Adult-FanFiction.org : Cartoons

The Epic of Dib	By : Fuzzbeast Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2991 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: "I do not own Invader Zim or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story."

Chapter List
- 1-Ch. 1
- 2-Ch. 2
- 3-Ch. 3
- 4-Ch. 4
- 5-Ch. 5
- 6-Ch. 6
- 7-Ch. 7
- 8-Ch. 8
- 9-Ch. 9
- 10-Ch. 10
- 11-Ch. 11 (Bonus Chapter/Deleted Scenes)
- 2
- 3
- 4
Author Note: This is the beginning of chapter 3 of this story. The same old warnings about ZADR and smut and gay alien sex apply here (which you ought to expect by now). There's also a small bit of PRAZR in this chapter. Warnings for non-con sex/rape in flashback, brief mention of torture in flashbacks, and some questionable pedophilia (depending on how you culturally define adulthood). Enjoy!
___________________________________
Chapter 3:
I woke up feeling pretty satisfied. I had just had an awesome birthday yesterday, topped off with awesome birthday sex, last night! I was quite surprised to see Zim still laying beside me. Irkens don't sleep all the way through the night like humans do. They usually just take short one-hour naps all throughout the day and night. It used to bug me when Zim would get up in the middle of the night then come back again for an hour only to leave again, but I've since gotten used to it. Still, I was always pleasantly surprised when he was still there in the mornings.
"Are you awake, Dib?" Oh, Zim was already awake! "Yeah, I'm awake," I replied. "I'm really surprised to see you still here in bed." He smiled a bit. "You were just too warm and nice to leave this morning." Aw, he was making me grin now. "Thanks, Zim, that birthday was awesome!" "Heh heh, your next birthday will be even better! I hope I don't run out of good present ideas by the time you turn 200!" He chuckled to himself. "Oh, don't worry about that Zim, I'm not going to live to 200 anyways." He stopped laughing now and looked rather serious. "Why not, Dib? What's going to happen to you?"
I swallowed uncomfortably. "Well, humans have a natural lifespan and it doesn't usually go above 100." He looked genuinely shocked. "So, you mean you're only going to live to be 100?" "Actually, Zim," I said hesitantly, "I'm probably not even going to live to be 100. The average human lifespan is more around 75 and there's no telling how long I'll live. Could be more, could be less." He was staring at me with wide eyes now. "HOW CAN YOU SOUND SO CALM ABOUT THIS?! That's much too short! I don't want you to die!!!" he practically screamed at me. "Zim! Calm down and stop yelling. It's okay. I'm used to the idea of living a normal life. It's not so bad..." I could tell from his panicked expression that he wasn't calming down at all. "No, no, no..." he muttered to himself, shaking his head. He finally looked up at me, with an extremely serious expression on his face. He spoke in a very determined tone, "Don't worry Dib, I won't let it happen. I'll make you a pak like mine so you can live to a proper 200 or 300 years old. I won't lose you right after I got you!" I sighed. "Zim, you don't have to-" "NO!" he interrupted, "I will succeed in this! I will save you!" I sighed again, feeling defeated. "Zim, I'm just not sure I want a mechanical device grafted into my spine." He stared at me in complete disbelief and finally said, "Why not?" Ugh, that alien! He's so stubborn! Still, it wasn't such a bad idea... "You know what? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to live a longer life and not age at all. I'll do it! Just be careful, Zim, if you mess up I could wind up paralyzed or dead..." He reached out and pulled me into a hug. "Do not worry, Dib, I won't fail you... I'll start researching everything I can about human physiology until I figure out how to build you a pak of your own!"
We laid there a bit longer in bed, the topic had left me feeling a bit less happy and a bit more depressed. Then I started wondering how old Zim actually was compared to me. What if he was already 200 or something?! "Hey, Zim, how old are you anyway? I've never asked you before." He scrunched up his eyes for a bit in concentration before answering, "Well, I guess I'd be 63 in earth years." That put a bit of a damper on my mood. Ugh, the more I thought about it, the more it felt a bit like a weird pedo relationship for me to be 19 and with someone who was 63! But then again, Zim's people aged differently and lived different lifespans, so it really wasn't like that, was it?! But Zim doesn't strike me as particularly wise or mature for his age, so maybe Irkens mature differently than humans? Maybe he's really in his 20's emotionally, whatever that means?! But wait, what if Zim really wasn't that old or mature at all by Irken standards? Am I really the pedo here?!!
"Gah!" I yelled aloud. Zim jumped a bit. "What is it, Dib? What's wrong with you?" "Sorry," I apologized, "but I'm just thinking all kinds of crazy thoughts and anyway, I'm wondering if you're an adult by Irken standards." He blinked in confusion at me for a few seconds before answering, "Well, sure I am; I am not a 'smeet' anymore." I let out a sigh of relief, but the gears in my mind were still churning. "So, Zim, what age do Irkens consider themselves to be adults and not smeets anymore?" Zim furrowed up his brow in thought. "I'm not exactly sure how to answer that... I mean, it's usually age 10..." "Huh?" I said, confused. "What do you mean, 'it's usually age 10'? How do you not know exactly what age that you guys consider people to be adults?" He let out an exasperated breath. "Dib, Irken society is not like human society where there's one set age. I say 'usually age 10' because that's how long most people take to finish their basic schooling, and that's when a smeet is assigned a job and gets to leave the underground schooling facilities. That's when they are referred to as an 'Irken' and not a 'smeet' anymore. That's why I'm not sure how to answer your question exactly."
I mulled over this puzzling information. Does finishing schooling bear anything on whether or not an Irken has actually reached their full growth and maturity levels? What if Zim had been a child when he first came to Earth? Does that mean that Irkens force their children to fight wars? That thought left an icky taste in my mouth... I'm just going to have to ask some more specific questions to try to get to the root of the answer I'm looking for. "So, why do some of your people not quit schooling at the same time?" He stroked his antenna thoughtfully. "It depends on how well they do on their tests. As you know, we are given knowledge at birth through pak programming, which comes from the collective memory databanks. This is mostly historical data, many facts, and much practical knowledge of our society's important laws." I nodded 'yes' impatiently, waiting for him to get to something I didn't know. "But," he continued, "there is some knowledge not given through pak programming. Military training is something that we must learn directly. It's better learned through practical training so we spend our early years learning that. If you don't do well on your tests, you can be held back for more years. Of course, if you keep failing, after about 5 additional years, you'll be sent to do some crummy job like being on the janitorial squad or being a food service drone. Or even sent to work in the mines." He shivered a bit at that last thing.
Hmm...I thought to myself about this. Just failing tests doesn't make you 'not an adult', does it? There must be some other yardstick of adulthood on Irk. I decided to press on with my questioning. "Okay, so what age can someone be sent into combat?" Surely Irkens wouldn't send their children into combat, would they? Zim stared blankly at me. "Dib, going into combat isn't based on age, it's based on height. It doesn't matter how old you are, if you're too short you'll never get to be a professional soldier. In fact, short Irkens are forced to work the crummy jobs." "Huh? But Zim, I thought you said only people who failed their tests get the crummy jobs!" He looked at me like I was an idiot at this point. "Dib, height IS one of the tests. If you don't get tall enough within that 10 year time frame, you'll be held back for 5 extra years. If you still don't meet minimum requirements, you'll get a crappy job."
That still didn't answer my question too well. This was getting frustrating. What else can I ask? I finally settled on something that I thought would be fool-proof. "Well, Zim, what age can you guys have sex?" He looked even more confused now. "Anytime after birth, Dib. You know we're practically fully developed after activation from the smeet-tubes. It is considered kind of mean, though, if a much larger Irken chooses to mate with a small one because they can be badly hurt." I just stared in shock. That sounded quite nasty and horrible. Zim continued, "but don't worry, it rarely happens because most taller Irkens wouldn't be interested in someone that small when they have access to higher status individuals." Zim didn't seem to notice how uncomfortable this information was making me, especially his completely nonchalant attitude towards it. "Um, Zim," I asked hesitantly, "how old were you when you first had sex?"
His antenna twitched a bit. "Oh! I remember now! I was six years old!" he exclaimed. "Uh, so tell me about that..." I said, genuinely curious now. I was wondering what Zim's previous lover had been like. Maybe he even had a little boyfriend back from his school days? "Oh," he continued, "it was to one of my instructors, of course. Just like most everyone." I coughed and choked a bit on my own saliva. Zim didn't seem to notice my discomfort and continued on. "He stopped me after class when everyone else had already left. He said that he liked me and I was flattered since he was taller than me. He then said to me 'may I mount you?'. I didn't really know what he meant by that, so I just said 'no'. He got angry with me. I didn't realize it at the time but I had just been incredibly rude to him by saying no to someone taller than me. He was a really nice instructor though, and he gave me a second chance by asking me again. I said 'no' again, though, because I still didn't understand and I was a very stubborn smeet. He got very angry then..." Zim looked a bit embarrassed at this point, but I was feeling a bit sick in my stomach. I didn't like the way this story was going at all...
"Anyway, he got pretty mad at me and punched me. I got quite a pummeling for my insolence. Then he pinned me down and mounted me anyway. It hurt quite a lot and I even cried!" Zim shook his head in bemused disbelief at that statement. I seriously felt sick at this point. That bastard had... Zim's voice interrupted my thoughts, "Anway, I healed up from my wounds after a day or two, but I was still feeling pretty guilty about it. I asked Skoodge for advice." I looked puzzled at that, but Zim noticed and said "Oh he was my friend at the time! He told me to go apologize to the instructor for my rudeness. I decided to do just that. That instructor was pretty nice because he accepted my apology and asked me again if he could mount me. I gave the right answer that time and he mounted me again. He was gentler that time." Zim was actually smiling but I felt I might vomit. Zim finally seemed to notice the sickened face I was making. "Dib, what's wrong? I said I was sorry and apologized for my mistake. He even forgave me very graciously! I think I did much better that second time. Don't be upset with me, Dib, everyone makes mistakes sometimes..." I swallowed hard before speaking, "Zim, that bastard raped you, and you don't even seem to be upset about it! And then you had to apologize to him for raping you!? That's fucked up!!!" Zim seemed a bit taken aback by my outburst. He squinted one eye and said, "but Dib, there's nothing 'fucked up' about what happened. I don't know why you're so upset. That's normal for Irken society. You really can't say 'no' to sex from someone who's much taller than you. They will ask your permission as a formality but if you say no, then you'd better hope it doesn't offend them, or you'll get a pummeling and they'll mount you anyways." "BUT ZIM!" I protested, practically sputtering over my words, "that's wrong!" "Not really, Dib. It's really only wrong if someone shorter did it to a taller Irken, then they'd face punishments. Otherwise, it's perfectly fine." I felt rather defeated and sad. Could I not convince him this was wrong and terrible? I sighed and just pulled him into a tight hug. "It's alright," I whispered into his antenna, "you're safe now." He pulled out of the hug and looked at me, utterly baffled. I finally realized that I probably couldn't make him understand why I was upset. It seemed that our cultures were just too different. I sighed in defeat. "C'mon, Zim, let's get some breakfast." "Oh, right," he said as he rose from bed, "I need to get to researching that pak for you as well!" He happily strode out the door but I was still feeling like shit.
__________________________________________________
Over the next few weeks, Zim spent all his time furiously working on my pak. He was busy trying to read up on human biology and trying to research everything he could from his own database on how Paks were made. I had come to terms with the fact that his culture was pretty shitty in many regards. Not only were Irkens rather rape-prone, it seemed that they endorsed torture as well. Zim had told me that when he was younger he had tried to escape from the educational facility because he had been bored (at least that's what he said) and that he was punished for it with "reconditioning". I had asked him what that was, and he told me that they strapped him down and hooked his antenna to some electrodes and shocked him intermittently for about 4 hours. Knowing how sensitive his antenna are, I can only imagine how terrible that must have been. Zim had just shrugged it off, though, and said that Irkens are expected to undergo regular pain tolerance training anyways and that it was no big deal. Not only was Irken society crummy in that regard, they were also incredibly unfair to those who were deemed too short. They were often overworked and underpaid, stuck in crappy jobs even if they were technically talented enough to do something better, and it seemed that their entire society had massive double-standards based on height. It made me sad, frankly, but Zim seemed so used to the idea that whenever I brought up this unfairness he didn't think anything of it.
Zim was pretty busy at this moment. He had been ceaselessly working in his lab, reading tons and tons of texts on human anatomy and scrutinizing the design of his own pak. I, as usual, didn't have anything much to do but surf the Irken database. "Hey, Gir," I ordered the little robot, "make me something to eat for lunch." "Yes, sir!" he said as he saluted and skipped off happily towards the kitchen. I idly gazed at the screen of my laptop (an upgraded version given to me by Zim). I was watching some old news feeds of Zim's leaders, Tallest Red and Purple. Those were odd names, but Zim had said that was just what the Control Brains had named them. Perhaps they were running low on creativity that day or something. I watched the video where the two Tallest were addressing the audience of rapt Irkens. Purple said something critical of one of Red's ideas (as best as I could tell with my growing mastery of Irken language) and Red smacked him right in the face with his gauntlet. I blinked, surprised by that. The more I watched them, the more I realized that Red tended to pick on his co-ruler quite a lot, often overriding his ideas and belittling him, and even smacking him occasionally. Red was clearly an abusive bully, but at the same time, there were odd moments when he was sweet to Purple, holding his hand or putting a comforting arm around him. These moments often seemed to happen when the cameras weren't directly watching him. It was odd.
Gir startled me as he entered the room again. "Here you go, sir!" he said as he placed a plate of hamburgers down on the table. "Thanks, Gir," I said offhandedly. He saluted once more and walked out of the room. Just then Zim entered the room. He seemed tired as he sat down heavily at the table. "Do you ever feel frustrated when you want to do something but you can't quite figure out how to do it?" he asked with a sigh. I easily understood exactly what he was talking about. "Yes, Zim, I do. Why don't you take a break from your work and eat something?" He nodded and fetched a snack from the other room. Once he had returned, he sat back down at the table.
He chewed on his snack for a bit before asking, "What're you watching?" "I'm watching Red smack the crap out of Purple," I replied. He laughed. "Zim, why is Red always so mean to Purple?" Zim chuckled a bit more. "Dib, by our standards, Tallest Red and Purple are a perfectly normal couple." I'd like to say I was surprised by this, but knowing what I know about Irken society, I couldn't say I was particularly surprised. Zim looked contemplative for a moment, then spoke up once more, "I remember when they first became Tallest. I was there in the ship outside their room when Red mounted Purple as a show of dominance." Zim seemed almost sad as he spoke, a complete change from his earlier demeanor. "Zim, how did you know what they were doing?" He waved his hand dismissively, "Oh, I could hear Purple shrieking loudly. To be honest, I think everyone aboard the Massive could hear him. I could pretty much hear what he was saying too." "What was he saying?" I asked. "No, stop, please don't hurt me... Mostly stuff like that." Zim had a distant look in his eyes. It figured that even his leaders were terrible people. Zim continued, "Everyone else snickered at Purple for sounding so weak, but I felt rather bad for him. We went to school at the same time, you know." I was rather surprised that Zim was more upset about Purple being raped than he was about his own 'first time'. "Hey, Zim, why is Red so mean like that?" Zim squinted his eyes. "Well, he's not really that mean. He and Purple were actually lovers even back in school, but he's always been more dominant. When they became co-rulers together it was pretty much understood that they'd have to establish a pecking order or they wouldn't be able to rule together without fighting constantly. I guess Red just chose to take initiative and forcefully make Purple understand that he was in charge." I just looked at him a bit incredulously. Zim spoke, "I mean, everyone on the ship all knew it would have to happen eventually. We were not surprised. I felt bad, though, because Purple locked himself in the cargo bay and cried for hours afterwards. I stood outside the door but I was too afraid to go in. I did want to comfort him, but everyone else said I was stupid and weak for feeling that sentiment." I honestly felt more pity for Purple after learning this bit of information. "Oh, well," Zim said after a few minutes, "I guess it doesn't matter now. I mean, they get along well enough now, even if Red smacks Purple occasionally." I frowned at that statement.
Zim looked up at me then. "Do you think I'm defective for feeling such weird feelings? It's been obvious to me since I was a smeet that I'm defective. I didn't want to admit it before, but... I think my weird feelings might be proof of it..." "Zim," I insisted adamantly, "you're not defective at all! You might be the only decent member of your whole race! In fact, maybe you're the okay one and everyone else is defective." Zim smiled a bit at that and seemed to be cheered up. "Thank you, Dib, I'm grateful to have such a supportive partner who believes in me."
We passed a few more minutes of silence before I spoke up. "Actually, Zim, I was wondering, what were you doing on their ship anyways?" Zim looked up from his food. "Huh? Oh, well, it was right after I'd passed my 'elite' test, so I was actually working there as a guard." "Really, they chose you to work on their ship as a guard even though you were quite short at the time?" I asked. Zim looked rather nervous and embarrassed for some reason. "Well, I had a side job there...doing something else for them." He clearly didn't want to tell me something, but I was curious now. "What was it?" Zim started fiddling with his shirt collar and looking at the floor. "C'mon Zim, you can tell me," I said in the softest most encouraging voice I could muster. He sighed. "Well, Dib, I didn't want to tell you this, but they kept me around because they liked to have someone to amuse themselves with..." I gave him a quizzical look. He continued, letting out a shaky breath, "I mean, they wanted someone convenient to fuck." He got a distant look in his eyes and stared off towards the wall.
Flashback, Zim's POV:
"Zim, the Tallest request your presence in their personal quarters," the guard said to me. I nodded happily and quickly walked off to their room. Of course, I knew what they probably wanted from me, and I was more than pleased to fulfill this important role. I pushed the button on the door console, and announced my arrival. "Zim is here, My Tallest." "Come in," Tallest Red responded. Both Tallest were sitting in their chairs staring at their hover consoles. I walked over to Tallest Red and stood next to his chair, waiting for him to look up. He briefly glanced over but didn't say anything. Instead, he pulled my pants down partially, roughly jamming his fingers into my anus. I squeaked a bit but didn't protest. My Tallest wanted to have sex with me again! The fingers hurt a bit but I smiled anyway. He then pulled out abruptly, causing me to grunt. He pulled down his garment and exposed his crotch. I waited expectantly. He finally looked over at me once more. "Hey, Zim, be a dear and help me out a bit?" I caught his meaning and got to work stroking and teasing his slit. Eventually, his penis popped out, fully erect. He yanked my hand away at that point and pulled me into his lap, impaling me roughly on his length. I tried to stifle my shriek of pain, but it was still pretty loud. He patted me on the leg as he muttered, "Oh, Zim, don't make such a fuss." I blinked back my tears and replied, "Thank you, My Tallest, for choosing me." "Hmm, that's nice," he muttered as he continued looking at his console. He began thrusting at a lazy pace. I tried my best to move in unison and squeeze down on my beloved Tallest to give him the most pleasurable experience possible. He eventually sped up his pace, and finally came with a grunt. I waited for him to say something. After a few minutes he shoved me off and I stood up. "Hey, Zim, come over here," Tallest Purple said. He was clearly already aroused from watching that little display. I moved over to him. "Do you require my services too?" I asked. He grinned at me. "Yep, have a seat, Zim." I sat down, impaling myself on his penis. He began to thrust slowly. I was already quite aroused at this point, my erection straining painfully against the front of my pants. He reached down and idly stroked me through the fabric. I whimpered and clenched around him. "Ah, yes, that's good, Zim. Keep squeezing for me." I smiled at the praise and tried to keep squeezing for him. "Mmmmm...." he moaned. He quickened his pace and I struggled to keep up with him. He eventually groaned and I felt his seed spurting into me. He recovered his senses after a few minutes. I waited for further instruction. "Okay, Zim, you can go now. Good job!" he said, patting me on the back dismissively. I pulled myself off of him, whimpering slightly, before pulling my pants back up. I walked out of the room, my erection rubbing a bit painfully against my pants. I felt good about doing a good job, even if I didn't get to cum. My Tallest were pleased with me! That's all that mattered...
End Flashback
"Zim?" He had a glazed over look in his eyes. "Huh?" he said, shaken out of his trance. "Oh, sorry," he said, "I was just... remembering. They used to fuck me without any concern about how I felt. They didn't even care if I came or not or even if they hurt me or not. They were just using me for their own pleasure, and sometimes they would fuck me while they were doing something else, like reading reports." I looked at him, shocked. He continued, "I liked it at the time, because I thought they cared about me and liked me, and I felt good being able to please My Tallest. But now...whenever I think about it, it makes me feel sick in my squeedlyspooch. They were just using me! Now that I'm with you, I know how much better it can be. You're so kind and loving to me, and you always make me feel good. I could never go back to that old way now!" I was rather stunned by this admission. I felt my anger growing. "Those bastards! Don't worry, Zim, I love you, and I'd never treat you like that. Now come over here!" I held my arms out. He scooted over and I hugged him tightly. He buried his face in my neck and I felt a slightly wet sensation. Was he crying? "Zim, are you okay?" I asked softly. He sniffled, "Sorry, I just...I feel like...like someone who's been starving to death his whole life who's suddenly been given a banquet to eat." I knew what he meant. He was starving for attention and recognition, starving for affection... I had felt much the same during my life. I hugged him even closer. It was strange to think that he was more hurt by the realization that he had been used by his leaders than he was about being raped when he was younger, but now that I think about how much Irkens practically worship their leaders, I could understand. "Dib," he whispered into my ear, "Will you, um, make love to me?" "Of course," I whispered back. I would make him feel good!
I gently stroked his antenna, up and down. He moaned in pleasure and leaned back into me. I pressed my lips to his, capturing him in a deep kiss. I continued stroking and kissing for a minute or so more before I finally pulled away for a breath. "Hey, Zim, let's take this to the bedroom so we can be more comfortable." He nodded and I led him by the hand back down to the bedroom. He sat down on the bed, looking a bit teary-eyed and dazed. I sat down next to him and pulled him into a kiss once more. I began to stroke his antenna again and he made soft whimpering sounds into my mouth. I reached a hand down to his crotch, stroking slow, soft circles there. He moaned a bit more and started to rock gently against my hand. I teased him for a few minutes more, earning more cute whimpers and moans. Eventually he tugged at my shirt and I understood what he wanted. I stood up and stripped off my clothes, watching as he did the same. "Lie down for me, Zim," I said, my tone loving. He moved some pillows into place so he could lie comfortably on his back and complied. I pressed my mouth to his slit, pressing my tongue against it. He was already dripping, and his erection soon followed. I ran my tongue up and down the length, stroking his thighs with my hands as I went. "Aaah...." he kept moaning. I slid my mouth over his length, sucking the plentiful fluid out of the tip, rubbing my tongue against the sensitive ridges as I went. I could feel his thighs trembling. I pulled up and placed kisses all down his chest eventually ending at the junction of his crotch once more. I placed a soft kiss right on the tip of his erection. "I love you, Zim," I whispered. He didn't reply but I could see the emotion in his face. He looked so touched, he didn't even have to say he loved me back out loud; it was so clearly evident in his expression. "May I mount you?" I said in Irken. His eyes went wide at the familiar Irken phrase. "Yes," he replied in Irken, with no hesitation at all. I gathered up some of his natural lubricant and coated my own length with it. I slid into his tight entrance slowly, taking special care to be gentle. I thrust in and out building a slow pace. Zim was being unusually submissive, right now, and letting me dictate the pace. He wrapped his legs around me and I sped up my pace, Zim moaning the whole time. I could feel us both growing more desperate, more ready. He finally tensed and screeched as he spurted out his fluid. I thrust a few more times, then came with a shudder, filling him with my essence. I looked up after I had caught my breath. Zim was smiling such a beautiful, happy smile...
I laid down next to him. For a few minutes, only silence passed between us. Zim finally broke the quietness, "Dib, I think...I understand more now why you seemed upset before. You're way is definitely better. I still don't think my instructor did anything wrong, but you're way does feel better." I smiled a bit at his admission. It still wasn't exactly what I was looking for; he still didn't quite understand fully why I didn't like his people's customs, but at least he was trying to understand. That was good enough for now. "Thanks, Zim, for trying to understand my position. Let's take a little nap." I hugged him close and we drifted off to sleep.
___________________________________________
After further discussion, even Zim seemed to agree that there were aspects of his people's culture that could be better. He seemed to understand why I found non-consensual sex so upsetting, even though he still wasn't horrified by it the way I was. Still, we were making progress understanding each other...
Zim had been up especially late tonight, still working on the pak problem, I presumed. It was already midnight. I hadn't gone to bed yet either just because I didn't feel like it. I rather missed him when he wasn't there at least until I fell asleep. To make matters worse, I was hungry despite the stupidly late hour, but I was in one of those weird moods where none of the food in the house struck my fancy. I stared into the fridge for the hundredth time, frowning at the stuff in there. I just didn't feel like any of it...
Just at the moment when I was about the search the cupboards AGAIN, Zim stepped up out of the elevator. He seemed to notice me staring longingly at the fridge. "Are you hungry, Dib?" "Yes, but I just don't feel like anything here. It's irritating!" He chuckled. "Let's go out then!" He turned on his hologram disguise and drug me out the door before I could protest about how late it was.
Soon we were in the car, driving around. Most of the fast food places were closed by now. Zim drove slowly past a few that were clearly closed. "Dib," he finally said in frustration, "do you know anywhere that might still be open?" I pondered for a moment. "I never would have had this problem on Irk," I heard him mutter under his breath. "Oh," I piped up, "I think Waffle House is still open!" I gave Zim directions, and he soon pulled into the parking lot (only slightly clipping the curb on his way in).
We came in and sat down in one of the booths in the far corner of the restaurant. The tired-looking waitress barely glanced at us, despite the fact that we probably did look like a couple odd balls, especially since Zim was muttering to himself about soapy waffles and peanuts in the soap. I'm sure she was used to weirdos coming in at this hour. Still, the place was pretty empty. We seemed to be the only customers in here, and other than the lone waitress (who presumably was also the cook tonight - man they were short-staffed!), no one else was present. It was kind of nice having the place totally to ourselves.
Zim and I picked up our menus and started looking through them. I already knew that I wanted their super-delicious bacon, egg and cheese biscuit, and I might as well order a steak too because that's just how awesome I am! I deserve it since all those apps I had made before were pulling in some decent enough money! Zim had already decided on waffles. Again. Does he not ever get tired of those!? The waitress finally came around to take our orders. Her red hair was frazzled and she had some massive dark circles under her eyes. "So, what'll it be?" she asked, her voice sounding just as gruff and tired as she looked. I spoke first, "I'll have the bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit, and a ribeye with eggs." "How do you want that steak?" she asked, barely looking up from her notepad. "Well done, please." "Alright, sir, how about you?" she asked Zim. "Ah, yes," he replied, "I'd like some waffles, no peanuts or soap, please." "Uh, huh," she said, not even sparing a glance for the odd request. She must be even more tired mentally than she looked if that didn't even get a reaction from her. She shuffled away to go cook up our orders, leaving Zim and I to ourselves.
We made some small talk to pass the time. "You know, Dib," he said as he fiddled with condiments on our table, "I was thinking about that cute little smeet doll on our bedside table. You should make a Dib-doll to go with it. It'd be cute, like a set!" I smiled at that. "Sure, Zim, that seems like a fun idea. It'll give me something to do to pass the time. I haven't sewn anything since home ec. class, though, I hope I remember how. It can't be too hard, though. Besides, now that you brought it up, my little Zim doll does look lonely without his Dib to love!" We both giggled a bit at that. Zim seemed to ponder a bit more while he tried to lick the maple syrup out of its container. "Hey, Dib, what do you think it would look like if you and I had a smeet of our own?" I stopped for a moment to think. "Like a hideous abomination against nature?" I finally answered. "Yes, yes," Zim said as he waived his hand dismissively, "But would it be attractive?" We stared at each other for a second before we both burst out laughing. If the waitress was paying any attention to our conversation, she certainly wasn't showing it.
The waitress finally came over with our meals and set them down. My steak was looking pretty good for a cheap Waffle House steak, and Zim was busy carefully inspecting his waffles for peanuts. Once he deemed them satisfactory, he nodded his approval. The waitress walked off just as some more people entered the restaurant. In fact, it seemed to be a rather large group of friends, at least 10 people, all about my same age. I could almost swear that I recognized some of them. Wait, wasn't that Zita over there? Yes, it was! And the big guy was definitely Torque Smacky! God, I hoped they didn't notice us or bother us at all. Zim wasn't paying any attention to them at all, even though they were talking loudly at their own booths near the center of the restaurant. Oh well, best just to ignore them and carry on. I wasn't going to let them ruin my evening. I turned back to my steak and dug in.
Soon I noticed that Zim was fiddling with something in his pocket. I looked on with curiosity. "Hey Dib," he said, "I have a small present for you. I got bored of researching earlier today and I made this instead." He pulled out something small from his pocket. I appeared to be a ring, but it wasn't gold or silver. It was black colored and shaped more like a nut or a hexagon than a smooth ring. It was also studded with what looked like diamonds at regular intervals around it's perimeter. I held it up in my hand and traced it's contours with my finger. "Oh, Zim, is this a ring? What's it made of?" "It's carbon steel and diamonds." Even though it was a bit unusual-looking, the more I examined it, the more I liked it. It felt like it was meant just for me. "Try it on," he urged. I slid it onto my ring finger, and it fit perfectly. "It's awesome, Zim, thank you so much!" I said enthusiastically. "I'm glad you like it," he replied, "it is a symbol of my love for you; a 'love-offering' you could say." I knew Zim didn't really know much about marriage or weddings or any of that garbage, but this almost felt like a wedding proposal. Just the way he phrased it, referring to the ring as a 'symbol of my love for you'. "Thank you Zim," I said again. I reached out and squeezed his hand across the table.
"Hey look at those fags over there!" someone's voice cut through my happy mood. "Hey is that Dib and Zim?" I recognized that as Torque's voice. "It figures they would be gay for each other!" he yelled. Everyone started laughing. I immediately felt flooded by all those old memories of being bullied in high school. It felt like such shit, I almost thought I'd start crying again. Just as I felt tears pricking at the corners of my eyes, Zim stood up. He started hissing, a low menacing sound. I instantly recognized this behavior; it was a threatening gesture in Irken society, mainly meant as a warning. Then he started making little lunging, hopping motions. This was bad. It meant Zim was pissed and definitely willing to fight and I was growing quite worried that this little altercation would get out of hand. Of course, this sort of behavior looked rather strange and silly coming from a 'human' and everyone in Torque's group was just staring at him as though he'd grown a second head. "Zim," I said in the calmest voice I could manage, "just calm down. It's okay; you don't need to hurt Torque. It's not worth fighting about." Zim didn't stop, though. In fact, his hissing increased in volume.
Torque had gotten up at this point. Even though he didn't quite understand what Zim was doing, it seemed clear that he understood that Zim was challenging him to a fight. "Zim, please," I begged, "let's just leave, you don't need to fight!" Zim spoke to me but didn't take his eyes off of Torque, "Dib, this is the one that hurt you before! We are being challenged! Now stand up and let's face him!" Torque started laughing at him. "What's that shrimpy little boyfriend of yours actually going to do to me, huh, fag?" he accentuated his last word in a way that made my eyes sting. It seemed that word still had the power to hurt me. Zim was absolutely livid at being called small, and I could see a murderous expression spread across his face. He spoke to Torque in a very low and threatening voice, "If you insult my partner, you insult me too. I challenge you! Do you accept or submit?" Torque clearly didn't see how serious this was, because he just laughed again. Zim drew back his arm and punched Torque right in the face, so hard that Torque actually fell to the ground. Zim wasn't finished, though; he kicked Torque right in the side. He continued with a flurry of kicks as he yelled angrily, "If I ever catch you hurting my Dib again I'll hunt you down like the stink-beast you are and beat you bloody until they pull me off your quivering, twitching corpse!!!"
Suddenly the waitress ran out from the back room where she had been previously and screamed. "If you don't stop fighting I'll call the police!" she yelled frantically. Zim finally stopped kicking Torque, looking satisfied. Torque immediately got up and stumbled away. "Keep your psycho boyfriend away from me!" he yelled as he and his friends ran out the door. I decided it was time to get the hell out of here, too, just in case the police really did show up. I quickly threw enough money down on the table to pay for our meals and grabbed Zim by the arm. We sprinted out the door and into our car, speeding off into the night.
I didn't calm down until we were far away from the Waffle House. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't feel satisfied seeing the person who hurt me so much in High School get a sound thrashing. Still, that really wasn't a socially acceptable way to behave in public and I was a bit annoyed with Zim for flying off the handle like that. Then again, I was thankful that Zim had stood up for me when no one else in my life ever had. I sighed loudly. "Thanks, Zim. For sticking up for me, I mean." He looked surprised that I was thanking him. "Of course, Dib, that's what partners are for. I'm supposed to defend you from enemies." I couldn't help but admonish Zim a bit, though, for his behavior. "Zim, that really was a bit of an overreaction, though. You didn't really need to beat the shit out of him. I mean, all he did was call me a name. It really wasn't that big of a deal." Zim didn't say anything in response, instead remaining silent and staring straight ahead. It was rather unnerving and I couldn't quite guess what he was thinking.
When he pulled into our driveway, instead of getting out of the car, he stayed there, seated. "Zim?" I questioned quietly. He finally turned his face to me and I could see little tears in his eyes. "Zim?!" I yelled this time, rather worried now. He swallowed hard and finally spoke. "Dib, do you not understand? That guy is the one who beat you and taunted you for years. You almost died because of him!" He gestured towards the now-faint scars on my wrists and I caught his meaning. He continued, "He's hurt you so many times, Dib. What I did was only a tiny fraction of what he's done to you. I could've killed him if I'd wanted to, but I didn't because I wanted to honor your wishes. I don't understand though why you value yourself so little that you'd just put up with that, especially since there's no reason to..." I felt tears starting to form in my own eyes now. A tight little lump was growing in my throat. His words seemed to ring true. I thought I had gotten better after my suicide attempt a few years ago, that I'd put it all behind me, that I had good self-esteem now, but Zim's words made me suddenly realize that I still felt worthless at times. I could use the excuse of 'not causing a scene' as much as I wanted, but I knew deep down that I really felt that I wasn't worthy of being defended and there were even days when I felt like I wasn't worthy of Zim's love.
"I'm sorry, Zim. It's just that I don't think I'm really worth fighting for." "Sometimes-" I whispered, the tears starting to flow freely now, "I don't even feel like I'm a good partner to you or that I deserve your love." He looked rather taken aback at this admission. I pressed on. "I don't do anything for you and you do so much nice stuff for me - and I'm just like a parasite that takes stuff but doesn't do anything good for you and I'm sorry, and-" I was babbling incoherently at this point. Zim pulled me into his arms and held me close. "None of that is true, Dib," he whispered into my ear. "You're much harder on yourself than I could ever be. I love and respect you and I feel you contribute to me just fine. In fact, I think you saved my life more than I even saved yours. Come on, I have something to show you."
He got out of the car and I followed him into the house. He sat down once he got to the bedroom and flipped open his own laptop. He pulled up a screen that appeared to be a sort of email communication and it was clearly from his Tallest. I read it aloud:
"To Zim:
We're writing to inform you that due to your poor progress conquering Earth, we have decided to terminate your mission. You are a failure and a defect and a short person! Due to your inherent shortness and defectiveness, we have lost hope that you will ever succeed! You are henceforth banished to that crappy planet called Earth! So don't call us anymore! Oh, and don't bother coming back to Irk! We don't want to see your small self again!
Best Regards,
The Tallest
P.S. - You're incredibly short!"
As I finished reading the email, my first thought was that the Tallest had no creativity when it came to insults. That letter was laughably stupid, and I was about to tell Zim that too, except that I noticed that tears were streaming down his face and he looked utterly heartbroken. I guess that their words had hurt him quite badly even if they were quite stupid. "Zim?" I questioned.
He spoke, "I never told you this, but I almost chose to die the way you almost did; I just wasn't brave enough to actually do it at first, but I would have eventually. It's expected that a defective Irken will do the respectable thing and kill themselves. The only thing that kept me from pressing my self-destruct button was that I realized that you were one person who would care if I was gone. I didn't realize I loved you back then but you were the only one who spoke to me so I didn't feel so alone..." I hugged him close. "Oh, Zim..." I whispered, "I never knew. You're much better at hiding your sadness than I am." He sniffled a bit and let out a short laugh. "I know, Dib; that's because they don't teach you useful skills like that in your Skool." Despite my tears I chuckled a bit, too, at the joke. He looked me right in the eye before he spoke. "There's something we were taught to do back in our schooling, something to help us boost our egos when we were feeling short or un-brave. Come on Dib, repeat after me: 'I'm an amazing person!'" I looked down, feeling too embarrassed to do this stupid confidence exercise. "Come on, Dib, do it!" he ordered. I groaned. "Zim this make me feel stupid." "I know! That's the problem. We have to get you to where you don't feel stupid because you are a smart and amazing person!" he said enthusiastically. "Now, c'mon!" he insisted, poking me in the stomach. I sighed and gave in. "I'm an amazing person..." I muttered quietly. "No, no Dib! You have to do it better!" he said as he stood up and put his hands on his hips proudly. He spoke in a confident voice, "I am an amazing person!" He beamed. I stood up too. "I am an amazing person," I repeated, not quite triumphantly as Zim had, but he seemed pleased nonetheless.
"Alright, Zim, it's my turn now. You have to repeat something for me now." "Eh?" he said, looking quite surprised that I had turned the tables. "Here's what you need to say," I continued, "I am a worthy person who deserves love and respect, regardless of what my Tallest say." He suddenly looked quite miffed, as though this was truly too difficult for him to say. "Come on Zim, I gave in to your demands, so it's only fair." He still hesitated, "Oh, but Dib, they are the Tallest and what they say is true..." "It's not true!" I insisted, "now say it. Come on!" I reached out and turned off his hologram disguise so I could see his real face. He finally mustered up his courage and spoke firmly. " I am a worthy person who deserves love and respect, regardless of what my Tallest say." "Good, Zim, that's great! I want you to know that I believe in you, no matter what. Now come one, let's get a shower and get to bed." We both grinned at each other and headed off to do just that.
We lay down together after our shower. I smiled at Zim; I knew he'd probably be up and awake again in a few hours, but I was still happy that he was here now. My head still felt a bit dizzy from all these turbulent happy and sad emotions of the day but I was definitely feeling better now. Zim rolled over and placed an arm around me. I relaxed into his touch and drifted off into a much-needed sleep.
____________________________________________________________________________
Author Note: If you are wondering why Red and Purple would pick Zim for that job when they could've picked anyone, bear in mind that they went to school together in their smeethood (as seen in the script for the canceled Episode "The Trial") and probably wanted to pick someone familiar to them for their own amusement.
- 2
- 3
- 4
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Epic of Dib