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Timmy Turner & The Red Headed Monster	By : misato29 Category: +1 through F > Fairly OddParents Views: 34766 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own The Fairly Oddparents and will not make any money from this or any otther story. All rights belong to the original copyright holders. This story is written for fun and should not be taken seriously.

Chapter List
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Timmy began to wake up. His head was bigger than his body. Everything around him that could move (including himself) was outlined with a black line. Things that wouldn’t move were flatter with less of a border. Yep, things were normal. He could be a superhero, a spaceman or anything else he could imagine. And no matter how long an adventure took, it was over in ten or twenty minutes (not counting title sequences, bumpers or commercials).
It was the first day of summer vacation and his parents were not going to leave him behind! He asked them and they swore up and down, left and right, port and starboard that they would all spend the summer together. “No Vickie! No Crockpot Crocker! Just my parents and lots of fun. And Cosmo..."
Timmy opened his eyes and looked at his fish bowl. “Oh yeah,” he remembered that Wanda and Poof weren’t going to be there. Wanda was spending the summer working with the Fairy Council to update Da Rules! Timmy was proud of the fact that hundreds of fairies, especially Wanda, were needed to update the rule book of fairy godparents just to keep up with him. He was proud of being the one human kid in the world who had done so many things not to be proud of.
Poof was spending the summer with Granddaddy Big Daddy. The Big Daddy of Fairyworld’s Underworld … err.. that is.. Fairyworld’s strictly 100% legit, magical trash disposal business, had promised to show Poof da’ ropes… then show him da’ chains and by the end of summer he would know where all da’ bodies are buried. Poof would be an expert in fitting victims… errr… the competition, for cement overshoes and sleepin’ wit da fishes. Cosmo thought this was great idea since he was a fish when he slept and didn’t mind company as long as they didn’t sleepwalk with cement shoes.
And Timmy would have Cosmo all to himself all summer. "AWESOME"
Timmy jumped for joy and bounced thirty feet in the air. The roof of his house telescoped upwards. On any other street this might have been a cause of concern, but people tended to ignore strange goings on at the Turner household. Timmy floated for a minute then suddenly crashed downwards to his bed at Mach 2. He hit the mattress and bounced 100 feet upwards and suddenly stopped, then continued floating upwards. Planes in the sky scattered as the roof continued to expand. “This was a great wish,” Timmy thought. The Trampoline Random Gravity Bed Bouncer was better than the best roller coaster since you never knew in what direction or how fast you were going to go.
“Hi Timmy!” Cosmo said poofing in next to Timmy. “Hey Cos-m-m-m-ooooooooo” Timmy yelped as he suddenly was thrown downwards again. Timmy rebounded and started giggling as Cosmo silently appeared behind him and started tickling him under his arms. They rocketed upwards, sideways and downwards.
“Stop, stop, stop. I can’t breathe” Timmy squealed in laughter.
“Not on your life!”
Timmy managed to turn around and grabbed at his godfather. “Hey, no fair tickling under my wings.” Timmy made another midair lunge and grabbed at Cosmo, but ripped his shirt instead. “
“Oh, like that, eh punk?” Cosmo’s clothes disappeared. Timmy kicked off his pj’s as they both floated downwards naked and free.
Cosmo liked being naked, he often poofed off his clothes in spite of Wanda giving him one of her looks that said “Hey moron, put on some pants!” Cosmo was the first adult Timmy had seen naked, even if he was a fairy. And although he was shy, Timmy liked to be naked too. He had accidently been naked in public a couple of times and hated it! But in his own room, with his godafather? Well, that was different, wasn't it? He wasn't embarrassed being bare assed with Cosmo. Timmy didn’t know why, but it had to be OK.
Cosmo hugged Timmy and Timmy closed his eyes. Timmy knew his for-real parents loved him. After all, any time he asked they would say so. And they would go right back to doing whatever crazy-dumb-stupid thing they had been doing. That meant they loved him, right? He didn’t have to ask Cosmo or Wanda or even Poof. His mom and dad would hug him and even kiss him… if he hugged them or kissed them first… if they noticed. But it was different with his fairy godparents and brother.
Timmy felt good in Cosmo’s arms as they careened off the bed bouncing like… like… like demented bouncy things. They had done this before and Timmy knew what was going to happen now. If Wanda been there she would have heaved a sigh and poofed Poof poofily out of the room. Timmy had once worried that this was “totally gay” but had been assured by Cosmo that it wasn’t totally gay. Jorgen had said “No way dude. Not totally gay, ” and he should know!
“Jorgen does it with Juandissimo.”
“He does?”
“Sure, and Juandissiomo does it to Binky while Cupid watches.”
“Does Wanda do it?”
“She better not! Why? What have you heard? Tell me!”
Timmy laughed as he laid his head on the green haired fairy's shoulder. "And it's not totally gay, right?"
“Not gay " Cosmo said. I'm bi, strictly bi. All us boys are bi on the bus." Coasmo sang
“By?” asked Timmy
“Bi, bi Timmy” responded Cosmo.
“Bye-bye?”
His godfather kissed him (something his for real father never did spontaneously) and whispered something in his ear, it sounded like… “Bi-cycle?” Timmy asked.
Cosmo said, “Close enough. Let’s go with that
Cosmo turned himself into a bicycle then back to himself.
Then Timmy was the bicycle...
...and Cosmo rode Timmy, he rode him hard!
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Timmy Turner & The Red Headed Monster