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The Dofus and the Cabbages	By : bazile64 Category: +S through Z > Wakfu Views: 2582 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: wakfu is property of Ankama and not me, i make nor claim any profit from this fanwork.

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“Okay” she said, more than a little short of breathe. He smiled at her and she seemed to snuggle into his arm a minuscule amount.
[that smile, how can I resist that smile? and he said he trusts me and I wonder if those fangs are sharp, I bet I could feel them if I kissed him...ahhh! bad eva! not the time!]
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She seemed to be steeling herself for something. When she opened her eyes, she was staring out at the landscape. Her voice took on a very cultured, academic tone.
“Alright. So, you know how plants come from seeds and birds come from eggs?”
“Yeah?”
“So...people are made from a little bit of both. You see, a man has a seed inside him...lots of seeds, actually. and women have eggs inside them. um.” Her concentration broke a moment, sighing.
“I think I understand so far...please go on.” He encouraged, trying not to get distracted by the way her chest moved when she sighed.
“A baby is formed when the seed from the man...um...mixes with the egg of the woman. otherwise the baby won’t grow. But once they combine together, the baby forms inside the woman in a special place known as a womb...which is right underneath a woman’s stomach, so when the baby starts to grow it looks like her stomach is getting bigger, um...” She stole a glance at Tristepin’s face, which was rapt with attention. She gallantly continued.
[how are you able, with that innocent look of yours, to make me feel so important and worldly and interesting? the way you’re hanging on my every word...do you even realise how flattering that is? do you even know how cute you look right now? or how much I want to reward your attention with some attention of my own...]
“It takes about nine months for a baby to grow, and at the end of it, the little boy or girl comes out during childbirth. It’s very painful and messy and can sometimes last hours, but,” and here Eva smiled with a faraway look in her eyes, “The mother looks so happy when she sees her newborn I can’t help but think it’s all worth it.”
In another surprising flash of insight, (he was having quite a few of these lately, he blamed continued exposure to Evangelyne for this) he asked, “Eva? Have you seen a childbirth?” His voice low and full of awe. She turned her head toward him slightly, and he could see her eyes glitter with nostalgia. “Not the actual thing, but I got to be there right afterwards.” She said fondly. “My little sister, I got to see when they first put her in my mother’s arms. My aunt said my mom had given me the very same look when I was born. I think Aunt Genevieve thought I was jealous, but all I could think of was how happy my mother looked, even though she was covered in sweat and looked exhausted.”
“So the baby just...comes out of the mother’s womb? How does that work? Do they have to cut her open?” Which, he reflected, would explain why she said it hurt so much.
“No they don’t cut her open!” She exclaimed but then backpedaled. “well, ok, only if something goes really, really wrong, but no, the baby usually comes out...um...” just when her blushes had started to recede, her face lit up again with red. “Between her legs. There’s a tunnel from the womb to the outside... different than where women pee but in a similar place...ah...” Her shoulders had risen almost far enough to cover her ears and she was half hiding her face into her fur muff. “Normally it’s pretty narrow but when the baby come out it gets really wide...ohhh.” She buried her face into her knees, which she was gripping tightly. “This is really something your parents should be telling you!” She whined.
Tristepin felt suddenly angry at that statement, as if she were calling him defective for not having parents to explain things for him. “Well, they can’t. As they’re dead. So all I’ve got is you.” He huffed. “and I don’t see why you’re getting so embarrassed.”
She looked wretched. “Oh Pinpin, really, I can’t help it! You don’t understand about men and women...arrrg!” She dropped her head again.
“If I don’t understand then tell me!” His brows furrowed in frustration. “Please Eva, you were doing a good job before. I really am trying.” He nudged her with his forehead. “Please help me understand.”
She seemed to gather some resolve and released her legs from the death grip, but couldn’t meet his gaze. “You know how I said the seed and the egg had to..mix?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, there’s a very specific..way...in which the man gets his seed into the woman’s body.”
A suspicion had started to form in Tristepin’s mind...one he wasn’t quite ready to put a name to.
“Gets it in...into her body?”
“Yes. and of course, somehow he had to get it to come out of his body. It’s stored...um..in a place where I hear it hurts a lot to be kicked.” She stammered.
“The teeth?”
“Arrrrg! no! It’s bad enough without you trying to make jokes!” she cried.
Tristepin decided it was probably better not to admit it hadn’t been a joke.
“Down. There!” she hissed, somewhat angrily, jabbing her finger towards the spot in between his legs. “You know! In the...” She screwed up her face and blurted “In the testes! The sac! The balls!”
“Oh!” he reddened, comprehension hitting him like a hammer to the....teeth. He could feel the tips of his ears burning. “OH!” He unconsciously hunched over, crossing his leg as if to shield the offending organs. “So then...you get the seed out by...”
“It comes out through the other....thing.”
[I’m going to die of embarrassment, right here on the snow. and when I pass on and meet the goddess, she’s going to ask me if I was a good cra, if my arrows flew straight and true. then I get to explain to her how I died trying to explain to a Iop what his penis was for.]
All at once, several puzzle pieces came together for Tristepin, a combination of all the rude jokes he’s ever heard plus the bits and pieces he’d picked up throughout his travels, plus his own observations when he’d...explored himself.
“OH Iop, you can’t mean...! You mean that stuff, that sticky stuff, that’s SEED?” His hand clamped over his mouth as if afraid it would fly off from the force of his blush. “and it comes out through my! after I! and then...” He stared at her in not so much horror as shock. “So then how do you get it inside you? do you...oh Iop, do you eat it?” he exclaimed.
Oh Iop he’d thought about that...he’d thought about maybe having her tongue on it, having her kiss it but he never thought...never in a million years thought it had anything to do with babies! and if he’d asked her...if he’d asked her to do the things he’d thought about...asked her to touch him and stroke him and kiss...would he have gotten her pregnant? What kind of horrible cad was he? and all that time the white stuff had been seeds? Were they even alive? Was he wasting LIFE every time he thought those evil but delicious thoughts? But no, she said nothing would grow from the seed without an egg...
“AAhh no! I mean I hear some women...NO!!!” she interrupted herself with a yell, shaking her head vigorously. “You don’t get pregnant from eating it! The seed has to be put into the woman’s womb, where the eggs are!” She was getting louder in her embarrassment, but she plowed on, determined to get the explanation over with. “The seed doesn’t live outside of a body! So you have to do the transfer....by...sticking...it...there.... and,” Her breathing was very shallow and her legs pressed very very tightly together, “moving around and touching each other alot and kissing and making each other feel really good!” She squeezed her eyes shut, unable to watch as Tristepin’s eyes got rounder and rounder.
“Oh wow....that’s sex, isn’t it? that’s what everybody means by having sex?” tristepin breathed, more to himself than to Evangelyne. “and they all say it feels really really good and it’s something you do when you love someone...or at least think they’re attractive...” and he hadn’t meant to look at her, at least not in that way, but he couldn’t help it. Once he’d glanced at her he couldn’t stop taking her in the sight of her in this new fascinating light. Her lusciously long legs, her creamy skin, he tapering lines of her chin, the graceful arch of her back. Her hips...those perfect flaring hips that begged to be touched...the feelings he’d get every time those hips came near him...his previously indescribable desire to grind himself against those hips.
“But what makes..what makes loving someone or thinking they’re attractive make you want to make babies? Can’t you feel that way, do those things without wanting kids? Or at least...not wanting them right away?”
“Yes.” She admitted, but it came out as a strangled cry. “but your body doesn’t always listen to sense. When it finds someone it likes...someone it thinks would be a good father or mother or wants to be the one to raise children with, then there’s no stopping the want. It’s hormones....a chemical your body makes when it’s physically ready to make children. Our bodies want children, you see? The gods designed us to want to have children to populate the world with. So sometimes, whether the time is right or not...those hormones curse us with want and make us do things...things that don’t always make sense.” She said all that with a suppressed groan, as if the act of saying it all aloud was physically painful. But she continued on like she’d had a duty to fulfill, no matter how unpleasant.
[Please don’t look at me like that, Tristepin, please don’t look at me with that hunger and intensity and sitting so close to me I can feel your breathing change and watch the muscled wall of your chest move...oh cra, help. I should have made him go talk to Ruel...please stop making me want you...]
Even in the midst of his shock he noted her loyalty to her commitment to teach him about these things, her dedication to finishing what she started, even when it was unpleasant. underneath the shock and flood of new information, he felt grateful and touched.
“So wanting to kiss someone...wanting to touch them and hold them and never leave their side and all that...that’s hormones? Our bodies controlling us?” He touched her hand then, and felt her shudder. “Don’t we get a say in the matter?” He hadn’t meant to but he was leaning over her, she had curled up against the grip he had on her waist and the weight on his arm was dragging him towards her...at least, that’s what he had decided to think....
He was trying, oh Iop, how he was trying not to think of what she’d said, trying not to think about it would feel to be inside her...moving around inside her...exploding inside her. The harder he tried not to the more he grew hot with want and need...and his body was starting to respond in a very physical way too. Only his sense of chivalry held back his dark lust...the dark lust that was whispering how he was stronger than her...bigger than her...and how she was already in his grasp. So easy to trap, so easy to pin down...to make her show him the things she had described....
but his sense of chivalry and his deep deep affection for her knew that if he crossed that line it would be disastrous to say the least. That if he gave in...he really would become the monster that lived in his soul.
He felt frightened of that voice. It was similar but not quite the same voice that whispered to him to pick up Rubilax...to unleash his anger and fear onto the world. and he hated it even more because he knew it was coming from himself and not Rubilax, as Rubilax was still tied up in the sheath Tristepin had left by the fire.
“We always can tell our bodies no.” She said, hoarsely. “but yeah, it’s often really hard...”
Curse it Eva, you just *had* to say it that way, didn’t you? said the part of Tristepin’s brain that was acting as a dam for the more primitive thoughts.
“No kidding.” He heard himself say out loud, much to his horror. A horror that immediately manifested itself in his expression. Fortunately, Evangelyne didn’t seem to have heard his dark mutter, and was deliberately avoiding looking at his face.

[Eva, you idiot, I can’t believe you just said ‘hard’! Don’t think about his penis, don’t think about his penis...gah! Don’t go looking at the spot! Oh...oh Cra...is that...is that what I hope it is?] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- AN: please let me know what you think. I'm worried that eva's explinations are sounding too clinical and distracting from the story; which is more about tristepin's reaction to the news....plus, laying the ground work so they can eventually get it on ^^ also i'd love some opinion on the male perspective in this piece, as it's my first time writing almost exclusively from the male POV. I'm having a difficult time with the next chapter, as i want to get into some sad/angst/emotional stuff, but am worried about the transition between this chapter and the emotional stuff. I'm planning on using the angst to get them to feel more vulnerable and open to one another so they feel more inclined to be intimate physically after being intimate emotionally. that, and i'm waiting to get the next chapter back from my beta-reader.
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The Dofus and the Cabbages