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Snuff Out a Thousand Suns	By : Evermist Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > AU/AR-Alternate Universe-Alternate Reality Views: 2893 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. I don't make money from this. My in-chapter disclaimer is much better than this one. Read that instead.

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“Zim? Zim. Hey, wake up, hm?”

The Irken grunted, blinking his eyes open at the sound of a soft voice. Dib stared down at him, and Zim hissed angrily. “What do you want now, filth-monkey?” He’d been the human’s prisoner for nearly three days now, and he’d been occupied enough with running various tests on the underdeveloped exoskeleton he’d taken the first day. It had been torture for Zim to be held so tightly on the table after that, and if it had been just a couple weeks later, it probably would have finished hardening after his molt the winter before, and held up much better against Dib; not to mention the fact that the skin below would have been more prepared to touch the outside world.

“I’ve got a present for you. You’ve seemed hungry the past couple days, so open wide.” The teen held a large forkful of something steamy up to the Irken’s mouth.

Zim sniffed at it for a moment, eyes narrowed in suspicion. “This is a Vort dog,” he murmured. “Where did you get it?”

Dib smirked, holding up a small tape player and pressing one of the buttons. “Funny,” he said over a scream of ‘I am ZIM!’, “how easy it is to fool voice-recognition software these days, isn’t it? I got them from your fridge. Now open up, and eat. I don’t want you starving to death.”

The alien clenched his jaw shut angrily.

“Not hungry?” Dib asked with a frown. Zim shook his head firmly, but was quickly betrayed by a grumbling sound from his squeedlyspooch. Dib grinned, placing the fork down on a plate full of the dogs, and pulled his little notebook out again. “You don’t show hunger easily, but that sounded a lot like a human’s stomach growling. Fascinating,” he mumbled, scribbling away in the book. “You sure you don’t want any, Zim? They don’t smell half bad.”

Zim stared silently at the ceiling, ignoring the questioning from the human and the burn that still plagued him from touching the table. How dare the human sneak into his home! Even if it was to get something he could eat, it was still unforgivable. And where had GIR been when the Dib broke in? Probably napping or making waffles, if he hadn’t been running around town with that filthy pig friend of his.

Dib shrugged, moving the plate to the little table. “Guess we get to do this on an empty stomach, then. Not my problem,” he said, lifting his scalpel and a small metal tray. “I think I’ve gotten whatever information I can out of that exoskeleton, so let’s get down to business.”

The alien squirmed a bit as Dib reached down with the scalpel towards his cheek. “You’ve already studied Zim’s skin! What do you hope to accomplish with that?!”

“I’ve been looking at your old skin,” Dib replied, peeling a small bit of flesh from the alien’s face. “I want to see how the structure differs from what you grew underneath that.” He gave a surprised look to the wound. Instead of the blue goo that had been under Zim’s outer skin, a reddish-purple liquid slowly ran out. Dib quickly grabbed a few microscope slides, catching some of the alien blood. “I’m just going to take some samples from you, then I’ll leave you be again, okay?” he assured the alien, reactivating the nanobots. Zim growled as he lost feeling everywhere but his head once more, glaring at the human. Dib lifted a syringe, drawing some more blood from his arm, then took his scalpel to the base of one of his fingers, cutting it clean off. He quickly placed a gauze pad against the wound, taping it into place. “I think that’s enough for the moment, Zim,” he said, turning the nanobots off again. The Irken hissed in pain as he felt the loss of his finger, trying once more to escape his restraints.

Dib went back to ignoring the alien, and instead turned his attention to the finger. He carefully peeled away the flesh and muscle tissue, so he could get a look at the bone structure. It was surprisingly similar to a human’s index finger, only a good inch longer.

The door to the basement suddenly opened, and Gaz’s voice carried down. “Dib! Get your ass up here before you miss the bus!”

“Just a sec!” Dib called back as the door slammed closed again. “Sorry to do this with no painkillers for you, but I don’t know what would happen if I numb your head, Zim,” the human said, hurriedly walking back to the Irken with his scalpel.

“My head? What are you doing, hyuman? Wha-ngyaaAAAAAAAAAAA!!” Zim shrieked as Dib cut into his right antennae at the base. There was a quiet crunching noise, and the appendage pulled away from his skull.

As soon as the antennae was loose, Dib crossed the room, setting it in some kind of plastic box, and closed the top of it. He typed some commands into a desktop computer sitting next to it, and a bit of light slipped out from the crack where it closed at. “Gotta go, Zim. See ya later!” he called, jogging up the stairs. Zim just laid completely still, fighting the urge to vomit from the painful throbbing in his head.

~-~-~

“What were you doing down there?” Gaz asked while Dib grabbed his book bag. “You’ve barely come out for three days. It’s been pretty cool.”

“Oh, just studying. I got something of Zim’s that’s keeping me busy.” He shrugged his bag onto one shoulder, glancing at Gaz trying to close her bulging black messenger bag. “Got enough stuff?”

“I’m staying over at Tess’s again tonight. She found a secret level in Vampire Piggy Hunter.” Gaz growled, kicking the bag. “Close, you stupid bitch!” Dib cocked an eyebrow at a pair of tiny, see-through, lacey purple panties that fell out, plopping down onto the floor. “What?” she snapped, stuffing the underwear back into place and forcing the bag shut.

“Ah, nothing,” Dib said rather awkwardly, opening the door and stepping out onto the sidewalk. “Just...wondering why you would need those to visit a friend, is all.”

“You have a problem with a girl trying to get laid, Dib?” Gaz asked irritably, shoving past him towards the bus.

“I thought you were going to Tess’s!” Dib said, feeling a bit sick at the thought of his sister being....intimate.

“I am.”

Dib stopped at that, trying and failing to process what she’d just said. “But...I thought you were dating Torque Smacky.”

“No, I was fucking him. There’s a difference. Dating is just stupid, and if you ever claim that I’m anyone’s girlfriend again, I will tear out your spleen and feed it to the neighbor’s dog.”

Dib blinked a few times, trying to think of anything more to say, and ultimately decided on just shaking his head and climbing onto the bus.

~-~-~

Several streets over from Dib’s house, a little green dog walked out of its house. GIR glanced around the yard, wondering where Zim was. It wasn’t like Master to be gone for so long! The robot knew there was something he’d been told to do if Zim was ever gone for more than two days, but couldn’t quite remember what it was. The Tallest? It had something to do with the Tallest.

GIR was suddenly snapped out of his wondering about Zim by a ringing bell. A man wearing a burrito on his head was walking slowly down the street,‭ pushing a cart and screaming‬. “Tacoooooos! Get yer tacooooooooooos! They’re beefy and deliciouuuuuuus! You’ll only get a liiiittle diarrhea from ‘em! TACOOOOOOS!!”

“TACO-MAN!!” GIR screeched, launching himself at the vehicle.

~-~-~

The next several days went by as a blur to Zim. Dib would cut away various bits of him and study them; gloat to the alien how he’d finally beaten him; test his reactions to various substances and environments; and anything else he thought of. He’d nearly killed the Irken when he turned off all the heating in the basement, and turning on the air conditioning. He had realized that the blue liquid held between the layers of Zim’s skins had similar properties to antifreeze, and had decided to test if that’s what it basically was. The human had been quite right about that, and almost lost his test subject that day.

Dib also seemed to be getting an absolute kick out of testing what he was learning simply by asking the alien if he was right and watching his reaction. Using this method, he’d managed to determine that Zim’s antennae acted as auditory devices and were used for balance; that his Pak could normally regenerate most body parts, but he had removed the part that controlled any growth; and that the Irkens’ social hierarchy was based entirely on height. The last bit he’d had an idea of, but hadn’t realized there was nothing else considered.

After a week, Dib finally seemed to lose some interest in the alien. He’d studied everything he could think of, except Zim’s reproductive system; but he was finding himself quite unable to learn anything about it. The Irken just didn’t seem to have anything at all down there. Even the ‘X’ mark had disappeared after molting. The human sighed, looking at the pale green alien. After the initial excitement over being able to beat and study and humiliate Zim, he had to admit that he was getting rather bored. The chase was over; there was no more challenge; and the boy hating coming to terms with the idea that Zim had brought so much enjoyment to his life. He sighed again, deciding to leave the alien alone for the night. He’d go watch some Mysterious Mysteries, and maybe come morning, he would be able to focus on Zim again.

~*~

Irken Round 5ZZR
Location: Devastis, The Training Planet
Southern Half, Basic Training Block, Food Court

“So then, Tenn said that she was ‘perfectly capable of getting past the mess herself’, and when she was walking away, she slipped in the goo, slammed into Skoodge, and knocked over a table full of beakers!” Zim exclaimed, biting into a large sandwich.

Flurn spat out a mouthful of nachos out onto the table, laughing and ignoring a glare thrown at the two by the table next to them. It was always good to hear about bad things happening to bitchy women. He elbowed Shtirk, who had simply smirked and gone back to his milkshake. “C’mon, Shtirk! That was funny; laugh!”

The older Irken rolled his eyes at the elbowing and continuing drinking his shake. “Yeah, yeah,” he muttered with a grin. “Gimme some of those.”

“Hey!” Flurn whined as a handful of his nachos were kidnapped and devoured rather messily. In retaliation, he reached across the table and stole some of Zim’s fries. This resulted in a brief, three-way food snatching battle, ending when a bracelet on Shtirk’s wrist starting beeping.

“Ah, crap; I’m gonna be late!” he groaned, standing up from the table. “Hate to leave you two alone, but I gotta go. See ya later; guys!” He picked up the remains of his lunch, dropped it in a trash can, and took off to class.

Zim and Flurn were quiet for a few moments after Shtirk left. After a couple of minutes, the taller of the two felt a foot rubbing gently against his leg, and glanced up. “Zim?”

“Hm?”

“Are you...touching my leg?”

“Perhaps,” the younger Invader-in-training said, sipping at Shtirk’s pilfered milkshake.

“You’re flirting with me again, aren’t you?” Flurn asked, blushing slightly.

Zim smirked, lowering his foot to rest gently on top of the other’s. “Flirting is a very common practice among other life forms. Nothing to get so embarrassed about, Flurn. Most people would simply return the favor..? I can teach you, if you don’t know how...”

Flurn blushed harder as he slipped his foot out from under Zim’s, and trailed it up the other’s leg.

“There we go,” Zim murmured, reaching across the table to place his fingers over Flurn’s. A snicker from the next table over caught his attention momentarily, and he frowned before whispering, “Why don’t we take this somewhere more private? Neither of us have any more classes today, and Shtirk shouldn’t be back to your guys’ room until tonight.”

~*~

I don‎’‏t own Invader Zim.‭ ‬This is obvious.‭ ‬If I were Mr.‭ ‬Vasquez,‭ ‬I‭’‬d be too busy vomiting out of every orifice on my body from the sheer thought of Zim having a sexual relationship with any of the other characters to be typing this right now.

And Zim’s got a boyfriend all those years ago, haha! Please review! I'm lazy and don't feel like typing out a proper author's note.

I want spaghetti.

Sweetchaos: He was originally going to be a lot worse; mainly because when I first thought of this fic, I was getting incredibly sick of all the lovey-dovey ZaDr around, so I toned him down some for the second writing. Good to know this was the right choice!
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Snuff Out a Thousand Suns