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Syndrome	By : Aureawolf Category: +S through Z > Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Views: 7801 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turles, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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I see Don’s foot flying at my head and I duck just in time to avoid getting a shiner. I feel his toes clip the top of one of my katanas.

I sweep his ankles out from under him, but he rolls away from my next punch, giving him the advantage to jump on my back, his arm wrapped around my neck.

“Give?” He says, trying to get a firm footing as I flail around, trying to free myself.

“Not quite,” I use my heavier body to roll forward, Donny coming with me since he’s still attached to me. He lets out a loud exhale as he lands on his back, me still in his grip on top of him. We struggle for another few seconds before we hear a scream from across the training room.

The sound of Mikey’s voice causes Donny to let me go, and I do the honorable thing and get off him. Our youngest brother is running around the training room, with Raph hot on his heels.

“LEO!! Make him stop!!”

Mikey dives between me and Donny, pulling us together in front of him like a pair of sliding doors. Raph skids to a stop and just growls. I don’t budge; knowing that if I do Raphael will take it as an invitation to continue pursuing his sparring partner.

“Why do I have to practice with Raph? I bruise easily!”

I carefully extract myself from Mikey, keeping an eye on Raph just in case. He seems to have calmed his temper. For now.

“We all train with each other, Mikey. It’s the only way to get better at defending different attack styles,” I rub his smooth head and he grins up at me. Then I turn to Raph, “And you, try and remember this is training. We don’t need someone to actually get hurt because of something stupid.”

As the word ‘stupid’ leaves my mouth, I feel the nearby presences of Donatello and Michelangelo retreat very quickly. This just happens to coincide with the narrowing of Raph’s red masked eyes.

Great. Just what I need to end my day.

“Uh, say Donny, didn’t you want to show me that thing with the…uh…thing?”

“Yeah, what he said!” Donny yells, gesturing at Mikey before the two turn tail and flee the training room. I think a couple of the candles by the door actually went out from the speed with which those two ran out of here.

“So, oh fearless one, you think I’m gonna do somethin’ stupid, huh?” Raph spread his hands wide, in his typical ‘I’m starting a fight now’ gesture. I’ve seen it before. More often than I would have liked. But at least I know to prepare myself.

“Well, what do you expect me to say, when you scare our little brother so much that he’s running away from you screaming bloody murder?” I’ll see your open armed fighting pose with an arms crossed lecture stance. Ha, take that Raphael.

The hothead snorts, but seems to be giving up. That was…quick. Too quick.

With a quick flick of his arm, he strikes me dead center in my chest and the force sends me back a few feet into the wall of the training area. It wasn’t a particularly hard hit, not enough to hurt, but it was meant to get me off guard.

Raph follows up the strike with his kiss. Our front teeth clack, before he seals my lips and his tongue intrudes while I choke out a gasp.

Ack. I’ve been blitz-kissed.

Our mouths aren’t exactly made for kissing, but Raph certainly makes a go of it. His wide tongue presses against mine, having slipped in while I was still surprised from his aggressive action. My hands find their way to his shoulder, holding him still. It feels like if I don’t he’ll end up pressing me straight through the wall.

As he finally lets up and pulls away from me, I realize we’re in the training room, which is currently lit, and the doors are still open to the living room. Anyone could walk in on us. And it’s not too late for Splinter to have one of his night tea cravings.

“Raph, cut it out. Not here, someone could see…” He has pressed his chest flat to mine, and is trailing his wet bites down my neck. I manage to push him off for a second, but like a magnet he comes right back, nipping and teasing the other side of my neck.

I’m not in denial. He’s driving me crazy and I know it. But I also know if someone walks in on us there’ll be hell to pay.

“Quit squirming, will ya?” He breathes against my collarbone, as he grabs my wrists and presses them against the cold stone wall. A shiver goes through me as I feel the cold wall and the heat of my brother’s hands at the same time.

“No, look, lets go to your room,” He presses one of his knees right along the inside of mine and starts pressing it outwards. I struggle to close my legs, but he has already gotten one knee in between them. The feeling of his kneepad drawing up along the inside of my thigh makes me jerk in his hold. “I said cut it out!”

My voice is loud enough to cause him to freeze and pull back, looking me in the eyes. If it were anyone but Raph I would call the look hurt. But this is my brother. So it’s more like a petulant child told that he can’t have a new toy.

“Guess you’re right, someone might see…” He lets me up and I thankfully pull away from the wall. But his knee stays pressed against my leg, and he doesn’t move any further away.

His hand runs along my side, slipping behind to coast up my shell. I don’t know if my brothers are like me, but my shell has always been a bit ticklish. Judging by Raph’s broad grin I’d have to say he knows exactly how sensitive that particular part of me is. And of course he loves making me squirm.

His hand reaches up to the back of my shoulder and grips one of my katanas, pulling it very slowly out of its sheath. He’s still looking at me though, with that stupid toothy grin.

Raph tightens his hold on my katana and swipes out to our side, cutting through the candles sitting there. They fall to the floor and the flames on their tips sputter out as they hit the damp stones. Then he moves just far enough away to slice down the candles on our other side as well.

There are two left lit, across the room by the door. I guess the whirlwind of Mikey and Don missed those.

I hear my sword clatter to the ground, before Raph holds a sai up in front of my face. Without looking he throws it over his shoulder, knocking over the bases of the two remaining lights, and plunging us into a barely lit gloom.

“You know, you’re not supposed to touch the candles to—“ Two blitz-kisses in one night. Raph must be feeling energetic.

This time he guides us to the floor, kicking my katana and throwing his other sai to the side. We’ve been together a few weeks now, and realized that weaponry tied to people does not make for good intimate moments.

Unless we intend to use them of course.

“You gonna keep that trap of yours shut now?”

Ah, my dear loving little brother. I reach out and grip his hips, bringing him down closer to me, then running my hands along the insides of his thighs. He loses his ever present grin and instead his eyes soften, and his mouth hangs loosely open. I can see his tongue from here.

Gripping his thighs tightly I push him up and we end up half kneeling and half sitting with each other, our legs tangled uncomfortably under us. But I press forward and slip my tongue in his mouth, startling him out of his daze. As he goes to seal the kiss, I pull away, and lick my lips, giving my brother a suggestive look.

He pushes me back to the ground, this time forcing his whole body between my legs, pressing up and trapping my wrists in his hands, gripping them firmly above my head.

This is how it goes. Doesn’t matter where we are, every arena is just a place for Raph and I to compete. If I try and lead us as a team, he has to challenge it. If I form a plan of attack, he has to disagree.

If I try and keep him under me when we’re having sex, he has to be on top. It’s very frustrating.

Lucky for him, I’m tired from our training. So I’ll let him have his fun. For now.

His hands leave mine, and roam across my plastron, letting the tips of his fingers just linger over my shell, brushing against the skin on my sides. I’m ticklish there too. Somehow I think Raphael will one day use this knowledge against me.

I wrap my hand up in my brother’s red bandana. Its funny, when we got our bandanas as kids, Raph used to fight with me over that too. He wanted the blue one. But I didn’t budge. Along with my choice of katanas, there have been few other times that I’ve been able to say ‘no’ to my brother.

Its ironic how attached he has become to the sais he originally cried and complained over being given.

Raph’s fingers dig in tightly to the juncture of my thighs and my groin. I make a very undignified meep sound.

Right, focus on the here and now. No getting distracted.

“So jumpy today, Leo?” He practically growl down from above me. I just smile and bring my hands up to play along his shoulders. He’s bulkier than any of the rest of us. The strongest, by far.

“Just lots of adrenaline left over I guess…” His fingers massage, right at the topmost part of my inner thigh. It’s so…infuriating. I rock back on my shell and press my hips up against Raph’s tough hands.

“Getting antsy are we?” That voice of his. That smirking tone of voice, teasing and frustrating and challenging and, and, well, other things.

Not good, losing my ability to think coherently. Keep it together Leonardo.

I feel Raph’s finger press up against the inside of my shell, scraping just a little bit with his fingernail.

Farewell coherent thought, I knew thee well.

My legs fall apart, and I know it probably looks horribly indecent, but right now I honestly couldn’t care less. Raph’s hand quits teasing me and reaches up just that extra bit, and grips me in his hand, pulling me out of my shell.

I wrap his bandana tighter around my fingers, until they start to hurt from where the soft fabric is wound too tight, trying to distract myself. Giving in to Raph will never be easy. Even here and now, I want to fight. I want to prove myself to him. But instead I let him lead.

He presses harder around me, pulling with soft slow strokes that practically make me say something. Stop, harder. I haven’t really decided yet but those two keep coming up again and again.

“Raph…” That’s not what I wanted to say. Luckily it’s a gruff exhale, barely distinguishable as his name. But he looks up, meeting my eyes even as his hand continues to pump and press, alternating and making my toes curl and clench, finding purchase along the shell of his back.

He stops, and I pause, hearing only my panting breath in the quiet of the training room. I try and stop it, try and calm my lungs, not wanting to make any unnecessary noise. Someone could still be awake.

“What’s wrong Leo, thought you were our ‘fearless leader’?” Raph says, making little quotes in the air as he leans back a little bit. I see him patting his belt, looking for something.

“I never…” My breathing still isn’t normal. I can keep from panting, that’s not difficult. but trying to talk and keep from gasping in huge breaths of air isn’t as simple. There just doesn’t seem to be enough breath in me to do both. “Called myself that.”

If he hears me, he doesn’t respond. But I see his fingers withdraw from the side of his belt, with a very small jug in his hand. He uncorks it, and pours the oil inside onto his fingers.

“Stole it from the cabinet upstairs…” He whispers out, before returning his hand between my legs, deeper and further then where it had gone before. I jerk up as his fingers brush against me, slick and warm, smeering and sliding along my skin.

“When did you start carrying oil around with you…” He finds my entrance quickly enough, and now I tighten my toes against the rim of his shell, and I release his bandana. I don’t want to accidentally wrench his neck with my pulling. His shoulders though, I should be fine using those to hang on to.

“Ease up Leo,” He presses a kiss to the side of my jaw, and I try to do like he says. I know it helps, but still when he presses that one finger against me I clench my eyes shut and snort heavily out of my nose, trying to relax. Relax. Relax. I just need to relax.

His free hand massages my inner thigh, but that just makes my hips buck and my whole body tighten up again.

Raph presses his finger further into me and I can’t keep myself from the small chocked sound that escapes. He stops, to my surprise.

“Your…fingers are too fat…” I say, smirking up at him with a challenge on my face. He hates when I call him fat.

He doesn’t move on though, but instead pulls very slowly out, his finger having barely gotten past the tip. I’m surprised when his hand grips me by the back of my neck and pulls me up till I’m sitting, eye to eye with him again.

“Then use yours. They’re smaller,” He presses the small jug into my hand. I shoot him a questioning glance, but he just meets it levelly, not flinching. The only thing betraying my brother’s arousal is the small up and down motions his shoulders make, as he also tries to keep from panting aloud. He leans forward and presses a wet open mouthed kiss against my throat, following it with a scrape of his teeth. “Plus,” he mutters against my skin, “You’re not half bad at it.”

I’ve never really been sure if I blush. I’ve never been near a mirror when I feel my face flush hot, but if I do blush, I’m probably a really interesting shade right now.

Raph doesn’t give compliments. Ever. So of course I have to savor and appreciate every one, even if it’s hushed and whispered, barely even there, and something I’ll never be able to brag about.

He pulls his legs under himself, his knees pointing out to the sides, as if he were about to meditate, or get scolded as was more likely in Raph’s case. He keeps watching me, waiting for me to get on with it; meanwhile his hands have snuck down between his own legs.

I think I just gulped. Yeah, I’m pretty sure what I just did qualifies as a gulp.

I lean back a bit, finding a comfortable position, and spread more oil over my fingers, pressing them quickly against myself, ready to get going. More so as I watch Raph free himself from within his shell and give his length a nice long stroke, the whole time smiling at me.

It’s at times like these that I realize that me and my brother are really not normal. And not for the most obvious reasons. Even at a time like this, his face just screams that this is a competition for him. He’s already in the lead, and he knows he won’t be letting up any time soon.

I know Raphael. I know it’s the power rushes that get him hard fastest. But its not only Raph that I know about. I know myself. It’s always been this way, ever since we were kids. I’ll try just about anything to make my little brother happy.

My fingers are smaller than Raphael’s, though not because he’s fat like I joke. He just bigger and stockier built than I am. Even though I’m a little taller. Though he’ll deny that fact to the day he dies. The tip of my finger is already inside myself, and I can hear a rhythmic grunting from Raph. I don’t look up at him. Too tempting.

This is better anyway. I will actually stop and slow down when I need to. Raph is many things, but patient is not one of them. Frankly, the fact that he hasn’t forced himself on me yet is a bit of a surprise.

I feel the slickness inside of me, as my finger meets less and less resistance and my own arousal starts to ebb. Though I know that won’t be for long. A second finger and I know I’m getting stretched more than I ever do when Raph is the one doing this.

My only warning is a slight scuffling of leathery feet against worn wood floors. Then Raph’s lips are on the inside of my knees, a warning in the guise of a kiss.

His hands pull my interrupted hand away and pins it to the side, as he replaces my fingers with little more than a slick sound of his skin against mine, and the clicking of our shells against one another.

A true ninja indeed.

He hisses through his teeth as he pushes into me slowly. My fingers scrabble on the floor. It’s harder to find a good grip here compared to his bed. Or mine.

But he holds me still enough with his weight as he braces against me, slowly pressing in, then out, always as quiet as he was when he started. Pillow talk isn’t in Raph’s repertoire, nor mine. We’ve said enough to each other over the course of our lives. Now’s not a time for idle chatter.

He finally presses into me fully and I thrust up to meet him. Have to match him. Have to keep up. Even if I am beneath him, it doesn’t mean he has all the control here.

After all, I’m still better than him.

All the way inside me and he hits a spot that takes my breath away. My foot kicks out and I smack my heel against his shell, but I don’t care. His fingers wrap around me again, secondary to the feeling of him hot and so very forceful inside me. Our pants and gasps are finally finding their place in all of this, even the best of ninja training failing us now.

His head dips down, and I know by now that this means he’s about to finish. His fisting speeds and tightens, and I feel a shudder run along my spine as my hips oscillate up and down, bringing him along with me.

There’s no loud shouts. No mumbling each other’s names. Raph is silent as his body slips down against mine, our plastrons clanking against each other as he slowly draws out of me and rolls over onto his back.

We’re sticky and gross, but sated for now. I undo one of my wrist wraps and use it to clean off the mess on my skin and shell, before reaching over and doing the same to Raph. He lets out a very un-Raphael sounding sigh of contentment, but there’s a sadness on his face I’m not used to seeing.

“Something wrong?” I ask as I stand on still wobbly legs, extending a hand to help my little brother up. He struggles a bit as well, but we’re still teenagers, we bounce right back.

More or less.

“Nothing…” He mutters, pulling my back against his chest as he embraces me for just a second, then letting me go slowly from his arms, as he heads over to the other side of the training room, collecting his sais. He hands me my katanas and I sheathe them as usual, but I don’t let his odd reactions go so easily.

“Raph, if something’s bugging you, you know you can tell me.”

Seems a bit of an overstatement, considering what we just did on the training room floor, to ask him to put his trust in me.

“Look, its nothing. It’s just…this is…” He struggles and is frustrated, I can see it in the way he clenches his hands, and nervously adjusts his bandana. He throws his hands up and takes a few steps. He stops at the door though. “You were gone for a long time Leo, and you’ve barely been back. How do ya know this’ll work? We’ve changed so much, you may not even know me anymore…”

I walk up to Raphael and put a hand on his shoulder. He reaches up and covers it with his own for a second. Then he slowly pulls away and walks through the door.

“I’m going to go rinse off real quick. I’ll call you when the shower’s free,” I see him nod at me and give me a quick wave over his shoulder, before plopping down on the floor in front of the tv, his back pressed against the couch.

He doesn’t do it to save the couch from attaining yet another stain along with its current mosaic of stains. Only Mikey seems to have mastered the ability of sitting on that off-balance monstrosity without falling off and breaking something. The rest of us have too much pride to even try anymore, when someone else is around to see us fall on our asses.

I open the door that leads from the living room of the lair down the short corridor to our very small bathroom. It squeaks a little and a flinch, pausing with baited breath to listen for any of the rest of the family to come by while I’m still quite literally a mess from what Raphael and I have just done. But I don’t hear anything and decide it would be better to leave it open a crack, so I can avoid the loud squeak on my way back.

The water is barely lukewarm, and being a reptile this is not a pleasant way to shower. My body is still hot from before, but the heat is being stripped from me by the cool water. At least I’m not sticky though. Another advantage of being a reptile is not having to deal with washing hair.

The rinse down took only five minutes, at most, and I step out of the stall and take a towel from the wall. It’s blue, of course. After drying off I tie my remaining wrist band on, and return my kneepads and elbow pads and mask to their usual places.

Feeling much steadier on my legs…and immensely less sticky, I head back to the lair.

Huh, someone is talking. I can hear two voices inside. Alright, so I’m a bit snoopy. I’ll admit it.

I love being a ninja. I creep up to the heavy door still sitting open a crack, and crouch nearby, leaning in just enough that I can clearly hear what’s going on.

It’s Mikey and Raph. And they’re pretty animated.

“I’m just saying dude—“ Mikey hisses, obviously trying to keep quiet and not attract any attention.

Fat chance. No one can argue with Raph and keep it quiet.

“I know what you’re saying! And I’m saying you better mind your own damn business. Back off, Mikey…” He snaps and growls at our youngest brother. I have to wonder what these two are arguing about.

It doesn’t sound like they’re going to need me to break it up, so it can’t hurt to listen a little longer.

“Hey man, he’s my brother too. Don may have bounced back pretty well, considering what you did to him, but Leo’ll crack. You know he will. I’ll mind my business, but if you hurt him like Donny…well, I can’t think of anything I could do to you right now, but it would be bad, alright?” Mikey’s voice moves around the lair and I ease farther back from the opening, catches a glimpse of him as he turns and goes up the main staircase

Mikey’s room is on the first floor. The only one down here. Guess he’s gone up to talk to Donatello. I can hear Raph muttering and cursing about what Mikey said as he sits on the couch, his head hanging down to rest on his hands.

I don’t even know what to think about what I heard. Raph did something to Donny. I run over all I’ve seen go on between the two of them since I’ve been home. But nothing. No threats, no fights, just the usual stuff.

Mikey sounded upset. Really upset. Far beyond just being frustrated by one of Raph’s usual temper tantrums. His voice was squeaky…that only happens when he’s really worried, or really mad.

Probably both.

I take a few silent steps back from the door, before walking through at a regular pace, letting the squeaky down swing open. The sound catches Raphael’s attention and he looks up at me, an expression I’ve rarely seen on his face shifting into something more neutral. Something less damning.

But it’s too late, and I’ve already heard the conversation. Add into that Mikey’s response, and Raph’s expression, I know something is going on between my brothers. And I need to find out.

I don’t know if it comes instinctually because I’m the eldest, or because I’m the leader of our little group, but I’ve always been protective of my brothers. I would do anything for them. And I would also go to any lengths to bring retribution for anyone who dares to hurt one of them.

I love Raphael. As a lover, and as one of my brothers. But if he’s hurt Donny…

“Shower’s free. I left you some hot water,” I say as I walk up and pat him on the arm, as if nothing is amiss. He nods at me, that slow silence still hanging about him.

He’s guilty. I don’t know the charge quite yet, but I know that much.

“Thanks Leo,” He says, standing up and brushing past me on his way back out the door I’d just come in. He pauses though, “Leo.”

I turn to the call of my name. He’s standing there, struggling. I can see it all across his face. If nothing else can be said about Raphael it’s this, he wears his heart on his sleeve. And his eyes. And just about everywhere else.

Stoicism thy name is not Raphael.

“Nothing. Never mind. We can talk about it tomorrow.”

With that he leaves, and as I hear him continue down the sewer pipe to our bathroom, I turn and hurry upstairs. Raph likes long showers, compared to the rest of us, but it still doesn’t give me very much time.

I reach Don’s door and hear voices inside. So that is where Mikey went. I knock on the door and the voices still into silence.

“Who is it?” Mikey calls out in a singsong voice.

“Leo,” I wait anxiously for a second before Don’s voice calls out that I can come in. There’s shuffling about inside.

I open Donny’s door and ease myself into the room. It’s cluttered across all sides, mounds of technology piled up and creeping towards the only clear spot in the room, the center where my brother’s desk is, and his futon lying close by. It’s as if his inventions are biding their time, staved off by the light on his computer desk, before they eventually attack.

I’ve never been much for science and technology, and sometimes, if I’m honest with myself, Donny’s room gives me the creeps.

“Sup Leo! So who won?” Mikey says, leaning on Donny’s desk. The brother I came to see sits in his swivel chair, picking at a small clump on wires.

“Huh?”

“You and Raph. He looked like he was totally gonna go at it with you when we left. So, did ya pummel him?” He grins maniacally.

“No, we just sparred a bit more.”

And had thoroughly enjoyable and tiring sex on the floor of the training room.

I clear my throat a bit to get their attention. It’s a bad habit I have.

“Mikey, I need to talk to Donny about something in private, okay?”

For the first time since I entered the room, Donatello looks at me. Then he looks to Mikey. Something passes between the two of them. Fear. Or maybe not that strong, but certainly hesitance.

So its true, Raphael really did do something. And they know it.

After a second of looking at each other, Mikey places his hand on Don’s shoulder. Donny covers the hand with his own and squeezes it, giving our youngest brother an almost imperceptible nod.

“Sure thing man. If you need me I’ll be watching TV till I pass out.”

He walks out with a quick wave of his hand, but leaves the door open a bit when he’s gone.

I walk over and close it firmly, before turning and approaching Donny. To my surprise, he beats me to the punch.

“Did Raph say something to you?”

His voice is quiet and resigned. He’s obviously been expecting this for a while.

God, what could Raphael have done to make Donny react to me like this? He’s looking at me like I’m his jailer, come to pronounce his sentence and lock him away.

And he’s resigned himself to my decision, I can see it in the level gaze he has. That’s what disturbs me the most.

“I overheard Mikey talking to Raphael.”

I wish he had another chair in here somewhere. Instead I shift between my left foot and my right, trying not to betray the anxiousness I feel.

“Look Leo, it was nothing really. It’s fine. I’m over it. Forgive and forget, right?” He says, a sad little smile on his face.

“No Donny. When I overheard them talking, Mikey sounded…well it sounded like Raph did something really bad to you. I want to know what happened. I want to help.”

He just stares at me with this totally flabbergasted expression. That’s weird.

“Wait just a second Leo. What exactly did you hear them say?”

How did I end up answering questions? This seems terribly backwards.

“Michelangelo was threatening Raph, that if he did to me whatever he did to you, that he’d make Raph sorry. I…I guess I really didn’t hear that much. But look, I need you to tell me what it was that Raphael did.”

Donny’s face slackens again, settling into that same blank expression as before. He just shakes his head and smirks sullenly, turning around in his chair to go back to his bundle of wires.

“It’s nothing Leo. Just drop it alright.” His voice is flat.

Something happened. I won’t just go without getting my answers.

“I will not ‘drop it’ Donatello,” I storm up to his desk and stand on the opposite side, glaring him down till he looks at me. “I’m in charge of this team, and as a leader I can’t have dissention in the ranks.”

I catch myself using my general voice, as Mikey calls it. I pull back and soften my voice, trying to calm myself and think of my brother’s well being.

“If Raph did something, I need to know. Especially if there’s a risk that he’ll do it again.”

Donny’s eyes flick away from mine. He’s acting strangely. Why won’t he just answer me?

“It doesn’t matter, okay? It happened while you were gone, it’s over now. No harm no foul,” He mutters under his breath, poking at the wires on his desk a little more fiercely than before.

“Just tell me what he did…” I hate that whiny tone in my voice that shows up when my brothers don’t listen to me when all I’m doing is trying to help.

His black eyes flick up to me, his bandana creasing as he glares at me, his eyebrow ridges drawing together. Maybe I’ll finally get an answer.

I see his hands clench and unclench. He’s really struggling with this.

“Come on Donny. I can’t help you if I don’t know,” I plead again, reaching out and putting my hand on my brother’s shoulder. He smacks it away.

Okay. That’s a little bit weird. I keep from reacting by punching him back. Any other time that would have been what we’d do. But I think that wouldn’t help my cause right about now.

“Fine Leo. But remember, I’m over it. Everyone has moved on and is fine,” He looks away again, a sneer on his lips, “Plus, none of it would have happened if you hadn’t been gone so long in the first place.”

“What?”

What does this have to do with me? I didn’t do anything to anyone. I’m just trying to make things better. Why can my brothers never just take that for what it is?

“Tell me, fearless leader, did the thought never occur to you that Raphael is rather good at what he does?” Donny stands up on his side of the desk, pressing his palms down and leaning in as he speaks in a harsh whisper.

I don’t follow. I open my mouth to ask what he means, but Don just shakes his head and I find the question chained up in my chest. It won’t come out.

“I’m only telling you this because you made me. And I guess, well, I guess it’s not right that Raphael didn’t tell you anyway,” He pauses a minute, making sure he has my full and complete attention. I can’t help but notice that the light from his desk shining up on his face casts shadows upwards, and makes him look harsher than usual.

Why can’t I speak? The words die before they even come out. I just stand, stuck perfectly still to the same place on the other side of the desk. I don’t even shift my weight from foot to foot like I’m accustomed to.

“Leo, you weren’t Raph’s first. I always knew that he loved you the most of us all, but somehow I though that maybe I’d found a way that I was better than you. A reason for Raph to prefer me over you. And he did…for a while.”

I don’t…I don’t want to know this. I want to take this back. Make it go away. Why? Why is he telling me this?

I changed my mind. Why didn’t I mind my own business?

“You came back, he left. He picked you over me. Not that it was a very big surprise. But look Leo, I’m over him alright. There’s no grudge or anything like that. I’d rather just forget about it.”

I feel like I might puke. He just dumped him like that? Because I came back. It’s my fault. Why is the cause of everything Raphael does have to be me?

I look up at Donatello, and see the defeated look in his eyes. He’s doing it again. Thinking he’s not as good as the rest of us. Me in particular. I hate that look.

My fist flies and crashes into Donny’s jaw, enough to send him to the floor out of surprise. His chair falls over and the dual crashes echo around us.

I can feel my arms shaking. Can feel my hand clenched at my side. My knuckles don’t hurt, but I can feel where I struck the blow. I didn’t hit too hard.

“What the hell was that for?” Donny yells up at me, rubbing at the corner of his mouth where a little bit of blood has dripped out. He spits the rest out of his mouth. His tooth must have cut him.

When he looks up at me though, his anger drains out of his face.

“Leo…”

I can’t move. I just…I just don’t. Don’t want to, can’t. I’m not sure which.

I feel Donny come up to me and wrap his arms around my shoulders. The hug is brief before he pulls back and wipes the tears that dripped down my mask. He doesn’t say anything about them. Doesn’t try and pull my head to his shoulder for a good cry.

We both know those are as many tears as there will be.

“Why didn’t you say something? Why did you let me take him from you?”

I’m proud that my voice manages not to crack. It’s hoarser than usual. But I don’t sound like I’m about to lose it. Hopefully that means I’m not about to.

“Come on Leo. It’s over. It doesn’t matter. Raph chose you. You’re who he wants. It’s not like I loved him or something.” He lets me go, but stands close.

I feel bad. His jaw is starting to puff up. It won’t be anything worse than what we’re used to, but still.

“If you had, would you have fought for him?”

Donatello just stands there, thinking. He seems to really be considering his answer. I hope he isn’t worried that I’ll punch him again.

“If I did love him, I probably would have. Which I guess is how I know I really don’t have any of those kinds of feelings for him, right?”

This time I pull my younger brother to me for a brief hug, still feeling like crap and needing some comfort. Donny pats my shell and pulls away, giving me a sad smile.

“Sorry you had to find out this way.”

“Sorry I punched you.”

He shrugs and grins a bit, and I feel a weight off of me. I still don’t know where I’m going to go from here. Raphael…I don’t know what to do with him. It’s so surreal, not half an hour ago we were on the training floor.

Now the thought makes me sick. Donny was with Raph even though he didn’t love him. It doesn’t take someone as smart as my brother to figure out that Raph must have started it all.

I pat my bro on the shoulder once, and he seems content with this parting. Picking his toppled chair back up and sitting down at his desk again. I cross his room in a few strides, but I stop when I hear him clear his throat.

I guess we all do that.

“If it were Mikey, I’d have fought…” He whispers quietly, before adjusting his light again and going back to his invention.

I nod and walk over to the door, opening it and hearing a loud yelp as soon as I do.

Mikey falls to my feet, landing with a thud and a groan. But what really surprises me is Raphael toppling over onto him shortly after. The two scramble guiltily and stand up. Mikey just grins at me sheepishly before his eyes flick between me and Raphael.

He quickly darts inside and over to Donatello, who gives him a patronizing smile.

Raph meanwhile, he just stands there. In the doorway. In my way.

I push past him and he grabs my wrist.

“Let go of my arm, Raph.” I pull away and he actually lets me.

“Leo—“

“No Raphael.” And I walk back down the stairs to my room. Closing the door swiftly and quietly behind me.

I step back a second later and lock it.

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Each chapter…getting longer. ~_~ I apologize for the smut. I know I’m not very good at writing sex scenes, so please forgive me. Hopefully you like the rest of the chapter…

So yeah, only one left now is Raphael. He gets to tie up the story. During exam time…er…might be a while before I finish this. But don’t worry, its coming. ^_^
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