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Kinetic	By : endofoblivion Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > AU/AR-Alternate Universe-Alternate Reality Views: 2200 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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AN: This ended up being ridiculously long but I promise you that in chapter 4 there will be a large amount of delightful filth. Keep your legs crossed my friends; it won’t be too long.

Kinetic Chapter 3: Clarity

The colours swelled and transformed in the bright hallways as walls became floors and ceilings arched into doors. The rainbow interior of Zim’s ship listened to the request of its owner and changed its insides at will. The ship had been a ‘gift’ from the mighty Irken Empire, built especially for him with the skills of a race that had been obliterated centuries ago. In civilised space, a ship like this would be the ultimate status symbol; for at its most simple, the ship was a giant psychic oscillator that could perform tasks as quickly as a living being could think them. However, Zim had it especially in mind not for prestige but because his obsession would never be able to use it. Humans didn’t have very established psychic abilities and even the most talented would never be able to manipulate a huge mechanism in as precise a manner needed to facilitate results.

He had created many additions. Especially since his latest acquisition of the human Dib who had so haunted his mind these past twelve years. Zim found it amusing that the lesser life forms that weren’t blessed with such an astronomical life span as the Irken race had the gall to think that time moved more quickly for him. Factually, every moment seemed three times as long. And with that consideration, even seconds of pain could stretch on to unbearable minutes, a few years of wandering aimlessly in space could seem like centuries and the longing for a certain tantalising individual would be amplified to a mind altering level. Insanity in an ordinary Irken would be kept to a minimum with their packs and hive mindsets, just as with most creatures in space that lived for very long periods of time. There was always something in place to keep their collective selves on task. Zim of course, had been a strange case to start out with, but when he was released from the regal embrace of the great and mighty Irken Empire something had undoubtedly snapped. His hideous appearance was testament to a darker and more loathsome time. A ‘throw back gene’ he’d heard it called. He didn’t really care to understand. Whatever it was, it made the things he did with Dib that much more pleasurable.

Zim had no concern about ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ or even a compromising middle ground. The only thing that existed in his awareness was his selfish need to control and dominate the world around him. Morality never concerned him much as an Irken Elite, but there was a certain status quo to be followed. Now in the blackness of space with no one to answer to but himself, his ferociously bizarre personality was left to congeal circumstance on its own accord. And that it did with obvious wild abandon. The monstrous things he did to the Dib human made him smile with fiendish glee. At the back of his mind he knew what would be the end result, under interstellar law the human body had to be altered or the individual would be deemed useless and destroyed. Since Dib’s destruction simply would not suffice, Zim had done what was required of him. Deep in his pitch black alien organs a desire lurked; never whispered by even his subconscious, he wanted the Dib to be bound to him in some fundamental way. Imprisonment was not enough; there was always the potential to escape. But if Zim could create an inescapable situation…it was clear. He would win. The game would close and, at its end, would enter a new age of glorious victory.

But things hadn’t always been so delectably sinister. Zim begrudgingly let his mind wander to that other time when he was alone, without a ‘show’ to put on to terrify his enemies and make weak those he wished to dominate. There had been a time when a respectful existence had almost seemed like the right path to take. Long, long ago on a little planet….called Blorth.

***

It was that fateful day when Zim stood on Blorth. The Armada ship had just left; they had tossed him out a few feet above the ground with very little ceremony.

“Have fun Zim!” they had giggled as the ship zoomed away.

Even then with his ultra warped sense of ego, he could tell things were not going well at all. This was Blorth, the planet where Irken who meant trouble to the Armada were sent to die. Horrible things happened on Blorth, you could hear the captains and mechanics whisper stories to each other on slow days. This was where monster Irkens roamed, genetic misfortunes or mistakes made by the smeet factories. Huge and hideous, they supposedly roamed the planet looking for less fortunate Irkens to mate with. The very word itself; mating, that is, caused him to shudder with fear uncontrollably.

It was without a doubt that this was an astronomically bad couple of days, even for Zim. His base was in tatters, his SIR unit had been scrapped and to top it all off, the pack had been ripped unceremoniously from his body. He did however take secret delight when the Tallest stood aghast with their mouths hanging open as he stood looking up at them.

“He….he didn’t die!” Purple said aghast.

“Ugh,” Red hung his head, “W1hat did you expect?! Send him to Blorth.”

With a wave of their claws he was picked up by two very stern looking guards and tossed into a ship and now here he was, cold and alone on a supposedly hellish planet.

Zim stood where he had landed and kicked the dirt a little. He didn’t really know what to do. His pack wasn’t there anymore to send him instructions. In fact, if the pack hadn’t been there a few years ago he probably would have just left Earth and all of its stupid inhabitants. As his mind chewed this new information it suddenly dawned on him that the entire time he spent there had been a bit of a joke to the Tallest. Transmissions and conversations played back in his mind. To his humiliation, the light had –finally- come on.

“They…they wanted me, the mighty ZIM, to FAIL!” he said astounded.

He had been sent there as an exile and when THAT hadn’t worked, here he was now, on Blorth, a sure-fire execution. A horrible sense of impending doom engulfed his Irken soul.

Zim fearfully clutched his small green head.

“If I were a hideous Irken beast, where would I be?” he whimpered furtively.

There was a shockingly loud crash behind him. What did he see come through the bushes but the very epitome of his nightmares. There were three of them, wildly drooling and shrieking. Their huge claws and sunken eyes assailed his senses with fear; he had to run, but didn’t know how.

“Just pretend it’s that idiot Dib,” he urged his mind. “And he’s got a set of stun cuffs. It’s only that big-headed, stupid Earthenoid, so RUN for Irks’ sake! RUN!!”

He managed to lift himself in time to barely miss a claw to the face.

“Filthy SCUM!! I am your SUPERIOR!!” Zim shrieked.

His admonitions were quickly cut off when another two crazed Irkens joined the quarry. They looked at him hungrily, their eyes floating around and tongues lolling in expectation. For the first time in his entire Irken life, Zim felt utter and total pant-soiling fear.

Zim’s mad dashes through the underbrush led him to the mouth of a swamp at the foot of a small mountain. He scrambled through the wet and onto the rock cliffs as quick as his small Irken body could carry him. Up ahead, a hollow log appeared buried into the rocks and it was in this he took his frantic refuge.

Hideous and distorted screaming faces clawed and maimed their way through. Each scrape brought them closer to him and each growl made it known of their intent to slay and slaughter. They were almost to him now and, as he clung to his head at the very bottom if his dank habitat, they stopped but mere inches from his skull. The cries were mournful and irritated for the rocks had just blocked them from digging the rest of the way. For a few hours they lurked just outside of the log hissing and pacing, their distorted faces charged with maddened bloodlust. Eventually, they thrashed off into the swamp to find more accessible prey.

Zim was quivering in the tiny hole, alone and scared. Even in the blackest most unforgiving wormholes in space he had never felt so frightened. He had nothing to defend himself with except his Invader Suit and a simple log he had kept hidden from his person when the guards had shaken him down. This wasn’t the silly game of tag that he had played with the simple minded Earthenoid, Dib, this was actual survival. And when Zim thought about it, it was something he was completely unfamiliar with. He had always had something- technology or other Invaders and, in his extreme case on Earth, a bunch of nit witted imbeciles to exploit. This was in another realm completely.
As he cowered in his small, almost decimated log watching the sun go down, he realised that it was the first time he had ever been truly alone. Hours came and went with myopic intensity.

“Hey you,” the voice roused him from his thoughts.

How much time had passed? It was deep in the night now as Zim had been too terrified to move.

“That’s it, you can come on out now. I’m Glim, an Irken just like you. And not one of the crazy ones,” she smiled at him extending her hand.

He took it gingerly as she helped him out of his confinement.

“You’ll die in there if you stay here for much longer. Those Blorthiens don’t give up,” she sighed while clucking irritably. “What’s your name, soldier? I see you’re wearing the uniform of an Invader. So what did you do? Blow up a planet? Annoy the Tallest? Forget to refill their soda pop containers?”

When Zim had felt a little more stable on his feet he quickly brushed off his uniform and regained his air of superiority.

“Nooo, of course not! What I did was….was….was…an act of tactical GENUIS,” he proclaimed. “I am ZIM, conquerer of Earth! And if you know how to get off of this wretched filthy planet, then direct me to it! I have important work to do,” he gestured wildly.

Glim stared at him for a minute and then started to laugh, “You think…ha ha! You think that if I actually knew a way off of this…*snerk* horrible planet, I’d still be here?! Oh, Zim, you’re either an idiot or a comedic genius. Come on, let’s go back to my cave. We’ll get you cleaned up.”

Zim blinked up at her for a few minutes, not entirely sure if he was being insulted in a round about way or not, but followed her for lack of better options despite it.

As they were walking Zim scoffed.

“So what exactly did –you- do, then, to deserve exile?” he asked snootily.

“Oh, little ol’ me? Ha ha!” she tittered, giggling. “I was an elite guard that just happened to assassinate one of the next Tallest in line.”

Zim’s eyes popped open. “Really? You know, I always wanted to do that. To them and their stupid superiority complexes,” he grumbled, “thinking that they’re better then me, ZIM, an Invader of other planets! Grr…argh…gragh…” And he muttered for quite some time fisting the air around him in irritation.

Glim chuckled, “well it was over something a little more serious then that. But I didn’t regret it one bit. Although I must say, ending up here was not on my to-do list by any stretch of the imagination.”

Zim stared at her for a long moment, “Hey, wait a minute, I’m positive that you’re definitely taller then any of the Tallest!”

She grinned, “Well, duh. Of course I am –now- that’s because Irkens grow when their packs are taken off. Don’t you get it? We were assigned jobs with these things; we’re given directions through them. Here, I’ll put it simply: they’re like little controller brains that tell our bodies everything. Although, I can tell right away that if you’re yammering off like that about the Tallest, yours was obviously faulty.”

“FAULTY?!” Zim screeched.

“Don’t worry about it Zim, you might end up taller than me because of it,” she said enthusiastically. “Wouldn’t that be cool? You could end up taller then the Tallest!”

Zim thought for a moment, “That does sound rather appealing. Then my incredible GENIUS will be matched by my engorging height!” he cackled loudly.

Glim shook her head, “Anyone ever tell you you’re a megalomaniac?”

“Huh?” Zim uttered cluelessly, totally engrossed in his fantasies of monstrous Tallest-rivalling height.

“Never mind,” she sighed, shaking her head.

The cave was on a large hill. Zim curiously noted that it was surrounded by a circle of ash, wood and tinder.

“It’s firewood to keep the Blorthiens out,” Glim remarked.

She sat him down at the very back, where the obvious living quarters were. There was a straw bed, a bunch of pottery, some items that looked like they came from other ships and a bunch of bottles and jars with labels similar to old Irken medicine. Zim recognised them from the basic mandatory Invader survival course he had taken. There was a small fire pit towards the middle of the area and some pots and other dishware lying around it. There were no shelves, so things were just in organised piles.

Glim leaned down towards the bottles and grabbed a few. “Zim, you’re going to have to take off your shirt. We need to check on those empty ports on your back.”

Zim bristled. “My ports are FINE. I don’t need PRODDING and POKING!”

Glim sighed. “Do you want to grow tall or not? If they’re infected, you can die. Let me see them, ok? It won’t take long.”

Zim grumbled but relented. His red Invader uniform came off and he sat on a small stone while Glim took a look at his back.

She fussed for a moment. “Geez, just as I thought. There’s an infection. Well, lucky for you, I still have some dressing and bandages from the last ship that was crashed here.”

Zim winced as she poked at his port openings, “…ships come here?”

“No, silly,” she said using a pointed stick to poke his skin and draw out the puss. “The Tallest dump useless ships here. They crash them, of course, to make them unusable but they’re usually still pretty well outfitted. A few hours from here there’s a virtual ship graveyard. Unfortunately, they take just about everything that could be of any use to us and incinerate it. But there’s lots of basic medical supplies and stuff like that,” she said as she sat back, wiping her hands on a cloth.

“Aside from that, the only ships coming here are to drop people like us off,” she finished by bandaging his back with considerable skill. “There you go. That should heal in a few days.”

Zim looked around furtively, “those…things aren’t going to be able to get in here?”

“That’s what the fire around the circumference is for,” she said, matter of factly. “Not that we need it too often; they have weird rituals up on the mountain at night.” She pointed to the cave opening that gave a direct view to an obvious hillside.

Zim shuddered, “What are they?”

Glim shrugged, “from what I can gather from old reports and Irken history is that they’re a distortion of one of the two races that make up modern Irkens. A really, really long time ago, there were two different kinds, and they interbred to create us. I guess during our industrialisation and when the controller brains were created, our genes got all messed up. Some Irkens just die when their packs are removed, others become crazy and end up like them and some of the lucky ones end up like us.”

Glim handed some fresh clothes to her new charge. “Here. They aren’t quite your size, but if my stay here was any indication, you’ll grow into them soon.”

Zim snatched them from her outstretched hand. His stay? Here? Ha! Zim would have laughed if he hadn’t been so tired from all the running and hiding. He would find a way to get off of this stinking planet, conquer Earth, and then have his revenge on the Tallest! He wouldn’t let them get away with tossing aside the amazing Invader Zim! But right now, as an Invader, he needed to rest. He didn’t know why but his eyes were drooping; it was a weird sensation unlike anything he’d felt in his long Irken life.

Zim yawned and Glim grinned at him, “Go ahead and take a rest on the bed. Tomorrow we can get you a corner set up. Go on, don’t be shy.”

“Invader’s don’t SLEEP,” Zim spat.

“Sure, hon, but remember you’re not on Irk anymore,” Glim giggled.

Her words had barely reached his ears before Zim had completely passed out on the bed.

***

It was morning and Glim was showing Zim how to gather wood and make a fire with the tinder.

“Why can’t we just use lasers?!” he grumbled, frustrated.

“Zim, you’re hopeless,” she said laughing. “How did you ever pass Invader training? I thought they taught all you new recruits stuff like this.”

“No!” he growled throwing the wood in irritation. “We had equipment and lasers and a whole BASE! We weren’t just stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing! Arrrg! Grr! Raaargh!” and he thoroughly abused the air around him, showing his marked displeasure.

“As glad as I am to have someone to talk to, you’re a real pain sometimes,” Glim said, sighing.

Zim suddenly let out a small squeak of fear.

“What’s wrong?” Glim said whipping her head around.

Zim was facing away from her but she could still tell that he was trembling slightly.

“Zim…tell me!” she demanded fearfully.

When she looked over his shoulder, the sight caused her to gasp.

“Your…digits!” she said, gently touching the strange, distorted hands.

They had become long, black, and pointed like claws.

“They’re bleeding,” Glim said nervously. “Let’s get some bandages. Ugh, oh that’s really grossing me out!” She clutched her hand over her mouth. “They came right through the skin!”

“YES!! AMAZING!!” screamed Zim sarcastically. “Get the bandages, NOW! It hurts with the power of a terrible HURTING THING!”

They spent several hours wrapping bandages around the wounds, but ran into a lot of trouble because of the sharp nature of the claws. For once, Zim wasn’t saying much of anything, aside from small noises he made as the cloth was wrapped around the painful looking fissures on his skin.

“You kind of look like a Blorthien with hands like that,” Glim said laughing nervously. “Luckily, though, you don’t seem crazy. Er…well, crazier then you already are, at least.”

She finished wrapping his hands and looked at her work. The bandages weren’t sticking well and some liquid was seeping out of the wounds.

“Well…to be honest, that’s the best I can do. Are you in any pain?” she asked wincing.

“Yes, horrible, terrible, GUT WRENCHING agony! But I’ll be fine! I am, after all, an Invade- AAGH, ARRG, OH, SWEET IRK!!” Zim thrashed and spazzed on the ground while Glim tried really hard to not laugh.

“I’ve got some medication for that,” she said snickering.

It was in the months that followed that Glim would point out each one of Zim’s strange transmutations. Fear always came over her features when some new spike or ridge would suddenly appear across his face or some other exposed parts of his body. He was also growing at a ridiculously rapid rate; which of course, delighted Zim to no end, although he wished that the strange flip-flop in his stomach that appeared whenever Glim was afraid would disappear. Invaders were supposed to like it when they inspired fear in people, other Irkens or not. But he couldn’t shake the strange feeling of comradery that they shared, despite his best efforts. Zim constantly reminded himself that it was only because they were both stuck on the same wretched planet.

***

One night, Glim was tending a small fire and roasting some strange Blorth animal in a pot for their barely palatable food. She was looking at the flames in such a way that they reflected in her dark red eyes and danced at the corners of her lashes. Zim thought for a moment that she was really quite a pleasant looking Irken female specimen.

“Zim,” she said startling him out of his observations, “do you miss anybody?”

“Huh?” he said in a deadened tone. “Invaders don’t have companions.”

“No, I mean…well not like that. I’m talking about things other than friends.”

Zim blinked. He really didn’t know what Glim was talking about. Wait…he did spend an awful lot of time thinking about that Earthenoid Dib.

“This stinky, human, wormbaby on planet Earth used to ruin all of my beautiful plans,” Zim sighed wistfully. “I thought I’d be glad, never having to deal with his stupid big-headed self again! But…” he cocked his head to the side, “maybe I miss it, kinda. The challenge...” He coughed nervously into his bandaged hand not quite sure what had come over himself.

“So what would you do if you had the chance to go back to Earth and see this uh…humanoid again?” Glim asked inquisitively.

“Ooo, that Dib!” Zim hissed viciously. “I’d show him who the superior species is once and for all! And then I’d take him to my lab and then, I’d do….stuff! Oh the stuff I would do!” He wiggled his fingers dramatically.

Glim burst out laughing, “Well, here’s hoping we both get off this wretched, nasty planet and get to see this Earth of yours. If you’re lucky, the assassin that killed the second in line to the Tallest will give you a hand conquering it!”

“I am ZIM! I don’t NEED help!” He squealed.

Glim laughed uproariously, “Sure, Zim, whatever you say!”

Maybe a few years had passed, perhaps more; one couldn’t be sure since the planet was in a perpetual state of summer. Zim now had to duck out of the cave to get outside. His legs had bent and twisted themselves painfully into an odd insectile trajectory, his spikes and claws and fierce looking eyes made his visage that of a true monster but nothing mattered to him aside from the immense height his body had acquired. It had happened a little too quickly, however, and he had been using intense injections garnered from abandoned ships to keep the pain and swelling of his muscles down. On some days, it had been so agonising that he wasn’t able to move. Glim had feared for his life on more then one occasion and had started looking for information on his strange condition. It was unlike anything she had seen before. He had no mirrors or reflective surfaces to stare into but he knew from her frantic descriptions that he was a true site to behold.

One day she had presented him with a vague answer. “You’ve got the throw back gene. I read about it in some history manuals on that last ship. You have the throw- back gene that belongs to that other half of Irken ancestors. I think we can use it to our advantage. You know the older Irken race that your genetics came from was almost completely diluted, but somehow you slipped through. The controller brains usually kill people like you, but you survived! I’m so happy…that gene will give you amazing abilities, with them, we can probably escape!” Her eyes had shone so excitedly at that last statement. They could get off the stinking planet! The feelings he had felt then were indescribable; they could escape together and be free! Maybe Glim would come to Earth with him, but even if she didn’t, he had an assassin as an ally and it was obvious by now that their loyalty was indisputable. Friends were all right if they could benefit you in such a dramatic fashion, he had concluded hesitantly.

“So what’ll you do when we finally get off this place?” she had asked, a shimmer in her large red eyes.

“Eh? Take over Earth,” Zim said nonchalantly.

“I figured. You’re obsessed with that planet and that Dib person you know?” she giggled, “In fact, if you didn’t see him as an enemy, I’d almost say you had a crush on him.”

Zim looked at her oddly. “Crush? Well, I suppose I would like to squish him until his innards become goo…yesss….” He tittered in his hissing voice.

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Glim said, waving her hand exasperatedly. “You just don’t get it.”

“Get what?” he grumbled.

“Never mind,” she said smiling. She had been thinking about plans for Zim on her own terms and this Dib person was making her worry. But if Zim was in the dark about it…well it didn’t bother her one bit.

They watched the fire for a while and then went to sleep on the same straw bed. Everything was quiet; their plan was working and Zim slept with a great feeling of contentment hitherto inexperienced in his miserable existence. He was almost…happy. Almost. But like so much Blorthien dirt slipping through his fingers, it was not to last.

***

It was a dreary and dark day that he crashed through the woods around their cave. There had been firewood to gather and plant life to mangle- all supplies for their potential, immensely planned escape. He kept his eye out for Blorthiens, not that they approached him; they seemed quite afraid whenever he was nearby. Later today there would be a ship and he would enact their plans to capture it. Everything as far as he was concerned was going well. He tramped through the brush with a great deal of confidence. Everything stepped out of his way- animals fled and shrieks and scurrying could be heard as the Blorthiens ran before he could even see them in the heather. Everyone was terrified of him and it made him swell with satisfaction. He was Zim! The mightiest of Irken Invaders, taller than the tallest! Awesomely intimidating! Mind numbingly intelligent!

But he stopped dead in his tracks when he heard the strange sounds behind him. They were laughing in the distance, a cruel cold heartless sound. He hated it when the Blorthiens laughed, it usually meant they had raped and slaughtered some other poor victim eschweded on this horrible planet. His claws twitched nervously, this was no good. The sounds were far too close; he would get back to Glim and make sure everything was ok. A strange sensation came over him, his breath came faster and some instincts in the very basis of his spine took over and told him something very wrong had just happened. He was rushing and creeping through the forest madly, like a lithe and deadly insect scurrying on towards the inevitable sight that would burn itself into his mind forever.

There on the ground, laid out face up, was Glim. Her eyes were wide open and she wasn’t breathing. He could smell the scent of death wafting towards his heightened olfactories, there was no question that she was no longer alive. Zim crept up to the corpse and looked down at her face; it was a horrible visage of terror and pain. A black tar like substance was covering her lower body, he knew what it was before further inspection; they had done the unspeakable to her. When he lifted up her back he realised she had almost been clawed in half by their frantic workings, the organs even fell out with a plop onto the cold dirt and he watched, entranced, as they quivered wetly on the ground.

It was like a switch had been suddenly turned on. His eyes sunk deeper back into his head and a dark and loathsome thing crawled onto his features. If any of the Blorthiens had witnessed this transformation, they would surely have warned their fellows and ran screaming with them into the night. But they did not and, as fires began to burn on the hillsides, Zim observed them quietly, claws clicking.

The Blorthiens’ strange rituals involved large orgies, fresh Irkens, and a lot of blood. The Irkens that had been dropped off recently were cowering in a corner, already abused and mutilated to the point that they wished for death above all else. However, when they saw the hideous monster burst through the underbrush and claw one Blorthien in half, the less wounded took the time to scatter, shrieking into the depths of the forest. However, Zim had little mercy for anyone Irken or otherwise and has his raking claws and hissing clenched teeth forced fear and death onto anything that came into his path. The wounded Irkens were dead along with every Blorthien that came near.

Something black and dark slithered into his vision, he had no control. He just wanted to taste death over and over. Loathsome, vile destruction was welling up into his veins and burning into his twisted limbs like poisoned magma. His legs crackled and arms stretched further, the bones began to expose themselves from his flesh and harden, the spines grew bigger and sharpened into meaner points. He had transformed from being into beast and could hold no memories any longer. The rest of his slaughter was a blood soaked blur. He did not know that, in the end, he would kill every last Blorthien on the planet.

“Zim! Listen to REASON!! We’ll give you anything you want! Anything at all!” Tallest Red said in desperation.

Almighty Tallest Purple was cowering behind a stack of shredded conduits, “Anything!” he emphasised in fear and desperation.

A glimmer of intelligence had entered into Zim’s tortured mind upon procurement of the escape ship. He could focus now with intense hatred on the very source of his misery.

Zim narrowed his eyes coldly, “Zim….WANTS NONE OF YOUR FILTHY LIES!!!!”

As he was about to disable the Armada further in a hail of laser fire, Almighty Tallest Red ran to the front of the view screen. He had remembered something…something really important that might just stop the insane ex-invader from ripping their heads out of their suits if he played his cards right.

“ZIM WAIT!! What about Earth?!” Red pleaded.

They waited with baited breath along with the rest of the badly damaged Irken empire. Zim’s twisted visage stared back at them, teeth bared and then, just barely for a moment, it changed to something pensive.

“Earth” he mumbled to himself.

It was like the final heavy fog had been lifted.

Red gasped for breath momentarily. “It was slated for destruction a week ago before you came. They’re probably starting now, Zim. You can go on in and take the rest of it over yourself if you want! Please Zim, just stop destroying everything in sight!” begged Red.

“Eh?! Destruction?!” Zim said, rasping, “But I’ve got to go there to get…it’s really important! Arrrg! Stupid TALLEST! I’ll forgo your destruction just this once but I expect some hefty favours when I return. The mighty Zim will not be pushed aside for lesser Invaders AGAIN!”

Purple nodded furiously while still deeply entrenched in his hiding spot as Red’s shoulders slumped in relief. The comm. screen went static.

“Red, you’re a genius,” whimpered Purple.

Red slapped his hand to his forehead, “I’m just sorry I didn’t think of it before. He’s gone completely crazy. But not like…Blorthien crazy,” they both shuddered. “It’s like he finally gained some horrible focus.”

They looked on towards the decimated armada and simultaneously cringed.

“Why don’t we just kill him now while he’s distracted?” asked Purple.

“Because,” said Red, “I’m not sure if he can be killed by the fire power we’ve got left and if we give him whatever he wants, he might actually listen to us for a change. You’ve gotta admit,” he gestured to the horrible decimation on the screen, “he’s always had a knack for blowing things up.”

“Yeah,” said Purple, “but now he’s actually competent at everything else.”

“That’s what I mean,” nodded Red, “if we have something like that on our side…we might not have to worry about those uprisings among the Screwheads anymore.”

“That’s not a bad deal,” Purple mused. “We get him whatever no-doubt ridiculous equipment his insane heart desires and then we put him to work.”

“Yup,” said Red cheerfully. “Now you! Communication operator number 57185, get me another soda!”

The comm. operator stopped in mid stride. “YES MY TALLEST!” it saluted, and ran off.

“It sure is great being Tallest, isn’t it,” said Red staring out at the destruction.

“Mmm-hmm,” Purple agreed, nodding his head.

To the Tallests’ surprise, Zim did not actually destroy the entire lesser armada that was obliterating Earth. He took one specific humanoid and gave orders that a certain few be picked up by the Genetic Federation for their uses. They were among the lucky millions of Earthenoids rescued before the Earth was unceremoniously blown up. Whether Zim thought that rescuing his classmates and virtually dooming them and their descendants to perpetual slavery was better than facing oblivion was up for debate. None the less, it was these smaller demands the Irken Empire was thankful for. The bigger demands were much more difficult to take care of in a timely fashion. The Irken vessel Zim had used was pitifully out of date for his needs, he requested an ancient almost forgotten technology in his new ship, which took months to complete. It was fully outfitted in every capacity with many rooms and the utmost highest technology available. It was with these advanced capabilities that he was able to fully restore his badly wounded human. As penance for wounding the human he had set out to capture in the first place (not that the armada would have known under any circumstance regardless) he demanded compensation by allowing the freedom of a very vicious race of space arachnid. These creatures lived on a virtually inhospitable planet and had very small numbers made less by the fact that they were treated with great revision by the Empire. Zim had taken a great shine to their indestructible bodies and fascinating abilities, perhaps harbouring a kinship to their twisted forms and through his demands had garnered them a large number of humans, restored rights, and fresh technology. They were indebted to him and he knew it, having chosen them specifically for their viciousness, skills, and intelligence. He now had allies throughout space in the form of a most feared and powerful creature, who now hailed him as a saviour that provided them the greatest capability in the universe. Before, they had only been able to create one child every thousand years but now, with humans in their possession, their numbers could be exponentially expanded. Zim was effectively worshipped as a modern incarnation of their ancient Gods.

With allies in hand he had settled in at the deepest edge of space to scheme about his next move. Things were so easy to him, so benign. But he had the Dib in the palm of his hand- weak, alone and virtually defenceless. And it was with that dark and pitiless thought that he awoke in his dark chamber with a smile on his face. He would gain the Dib’s trust and then snatch it away. Play games with his pitiful human feelings and harm the simple-minded creature’s heart until there would be no will to resist his blunt coital meanderings. The Dib would belong to him and him alone. And he knew that a victory like that would be the most delicious victory of all.

Forget conquering a miniscule planet; he would conquer the human soul and ceaselessly devour its contents until there was nothing left. With a cruel laugh, he gloated at his sure future victory.
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Kinetic