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The Happy Smiley Dib Show!	By : V021 Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > AU/AR-Alternate Universe-Alternate Reality Views: 2643 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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I'm skipping the usual witty intro and giving you the fic-age. Oh, and Velchan, your refund will arrive shortly.
Chapter 3: I’ve Tasted Blood And I Want More...
Krung and his merry crew of juvenile delinquents were engaged in their usual morning routine of smoking out behind the Skool, discussing how best to express the impassioned depths of their teenaged angst to the cold unfeeling establishment. While they laughed cheerily about Nark’s inspired idea to spray-paint Mr. Garrison neon pink, a ratty El Camino came sputtering up the bus-loading ramp. Catching sight of the tarp-covered bulge weighing down its backend, Krung smiled nicotine stained grin. They had descended upon the El Camino before the odd driver even had a chance to cut the engine.
“Well, well… If it ain’t the Scrawny Green Faggot!” sneered the thug as he loomed over Zim. “What you got there, faggot?”
Zim growled and glared his good eye at the monkey, but didn’t answer.
“Dude, look at this fucker’s face!” one of the goons pointed. “It’s all bandaged up and shit!”
“Whoa! And he’s even uglier without the wig!” quipped another.
Ignoring the gawking gang, Zim slammed the door shut and started to move around to the back.
“Hey, faggot! I asked you a question!” Krung snarled, shoving him up against the car.
Zim effortlessly knocked Krung into one of the hapless vehicle of one Peabody McPoodles, aged chemistry teacher, a good 30 yards away. The other thugs stared at their now unconscious leader then back to the tall but anorexically skinny freak in silent shock before lunging for Zim. It wasn’t like he could take them all at once, right?
When the dust finally settled, Zim stood with his arms crossed as he appraised the damage. Those miserable punks he’d thrown through various pieces of car and pavement were absolutely pathetic! He’d seen smeets that fought harder than this trash. It made him wonder why he hadn’t attempted this years ago, and it was then that Zim finally understood just how woefully defenseless the other humans were without their precious Dib, even before the bastard had become their hero. Did they know that it was only because the fool boy had been constantly there to distract him that kept Zim from unleashing his MIGHTY WRATH upon their stinking heads? Were they too busy weeping for their fallen idol to recognize the danger or did they ever really give a damn about Dib? Could any these foul monkeys even appreciate the effort he’d put into devising their imminent destruction the way that bigheaded maggot child could? Would he ever again meet an adversary that’d admire the awe-inspiring GENIUS of Zim!
“Genius?” sneered the Other. “You came up with this plan five minutes ago!”
Zim snapped around and glared at his double as it perched on top of the tarp-covered pile. “You…”
“Will you get on with it? We’ve got things to do…” It grinned and ran a claw under its throat.
Giving his doppelganger the Irken equivalent of The Finger, Zim grabbed the tarp and whipped it off to expose a huge box festooned with a variety of tubes and wires. He pulled open the side and, fiddling a moment with the remote control, activated the robots. They scuttled past him in wave after shining wave ultra-tech death and headed for their destinations under Zim broadening smile.
“Ooh… Very pretty.” The Other cooed, leaning over his shoulder. “But this plan’s doomed to fail.”
“Go away.” Zim hissed quietly.
The Other warped its arm around his shoulders. “Your plans always end in failure.”
“This one won’t!”
“Then it’s going to blow up in your face.”
“I told you to go away!” he snapped, twisting around to face the Other but finding only empty air. Shrugging it off, Zim went back to watching as the last of his bombers vanished into the Skool. He let out a sigh of relief when the controller acknowledged that all the bombs where in place. Quickly disposing of the box in a handy dumpster, he hopped back into the El Camino and drove a safe distance before setting the detonator for two minutes after the lunch bell. Then, and only then, did Zim allow himself a triumphant laugh.
“Celebrating a little early, aren’t we?” the Other rasped at him from the passenger seat.
Zim ground his teeth as he pulled over and jumped out of the car. He didn’t bother looking back as he stomped off down the street. For a few minutes, he basked in the wonderful buzz of the blissfully doomed city as humans brushed past too consumed with their petty lives to notice the alien brazenly walking in their midst. He was so happy that a plan was finally going smoothly that he didn’t notice the crowd thinning out to the point where Zim was left utterly alone down a dead-end alley.
“Eh?” He blinked dumbly at the grimy wall before him.
Somewhere in the distance, a clock grimly toiled noon.
Zim was about to back out of there when a chain of massive explosions rented the silence.
“Ah,” he purred, savoring the distant FWOOMP!’s. “The sweet sound of victory.”
He turned to leave but ended up slamming into the Other. Jumping back, Zim rankled in anger then relaxed into a smug grin.
“Did you hear that? My plan’s a success! A magnificent SUCCESS!” he screamed, pumping his fists in the air.
The Other merely chuckled.
Stifling his growing uneasiness, Zim turned his ‘nose’ up at his wretched double and marched out of the alley. Now that he’d dealt with those filthy classmates and Skool, he was free to pack up some nasty weapons into the Voot and go give the Tallests a piece of his mind.
“Hi ya’, buddy!” Keef chirped as he popped up from out of nowhere, dashing the beautiful images of gore spattered vengeance which were dancing in Zim’s head.
“Keef! What are you doing here!” came the shriek. “Why aren’t you at Skool!”
The boy blinked at him in sad confusion. “Haven’t you heard? Dib’s been hospitalized and they gave us the day off to mourn.”
Zim’s face went pale. “What?”
“Oh my gosh, Zim! What happened to you!” Keef gasped, reaching toward Zim’s face.
“Nothing…” mumbled the alien as he absent-mindedly batted the boy’s hand away. For a moment, all he did was stare just past Keef’s left ear at the Other laughing.
“It all makes sense now…” Keef murmured, taking a step back. “That’s why you’re acting so strangely… I—I didn’t know. I’m so sorry! You must be miserable!”
“Eh?” he muttered, not quite focused on that point just beyond Keef’s ear now.
“That’s where you’ve been, isn’t it! Standing vigil at outside Membrane labs loyally, no matter how dark the night became! Sitting out there all night in the cold, wondering if he’ll make it…” rambled the boy angstily. “Knowing all the while that horrible, horrible girl had been trying to bend our Dib to her evil wishes!”
Zim blinked and looked straight at Keef. “Membrane labs?”
“Of course!” Keef barked, pointing to the gleaming building overshadowing them. “That’s where they took Dib after they found him. He’s somewhere in the former Pig Girl wing.”
“Dib…” came the hiss as Zim’s expression darkened.
“Uh… you okay, Zim?”
Roaring in rage, Zim knocked the boy aside as he deployed his spider legs and raced toward the lab. The guards scattered like waves of terror-stricken ants when he barreled through the front gate. He was halfway up the side of the building before the automated security system kicked in, laying down a vicious burst of laser fire which Zim deftly dodged as he jumped into an open duct.
Slipping effortlessly past the fire-blasting buzz saw traps, he crawled along the duct and in an unusual stroke of luck, it just happened to lead straight to the room with Dib. In an even more unusually fateful turn, the only nurse on duty just happened to have eaten at Taco Hell the night before and was bolting for the nearest bathroom right at the moment Zim dropped into the room. And in a coincidence only to be labeled ‘insanely miraculous’, somebody had forgotten to hook up the surveillance cameras.
Oblivious now to the world outside his massive head, Dib seemed oddly peaceful despite the bandages. He looked tiny against the stark white of the bed, a harmless little bundle of human flesh tethered to the life-giving machines by tubes and wires. So very weak…and yet still as much a dangerous as he was when conscious.
“How do you do it?” Zim rasped, stepping up to the bed. “Tell me how you do it, Dib? You’re as good as dead and yet you’ve still managed to ruin my plans with the merest mention of your name! You could be rotting in the stinking dirt full of maggots, only a faint memory in the minds of your people, and you’ll still be haunting me, won’t you!
The machine hum swelled as the alien leaned closer to his silent enemy, punctuated by the low beat of an electrocardiogram.
“I know you can hear me. I think that wherever you’re hiding in that freakishly huge skull of yours, you’re laughing at me. Because you think that I can’t reach you. You think the worse is over now, don’t you? But you’re wrong, Dib.”
Tearing away the sheet, Zim clambered onto the bed and roughly straddled Dib’s waist. He grinned with quiet malice, running his hands over the slowly rising chest till his gloved claws rested lightly against the bared neck.
“Do you feel my hands around your throat?” he hissed, lazily tightening his grip. “Do you realize it would be so easy for me to end your life with a simple squeeze…”
The EKG beat increased by panicked blips while Dib gasped numbly for air.
“Afraid? You should be…” Zim let go and watched the skin redden where his fingers had been. “But I’m not going to kill you. Not like this.” Laying down on top of him, Zim lazily slide a hand through Dib’s hair. “Now, don’t get the wrong idea, worm-boy. I’m not letting you live because I like you. In fact, I hate you. I hate you with every single cell in my body. I hate you down to the very core of my being. I hate you so much that I didn’t kill you last night was because I want you to know, firsthand, how deep my hatred is for you. And I want everyone to see my hate carved into your flesh…”
With a jerk of his hand, Zim tore the bandages off Dib’s face to exposing an eyeless patch of face mirroring his own. A pleasantly warm thrill welled up from his belly, causing Zim to groan. He almost lovingly stroked the stitched up gashes, listening to the steady wheeze of breath that fluttered against his mouth. Impulsively, his tongue darted out and lapped along the damaged skin, tasting the stingy flavor of sweat and disinfectant wash. Moving down to Dib’s neck, he nuzzled the spot where the neck and shoulder met. Zim pressed his mouth against it and bite down hard enough to rip into the skin, causing the body underneath him to tense and push forward. Without realizing it, Zim started humped against the comatose boy as he gnawing and sucking at the fresh wound, letting his hands wandered along Dib’s torso, dipping underneath the sterile white hospital shirt to grope against the bandaged and broken skin. A red sheen clung on his smile when Zim finally found to willpower to pull away and climb out of the bed.
“Pleasant dreams, Dib…”

(a/n: Edit- Keef’s name fixed. Thanks for pointing it out, pinky.)
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The Happy Smiley Dib Show!