Finale | By : Spacefille Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > AU/AR-Alternate Universe-Alternate Reality Views: 5244 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Chapter 3
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Dib was beginning to severely curse his lack of foresight when it came to not bringing any sort of weapon with him as the elevator sped down below ground level with him in it. He was also beginning to wonder if it would ever stop, when it finally did. It spat him out unceremoniously and he stumbled into a darkened area. He fell back again and spent a couple a moments leaning against a wall, breathing heavily and trying to regain his breath. It didn't take him much longer before he realized that he could not see anything. At all.
He heart leapt into his throat at that revelation and a chill drifted through him. He cleared his throat carefully. "C-computer?" He called out cautiously.
"Wh~hat?" The computer whined back at him.
Dib blinked into the darkness. "Computer, can you turn on the lights?" He asked, a little bit plaintively.
The computer didn't answer but a moment later the lights flooded on, and Dib squinted in the sudden brightness. After a moment his vision cleared and he blinked again, looking around himself.
A door was directly in front of him, less three feet from the place where he was standing.
'Okay...' cautiously Dib stepped forwards, reached out, and touched the door.
It slid open quickly and soundlessly, startling the boy again. After a moment he calmed himself and stepped forward into the new room.
This room was spacious. Very spacious. Much like the room Dib had first captured Zim in; it had computer control panels along one wall of the room, and lines upon lines of empty specimen capsules in rows along the two of the other three sides. The far wall was bare, save for the texture of pipes and electrical-like tubing.
The first thing he noticed about the place though, was the smell.
It wasn't an unpleasant smell... in fact it was just the opposite. It was thick and musky... and strong. Strong enough to make Dib stumble backwards a step and clamp a hand loosely over his mouth and nose.
He recovered after a moment and took his hand away from his face. "Zim?" He called out softly, remembering why he was down here in the first place.
There was no answer. Frowning Dib walked further into the room, his eyes darting about. "Zim?" He called out again. He noticed that his voice echoed slightly. A look of curiosity crossed his face, and he cleared his throat. The sound of the gentle rumble from his throat echoed back at him as well and he looked up suddenly. The ceiling was very high up, which explained the echo... he looked back down and took a few steps forward, stopping to turn a full 360 degrees, peering into the shadows all around him before continuing deeper into the room. "Are you in here?"
He could barely hear it, but-- "Go away..." someone groaned out softly in response.
Dib's head snapped around, his eyes following the sound of the voice.
There!
Or rather there his legs were. They were curving out from behind a computer panel covered in unrecognizable equipment.
"Zim!" He darted toward the small Irken, then stopped short, his eyes widening.
Zim was naked. Stark naked, as the day he was born, pending he was even born in the first place. But where...? Dib looked about quickly and found the Irken's clothes, a couple of feet away and to his left. He turned and crouched down. He picked up what looked like the remains of Zim's striped shirt, running his hands over it. It was now just rags... less than that really, scraps of cloth... torn into tiny useless strips of fabric. The cloth was encrusted with something dried as well, and on a lighter patch of it, Dib could see that it was the green color of Irken blood. Frowning, Dib dropped the fabric and stood up again, walking slowly over to Zim's prone form.
"Zim," He said much more quietly as he crouched down besides him. The alien looked literally drugged, his red eyes half closed and glazed over. His thin arms encircled his upper body and his knees were up, pressed almost to his chest. His breathing was steady and deliberate and Dib watched for a moment as his chest slowly rose and fell. Then he noticed the dried green blood that swelled out in circles on the floor about the Irken. Dib's frown deepened as he leaned closer to Zim-- where had all the blood come from? Then he got a gigantic whiff the strong musky scent that had captured his attention when he had first walked into the room.
His head swam suddenly. Letting out a little noise of alarm, Dib fell backwards on his butt. He sat there for a moment, then stifled a soft moan. A particular warmth was spreading throughout his body, turning his limbs numb and tingly. It washed over him then focused, centering somewhere in the pit of his groin.
'What the HELL?' Dib thought, very startled. Then it occurred to him that the smell coming from Zim, first off, and that it could be dangerous to a human, especially since his blood was already infected with an alien virus. He clamped his hand over his mouth and nose again, despite the fact that it wouldn't help very much as fingers made poor filters...
He only then noticed that Zim was watching him out of glazed half-lidded eyes. The alien didn't move however, just continued breathing in and out laboriously. After a moment of looking at the human his eyes closed. "Go away." He repeated, his voice thin and whispery. "Zim does not wish to see you."
Dib ignored that. "What's happening here Zim?" He choked out. He was now kneeling, both of his hands held over his mouth and nose.
Zim didn't reply.
"Tell me Zim!" Dib snapped after a moment or so of silence. "What's wrong with you?" He yanked one of his hands away long enough to wave it wildly to the remains of Zim's clothes. "Why did you rip your clothes off? What's wrong with your blood?" He now gestured to the pools of encrusted green stuff underneath Zim. "ZIM??"
The Irken let out a little snort, his eyes still closed. "Stupid human." He muttered. "Stupid, stupid human. You'd never underst--" Suddenly Zim gasped, his eyes flying open. He cried out, arching his back suddenly, then curled in on himself, gasping and trembling.
Dib reacted without thinking. He lurched towards the Irken, to help him, then at the last moment remembered himself. Yanking up his shirt he held it over his nose with one hand, and reached out with his other. "Zim." He said, his voice kindly now. "Whatever you have, it's infected me too," He explained. "If you let me help you, maybe I can fix it. What do you think?" When Zim still didn't reply Dib reached down and shook Zim's shoulder ever so slightly. "Zi--"
Zim reacted... violently. Shrugging off Dib's hand he threw himself backwards, skidding across the floor on his rear. "Do not TOUCH me!" He snapped, his red alien eyes blazing. "This would not even be occurring in the first place if you had not touched me!!" He lurched forwards bringing twin clawed fists forwards to slam them down into the floor. "I hate you!" He thrust a hand forward, pointing it at Dib, then balled it and waved it in the air melodramatically. "I hate you with a hate I've never hated before..." He finished and his hand fell back to the floor, joining the other in helping to hold him up on all fours. His head hung between his shoulders as he panted, clearly exhausted. "Pitiful goo creature," He muttered. "Hate brain meats..."
Dib raised an eyebrow. He was used to Zim not making much sense, but all and all he did get something out of that outburst. Well more than something. He had never seen Zim completely naked before. He had wanted to... he remembered back in grade 7, when gym class started and all the boys had to change in the change room together, he had eagerly awaited the opportunity. It was finally his chance to see what exactly Zim had underneath that full body invader outfit he always wore. Purely scientific fascination of course. He had been very upset when he learned that Zim somehow managed to get himself exempt from the class -- permanently. When Dib had ranted about it, Zim had smirked and said something about his skin condition. It had made Dib want to kill him at the time. He had been shafted... again...!
Now, however, he had been exposed to more than just an eyeful of Zim when the alien jerked away and fled across the room. Like he expected, Zim did not have anything that would be considered somewhat male in origin... but... what? Dib's eyes narrowed as he tried to discern exactly what was between the Irken's legs. There was something there... but what was that? And why did it cause his stomach to flip flop? He didn't know why, exactly, trying to look for an alien's sexual organs was making something in his stomach flutter. Dib winced, and his eyes shifted momentarily, as he tried desperately to school his body's reactions. 'Lucky for me Zim's an alien,' He thought ruefully. He tried to look away, but curiosity wouldn't let him as Zim knelt...
"Do you mean I did something when I abducted you that made you sick?" Dib asked, still looking at the darker green patch of skin down between Zim's legs. He cautiously removed his hand from around his mouth as he spoke though, assuming that Zim was far enough away from him to not pose a threat...
Zim shook his head back and forth agitatedly. "Yes. No!" There was a pause, and then the alien looked up suddenly. "Your hair is stupid!" He declared.
'Well at least he didn't say anything about my head size.' Dib reflected. "Zim..." He said out loud, and there was a warning note to his voice. He looked back up at the Irken's face. Finally he sighed and threw his hands in the air. "I don't even know why I'm here," he exclaimed. His eyes narrowed. It was time for him to demand answers. He thrust a finger at Zim. "Gir said I can help you." Dib said, his words short and clipped. "Your stupid crazy robot dog came to MY house and said you needed MY help. WHY??"
Zim's eyes narrowed. After a moment he snorted again and grinned. "YOU can not help ZIM!" He said in a sing song voice.
"WHY?" Dib returned. He was beginning to get impatient. The impatience was helping to clear his head actually, thankfully.
Zim looked at him for a moment. Then his face fell, his antennae falling flat against his head. He lowered his head again, then shook it. "Lies..." He muttered. "All lies..."
"ZIM!" Dib had had enough. He got to his feet and stomped over to Zim. He reached down and yanked the Irken up by his arm. He shook the alien once he got him semi-standing. "Stop it!" He snapped. "Stop acting crazy and tell me what I need to know, Zim."
Zim looked up at him, almost fearfully for a moment. Then he blinked and frowned. He squirmed, trying to wean his arm out of Dib's grasp. Dib merely tightened his grip.
It was only then that he noticed the scars.
His hostile expression turned pensive, and he looked down, peering closer at the Irken's skin. He hadn't noticed that when he had had Zim on the autopsy table... but there was the finest network of pale green scars covering Zim's upper arms and chest. Huh... suddenly he remembered Zim's clothes. 'They might be from that,' Dib thought to himself. He knew for a fact that the Irken healed fast... from at school when their adventures in trying to capture each other got too rough. Zim would be injured and bleeding profusely one moment and then a couple of minutes later he would be perfectly fine again, his cuts or scrapes or whatever happily sealed off and repaired. Dib usually wasn't so lucky, being human, but that was besides the point. If enough time had gone by for Zim's blood to dry and encrust on the ground, then more than likely the scars had come from that healing. Though... he shook his head slightly. Had the Irken really clawed his clothes off? Why? What would have caused such a violent reaction...?
He had almost forgotten that he had Zim's arm in a deathgrip with the alien was twitching uncomfortably until the Irken spoke. "RELEASE me, Earth-smell, and I will tell you," Zim finally grumbled at him.
Dib raised an eyebrow. "Promise?" He said.
Zim nodded.
"And no more saying things that don't make any sense?" Dib pressed.
Zim nodded again.
"And you're going to tell me what's wrong with you, right?" Dib continued.
"Yes, yes," Zim replied. "Stupid meatbag, let go!"
Dib let him go.
The alien collapsed to the ground at Dib's feet. For a moment he sat there, massaging his arm where Dib had gripped it, then he hung his head. Dib took a couple steps back and peered down at him.
The Irken sighed and opened his mouth. "About every sixty of your pathetic earth years members of the superior Irken race go into heat." Zim finally mumbled.
"... Heat?" Dib replied, somewhat confused.
"Yes heat," Zim snapped back irritably.
Dib blinked. "Okay... heat like in as...?" He made circles with his hands to encourage Zim to continue.
"Heat as in heat heat!" Zim explained, sounding more than a little cranky. "One Irken must go find another Irken to produce seedlings, which are then sent off to the nurseries to be grown into smeets."
Dib blinked. He only understood about half of what Zim had just said, but he was learning something new, even if it seemed to have nothing to do with the sickness he wanted to know about. He crouched down to get somewhat eye level with Zim, interested despite himself and willing to risk the intoxicating scent to learn. "Smeets?" He questioned.
"Yes, smeets! Wormbabies as you humans call them." Zim replied.
That Dib got. 'Wormbaby' was Zim's word for human children. "Humans call them ch--"
"Don't interrupt me!" Zim yelled, looking up and waving a fist at Dib. "Do you want me to tell you or NOT?!"
Dib was taken aback for a moment, but then he sighed, rolled his eyes, and nodded. "Fine. Go ahead." He replied. 'Ah well...' He thought. At least he now knew how Irkens reproduced.
"AnyWAY," Zim continued snobbily. "No matter what or where an Irken is at any given time, that Irken, if their sixty year cycle begins, they go into heat and need to mate... and all such disgustingness." Zim wiggled his fingers and wrinkled his face to indicate his disgust at the thought.
"Mate?" Dib replied.
"YES mate!" Zim exploded. Suddenly, almost as if it had become too much for him the alien's eyes widened again. He lost his angry posture and gasped, curled in on himself. He finally fell over to lay out on his side in a fetal position. Dib resisted the urge to go to him. He had a sickening feeling developing in his gut that he should probably try to stay far away as possible from Zim right about now...
For the longest moment there was quiet in the room and the only sound was the Irken's noisy breathing. Dib began to wonder if he was going to continue and was about to question him on it when the alien did anyway.
"Unfortunately, despite all the incredible advancements in Irken Technology, they haven't managed to figure out how to weed out this one." Zim paused and gasped for breath again, then swung his head upwards and glared at Dib. "I would have returned to the Massive, but the journey is too long. The only chance I had," He spat, "Was to stay here and try to cure myself. I was very close to figuring out the cure when you! Stinky worm monkey, decided to WRENCH me from my HOME and destroy MONTHS of work..." Dib raised an eyebrow again and Zims head fell back down again, to rest against the floor. His hate filled eyes stayed focused on Dib though. "Now it is too late. My wretched traitorous body has imprinted you, the most hated of all the filthy creatures on this disgusting planet, thanks to your horrible touching-ness..." He drew in a shuddering breath and looked away, his eyes turning to focus off at nothing. "I do not know why my superior body would consider your pathetic race advanced enough to inter-mate with the far superior Irken race..." His voice trailed off as he continued to stare off into the distance, a perfectly miserable look on his green face.
It took Dib a moment, but he finally managed to process all the things Zim had just said and 'get it'. "You're NOT serious," He breathed.
"I assure you, human, I am very serious," Zim replied grumpily. He had reverted back to holding his arms around his alien chest, his shoulders hunched in on themselves.
Dib backed up a step. And then another. Oh nonononono... "You mean, I have to, you know..." He pointed to himself and then at Zim. "With you...?"
Zim's head swung back around to look at him and he frowned. "What?"
Dib shook his head again. It made too much sense though. The strong intoxicating smell. The... arousal he had felt ever since he had walked into the room and had been trying desperately to ignore. His eyes flew to that strange dark patch down between Zim's legs and back to his face again. "This... this is insane!" He declared. "You're a-- an alien *thing*! How can I possibly do anything-- like that... with you??!" He was shouting now, his eyes wild.
Zim squinted one eye up at him. Very slowly he uncurled himself and even more slowly he managed half wiggle half crawl across the floor, away from Dib. Dib watched him go, confused. He did notice, now that he could see his back, that Zim's pak still had ugly outlines around the ports where he had sealed them off... had the alien not had time to fix his pak since returning here?
He was even more confused as he saw Zim use the computer panels to haul himself shakily to his feet. "Why can't you walk?" He asked suddenly, looking and feeling completely lost. Zim had never had problems with walking before... and he didn't need his pak to do that...
Zim still didn't answer him. After a moment of standing against the computer panel with both of his hands braced against it and his chest heaving with the effort of standing, Zim tapped something into it.
"Zim?" Dib questioned, beginning to get more than a little nervous. An instant later something popped up out a slot in the computer and Zim caught it swiftly, turning around to face Dib at the same time.
It was a gun. Zim had an Irken gun in one of his hands and he had it pointed right at his chest. Dib froze. The alien's eyes narrowed at the human.
"Shut up," Zim hissed at him through clenched teeth. "Shut up or I'll shoot you."
Dib merely stared at Zim, doing a very good impression of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. After what seemed like forever, but was actually only a couple of seconds, he relaxed. He narrowed one eye and raised the other eyebrow. "You're... not going shoot me," he said, slowly and quite matter of factly. If Zim had wanted to shoot him, he would have done it when he had first walked into the room.
Zim's hand trembled and the other hand came up to support it. "Don't be so sure," He hissed. He actually managed to step away from the panel, which he had been leaning back against for support. His legs shook with the effort though, very badly, Dib noticed.
"Do you actually think I want anything to do with this?" Zim ranted. "My perfect Irken body has been horribly deformed thanks to you!"
Deformed... Dib glanced down to the darkened patch on the Irken's lower abdomen which had caught his attention so many times already, then looked back up, again, confused. "What?" He asked.
Zim's eyes narrowed. "Don't tell me you can not see what is so plainly in front of your eyes human," He snapped. "My perfect body," his lip curled. "Has modified it's self for you."
Dib's eyes flew back down again. The darkened patch, he saw then, grew darker around a certain point, which disappeared into... he balked suddenly, realizing what he was actually looking at. Christ! Really? Zim was an alien... he would have never guessed...
Desperately he looked back up at Zim's face. "I--" He began
"All because you TOUCHED me," Zim ignored him and continued to yell. "If you had listened to me, there would have been no Dib-Beast genetic information for my body to modify it's self with!" He raised his arms out straight with a jerk, targeting his weapon. "Horrible creature this is all your fault!" And with that he pulled the trigger.
Dib cried out and jumped away as the beam came flying at him. He landed and rolled, curling into a desperate ball on the floor. After a moment he uncurled and looked up, only to discover the scorched line on the floor was in fact several feet away from where he had been standing.
Zim had missed... badly.
Then he heard a low moan and an accompanying thump.
Surprised he looked back to see Zim sprawled out on the floor where he had stood only moments before. The gun had dropped from his hand and had skittered off, and was now laying several feet away.
Dib leapt to his feet and ran over, kicking the gun away. He then turned back to Zim, panting slightly from the exertion. He was going to turn and run over to crush his foot into Zim's neck to hold him down, but he realized just as quickly that he didn't need to. The alien had apparently worn himself out. He barely even moved as he lay there on the floor, except for the twitch of his antennae. They consistently kept on perking up a bit and laying down flat again for a few seconds in what Dib had come to recognize over the years as a submissive/fearful gesture. His antennae flicked like that when Dib had him pinned in a situation he wasn't sure he could get out of...
For a moment they stared at each other.
It was that moment that Dib realized that he wasn't going to leave this night. He didn't even know if he could. There was something mesmerizing about the Irken's eyes. He managed to tear his own eyes away for a second, only long enough to glance towards the door. He couldn't do it though and after a moment he squeezed his eyes shut. He looked down at the floor then looked back at Zim again. Slowly he straightened and even more slowly began to make his way across the room towards the Irken.
Zim's antennae fell flat and stayed flat as he approached. He said nothing. His eyes weren't completely hostile however, but rather somewhat pleading.
"You missed," Dib noted.
The Irken nodded ever so slightly.
"Are you in pain?" Dib asked, a bit morbidly curious. For some reason he felt it fitting that Zim should be in pain... he had seemed to be in pain, all evening in fact...
The Irken nodded again, much more hesitantly this time.
Dib stopped a couple of feet away from Zim. He cocked his head to the side as he looked down at the alien. "Will you die?" When Zim didn't answer or nod right away, he elaborated. "If I don't... you know..." He flushed slightly pink.
The Irken shrugged. He didn't know.
Dib stared at the alien for a long moment. Finally he shut his eyes. There were so many reasons why he should just turn around and try to walk away. There were so many other reasons why he wanted to stay. A big argument in favor of staying was pure academic fascination. He wanted to experience this. Well, maybe not necessarily this, but this would be a good opportunity to get his hands on the Irken. He could get his hands on every available square inch of him and...
Another argument told him he had no idea what would happen to him if he left. Or shot the alien and ended up leaving whatever this was unfinished. He knew the alien had infected him. Sudden thoughts of Zim's clothes... or what remained of them came to mind. And the blood. He didn't want that to happen to him...
The deciding factor though, would have to be the fact that he was so hard it hurt. He hadn't even known that was possible.
So all and all there wasn't much to decide on really. He drew in a nervous breath and let it out slowly, then stepped forwards. He crouched beside the alien. Reaching out, he hesitated for a moment, then touched a smooth green cheek with the very tips of his fingers.
Zim didn't do anything. The very faintest tremors ran up and down the skin beneath his fingers, but he didn't move. His eyes remained focused off at a spot beyond Dib. Dib reached out and gently laid his other hand on Zim's neck, down where the bottom of his neck met his thin shoulders. Still Zim didn't move. He barely even blinked, his body loose and pliable under Dib's fingers.
Suddenly Dib was reminded of the chickens on his uncle's farm, back in a time when he was little and his dad still kept tabs with family. He was quite young, maybe six or so, but he and Gaz had had fun terrorizing the chickens while the adults socialized during that visit. After what seemed like hours of fun he had actually surprised himself by catching one of them and had managed to hold on to it's foot as it made a desperate bid to get away. After a while the chicken stopped trying to escape and Dib had laid it down on the ground carefully on it's side. He had been surprised when the chicken had just laid there instead of trying to get away again, still and quiet as Dib petted it's pretty white and brown feathers. Now that he was older he knew that the reason why the chicken hadn't fought back was because it was scared... and wasn't moving out of hope that Dib would just leave it alone if it appeared to be dead...
He wondered if the Zim wasn't moving then, for the same reason the chicken hadn't... out of fear, whether for his life or otherwise. Dib considered, but then frowned. No. Zim was no barnyard animal. He was much more hostile than that. Even if the Irken was physically unable to fight him right now, he was sure that at any given moment he would react with vibrant hatred and scream and yell at him...
"Zim?" He whispered softly. Still Zim didn't react. He gulped, suddenly nervous. He tried to shake it off and continued, reaching down and turning Zim over onto his back. He pressed his hands against the Irken's sexless pale green chest, running his fingertips gently over the barely noticeable network of scars. Zim was still, and as limp as a rag doll underneath his hands. Except for the very fine trembling...
"Zim." Dib repeated, a little louder. He didn't want this. His hands fell away. He had always been fairly good at fighting off various methods of mind control, and despite anything that the scent Zim was giving off was doing to him, his rational mind still broke through. He didn't want Zim to just lie there and let him do whatever to his body. It made the sick feeling that he felt only a few short days before return and he had decided he hated that feeling.
"I'm not going to do anything unless you-- do something," Dib said finally, circling his hand in the air to indicate that something-ness.
Zim blinked and turned his head slowly to look at him. His red eyes flickered down Dib's body and back to his face again. "Dib human?" He asked, his voice very small and uncertain.
Dib looked at him and shook his head once. No.
A visible shiver ran through Zim's body, shaking him from head to foot. For a moment the alien just lay there in the wake of it, focused off to the side for a moment again, his brow curved pensively. Then he looked up at the human again and suddenly extended his arms towards the other.
Dib blinked, taken aback for a moment. Then, hesitantly, he leaned down and pulled the alien to him.
He was a bit surprised when Zim nestled against his chest, his hands flexing against the cloth of his shirt. "Don't hurt Zim," The alien said softly after a moment. His voice was pleading. Imploring. "Please." He turned his face up, gazing up at Dib with his large red eyes. "Don't hurt Zim..."
Something wrenched at Dib's insides again, and he almost felt like he was going to be sick again. He quickly realized what it was though...
He was right after all. The alien was scared. Perhaps terrified would be a better term. Zim didn't know what was happening to him. Everything he had come to depend on had forsaken him now, his advanced technology could do nothing for him. Ego meant nothing in the wake of fear and the unknown.
'This creature in your arms,' Dib thought to himself, 'This creature in your arms is alive. It's not human, but it thinks and feels and fears just like you.'
'You will not hurt it.' He was surprised at how thoroughly convinced he was when he thought that. 'You will not...'
"It's okay," He told the alien, leaning forwards and gently laying Zim back down on the floor. "It's okay," he repeated quietly in reply to the sudden wild look of panic in the Irken's eyes. He reached up and stroked a cheek. "I'll try my best to be careful, 'kay?" He said.
Zim calmed somewhat and managed the barest nod in response.
Dib smiled and leaned down, turning his attention to other things. He inhaled deeply, taking in the pleasurable scent. So good... he pressed his face up against the alien's collarbone, (little bit surprised to find a quite human-esque collarbone), and felt as if he was drowning in it. He could feel Zim's unsure hands clench and unclench in his hair. He pulled away only a tiny bit, and continued to touch the alien, his hands running down his sides, marveling at the smooth poreless skin found there. He finally got up the bravery and desperation to touch where he was most curious, his fingers gently exploring the alien at and in the strange spot between his legs. This time he heard the quiet intake of breath, and his eyes darted back to the Irken's face quickly, partly to reassure himself that he had not, in fact, hurt him. He was relieved to see the opposite-- the Irken was giving him a more than pleading look though half massed and hazed eyes, his mouth open slightly as he panted softly.
That was all the encouragement that Dib needed. He had wrestled himself out of his restricting clothing in record time. The next thing he knew he was embracing Zim's smaller body, holding it to his, his face buried in the wonderful warm scent and every inch of his body burning with itching desire.
Maybe he really did need therapy, was his last rational thought before he plunged into the quite literal unknown.
'Hi, my name is Dib, and the first time I ever had sex it was with an alien who wanted to take over the planet... on the floor of one of the rooms in his elaborate base no less...'
'... am I freaky or what?'
~~~
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