Depths | By : Chickzilla18 Category: +1 through F > Danny Phantom > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1897 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom. I made no money or profit in the making of this Fanfic. |
Trigger warning in this chapter- self harm, attempted suicide.
...
Danny was home minutes later, the path that took him from school to his house was always very short when taken by car.
The raven unlocked his door and walked in, prepared to tell his father that he wasn't feeling good so he skipped his last class of the day, but when he was greeted by a quiet house and a note on the hallway table, Danny picked it up.
Hey boys, I'll be out in court until later, there is fudge in the fridge and noodles on the stove if you get hungry. Love you both.
His father's scratchy handwriting was only readable to Danny and Jack himself, and Danny didn't need to try hard to understand what was on the note. He had been correcting his father's grammar ever since he got his first A in English at 12 years old, and he was a pro at reading the chicken scratch that his father called cursive.
Danny sighed and set the note down, along with his car keys.
Of course his father wasn't home. Jack was out dealing with legal systems and fighting for his precious son's protection because the boy was too weak to do it himself. Danny wondered if his father would be just as protective if he knew that he was sexually active with another man.
Probably not.
Danny took off the hoodie that he had used as a sort of mask during the second half of the school day and put it on the coat rack before heading up the stairs to his room. After throwing down his school bag like it was the bane of his entire existence, he threw himself on to his bed and buried his face in his pillow. The quiet sobs that Danny released were muffled, but the sound of them still broke something inside of him.
He hadn't really had much of a reason to cry since Phantom showed up at his house.
The teenager stayed like that for a few minutes, until the wet heat from his tears soaking into his pillow became too uncomfortable to keep his face pressed into, and he picked his head up to breathe. It was then that he realized that he had unknowingly buried his face in Phantom's pillow, and the scent of the merman comforted him for a second before depression snuffed out the hint of peace.
Tears spilled from his eyes as he fell to his side and curled in on himself, feeling utterly alone. Something inside Danny begged for him to take out his phone and call one of his friends, but he refused. They were all in class right now, already about 15 or 20 minutes in, and if Danny called now it would be so inconvenient for them.
That didn't make the temptation to hear one of their voices any less desirable, even if it was just for a moment. The boy ignored the need though, what would he tell them anyway? That he was sobbing in his bed because he was too messed up to finish the day at school? How pathetic did that sound?
He needed to stop pushing his problems on them. They had even made themselves into accomplishes for murder just so that he could protect Phantom. They would never have been in danger of the law if he hadn't been so weak, if he had just protected himself and not have been such a damn idiot! Now they had found a body, and everyone involved with Vlad's death was about to have their lives ruined. He was so careless, so inconsiderate of his friends and his father.
Phantom probably wouldn't care if he called, and logically Danny knew that too. Phantom didn't pay much attention in school anyway; he already knew most of the material.
He could probably call him...
No. It was bad enough Phantom was forced to live with him, the merman didn't need Danny forcing himself on him every time he felt lonely.
Danny sighed, covering his wet face with the comforter and attempting to take a deep breath. It seemed impossible to do so though as sobs wracked his form. At least he was alone in the house.
The opened door to his bathroom caught his attention, and for some reason, it was like it was calling to him. He didn't even feel the pressure in his groin to make the room more desirable than his bed, but it was like the room had grown an arm and it was pulling Danny to it by the front of his shirt.
Danny got up, tears no longer falling from his face as he made his way over into the bathroom to look himself in the mirror.
Damn, he looked horrible.
His eyes were red and puffy and tear streaks could be seen running down his cheeks. The boy sighed and turned on the warm water, splashing his face to clear off the grime before drying himself with a towel. His nose felt extremely stuffy so he grabbed a tissue and blew it as well. He didn't look much better when he looked in the mirror again, but at least his face no longer felt cold and crusty.
His razor caught his attention from the corner of his eye, and he froze as his eyes landed on it.
No. He shook himself, no way. Danny turned and was about to leave the bathroom but it was like an invisible rope kept him from leaving. He couldn't move as he stared wide-eyed at his bed but only saw the razor sitting innocently by the sink behind him.
Something snapped inside Danny at that very moment.
Before he even realized what happened, he was getting the hammer out from under his sink and smashing the razor to get to blade out of the protective plastic. Next thing he knew when the blade was free, Danny found himself sitting on Phantom's side of the bed as he stared down at it in his hands. HIs mind felt foggy, and he didn't seem to be in control of his actions anymore as his body did the work for him.
He laid down, set his head comfortably on the pillow and covered himself with the blankets before digging the blade into his wrist. The pain made him pause momentarily as a lick of hesitation made him stop.
He watched a little drop of blood escape passed the blade, hypnotized by how red and pretty it was.
He didn't notice when his hand developed a mind of its own and finished the path across his wrist, slitting the skin apart and allowing the blood to drip freely onto the floor. Danny watched it as it cascaded out of the open wound and dribbled down his flesh, lost in how dark and red it was against his pale white skin.
There was so much.
He dropped the blade on the ground and dangled his bleeding wrist over the side of the bed, relaxing against the comfy mattress. The pain somehow comforted him enough to fall asleep, and he did a moment later.
Nobody would have to deal with his shit anymore.
...
Phantom panted as he ran down the street, still affected by the heat that he had been trapped in. Normally he wasn't this out of shape or affected by physical activity, as he normally had great stamina.
Stupid Spectra, screw her and her deviously well thought-out plot. Things were going to get difficult if Hades kept sending the more cunning half of their species after Danny. Not only had Phantom barely made it out alive, but he wouldn't have at all if Tucker hadn't happened to have been walking by the counselor's office and just happened to see him lying there. Spectra turned out to be a pain in the ass for Phantom. She was so much smarter than Ember was, and he had not seen her coming.
The scent of Danny's blood was strong, and Phantom pushed himself to run faster as he finally made it up the stairs to the Fenton household. Danny's car was in the driveway, but Phantom didn't need to see that to know that Danny was in the house.
The merman shoved open the door, in desperate need of some water as sweat made its way down his back. In an effort to cool himself off, he worked his ice energy and threw off his leather vest as he ran up the stairs to Danny's room.
It was one thing to smell the blood and know that Danny was bleeding profusely, but it was an entirely different story for Phantom to run in and see the sight before him.
Danny was lying in bed, his eyes closed and his face deathly pale as blood pooled in a puddle where his wrist continued to bleed. The sight hit Phantom like an angry bull and clouded his vision till the slit wrist was all that he could see. Danny's body was all he could register as he ran over to lift the boy onto his shoulders and carried him back down the stairs like a sack of potatoes.
The sound of a heartbeat pattering against Danny's chest only allowed Phantom a moment of relief as he grabbed Danny's keys off the hallway table and ran out the door, unconcerned with locking it behind him as he opened up the boy's car. Screeching tires could be heard down the street as people rushed out to see where it was coming from, but by then Phantom was already speeding off towards the hospital.
Danny's eyes cracked open after waking up from being manhandled and tossed around like a ragdoll, but he wasn't able to keep them open for very long. Distantly he was aware that Phantom was behind the wheel, but he was too sleepy to think too much about what was going on.
Phantom took a series of deep breaths, attempting to calm the intense nervousness that he could feel tightening in his chest, it hurt so bad, and he hated that he couldn't tell if it was an effect from the heat or if it was emotional.
He could smell that Danny was dying. The scent of death was like a poison in the raven's bloodstream that was rapidly infecting every inch of his body as he radiated pain and misery from his pores. Danny was perfumed with the enforced self-hatred inflicted in his manipulated mind, and it was suffocating -how potent it was on his skin. Phantom was finding more and more reasons for it to be difficult to keep his breathing under control as he fought the dizziness and fatigue trying to shut his brain down to sleep.
He didn't spend too long thinking about his own exhaustion though, instead, focusing on Danny's heartbeat. He concentrated on the sound of it as it beat weakly against his human's chest. He didn't know what he would do if the sound stopped, he begged for the sound not to stop. It was already so soft, fighting to keep fluttering even as Danny's body continued to give up.
Phantom could hear the sound of tires screeching behind him just before cars crashed into each other, but the merman didn't feel sorry for causing multiple accidents as he sped passed stop lights and almost hit multiple pedestrians, nor did he bother to stop to make sure anyone else was okay. It didn't even bother him that multiple police cars were already yelling at him to pull over to the side of the road. He didn't stop though, all he cared about was getting Danny to the hospital. He could pay for the damages later if that's what they wanted, but he was not stopping that car until they were at the hospital.
When he finally pulled in to the emergency parking lot, he started blasting his horn until three nurses rushed out to the car, and he parked so they could open the passenger door. Danny's body was carried into the building as the three police cars that were following Phantom parked and ran over to the merman.
He wanted nothing more than to follow the nurses that took Danny, but the cops forced him to freeze where he stood. He kept his eyes on the human until he could no longer see him when he disappeared into the hospital, but by then his attitude had changed into one of mind-blowing anger.
He didn't know who he was angry at more, himself, Danny, or Spectra. Presently though, he was having a hard time not taking it out on the cops.
Luckily, an understanding cop made the struggle a little easier, apparently seeing where they were and who was just carried in on a stretcher, "Sir, I understand that this must have been an emergency, and you look to be very stressed out. Was that your brother that they just took in there?" Phantom was glad the cop had enough common sense to gather the obvious situation that they had found themselves in.
"My boyfriend," Phantom said as he tried to keep his anger, and his breathing, under control. "This is his car." It was extremely hard to do so with the headache burning behind his eyes, and the fact that he could no longer see Danny wasn't helping anything.
"Okay, nobody was hurt, despite how crazy you were driving, so I am just going to take the license plate, and put your ID on the record and let you get in there, we will call you about the damages later, okay?" Phantom couldn't help but feel grateful. He didn't know what he would have done if a stupid cop had talked to him.
Phantom allowed them to take the three minutes to get his information down, but by the time they were handing him his ID back and allowing him to get inside, he was already starting to feel the effects of the last hour. His adrenaline was starting to wear off and he was becoming increasingly exhausted as the seconds went on.
He wasn't allowed to see Danny for 30 minutes after that. Meanwhile, he sat in a waiting chair in the lobby ringing each of Danny's friends and trying to get a hold of Jack Fenton. The father was probably too busy in court right then because he was not answering Phantom's multiple calls, but the merman tried his phone every few minutes anyway.
Stress was evident on Phantom as the world around him spun, and when he finally gave up on getting a hold of Jack, he put his phone away and rested his heated face in his hands.
Ten minutes after calling Sam and Tucker, the two of them rushed into the emergency room.
"Where is he?" Sam asked in a rush of held breath as she and Tucker sped over to Phantom, but the merman could only answer with his hands up in surrender.
"I don't know anything yet, they took him in there half an hour ago. His heart is still beating though so something has to be going well." Phantom pinched his nose and rubbed at the tension away from his forehead.
"Dude, you don't look so good." Tucker said, "you aren't still affected from being stuck in that room are you?" They seemed to be a little less twitchy when Phantom told them that Danny's heart was still beating, and Phantom envied their ability to control their emotions.
"Don't worry about me," the merman answered bitterly with a bitter expression as a nurse walked towards them.
They all turned their attention on her with expectant faces as Phantom sat straight.
"Mr. Fenton is going to be fine," everyone breathed a sigh of relief, "we managed to stabilize him but he did lose a lot of blood and he is going to have to stay the night. Luckily we had his blood type or things could have turned out worse. I'm glad you got him here as fast as you did, I'm sure even less than a minute later and he would have been gone." She led them to the room. "You three can go in and see him now, but he is asleep." The nurse shut the door and left them there.
When they were alone, Sam looked up at Phantom and asked, "What happened?"
Phantom was so sleepy, "I need to tell you guys something, but later when we aren't surrounding Danny in his sleep. All you need to know right now is Danny did not do this of his free will." he laid his head down on Danny's bed, staring up at the raven's closed eyes as he grabbed the sleeping teen's uninjured wrist and held it.
If he was supposedly incapable of feeling attachment to another being, then why did it hurt and scare him so bad to see Danny the way he was?
Sam and Tucker looked at each other in confusion, wanting to ask the questions that filled their head.
What did Phantom mean it wasn't of Danny's free will? Why was his wrist in stitches right then if Danny didn't mean to kill himself? What was Phantom hiding? What did he want to tell them? What was really wrong with Danny? Who trapped the merman in that hot room?
Whoever locked Phantom in the counselor's office in 130 degrees had to know that Phantom was allergic to heat. Did that mean they knew his secret? Or was it just a jealous bully who pulled an elaborate and ill-judged prank?
Phantom was asleep before either of them could voice their many questions though, and as they glanced down to watch as the merman's hand tightened around Danny's, they sighed.
The siren was severely affected by the heat and from how he pushed himself today despite how weak he was. He needed to recuperate just as Danny did. The time for questions was not now, but they knew that they would be getting answers soon.
...
It was 10 o'clock at night by the time that Jack opened up his voicemail, concerned over the amount of missed calls from Dan and Danny's friends. But when he listened to the last voicemail left by Tucker, Jack nearly dropped his phone.
He roughly turned the key in the ignition and rushed over to the hospital, and when he got to Danny's room, he was finally able to shed a tear. His son looked so small in that hospital bed, lying there looking pale and exhausted. His raven hair was tangled and covering half of his face, hiding his closed and sunken eyes from sight, and as Jack approached, it registered that Sam, Tucker, and Dan were at his boy's side.
Seeing his son lying there and knowing how he ended up in that bed crushed him, Jack had no idea that his son was so sad. how had he let things escalate so quickly? Why didn't he notice that his son was suffering so badly? What was hurting his son so much that he would try to end his own life?
Did this have something to do with Vlad?
The thought just kept getting closer and closer to home, and Jack wasn't sure if he was prepared to come to some sort of confirmation that it was true. He hoped, prayed, and begged to whoever was listening that his son did not do this because he was feeling regret that he did something to Vlad. Jack didn't know what he would do if his college buddy had done something to hurt Danny, leading to his son murdering him. Lately, though, the possibility was so close, it was practically shining in Jack's eyes like an overly bright flashlight.
Sam and Tucker got up and hugged the father when he walked over to the side of Danny's bed, unable to take his eyes off the raven's face. He couldn't believe this happened at 4 and he had taken almost 6 hours to get there. Why was he such a horrible father?
Jack collapsed onto a chair behind him as he covered his face in his hands, unable to look at Danny anymore. He wanted to get the image of the weak and pale imposter posing as his son out of his head. This was not his boy; his boy was strong, and happy, and loved by many.
How the hell was he going to tell Maddie and Jazz?
...
The annoying beep beep of the heart monitor by Danny's bed is what woke the raven up the next morning, and he opened his tired blue eyes. Slowly as he blinked a few times from how bright the room was from the light shining in from the window and reflecting off the white walls.
When his memory flooded back to him like a bitch slap to the face, Danny's eyes widened and he looked around.
Holly crap, Danny thought as the reality of the situation dawned on him, what did I do?
The hospital bed was uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as Phantom, Sam and Tucker looked when Danny caught sight of them all sitting in chairs on the sides of his bed. The siren was resting his head on the bed with the raven's un-bandaged wrist, and part of his hand, in a firm but gentle grip and the other two friends were attempting to use each other as pillows but it didn't appear to be working well for them.
The white-haired "teen" had bags under his eyes, and Danny felt terrible about what he did. He recalled the events that lead up to this, and all he could feel was regret and disappointment in himself. Why had he done what he'd done? He remembered feeling incredibly sad, but... why couldn't he stop himself? Danny never thought suicide was the answer, it had never even been an option to him! How could he have allowed himself to give up in the span of a few hours?
He searched inside himself, introspecting the deepest darkest parts of his heart and soul. Aside from the anger that he felt at himself for what he did, he did not feel unhappy. He was not tempted to finish the job. He knew he did not want to die, he was too happy with his life the way it was right now. He had his father, Sam, Jazz, and Tucker, and now even Phantom. None of them had ever made him feel as helpless as he did the day before.
Well, besides when Phantom held him in captivity, that is, but even then, Danny had never really stopped wanting to live and be with his loved ones. They were all supportive and as loving as they could possibly be for him, they made him feel strong- wanted.
So why had he tried to get away from all that?
Phantom stirred next to him, and Danny focused on the darkness under the siren's eyes. Even with exhaustion written on every inch of the merman's body, he was still the most beautiful creature the raven had ever seen.
When lime green eyes opened and focused on the raven's apologetic face, Danny grinned sheepishly.
"You look terrible," the full human said to the hybrid.
Phantom blinked and lifted his free hand to run the sleep out of his eye, knowing the kid was admiring him despite the verbal insult.
"And you look like a complete dumbass," Phantom said back angrily as he sat up and glared heatedly at the younger boy. He briefly wondered why he was so angry at the boy when he knew that what happened was out of Danny's control, but the fact that it was all Spectra's fault did not extinguish the livid fire currently burning in his eyes.
Danny broke the eye contact, a fresh wave of regret taking his breath away. "I know." He didn't know what to say. I'm sorry? What would that do?
"I had to find your half-dead body bleeding out in your bed, Fenton. I had to drag you to your car and abandon all vehicle safety cautions to get you to the damn hospital in time." Venom could be heard in the merman's voice as Danny was scolded, but somehow Phantom was able to keep his voice even and still make the raven feel like crying again.
Danny swallowed thickly as he lifted his gaze to look Phantom in the eyes, but he flinched when he saw the anger and torment there. He did, however, feel a flutter of happiness at the first signs of legitimate anguish. Danny may not have done a good thing, and he very much regretted it, but at least one thing was absolutely certain; "you know that feeling you had when you found me? That's what being scared shitless feels like when you're about to lose someone you care about."
Phantom's mouth dropped open, and he wanted to say something, but no words came to his mind.
Danny gave him a small smile, hopeless and full of sorrow, but happy in a strangely sad way, "Congratulations, Phantom, you know what anxiety feels like."
The merman closed his mouth, remembering how horrified he was to see the afflicting sight of Danny's wrist cut open, with his face paler than death with a huge puddle of his blood on the floor. It was an image that he couldn't get out of his head, and it made him quake to think about it.
"I don't like feeling it," he finally said as his grip on the boy's hand tightened. Everything that Danny had made him feel so far was mostly good and incredible emotions that he was learning to love, and even seek out. This dramatic change in emotional education made him sick to his stomach with how dramatically different it was to everything else.
"Nobody does." Danny did not take his gaze away from him as the siren stared back with a mix of emotions that Phantom wasn't sure he knew how to identify, let alone handle.
Finally Phantom landed on sadness, but Danny couldn't shake the feeling that the merman was feeling fear along with his sorrow. "Don't you ever make me feel it like that again."
Danny nodded, "Never again. I don't know what came over me, I was fine in the morning until Dash-." He stopped himself, wishing that he had kept his mouth shut. It was too late though, because he had already been thinking about what the older bully did and he knew that Phantom could hear.
The merman's eyes narrowed. "He did what?" He wasn't sure why the idea of Dash abusing Danny bothered him so much, especially since he had stood by and watched the bully do it in front of him and had barely done anything about it in the past. He didn't understand anything anymore. It was like everything he thought he knew was actually horribly wrong, and he was now learning what right really was. He was not the same heartless siren that he was a year ago. He knew what heartache was, he knew what joy was, what true laughter felt like, and how good it felt to be close to another human.
The idea that Dash was consistently hurting Danny drove him up the fucking wall in anger.
A groggy yawn took Danny's attention away from Phantom, and he looked over to see Tucker yawning widely as Sam rubbed the kink in her neck with pain written on her face. Phantom's anger was forgotten as Tucker and Sam's eyes landed on Danny, who was now awake and looking at them for the first time since lunch the day before. They both looked relieved, their discomfort and their tight muscles forgotten as they leaned forward in their chairs.
"Danny!" Sam said with a hurt look on her face, "what happened yesterday?"
The worry was evident on both of his friend's faces, and Danny felt guilt and shame simmer in his chest.
"I'm sorry," he said quickly, wanting nothing more than their forgiveness, but also knowing that he did something very bad and did not deserve it, "I don't know what came over me. I don't know why I did what I did, or why I didn't even call one of you guys." He looked down at his own bandages wrist, and the sight of the white wrapping only made him feel more dishonor.
He didn't know how he was going to look himself in the mirror after this.
Phantom started growling, but before anyone could question why his eyes were suddenly flashing red, there was a knock on the door. All of their heads whipped over to see two men cautiously entering the room. They were wearing nice suits and had matching sharp jawlines and sharp brown eyes.
"Hello Mr. Fenton, forgive the intrusion, I am agent Dunck and this is my partner agent Imagay." He motioned to the man behind him, "We are here to ask you a few questions regarding your godfather Mr. Masters."
If Danny's face wasn't already pale from exhaustion and from being in a hospital bed all night, then the severe drop in his blood pressure would have been noticeable on his face.
He gulped down the lump in his throat, "Sure go ahead," Danny did not want to talk to these people.
The cop looked between Danny and his friends, "wouldn't you like to do this in private?"
The raven shook his head no, "I have nothing to hide," he had everything to hide.
Dunck nodded with a shrug as Imagay took out a notepad, "Did you know Mr. Masters well?" The older cop asked.
Danny nodded, "well, he was my godfather anyway." It should have been an obvious answer.
"Yeah?" The men took a few steps farther into the room, but none of the teenagers offered to give the intruders a seat as they glared daggers at the two men. "How close were the two of you?"
"Pretty close," they were not close, "we were good friends," they were the farthest thing from friends.
"Really? So did you know that he was stalking you?"
Danny watched as agent Imagay scribble down notes onto the little scratch paper in his little notebook and bit his lip, "No, I had no idea."
Dunck nodded, but Danny was not prepared for the questions to get more serious after that.
"It doesn't sound like it was consensual. Did he try to make a move on you?" Tucker and Sam's mouth dropped open in shock and anger as Phantom made a soft inhuman noise that was only heard by Danny.
Danny felt like he had been slapped in the face, "What?" the sound of the heart monitor beeping rapidly was easily played off by the outrage that the raven was feeling. "Of course, not!" he hoped the cops couldn't see the words 'I'm a fucking liar' on his forehead.
"I bet it would have made you angry right?" The cop pushed as Sam and Tucker stood up to try and do something about what was going on. How could these people harass Danny while he was lying in a fucking hospital bed?! "Angry enough to kill him?"
Those last words struck a cord if Danny, but not because he regretted that Vlad was dead. The cops just told him that they now suspected that Vlad was murdered. They were getting closer to the truth, and questioning Danny like this only proved that they were working to expose the truth.
This was bad. This was very, very bad. He couldn't let them get to the truth. If anyone found out that Phantom murdered Vlad, he would be taken to prison, and there he would most likely be exposed as a merman and be sent to some research facility before the day was even over.
Danny and Phantom made eye contact, but the merman only quieted the raven's thoughts with a soft, settle down, precious, into his head as he tightened his grip on the boy's hand.
"Hey!" Suddenly Jack Fenton's voice could be heard as the father made his way into Danny's room. "What do you two think you're doing? Danny is a minor, which means you can't question him without an adult present. Now unless you have a warrant for someone's arrest, I want you both out of here. My son will not be answering any more questions without a lawyer." the man's voice was strong, and he was obviously miffed about what he just walked in to see.
The kids sighed in relief, but the two agents just nodded respectfully at older man before leaving with sour expressions on their faces.
Jack was carrying a big bag of NastyBurgers, and while Tucker and Phantom's mouth watered, Danny's father made eye contact with his son.
But Danny couldn't keep looking at the hurt and worry in those eyes, so he quickly looked away.
That's when the nurse walked in with a clipboard, unknowing to the tense atmosphere she had interrupted, "Okay, Danny, I'm going to change your bandages and sign your release papers, and you're free to go."
The raven nodded, feeling a bit relieved to get out of the hospital and get back to his normal life. This was a rare lapse in his judgment, and he would make sure that this never happened again.
Never again. The crushed looks that he was receiving from his father and his friends were not worth it.
Danny never wanted to hurt them like this again, not if he could help it.
Phantom frowned.
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