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My Big Fat Gargoyle Wedding	By : MelissaMaxwell Category: +G through L > Gargoyles Views: 7467 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gargoyles. Gargoyles belongs to Greg Weisman and Disney. I make no money from this story.

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            "You can probably drink." Lex was saying to Coldstone. "You are waterproof after all."

            "Yeah," said Staghart. "But what about his insides? He's not exactly a Betsy Wetsy, you know."
            "Ah, go ahead and try it." said Lex, giving Coldstone a glass of scotch. "Anything happens, I'll personally dry you out."
            "Or we could just put him in a giant bag of rice." joked Staghart. Coldstone gave him a withering glare. "Only kidding!" Coldstone shoot his head and drank his scotch.
            Delwyn approached Staghart. “Stags?” he said. “Can I talk to you a minute? Alone?”
            “Delwyn,” said Staghart. “Anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of Lex.”
            Delwyn looked a little flustered but said “OK. Right. Well, I just wanted to apologize for how I treated you. You really didn’t deserve it. That’s the sort of shit someone like Ulrich would pull.”
            Staghart smiled. “Delwyn, I have long since forgiven you.” He said. “If you want to make it up to me, then be good to Coco.”
            “Right! I will!” he said with a smile. “Oi! Bartender! Lager for me and my mate!”
            “No thanks.” said Staghart, holding up his cocktail. “Not until I’ve killed this one at least.”
            “Cool, mate.” Said Delwyn, quaffing his lager.
            “What’s he apologizing for?” asked Lex.
            “I had a pash on him yonks ago.” Staghart said, stirring his drink. “I tried to make a pass at him and…things got weird.”
            “Oh.” Said Lex, understanding. “I think I know what you mean. I used to have a huge crush on Goliath.” He laughed. “Frankly, if things did work out, he’d be the one crushing me!” They both laughed.
            "I simply can't believe it." Tom said between sips of beer. "Little Angela is getting married! Seems like only yesterday I was giving her piggyback rides."
            "You did a fine job with her, Tom." Goliath said, sipping his port.
            Tom smiled and shook his head. "I made a girl, Goliath. You made a woman."
            "Attention!" said the DJ. "We're setting up the karaoke stage now. Anyone who wants to sing can come to the DJ booth to sign up and pick a song."
            "What's 'karaoke'?" asked Tom.
            "It's when people take turns getting on stage to sing." said Goliath.
            "Sounds like fun." said Tom. "You going up, Goliath? I always thought you had a good voice."
            "I don't think so." said Goliath. "Nothing can get me on that stage."
            Less than half an hour later, the DJ was announcing the next singer. "Put your hands together for Goliath!" he said as everyone cheered for the big purple gargoyle taking the stage. After his third glass of port, Goliath decided going on stage to sing would be a great idea.
            "I'm dedicating this one to my ex-mate!" he announced into the mike. A disco intro played and Goliath sang. "At first I was afraid, I was petrified. Kept wondering how I would live without you by my side...."
            The song was interrupted when a Molotov cocktail flew through the window. Lex grabbed the nearest fire extinguisher and nearly had the starting fire under control when a second was hurled through. "Gargoyles!" taunted a male voice. "Come out and play!" As a third Molotov was thrown in, four young men in Quarrymen masks stormed through the broken windows. The place exploded in violence between revelers trying to put out the fire and stop their attackers. Two were swinging electric hammers. One was firing a BB gun randomly. Another stood meekly with an unlit Molotov in hand.
            Josh froze. It was one thing to protect people from monsters. It was another to deliberately go after them. While he stood wondering what to do, something hot and damp with a nauseating smell was spilled all over him. "Aw, man, sorry 'bout that mate." Josh shouted when he saw a simian gargoyle teetering near him. "Thought I was done in the loo. Sorry, I'll get that." The gargoyle took Josh's mask off and tried to blot what Josh suddenly realized was vomit. A gargoyle just puked on him! "Like I shed, I'm real shorry mate." the gargoyle said as he tried to clean him off. "I'm jusht, I'm sho pished right now!" The gargoyle laughed as Josh shuddered. "What's yer name, laddo?"
            "J-Josh." he stammered.
            "Well, Josh, I'm Pollux." Pollux threw a hairy arm around Josh's shoulder. "You old nuff to drink Josh? Course you are!" He walked over to the bar. "Hey, bartender! Pour one o' them Long Island ice teas for my new mate Josh!" He finally realized a massive bar fight was going on. "Whoa! What's ev'one so argy-bargy about?"
            Shots rang out as party goers screamed or roared. Goliath made a grab for the gun, only to take several rounds to his face and chest. Aindreas managed to tackle the one armed with a BB gun from behind as Jophiel wrestled the weapon away from him. Griff deftly managed to dodge out of the way as an electric hammer swung past him and smashed into the bar. Griff smashed a whiskey bottle on the bar. "You want a fight, mate?" he asked, eyes glowing as he pointed the broken glass at his attacker. "I'll give you a fight!"
            "I'm not your mate, fag!" Brian said as he raised his hammer. The hammer was blocked by the blade of Excalibur.
            "He's not your fag, sirrah." Arthur said, parrying the hammer. In a few swift moves he had Brian disarmed. A kick to the hip had him sprawled on the ground. Arthur put the tip of Excalibur to his throat. "I'd fain look into a man's eyes before I send him to his Maker." said Arthur. "Remove your mask!" With a trembling hand, Brian removed his mask. Arthur withdrew the sword a bit. "Excalibur will not be stained with the blood of a child." he said.
            "But, Arthur," said Broadway. "Weren't you this age when you first picked up Excalibur? Maybe younger?"
            "Good point, if you pardon the pun." said Arthur, tickling Brian's throat with the tip of his sword.
            "Please don't hurt me." Brian whimpered.
            "Go." Arthur sheathed his sword. "I'll not kill a boy who whimpers for his life like a babe. Leave before I give you a sound thrashing!" I've done it! Arthur thought. Somehow, I've broken the Puck's spell and I'm back to my old self!

            "Good show, Arthur!" Griff said, clapping him on the shoulder. Arthur felt his heart flutter as his knees turned to jelly. Maybe the spell hadn't been broken after all.

            Brian tried to run out of the club, but a bouncer caught him. "Hey, hold on there, son!" The big man said with false congeniality. "Don't you wanna call your parents first?"
            "Uh, thanks, but I got a ride." said Brian.
            "Oh, I really think you should call your parents." said the bouncer.
            "Nah, man, really!" said Brian. "Hey, Josh! Time to go!"
            "Fuck this shit!" Josh screamed, running by, covered in vomit. The bouncer caught him by the shirt collar.
            "Whatcha got there, dork?" the bouncer asked, taking away his unlit Malotov cocktail. "I think we better call your parents too!" Josh tried to make a run for it, but he was cut off by Gabriel and two of his brothers, all flashing fangs and glowing eyes. Josh decided to take his chances with calling his parents. They'd only ground him forever.
            Willie had been swinging the electric hammer around like mad, laughing whenever he managed to get a strike in. Even when he missed and broke a table to pieces he still laughed at the destruction. A pair of leonic gargoyle pounced on him. Willie managed to strike one the larger one with gray streaks in his mane. The smaller white one let out a blood curdling roar and clawed Willie's arm. Willie screamed out in pain as he dropped his hammer. "Fucking son of a bitch!" he yelled, grabbing Delwyn by the mane and punching. He froze when he heard a whirring sound near his head.
            "My arm cannon can tear through a two foot thick wall of solid steel." said a deep voice. "Want to see what it can do to your puny head?"
            "I think this little punk needs to apologize." said a horned gargoyle wearing an eye patch.
            "Apologize?" scoffed Willie. "Did you see what that little shit did to my arm?" Delwyn was helping Leo stand up. Coldstone tapped Willie's head with his arm cannon. "Uh, I mean, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
            "I'm thinking public apology." said Brooklyn. He pulled Willie over to the karaoke stage. "Sorry about the mess, folks." Brooklyn said into the mike. "Someone here has something to say." He gave the mike to Willie.
            "I'm sorry." Willie said under his breath.
            "What was that?" asked Brooklyn. "I didn't quite hear you."
            Willie looked around and saw Coldstone still had his arm cannon aimed directly at him. "I-I said I'm s-sorry! I'm sorry, OK!"
            "I know you're sorry!" Uriel heckled. "How 'bout the rest of your family?" Everyone laughed as Willie turned beet red. It was almost a relief when the bouncer dragged him off to call his parents.
            Next, Aindreas and Jophiel chivvied Danny on stage, using his own BB Gun to restrain him. "Our new friend Danny wants to apologize, too." said Aindreas.
            "I-I'm sorry." Danny stammered.
            "Now, don't you feel better for saying that?" asked Jophiel.
            "Now tell everyone you love gargoyles." said Aindreas.
            "I-I-I-uh....I l-love gargoyles!" Danny looked liked he had a mouthful of bitter medicine.
            "Let's show Danny that we love him too!" Jophiel said with a smile.
            "Yes, let's!" Aindreas said. They both leaned down and gave Danny a damp kiss on each cheek. Danny screamed as everyone else laughed and camera phones flashed.
            "There's one for the wedding album!" Staghart joked, his fur stained with soot from trying to control the fire.
            "Let's do a song with our new friend!" said Jophiel. "I liked that one from that, whaddya call it? Those moving pictures? A muffie?"
            "A movie?" Bernard suggested.
            "Yes, movie." said Jophiel. "It was a story about toys; what was it called again?" Those familiar with Pixar laughed, sure he was making a joke. "Anyway, I liked the song from that movie and Aindreas and I are going to sing it with our new friend! Sing along, Danny! The words are on that monitor thing." Jophiel and Aindreas were soon singing "You Got a Friend in Me" while Danny looked humiliated. "Take a verse, Danny!" said Jophiel. Aindreas' talons at his back told him this was not a request.
            "Some folks might be," recited Danny. "A little bit smarter than I am. Bigger and stronger too."
            "Maybe!' Aindreas sang.
            "But none of them will ever love you," Danny said through gritted teeth. "The way that I do."
            "I really do apologize for this, Kurt." Xanatos was saying to the owner, taking out his checkbook. "What's the damage?"
            "Oh, it's not your fault, Mr. Xanatos." said Kurt. "Seriously, these kids will be paying one way or another."
            "You can't get blood from a turnip, Kurt." said Xanatos, writing out a check. "And litigation suits are just a pain." Xanatos gave him the check. "My advice is just take the check." Kurt looked at the check, his eyes bulging at all the zeroes. This would pay for damages with change left over.

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            Arthur watched the sun come up. Was the spell broken? Only one way to be sure. He sought out Griff and found him crouched on the southern veranda, serene in his stone sleep. How did he feel about him? He was a good warrior and an honorable knight. And...he was proud to call him friend. His knees didn't shake. His heart didn't flutter, though he did feel rather happy that Griff was in his life. He kept things from getting so lonely. He tried picturing himself in bed with Griff, a stray thought that had been plaguing him all night. This time, he found the idea more than a little distasteful. The spell was over. Arthur was back to his old self. The leather outfit Puck had dressed him in reverted to his usual clothes.
            And what did you learn, Wart? Arthur could almost hear Merlin's voice in his head.
            "I learned that homosexuals are really not so different. I learned that I've done Galahad a great disservice by trying to force him into something he wasn't." said Arthur. "Oh, Galahad, wherever you are, can you forgive me?" Somehow, Arthur got the feeling that he could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "You had a good time at the party Erin?" Elisa asked the turtle girl as she drove her Fairlane down the street.
            "Artemisia." she said. "My name's Artemisia."
            "OK, Artemisia, did you like the party?"
            "Oh, yes, thank you very much, Miss Maza!" said the turtle girl. "I spent most of the time with Lunette and the other kids, but I liked that dance Sora, Yuri and Shinju did. Even if I didn't understand the song."
            "It was pretty funny!" laughed Elisa, remembering how those three had mimed to a J-Pop tune.
            "Miss Maza?" said Artemisia. "I been talkin' to Sora and...she said if I wanted to go to Japan with them, I could."
            "Oh. Well, we'd all miss you if you left."
            "Yeah, but I wanna train to be a superhero. Sora says if I learn Bushido, it would probably help a lot. If Benny wants to come he can. If he doesn't, well, I know Talon and Maggie and Thug will all take good care of him."
            "Well, whatever you choose, we'll all support your decision." said Elisa. She came to a stop. "And the nearest entrance to the Labyrinth is here. Would you like me to go with you?" Maggie just then swooped out of the sky and landed on top of the subway entrance. She smiled and waved at Elisa. "Oh, never mind, Maggie's here. You have a good day Er-Artemisia."
            "Thanks, Miss Maza!" Artemisia left the car and went to the Labyrinth with Maggie.
            Elisa drove home thinking about the bachelorette party. She had spent the better part of the evening convincing Maggie that she deserved a night off and that Thug was actually very good with kids. Sora, Yuri and Shinju had mimed to bubbly J-Pop songs. After awhile, they dragged Arline and Coco on stage to mime to the Spice Girls. Ariel had been late to the party. Quiteria had just had her egg. Katherine told Elisa they were thinking seriously of leaving Boudicca and her egg with the Manhattan clan. "She seems so happy whenever Bronx is around." said the Princess. "I think she'd prefer it here. That is, if you'd like to keep her here."
            "Well, it's up to Goliath." Elisa told her. "But, I'm sure he'll agree.
            Goliath had come in later, with a dopey smile on his face, smelling like port and not seeming to care that he had six brass BB's embedded in his chest and shoulders. "It's only a flesh wound!" he quipped.
“How much did he have to drink?” asked Elisa.
“Not sure.” Said Tom. “I lost count after twelve.”
The bachelorette party was called early so they could attend to their injured and not completely sober males. From what Elisa could piece together, some junior Quarrymen took it on themselves to cause trouble at the Stonewall. They were put in their place rather quickly.
            At her apartment, Elisa fed her cats, changed into a nightshirt, pulled down the shades and got ready for a long snooze so she'd be alert for the wedding that night. God, don't let anything happen to this wedding. Elisa prayed just before going to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Across town, Dominique Destine watched the early morning news. There had been an altercation at the Stonewall last night. The perpetrators had been minors and were released under their parents' recognizance. Wildfires were sweeping through Florida. A strange monster had been sighted on the Canadian border. Clinton was still denying he had sexual relations with "that woman". A fireworks display was being prepared by the Statue of Liberty in honor of the Fourth of July. Oh, and the Taliban was executing some people.
            Dominique looked at the egg in her hand and smiled.

A/N: "You Got A Friend in Me" is by Randy Newman. "I Will Survive" is by Freddie Perren and Dino Fekaris. And if I missed anything, sue me! This site is too damn slow to do any editing!
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My Big Fat Gargoyle Wedding