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Borealis: A Zutara Story	By : jaded_priceless Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > AU/AR - Alternate Universe/Alternate Reality Views: 33524 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: The Legend of Korra, any historical figures or events, or easily recognizable persons, places or things. I make no profit from this work of fanfiction

Chapter List
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- 223
Chapter 219
His eyes reminded her of the seal from her first hunt when he looked at her: surprised, hurt, unable to comprehend the source of such pain.
“It’s okay, Zuko. I’m here. You’re not alone. I promise you’re not alone,” she whispered while brushing her lips against his.
That small amount of contact was all the motivation his drowning soul needed to anchor himself to her. She was lying naked beneath him. Her legs were around his waist; in this position she was completely open to him. She whimpered when his breath hitched. Zuko wasn’t just on top of her anymore. She focused on the ceiling wishing she could shut her ears as easily as she could close her eyes. He was still sobbing. Now that she had deciphered that phrase the others came easily; especially now that the guttural utterances had taken on a rhythmic cadence as Zuko joined his body to hers.
Iroh did not return for almost two years after the death of his son. There was no one to protect him from the blatant favoritism, the constant ridicule, and the impossible challenges. His father and Azula made him feel like he could do no right and somehow got the simple act of breathing wrong. He shuddered and sobbed harder barely taking a breath before revealing he almost died from pneumonia at age 11. He was made to feel weak and inferior for seeking medical treatment. The cook who made the sandwiches for them was the one who found him unconscious in one of the secret passages. She grew concerned after he didn’t sneak to the kitchen in the middle of the night to eat; that was the only time he felt safe enough for the food to properly digest in his stomach.
For the second time that day shed genuine tears for him. His father laughed and patted Azula on the head praising her after she commented, ‘he finally managed to do something halfway right. Like a good elephant-rat he’d crawled into a dark passageway to die’. His father and sister had mocked him as he lay fighting for his life. Once he had taken a turn for the better Ozai had looked at him with disappointment and sighed, ‘it was too bad that in the end he’d even managed to screw up dying like a rat’.
Zuko continued but Katara couldn’t listen anymore after that. She was crying too hard to hear anything other than her own sobs. Their eyes locked as he was emptying himself inside her again. His eyes were red and watery but nothing fell from them. His tears had dried but hers still ran freely. He parted his lips to apologize but she pressed her lips against his swallowing the second half of “I’m sorry”.
She wasn’t expecting the gesture to make him start crying again.
This time she learned he received no peace at school either. He spent most days at recess fighting to defend himself. Ozai had promised a reward to any boy who could best him and ruined the career of any teacher who showed kindness to him. One instructor who dared hug him after he wrote a poem about his mother was sent to the coal mines. Mu and the Zhao twins did what they could but the best Fire Nation schools were designed to keep the students segregated by age group. The slight differences in their ages put them a grade level ahead of him. They saw even less of him once they reached double digits and moved to the other side of the Royal Academy’s gated campus. Conquest, dominance, and sexual education were added to the curriculum at that point to prepare the students to be the future leaders of their nation.
The educators didn’t want their future bullies to be bullied by larger students.
The actions of Zuko’s body followed the ebb and flow of his emotions. The more ragged his tears the tighter he held her and the harder he thrust; the more painful the memory the harder he came once he was rid of it. The heavy burden of his childhood was breaking her. Katara wasn’t sure how long it continued or how much more she could endure before he finally stilled. Afterwards she continued to hold him, fresh tears coming to her eyes every time she glanced at the awful sheet of paper and the painful memories it dug up wishing there was another way, a better way to comfort him, one that didn’t reinforce his idea that she was his woman – in his mind or her own.
Katara found herself admiring the strength he possessed to endure that level of abuse for so long without losing himself. The rare times he was forced to look in a mirror he didn’t see the brave boy who spoke up to defend others or the sensitive boy who had withstood such abuse and grown into such a determined man; all he saw was a failure who’d been disfigured by his own father. He hated to look at himself so much he had adapted to the point he could shave without the aid of mirror.
Katara realized had misjudged him over and over again. If she had been treated so cruelly after the loss of her mother, she would have been successful in her childish attempts to join her. If she had grown up surrounded by such evil people and been sent on his quest she would have left a trail of bodies behind her. She would have considered no one but herself. No matter how determined he had been to catch the Avatar she was starting to believe that Zuko did not have it in his heart to be as cruel as she would have been.
Yuliang had left a letter for her with Akesato. In large shaky scrawl she explained how close she was to Zuko and why she cared so deeply for him. Princess Ursa had recognized her artistic talent and taught her how to use it. Zuko had been the one to see what his mother had missed. He had taught her how to understand and use letters. She was thirteen at the time and had been taught how to read by an eight year old. She revealed Zuko had been the one to end the unfair treatment of lower level servants by upper ranked ones in their generation. Zuko thought so very little of himself but showed great consideration for others in deeds so small they often went unrecognized. She and so many others owed their dignity and virginity to him.
Katara fell asleep after berating herself for doubting the sincerity of his words those few short weeks ago when he told her she was his only friend and if there were no good in the world he would have never found her.
~*~*~
It was after noon when Zuko finally woke up. He carefully lifted himself off Katara and tucked her beneath the covers. He picked up the letter, carefully unfolding and refolding it to read both sides twice more before crumpling it in his fist and setting it aflame. It was a schoolyard form of fortune telling that earned his childhood skepticism but today he wanted to see if he indeed received a message from the spirit world. When it was mostly gone he extinguished it and read what was left.
I have always wanted the best for you. Katara is a lovely girl. a true man in the eyes of Agni, master of all things and fit to keep what you have conquered. All my love
He smiled and thanked his mother. Everything else his father had written on both sides of the letter was completely charred.
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Borealis: A Zutara Story