Being Human | By : RotSeele Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > AU/AR-Alternate Universe-Alternate Reality Views: 2485 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim. I do not make any money from this story. |
Twenty-two - Dib POV
I stood against the cinder block wall with my arms crossed over my chest and stared out one of the windows that overlooked the quad outside the physics building. To say I was pissed was an understatement. I was beyond pissed. I could feel that fine line between sanity and insanity becoming less and less clear. I was angry at everyone - Gaz, because she'd been in on it the whole time and had actually helped create the Zeke persona for Zim, and then had lied to my face about it; Lyse and Seerah, both for lying to me about who they really were and for keeping Zim's presence a secret. I didn't know if they had kept quiet out of some mutual respect for extra-terrestrial life forms, but it still irritated the crap out of me all the same; and I was pissed beyond all reasoning with Zim. Not only had he pulled this stunt to prove something to me, he'd gotten my sister involved. I didn't know how much she'd actually willingly gone along with, but I knew Zim could be manipulative, and I also knew that he didn't care what happened to bystanders so long as he got his way.And then came that niggling little voice of reason, the one that told me I really wasn't being fair. Well, I told that little voice, I didn't give a shit about being fair. Zim's pride had gotten us into this mess, and he was damn well going to figure out how to get us out of it. If the easiest path was trussing Zim up and handing him over to Aevinr, then I was going to do it. It was the least the bastard deserved for ruining yet another thing of my life that I had almost begun to enjoy.
But you missed him. Admit it. You missed Zim.
I closed my eyes against my own reflection, mostly because I didn't want my subconscious to make my reflection talk to me. I hated arguing with myself, because I couldn't very well punch myself in the face if I said something I didn't like. I didn't miss Zim. I missed Zeke. That quiet kid who was incredibly smart, who never really seemed to have a problem doing anything, or take offense because I called him names or ignored him in favor of someone else. I missed Zeke, because I'd grown to like him.
And that made me hit my forehead against the cool glass. I'd talked to Gaz about Zeke. About liking him. And she'd known exactly who Zeke was, and hadn't bothered to put an end to the charade at that moment. There had only been a sister's understanding of her brother's confused feelings. There hadn't been any indication that Gaz would've ever told me. And I was positive that Zim had just been waiting for the right time to have everything blow up in my face so he could gloat about it. If Seerah hadn't kissed him like she did and pissed off her bodyguard, I would've gone through the semester never knowing that the kid I was developing a crush on was my enemy. That Zeke was actually the one person that I had been trying to get away from.
I opened my eyes and saw Seerah's reflection in the glass. She looked somber, like she was doing all she could to stay strong when all she really wanted to do was cry. I didn't know what she'd be crying for - it was her damn fault her time on earth had been cut short and so would the lives of innocent people. I hated her in that moment, because I felt that she was playing the victim, rather than the catalyst. She'd been acting this way since we escaped from the dorm and booked it to the physics building. Lyse had broken off too, like Zim and Gaz had done, leaving me to protect Seerah. Not that I really wanted to do that right now. More so since I was unarmed and Aevinr's goons had the plasma rifles.
"Have you ever considered that maybe Zim really wanted to learn?" Seerah asked suddenly.
I looked at her reflection and gave it a scoff. "Zim doesn't learn anything that won't give him an advantage over me."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Of course I'm sure."
"Really?"
I whirled to face her. "What is with the questions?" I demanded. "What part of 'Zim is a self-centered egotistical bastard' didn't you get? He did this because he wanted to prove he was able to hide right in plain sight in front of me, without me noticing! And he succeeded! I was starting to like Zeke, someone who doesn't even exist, and because of you, I end up kissing my enemy and getting involved in a race war!"
Seerah didn't flinch. She kept looking me in the eyes with a neutral expression. "What makes Zim so different from Zeke?"
I gaped at her. "Are you not listening or are you blatantly ignoring what I'm saying?"
"All I understand is that you're pissed off because your enemy, as you call him, managed to not only fool you for a few weeks, but also managed to bruise your ego because you started falling in love with his alter ego. So for you to be this pissed off about it, and to be making up your own reasons for why he did it, makes you seem like the egotistical bastard douchebag."
I gaped some more.
Seerah continued, "Did you maybe, just once, think that Zim might've genuinely wanted to learn about the planet he's stuck on? And maybe he chose here because he knew you were here and therefore it was safe? He isn't the first Irken defective to choose to do that, you know. Most go insane and eventually kill themselves due to the sheer solitude of it all, but he has you and Gaz to keep him grounded. You take that away from him and there's no telling what he'll end up doing."
"You talk like you know other defectives." I said snidely.
Her expression didn't change. "One of my ancestors was an Irken defective. She escaped being terminated by killing half the Irken population. That's why they turned to cloning as the primary way to proliferate. She destroyed the breeders and took the secrets with her."
Now I stared at Seerah. She wasn't lying. I knew that, somehow instinctively. It scared me, because she was saying her race had essentially evolved from the Irkens. "Does Zim know?"
"He knows. He's kin to us, really. His time on Earth has changed him, both physically and mentally. He's evolving, though he's not helping any by speeding up the process. Remember when Zeke collapsed? That was his self-experimentation catching up to him. Were you even paying attention to him all the years you were together? Did you not notice any changes at all? Height, color, number of limbs, anything?"
"No," I admitted softly. And I hadn't. He'd always looked the same to me, even if he had gotten a little bit taller. "I never thought about it before. He was just always Zim to me."
Seerah finally moved, rubbing her face in an annoyed gesture. "If you look closely, you can see he's changed. He's still changing. He's evolving right before your eyes and making himself sick in the process."
"Why? He's never cared before."
"Because he wants to be with you, dolt. You're the reason he's here. The reason why he's never left Earth. You really don't believe he's staying because he still believes he's going to conquer this planet, do you?"
I shook my head. I didn't want to believe what she was saying. I turned around to stare out the window again. Seerah watched me, then heaved a sigh and went to go sit in one of the chairs that occupied a small piece of the upstairs floor. I watched her sit, then focused on the scenery outside the window, watching what shadows I could. I was essentially alone with my thoughts, and they were turning traitorous.
What was the difference between Zeke and Zim? Besides the lies so easily told, they were the same. It was like Zeke had been Zim's way of being normal, of being able to express his true self without anyone thinking he was weird. To show his intelligence, without being feared as something inhuman. It had been his way of being included, maybe? I cursed quietly and scrubbed my face with my hands. Wasn't there a saying that the closer you are to people the less you notice them changing? I never noticed at all, never saw that maybe Zim's outbursts and violence towards me was his way of keeping my attention. I didn't notice anything different about him, except the change in height and the fact he'd started taking more interest in his appearance. I'd always thought that was normal. But maybe what I hadn't seen was Zim's fear.
I know it seems silly to suddenly start thinking like this, but the more I thought back the more it started to make sense. As we had grown up, Zim hadn't had many friends. He didn't want them, or need them, so he claimed, but he'd always kept close to Gaz and me, as if we were the only ones he could trust. Maybe it was true for him. We were the only ones who had been with him from the beginning. He knew us the best. Knew me the best. I'd been with him since he first came to Earth, so it was me that he'd bonded with, despite our rather toxic relationship. I hadn't noticed him changing physically, so maybe I hadn't noticed him changing emotionally, either.
I'd fallen in love with Zeke.
But maybe the person I really loved was Zim.
I was so confused, I didn't know what to think.
I tensed as I heard movement behind me, and looked up to see Seerah behind me. She was watching the stairwell, the only entrance to our floor, and the building itself. I moved over to her, standing close just in case we needed to run and get out of there fast. Lyse appeared, carrying a large duffel bag over his shoulder. His face was bruised, like he'd managed to escape a fight. He looked at me, gave me a wink, then looked to Seerah and gave her a short bow.
"How was it?" Seerah asked quietly.
Lyse dropped the duffel to the ground. I heard what sounded like heavy machinery cracking against each other as the bag settled on the ground. "About like we imagined it. Aevinr has his men surrounding the campus. And I mean, the entire campus. Not even a mouse could get through. He hasn't figured out where we went yet, but when he finds we're not in any of the dorms, he'll come hunting, and he's got men out looking for Zim."
"Were you able to hear anything else?"
"Other than he's going to take us home and make sure dad hears about your liaison with the filthy inbred clone, no, not much beyond the fact he's going to make sure Zim lives long enough to know he's being hung by his own squeedlyspooch."
I felt the blood drain from my face. "He won't actually do that, will he?"
Both Seerah and Lyse looked at me. "Of course he would. Aevinr takes pride in how many Irken he can kill. He's gotten pretty imaginative in his ways of torture." Said Lyse.
"Be happy in the fact they're still looking. If they'd caught him, they would've splattered him all over campus by now just to send a message." Seerah added. She lifted her hands and cupped her brother's face, studying his wounds. "How bad were they?"
"Rookies." Lyse said with a grin. "They weren't expecting me. How'd you manage to hide a cache that big anyway?"
"A woman never reveals her secrets, little brother." Seerah crouched then, and opened up the duffel bag. Lyse crouched beside her. "But I'll tell you, it wasn't easy."
"What's in there?" I asked, crouching down to join them.
Seerah reached into the bag and pulled out a semi-automatic rifle, the same kind I'd seen Aevinr's goons carrying around. She handed it to me and asked, "Please tell me you know how to use this."
I took the gun in my hands, feeling the weight of it. It was heavier than an Earth gun, made out of some strange metal alloy I'd never seen before, too. But the make was similar enough that I could figure out where the safety was as well as the trigger. With an expert hand I clicked off the safety and checked the chamber, smirking a little as I realized there was no actual bullet there, just a capsule of compressed irradiated liquid. Deadly when in contact with flesh; it literally melted you into a pile of goo. I engaged the safety and looked at Seerah. "I can manage."
So sue me if I don't want to look like an even bigger douchebag in front of the alien princess and her brother.
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