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A Tale of Jaguars	By : Aline Category: +S through Z > Thundercats Views: 13095 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own Thundercats, or any character or event associated to it, and I'm not making any money from this fiction.

Chapter List
- 21
- 22
- 23
WARNINGS: This contains Slash, and abuse, as well as mpreg. It is dark and treats themes only for mature audience, such as sex with a minor. Do not read if you don’t like it.
*Disclaimer: I don’t own Thundercats, or any character or event associated to it, and I’m not making any money from this fiction.

CHAPTER 22. NEW ARRIVAL.
Two more days passed and Tygra was getting nervous. Mai was due to enter labour any time now, and she was not making things any easier. She wanted Jareid at her side, and had threatened with harming herself and the cub she was carrying if she couldn’t see her prince. Jareid had sworn that as soon as the cub was born he was going to strangle her. The cub’s safety was the only thing preventing him from killing her as it was. If Tygra hadn’t made clear that he wanted the cub unharmed, and suffering as less as possible, Jareid would have forced the blasted female to give birth himself. At the very least he would have cut her open and got the cub out by then.
Xiar and Bengali were also very stressed. Mai would turn what should have been a normal birth into a high-risk emergency. There was no way to force her to calm down without risking the cub’s health. Everyone wanted the cub born already, so they could get rid of the mother.
Tygra was only slightly aware of the problems that Mai had been causing the shamans. He was mostly getting anxious over his own possible reaction to the new cub. He was not a female, and his hormones were back to normal and stabilizing. He would be able to smell Mai in the cub and his instinct was not going to recognize it as his. He knew that he was not going to be as attached to the third cub as he was to the twins. Bonding would be difficult, and he was not sure that the device that the Shamans had provided Mai with was going to be any help. The cub was going to be confused, and what would happen if it didn’t recognize his voice or heart beating? He imagined that it was quite different to listen a heartbeat from outside the womb than the constant one of a mother. Besides, Mai could have neglected to use the recorder, and then the cub wouldn’t have any reference to identify Tygra as any other than a stranger, and consequently a threat.
The possibility that the cub wouldn’t bond with him worried Tygra immensely. He had fought to save this cub. He had technically begged to be allowed to raise it and give it a family. He didn’t want to treat this cub any different than his twins. He would care for all three cubs in the same way, even if he had to push his instinct down. He swore that this cub was going to be as much his child as the twins were. Now, if only he could be sure that he would feel that way when the cub would be actually in his arms, he would feel much better.
Another thing contributing to his anxiousness was thinking about the nobles’ reactions. He had been sequestered in the rooms for a long time, and had not cared to listen to any gossip that could be around in the palace, but now he was starting to think that he should be aware of it. Since his talk with Xilara, he had realized that the oldest families had much influence in the leadership of the clan, and they could make trouble for him or his cubs. He would have to deal with them, Jareid was not going to rule alone, he was his mate, and he had duties and a role to fulfil. His cubs would also be exposed, and needed to learn how to deal with the court and the expectations that would be placed on them.
Tygra feared the moment that they’d present the cubs officially before the council. In his mind there was no way that the jaguar nobles wouldn’t see that his twins were very different from Mai’s cub. They would realize at once that the youngest cub was pure jaguar, and they would see him more fit to be the heir. Even when the law established that the first-born was to hold the title, they would disagree.
And they would make it evident. They’d press for it until the cubs would get dragged in the conflict. He had lived through much the same situation in Thundera not to know how it would end. Tygra didn’t want his cubs to feel pressured to compete with each other. None of them should be forced to show his worth to anyone. He wasn’t going to allow Itzamma to be slighted the way Lion-O had been. He would not have a repeat performance of his brother’s life in Thundera’s court. He would protect his cubs from that fate. All three of them.
He found himself begging that Mai’s cub was a female. A female didn’t have any right to hold the title of heir. Nor to the head of the clan. It would save them some of the problems, though there would always be some nobles that would wish for the female to have been born a male, and that would show their disappointment clearly.
Tygra was worrying over all of this, and some other possible problems that kept popping in his head, as he dressed Akbal in a sleeping suit. It was raining and the temperature had dropped a bit. Akbal made funny noises of protest and squirmed in his hands. His little black cub didn’t like to be covered. Tygra succeeded however, and picked Akbal up, cradling him lovingly against his chest. Akbal yawned, and his tiny hand fisted on his dad’s shirt. Tygra kissed his son’s head and hummed a lullaby to make him sleep. After a while, he finally laid his cub in the bassinet. Then he realized that Jareid had been extremely quiet.
He had been so preoccupied with his own thoughts, that he had lost track of his surroundings. His mate was supposed to give Itzamma his milk and dress him for the night. Tygra didn’t expect to hear Itzamma, but Jareid commonly talked, and made all kind of noises while tending to the cubs. The tiger looked around the nursery and scowled. He hadn’t noticed the moment when Jareid had taken out a mat, and had extended it on the middle of the floor. The jaguar prince was lying on it, face down, and supporting his upper half on his elbows. Itzamma was under him, lying on his back, in such a way that father and son were staring directly into each others’ eyes.
Tygra blinked and tried to comprehend what was happening. Both the jaguar and the cub were completely still, and Jareid had a look of utter concentration on his face. Tygra couldn’t believe it.
“What are you doing?” He demanded. Jareid didn’t move from his position.
“Sht! Don’t distract him!”
Tygra gaped. He was about to go and retrieve Itzamma, when his cub suddenly yawned and closed his eyes as consequence. Jareid did a small gesture of triumph.
“Yeah! I win!”
“Jareid, tell me that you were not engaging on a staring contest with our cub!”
“Oh, come on Tygra! He loves it!”
“Are you insane?! Give me back my cub!”
Jareid lifted himself up and carried Itzamma to his dad. Tygra practically snatched his little cub from his very immature mate’s hands, and proceeded to check him over. Itzamma yawned again and tried to cuddle against his dad’s chest, one tiny fist going directly into his mouth. Tygra made sure that his cub was unharmed, and ready for the night, and then went to put him in the bassinet, grumbling about demented princes that made staring contests with little cubs.
Jareid went and surrounded Tygra’s waist with his arms in a tight embrace once both cubs were safely in the bassinet. Tygra growled at him in annoyance.
“Come on. Don’t be so stuck up. You were blabbering the other day about giving him more attention.”
“That’s not what I was referring to! I want him to start moving more, not to stay quiet for hours!”
“Calm down. I know you are worried, but there’s nothing wrong with him. He is not falling behind in development; he just doesn’t like to make a big fuzz. Let him advance at his own pace.”
“Jareid, this could be serious…”
“Come.”
Jareid pulled Tygra away from the bassinet, and turned him around so they stood face to face.
“You have to stop comparing Itzamma to Akbal. He has nothing wrong Tygra. Maybe he’d take more time to do some things, but that doesn’t mean that he’d be incapacitated! Don’t pressure him. He’ll get to where you want him to be. He’d only take his own time to do it.”
Tygra pressed his lips unhappily. He looked towards the bassinet and sighed. Itzamma had been an easy cub, maybe he shouldn’t be complaining about it.
“I’ll try. It’s just… I can’t help worrying.”
Jareid nibbled his ear and then leaned down, trailing kisses along the tiger’s jaw.
“Let’s go to bed. I’m going to make you forget all your worries.”
Tygra groaned. He wasn’t in the mood; he was too tense to think about sex. Jareid snaked his hands inside the tiger’s shirt and started dragging him to their own bedroom. Tygra sighed and tried to focus only on Jareid’s touch. His mind was overloaded with worry, and he needed a break. Fortunately, Jareid had always been an expert on making him forget the rest of the world.
&&&&&&&
As soon as they arrived to the bedroom, Jareid’s hands quickly pulled Tygra’s shirt up and disposed of it. Then, he grabbed the younger cat’s thighs and lifted him effortlessly, aiming for the bed. Tygra grunted when his back hit the mattress and he lifted his hips reflexively when Jareid pulled on his pants. He had a moment of discomfort, thinking that he was far too easy to undress, before Jareid was over him, already without shirt, and attacking his body urgently.
Tygra squirmed and gasped as Jareid’s mouth sucked the side of his neck and the jaguar’s hands seemed to be all over his body. Jareid’s mouth went down, fastening on a nipple and sucking, his teeth at times grazing and then biting hard enough to leave a mark. His hands stroked the tiger’s flanks lusciously, gripping a buttock from time to time and playing with them. Tygra had one hand fisting Jareid’s short mane, and the other ripping the sheets. Jareid continued going down, his tongue trailing a path along Tygra’s belly and circling the navel. Tygra pushed his hips up, legs already wide apart and itching to move. Jareid grabbed the hips and pinned them to the mattress. He blew over the tiger’s erection and licked the tip playfully. Tygra moaned and his thighs went over Jareid’s shoulders, opening them wide and crossing his ankles at the jaguar’s back. Jareid licked the length of Tygra’s shaft a few times, then he passed his tongue on the stripped cat’s balls, at the same time he inserted a finger in the tiger’s arse, pushing almost forcefully for entrance.
Tygra tried to relax. His abdomen was healed now, but Jareid always left him sore and aching nonetheless. He gasped loudly as Jareid inserted a second finger and found his prostate. The jaguar prince teased his mate with his tongue and fingers for long moments. Tygra was panting and ready to pull on the jaguars’ mane to force him to do more than just lick. Suddenly, Jareid took hold of the tiger’s thighs and pushed them, changing the angle of Tygra’s hips enough to run his tongue along the crack of the tiger’s arse. Tygra whimpered and flushed scarlet red, both his hands fisted on the sheets at his sides and he moaned as Jareid continued licking. This was one of the things that he wasn’t comfortable with. Oh, it felt delicious, no doubt about that, but it was so… wrong… and dirty. Tygra felt mortified, and guilty as hell for feeling pleasure in the act. Jareid’s tongue just felt so good. It licked around his entrance a couple of times, and then went in. Tygra mewled. He didn’t dare protest. Jareid would tie him down and then continue doing it. He closed his eyes tightly and breathed in both relief and disappointment when Jareid moved again to continue teasing his cock and balls.
The jaguar’s mouth finally closed on the head of Tygra’s member, and proceeded to shallow it slowly, an inch at a time, sucking on it until it was fully inside his mouth. He sucked two times and then pulled himself up and let Tygra’s erection go. The tiger whined and was about to protest, but Jareid stopped him with a possessive kiss on the mouth. Tygra shuddered and remained pliant under Jareid’s bulk. Too soon, the jaguar broke the kiss.
“Turn over.”
Tygra made an anguished sound but obeyed. He didn’t like to be taken from behind. It reminded him of the first time Jareid had claimed him. It made him feel helpless, and it was worse when Jareid tied him.
Once Tygra was facing down, the older cat took a moment to retrieve the lubricant from one of the drawers. Then he positioned himself between his mate’s open legs. Tygra was shivering. Jareid knew that it was part fear and part anticipation. Tygra didn’t like to be taken from behind, but his body enjoyed it all the same. Jareid wanted his mate to feel good and relaxed, so he put his hands on the tiger’s shoulders and pressed. Tygra gasped, and then moaned as Jareid worked on his tense muscles. The jaguar’s hands went down and up again, massaging and teasing the sore spots on Tygra’s back. He leaned down and kissed the youth’s jaw, the back of the neck, and the shoulder. Tygra’s muscles loosened and he groaned in complete bliss. Jareid smirked, and knelt up. He gave a playful slap to Tygra’s butt, and the tiger jumped.
“Hips up Tygra! Keep your head down.” He ordered.
Tygra obeyed reluctantly. He feared what Jareid did to him, and felt horrible for wanting it at the same time. He was grateful that no one would ever know of his dilemma. He was going to deal with Jareid alone, and in time he may get to the point where he stopped to be so embarrassed. At the moment though, he had just one pressing concern demanding his entire attention. He gasped and clenched his eyes shut as Jareid’s fingers invaded him. The lubricant made the entrance easier, but Tygra still struggled to accommodate Jareid’s size, so he thanked the gods that the older cat still took the time to prepare him.
Jareid’s fingers worked for a few moments, until the jaguar felt that his mate had loosened enough. He pulled his fingers out then, and grabbed Tygra’s hips in a firm hold. He positioned the tip of his erection at the tiger’s entrance and pushed with a hard movement of his hips. Two thrusts, and his length was buried entirely inside his tiger. Tygra cried out in pain and gasped as his inner muscles tightened around the intrusion. The feeling was overwhelming, and Tygra gave a deep breath, getting used to his mate’s shaft inside him. Jareid gave him a minute to compose himself, and then started to move. Back and forth, slowly at first, but acquiring momentum with each thrust. Tygra half moaned, half howled, when Jareid found the right angle to hit his prostate with each penetration. He started to move too, rocking back and forth, in a desperate effort to keep with Jareid’s pace. The jaguar growled in appreciation and increased his rhythm. Tygra’s moans grew louder. He was so close.
An acute noise called for his attention through the fog in his mind, and he turned his head to the bedside table. Jareid’s communicator was vibrating and a red light blinked insistently. It was an emergency call. He grunted along with his mate, and both of them tried to ignore the noise. Jareid’s hold on his hips tightened. Just a few more thrusts and the jaguar would be done.
Bengali’s voice was heard in the room. Tygra had a second of absolute horror before he realized that it came from the com.
“Jareid! Come here immediately! Mai is about to give birth, and we’re having problems with her!”
Jareid cursed loudly.
“Ben, this is so NOT a good time!” He roared. Under him, Tygra groaned. The tiger released, but was completely sidetracked by the interruption, and utterly frustrated.
“I don’t care! I need you here NOW! Both of you! She’s putting the cub’s life in jeopardy, and she knows that she won’t be allowed to keep him or her!”
Jareid cursed some more. He stilled all motion and tried to feel something besides absolute anger at the world. He was ready to tell Bengali to fuck up when Baal’s voice replaced the Shaman’s.
“Jareid! I don’t care what you’re doing. You leave it this moment and come here to collect your cub! I want it out of her reach as soon as it’s born!”
“Goddamnit!”
He invented other colourful curses, as he had to pull out from Tygra’s body, completely put out by then. Tygra couldn’t help it. He started to chuckle as he let himself fall on his side. Jareid growled, looking angrily for some clothes.
“Talk about bad timing!” Said Tygra between strangled chuckles. Jareid growled at him and slapped his butt.
“Ow!”
“Get your arse up! He said both of us!”
“Coming… Just let me… think straight… Go ahead, I’m behind you.”
Jareid shook his head and stalked to the study, still grumbling obscenities.
“I’m going to kill the bitch. I’m sure she’s doing it on purpose!”
Tygra chuckled some more, and then made an effort to collect himself and find his clothes. He had to go with Jareid. The jaguar prince was murderous, and Tygra couldn’t let him kill anyone, no matter how much they deserved it.
&&&&&&&
Bengali’s nerves were at breaking point. For the first time in his life he thought he understood what Jareid felt when he was so angry that he just had to beat someone into a bloody pulp. He couldn’t believe what Mai had done. Honestly! If they weren’t already taking the cub away, he would declare her unfit to take care of it. Someone like her shouldn’t be allowed to be a mother!
She had started labour about eight hours ago, but she hadn’t told anyone. She had just demanded to see Jareid, and had barricaded herself in the bathroom until he appeared. As she had been doing that frequently for the past month, Jareid had simply had enough and had refused to go get her out. He had had more important things to do than coax a crazy female out of a bathroom.
Mai had decided that the universe was against her, and that she was going to give birth to her cub in the bathroom, and stay there until Jareid materialized at her side. Sarai would have happily left her there the entire night, if she hadn’t heard the noise that indicated that the female was actually giving birth. Xiar had forced the door open and they had had to drag Mai outside, kicking and screaming, and already pushing the cub down the birth channel. She had called them all thieves and had demanded her mother to be at her side, claiming that she wasn’t going to allow them to pass her cub as the tiger’s. No one knew how she had gotten the information. They didn’t have time to inquire on it either. They had to concentrate on getting the cub out of her alive.
They had had to restrain Mai, and now they were doing everything they could to accelerate the birth. The cub was in pain. The amount of anxiety and adrenaline that Mai was exuding was a hazard for the newborn. The mild sedatives weren’t working efficiently, and the strong ones would make matters worse. They would have performed a caesarean if the cub’s head hadn’t already been practically emerging from the birth channel. Mai was moving as much as she could, doing everything in her power to impede them from doing a good job. Bengali would have cursed her with Shaman magic if he hadn’t been entirely focused on getting the cub out of her.
Jareid entered when the cub’s body was starting to emerge. Bengali had a moment of complete irritation at the prince, who couldn’t have bothered to wait outside just a few more minutes. He however wasn’t going to waste time berating the jaguar. The cub’s survival was priority there. Thankfully, Mai stopped her squirming and yelling as soon as she heard Jareid’s angry growl. She apparently was convinced that the prince wouldn’t allow anyone to take her cub away. As soon as Mai relaxed, the cub seemed to slip out the rest of the way, crying loudly.
Bengali didn’t lose time severing the cord and taking the cub to clean and check up. He barely made sense of Mai’s renewed screams behind him, demanding her cub. She was silenced quickly though. With the cub out of her, there was nothing that prevented Xiar from forcing her magically into sleep. Ben did the check up round fast. He hastily cleaned the cub’s respiratory tubes and throat, careful to not hurt the little form. Measurements were taken and he permitted himself to sigh in relief upon confirming the sex. When he was sure that the cub had no breathing problems, and that apparently everything was as fine as it could be, at least physically speaking, he wrapped the still crying cub in a blanket and got out of the delivery room in search of the younger tiger.
&&&&&&&
Tygra was speechless. He was faintly aware that he needed to move and do something, but his brain just couldn’t recover from the shock. He couldn’t do anything but stare, gaping, at the cub that had been metaphorically dropped on his lap. A cub that was orange, and stripped, and every bit a tiger cub. His mind was trying to reconcile itself with the impossible fact that he had a tiger cub in his hands, and failing miserably.
Eventually he forced his eyes away from the crying cub and looked around in bewilderment. He was alone. Why had Bengali left him alone after giving him the cub? He deserved a bloody explanation damnit! Frustration and anger cleared a bit of the fog in his mind, and he realized that the cub was still crying. He made an effort to move and lifted the cub to rest upright against his chest. He started to rock back and forth, trying to soothe himself as much as the cub.
“Shh, little one. It’s ok. No one is going to hurt you.”
He mumbled the lullaby that he sang to the twins and patted the little cub’s back comfortingly. It was a girl. His mind had managed to grasp that much before freezing into shock upon seeing her. Bengali had babbled something else, but Tygra couldn’t remember what. Hell, he hadn’t even realized that Bengali had left him alone. Maybe the white tiger had given him some explanation, but he had not been in the best condition to listen.
He looked around the room again, suddenly grateful for the solitude. He was not sure of what he would have said to whoever could have been with him, but it would have involved screaming, and probably an argument would have ensued. He didn’t want to scream or fight when he had a little cub in his arms.
He hugged the small body more closely, trying to put the tiny head over his heart. The little girl was still sobbing inconsolably, but she seemed to be calming down. Tygra decided to take her to the nursery. He wanted her safe before he went to find Bengali and demand explanations.
“Come on little one. You’re going to meet your brothers. I’m sure they’re going to like you. My little Ixchel.”
&&&&&&&&
Ixchel was a bit larger than the twins. Tygra thought about moving the three of them to the big crib, so they wouldn’t be crowded. First though, he had to tend to his newborn cub. She was calmer, but she wouldn’t stop sobbing, and Tygra feared that she had been hurt somehow. He tried to recall Bengali’s words when he had handed over the little cub, but after a few moments he had to give that up. He couldn’t actually remember Ben saying anything coherent besides ‘She is a girl.’ He berated himself over the fact that he could have missed something important because he had been unable to process the cub’s appearance faster.
He carefully manoeuvred the cub into clean nappies and a nightshirt that fit her. He was annoyed to notice that they didn’t really have girl’s clothes. For all the talking and hoping that Mai had a girl, they had only truly prepared everything with boys in mind. Tygra was starting to feel guilty as hell. He promised to himself that he would be more careful from then on, and to pay more attention to all three cubs’ needs. He was not going to neglect any one.
He had the opportunity to inspect Ixchel thoroughly. The little girl’s fur was orange except for the face and belly. She had an incipient black mane on top of her head, barely a few strands, but enough to know that it will be abundant. She was already opening her eyes, which were the same colour as Tygra’s. The only thing she had of a jaguar was a line of broken spots running down her column. Tygra was simply baffled. He wanted an explanation. He had been told that Mai had used one of the pure samples, and she would have known which one was Jareid’s due to the labels. There was no reason for Ixchel to look like him!
It took a while for the little girl to fall asleep, she kept whimpering and sobbing every time that Tygra attempted to put her down in the crib. She was very distressed, and Tygra supposed that his own mood wasn’t helping to calm her. Finally, after nearly an hour, Ixchel fell asleep, and Tygra lied her down in the crib. He moved Akbal and Itzamma with her, arranging all three cubs in a row. Snarf jumped to the rail, and after a moment of consideration landed at the foot of the crib. He had more space now, and he purred in contentment while he curled and made himself comfortable.
Tygra looked at his three cubs pensively. He still felt deeply shaken. How could this have been? Save for the few strands of black mane and the line of spots, Ixchel could have been a carbon copy of him. Well, maybe not to that extent, she was a girl after all. Maybe he was exaggerating?
He didn’t know what to think. He had been fully expecting Mai’s cub to be a pure jaguar, and he had been blindsided pretty bad. Maybe there had been a mistake, and Mai had been stupid enough to pick his sample instead of Jareid’s? It was a long shot, but Tygra’s brain couldn’t come with any other explanation at the moment.
He was mulling on it, trying to convince himself that he was worrying over nothing, when Akbal moved and started to wriggle unhappily. Seconds later he mewled, demanding milk. Ixchel woke up and the crying started anew, Akbal joining in, startled to hear another cry so close to himself. Tygra gaped. For a moment he was at a loss about what to do, or which cub to hold first. He outright panicked when Itzamma started to frown and opened his little mouth as if preparing to cry too. He quickly pulled Ixchel out of the crib and managed to hold her on one arm before reaching for Akbal. He awkwardly tried to rock both crying cubs, walking away from the crib, while Snarf promptly soothed Itzamma.
Tygra looked around, pinpointing the bottles of milk and hurrying towards the service table before realizing that he couldn’t grab a bottle with both arms full of cubs.
“Arrrrg!!! This can’t be happening to me!”
He turned towards one of the bassinets and put Akbal down, intending to calm Ixchel a bit first, but Akbal cried louder and arched his back, demanding attention immediately. Tygra changed cubs in desperation, and tried to reach for the bottle while rocking the bassinet with his leg. He was grateful when Snarf climbed into the bassinet and started to groom Ixchel’s head, managing to low down her screams enough for Tygra to focus on Akbal.
The tiger tried to give his cub the bottle of milk, but Akbal was too upset he refused to take it. Tygra was ready to pull out his mane. He didn’t even realize the moment Jareid entered the nursery.
“Hey. Everything all right? This looks like some kind of crisis.”
Oh, do you think so genius? Tygra growled and the first thing out of his mouth was:
“What bloody took you so long?!”
Which had the undesired effect of making Akbal scream again, followed closely by a wail from the nearest bassinet. Tygra gritted his teeth and looked upwards, nearly crying too. Jareid went to him and grabbed the nape of his neck. Tygra had a moment of horror, feeling his arms going lax and loosing his hold on Akbal, but Jareid had already caught the cub with an arm and pulled both of them against his own body.
“Calm down. Jezz, Ben said you’d be pretty out of sorts, but I thought he was exaggerating.”
Tygra growled again. He could still hear Ixchel crying in the background, and Akbal sniffling sadly. Jareid didn’t relent his hold, forcing his mate to take a breath and relax. Tygra eventually made a distressed sound, signalling that he wanted loose.
“Are you better?”
“She’s crying. And Akbal needs his milk.”
“Leave Akbal to me.”
Tygra hesitated, but he didn’t have another choice. He picked up the fallen bottle when Jareid let go of him. He changed it for another one, and handed it to his mate before going to the bassinet to get Ixchel out. He paced the room, rocking her gently, while Jareid finished calming Akbal and gave him the bottle.
Jareid took care in massaging Akbal’s tummy. His cub hiccupped a few times, and then sobbed in misery. Jareid frowned. He should have called Saixa as soon as they had left for the Shamans’ wing, so Tygra would have had someone to help him while he had discussed things with his father. He gave Akbal some pats on the back, and his cub seemed to settle. He made sure that there were no more hiccups before laying Akbal back in the crib. The little cub turned around, looking for his twin’s heat, and snuggled against Itzamma, falling asleep almost immediately. Itzamma yawned, giving no indication that he had been disturbed by all the excitement around him, and continued sleeping. Jareid smiled indulgently at his sons and then turned around to see if he could help his mate.
Tygra was sitting on the rocking chair with the little girl leaning on his chest. He had attempted to give her a bottle, but she had refused it. She was still sobbing and restless, and Tygra was falling asleep. Jareid approached them. He remembered that they had agreed to call the cub Ixchel if it was a girl, and he thought that Tygra had had time to inspect and bond with her. He was just reaching towards the cub, intending to carry her to the crib, when Tygra started and growled at him, turning in such a way that he was hiding the cub from the reaching hands. Jareid grumbled, not liking his mate’s reaction. Tygra’s protective instincts were supposed to be quelled already. He changed targets and grabbed the tiger’s neck to make him relax. After a moment, recognition appeared in Tygra’s eyes, and he abandoned his defensive posture. Ixchel whimpered and made unhappy noises as Tygra reasserted his hold on her. Jareid scowled.
“You have to sleep, you are tired.”
“I can’t leave her in the crib. She’s gonna cry again. I think she’s scared. She doesn’t really recognize my heartbeat. I don’t know what to do.”
Jareid showed his teeth. He grabbed Tygra around the shoulders and under the knees and lifted him from the chair. Tygra yelped and tightened his hold on Ixchel.
“What are you doing?”
“You need to rest. It’d calm her down too, and she will get used to you.”
He carried both of them to the master bedroom and deposited them on the bed. Tygra curled on his side, careful to not crush the cub. He felt awkward, but was too tired to protest. He fell asleep as soon as he felt Jareid’s body pressing into him from behind.
&&&&&&&&
Ixchel’s cries waked Tygra up. He looked around, confused for a moment, before focusing on the wailing cub. He sighed. There had been too much crying last night. He had a newfound appreciation for Itzamma’s quietness.
He got up and carried Ixchel with him. She needed a change of clothes and milk. He hoped that she accepted the bottle this time. He walked to the nursery, barely noticing that it was well into the morning already and that Jareid was not in bed.
Tygra found Saixa in the nursery. She had given Akbal and Itzamma a bath, and she was finishing cleaning. Itzamma was sleeping in the crib, while Akbal was rolling around happily in the ample space that the new sleeping arrangements provided him. Tygra looked lovingly at his two sons, and apologized to Saixa for not being there earlier. The female dismissed his apology with a waving hand, saying that it was no big deal. She would have to take care of the cubs alone more frequently if Tygra was to return to his usual activities. Then she zeroed on the new cub that Tygra was carrying and hurried to hand him a bottle, and a small music box. Tygra lifted an eyebrow in question.
“Bengali said that it’s a recording of Mai’s heartbeat. It’d be easier for the cub to calm down. She has been listening to your heartbeat for some hours, with this the probability to consolidate the bond would be stronger.”
Tygra smiled in appreciation and turned the music on, putting the box close to Ixchel’s ears. The little girl calmed a little and her eyes opened, looking towards Tygra’s face awkwardly. Tygra changed the box for the bottle of milk, and tried to give it to Ixchel while Saixa held the music box still close to the cub. Ixchel however turned her head around, and wriggled unhappily. Tygra groaned. He was going to lose his mind. What was he going to do if Ixchel wouldn’t bond with him? Saixa looked at the desperate cub attentively, and pointed out that the little girl was trying to latch on Tygra’s nipple.
The tiger flushed bright red and tried to hold the bottle between his chin and shoulder, so the angle would be more or less right for Ixchel. He moved the little head accordingly to guide it to the tit. Ixchel bit it awkwardly, didn’t like the position and let it go again. Tygra felt that both of them were going to end up with horrible pain in the neck. Saixa helped him to hold the cub up, and he changed the bottle to his armpit, holding it as firm as he could. Ixchel finally took the tit and sucked, and Tygra wanted to cry in relief.
“It’s going to be a pain to feed her like this every time.”
“Don’t worry, you’d find a more comfortable position. She’s going to get used to the tit, and would accept it more easily.”
“I hope so. She was very distressed last night.”
“Well, she was pretty much used to listen to two heartbeats from time to time. It would have been a shock for her to suddenly find out that the one that had been more constant was gone. Now that she had listened to it again, she has probably recognized you as a parent.”
Tygra sighed. He had not allowed himself to deal too much on the situation, but now that Ixchel was physically there, it was unavoidable. He had tried to not acknowledge the guilty feeling in his gut while holding Ixchel. The more time that the little girl spend with him, the more Mai’s image kept popping in his head, and he was starting to feel like a bloody kidnapper. What had given him the right to take a cub away from its mother? It was not right. What had happened to his principles?
Those thoughts led Tygra to consider again the other glaring fact he was worried about.
Ixchel stopped sucking and wriggled a bit. Tygra readjusted his hold on her, and went to change her clothes and nappy. Saixa had her first good look at her and her eyes widened in amazement.
“Wow. She looks almost like a pure tiger cub.”
Tygra sighed, and answered surly.
“Yeah. That’s kind of worrying me actually.”
Saixa lifted an eyebrow in question at him, but seemed to quickly reach her own conclusion.
“Oh, I don’t think you have anything to fear from Jareid’s reaction. He has raged enough about what Mai did, he’s not going to blame you. If anything, he would be pleased at the cub’s appearance.”
Tygra looked towards her, intrigued.
“You think?”
“Of course. As much as he has been bitching about Mai and how much he wants her dead, he’d be pleased that he won’t have any subtle reminder that she actually carried one of his cubs. Even if he knew that Ixchel is not really hers, if she had inherited more of the jaguar looks he would have inevitably link her with Mai. But, she looks like a tiger, so Jareid now can happily forget about Mai’s participation in her birth. It was really good luck that she got more from you.”
Tygra was speechless. He had never considered how would Jareid could affect this particular situation, but of course he would! And the more he thought about it, the surer he was that Jareid had something to do with Ixchel’s looks. He gulped and tried to not show how upset he was working himself into.
“Of course. I had not thought of it that way.”
Saixa beamed at him, and then helped him to change Ixchel’s nappy. Tygra tried to focus on his cubs and not dwell in the certainty that was now firmly set in his mind.
&&&&&&&&
Jareid returned to his set of rooms around lunch. They had dealt with Mai, and even when he was not satisfied, he was at least accepting his father’s judgment. For now. If the insufferable twat dared to put a foot in the city again, he would deal with her personally.
He walked directly to the nursery, and stopped. He had not talked to Tygra yet, or see the new cub properly. He had only seen enough to confirm that she had Tygra’s colouring. Bengali had also assured him that everything had resulted according to plan. He had a little girl that looked nothing like her mother. That pleased him immensely, but Ben had told him that he should be wary of Tygra’s reaction. The tiger prince would very probably be pissed and Jareid would have to be very convincing when explaining his reasons, or he would have a very loud explosion in his hands.
Jareid was at a loss about why the cub’s appearance would upset Tygra, or why would the tiger react so strongly to it. Ok, he hadn’t asked his opinion beforehand, but he thought that they had fixed the problem rather nicely, and that his mate should trust him to make the better decisions. Though, he had also learned to trust Bengali’s assessment of Tygra’s reactions, so he was trying to be prepared for whatever his young mate could throw at him.
He entered the nursery quietly, and found Tygra standing beside the crib, with one cub in arms, looking as if he was considering the safety to put said cub down. The tiger turned to him when he coughed quietly to get attention, and immediately growled. Jareid lifted an eyebrow at his mate.
“Tygra?”
“Don’t get close Jareid. I swear…”
The cub made an unhappy noise, and Tygra bit his tongue trying to low down his voice and rocking his arms to calm it. Jareid could see that it was the girl. He gave another step, and Tygra tensed, baring his teeth. Jareid’s eyes narrowed.
“Tygra…”
“This is your doing, isn’t it?” Tygra hissed in the lower voice he could manage.
“What?”
“This!” Tygra moved his head emphatically to point at the cub he was carrying, and glared accusingly at Jareid. “She’s not supposed to look like this! She should have nothing of me! What did you do?!”
The girl whimpered in discomfort, and Tygra made an effort to breath and stop the scream that wanted to escape his throat. Jareid put a hand on the crib’s railing and looked sternly at his mate.
“Ben and Xiar both agreed to do it. It was for the best Tygra.”
“The best!”
Ixchel started to cry. Tygra changed her position, and put her head on his shoulder. He started to pace along the nursery, making soothing noises. Jareid waited until the cub had calmed down again to continue.
“You know perfectly well that I had no desire to accept the cub. Not if it wasn’t yours. The shamans fixed that!”
Tygra glared at him in resentment. The tiger gritted his teeth and walked to the crib again. He kissed Ixchel’s forehead and laid her down next to Itzamma, praying that she wouldn’t wake up. He waited a few moments, looking intently at his three cubs, until he convinced himself that he could leave them for some minutes without any one crying. Snarf mewled at him as if reassuring that they wouldn’t be alone, and Tygra finally sighed and looked up to focus on his mate. Jareid was going to speak again, but Tygra didn’t intend to have this discussion over his cubs’ crib. He snarled at the jaguar and turned around to get out of the nursery. Jareid rolled his eyes and followed his tiger.
Once in the hall, and with the door of the nursery firmly shut behind him, Jareid grabbed Tygra’s arm and stopped him. Tygra growled and snapped at him.
“Let go Jareid!”
“No! What’s the matter with you? Why are you so upset over this?”
“Upset! Of course I’m upset, you idiot! Let me go!”
Tygra made a circle with his arm and managed to disengage Jareid. He made a beeline for the door to their rooms, trying to put some distance between them and the nursery. He got as far as the sitting area, before Jareid grabbed his arm again, more firmly this time, and turned him around. Tygra gasped as his mate held him by both arms, too close to his face.
“Stop it Jareid!”
“Why are you so worked up over this, Tygra? You wanted the cub, I gave you the cub! You wanted me to be more involved with her, I fixed things so that could happen!”
“She didn’t need any ‘fixing’ you dumbass! She’s not a machine, or one of your fancy technological gadgets! You had no right!”
“I’m her father! And I have the right to choose whom I want to have cubs’ with, and I never wanted Mai! I had the right to have her out of my cub!”
“Who are you to say that? You’re not a God! Don’t you understand? It was completely unnecessary! Ixchel could have been seriously hurt!”
“Who gave you that idea?”
“I talked to your mother!”
Jareid felt a bit sidetracked by that. He scowled and bared his teeth in annoyance.
“Pray tell what could my mother have told you that led you to believe that the cub could be hurt?”
“She told me what they did to ensure that they wouldn’t have a black jaguar as heir.”
Jareid froze for a moment. His lips formed a tight line and he let Tygra go.
“It wasn’t the same.”
“Why? Because it was you the one who wanted it?”
“This has nothing to do with that! They only took Mai out of the equation!”
“They manipulated Ixchel’s appearance! Don’t tell me that Mai couldn’t possibly have black fur genes in her, even if that were true, your genes were also there! As queen Xilara explained it, you could have killed her!”
‘It would have been better.’ The retort was on the tip of Jareid’s tongue, but he swallowed it at the last second. He didn’t need to upset Tygra even more than he already was. He did growl though, and his eyes brightened in fury.
“She is not dead! And she’s yours now. Ben did an excellent job! Why are you so worried for something that didn’t happen?”
“Would you have allowed them to do the same to Itzamma and Akbal?”
“Of course not!”
“Then why you did it to Ixchel? How could you?”
“I told you, she wasn’t yours! I couldn’t let that be! I had to do something, and now she’s as yours as mine. WE are her parents, and no one else! And I don’t regret it, so don’t expect me to apologize for it!”
Tygra bit his lips and clenched his fists tightly. He wanted so much to punch Jareid on the face at the moment. He couldn’t believe the utter disregard the jaguar could have for a life.
“You fucking bastard. You wouldn’t have cared, would you? You would have been happier if she had died, so much better for you!”
He said it with bitter resentment, and that stopped Jareid on his tracks. The jaguar breathed deeply and tried to think of what would calm his mate.
“Look, I accept that I didn’t really give it much thought. I didn’t consider much about the idea, and I certainly didn’t even remember what my mother went through. I just trusted Ben with this. I knew Xiar was going to help. They wouldn’t have hurt her. Ben would have told me if it couldn’t be done. She is fine, Tygra. No one is going to look at her twice now and doubt that she is your cub. I really didn’t think farther from that.”
Tygra growled between gritted teeth, not in the least mollified. “And it so happened that it was convenient for you.”
“Yes, I won’t deny it. It was convenient for me. I didn’t want to look at her and growl in sudden fury. I didn’t want to be reminded of Mai.”
“Or the fact that we technically stole her cub from her.” Said Tygra bitterly, a great deal of his anger transforming into guilt. Jareid looked confused for a moment before giving a snarl.
“We didn’t steal anything. Have you forgotten what she did? She was the one who stole from us! I only recovered what she took from us!”
“But she’s still Ixchel’s mother.”
“She’s not! That’s the whole point Tygra. She should never have been that cub’s mother, and now she’s not! Mai took something that didn’t belong to her. It was ours from the beginning. That’s why it needed fixing.”
Tygra averted his eyes, still too conflicted over the entire situation. Jareid huffed and grabbed him by the arms again.
“Look, what is done is done. Ixchel was not hurt. She looks just as she should, and I’m the happier for it. She’s yours. Please don’t think otherwise. Not now.”
Tygra growled in annoyance at both Jareid and himself, because his reasons were starting to make sense and he didn’t want that. He turned around and his hands went through his mane, not knowing what to do to make Jareid understand his displeasure. He was starting to get confused himself. Jareid tried not to lash out.
“Tygra…”
“I just can’t… You don’t understand, I can’t accept that you thought yourself justified in doing what you did. That it was ok for you to do it just because it wasn’t me the one who would have to go through it. That only tells me that you really wasn’t considering Ixchel as yours, maybe she wasn’t even a real cub for you.”
Jareid suddenly went at him from behind and surrounded him with his arms, trapping him into a tight embrace. Tygra gasped, reminded of how much stronger than himself Jareid was. Jareid’s low growl was very clear in his ear.
“You’re right, she wasn’t. I’m not like you on that aspect Tygra. I didn’t want to think about a real cub. And she wasn’t real until I heard her crying in the clinic. Which is why I needed her to resemble something I could get involved with. Would you have wanted me to get angry every time I saw her?”
And just like that, Tygra remembered the violence Jareid was capable of. How much it had taken for Jareid to acknowledge that they were going to be raising three cubs. How worried he had been of Jareid’s reaction to the cub’s appearance. He didn’t think that he would have gotten his act together if Jareid had insisted on rejecting the third cub. He shuddered in sudden fear, thinking of what Jareid could still do to a defenceless cub. He grumbled dejectedly.
“It doesn’t make what you did right.”
Jareid’s hold tightened and Tygra felt like he was going to break his ribs.
“Don’t defy me over this Tygra.”
“I-I’m not! I… Please stop…”
Tygra gasped and moved his head to the side, so Jareid could bite his neck. The jaguar did so, hard enough to draw some drops of blood. Tygra groaned and remained passive. He didn’t want to fight physically, only to make his mate see that one didn’t play with a life in the way he had done. It was not right. But he didn’t know how to drive his point home. The only thing that worked with Jareid was physical contact. He tended to disregard moral dilemmas as other cats’ business. It was best to let him calm down.
After a few moments, Jareid licked his mate’s neck and breathed in his essence. Tygra was still tense, but didn’t fight him. Jareid loosened his hold a bit, so his tiger could breath more freely.
“Listen Tygra, I’d never hurt a cub. I promise you that. But I got the distinct impression that you wanted me to do more than just ignore Ixchel’s existence.”
“I didn’t mean for you to mess with her genes!”
“Quiet Tygra.” Jareid growled again, and Tygra understood that he was reaching the end of his rope. The tiger stayed still and Jareid continued talking. “I could never have treated her the same as the twins if she had stayed a pure jaguar. It wasn’t going to work. It would have been more trouble than it was worth, and everyone would have ended up figuring out the truth.”
Tygra closed his eyes painfully. For him the situation was a direct result of Jareid’s inability to adequately process emotional challenges. He was too used to just make problems disappear when he show his displeasure. Jareid turned him around and held him at arms’ length once more.
“You see that it was necessary? Tygra?”
No. He didn’t see it. Nothing would ever justify putting a defenceless cub at risk. Not to him. He wanted to argue, but it was going to be useless with Jareid. Besides, the jaguar was right in one thing. It was done. Ixchel had been lucky enough to survive a potentially deadly procedure. Tygra didn’t know what he wanted from Jareid. The jaguar couldn’t undo what was already done. But he still felt very upset, and he glared his reproach at the older prince, who answered with a frustrated growl.
“Tygra, I’m warning you.”
The tiger gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, but offered his neck to his mate at the same time. He was not going to defy Jareid. He was accepting his dominant’s judgment, but he was doing so under protest. Jareid bared his teeth at him, and licked the mark he had already done.
“You’re not convinced.”
“No.” Tygra tried to push away from Jareid’s body. He didn’t want the other’s closeness. He wanted to be alone.
Jareid wanted to shake his mate until he saw sense. He didn’t know what else he could say, or what Tygra wanted. He was going to need help.
“Tell me what you want Tygra. What do you expect from me? How could I make you see what I’m seeing?”
Well, he wanted to know that himself. Tygra simply didn’t share what seemed to be the entire jaguars’ clan conviction that Jareid was allowed to do whatever he wanted without repercussions. He shrugged and shook his head. He felt as if he was trying to argue with a wall. He looked upwards and realized that Jareid was feeling much the same. He could only sigh.
“I don’t know. I… I need time to think. I can’t just… deal with it.”
“You want time alone.”
Tygra nodded, and Jareid accepted it. He released his hold on the tiger’s arms and turned around. Let his mate think about it. Maybe he’d see that it had been the best choice. Maybe a bit of Ben’s help could be in order.
Tygra looked as his mate exited the room and then sat down heavily. He rubbed his face with both hands and sighed. He didn’t know how to reconcile Jareid’s ideas and actions with what he knew were inherently right. He refused to just ignore his morals this time. He felt utterly lost.
&&&&&&&
Bengali made his way to the princes’ rooms, thinking about how to explain to Tygra what they had done with Ixchel’s genetic map, and wondering just in what state he was going to find the young tiger. Jareid was upset, and couldn’t really explain to Ben Tygra’s reaction beyond the simple fact that the young prince was not happy. Jareid didn’t understand Tygra’s objections, so he couldn’t explain them, which lead Ben to believe that most of said objections were either moral issues, or emotional in nature.
He sighed when he was at the door to Tygra’s private room. He imagined that the tiger had either retreated to his personal space, or gone to the nursery to see to his cubs. He was hoping that he could talk with the tiger alone. Tygra was not going to vent freely in front of the cubs.
He pressed the button to announce himself. The door opened almost instantly and he poked his head in. He spotted Tygra sitting at his desk, looking his way, with what looked like a medical book in front of him. He was frowning, and had evidently been expecting him. Well, it was not a surprise, considering that every time that Jareid didn’t know how to deal with his mate, he sent the white tiger in his place. Bengali was starting to feel like a bloody emotions-translator for the jaguar prince.
The shaman entered and approached the desk a bit cautiously. Tygra was glaring resentfully at him, and was clearly trying to not let go of his anger. The younger tiger waited until Ben was sitting on an armchair in front of him to talk.
“So, he doesn’t know what to do with me, and he sends you to do his dirty work.”
Ben sighed and massaged his temples with some frustration. “I think he believes that we have some secret code to understand each other. He can’t phantom what he’s doing wrong with you half of the time, so I have to mediate.”
Tygra bared his teeth and snarled.
“How could you Ben?”
Bengali folded his hands in front of him and stared at the book Tygra had on his hands first.
“Are you looking into it?”
“I wanted to have a clearer picture of what exactly you do when you are messing with genetic material, but I don’t understand half the language this book is written in.” He sent the book to the side and glared again at the older tiger. “What I want to know is why you accepted to do it Ben. It’s… I can’t even think of an appropriate word!”
The shaman took a look at the orange tiger’s frowning face, considering the issue.
“First, let’s be sure that we start on the same page. What exactly do you think we did, Tygra?”
The young prince gave a low growl and crossed his arms.
“I had a talk with Queen Xilara a few days ago. She told me what they did to ensure that her first borne didn’t have black coat. She said that black jaguars are especially sensitive to genetic treatments, because they are very invasive. It is already risky to do something like that when the cub is already forming inside the womb, it is doubly so when the cub could have been a black jaguar. It was the main reason behind her many miscarriages! Why would you risk a cub’s life like that? It was completely unnecessary Ben! Why do it, only because Jareid wasn’t happy with the cub’s mother?”
Bengali sighed. Jareid had a certain charm to make everything spin around him. Even Tygra, without him noticing, had made the jaguar prince the centre of his world already.
“Ok. I see where you’re coming from. I did think it was a mistake to not tell you what was happening, but Jareid has some strange ideas sometimes. I wanted to explain you from the beginning what we were attempting. I tried to manipulate the cub’s genes as less as possible. It is a pretty invasive procedure, I was very aware of it, but it was not the same as it was with queen Xilara, besides, her situation was even worse because of the poison she had been dosed with. I didn’t attempt to change the genes that were already in the embryo. It was more like, bringing yours into the equation. I manipulated your genes, trying to make them the dominant ones. I tried to touch the others as little as possible.”
Tygra blinked and frowned, trying to wrap his mind around the alien concept of genetic manipulation.
“You know, I hate this aspect of technology. Couldn’t you simply have limited yourselves to the machines? No one has the right to go and change… something that essential to our nature. It’s just not right. I have the impression that Jareid thinks himself some kind of minor god, and the fact that he can just go and order how his daughter should look does not help at all!”
“I know. Look there’s really very little we could do about that. We didn’t raise Jareid.”
Tygra huffed and stood up. He started to pace along the room in agitation.
“I suppose you are going to tell me that Ixchel was never in any danger.” He said incredulously, and Bengali sighed.
“No. Of course there was danger. There always is. We did do something invasive in an early stage of the foetus’ development. We had to take all kinds of precautions. It was not easy. But Tygra, it was successful. I would have stopped the moment I had seen too many complications.”
“And he would have let you to just stop?”
“He wouldn’t have had any other choice. We are the healers.”
Tygra huffed and leaned on a wall, crossing his arms. He still felt very upset. Bengali sighed and stood up to approach him. He put a hand on the younger feline’s shoulder. This was just another thing, that was very different to Thundera’s views, which the young tiger had to accept.
“We recommended the best course of action. It was to please Jareid, but also to make things easier for everyone else.”
“It is not right Ben. It is so easy to mess with a life. How could you do it and not lose the respect that a new life deserves?”
“It is not ‘easy’. It is not something that the jaguars do constantly. It is just an option we find available to us. The jaguars had dealt with biotechnology long enough to accept its influence in their lives, and they don’t see it as supernatural as you do. It was developed to make their lives easier. They don’t see the point on deny themselves such great help.”
“I think they are taking it a bit too far.”
Ben sighed. It was easy to say that the shamans knew what they were doing. But Bengali knew what Tygra feared. The line between responsible use of biotechnology and believing themselves gods was very slim. He however, liked to think that the shamans had enough presence of mind to not cross that imaginary line.
“Maybe that’s true. I’d like to say that we are not as prideful, or as dumb, as to believe that we are above the laws of nature. That every one of us knows that we are only allowed to twist those laws in rare and dire circumstances. But I can’t speak for an entire city. Not really for anyone but myself.”
“Yet you did something dangerous and uncalled for, only because of Jareid’s wishes.”
Ben sighed and leaned on the back of a couch.
“Well, I did think that it was necessary.” Tygra started to growl again, and Ben lifted his hands to pacify him. “Just listen for a moment, please. I know that there was nothing that strictly required for us to do any meddling with Ixchel’s looks. Normally these kinds of procedures are only to treat health issues, and I agree that they shouldn’t be considered just to appease the parents’ whims, or expectations about their cubs. But in Jareid’s case, well… We were very… reluctant to just leave Mai’s cub be. It was in fact Xiar the one to suggest we could try the procedure.”
Tygra frowned at his friend. He felt suddenly alarmed.
“Xiar?”
“Yes. He… commented to Baal that it had been a shame that Mai had already been more than a month into the pregnancy. If it had been the first week we should have been able to do something more drastic to modify the genetic code. He never stated what could have been done. His sole purpose had been to plant an idea in Jareid’s mind. The prince had been within hearing range, and well, he caught on the fact that we could still do something, and he went to ask me if we could somehow change the cub’s genes.”
Tygra gaped. He couldn’t believe it.
“What? Why would he do that? We had an agreement! They agreed to let Mai have the cub, and that we were going to raise it!”
“Yes. And it was worrying them to no end. In fact, if Jareid had not gotten the hint and pressed for it, I’m pretty sure that Baal would have ordered for us to try anyway.”
“But… I don’t understand why.”
“Jareid was really mad, Tygra. It took a lot to make him not to go and kill Mai. He was still on edge and very angry. He would have been impossible to live with if we would have handed you a cub that looked just like Mai. It would have been worse if the cub had been a male. It only would have taken someone to even hint at the possibility of the cub not being yours, and Jareid would have killed that someone.”
“I… I don’t think that would have happened. I mean… Jareid is not that irrational… Lately he has not been like that.”
“He has more control, yes, but we couldn’t be sure. Jareid is very much unpredictable, and we just thought it would be best not to risk it. Besides, even when he wouldn’t physically hurt a cub, he is very capable of ignoring it. Baal preferred to not give Jareid the chance to be a neglectful, or even abusive, parent. He would not allow that to happen.”
‘Jareid himself didn’t want to take the chance.’ Thought Tygra, remembering his mate’s words. Jareid had been so sure that he wouldn’t have been able to see past the cub’s looks and forget the circumstances, that he had preferred not to even try.
Tygra grumbled in annoyance and crossed his arms again. One shouldn’t have to change their own cub’s looks just to be sure that one would care for it! Ben sighed and approached the younger tiger again.
“Tygra, there was no harm to her.”
“It’s still not right.”
“No, morally it’s not. But your cub is safe now, and she will have a family. A loving family. We did the best for her.”
Tygra looked at the ceiling, still not convinced, but unwilling to drag out a useless argument.
&&&&&&&&
It was after dinner when Jareid entered the nursery again, to find his mate sitting on the rocking chair, looking idly towards the crib. The tiger looked his way when he heard him, and glared at him, even growling a little. Then Tygra looked away and crossed his arms. Jareid massaged his temples and his chest grumbled in annoyance. He walked towards his mate and leaned over the rocking chair, to be at the tiger’s level.
“Are you still mad at me?”
Tygra’s growl was low, and he looked sideways at the jaguar. He hissed his answer, trying to keep his voice low, so he wouldn’t wake his cubs. “Of course I am. You all did something unthinkable. The fact that it turned out all right, doesn’t change its nature.”
“I thought that Bengali had explained…”
“He did. And I understand the reasons. I can even accept that we’re saving ourselves a lot of problems. I still don’t like it, and I’m still upset that you thought it necessary.”
Jareid scowled and caressed his mate’s cheek. Tygra glared at him but didn’t turn away.
“I wanted to give you your cub, how was that not right?”
Tygra gritted his teeth, and looked in front of him sullenly.
“I know you don’t understand my reasoning. There’s only one way I can explain yours to myself. I don’t see things like you, Jareid. I understand why you act like you do, but it’s difficult for me to just accept it.”
Jareid grabbed the tiger’s chin, not with force, just to prevent Tygra from turning his head as he touched the tiger’s ear with his nose.
“What do you want me to do, Tygra?”
The tiger closed his eyes, and started to bit his lower lip, his claws got out and punctured his arms. Jareid didn’t like it, but stopped himself from growling in warning.
“Nothing. I… I don’t know. I’m just upset. My mind is fixated on the fact that Ixchel could have died. She’s not responsible for what Mai did, she shouldn’t suffer for it.”
“That’s exactly my idea. And she won’t, Tygra. Mai is out of our lives now. Permanently.”
Tygra shuddered. He looked towards the crib, and realized that he was not as upset anymore. He had not enough energy to waste on being upset. He only felt a great amount of sadness now. Jareid moved, and put an arm around Tygra’s shoulders and the other under the tiger’s knees, and lifted his smaller mate. He sat on the chair with Tygra on his lap. The tiger growled, but didn’t try to get away, not even when Jareid embraced his waist and forced his head to lean on a broad shoulder. He just stayed passive and let his mate caress him soothingly. He breathed deeply and cursed his instinct that made him feel calm and protected with Jareid’s closeness.
“Your cub is safe, Tygra. She’s ours. Only ours.”
Tygra huffed. He debated whether to tell Jareid what Bengali had told him about what exactly they had done, but it would bring a lot of different problems. He decided to focus on another question instead.
“If she’s ours, then why didn’t you ask my opinion?”
“I didn’t want to fight. You were pregnant and didn’t need the stress. And I really didn’t want to risk you doing what you are doing now, and have to convince you that it was the best.”
Tygra growled to emphasise his displeasure. Jareid’s embrace tightened around him.
“I’m your dominant, Tygra. You should trust me to make the right decision for our family.”
“How can I trust you, if you don’t trust yourself, Jareid?”
The jaguar paused and scowled, sidetracked by the question.
“What do you mean? I do trust myself.”
“Really? What would you have done if Ixchel’s looks couldn’t have been changed? If she had looked exactly like a jaguar should look? Would you have hurt her?”
Jareid’s growl rumbled in his chest, and he bared his teeth. Just thinking about the possibility made him mad.
“Of course not. But I know myself, Tygra. I know that I would have been angry, and I would have as little contact with her as possible. I wouldn’t want her in the same crib as my twins. I wouldn’t hit her, but my anger would have been very obvious to her and to everyone. At the moment there was still the possibility for her to be a male. It would have been ten times worse then.”
“But why? Why not give yourself the chance to have your cub in your arms? Couldn’t you have accepted that she’s your daughter, regardless of who her mother was?”
“As much as I utterly despised the fact that she existed alone, I don’t think so. It would have been nearly impossible for me to just dismiss my anger over it.”
Tygra bit his lips and ducked his head in sadness. Somehow he had managed to oversee the fact that Jareid was a very violent cat. He hadn’t really taken that hideous characteristic in consideration when he had begged for them to give him Mai’s cub. Jareid sighed, smelling the change in his mate’s emotions. He didn’t know what else to do to soothe his tiger.
“Tygra, I have changed many things so you could be happy here. But I can’t change my entire personality. I know how I am. I need you to understand it. I’m trying to understand you too.”
Tygra nodded and lifted his head a little to reach the side of Jareid’s neck with his mouth. He licked his mark there. It had faded a bit, because he didn’t feel the need to mark Jareid as often as the jaguar did him, but it was still there. He had accepted Jareid as mate, and he would be the only one. Sometimes it was harder to be content with his lot, to forget that he had had no choice, especially because Jareid hadn’t grown up with the same set of morals and ethic rules he had. He sighed as he clung to his mate’s neck. Jareid seemed to think that he was forgiven and started to purr and groom his tiger’s short mane.
They stayed like that for long minutes, as Tygra tried to come to terms with something that had no fixing. He had to reluctantly accept the futility of trying to explain his principles. He had not been responsible for Jareid’s upbringing. But he had three little cubs for which he was responsible now, and he vowed that his cubs would not have only the jaguars’ mindset to feed from.
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A Tale of Jaguars