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The Shadow of his Heart	By : Catspeaker Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 12700 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 20
- 21
- 22
Cat's Corner: The long awaited arrival of Leni happens in the second part of this chapter! I hope you all enjoy!
Intense Guilt
That was what Lincoln felt after Lynn had left that Sunday and his eyes fell on Lucy once more. After the whirlwind weekend he had spent with his older sister, looking towards his younger sister as she smiled at him, and looked to him with such devotion on her lips, the guilt of his actions came crashing home.
With everyone present they couldn’t really slip back into their roles of boyfriend and girlfriend once more. But as he saw her through out the day with the rest of the family, as she smiled at him, or gave him a secret touch of affection here and there, he felt worse and worse.
He still felt good about 90% of the weekend he spent with Lynn. He was happy the two had talked about their feelings, and had resolved to be closer to one another again…but in the face of the next sister closest to him, the one that had put so much on the line to confess her feelings to him..The one that had done so much for him when he had felt at his lowest…
He couldn’t help but feel guilty.
He had betrayed her trust, there was no getting around that fact. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he had to. He had cheated on her.
Yet at the same time, he had to think, he probably never would have done so, if it wasn't for Lucy in the first place.
It was the ultimate catch-22 and the ultimate moral quandary he now had to wrestle with inside of himself.
He’d cheated on Lucy, but he’d only cheated on her because she’d changed his perception on his sisters and because of his own psychosis involving his conditioned need to please each of them.
Would he have slept with Lynn had he not slept with Lucy? What would of been his reaction if he’d woken up to Lynn pressing herself up against him and fondling him in his sleep had he not already slept with Lucy?
He’d probably be mortified, shocked, confused at the very least.
That would of changed the whole tone of the rest of his weekend with her. That might of driven him and Lynn even further apart.
But it still didn’t fully excuse his actions.
The extreme irony being, if he hadn't done that with Lynn, they might of never reconnected in the first place! So Lucy helped him get closer to Lynn, by virtue of him cheating on her, but he would of never gotten closer to Lynn if Lucy hadn't seduced him in the first place! Arghh, just thinking about it drove him crazy.
It was a Paradox of guilt that consumed him.
He just had to make sure nothing like that ever happened again. No matter how much he loved them all, he couldn’t just give in to his carnal desires and give it to them with the thin justification he owed it to them, and it was ‘only fair’ now that he’d been with both Lynn and Lucy.
He had to believe in the face of this crushing guilt he wouldn’t falter like that again.
He had to believe it, he had to believe it.
Part of him wanted to confess everything to Lucy, to beg her forgiveness, fall down at her feet, kiss them, tell her how he wasn’t worthy of her love but would she please find it in her heart to forgive him?
And despite those feelings, despite it all, a small part of him did want Lynn. The part of him that wanted to be with Lucy was bigger, stronger, but Lynn had awoken something else in him. He wished he could have them both, as impossible as it was.
No, no he didn’t (yes he did). That was just a greedy part of him speaking.
Nothing good would come of him telling Lucy. It would break her heart and put even more pressure on what was already a strenuous relationship in the first place.
He was such a fucking asshole.
He didn’t deserve her.
Even now as they were laying together in her bed, as she snuggled her pretty little head into his chest with such affection and she squeezed his body so tightly with a need that spoke of how much she missed him after only three days apart, it was all he could to not break into tears on how terrible he was.
They had spent most of Sunday acting the normal brother sister route around their family. Finally, it had gotten late enough, most everyone else in the house had gone to their rooms and Lucy had sent him a simple message. One that said she wanted nothing more than to just lay with her big brother, cuddle him, and breathe in his scent again.
How could Lincoln ever say no to that?
Minutes later, a quick peek down the hall and he'd slipped into her room, finding her dressed in her pajamas, and smiling up at him as he entered.
Her smile melted his heart every time he saw it. It was such a rare thing for Lucy to give to others, yet she gave it to him so freely, so easily. His little sister never failed to let him know how much light he brought into her dark world.
He slipped into bed next to her, and she wasted no time snuggling up right against him, squeezing him as if she could absorb his love into her body through touch alone.
As he brought his gaze down to that long coal black hair, and that adoring content smile on Lucy’s lips while she continued to nestle in against him Lincoln was struck again at how familiar the situation was.
How they would lay like this together when they were younger.
How many times had she knocked on his door and asked if she could read with him when they were young?
She had memorized what day of the week new comic books came out, when Lincoln would come home from the comic bookstore after school with a fresh stack he couldn’t wait to dive into. Those were the day she'd sometimes approach his bedroom door, knock, and ask if she could join him.
Of course he couldn't deny his little sisters anything. Especially Lucy, knowing how introverted the girl was. He'd let her know of course she could! He’d then wait for her to come into the room and close the door shyly behind her.
With her own book in hand, she’d hop up on his bed, curl up with her back against him, and they would lose themselves for an hour or two just reading and enjoying one another’s company.
Even back then, Lincoln was nothing but affectionate to the little goth. He would glance over towards her between switching issues, and see how content she was, that soft little smile on her lips while she was buried in her own imagination. He would see her like that and be filled with the overwhelming urge to make sure she never cried, to make sure she was always safe, the protective instincts all big brothers (or at least all good ones) felt in the face of their younger siblings.
In these moments, so overwhelmed with those feelings he couldn’t stop himself from leaning over and giving her a little kiss atop her head. Lucy would always look up at him, one of her pretty blue eyes typically peeking through her long bangs, and she would smile. The two would go back to reading again, but it would happen again and again, and every time she would blush and smile and seem happier with her big brother in these moments.
It was the innocent open affection of children. Lincoln never had any problems expressing such affection to any of his little sisters. But it was shy, introverted Lucy he had always paid special attention to.
He could look back now and see, see how she had grown to want his attention, and how she would start seeking it out in her own ways.
Even if it was just quietly reading beside him. She soaked up all his affection like a sponge.
Even now, as they laid against one another, as Lucy seemed to bask in the feeling of having her big brother all to herself again, there was something almost innocent about it. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head as if they were children once more. She tilted her gaze up, and just as all those years ago, her bangs had partially parted, she looked back into his eyes with her own pretty blue, and she favored him with that sweet smile he loved so much.
Then she moved up, her long black hair sliding along his body, before her lips met his in a chaste but loving kiss.
She settled back down on his chest once more, laying her hands across it, folding her fingers together as she rested her head on them, cheek down so she could stare back at him with that smile.
“I missed you beloved.” She whispered.
Lincoln blushed softly in response.
Even after being ‘together’ for just over a month now, she could still make him blush so easily with the soft flow of affection she showered him with. Just those simple few words and the sight of her smile made him feel so warm.
Even knowing who she was. The stigma of what their relationship had become. She had truly changed the terms of it. She remained his little sister, but in moments like these she became more. She was truly the mysterious, enticing and affectionate girl he never knew he always wanted.
He squashed down all that guilt, all of it, as much as he could, to focus purely on her.
He responded softly, “I missed you too.”
Lucy didn't seem satisfied with that response for some reason. She suddenly gave him a playful pout and balled her fists up on his chest.
“Lincoln…” she said in almost a whine.
Lincoln raised his eyebrow looking back towards her, “What? What did I do?”
Lucy gave a soft long and belabored sigh. Briefly looking away before she responded.
“It’s not what you did, it’s what you didn’t do. Please Lincoln, I want to hear it.”
Lincoln looked puzzled for a moment, trying to figure out what Lucy meant, before it suddenly dawned on him what she wanted to hear. He felt... embarrassed as he realized it, giving an inward groan as he knew what she wanted to hear, but finally relenting after a moment. Responding with a soft sigh of his own.
“I missed you too honey.”
Lucy gave him the biggest, happiest grin, showing her pretty, white teeth.
Lincoln flushed, rolled his eyes and looked away.
Lucy spoke up, noticing his slight frown, the whine in her voice returning.
“Liinncoolln!”
That was something he had to get used to. Lincoln had always had to put up with a little bit of whining in his life with so many sisters. Growing up he heard it here and there (particularly from Lola, who still used her whine to get what she wanted from him) but Lucy had never done so while they were growing up together.
She had never whined for his attention as his younger sister. He wasn't aware of Lucy whining in almost any capacity. She had always seemed more mature than the rest of her siblings, more composed. She always made it clear when she wanted her big brother's attention, but in her own subtle ways, not through childish whining.
Now though, now as his girlfriend, she would sometimes resort to whining cutely at him. He wasn't even aware when it had begun, but it must have been as early as a week into their relationship.
He was slightly annoyed at just how fucking adorable he found it, but he also absolutely loved the way it communicated her need for him. For his affection, for his attention, for his love.
It was his turn to sigh now, looking back towards her.
“What luce?”
She pouted again.
It was all a game, all for show. The whines, the pouts, tools in the arsenals of women everywhere to use on their boyfriends and even their husbands when they were older. Some strange evolutionary or instinctual behavior girls used on the boys they loved. The boys being unable to resist that soft higher tone of despair, even knowing it was almost never serious.
Their mother still whined at their father playfully, and she was pushing 50.
Even Ronnie Anne, toughest girl Lincoln ever knew, whined at him cutely when they were a couple.
It was all new with Lucy, evidence of how things had progress and changed between them. Her whines, her pouts, she had never used those on him as a little sister (again, the complete opposite of Her Royal highness, Princess Lola), the way she used them on him as his girlfriend however…. God he loved it.
Lucy spoke up from her place on his chest.
“You’re embarrassed Lincoln! Why are you embarrassed calling me Honey?”
Lucy demanded answers. Her soft lips in that exaggerated pout looking up at him, how could he ever resist that? How could he deny anything to them? Even if he wanted to laugh softly looking at them.
She spoke in a softer tone, now slightly afraid, “Is it because...of, you know?”
There was real actual fear there, for as much as Lucy was certain in their relationship, she still knew Lincoln had his occasional doubts, doubts she worked so hard on crushing.
But for Lincoln, it had nothing to do with her being his sister.
Lincoln looked back, his own features softening as he laughed gently. He brought his right hand up and slipped his fingers into her hair as he responded.
“No, No, it’s not that at all Luce.”
Lucy smiled at his affectionate touch, but still looked curious, still wanting to know, why wouldn't her big brother call her by a cute pet name?!
“Then what is it Lincoln? I like it when you call me it.”
Lincoln sighed and stared up at the ceiling. Frowning heavily to himself. The real reason he didn't like it was, kind of petty when he really thought about it. He was embarrassed, he looked back to her, frowning before just finally letting it out.
“It’s because it’s so Lame Luce!”
Lucy blinked several times behind her bangs before she giggled in response grinning again.
“It’s not lame beloved, it’s a little old fashioned, but it suits you.”
Lincoln groaned as he responded.
“You see? You see that? Beloved, of course something so poetic sounds natural and beautiful coming from you. Now that's a great couple pet name! It makes me feel so special when you say it Luce!”
Lucy’s grin had returned to a smile as she stared at her brother adoringly, he didn’t know how much she had taken that as a compliment.
“Thank you, Lincoln, I do ever so try to embody poetry in everything from my speech, my dress, and my mannerisms. However, your chosen term of endearment for me is just as special my beloved.”
Lincoln looked doubtful, then sighed and continued ranting.
“And it's not like all the other good affectionate names haven't been taken either! I mean, I can't call you Babe! That's Bobby and Lori's thing! I’m surprised Lori hasn’t legally changed her name to ‘Babe’ with how much Bobby calls her it! Then there’s ‘Babygirl’ but that’s what Clyde calls Haiku and let’s be real. Baby girl sounds so much cooler coming from a 6’4 black guy with muscles than it does a skinny white guy.”
Lucy actually snerked at that last part, before quipping, “You forget the part where Clyde is as big a dork as you are.”
Lincoln at least smiled a little having made Lucy laugh, but then went on.
“Not exactly like I’m going to call you ‘Dude’ like Luna does Sam. Though, Luna calls everyone Dude, or bruh, and yet what weirds me out the most is how she can make ‘Dude’ sound so loving and romantic when she uses it with Sam.”
Lucy gave a sigh, leaned up once more and kissed Lincoln’s lips briefly.
“Beloved, you can call me any of those things if you want. It doesn't matter to me. Except for Dude, please never call me that. But I like Honey because it was the first thing that came from your lips.”
Lincoln looked back towards her, a slight smile on his features, even with how clearly embarrassed about the whole situation he was, before he responded in almost a whine of his own.
“But the thing that kills me the most Luce...” he paused for dramatic effect...
“It’s what Dad calls Mom!”
Lucy got another grin as she responded.
“You mean the man whose been married and devoted to our mother for just shy of 30 years now Lincoln? That man calls his wife Honey, and you decided to follow his lead with the girl you love? Lincoln, all you’re doing is making me even more happy that’s what you went with.”
Lincoln smiled despite himself at her response. It was a complicated situation when he thought about it, using the term his father used for their mother on the girl he loved.... who was his little sister... but the point she made still stood. She liked it because of its history and because of how it came from him so naturally.
How could he argue with that logic? Even if it made him feel old and lame, and corny when it slipped out like that. But then, Lincoln was a self-described dork, and he knew his sister Lucy's gothic sensibilities, it probably made perfect sense in that dark poetic heart of hers.
He didn't know what to fully say in response, so he just leaned over and kissed her nose. She responded by smiling adoringly at him again and squeezing his body tightly once more as she sighed softly, “It could only be more perfect if our souls could combine into one unique perfect being.”
Lincoln raised his eyebrow, “Like... in that lame cartoon about feelings and crystal people?”
Lucy frowned suddenly and spoke in a flat tone, “That cartoon was not lame Lincoln.”
Lincoln smirked again and rolled his eyes, “I gotta remind myself, you liked that Pony cartoon too.”
Suddenly Lucy's hand was up around his throat, closing firmly, not enough to choke him, but enough to take him by surprise as she suddenly looked up closer to him, speaking in a sudden threatening yet embarrassed and fearful tone, “And you are to NEVER breathe that out to another living soul Lincoln! Not even Haiku is aware of that!”
Lincoln almost choked, partially from surprised, partially from laughter as he held it all back, and put his hands up in surrender, “Okay, okay, come on now Luce, I haven't let that secret of yours out in the 8 years I've known about it.”
Lucy released her grip around his throat, then leaned down to place a sweet and loving kiss against his lips. This one was different from the innocent and chaste ones she'd mostly been giving him this evening, a little more passionate, a little more hungry. But not quite pressing her tongue between his lips. She seemed to be giving him just enough to excite him a little before she pulled back with a satisfied smile.
“I'm glad you understand Lincoln. You see my beloved? You know my deepest darkest secrets and fears, that's why we're meant to be.”
Lincoln looked a little skeptically at her, before he smirked and replied, “Okay Luce..”
Lucy fixed him with a playful stern gaze as she tapped his chest, “Okay what?”
Lincoln gave a playful sigh, rolled his eyes and smiled to her, “Okay, honey.”
Lucy smiled, nestled her head into his chest once more, sighed happily, than replied, “That's what I thought.”
Lincoln brought his arms back up around her waist and gave her an affectionate squeeze. They enjoyed the silence together once more, until a few moments later, Lucy looked up and gave him a serious look. One that said she wanted to switch to a heavier topic.
The playful back and forth banter they had been enjoying was gone with the way Lucy seemed to approach the next topic. She looked almost, scared, as she spoke.
“Lincoln, how did...how did the weekend with Lynn go?”
She sounded honestly curious, but there was clear worry, clear trepidation on her features. Lincoln felt his heart squeeze in his chest, as razors of guilt sliced into it. Once more he was reminded of what a terrible boyfriend he was, staring into the face of the girl who looked at him with such adoration, and now such fear at what he might say.
The fact he looked away for a moment didn't help. He physically felt her wince against him as he did so. He looked back, saw the worry, the anxiety begin to fill her. She was doing her very best to try and remain calm, to look as if she wasn't worried about what he might say, but he could see the instinctual fear in her, fear he might have had too much of a good weekend with their older sister.
Lincoln did his best to comfort his girlfriend. He slowly slid his hand up her back, sliding his digits under the hem of her t-shirt and caressing her bare skin. His fingers slid up to her shoulders and down again as he smiled softly and responded.
“It was good. A lot of fun, a little...complicated.”
Lucy seemed to be enjoying his attempts to comfort her, but she still seemed like she needed more, that last admission of his seeming to set off concern from her.
“Complicated, how Lincoln?”
Lincoln didn't see any way of getting around this part of his weekend with Lynn. He knew the best thing to do was to just tell some of the truth. She didn't need to know every detail, but it might actually help her feel better if he told her the end result of what happened.
He fixed his gaze firmly on where he knew Lucy's eyes were and spoke softly, but in a reassuring tone.
“She admitted it to me Luce. She told me how she felt about me. How long she'd felt that way about me.”
He felt another wince come from Lucy, even with how much he was trying to reassure her. He heard her swallow, felt the shiver of fear go through her as she looked down at him, holding back her emotions, trying to keep a handle on herself. He knew his next words to her would be so important.
She responded, so softly, “H-h-how, how did that make you feel....beloved, what happened?”
Lincoln felt more of those razors of guilt cutting into his heart. Now more like full on barbed wire, twisting and shredding him. Just the way Lucy had said 'beloved' to him has been so unsure. It had been said like she was casting her hand out in the dark, so desperate for him to take hold of it, to let her know he was still her beloved.
He continued to caress her skin, small circles with the pads of his fingertips across the small of her back as he continued.
“I felt, flattered. Very flattered. I have to be honest. You, and Lynn, both feeling that way about me. I don't think I deserve that I--'
Even in her frightened and worried state, Lucy interrupted him gently, placing her hand on his cheek, stopping his doubt as she whispered softly, “You do.”
It stopped Lincoln from falling into his hole of self-pity for the moment, as he nodded, gave a weak smile, and continued, “But, she also came to terms with it.”
That caused Lucy to pause, her head tilting as she looked ever so curious now. Her fear and anxiety was still there, but now she wanted a further explanation more than anything else.
“W-w-what, does that mean Lincoln? She came to terms with it?”
Lincoln breathed in deeply, then brought his other hand up to caress Lucy's soft pale cheek in return, “It means, she says she knows it would never work, and she's okay with not being with me. She doesn't know about you and me, but she said it was a nice impossible dream, but a dream all the same. She's just happy with us being in each other's life again.”
Lucy frowned heavily. Her brow knitted together, her lips pursed.
Lincoln found that response puzzling. He could feel the anxiety and the fear leaving her, the trepidation as well, but it was replaced by something else. Lincoln didn't know what, but Lucy herself even seemed confused by her own reaction to it.
After a few more moments of quiet contemplation, Lucy spoke again in her soft whisper.
“She gave up.”
Lincoln was confused hearing that from Lucy, more to the point how...disappointed she seemed as well.
Lucy was disappointed, and she didn't even know why. Part of her was actually, sad her older sister had thrown in the towel apparently, as if a sisterly part of her was mourning her older sister giving up on a dream...even if it was the same dream Lucy had. But Lucy was also happy too, it meant she didn't have to worry about Lynn when it came to her brother's heart.
She leaned down and squeezed Lincoln tightly once more, sighing out long and loud...”She gave up.”
Lincoln still looked confused at Lucy's response. He continued with his gentle caress of her back as he looked up at the ceiling, “Yeah, I guess, she did.” He paused, frowning to himself before he spoke the next part, “But she made some good points honey. I don't want to cast doubt on things, but she brought up some very real difficulties about the whole....situation.”
Lucy looked up from her position on Lincoln's chest once more, her long pretty straight black hair falling all around her cheeks, framing her face as she spoke up, “Did she even mention Ohio Lincoln?”
Lincoln blinked in confusion, rose his eyebrow and responded, “What? Ohio? Luce, what does that even mean?”
Lucy shook her head, sending a cascade of waterfall like black hair shaking about as she spoke, “She gave up Lincoln. I promise you beloved, I will NEVER give up. I don't care about the difficulties, I know what I want, and I know how to make it come to pass. It involves Ohio, Lincoln.”
Ohio, the State which was immediately to the south of Michigan, it's largest border, and it's largest rival. Ohioans and Michiganders had been rivals for well over a hundred years, from culture to college sports, to a war having almost broken out between the states back in the 1800s over their shared border. The Federal government had to get involved to stop that one. While today, the rivalry was mostly a playful one, most Michiganders and most Ohioans didn't have very high opinions of one another.
Royal Woods to Toledo, the closest biggest city in Ohio was just around an hour away by car.
Lincoln had no idea what Lucy was going on about involving Ohio, he just stared back at her confused, before Lucy took his silence as a sign to continue.
“Sibling incest isn't illegal in Ohio, Lincoln.”
Lincoln's eyes went wide, he blinked several times. All the breath in his body left him. He couldn't actually believe what he'd just heard from Lucy's mouth. They'd never said the I word to each other, despite knowing what their relationship was. Saying that made it feel dirty, and not in a fun way. It was a reminder of what they were doing was taboo and in some ways Lincoln thought... a little wrong still too.
He cleared his throat in disbelief, speaking up, “What...what do you mean Lucy?”
He was using her full name again. He was being serious. Lucy placed both her hands on his chest as she decided to speak plainly on the subject. She'd done her homework, she'd researched this. She'd looked into how making her life with Lincoln happen. She didn't treat it like some fanciful dream, it was something she planned to make a reality.
“I mean exactly what I said Lincoln. There is no law in Ohio against siblings living with one another, sleeping together, or having children.”
Lincoln continued to stare in disbelief, he shook his head…
“No, that can't be... that can't be right. It... There's just no way... The Federal government--”
Lucy cut him off again, “Has no laws against Incest Lincoln. I told you, I take our love very seriously. I went out of my way to research this, to find ways we could be together as easy as possible. We can't get married legally, but in Ohio, New Jersey, or Rhode Island we could live and have a family legally. There's no laws against it in those states, I picked Ohio because...we would still be close to the rest of our family.”
Lincoln was... absolutely dumbfounded. He knew she couldn't be lying or making any of this up. That wasn't the way Lucy was. But it was more the fact she was putting the reality into words for him. She was making the realization of a future reality Lynn had said was absolutely impossible... somehow possible.
Not completely.
A tiny voice spoke up. Lynn was telling you of the other difficulties that make it near impossible still. What the rest of the family would think? What society would think? So many other difficulties in the way Lincoln.
That tiny voice couldn't be completely snuffed out, but he now knew there really was in fact a place Lucy and he could live together, and be together, if they were willing to accept every other consequence of their actions.
After a long silence of being completely stunned, Lincoln tried to speak again.
“Lucy I... I, I don't know what to say.”
Lucy seemed sympathetic to her brother's shock. She hadn't plan on revealing this kind of information to him so readily, she knew speaking about it in this manner placed a more serious tone to their relationship, as young as it still was. There was always a chance it was pressing too hard to fast and it could chase him away, but she also felt it was necessary to show the difference between herself and Lynn here.
She hugged him tightly and spoke back in her tender whisper, “Shh, it's okay Lincoln. I know it's a lot to think about, you don't have to worry about it right now. I just, I wanted you to know, I won't give up, I love you so much Lincoln. This isn't just some flight of fancy on my part, I want to be with you for all of my days beloved.”
Lincoln swallowed, still stunned, but now running his fingers through Lucy's long black hair, having to re-evaluate his whole position on so many things now. He responded with the only thing he could think of at the moment.
“I love you too Lucy.”
Lucy smiled, leaned up, kissed his lips, “Baring that, we could go to France. Incest is completely legal there as well.”
Lincoln gathered enough of his wits and self again to at least sigh and reply with a quip, “Oh, Ohio and France, so the European and American degenerates are cool with it huh?”
Lucy scoffed, frowned a little then poked him hard in the chest, “We belong to those degenerates now too Lincoln.”
Lincoln groaned and placed his hand to his forehead, “Luce, do you have to put it like that?”
Lucy smiled and leaned in, she kissed Lincoln's neck, then his chin, then his cheek, and then she bit his ear. The response was a gasp from her elder brother.
She whispered in her soft seductive manner, her legs parting, thighs sliding over his hips, settling her crotch down right over his own. She knew what she was doing, “There's nothing wrong with being a degenerate Lincoln. Don't you love the way your little sister sucks your cock?”
Lincoln gave another gasp, a shiver running down his spine, already Lucy was banishing the doubts from him as he felt her seductive and sensual body sliding over his own. He felt Lucy kiss just below his ear as she continued to whisper to him, “Don't you love the way she worships you? That she loves being your personal little whore Lincoln? Don't you like fucking me big brother?”
Lincoln's hand had found it's way to Lucy's ass already, slipping into the top of her Pajama pants, sliding down under her panties, grabbing a handful of that smooth alabaster flesh he loved so much, responding almost pained, “God yes, yes I do. Fuck, I love it so so much Lucy.”
Lucy dragged her crotch down hard over her brother's rising erection, teasing him with the promise of more pleasure to come. She gave a soft girlish giggle as she kissed her way to his lips, one of her hands coming up, sweeping back her bangs to let him see her beautiful deep blue eyes staring back into his soul...
“Then be sinful with me Lincoln. Commit to the degeneracy, and your little sister will love you forever, adore you forever, and let you fuck her forever.”
Lincoln could swear he saw the demonic wings sprouting from Lucy's back as she spoke. But right now, being damned with her seemed like the greatest gift in the world.
Section Break
Leni Loud, young fashionista extraordinaire waited in the posh, carpeted elevator of her apartment building in downtown Manhattan. Standing alongside of her, carrying several bags and boxes was one of the apartment’s staff, an older man dressed in a grey bellhop uniform by the name of Miguel. The two were currently engaged in conversation, or rather Miguel was listening as Leni happily talked his ear off.
Leni was a very well-regarded resident among the staff, not only for the nature of her rising star status in the fashion industry and the prestige it brought the building, but also for her rather genial and friendly nature with everyone who worked there.
Leni was kind and respectful with everyone she met, even the so called ‘help’, and spoke to them as people, rather than just staff meant to see to the needs of the tenants. She always had time and a smile for every person she met, that was just Leni’s nature. She never saw herself as being too important to give anyone the time of day, even now with her designs being worn in places like Paris and Tokyo, or on the red carpet of premiere Hollywood events.
She was the same sweet girl who had worked at Reniger’s department store as an assistant manager in her teens, as she was a designer that worked for Calvin Klein, Milly, and Richard Edwards in her twenties.
Currently she was on contract for legendary designer Areo Hillson and his company, with her own clothing line carried by his label known as ‘Leni!’ (The exclamation point was important for the branding she was told).
The contract had been looked over by both her sister Lori, and Bennie’s father and was more than generous to the young woman, with six figures and royalties. Leni didn’t understand all of it, but she knew she was making a lot of money and she was free to design as she pleased. Mostly though she knew she was on track for her plan to leave the industry in a few years.
Not because she disliked it, not at all. Leni loved designing clothes, she loved fashion and outfits, she adored helping people find the perfect ensembles that made them look their best, helped express their personalities, and were perfect for all occasions. She loved designing outfits for everything from fancy state dinners and celebrity events to everyday wear the normal people she grew up with could afford and look great in.
Clothes were Leni’s passion.
Almost as much as the people she loved.
And that was the issue, for as much as Leni loved clothes, loved designing, and even had fun at the fancy fashion shows and events, in her heart she just felt so...lonely.
That was the problem, she loved her family and she missed them. She missed them terribly, and it was only the presence of her sister Luan and her boyfriend Bennie which had stopped her from packing up and returning to Royal Woods her first year of interning. It wasn’t she couldn’t handle the job, she could, she just missed the smiles and hugs and greetings of the people she had grown up with.
Even now she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to return to Royal Woods to be near her parents and younger sisters or move to Great Lakes to be near her eldest Sister and her nieces and nephews. That was going to be the most difficult choice. Lori was the sister she was closest to, and while living with Luan had brought them closer as well, Lori had just been such a constant rock of stability and reassurance in her life. Lori never got impatient with her scatterbrain, Lori always helped her make important decisions, and Lori always made her feel better when she was sad. Even with their daily calls, she missed her big sister.
But she also loved her parents and knew the majority of her sisters were going to stay in Michigan for the foreseeable future and she loved being a big sister to them too. It was a difficult decision.
Only one sibling could potentially swing where she ended up in the end. The only other sibling who was as comforting, reassuring, stable, and patient with her as much as Lori was.
Her little brother Lincoln.
Lincoln in his own way could cheer her up even more than Lori did, and thinking about him, talking to him even just texting with him always put a smile on her face and a warm feeling in her heart.
She supposed Lori would probably like the help of having her around to deal with the children. Leni was great with kids, always was. Because she was a little silly herself as a person she had no problems interacting with children on their level. She'd been told over and over again what a great mother she was going to make. She could be a great asset to Lori and her family, and besides If she lived in Great Lakes she would only be a couple hours from Royal Woods anyway.
Well, that was still a decision a few years off. Not something she really needed to think about right now.
Today Leni wore a long stylish red felt coat that went down past her knees, with a short seafoam green skirt, and seafoam green button top, cinched by a soft red sash in the middle. Her fingernails painted to match. Seafoam green had always been her favorite color, because of how it matched her eyes.
Leni was distinct among her siblings in that her eyes were a soft green, unlike the blue and brown the others bore. She favored her mother’s hair color, though on the lighter side, a platinum blonde that ran down to her shoulders and curled naturally at the tips. When it came to her figure, she seemed to favor her father’s genetics more. Tall as most of the Loud’s were, she was closer to the naturally athletic build that favored her sisters Lynn and Luna like their father, however her curves were more generous than either of theirs, almost giving her the best features of both her parents. In all Leni had the looks of a young movie star in her prime, with her most distinct feature her ever present, absolutely wonderful smile.
Leni smiled at the world, and the world seemed to smile back at her in response. She lit up every room she entered with her joyful presence, and her willingness to engage with everyone she came across endeared her to so many. She was a rare creature whose inner beauty truly matched her outer, and she had very few people who could say they disliked her. It was just so easy to love Leni.
Even right now, it had been Miguel who insisted on holding the several bags and boxes from the various clothing boutiques Leni had entered the building with, and even then, it had been the Taxi driver who had offered to carry all the bags into the building for Leni without her even asking. People simply saw the bright cheery girl with the affable personality and wanted to help her.
Miguel listened, his arms festooned with bags, boxes in his hands as Leni regaled him with the reason behind her vast purchase of clothes this afternoon. Not that Leni ever needed a reason to buy clothes, they were her favorite thing after all, but typically her purchases were smaller than she had now. Leni was just happy and was apparently celebrating something, that’s what she needed all these clothes for she had said to some effect.
“So, the dark blue dress, it totes works perfect for my sister Lori, like typically lighter blue is her color but with the way this dress works it will compliment her eyes, and I already know it’ll fit her like a glove after she has the baby. Soo important for a mom to feel pretty shortly after birth! This will be her third by the way! Like, none of us believed her when she said she wanted to match Mom’s record, but she’s totes on her way!”
Leni giggled as Miguel nodded his head. Most of the staff were aware Leni and Luan were sisters, and Bennie was Luan’s boyfriend. But more they were aware of just how many siblings the two had apparently back in Michigan.
“Of course, that meant I had to get clothes for my nephew and niece too! I found this cuuutee pink jumper I know Lina is going to love, and Marco is getting so big, he’s going to look totes like a little gentleman with the silk pajamas I got him.”
Miguel spoke up in surprise, “Silk Pajamas, for a three-year-old? Miss Leni, are you sure that’s good with a toddler and how fast they grow?”
Leni playfully waved him off, “I bought them in a slightly bigger size so he has room to grow in them, and besides, why shouldn’t I be the aunt that spoils them? They’re only going to be babies once!”
Leni gave another soft eager laugh as she almost shook happily, closing her eyes, “I’m just so excited! I haven’t seen Lori in person in almost a year now! And not only that, my baby sister Lily is going to be there and my little brother Lincoln! It’s going to be the best!”
Miguel smiled back to Leni after watching her practically vibrate with excitement, “It sounds as if your thanksgiving weekend is going to be a fun one miss Leni.”
Leni sighed happily in response as she nodded, “I haven't seen Lincoln or Lily since Christmas last year, I... I really need this.” Her smiled dipped to being sad for just a moment before it's usual radiance returned.
As the elevator dinged at her floor Leni reached over without hesitation and scooped up all the bags and boxes from Miguel’s grip, all but one which she left in his hands.
Miguel looked back, worried towards the young blonde woman, “Miss Leni, are you sure you don’t need me to help carry that the rest of the way?”
Leni only smiled at the shorter older man, showing off a rather freakish level of strength for her slighter build, “Oh no Miguel, I can handle it from here, like totes thank you so much for helping me in the elevator though!”
Miguel smiled at her and nodded, “Of course Miss Leni, always a pleasure, oh, wait!” He called out to her as she stepped into the hall from the elevator, holding up the box she left behind.
But Leni only turned her head towards him, her arms covered in bags and boxes and smiled again, “Oh don’t worry Miguel that one is for you! Or, for your wife I mean! I saw it and I know the scarlet will bring out her hair! I bet she’ll love it, just say it’s a present from you!”
Miguel knew Leni well enough to know the young woman wouldn’t take no for an answer. It was just her nature, she was always thinking of others, how to brighten their day. He only smiled warmly to her as he stepped back into the elevator, “Thank you miss Leni, you're one of the best.”
Leni smiled and winked before she continued to stroll down the hall, being careful not to drop any of her packages, “Oh of course Miguel, you’re like the best bellhop ever, even if you don’t do any hopping!”
Miguel couldn’t tell if Leni was teasing him or being serious, it really could be either way with her. But he knew his wife was going to love what ever Leni picked out for her. The elevator doors closed on the doorman.
Leni hummed to herself happily, balancing the packages and bags on her arms as she approached the door to the chic apartment she shared with Luan and Bennie. Somehow, she was able to place her knee up against the wall by her door, balancing the packages on them as she fished into her purse for her keys. Her small pink tongue stuck out from the corner of her lips as she finally found the key and slid it into the slot.
The door opened softly and she managed to step in carrying all of her packages at once, closing the door behind her with her foot. Already raising her voice excitedly as she entered the small foyer of the entrance to the apartment.
“Luan! Bennie! You’ll like never believe all the great deals I found---”
She trailed off as she entered the living room. Peeking her head around the boxes and bags she was carrying she suddenly caught sight of a rather explicit scene going on in her living room.
Bennie was in the middle of the floor, completely nude, the young man’s dancer’s physique had every muscle in his body taught. Yet she couldn't make out his face, or his crotch, because they were both covered at the moment. By two women.
Straddling his crotch, obviously riding him and clearly enjoying herself was Leni's younger sister Luan. She’d removed her typical ponytail and her long golden-brown hair was cascading over her bare back. She still had her top on, but her pants and sun yellow panties were currently laying on the floor, cast aside in a heap next to Bennie's clothes.
Luan was leaning forward while astride her boyfriend, her arms around the other woman, who was blatantly sitting on Bennie’s face and grinding herself down on it. Luan was currently sharing a passionate kiss with the other woman. Leni of course knew who it was, it was Bennie and Luan’s old Highschool friend Maggie.
Maggie in many ways resembled their younger sister Lucy to a superficial extent, with dark hair and pale skin. However, she had a few key differences from the Goth girl. Her hair was cut much more straight and angular, and her bangs ended just above her dark eyes. She also had a smattering of freckles across her cheeks, and as Leni saw, her chest too.
Maggie had also been a proponent of the ‘emo’ fashion clique back in Highschool, which Lucy had once told Leni was just a bunch of poseurs who couldn’t commit to the full goth look or lifestyle.
Right now, Maggie’s blacklips were locked against Luan’s pink, and she was topless, exposing her rather generous freckle covered bust, held back by a light blue bra, which one of Luan’s hands were currently exploring. Bennie’s hands were busy with Maggie’s backside, which was just as bare as Luan’s own.
Leni promptly dropped all the packages she had been carrying, and turned a bright pink putting her hands up to her lips, “Oh my gosh you guys! I’m sooo sorry!”
The reaction from the three younger twenty somethings on the floor was to yelp in surprise, and begin scrambling up to their feet in shock, embarrassment and horror.
Well, mostly it was Bennie who seemed to be experiencing all three of those. He grabbed a pillow from the couch, covering his crotch with it, as Luan just started laughing hysterically and even Maggie couldn’t suppress the grin coming to her face.
Bennie stood in front of the girls with his hand stretched forward in apology towards Leni, “Leni! Leni! Oh god, no we’re the ones that are sorry! We sort of got carried away and thought you’d be back later! We can, we can clean this up and—”
But it was Leni who interrupted Bennie, waving her hands back and forth in front of herself, “No, No, no, don’t apologize you guys! Like, I should of known, you all love one another and missed Maggie! I totes should of stayed out longer! Sorry, I wasn't thinking!”
Leni’s blatant statement caused all three of the younger people in front of her to turn a deep crimson red. Even Laun was taken aback some, rubbing the back of her neck, “No, Leni we could of went to our bedroom.” Maggie herself spoke up softly, “Leni, it’s your home and I should of thought—”
Only for the platinum blonde to smile as she approached the three, walked right up to them and grabbed them in a group hug, despite their semi (or in Bennie’s case full) nakedness. She squeezed them tightly like old friends she was trying to reassure, which for Leni, they were.
“Oh, it’s totes alright! No, No, let me get to my room and you like, all continue! I insist, just send me a text when you’re done and I’ll like, totally order us some food!”
And just like that, Leni released them and smiled again, humming to herself as she headed down the hall towards her bedroom.
She left the three standing there, Bennie and Maggie both looking to Luan for direction on what they should do now. Only for both to look surprised as Luan threw her arms around both and grinned, “Well, you heard Leni, she’d be disappointed if we stopped on her account.”
Maggie and Bennie flushed horribly, only for Luan to laugh and continue, “But let’s switch positions, I wanna watch Bennie play hide the kosher sausage with you Maggs.”
Maggie laughed, grabbed the pillow that Bennie was holding onto, and brought it over to smack Luan on the head with it, “Luan! You are absolutely terrible!” Bennie laughed as he watched the two.
Luan only flinched slightly, giggling in response as she answered, “Mmm, but you both love it. Now…” Luan paused, flopping back on the couch, spreading her arms on it while looking to her two lovers, “On with the show!”
Leni closed the door to her room and flopped down on the large soft bed with it’s soft green comforter that was pushed up against the far wall. For a downtown Manhattan apartment, the room was quite spacious, not as big as the one she shared with Lori back home as teenagers, but certainly bigger than the old linen closet her brother had taken over.
She’d actually given the larger bedroom to Bennie and Luan, after much argument from both saying they wanted her to have it. But Leni had been insistent, there were two of them, they had double the things she did, they should have it. Besides she had more than enough in her own room, she had her sewing machine, the mannequin she liked to keep home projects on, a walk-in closet, and her vanity. That was all she needed.
As she laid on her bed all she could think about at the moment was the scene she’d witnessed just moments ago.
Bennie, Luan, and Maggie.
Maggie had come to visit a number of times since Bennie and Luan had moved in, and this wasn’t the first time Leni had caught the three in a compromising position. It was almost cute in a way, during her first visits her sister and Bennie had tried so hard to hide the situation from Leni. Embarrassed about it.
Leni had seen through it in hours of just interacting with them. Leni was perceptive like that. But then she also knew the three from back in Highschool and knew they had complicated feelings towards one another even back then.
It had been funny though, when they argued Bennie would sleep on the couch while Luan and Maggie took the room, only for Leni to find Bennie nowhere near the couch in the middle of the night. No she caught him trying to sneak back out to the living room early in the morning.
After a few incidents like that, the three dropped their pretenses of what their relationship with one another was, at least around Leni. They weren't overly blatant about it, but around her they seemed less embarrassed.
Leni noted though, it seemed as if the three were unwilling to take that last step.
Luan and Bennie were afraid to ask Maggie to officially join them in their relationship. Maggie was too scared to ask them if they would have her.
So for now, she was just their friend, just their best friend, the one they mutually shared outside of one another, and who visited every chance she could. The one they both said tearful goodbyes to when Maggie had to return back home.
They were all bound by traditional expectations of society. Bound by the belief that three people or more could not honestly love one another and make it work. Bound by fear of what their parents would say about them, what their other friends would say about them, what society would think.
It was…so very sad in Leni’s eyes.
She knew the three loved one another deeply. She knew Maggie was suffering the most, being kept out of something she wanted so badly. Being in love with both Luan and Bennie, not feeling complete without them. But she knew Luan and Bennie were suffering too, they weren’t fully complete without her. Maggie's introverted nature, Bennie's ambivertness, and Luan's extroverted personality, they all fit together like puzzle pieces.
Leni understood though. Polyamory wasn't some easy thing anyone could enter into.Leni was often accused of being an airhead, but she understood most people couldn’t function in that kind of relationship. Most people could only fully dedicate themselves to one other person. Just as she also knew some people claimed they could love more than one person and really only said so for selfish reasons. It took a heart that functioned differently to truly make it work. It wasn't better or worse than monogamy Leni knew, it was just different.
The worse examples of the practice had been exactly what had happened to her brother Lincoln. His ex-girlfriend had claimed to be that way when she was lying for her own selfish gains. Just a slut who wanted the excuse to fuck who ever she wanted while keeping emotional fulfillment. Leni didn't like using that word, but she knew in Melanie's case, it was appropriate.
But Leni also knew, in the case of her sister and her two best friends, their love was open, honest and true. But it wasn’t her place to tell them this, she could hint at it for them, but they needed to realize it on their own.
She hoped one day, the three could embrace one another fully.
If Leni couldn’t live her own dream relationship, she hoped her sister could.
Fear of judgment, being told it’s wrong, being looked at as some sort of perverse monster, Leni was all to aware of that. She had experienced it firsthand.
She had experienced it when she told Lori when they were ten she planned to marry their little brother Lincoln. She said she knew she’d have to share him with Lynn, but that was okay, the three of them could all live together.
At the time, Lori had just rolled her eyes and laughed, then told her she couldn't marry Lincoln, but he'd probably be happy if Leni told him she wanted to marry him. He was only 6 at the time, and thought the whole world of his older sisters. Lori assured her she’d find her Prince charming one day. But Leni had already been convinced she had.
Lori wasn’t laughing anymore when Leni told her the same thing again when she was 15. Lori had looked at her with an expression of…worry. She had asked Leni, did she understand she couldn’t do that with Lincoln? That she wasn’t allowed, that it was wrong.
Leni had begged an explanation from Lori, why was it wrong? Why couldn’t she love him? Why couldn’t she be with him? He was the best boy in the world to her, he was always kind to her just like Lori was, he was always willing to help her no matter how confused she got sometimes. He was the sweetest boy in the world and she just had to wait for him to grow up some more.
Lori had only looked increasingly afraid. Lori looked at her as if, as if she was sick, as if there was something very wrong with her. She said she wanted Leni to drop it, but not before asking if Leni knew she couldn’t touch Lincoln, could she trust her not to do that?
Leni had looked horrified then! She knew not to touch him in any bad way! Not to force anything on him! That wasn't love! She said she knew Lincoln was too young for any of that! She knew they had to wait until he was older! Lori didn’t seem fully satisfied with that response, but she had been satisfied enough to drop the subject and just told Leni she wasn’t allowed.
But it was just so hard to ignore how good Lincoln was to her. How good he was to all of them. Lincoln became her primary tutor for her classes. Lisa was the smartest one in the family and had helped tutor her other older sisters on difficult subjects, but Lisa was also impatient. Lisa loved Leni but didn’t know how to handle her ditzyness and how easily she was distracted. Leni had been officially diagnosed with ADHD then.
Lincoln did though. Lincoln knew how to ‘speak Leni’. She had always found that phrase cute, but understood what it meant, her brother knew how to communicate with her on her level and break down things so she could grasp them better. He knew how to hold her attention and get her to focus.
He was the one who helped her get her License, he was the one that made her believe in herself to get promoted at work. He was the one who helped her practice for her college entrance exams. It was always Lincoln.
She understood Lucy and Lynn felt the same way about him. She had realized Lynn was in love with Lincoln before Lynn herself even knew. Leni thought it was adorable. Then she could see the same crush develop in Lucy just a few years later.
She could see it in how much they fought for his attention when he was home. How much they desired his approval. Lynn had to involve Lincoln in every sports activity she did at home. Lucy wanted nothing more than to monopolize her big brother's attention with helping her with her poems and watching scary movies with her.
Leni understood why it was the three of them out of all their sisters who felt that way about Lincoln. They were the ones he impacted most directly.
But one weekend Leni’s emotions had gotten away from her. One weekend she had, possibly ruined everything.
It had been after she had gotten accepted to New York University’s fashion program, and it was all thanks to Lincoln’s help. It was a few weeks from Prom and Leni had begged and pleaded with Lori to let her take Lincoln. They already knew Lincoln would agree, he could never say no to any of his sisters.
Lori had misgivings but eventually relented and gave her permission.
But Leni had needed more after how happy she was. She wanted…She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to know what it was like to kiss the boy she was in love with.
Feeling brave, the weekend of Prom, she slipped into Lincoln’s room hours before they were to get ready. She had approached Lincoln asking him to teach her how to kiss. That was how inexperienced Leni had been, she knew her little brother knew more about kissing than she did. And maybe, she had...acted a little differently than she normally did. Maybe she had made sure she was showing off a little more cleavage, and maybe she had been a little more affectionate with him. But she was just so in love with him even at that point.
And then Lori had walked in while her lips were pressed firmly against Lincoln's own. That had led to the kissing incident, Lori finding out, then her, Lynn and Lucy being made to promise to leave Lincoln alone. To never pursue him.
And Leni had kept to that promise. As much as it hurt, as much as she missed her favorite boy in the whole world, as much as she’d watched him grow up into a handsome young man, and as much as she was confident Lynn, herself, and Lucy could all share him together and all be happy, she had kept to the promise.
Even when she had Lincoln kiss her under the mistletoe last Christmas, she had kept to the promise rather than baring her heart and soul to him, and letting him know how much she loved him.
She had kept to the promise, just as Lucy and Lynn were doing.
However, as she scrolled through her social media, as she saw the number of pictures involving Lucy and Lincoln together over the last month, as she looked at the closeness between the two of them, she began to wonder…
The two of them just seemed, closer. Even more than usual.
Leni was silly, Leni was a little ditizy, Leni suffered from ADHD, but Leni wasn't blind and despite what others thought, Leni wasn't stupid.
She could read between the lines.
She was going to have a conversation with her Linky when she saw him over thanksgiving weekend!

Cat's Corner: Everything mentioned by Lucy involving the incest laws of both the U.S. And France is completely true. Ohio you really can have a 100% legal relationship with your sibling, you just can't marry one another. As a Michigander myself, the laws here are it's a Misdemeanor punishable by a fine or two years in prison! This story has made me do research into god forsaken topics I will never be quite able to fully cleanse my soul from!
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The Shadow of his Heart