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Kiss of Fire	By : Spleef Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > General Views: 75165 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Kiss of Fire
Chapter Twenty – All That’s Needed
I just want to make a couple of things clear after having a couple of readers express their concerns over this or that in the last chapter. No, Zuko did not rape Katara. He's just a stubborn son of a bitch who didn't want to sleep alone, so he slept in Katara's bed but he did not molest her. And the threats he made were only that – threats. He chained her because he knew he would not be able to fulfill the threats he had made because like he says, he has no desire to hurt her. And he unchained her because he knew he had lost, but was not going to admit it, which is why he refused to talk about what had happened.
o0o0o0o
Katara
I lay in bed next to my stepson, looking down at him as he snuggled closer to me in his sleep, clinging to the front of my robe. If he wanted to call me Mama, I most certainly would not stop him. He never had a mother before – at least one that he knew or remembered – and he so clearly needed one, I would be cruel to deny him. And I did indeed love and care for him.
I dozed a little, thinking about what had happened, and what might happen. Would the Fire Lord forever ban contact between the Prince and myself? I stroked Kuzon’s hair to reassure myself. Since Zuko was already so inattentive to Kuzon, would he have the Prince moved elsewhere to continue his grooming and education and bring him back when he came of age?
And what would happen to me? Would I be chained again, or worse? I sighed softly, letting it all sink in. My rush of adrenaline had worn off, and I was shocked at myself for being so defiant. Where had I found such strength to face the Fire Lord in his wrath and not back down?
Passion, fear, and anger were great for giving people strength. There was no denying that the rush of adrenaline given by such strong emotions can rouse great strength from an ordinary or weak person, and the thrill is delicious. But while riding such a rush, one do not consider what will happen once that adrenaline wears off, and are left to face the consequences of ones actions.
Although I had to say, it felt good to slap Kuzon’s dour nurse. I stared up at the ceiling, shrouded in shadows, an arm wrapped around the Prince. I dreaded tomorrow and what it would bring for all of us.
A soft rustle met my ears, and I furrowed my eyebrows. My eyes moved around, and I almost flinched when I saw my husband, standing there by the bedpost at the foot of the bed. I did not speak, and stared at him. He seemed deep in thought.
o0o0o0o
Zuko
Something inside of me told me that my wife would not come to me like I had asked. But I was not going to be alone. I used the secret passageway to her room, wondering if she would be there, or still be in Kuzon’s rooms.
My son’s words weighed heavily on my mind. I felt like a failure – something that I had not felt for years. I knew without a doubt that Uncle would have been ashamed of what I had said and done to my son. Had he still been alive, he would certainly be there to remind me to spend time with my son. He was the father that my sire had never been. And my mother – she was everything that Ozai had not been.
I remember the last birthday I had before my mother had disappeared. It was my tenth birthday, and it was a joyous occasion because ten was an auspicious number.
Uncle was home on one of his visits, and what was better, Lu Ten was there as well. I received a kite from my cousin and a beautiful book from my uncle. I always liked it when they were around. Lu Ten was so strong and handsome, and kind and good-natured, and I wanted to be just like him. He promised me that when he became Fire Lord, I would be his right hand man, and help him rule the Nation. I knew that Uncle also looked at me favorably. Lu Ten was his son, but Uncle did not treat me with any less respect.
Mother had a cake for me, one that was sweet and spicy, and we all had tea with it. Azula was there as well, but she did not seem too happy about it. Grandfather had already sent me well wishes for my birthday and I did not expect him to be here, for he was Fire Lord and had a country to run. But my father was not here. I waited for him. He had not even said anything to me on this day, nor did he seem to care though I told myself that he had just been busy.
It was getting late, and I was playing a game with Uncle while the others watched. When Uncle beat me, we all laughed. Uncle had such a way of winning that did not make me feel bad, and he simply smiled at me, telling me that I would one day beat him. Azula scoffed at that and Mother scowled at her.
Uncle and Lu Ten excused themselves to retire for the evening, but not before both of them wished me a happy birthday, and Uncle promised that he would take me with him and Lu Ten for an outing the next day. How wonderful that was and how I looked forward to it!
Mother had the servants clear away the dishes. She tried to comfort me, telling me that Father was busy, and he certainly would come around soon enough to wish his only son a belated birthday. I saw Azula smirking at me.
“What’s so funny?” Mother asked as she looked at my sister. Azula just shrugged, as if she knew something she was not telling the rest of us. On her last birthday, our father had showered her with gifts and been there for her celebration. She showed him the latest Firebending technique she had learned, and he had given her one of his rare praises.
I went to bed that night without seeing him, and Mother put me to bed, kissing my forehead, telling me that she was sure that he was very busy, and would make up for it the next day.
The outing with Uncle and Cousin was wonderful. They took me to the harbor, where there was a ship being built. I saw the frame, and the head of the shipbuilders led us on a tour. It was fun to learn how a ship was built, and I enjoyed the fresh air and getting out of the Palace.
That night, I was trying to study, but Azula was bothering me. I wished she would just leave me alone and go play with her friends. She pleased our tutors more than I did, and she liked rubbing that in my face. It was not that I was a poor student… I just learned differently than Azula. I preferred to read things for myself and think about them, rather than answer questions about them. Sometimes the tutors asked me so many questions, that it was hard for me to remember them all or remember the correct answer quickly enough, and they did not like that. Azula had an excellent memory, and rarely if ever answered anything incorrectly.
“No matter how hard you study, you’ll never be as good as me, Zu-zu!” she smirked as she leaned against my desk. I furrowed my eyebrows and glared at her.
“Just leave me alone.” I said, not wanting a fight. Azula smirked and leaned closer.
“Give it up. The tutors don’t like you. You’re a disgrace!” she sang. I became angry and jumped from my seat.
“Go away! I don’t interrupt your studying and I’d like the same!”
“What? Me, study? Nah. I don’t need it… unlike you, Zu-zu.”
“I hate that name.” I cried out, raising my fist. She laughed and danced away from me. I chased after her.
“What is this?” I heard my father say as the door opened. Azula and I stopped, and bowed to him.
“Father… I was trying to study, and Azula will not leave me alone.”
“Azula, you should be finding something more useful to your time.” my father said. I was glad, thinking that she would go away.
“I’ve already practiced my Firebending and studied my lessons. And it’s too dark to have my friends over to play with.” Azula replied in her sweet tone, “I just wanted to play with my big brother, that’s all.”
I knew my father would favor Azula. He usually did. She was a Firebending prodigy, intelligent, pretty, and refined. He probably wished she were a boy. I tried so hard to please my father and rarely if ever got any praise from him.
“I don’t want to play with Azula. I need to study.” I stated in a respectful tone.
“You can play with your brother tomorrow. Agni knows he needs all the help he can get.” my father said. It was like a knife to my stomach.
“I do try hard, Father.” I protested, “I study hard, and practice at my Firebending. I try my best, I really do.” I pleaded, trying to keep my voice strong. I was ten years old. I was not going to whine like a baby.
“Apparently, you don’t try hard enough.” he said. I saw Azula smirking at me.
“It’s not funny, Azula!” I snapped at her, feeling angry all over again. Father looked at Azula.
“Yes, do not laugh at your brother.” he said. I felt a little better now that he was defending me. But the next words dashed that hope.
“After all, it’s not his fault. You were born lucky. He was simply lucky to be born.”
My stomach knotted at that memory. I had tried so hard to please my sire, to be a good and obedient son. I had tried to do the right thing, and to be honorable. What had that earned me? A scar and exile.
I would never do such a thing to my son. I thought I was being a good father by making sure that all of his needs were met. I spared him the performances and tests that I had been required to undertake in front of my own sire and grandfather. I had not belittled him, and had always been careful of my words, not wanting to sound like my own sire. Yet, I had said cruel things to him and my wife but a few hours ago.
And I had tried to deny him of a mother. I loved and cherished my mother, and it had brought me unspeakable pain when she disappeared. It had been almost thirty years, and the pain had never left me. I was giving Kuzon the same pain by denying him a mother. How could I have gone this far without realizing what I had been doing?
My wife had her azure eyes fixed upon me, though she said nothing. She probably expected me to separate her and Kuzon. I said nothing, looking at how my son was cuddled up to this woman as I flexed my hand slightly, feeling the tightness of the bandage that encased it and ignoring the pain of the burn that my son had inadvertently inflicted on me.
Kuzon looked so peaceful curled up against Katara. I remember doing the same thing to my mother several times, and how I had always felt so good in her embrace, so safe and loved. Mother had been such a wonderful woman, and her smile was lovely and radiant, very much like that of my wife.
Katara clearly was expecting me to say something. I continued staring at her. She must hate me for all that I did to her and my son.
I left her without a word.
The guards were kept at a long distance, forbidden to enter my private garden. The glow from their lamps did not reach where I was, and I preferred that. I had a lamp of my own, and I set it near my uncle’s marker. I looked down at the stone, wondering what he would say or do if he could see me now. It had been five years since he had died. Though I had enough experience then as Fire Lord and learned enough from him to not become lost without his sage advice, I missed him terribly. I missed his stories, his tea, our training sessions, our peaceful walks through the gardens.
“Why am I a constant failure? Why do I keep losing the people that matter most to me?” I asked, looking down at the marker.
“Mother left. Katara died. You died. Katara came back and now she probably hates me. My son told me that he hated me. I… I tried to be a good father. I tried to not do what my own sire did… and yet, that was also the… incorrect thing to do.” I sighed.
Why did Uncle have to die? He had been so healthy in his last days. After I became Fire Lord, my uncle became more active. When he was not busy advising me or handling affairs of state, he simply enjoyed himself – having tea out in the garden with old friends, going out the Palace to watch plays and gamble. He also enjoyed the company of women and was a shameless flirt, though he treated those who came to his bed with respect. He continued this lifestyle – being a valuable asset to me while enjoying his golden years. The birth of my son brought him much joy and then – one night, he had an attack and died within two days.
“I wish you were still here. You would have been so glad to see Katara here. And Kuzon? He’s healthy and intelligent. He works hard in his lessons. Katara dotes on him. And… I told her not to. I tried to keep them apart. I…” I hung my head, not wanting to admit that I was jealous. Of a child, no less. It was like when I had seen Katara and Aang together, and felt angry towards the child for bring the recipient of the Waterbender’s attention.
How could I have been so blind to what I was doing?
o0o0o0o
Katara
My husband did not come back to me, and I woke up with the Prince snuggling closer to me. I smiled down at him, stroking his hair as he looked up at me. He looked much improved from the night before, and he smiled up at me happily.
“Can I sleep in here every night?” he asked. I chuckled softly at his heartfelt request, rumpling his hair without answering his question. I sent Hinode to Kuzon’s apartment to get him an outfit and the toiletries he needed before I ordered breakfast for him and myself. What would happen today?
I was silent, doing some stretching exercises as Kuzon did his morning calisthenics, then he changed and we ate together. I knew very soon was time for the Prince to go to his lessons, and he looked up at me, clinging to my hand.
“I want to stay with you, Mama.” Kuzon said softly, looking up at me. I was tempted to simply let him stay in my apartments, but I knew he needed to go to his lessons. I would not let Zuko accuse me of coddling the Prince.
I coaxed him to his lessons, promising him that I would come to see him again tonight. He smiled at me, feeling reassured, as his guards took him away.
I received a summons to appear at Court, so I dressed appropriately. My husband said nothing as I greeted and kowtowed to him before I took my seat. During recess, a few courtiers came up to me, telling me how glad they were to see that I was well, and such. I merely nodded, accepting their words. Court went along as usual, and I said nothing, merely staring ahead, my hands folded neatly in my lap.
After the session ended, my husband said nothing to me, and I wondered if I had displeased him enough to permanently ruin our relationship. I sought to meet his gaze, but he avoided it. He merely excused me, and I left his presence with a sinking heart.
Since I was not told to stay in my room that night, I went to his room, but not before I had dinner with the Prince and spent time with him, as I promised. I bathed and dressed comfortably, my heart pounding as I approached my husband’s bedchamber. He lay there in bed, and did not acknowledge my greeting. I approached the bed, waiting for him to turn me away. He did no such thing, so I lay down near him, maintaining my distance. Still, he did not stir.
“Do you wish for me to leave?” I asked hesitantly, keeping my voice low. At first, I thought he would not respond, for he remained silent for several long moments.
“Never.” he finally said in a voice almost too quiet for me to hear. I held back a soft sigh, and lay there quietly, waiting for him to make the next move or comment. The silence was thick and rather than wait or try to press him for an answer, I simply allowed myself to fall asleep.
When I woke up, he was curled up to me almost like Kuzon had been, his head nestled against my chest. I stared down at him with curiosity. Sometimes he was so aloof and distant and at other times, he reminded me of an insecure little boy, though these moments were rare. With his face pressed against my chest as it was, his scar was not at all visible, and he looked completely at peace. At that moment, it was easy to forget all the turbulence in our relationship and I let out a sigh, caressing his cheek. I admired the strong plane of his jaw as I ran my finger down it.
The room slowly filled with light as the sun came up, and his eyes fluttered open. More often than not, he was the first to rise, and his eye fixed upon me as I continued to caress his face. His arm slid around my middle, and I heard him murmur as he hugged me tightly, burying his face against my chest. I stroked his hair, and he continued to snuggle with me. His body was so warm, and it radiated into my flesh.
“My lord…” I whispered, hoping that since he was now in a better mood, we might be able to talk. I wanted to resolve this as soon as possible, or at least start to. As soon as I said these words, he stiffened slightly.
“My lord.” I repeated softly, looking down at him pleadingly, continuing to stroke his hair. He did not reply but lay with me for several moments, before he climbed out of the bed to use the washroom. When he came back, I was still in bed, and I reached for him, looking up at him pleadingly. He stared at me for several moments and I was unable to read the emotion on his face. He climbed onto the bed and looked down at me, though he still remained silent.
“Good morning.” I whispered. I felt his hand caress my cheek. I was not so stupid as to think that he might not punish me at all, for he was an often unreadable, and unpredictable man. I was no closer to figuring him out than when I first married him.
“Are… you angry with me?” I asked hesitantly. He stared at me for several moments, before shaking his head.
“Please… talk to me.” I pleaded. His response was to press his finger against my lips. I complied, and remained silent as he touched my face. He nuzzled and snuggled with me, almost as if he were a little boy, seeking affection.
Breakfast was a silent affair, and when it was over, I spoke again.
“Do you wish for me to appear in Court?” I asked softly. He shook his head.
“Do as you please. Come to me tonight.” was all he said.
I caught up on my duties, performing a household inspection with Ging Lei at my side, and reading reports. But my mind was elsewhere, on my husband and son. Would we always be like this, silent, avoiding the important matter? I had been silent this morning, but I knew that it was an issue that I would have to bring up soon.
I wandered the Palace aimlessly, having no definite goal in my mind as I tried to think of a way to approach the problem. By chance, I passed one of the training chambers. There were several in the Palace, and the Prince happened to be in this one. I stood near the doorway silently, watching as Kuzon did some Firebending exercises under the instruction of Jeong Jeong.
I did not speak much with Jeong Jeong, for outside of his lessons and training, he chose to not socialize much. But he treated me with respect, and I in kind. He was someone I knew I could trust. I could not help but admire Kuzon’s effort as he tried to master a technique. Jeong Jeong was silent for the most part but he did give a comment here and there, and Kuzon listened intently, clearly eager to master Firebending. I could not help but think of Zuko, and the intensity with which he practiced his Firebending.
When Jeong Jeong looked up and noticed me, I quickly bowed my head, starting to retreat. But he put up a hand to stop me, and motioned for me to stay. I was surprised, but did as he asked and knelt near the door to be more comfortable as I watched Kuzon. Finally, the lesson was over, and Kuzon went over to where a towel had been set out for him, and he dabbed his forehead. He took notice of me, and his eyes lit up. I smiled a little.
“You try so hard in your Firebending, Kuzon. One day, you shall become a great Firebending Master.” I said, and he walked towards me.
“Your stances have improved. Continue practicing them, and you will progress to the next level in no time.” the teacher said, and Kuzon smiled quickly before bowing to Jeong Jeong in the way a student would to his teacher. The older man inclined his head.
“I will see you again tomorrow, Kuzon. You may leave.” Jeong Jeong stated, and the Prince did just that. I knew he would most likely be headed to a bath, or some quiet time – for he was always given time to unwind from his physical lessons before supper. I rose to take my leave, when I heard Jeong Jeong ask me to stay. I approached him, sitting in front of him with my hands in my lap. I inclined my head just slightly, as my position was higher than his.
He stared at me intently, but I remained calm.
“Is there something you need to discuss with me?” I asked nonchalantly.
“Kuzon looks up to you.” he stated simply.
“I… well, I try to be a good role model for him. Do you have a… issue with that?” I asked. He gave me a slight, dry smile before he shook his head.
“No. It makes me glad to see that he has someone to care for him.” he stated.
“I try my best.” I replied demurely.
“The point is… you are a good influence on my grandson and his child. Both are happier because of you.” he said. I bit my tongue. Was he aware of the rift between Zuko and Kuzon? As if he knew what I was thinking, he nodded slowly.
“Zuko… has had a very difficult life. He has been through a lot – more than you know, more than even I know. But be patient with him. He’s a good man, and he needs you.”
I looked down at my hands after he said that, not knowing what to say to that.
o0o0o0o
Kuzon
I wanted to go outside. I wanted to take a walk with Miumi – no, Mama – in the moonlight. It was nice to see how the gardens changed under the moonlight. Everything looked so different and mysterious.
“I want to go outside.” I said to Nurse. She continued knitting as she looked down at me. I remember when Miumi had slapped her. I never saw Miumi slap anyone else, but Nurse had been mean to her.
“It’s too late now.” she said. I crossed my arms.
“You always say something to not go outside. It’s always too dark or hot or cold or wet.”
“I am supposed to take care of you, my Prince, and that means keeping you out of bad weather.”
“It’s not bad. It’s nice weather. Here, see.” I said. I held up my thick robe. I thought she would say no or ignore me, but she sighed so loudly that I thought her chest would collapse.
“Very well. You may take a short walk outside, but your bedtime is soon.” she said.
It felt good to be outside. I was warm enough and the cool air felt good on my face. I looked up at the Moon. It was almost full. And I could see it through the clouds. Mama had told me about the lady who became the moon. Her name was Yue and she had been born a person, like Mama or me, but chose to go to the moon. She had sacrificed herself when a bad Firebender tried to destroy the moon.
I walked along the path, listening to the quiet nighttime noises. I heard a cricket, and some birds calling to eachother. Nurse followed me and I knew she didn't like going outside. When I started to walk off the path, she told me to get back on it. Mama never told me to stay on the path and she would follow me off the path and smile when I found something interesting.
After just a bit of time, Nurse said it was time to go back inside. I had not even gone that far! I wanted to see more.
“I don’t want to go back. I want to sit by the pond.” I said. There were two ponds I liked to go to. One was in Mama’s garden, and she said that I could go there anytime I wanted. The other one was in my great-grandmother Aila’s garden and I liked going there because the plants were wild and overgrown.
“It is time to go to bed.” Nurse said, looking very grumpy. I looked up at her as she came towards me.
“… No!” I said, and ran away from her, off the path and into the orchard. I heard Nurse yell for me to come back, but I kept running. Then I heard the guards start to come after me. I also heard thunder, but I kept running. I was not afraid of lightning. One day, I would learn how to make lightning, like the Fire Lord.
It started to rain.
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Kiss of Fire