Beyond The Great Unknown, a Big Mouth/Final Fantasy crossover

I hope everybody enjoyed chapter 1. Thank you to everybody who liked and reviewed. I've done Big Mouth fanfics in the past, but unfortunately none of them got many likes or followers. But I wrote those on a different fanfic site, and maybe not many people frequent that one anymore. In this one, at least, I'm glad to see this story is getting more attention. So thanks again, it really means a lot. 

Anyway, as I promised, this chapter will be longer, and in this one I will start doing point-of-view narratives, going more into the minds, thoughts, and home lives of the characters. This chapter takes place immediately after chapter 1, showing the characters at home. We will see Jessi and Missy talking to their respective boyfriends, as mentioned last chapter, as well as Matthew on the phone with Dewayne, where he finally decides his place at school. Plus Jay returns home and makes a life-altering discovery, while Nick and Maury grow closer as Nick nurses his aching heart, and Devin meets her new Hormone Monstress, and we finally learn, from her own mouth, the truth about not only her 'marriage', but of her secrets and demons, insecurities and hidden depths.

But alas, the crossover part won't start in this chapter or even the next. Like I said before, I'd already written the next few chapters before I decided to turn it into a crossover story with Final Fantasy. But I promise we WILL get there!! 

Anyway, here we go!!!

Chapter 2 

Jessi's POV

Jessi had made it to the front door just as her phone started to ring. Jessi told her mother she had been with friends and lost track of the time. Naturally she didn't tell her the part about sneaking into the old middle school, but at least the friends part was true. Jessi quickly changed, showered, and brushed her teeth, and, after making sure her mother had gone to bed, sat down in her bed and went to Snapchat, and called Camden. She hated having to go to his house to hang out, or having to call him in secret, but ever since her mother had caught her smoking weed with him and his friends, Shannon had been against her hanging out with him and his crew. 

Camden answered almost immediately. "Hey, I was starting to think you weren't going to call. "

"Sorry", Jessi said, laying down on her back on the bed. "The school thing lasted longer than I thought, kind of lost track of the time. It was fun though. I almost cried, remembering all the fun times. It was really an eye-opener. "

Camden laughed. "Well, that's good for you at least. My middle school was a nightmare. Got my first Anxiety Mosquito and Depression Kitty there. "

Jessi gasped. "Oh my God me too!! I first met the Kitty after my dad moved out, cause I stole my dad's edibles and my mom blamed my dad instead of me. I still sometimes hate her for that. And for the way she treated you and Lulu. I hate this, having to go to your house to make out, or calling you when she's sleeping. "

Camden laughed again, although less happily. "Yeah well, at least you HAVE parents. I barely remember mine. They died when I was like 5. Car crash."

Jessi gasped again. " Oh God, Camden. I'm so sorry, that's TERRIBLE!!!" Jessi realized with a shock that she'd never asked Camden about his family or history. They'd just sort of started hanging out and smoking weed, then slowly eased into making out, then into a relationship. She had never thought to ask him about his childhood or upbringing. She suddenly felt like a shitty girlfriend. 

Camden sighed sadly. "Yeah, it was hard the first few years. First I spent about a year in an orphanage, then sort of bounced around between foster homes till I settled in with a good one. I think the first few years I was still too shocked to process what was happening. It wasn't till I got to middle school that I started to really feel jealous and angry that most of the other kids had real families and homes, both parents. Then the depression came. Cat is cool, like I said, but he was still no match for a real, human friend, but I was still having trouble connecting, you know? Like if I couldn't really feel happy, if I had to FORCE a smile just to get along, I felt like I didn't belong with anybody. Then one day I met Lulu and the others, and we all hit it off, cause they came from similar broken lives. Not long after we discovered weed when some older kids hooked us up. And finally, I realized both my new friends and the weed were helping my depression and anxiety. I slowly started to feel a bit better, and suddenly school and life didn't seem so scary. "

Jessi shook her head. "Wow, and I thought MY life was a fucked up mess. That's so sad Camden, I'm so sorry about all of it. You're such an amazing guy, and so sweet. So, wait, your house, where we hung out, where, um....."

He laughed. "Where I fingered you and you queefed? Yeah, that's my foster parent's house." He laughed again. "What, did you think I was filthy rich or something? I mean, you've seen the clothes I wear. Sure, my foster parents have a big place, but even they sometimes struggle to put food on the table. They're cool though, even though they're not around much. They're chill with me and the other foster kids smoking weed, as long as we do it outside."

Jessi shook her head again. "Wow. I can't believe I never thought to ask you about your family or home life or anything. We kind of just, well, got right into the whole boyfriend- girlfriend thing. I guess I was just too high to think of asking you anything, and then after I stopped smoking I sort of didn't care. I don't think I told you much about MYSELF either." 

Camden smiled. "Well, you can tell me NOW. Like, what's something big you never told ME?"

Jessi thought for a moment, then smiled. "Well, a couple years ago, me and my friend Ali got a big sugar rush and we snuck to our old school and broke the school statue. We ended up getting arrested, and our dad's had to come and pick us up!!!" 

Camden laughed. "Oh my GOD!!! Wow, you're a little badass!!! I'm like, really turned on right now."

Jessi smiled. "Really?"

He smiled. "Yeah. I mean, I know we haven't really done much more than make out, and me fingering you that time, but...."

Jessi laughed. "Well, you DID touch my boobs."

"Yeah, but I mean.....", he paused, and seemed to weigh his next words carefully, before continuing, "I mean I haven't actually, well, SEEN them. "

Jessi gasped. She always knew that eventually this was going to come. And in the back of her mind she had always been wondering what exactly she would say when it did. Jessi immediately thought of her old hookup Michaelangelo, when he had asked for a handjob. Jessi had been shocked, nervous, and slightly repulsed by the idea, and had only considered it because of Connie and Tito's urging. But when the moment came, she had totally wussed out, leading to their breakup. Now that Camden, who was so much nicer, patient, and better-looking than that asshole, was asking her something so major, she suddenly felt as nervous as she had back then. What should she do?

As if on cue, Connie appeared at her side. "Oh my God, Jessi, this is it!!!", she cried excitedly. Her fur stood up like an excited cat. "Jessi, you GOTTA say YES!!!! You show him the hooters, he'll probably show you the python!!!" 

Jessi thought. Maybe Connie was right. She had to admit, she had been wondering what he looked like down there. 'Probably big', she thought. And even if he wasn't, or perhaps he was what they called "a grower not a shower", as his girlfriend she had a longing to see it, flaccid or erect. She'd only seen a few penises before, including Michaelangelo, and a few in porn or at the party at Jay's that time. But this would be the very first time SHE showed her OWN body to a guy. When Camden had fingered her she had kept all her clothes on. He hadn't asked her to remove anything, and he had stayed dressed too. But now he was finally making a big ask. Oh, what should she do?

Just as she had dreaded, Tito the Anxiety Mosquito came buzzing into the room, circling around her head. "Oh, but what if he LAUGHS?! What if he thinks they're too small? Too pointy? He DOES watch porn!!"

Tito's words make Jessi think harder. Finding out that Camden watched porn had led to a huge fight and almost breakup. She still wasn't happy about it, but Coco had helped her realize that Camden had his own problems, including his own Depression Kitty, and also dealt with the Shame Wizard and Tito herself. Jessi realized that next to his crew and weed, she was probably the only great thing in his life. Hearing his backstory had broken her heart. He was definitely the sweetest boy she had dated. If he was kind enough to not pressure her when she wanted to take a break from weed, or to remain angry when she judged him for watching porn, surely he wouldn't laugh if he saw her boobs, just for a few seconds?

Jessi sighed. "Well, ok. Just for a few seconds, ok?", she said with a smile that she hoped hid how nervous she felt. 

As she got off the bed and headed towards her desk, Connie threw her arms up in victory. "Yeah, baby, here we go!!! This is HAPPENING!!!!!"

"Oh, I don't know. This COULD go bad!!!", whined Tito, following Jessi and buzzing around her head. 

Jessi ignored them and, setting the video call to full screen, propped the phone against one of her old school trophies. From the debate team or something. All of that felt like so long ago. Like part of a life she could barely remember. Every day she felt like she was taking another step into another life, another world. And this was DEFINITELY a HUGE step. To say she was nervous right now was definitely an understatement. 

Making sure the phone was secure, Jessi backed up a bit, making sure the video captured her full body. She forced a smile, still trying to suppress the pins and needles running through her body. "You ready?", she asked. 

Camden smiled, his own screen a small thumbnail superimposed over her own. "Oh, I'm more than ready."

Jessi took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her heart was hammering so fast she was sure it was seconds from exploding. She grabbed the bottom of her shirt. 'Good thing I'm not wearing a bra, this would be so much harder ', she thought. With one last exhale to calm her nerves, she pulled her shirt up to her chin. 

For a second, everybody was silent. In the mirror she saw Connie's gleeful smile, Tito's mortified gasp, and her own nervous face. But she turned her eyes to her phone screen, to focus on Camden, who was staring at her exposed chest. His face appeared frozen. For a second she was afraid the video had crashed. But then he smiled. 

"Wow. Oh my God. Just wow. You are, like, so hot. They are perfect. Amazing. I just wish they were here, in front of me. "

At his words, Jessi felt her fear and nervousness disappear. She smiled as she lowered her shirt. 'He didn't laugh!! He didn't even say anything nasty or perverted. He just complimented me!!!', she thought. Jessi felt the wave of emotions rush through her, filling her heart, the neurons in her brain overcharging as they all merged on a single thought, the realization striking her like a lightning bolt. 'I think I love him. I think he's THE ONE.'

Jessi smiled again as she picked up the phone. "Thanks. You know, I actually think this helped. I've just been dealing with so much these days. Actually working up the bravery to do this, doing it, and you saying that..... Camden, you're the best. "

He smiled. "Not only am I the best, I'm the luckiest guy. I have the best, hottest, coolest girl, with the greatest body in school. "

Jessi smiled as she sat back down on her bed. "So, my boobs are better than what's-her-name? Scarlet Hole?"

Camden laughed. "WAY better. You're MY age, for instance. Well, a year younger, I'm 16, but still. To tell you the truth I was really nervous, you know, asking you to do that. I was afraid you'd say no, that maybe you'd, you know, dump me."

Jessi laughed. "You think YOU were nervous? I was sure my hair would turn white!! But I would NEVER dump you. To tell you the truth I......" Jessi paused. For some reason the words seemed to pause at the threshold of her mind, too nervous to step out and make the journey out of her mouth. If she told him she thought she loved him, what would HE say? Did he feel the same way? Would he say yes? Would he say he wasn't sure? Jessi immediately thought of her parents: her dad, who used to smoke weed, and probably still did. Her mom, who her dad told her had once smoked weed, and used to actually smoke WITH her dad. Obviously they had ONCE loved each other. Or maybe they had only bonded over their love of weed, and once Shannon had stopped smoking, had realized they had little in common, but only after Jessi was born? Jessi wondered if her dad had been like Camden himself as a teenager: young, handsome, funny, and just a bit of a doofus. Obviously he'd been charming enough to make Shannon fall for him, but if both had spent years high together, too stoned to worry about their problems, perhaps they didn't realize they were falling out of love until it became too obvious to ignore. If Camden was basically a young version of her dad, would he be able to admit, or even understand, his feelings, if she told him? Now that she knew his story, she wondered if perhaps his smoking was a way to bury the depression and anxiety that came from being an orphaned foster care child. But if that was the case, and that damage went deep, was it SO deep he'd be able to admit his feelings, or even HAVE those feelings? 

She suddenly realized she couldn't say it. At least not yet. Not until she was sure how HE felt. If HE said it first, if he was capable of saying those words in spite of his rebel-without-a-cause image, not caring what Lulu or the others thought, if he could show her he could process such a vital emotion, separate it from the pain and anxiety that image masked, then, THEN she would be able to say it herself. But not now. Not yet. 

Jessi realized she'd been thinking longer than she realized. Camden laughed, interrupting her thoughts. "To tell me the truth what?". 

Jessi quickly racked her brain for a substitute for what she was about to say. "I, um, I was gonna say, um...... to tell the truth, I kind of miss getting high. Maybe, um, maybe next time we hang, I might have a bit. Maybe it'll be more fun when you mammogram my boobs!!!" She finished with a laugh, hoping he couldn't tell she was obfuscating her original thought. 

To her relief he laughed. "Sounds good. I miss you high. Let's just not climb any more buildings!!!". He laughed again, then smiled. "So, um, since you showed me YOUR goods, would you like to see MINE? "

Despite her anxieties and doubts about her newly discovered feelings for Camden, Jessi felt the excitement rush through her at his words. She had to admit, she'd been WANTING to see it since she had felt his erection through his pants while they were making out. She nodded. 

"Oh my god, yes please. Let the dragon out of his cave", she said, and switched the screen to a full view of Camden. 

He smiled and switched to camera, and Jessi saw he was walking over to a mirror on his closet door. She had never seen his room before. From the little she could see in the background, it was small and cluttered, with clothes lying on the floor and bed, as well as books and magazines lying on the floor and bed. But Jessi focused her eyes on Camden. As she watched he quickly pulled off his shirt with one hand. Jessi stared at his bare chest. So smooth, not a chest hair in sight, and surprisingly muscular for someone so thin. Next he fiddled with his pants, and next second they fell to the floor at his feet. He now stood in his boxer shorts. His legs were surprisingly strong looking too. Jessi felt her heartbeat quicken even more as she stared at his almost nude body. He was surely designed by the gods themselves. His body was perfect, an angel in human form, or a Greek hero statue brought to life. 'Oh, how I WISH I could tell him how I feel. If only I wasn't such a coward', she thought. 

Next to her, Connie was staring at the screen too, her eyes wide, her mouth agape, practically drooling. "Oh god, it's gonna happen, Jessi!!! We're going to see his DICK!!! Keep watching, baby, don't you DARE look away!!!".

But Jessi needed no urging. She was practically rooted to the spot, breathing heavily in anticipation. As she watched, transfixed, Camden fiddled with the drawstring on his black boxers till they were loose enough, and next second they fell to the floor. 

Jessi stared, her mouth falling open in a near-perfect imitation of Connie. She was right, his dick WAS big. Not only that, but a perfect shape too. Perfectly long, but not too wide or fat like the dicks she had seen in porn. Also, just like his chest and legs, his area was perfectly smooth and hairless, making the area around his giant, beautiful member perfectly visible. 'He's not even hard, and it's already so BIG', she thought, amazed. Jessi realized she was practically drooling, and quickly closed her mouth while she thought of a reply. 

Finally she found her voice. "Wow. Camden, your body is amazing. All of it. Your chest, your legs, your...... you know. You're beautiful. Every single thing about you is perfect. " 

He smiled. "Next time we hang out, would you like to........well....... you know..... do something....... to it?"

Jessi gasped. She knew that he was implying either a handjob or blowjob. She immediately thought of Michaelangelo and the failed handjob disaster. The truth was, she DID want that giant cock, either in her hands or her mouth, but couldn't help thinking of the many different things that could go wrong. What if she tried giving a handjob and he said HER hands were cold? What if she pulled too hard and hurt him? What if she tried a blowjob and accidentally bit? What if she gagged? Worst of all, what if she got too carried away doing either and said the words she couldn't bring herself to say NOW? 'At least he didn't say let's have S-E-X,' she thought. She definitely was not ready for THAT, especially since she didn't know how HE truly felt for HER. 

Jessi tried to think of a reply. "Um, well......", she paused, trying to look away from his fully naked body, but still finding herself transfixed, unable to peel her eyes away. "Well, I mean, maybe, but..... to tell you the truth, I....." Jessi suddenly realized it was best to just tell the truth. "I really don't know. I mean, the finger thing was fine, it felt really good. The boob thing too. But, really, I don't know. I'll have to think about it. I mean, AFTER I get high enough so I'm not so nervous. New territory, you know? I need to steel my nerves. "

He smiled. "Cool. Like I said I miss smoking with you. To tell you the truth, it's kind of hot when you spaz out when you get high. "

Jessi laughed. "Yeah, I miss being a spaz. Yeah, we'll get high, and see where it goes." To be honest Jessi realized she DID want to get high again. It had been at least a month, and although she had sworn off smoking for a while after the debate team debacle, she suddenly realized that Camden, and the way she felt around him, was more important than being who her mother or the team THOUGHT she was. Why couldn't she be BOTH? And it DID help her be less anxious, and she knew after tonight she WOULD be anxious in his presence, with the words she couldn't say, the unspoken three word sentence hanging over them like an axe, a sword hanging over a throne by a thread. 

He laughed, and to her relief bent down and grabbed his boxers, and finally started pulling them up. Jessi took one last look at his beautiful cock before he pulled the boxers up over them. "Awesome, can't wait. We'll smoke a joint this time. I know a guy, he has some good shit. Hang on a sec, I'm putting the phone down real quick, it's easier to get dressed with both hands. " He switched the camera, and set the phone down on either a chair or table, the camera showing only the ceiling. Jessi heard him pulling on his pants and shirt. A few seconds later he picked the phone back up, his handsome, smiling face filling up the screen. "So, how about tomorrow?"

Jessi sighed. "No, I don't think so. My mom wants to go shopping tomorrow, and on Sunday I'm hanging at my dad's. I think he's taking me to lunch. Maybe Monday, after school?"

He smiled. "Sure, Mondays good. I'll wait and hit up my guy on Sunday evening, he usually has a lot. I'll get some hybrid, indica and sativa. Pretty good stuff. "

Jessi smiled. "Sounds good. I think my dad's gummies were hybrid. Anyway, I'm really feeling tired now, so......" She really WAS getting tired, but also wanted to have a little "Jessi time" before bed, while his naked body was still fresh in her mind. But she was NOT going to masturbate while he was on the phone. That would be TOO embarrassing. Some things MUST remain sacred. 

Camden laughed. "Yeah me too. I think I'm gonna have a few hits before bed. It really DOES help me sleep, being high. Well, ok, I guess I'll see you Monday. Then we'll see if you're still down to come over. "

She smiled. "I'll be down. Down to clown", she added, and they both laughed. They both said good night, and he finally hung up. 

The second he hung up, Connie jumped and pumped her arms in victory. "WOOHOO!!!! We DID IT, Jessi Bear!!! We saw some dick, AND you showed your boobies!!! Jessi, you've just taken your first step into a larger world. Soon, very soon, if you play your cards right, that anaconda will be up in YOUR buns, hun!!!" 

Jessi laughed, in spite of her own doubts. "Well, maybe. I dunno, Connie. I mean, after something THIS big, just to be safe, I feel we should just dial back a bit. You know, take it slow? Like, after we saw each other like this, let's just let it play out. Like, you know, sex is obviously the ultimate destination, but we should stop the bus in EVERY venue, big or small. Like, another boob touch here, with or without clothes. A simple movie there. And maybe, just maybe, before the ultimate show, perhaps I COULD try the handjob thing again, or maybe even...." She trailed off, again thinking of how such a thing could end in disaster.

"Oh, a little slobbin on the knob?", Connie said, finishing Jessi's thought. "Yeah, that WOULD be a great warmup for the big thing, definitely." But suddenly her face turned serious. "But Jessi, I don't have to be a Lovebug to know what you WANTED to say. Jessi, why couldn't you tell that gorgeous, sweet, hung young boy that you LOVE him??!"

Jessi gasped. She forgot how perceptive Connie truly was, practically able to read her mind at times, which, being a supernatural creature, perhaps she COULD. The bond between them was such that Connie was able to tell when Jessi was sad, or scared or angry. When Jessi cried, Connie would start crying too. When Jessi had gotten high, Connie was somehow able to feel the effects despite not physically having any herself. The bond also seemed to go vice versa: at times Jessi often felt Connie's impatience with her, or even her disappointment. Like now.  

Jessi sighed. "I don't know, Connie. It's just..... I've made so many mistakes. Running off with Jay. Stealing my dad's gummies and getting him in trouble. Stealing. Getting arrested. MICHAELANGELO. I just......" She sighed again and fell backwards on her back on the bed. "I guess I just don't want to jinx it. Especially since HE hasn't said how he truly feels about ME. He said I'm hot. That my body is great. So is HIS. But I'm just scared. Scared that if I said it, that something may go wrong, like always. " 

Connie nodded. "Yes. I see your point. ". She sat on the bed next to Jessi. "But fear is the ENEMY of love. Eventually, sooner or later, one of you is gonna have to make the move. Say the words. Blowjob or no blowjob."

Jessi sighed again and stared at the overhead light on the ceiling until her eyes hurt. She closed her eyes, and Camden's naked body appeared in her minds eye. She thought of something to distract her, and hopefully distract CONNIE from further lectures. She smiled. 

"Well, until I see him on Monday, how about for now I, um, tickle the sleeping dragon?", she said, pointing at her crotch. "It's been a while."

Connie smiled. "Oh yeah, baby. I like that. Quick, while that giant sausage is still fresh in your mind!!"

Jessi smiled again. "My thoughts exactly. " She reached into her pajamas and moved her fingers past her underwear towards her snatch. "Hey girl, it's me. You awake? Time for some fun....."

Missy's POV

After Missy had showered and brushed her teeth, she closed her door and called Nate. After a few rings he picked up. 

"Hey. How was the shindig at your old school? I really wanted to come, but like I said my dad's car broke down. He has like, no mechanical expertise, and even I'M not that good at cars. Tried getting an Uber but no luck. Hard to get one in my part of town. "

Missy smiled. "It was cool. It really made me look back, you know? I remembered everything: the school dance. My Nanshe costume. My first kiss. The school sleepover. The play. My fight with Ali. All of it."

Nate laughed. "I still can't picture you fighting. I'm still shocked by that thing with Andrew, knocking him down. You always seem like, so peaceful. The Nanshe costume though, that sounds cool. You know, sometimes me and my friends go to things like Comic Con or cosplay conventions. I haven't ever actually gone in costume myself, but I was thinking: I know you picture me as Nathan Fillion. Perhaps we could go sometime, and I'd go as one of his characters, and you could be Nanshe. Or, maybe you as Fatima and me as Gustavo? I know you love the Rock Of Gibraltar."

Missy squealed with delight, and covered her mouth to cover her embarrassing expression. "OH MY GOD, YES!!!!", she exclaimed, louder than she meant to. She knew her parents were still awake, watching a movie in either their room or the living room. She didn't want to make them curious and bring them eavesdropping at her door. They had agreed to give her her space, but she didn't trust them not to eavesdrop. 

Nate smiled. "Epic. I don't know when the next convention is, but I'll have my contacts keep me posted. So, you down for Robotics Club on Monday?"

Missy leaned back on her pillow and smiled. "Of course." Then she remembered her promise to Andrew. "Oh, by the way, I promised Andrew I would convince the others to let him come back. You know the truth about what happened to the robot. I think it's time I told the others so they'll stop ostracizing Andrew and let him back in. I know you'll have my back, and his too. "

Nate laughed and nodded. "Definitely. Andrew is a cool guy. Plus I enjoyed playing Spaceships and Martians with him. There's another game coming up next week, when everybody is available. The usual: me, Rachel, Caleb, you if you want to join, maybe a few others, and Andrew if he wants. "

Missy nodded. "Sounds flipping awesome. Of course, I'd love to play, and I'm sure Andrew would too."

Nate smiled. " Awesome. Oh, by the way, Rachel's dad gave her a blueprint for a new robot. Just a discarded blueprint some guys at his lab made for a robot they were thinking of making. "

Missy smiled. "Neat. What kind of robot? Not another boring sorting robot, I hope?"

Nate laughed. "No, nothing like that. Just, um, just a sort of drone slash combat robot. "

Missy gasped and sat up in shock. "COMBAT??!!! You want to build a MILITARY robot at SCHOOL?!!!!"

He laughed. " Relax, we're not going to build the actual WEAPONS part at school. Just the basic body and components. We'll add the, um, OTHER parts somewhere else, like maybe Rachel's dad's workshop. See, we want to build it for a competition, but not like the last one. There are more, um, how do you say, UNDERGROUND robot competitions. Kind of like pro wrestling, but with ROBOTS. I've been to a few with friends, but never with my own robot. Me and the others are thinking of building that robot from the blueprint and entering it. The winner gets a very large cash prize. Enough for everyone who helped. Even Andrew."

Missy was stunned. She had always thought Nate so peaceful, easygoing, rule-abiding. She had never dreamed he had a ruthless, devil-may-care streak. For some reason it frightened her....... and kind of turned her on. How could she say no?

"Well ..... Ok. I mean, as long as we don't add the weapon parts AT SCHOOL, like you said", she said finally. 

Nate smiled. "Of course. Like I said, just the most basic components. The armaments we'll have to equip somewhere else. Like Rachel's dad might be able to give us some blueprints for those too. And my friend Liam can supply us with some ammo for them, once we know what caliber it needs. His parents own a gun store, and make their own bullets at home. And your friend Caleb will run a fighting program once we hook it up to a computer. He says we can download a dozen different fighting styles into its CPU in a matter of hours and it will master them instantaneously, like Neo in The Matrix. "

Missy had to admit, this sounded awesome. "So, let's see, it will be part drone, part martial artist AND part gunfighter?"

Nate smiled. "Pretty much. Hopefully we'll have the basic materials by Monday. Rachel and the others are hitting our usual suppliers. Glad you're excited. The robot fights are pretty epic. Hopefully we can get front row seats. Sometimes a piece of the loser robot flies into the front row, and you can keep it as a souvenir."

Missy laughed. "Let's just hope it isn't OURS!!!"

Nate laughed. "Right. Anyway, I gotta charge my phone. I'll call you later tomorrow and let you know how the plan is going. "

Missy smiled. "Sounds good. I gotta get to bed anyway. Good night, my dreamy space captain ", she said, blinking seductively and blowing a kiss for emphasis. 

Nate smiled back. "Sweet dreams, my beautiful space princess." 

Missy sighed as he hung up. He was...... PERFECT. Kind. Smart. Funny. Always cheerful and eager to listen. He was almost too good to be true. Like he had literally stepped into the real world from one of her space fantasies. 

She sighed again and turned to Mona. "Oh Mona. Isn't he just the GREATEST?"

Mona, sitting on the edge of her bed, head hung as if deep in thought, turned briefly to acknowledge her, before turning her gaze back to the floor. "Oh yes, darling. He is indeed." 

Missy stared at Mona curiously. She had barely said a word the entire walk home, and hadn't spoken the entire time Missy was on video call with Nate, not even getting excited at the idea of cosplay or the robot thing. Mona was usually so fiery and hypersexual. Now she seemed so distracted. Missy HAD to know. 

"Mona? Are you ok? What's wrong? You don't seem....... YOURSELF tonight."

Mona sighed, still staring at the floor. "I'm FINE, darling. It's just....... there's something I have to do."

Missy gasped. "Are you GOING AWAY??! LEAVING me, like Andrew's Monster left HIM?!! I heard Andrew talking to the others, and he said...."

"No, no, I'm not leaving", Mona interrupted. "Not so much as I've decided to split my time between you and....... another concern. " She turned and smiled at her. "Don't worry, darling. You and I still have a LONG road ahead. I'm not going anywhere without seeing you get your chocolate covered cherry popped, and get your braces off. Preferably in THAT order."

Missy sighed in relief. That wouldn't be HER preferred order, but she was glad Mona was staying. "Whoo. That's good. I almost had a heart attack there. So, I mean, you're still gonna be around all the time? As much as you are NOW?"

Mona laughed. "Of COURSE. You keep forgetting I'm magic, practically omnipotent. I can be in many places at once in most cases. It's just that, um, well, I've decided to do what I'm about to do without ORDERS. So I'm just nervous about eventual consequences. That's all. "

"Oh. I see", Missy said. She smiled. "Kind of like Fatima with Gustavo, breaking the law for love. "

Mona nodded. "EXACTLY. But anyway, I should be getting to that right now. Do you think you could manage without me for a few hours?"

Missy smiled. "Don't worry. You know me, my mind is basically a multiverse of erotic sci-fi and panty soaker fantasy. ". She grabbed her glowworm, Mr Wiggles, and sat him on her lap. " I'll be fine till you get back. "

Mona nodded and smiled. "Excellent, darling. I'll see you in the morning, you'll probably be sleeping when I get back. See you when you wake up. Love you, Missy. "

Missy smiled and prepared Mr Wiggles for his usual job. "Love you too, Mona. See you in the morning. "

She watched as Mona walked into the portal that opened in the corner of the room and disappeared. As soon as the portal vanished, Missy smiled at the glowworm on her lap. 

"So, Mr Wiggles, what should we worm dance to TONIGHT?" 

Matthew's POV

On the walk home, Matthew couldn't help thinking back to what happened at the school. Namely, Jay giving him his first blowjob while Lola watched. Obviously, the three had sworn to keep it between themselves. But knowing Jay and Lola, between them, Matthew was sure the entire high school would know by Monday. 

And THEN what? What would the other students think if they knew that Matthew, the peppy, straight-edge gay boy from a close-knit Christian family, had received a blowjob from JAY BILZERIAN? What would his family, who were only recently coming to terms with his sexuality, say? And worst of all, what if the news reached Dewayne? Even though he went to another high school in another town, surely he followed social media, and if somebody from Bridgeton High posted it, and Dewayne followed them, he'd surely break up with him BEFORE they could arrange a first meeting. 

"Ugh, I'm such an IDIOT!!!!", he groaned to himself. 

Why couldn't he just seem to get over Jay? He thought back to middle school, the night of their very first kiss. He hadn't truly felt anything at the time, as it had been his very first kiss period. He certainly hadn't given much thought to Jay BEFORE then. He had thought of Jay the way EVERYBODY thought of him: Gross. Loud. Unruly. Annoying. Crude. UNCIVILIZED. 

But over time he realized he couldn't get the crazy, magic-obsessed pervert out of his mind. At the time he realized he actually LIKED the freak, he was already in a relationship with Aiden. Sweet, handsome, perfect Aiden. Kind. Intelligent. CIVILIZED. HYGIENIC. But over time he realized he couldn't stop imagining Aiden as JAY. At last he couldn't deny it, and broke up with Aiden. Or rather, forced Aiden to break up with HIM. Matthew still felt terrible about that. 

But then, eventually, Matthew realized his relationship with Jay had felt more like a PROJECT, as he realized Jay was trying to become just like Matthew. Matthew had realized he had, in Jessi and Maury's words, "domesticated" the wild teen. Jay had started dressing like him, acting like him, watching the same movies and shows, and even tried giving up magic. 

Alas, Matthew realized it would never work out in the long run. Despite Jay making an effort, he knew they were just too different. Different worlds, different families and values, different social circles. Different futures. Matthew had reluctantly broken up with Jay, leaving both devastated. 

While that should have been it, Matthew had realized that Jay was worming his way into his heart and mind once more. While it was certainly the LAST thing he would do while in high school, and Jay CERTAINLY the last person he would do it to, after hearing the other choir members talk about blowjobs, after Maury's constant nagging, and his own curiosity, he had given Jay a blowjob. Or TRIED to, as Jay had cum literally the SECOND his lips touched his filthy, uncut member. 

But after that, Matthew had tried to put Jay out of his mind, especially after he had seemingly reentered into his former turbulent relationship with Lola. During that time Matthew had met Dewayne online and started talking. Both realized they had a lot in common, not knowing exactly what either wanted in a same-sex relationship. Namely, not knowing whether they were "top or bottom." While Matthew was no longer the only openly gay student, going to high school now with plenty of gay students, like his fellow choir mates, he still sometimes felt out of place, as the others talked about sex so openly, and Matthew was still unsure about the things he wanted in a relationship, so upon meeting Dewayne, he had felt a bit better. 

But now, tonight, after receiving his very first blowjob, from JAY of all people, now he felt more unsure than ever. Not just about relationships but EVERYTHING. As he had said earlier, he was now starting to wonder if the choir was where he truly belonged. He wondered if this was how Jay felt all the time: lost, not truly belonging or fitting in, doing the crazy things he did just for the smallest modicum of attention, because he couldn't forge human connections otherwise. 

Matthew gritted his teeth. "Just get Jay out of your mind", he scolded himself. "Tonight was just about doing something that might have happened if we had stayed together. You gave HIM a blowjob, and now he gave YOU one. Now we're even. That's it. It's over and done. WE'RE over and done. Now get on with your fucking life."

Finally he reached his house and opened the front door. His parents and siblings were in the living room, just finishing another childish board game. He told them he had been hanging out with friends. He knew they wouldn't ask questions. Part of learning to accept him for who he was was giving him space. 

After Matthew had changed and showered, he made sure everyone else had either gone to bed or was otherwise in their room doing their own thing, then closed his door and called Dewayne. Dewayne answered almost right away. 

"Hey!! How was the party?", Dewayne said, with that beautiful smile of his. 

Matthew laughed. "Not much of a party. Honestly I kind of regret going. Pretty boring actually, mostly just everybody stood around talking." Matthew tried not to think about the blowjob, or Jay or Lola. 'It NEVER happened. It NEVER happened, Dewayne is what matters. When you left the old school for the last time tonight, you left Jay and whatever history you both had behind too. That memory will turn to dust tomorrow along with the school. That room where he put his lips on your dick will be just a pile of rubble, just like whatever relationship you two had. Stop thinking about it.'

Dewayne, oblivious to Matthew's troubled expression, just laughed. "Man, middle school. Like, what's even the point? I don't know why they don't just have ONE school that teaches EVERYTHING. You could learn everything you need in only a few years, then you wouldn't NEED middle school, or high school or college. My older brother is in his second year of college and he HATES it. Next year is my own senior year of high school, and I just KNOW I'm barely going to make it. "

Matthew forced a laugh. "Yeah, school. It definitely sucks. Until I met Ocean and the others I thought I'd be the only gay guy AGAIN. I was happy for a while, but now...." Matthew trailed off, again lost in that existential thought. 

Dewayne finally noticed his troubled face. "Man, what's wrong? You don't seem yourself tonight."

Matthew finally realized he had to tell SOMEBODY. He took a deep breath. "Look, tonight, going back there, it made me realize, I simply don't feel like I belong there. Walking through my old middle school, visiting all those old memories, I realize now, I......", he sighed, then took another deep breath before saying it, the very realization that he had had at the school, the very thing that had been nagging him all night, besides Jay. "I realize I MISS doing morning announcements. When I left, when I graduated, I swore I was done, that I wouldn't do it anymore. But now I realize, that's who I WAS. I liked it. I was GOOD at it. At least back then I KNEW who I was. But now, at high school, I realize I barely recognize myself. It's like being in a different body that looks exactly like me, in a different world, walking around without a clue. I tried doing choir, and I even kind of like it, but when I really think about it, it's just not ME."

Saying all that DID help him feel a bit better. At least it pushed Jay out of his mind for a moment. Now he was thinking of Caleb. He now realized that, besides Missy and the other nerds, he was probably Caleb's only REAL friend. Caleb had been devastated when Matthew announced he wasn't doing announcements at Bridgeton High. Matthew had compensated by agreeing to have coffee with him, which he still did, but he could still sense that Caleb was unhappy. Perhaps the announcements were all HE knew too?

"Hmmmmmm". Dewayne's voice broke him out of his thoughts. "Well, I mean, if you LIKED it, perhaps you should go back to doing it. I mean, you're still a sophomore. You got several more years to do it, if you still want. I mean, personally, I think your face was MADE for the screen."

Matthew laughed. "Now you're just trying to cheer me up. "

Dewayne shook his head. "No, I'm serious!!! When I first saw you, I honestly couldn't believe it when you said you did choir. I was thinking 'surely, with a face like that, he must surely be planning to be an actor or a talk show host.' " 

Matthew laughed. "Well, actually, besides announcements I DID have a sort of talk show where I interviewed students, mostly about relationships or rumors and gossip. My friend Caleb always helped out with everything, usually doing technical stuff but occasionally appearing onscreen. When I told him I didn't want to do it once we got to the high school, he was really sad. But now that I think about it maybe it's the only thing that made him happy there. And maybe I was only happy MYSELF doing what I knew."

Dewayne was silent for a moment, then replied. "Well, like I said, DO IT. For yourself. For Caleb. For old times sake. And for everybody else who loved your show and MISS those old times as much as you. DO IT." 

Matthew smiled. Dewayne was right. Just because he was stuck in a new environment didn't mean he had to settle for a whole new life and give up his old one, especially something he missed. He made up his mind. On Monday he was going to talk to the principal and apply. He knew he would probably get the job. Bridgeton High HAD no morning announcer, or EVER had as far as he knew. 

He smiled wider. "You know what? Fuck it. You're right. I can't fool myself any longer, being something I'm not. I'm no choir boy, even though I DO love singing. I am Matthew Macdell, gossip lover, snarky gay best friend to all, and, God damn it, MORNING ANNOUNCER!!!!", saying the last two words as he leapt from the bed dramatically. 

Dewayne laughed. "Well look at you all fired up. It's kinda sexy. Yes, do it. Lord knows MY school could use something like that. We never HAD announcements at any of my schools. My high school DID have a school paper, but they shut it down. Too costly for the school board, they said. "

Matthew nodded. "Well, tomorrow, I, Matthew Macdell, am bringing my trademark news with a sarcastic spin to Bridgeton High. Whether they like it or not, these sheep are going to have a new shepherd. I gotta go, I have to call Caleb, tell him the news. I know he's going to be so excited he'll SHIT HIMSELF!!!" 

Dewayne laughed. "Ok. I gotta hit the hay anyway. Talk to you tomorrow. Knock em dead. " 

He hung up, and Matthew quickly called Caleb. After a few rings he picked up. "Caleb? Sorry for calling so late. I didn't wake you up did I? Good. Well, I got some awesome news. You're gonna LOVE this......"

Jay's POV

When Jay reached his house, as always, he opened the door slowly, his eyes searching the dark front hallway carefully, searching for traps. It would be just like Val and Kurt to set a trap for him, or to lie in wait in the darkness to pounce once he stepped through the door. He stood in the spot for a few minutes, eyes searching every dark corner, listening for any sound of their snickering. Nothing. 

Finally, convinced the coast was clear, Jay walked in and closed the door. He was about to go upstairs when he saw the light on in the kitchen. 'Maybe Dad's back!!!', he thought. His father, Guy Bilzerian, had ransacked the house weeks earlier. Jay had heard from a friend whose father had lived in Guy Town that the place had been condemned after a former resident, Leore Poblart, had been discovered to be the Ponytail Killer. In fact, Leore had nearly killed THEM only a month earlier, chasing them down after Lola rammed his car. Police had traced Leore's residence after his arrest, and found his grisly collection of human hair, some with scalps still attached, to be used for his 'work'. The mayor had ordered Guy Town shut down, and Guy, who had been blackmailing corrupt city council members to keep it open despite unsanitary conditions, now found himself in hot water. Jay realized he had probably stolen everything he could lift and either sold it to pay them off or went into hiding. That was a couple weeks ago. Was he finally back? 

Jay ran into the kitchen. "Hey dad I......" He stopped. It wasn't his father. There, at the kitchen table, sat his mother, Jenna. As usual she had a glass of wine in front of her. She turned her head up and smiled at him. 

"Hey Jay. Where were you?"

Jay was surprised. Usually his mother barely even noticed he was gone. She didn't even ask Val and Kurt where they went. 

"Uh....... just hanging out with friends. You know, sneaking into the old school to say goodbye. Stuff like that. "

She smiled. "That's nice. Come sit down, hon. You and mommy need to have a chat. " 

Jay pinched himself. His parents hardly EVER asked him to sit down for a chat. Actually NOBODY ever asked him to talk if it wasn't important. Nevertheless he sat down in the chair next to her. She smiled. 

"How's school, Jay? I really don't remember MY old school. It was so long ago. I mean, I'm older than I look. So long...." She trailed off, and Jay thought she was falling asleep. To keep her awake and keep this rare conversation going he answered. 

"Um, it's good, mom. I mean, I miss my old school. It's getting torn down, did you hear? That's why I went tonight, pay my respects, you know. You were there once, a couple years ago? Remember, when I cut off Andrew's finger?"

She nodded. "Yes. I also picked you up. That's where I met Steve. "

Jay nodded. "Oh, right. Yeah, by the way, Steve said to say hi. He's going away for a while, but he'll be back. "

She smiled faintly, as if savoring a pleasant memory. " Yes. Steve. He's a good man, hope he's happy, wherever he's going. I just wonder if he'll be back in time before....." She trailed off again, and her face turned serious. Troubled. 

"Before what? Mom, before WHAT?!", Jay pressed. Something about her tone and expression troubled him. 

Jenna sighed and turned to fully face him, her face grave. "Jay. Promise me you won't say anything. You're the youngest but also the most mature. Your brothers will find out in due course. They're just upset about your dad leaving. They won't say it, but they're hurting." She sighed. "I was at the doctor's today. They did some lab work. The usual. And they told me it's back. The cancer. "

Jay felt the shock and horror run through him like a strong electric shock, like a truck hit him full force. "But, but HOW? The chemo treatments were working!!! Your hair even started growing back a bit. In a year or so they say you wouldn't need the wig!!!"

She sighed. " I don't know. They kept doing tests every time. Last time it was in remission. But then today....." She shook her head. "But perhaps it's just genetic. My mother died from it. Both grandparents. I should have been more careful. Maybe drank less, although that probably didn't have much to do with it, but still. " She sighed. "Maybe it's my punishment for being such a poor mother. "

Jay stood up and threw his arms around her. "Don't say that, mom!!! You're a GREAT mother!!! Really. I wouldn't want any other!!! Look, we'll figure this out. I KNOW we will. Dad will be back, and he will keep paying for the treatments. We'll even find BETTER treatments if we HAVE to!!!" Jay felt his eyes start to burn with tears. He felt fear and dread clutch his heart. He struggled to push them back. 'Im the most mature, he said to himself. I've got to be brave.'

She hugged him back. "I hope so. I really do. But if something happens, YOU'RE the man of the house. Your dad can't always be around, and we have no other close relatives. They WILL listen, Jay. You just have to show them that you're not afraid. "

Jay fought back the tears. "But I AM afraid, mom!!! I can't.....I can't DO this without you!!! I...... I can barely make it at school. No matter what I do, I always screw things up with people I love. Everybody thinks I'm a FREAK!!! Nobody would listen to me, or treat me like an ADULT, mom, NOBODY!!!! Sometimes even I don't know who I am, WHAT I am!!!"

Jenna smiled. "But they WILL, Jay. I know it. You're NOT a freak. You're SPECIAL. You know why I named you Jay? Jay means victory, triumph. When you were born, I knew YOU were my greatest achievement in life. I love your brothers just as much, but I always knew YOU were the one most destined for great things. The things you think make you strange make you GREAT. Never give up your passion, Jay. The magic is not what you DO, it's what you ARE. "

Despite his sadness, Jay smiled. Finally SOMEBODY in his family appreciated his talents. "Aww, thanks mom. You know, Steve liked my magic too." He hugged her again. "And don't worry, we'll figure this out. All of us. Val. Kurt. Dad when he gets back. I promise, mom. You'll be ok. "

She smiled, but not in a reassured way. "I really hope so. Now go on, mom's tired. I'm gonna finish this glass then go to bed. You should be getting to bed too. "

Jay nodded, and tried his bravest smile. "Ok. Good night, mom. Love you. "

Jay turned and walked up the stairs, his mind reeling with thoughts of the past couple weeks. His friends. Matthew. Lola. Coach Steve leaving. Now this. 

Jay had never FELT like the man of the house, nor expected that responsibility would fall to him so early, if ever. Jay always thought of every day like a magic act: reach into it and pull something out. He liked to be as surprised as the audience what happened. But now it felt like he had reached into the wrong hat, and pulled out something dark and ugly, something that was growing by the minute, threatening to swallow him and the world he'd always known whole. No matter how old he got, and no matter how much they fought, he thought he'd always have his family. Now his dad was who-knows-where, and his mother was dying. 

Jay walked into his room and fell down on his bed. He thought back to the school tonight, when everybody else was discussing their problems and revelations. Jay wasn't big on epiphanies, and didn't believe in religion or enlightenment, and especially not miracles. But now, he would give ANYTHING for a miracle. To help him find his place at school. To fix his heart where the constant conflict between Lola and Matthew was tearing it apart. To help him choose. To make his brothers nice. To bring Dad home. To make mom better. 

Magic had always been Jay's hobby, but he had never actually seen REAL magic. But now, he realized, for any or all those things to happen, that would take some magic he knew was beyond even the world's greatest magicians......

Nick's POV 

As soon as Nick got home, he said hello to his parents, who he had texted when he was a block away, saying, like the others, he had simply lost track of the time. Then he went upstairs and quickly changed and showered. Nick felt his heartbeat quicken, but whether from the hot water or his still broken heart, he wasn't sure. Nick wanted to sit down in the shower and enjoy the hot water on his body as he sat and thought, but he knew Maury would be back shortly, and the last thing he needed was that hairy fuck poking his ugly face in the shower and making him cum all over the shower walls. So he quickly washed, shampooed and conditioned his hair, and got out. 

As he dried off Nick looked at his nude body in the steamed up bathroom mirror. He felt both a mixture of pride and sadness at his finally growing body. Sure, his legs and arms were longer, and perhaps just a bit muscular, and his dick was at last a decent size, even bigger with an erection. But in a way he STILL felt like a freak. Clumsy. Awkward. Ugly. Like Frankenstein's monster, trapped in a body he hated and didn't know how to control. Like his very skin was a prison holding a tortured soul that only knew anger and misery. 

He shook his head and moved closer to the mirror. Wiping away the steam with his palm, he looked closer at his reflection. 'At least the acne is clearing up', he thought. He wiped a strand of his short black hair off his forehead. As he did he had a thought: 'Maybe I should let my hair grow out.' His mother had cut his hair since he was a kid, and even though it didn't look as bad as SOME haircuts he had seen, he had to admit, as he got older, he started to hate it. 'It actually wouldn't look bad long. I mean, I couldn't possibly look WORSE.' 

He finished drying off then pulled on his clothes. When he opened the door to his room, just as he feared, Maury sat waiting on his chair. He grunted by way of greeting. 

"Took you long enough. Clogged the drain with lots of jizz, I hope." 

Nick groaned. "Don't you ever just say HELLO?", he shot back as he sat on his bed with a sigh. 

"HELLO", Maury said, in fair imitation of Nick. "So, what shall we jerk it to tonight? You still got that magazine Andrew gave you? Or, how about we just use the best go-to: the Internet? Rule 34 also has some great stuff. OR, hear me out, I know people look down on AI, but you can generate some pretty good fap material with your own mind. I always begged Andrew to try PromeAI, where you can....."

Nick groaned again. " Maury, I'm REALLY not in the mood to jerk off right now, ok?" He fell backwards on his bed and closed his eyes. Once more he pictured Devin. Saw her beautiful smile, heard her voice, smelled her perfume as she hugged him. Every time he closed his eyes, even for a second, she was all he saw. 

Nick heard Maury groan in exasperation. "Come on man. We gotta keep working to undo whatever damage Rick did over the years. Sure he's a great guy, but quite frankly he's an IDIOT. Seriously your cum numbers are WAY down. By your age you should have blown way more loads than you have!!" 

Nick grit his teeth. 'FUCK. OFF.', he thought. "Well, I'm TALLER, so at least SOME damage is fixed. Just because I'm 15 doesn't mean I want to jack all the time. Go bother Matthew. Aren't you HIS Monster too?"

Maury laughed. "Matthew moves at his own pace. He cums when he wants. But he's already bounds and leaps ahead of you OR Andrew. He got his first blowjob tonight. Not that YOU care. What's REALLY wrong, Nick? Need some Viagra? Or....." Nick heard him chuckle. "Are you still moaning about Devin?"

Nick opened his eyes and sat up in shock. He gave Maury a glare that could melt stone. "STAY OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!", he snapped. 

Maury laughed again. "Awww. Touched a nerve? Good. Anger-fapping is the best. How do you want to picture Devin? Bathing suit? Bra and thong? Shower? I know, how about her sleeping in the nude, and you walk in, pull the covers...."

Nick covered his ears. "SHUT UP!!!! I don't WANT to picture her in ANY of those things!!! I don't DESERVE to think about her!!! I hurt her, turned the school against her because of something I did!!! I didn't even deserve her FORGIVENESS. I'm certainly not going to dishonor her FURTHER by jerking off to her, asshole!!!"

Maury growled. "Hey don't get mad at ME!!! YOU'RE the one who fucked up. You're just like Andrew, getting mad at ME when things go south. Besides, I wasn't even WITH you when you fucked up with her. I only WATCHED the whole thing while dealing with Andrew. Seriously, you two act like we MAKE you do these things. Why don't you take some responsibility for YOURSELF, and....."

Nick felt the anger surge through him. Before he realized it, he stood up and threw his phone with all his strength. It hit Maury in the chest and bounced off. 

Maury glanced from Nick to the phone on the floor. He took a menacing step toward Nick. "HEY!!!! Don't you DARE....."

But Nick cut him off. "DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW IT'S MY FAULT??!!! ALL I DO IS FUCK UP!!!!! EVERYTHING GOOD IN MY LIFE I BLOW!!!! GINA. DANNI. I ALMOST RUINED MY FRIENDSHIP WITH JESSI AND ANDREW SO MANY TIMES!!!! NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY, I CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!! HOW MANY TIMES CAN I FUCK UP???!!!!!!!" Nick realized he was shouting at the top of his lungs, and took a deep breath. He also realized he was crying again. He suddenly felt more tired than he had already been. He stepped back and fell on his bed again. He looked up at Maury, who was staring at him, his face unreadable. Finally he sighed and sat down beside Nick on the bed. 

"Look, I'm sorry, ok? I guess I'm only just realizing you and Andrew are completely different people, so I have to HANDLE you differently. Who knows? Perhaps if I hadn't pushed Andrew so hard, been so demanding, maybe HE would have turned out different. Thing is I just get so wrapped up in the HORNY part of adolescence, I tend to forget there's actual EMOTIONS besides just hormones. I know the LOVE part is more the Lovebugs department, but maybe I should try to acknowledge that myself. "He laughed. "Damn it, now I sound like a Logic Rock. "

Nick laughed bitterly. "Yeah, that's just what I need. Logic. Maybe if I had thought before I spoke, I wouldn't have fucked things up with....." He trailed off. It was too painful to even say her name. 

Maury nodded. "Yes. And maybe if I had stepped in and taken over for Rick BEFORE, I could have helped keep you on the right track. To tell you the truth I WANTED to. I mean, I could tell that despite all your fighting, you were a good friend to Andrew. You stuck by him through all his many trials, mostly brought on by himself. And occasionally ME. I just had my hands full with him and Matthew and occasionally Caleb. When the Department handed your case over to me once Rick announced his retirement, I was so happy."

Nick scoffed. "Really? You didn't SEEM too happy when you showed up in my room. " 

Maury sighed. "Yeah. Again, just part of my take-charge routine. But I really WAS happy to get you. "He smiled. "But I promise, I think I've learned from my mistakes with Andrew. I'll let you go at your own pace, that's fine. I mean, I can see you're hurting. " He reached out a hand, seemingly hesitated, then patted Nick gently on the shoulder. 

Nick sniffed and wiped his nose with the sleeve of his shirt. He smiled as big a smile as he could muster. His heart still felt like it had been ripped in two, but Maury's words DID help him feel a bit better. 

Still, he shook his head and sighed. "Yeah. I'm hurting. I mean, I can't help thinking about the future. I mean, eventually, YOU'LL have to leave me too. Plus after high school, who knows if I'll ever see any of my friends again? We could all end up going to different colleges, or our jobs might make us too busy to see each other. I know all this is a few years off, but still, I can't help thinking about it. And also, of course, there's...... her."

Maury nodded. "Yes, of course. But it doesn't do to dwell on such things, especially things that are still far off." He smiled. "I gotta say though, I've never SEEN such a close-knit friend group. You. Andrew. Jessi. Jay. Missy. Even Matthew. No matter what happens, you'll find a way. " His smile faded. "But as for Devin", he saw Nick flinch at her name, but went on, "she seemed to forgive you tonight. I saw you two talk, and she hugged you. "

Nick hung his head. "Yes. But that's just IT. When she did, I just had a feeling. It just hit me out of nowhere. It's like when you realize, you know, that that person is THE ONE. Like the only one you could ever love. Like, you know, even though you never realized it UNTIL then, that, that you would...... you'd just......"

Maury nodded. "Do ANYTHING for them." Nick nodded. "Yes. I understand. I realized that when I met Connie, even though it was BILLIONS of years ago. You never forget that feeling. I STILL remember the moment we met. "

Nick nodded. "Yes. It's weird cause I've known Devin since we first started at Bridgeton Middle. I used to think I HATED her, like almost everyone. I even straight up called her a BITCH to Devon. But, like, I don't know. When she and I were meeting up and making out in secret, I actually maybe did feel SOMETHING, but at the time I was just enjoying the moment, and as you know I got too into it and called her........ you know. Then after all that was over, after I told the truth and apologized, even though at the time I didn't realize it, ever since then I've just had this awful feeling. Like an emptiness. And then tonight when we finally talked for the first time in over a week, at first I thought I felt better, but then when we, you know, hugged, well, instead of better, that feeling just got WORSE. And that's when I realized. I realized what that feeling was. Love. I LOVE her, Maury. I don't know how or when it happened, but all I know is I love her. But because of what happened, what I DID, I know she'll never love ME. I wouldn't. "

Maury placed his arm on Nick's shoulder again, firmer this time. "HEY. Don't EVER say that. You think love is something you either win or lose? NO. Love is not a currency you either keep or spend or lose. Love is a force of nature. It's like the weather: ever present and always changing. Like a storm it can come suddenly and without warning. And like a storm it can wash away the old but also make room for new. Like with YOU. You ARE different. I can tell. Connie told me you were an asshole, but I can tell that's not true. Not anymore. Just like HER. I saw a new Devin tonight. I don't have to be a Lovebug to tell she has a good heart. So do YOU. But what you DO with your heart, only you can choose. Because the thing about love is it doesn't come from the heart alone, or the mind, or even your soul. It comes from ALL of you. Just like all weather comes from air." 

Nick sniffed again and smiled. "Now you DO sound like a Lovebug. I miss Walter. He was great."

Maury smiled. "Well, he'd say the same thing. You can't give up, Nick. If you TRULY love someone, you can't quit. But you also can't FORCE it. You need to prove yourself WORTHY of her love. And vice versa. Show her that you've changed. You showed her a bit with WORDS, but you also need to show through ACTIONS. "

Nick nodded. "Yes. I just don't know HOW. I guess I'll have to think of something. I'll figure it out. It's what being a teenager is about. Figuring things out. "

Maury shook his head. " No. That's what being HUMAN is about. And no, we'll figure it out TOGETHER. You and me. Not as your HORMONE MONSTER, but as your friend. " He said the last part with a smile. 

Nick nodded. "Ok. But I still don't feel right jerking off right now. Like I said, it would just feel WRONG to masturbate to Devin now that I realize how I feel, but ALSO wrong to jack it to something or someone ELSE. "

Maury laughed. "Now you sound like Andrew when he was crushing on Missy. " He smiled. "Nick Birch, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership. "

Devin's POV 

When Devin got home, after changing, showering and brushing her teeth, and saying good night to her mom and sister, Devin went to her room and got to work. Putting on her favorite radio station (classic and hard rock) she first went to her bureau and started grabbing all her makeup cases and bottles, and lipstick, as well her eyeliner, plus the pencils and brushes, and started tossing them in her trash can. Then, once all that was gone, she went around her room and started pulling pictures off the wall. Pictures of her and Devon, her in her "wedding" dress, in her cheerleading outfit, in rehearsal for the cancelled Disclosure play. Her, her, her. Holding one photo in her hands, she stared at her old self. Selfish. Egotistical. Mean. Rotten. With a scream she ripped the photo in two. Into thirds. Fourths. Then she tossed all the photos in the trash with her discarded, expensive makeup and accessories. Then, after a few seconds hesitation, she tossed her earrings in with them. 'I always hated them anyway', she thought. 

Then, sitting down on her bed, catching her breath, she grabbed her phone and went to all her apps. Facebook. Instagram. Twitter. She went to 'account settings ' and selected 'permanently delete' on all of them. Then, after removing the apps from her homescreen, she went to the last stop on her Destroy The Old Devin quest: her phone's photo gallery. 

Pictures. So many pictures. Almost all of her of course. But lots of her and Devon playing their roles as a "couple." Some of her and Lola. So many, some photos went back to a couple years ago. Some pictures were of her with her parents and sister. She'd definitely keep those. She decided to move the ones she'd keep to another file. Doing so, she went through each individual photo and deleted the unwanteds one by one. She knew it would be easier to delete all at once, but there was something cathartic about deleting each one individually. Like she was killing another evil version of her with each photo deleted. Each time she happened on a picture of her with family, at home or on vacation, she moved it to the other file for ones she was saving. But any picture of just HER, her arrogant, cruel, spiteful, evil former self, she deleted with prejudice. Plus any photos of her and Devon. She felt a small pang of guilt, but it had to be done. He was a connection to her past. To the self she was destroying. Another layer of skin she had to shed to emerge beautiful and new. 

The whole time, Emmy stood watching her critically. Celeste had fallen asleep in the chair by the window, and was snoring loudly. Emmy looked from her back to Devin. Emmy had remained silent the entire time, which was unusual for her. But finally she sighed and walked over, sitting down beside Devin on the bed. 

"Devin, please. Just take a break. Let's put on a movie or something till you fall asleep. You can finish in the morning."

Devin sighed. "EMMY. Please, this is important. I HAVE to do this. "

Emmy shook her head. "Devin. Look, I CARE about you so much. Now that you're not snogging Nick anymore, normally I would have to go find another client. In fact the Tube has probably sent me like several new ones. My workload is probably piling up, but I stay for YOU. Because I just wouldn't feel right leaving you until you're TRULY happy. "

Devin turned to Emmy and smiled. "And that DOES make me happy, Emmy. I really enjoy your company. But right now I'm on a mission. I can't rest, can't focus on anything else, until every last trace of the evil me is gone, and anything that links me to her. Coco inspired me so much, even though she was only with us for like a week. I realized tonight, THIS is how I have compassion for myself. By completely destroying my old self. All those years I spent hurting others because I MYSELF was hurting inside, or hiding my freckles because I watched my mom do the same, or treated others the way I saw HER treat and use others. I was never truly thinking for MYSELF. It was like I was a robot designed and programmed by my parents, acting the way THEY acted in school. Well, NO MORE. I could never truly have compassion for myself if I kept LYING to myself. " She turned back to her phone and resumed her deleting rampage.

Emmy shook her head sadly. Just as she was about to try again, a portal opened in the corner of the room. A Hormone Monstress stepped into the room. Devin gasped. She had never seen her before. Emmy, however, jumped up with a smile. 

"Mona!!", she cried, and ran forward and embraced her. "It's been a while. How you doing? And what are you doing HERE?"

The Hormone Monstress smiled. "I'm good, Emmy. Finally got my house rebuilt. I don't think I'll be throwing any more parties for a while though. As for why I'm here", she said, turning to face Devin", I'm here for HER. "

Devin nearly dropped her phone in shock. "Huh? But I already HAVE a Hormone Monstress.", she said, looking at Celeste, who was still sleeping in the chair by the window. 

The new Monstress smiled. "Not anymore." She walked over and shook Celeste gently on the shoulder. "Celeste? Celeste!! Wake up, darling. "

Celeste opened her good eye. She groaned tiredly and looked at the Monstress. "Mona?!", she croaked. "What are you doing? Did I miss another meeting? Sorry, dear, I've just been so tired and forgetful lately....."

Mona shook her head. "No darling. I'm here to take over. I'll be taking care of Devin from now on. You can go home now. You should retire. Go relax on the beach or something. Get a tan. You'll feel so much better. "

Celeste sighed and nodded. " I suppose you're right, Mona. I've been doing this too long. Yes. Yes, it's time. " She stood up slowly and walked over to Devin. "Sorry, Devin, but she's right. I should have retired ages ago. It's time for somebody better, younger to take over. Mona here is great. She's helped me out so many times. Listen to her. I just know you two will get along great. " She put an aged, gnarled hand on Devin's shoulder. " We had some great times. You were always my favorite. I'll never forget you. "

Devin smiled, fighting back tears. Celeste had been a constant in her life for the past four years or so. Sure, she could be forgetful, annoying and occasionally downright insane, but she was also like a second grandmother, especially since her own grandmother had died shortly before Celeste came into her life. Devin had never always said it, especially since she wasn't great at expressing emotions, but she was always grateful for her help and occasional wisdom. "I'll never forget you, either. I'll miss you. "

Celeste smiled back and turned to Mona. "Take care of her. She's a very special person. " With one last smile at Devin, she turned and stepped through the portal Mona had come through and disappeared, and the portal vanished.  

Mona turned to Devin and smiled. " Well, Devin, it's a pleasure to formally meet at last. I'm Mona, as I'm sure you heard. I have decided of my own will, rather than by assignment, to take over as your new Hormone Monstress. "

"But I mean, WHY?", Devin asked. "I mean, Celeste was doing a good job. I mean, not GREAT, but she...."

Mona laughed. "Darling look, I love Celeste. She was my dear, dead grandmother's best friend, and kind of a mentor to me. I admired her growing up, but old age takes its toll on monsters as much as humans, albeit CENTURIES instead of years as opposed to humans. I saw her start to slip well over 50 years ago, saw her first signs of senility, but I still loved her too much to talk to corporate about forcing her into retirement. I just figured she'd eventually grow bored and weary on her own. But it turns out her dementia is apparently so bad she sometimes FORGETS how old she really is."

Devin sighed. "Yeah. I kinda know what you mean. Half the time she seemed to forget where she was, or who I was." Devin shrugged. "Still, I really enjoyed her company. She was somebody to talk to, you know? Because the truth is I don't really hang out with anybody AFTER school. Truth is I really just like doing my own thing. But Celeste was always there for me. Honestly I felt like SHE helped me more than my parents whenever I was angry or depressed or just simply needed a friend. I mean, Lola and my sister are my BEST friends, but Celeste was, like..... I don't know. But I loved her. "

Mona nodded. "Yes. But to truly reach your full potential, Devin, you need somebody YOUNGER, like Celeste herself said. Somebody who UNDERSTANDS today's youth more. That's why I'm here. But let's get to know each other first. Can you please turn off the music, darling?" 

Devin sighed and turned off her clock radio and turned back to Mona. The Monstress smiled as she studied Devin. 

"Ok, cards on the table. Truth is, I've been watching you for years. I've been a Monstress to many girls at both Bridgeton Middle AND Bridgeton High. You probably know one of my favorite clients well. Missy. " She saw Devin's shocked look and went on. "Yes, I first got her during that disastrous school play. You were in it too, I think? And I'll be honest, at first I HATED you, because of how I saw you treat her and other girls. In fact, couple years back, I remember you making that snarky comment about her new hair. I believe I called you a 'rank-ass bitch', and even suggested Missy cut your throat. " 

Devin gasped, but Mona went on. "Oh come on darling, you have to remember, I'm a HORMONE MONSTRESS, I'm basically ALWAYS on my period. They call them RAGING hormones for a reason. But honestly, over the next year or so I continued to watch you closely. And I slowly started to understand that most of your actions came from your own insecurities. Your own pain. I guess watching my own dear Missy change before my eyes helped me to understand YOU better. And slowly I started to sympathize with you. Like earlier this year. Remember the homecoming dance, when you found out your dad couldn't come, because he was delayed on his business trip, and your mom was busy with another girl's night out? I saw you crying on the school stairs. That was when I really started to contemplate taking you on, but Missy still needed me. Poor thing was like a fish out of water at the school. Then, finally, the thing that truly made me decide was the fiasco with you and Nick. I couldn't help thinking if you had me by your side things might have gone better. Nick's own former Monster was as bad as Celeste, so it's no wonder he screwed it up. But if you had had ME, at least one of you would have made a better choice."

Devin stared at Mona in awe. She was absolutely thunderstruck. "You...... you were really watching me that entire time?"

Mona nodded. "Yes, my dear. And also tonight. I saw the entire thing with you and Missy. Her comforting you, you hugging her, after your moving speech. That's when I realized you had truly changed. Just like Missy herself. When I first met her she was just a scrawny nerd with overalls and braces. Now she's a fiery young woman with boundless horniness and boundless romantic possibilities. And YOU." She looked around Devin's room, at her now bare walls and makeup table, and at her makeup in the trash can. She smiled. "Yes, you. You've definitely come a long way. "

Devin smiled. "Well, Coco helped me a lot. She truly lit a fire inside me. Not like those Anxiety Mosquitoes or Depression Kitties, always keeping you down. She truly inspired me to change."

Mona nodded. "Yes. And no. I mean obviously she made you realize that you should love yourself, and not care what others think as long as YOU love yourself, but it was also YOU. YOU wanted to change, Devin. Deep down you always did, but as you said yourself tonight, you were afraid people would see you as weak, and you'd go back into your shell again. I get it. Just like you are with boys. I mean, if you don't mind me asking, besides Nick and Devon, how experienced are you?"

Devin looked down at the floor. She could feel her face going red. She couldn't say it. It was too embarrassing. 

But Emmy answered for her. "No experience. She's a virgin. "

Devin turned to her, aghast. "EMMY!!!", she gasped. 

Mona laughed. "It's all right, darling. I figured as much. You ARE only 15, after all. So is Missy. I honestly don't understand why you humans, especially Americans, get so ashamed over your virginity. I mean, sure I'm a Hormone Monstress, but I still believe virginity is a beautiful thing. But, like, I feel I must ask, are they also the only boys you've ever kissed?"

Devin looked at the floor for about another minute before she slowly nodded. 

Mona smiled. "Obviously I already knew the answer. But enlighten me darling. I mean, Missy had the hots for Devon, so did lots of other girls. But you two always appeared to be the hot item at school, yet I don't think I ever really saw you two hang out AFTER school, when I occasionally kept tabs on you. Forgive me for asking, but what exactly WAS the deal with you and Devon?"

Devin sighed. She KNEW this would eventually come up with SOMEBODY. She never dreamed it would be a monster, but she knew eventually SOMEBODY was going to ask this question, a question she had been dreading. But she decided to tell. In a way, she felt she would finally feel better. She looked at Emmy, who nodded encouragingly. "Honestly, Devin, I'm not NOT curious", she said. 

Devin sighed, then began. "Ok, well, as you probably heard, I met Lola and Devon in kindergarten. Me and Devon became quick friends, even though I was shy, because our names were so similar. In fact some people would confuse our names, call HIM Devin or ME Devon, or call us BOTH Devin or Devon. We both became friends with Lola, because she didn't have many friends because even then she was difficult to get along with. But the three of us became really close. People would often tease me and Devon when they saw us hanging out. The usual: "Devon and Devin sitting in a tree......" You know. But neither of us really felt anything. We were just friends. The three of us went on to elementary school together, and we were still teased, both for our similar names, and because people thought we were a couple. We eventually decided it would be funny if we actually PRETENDED to be a couple. Just for laughs. I mean our families knew each other, our parents were close friends too, doing what adults do when they hang out."

Devin took a few moments to catch her breath, then continued. "When we got to middle school we decided to step it up a notch. Instead of just holding hands or kissing on the cheek, we started fully kissing and making out, to appear to keep up with others who were doing it. Neither of us actually FELT anything. At least I didn't. I'm not entirely sure about Devon, but I could tell he had his eyes on other girls anyway. That was the deal: I mean, we were both free to call it off anytime, and free to pursue other people. Because we both promised each other the 'couples' charade would only last until high school. But I never actually pursued anybody, because like I said, I'm not actually very social outside school, just playing a part, plus I....... Well, I was more focused on school anyway. Because of course my parents expect the best of me and my sister. Expect us to be like THEM. Overachievers. The best. Popular. Like that's the only way you'll get ahead in life. "

Mona nodded. "Like my own parents. I understand. But what about the wedding and divorce thing?"

Devin sighed. "Well, we both sort of discussed it as a joke, but when Lars, being the son of a minister, heard us, he said he could give us a pretend wedding. You know, for fun. For Devon, of course, he'd be the most popular guy in school, and people would forget about his diminishing performance on the basketball team. You know, his arthritis and all. I just wanted to keep up my own image, because of course Ali and Gina were getting lots of attention. Then the boys made those lists. Deep down I was actually GLAD that I was no longer the talk of the school, that somebody else was stealing the spotlight, but I was afraid, like I said earlier. So I agreed. Devon joked about me saying I'd give him a handjob. " She saw Mona's inquisitive look, and quickly added "I DIDN'T, of course. Because there was nothing between us, plus we were KIDS. But of course things only got worse after. "

Mona nodded. "The divorce. Yes. Then the re-marriage. What happened there?"

Devin took a deep breath, then continued. "Well, as you know, we told the school about going to Rye Playland for our honeymoon. We did no such thing of course. No way two children could run off alone without adult supervision. I can't believe everybody bought that. " She laughed bitterly, then went on. "When I noticed Devon looking at Missy, as you KNOW", she said, with a bravely sarcastic look at Mona, which, she noticed, she seemed to admire, "I said those bitchy things to Missy. I mean, as you know, seemed to actually bother Devon. I mean, I know we both promised we could see other people, but I knew now it would seem weird if we both pursued other people IMMEDIATELY after the wedding, even though it was just a "child marriage." I mean, it'd be a huge MIDDLE SCHOOL celebrity deal. So of COURSE I got upset. By now you're wondering if our families KNEW about the deal. Well, yes. I mean, his did. At least his mom, his dad was in jail again, and his uncle, his dad's brother, was taking care of both of them. Cause he felt guilty his deadbeat brother couldn't take care of them. Also his grandparents sometimes came around. "

She stopped to catch her breath. She was feeling tired now. But she still wanted to get the full story out. After a few big breaths, she continued. 

"Well, as for mine, yes, to an extent. We told them it was a wedding, but they just thought like on a playground somewhere, like little kids. Yeah, it's kind of insulting. I mean we were 13, but they sometimes still treated us like we were fucking KINDERGARTNERS!!!! Being a tween is HARD, you know? " She saw Mona nod. "I mean, both my parents are often busy. My dad works for a luxury car dealership corporation, and often travels to different branches of the dealership, here and in other states. That's where he is right now, another business trip. As a member he gets a huge discount on some of its cars. We usually get a new one every two years or so. My mom works as a soccer coach for women and girls of all ages, including at different schools. She used to even coach at Bridgeton Middle before I went there, but every time she got a request there while I was there she denied it. I asked her why, and she said it would be weird coaching her own daughter. Like our relationship would complicate working conditions, or something like that. "Devin heard her voice crack, and felt the tears burning her eyes. "Like, I wouldn't care if she called me daughter or Devin at school, in front of everyone. I'd call her 'Coach or Abigail or MOM', whatever she WANTED, if she would just BE THERE!!! Be there and SEE me, her first-born daughter, during what are supposed to be the best years of my life!!". Devin couldn't fight it anymore, and broke down crying uncontrollably. 

Emmy gasped and walked over, putting her arms around Devin and pulling her close. She patted her soothingly. "It's ok, Devin. I'm here. It's all right. Shhhh. There, there. Just take a breath. " Devin felt her warm glow before she saw it through her tear-closed eyes. She opened them and saw Emmy's calming smile framed by her glowing body. Devin loved that glow. So beautiful. So relaxing and calming. She felt a bit of her sadness lift, and took several deep breaths as she wiped her eyes. Emmy patted her again and turned to Mona." Mona, go into the kitchen and get Devin a bottle of water from the fridge. She needs to relax her throat, she's been talking a long time, and she's probably thirsty. "

Devin had to admit, she WAS thirsty, and her throat definitely WAS sore from talking so long. She looked to Mona, who was giving Emmy a strong look of reproval for asking her to do such a thing. But finally she nodded and opened the door and stepped out. Devin knew Mona would be invisible to anybody else in the house unless she chose otherwise. She wiped her face and turned to Emmy, who was still glowing. She smiled as much as she could. "Thanks Emmy. I really HAVE loved your company this past week. You really didn't have to stick around. I know you have other jobs."

Emmy smiled and grabbed Devin's soft, skinny hand. "Shhhh, not another word. Like I said, I just COULDN'T bring myself to leave until you're TRULY happy. When I first met you, I was just there because of the snogging thing with Nick, because that's kind of a regular Lovebug service, but after my brief Hateworm phase, I stayed not for your new love for YOURSELF, but something else. " She pulled Devin into a hug again. "Devin, over the past few years I've taken on many clients after learning what real responsibility means. And all those jobs, there were so many times I could have quit when the going got tough, and one time I even got fired, but I refused to give up. I stuck around not because of my clients love for EACH OTHER, in fact sometimes there were times when love looked like it might NOT conquer all. No, I stuck around because of how they made ME feel, that feeling caring so much for somebody brings to MY heart, that reminds me of what the best part of being a Lovebug IS. Same with YOU. Devin, I stay for MY love for YOU." 

Devin felt her heart grow warmer and less heavy with sadness in her glow and at her words. She smiled, and hugged Emmy back. "I love you too, Emmy. You really SHOULD stick around. I mean, I'm definitely not going to be looking for a new boy anytime soon, but Tiffany is just starting middle school herself, and will probably meet a cute boy soon, and getting HER first kiss. If you stuck around for her, you and me could still hang sometime. I'd really hate to lose you too."

Emmy laughed and shook her head. "I really doubt your sister is looking for a boyfriend. I hear her talking on her phone to her little girl friends all the time about how boys have cooties and should be quarantined. The usual little girl chitchat. She's only 12, she'll grow out of it soon. But Devin, look, no matter what......"

"Sorry it took so long ", Mona said as she walked back into the room, making both Emmy and Devin jump. "I couldn't help sneaking a peak into your mom's drawers on the way. She DOES keep it freaky while your dad's away, eyebrows eyebrows. " Seeing Devin's blush, she laughed. "Oh relax, Devin, she's a WOMAN!!! You'll understand one day, darling. In fact we'll get into that after you finish your story. But here, first. Drink." She handed Devin the bottle of cold water she'd brought her from the fridge. "I think your cats saw me, or at least smelled me. They were standing alert on the kitchen table."

Devin grabbed the water and twisted off the cap, taking a big drink. The water soothed her throat, which hurt from both talking so long and crying. After a minute, she took another sip and replaced the cap, putting the half-empty bottle on her nightstand next to the clock radio. She took another deep breath as she wiped her tired eyes. They were weary with both tears and tiredness. She couldn't wait to finish this story, to get this weight off her chest, so she could finally sleep better after sharing her entire story. She knew she'd probably fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She hoped at least. 

Emmy sensed her eagerness to continue. She smiled. "Ready, hon? You still want to continue?"

Devin nodded, and looked at Mona, who nodded back. "Yes, darling. Let's hear what happened next, leading up to the divorce." 

Devin nodded again, and took one more deep breath before she continued. "Well, as you know, Devon ran off with Missy that day, leaving me alone. When she got back, her and I had that big argument where we both said stuff, cutting each other deep. Me and Devon got into a pretty big argument later over the phone, at our homes. We talked for over an hour, about our so-called "marriage", about other people, about our place. He proposed divorce. Figures. Only a couple months and he already wanted to end it. But I could tell he had a thing for Missy. And maybe I myself liked....... SOMEBODY, but at the same time I just wanted to focus on school, cause I thought maybe if I did great, if me and my sister did great in school, my parents would reward us with a family trip, if they ever got time off from work. So I agreed to the divorce, and pretended to be upset when Caleb handed me the papers. Naturally it was all over the school in just hours. But things really came to a head once the school started saying it was because I didn't give him the handjob, which, again, neither of us was serious about. The whole time we knew each other I never even SAW his....... you know. The only......... thing I ever saw was Nick's when Lola pulled down his pants at the golf course. " Devin felt herself blush at the memory. Lola and her lack of control. She took a few moments to catch her breath before she continued. 

"Well, once that got out I had people hating me left and right. In person and social media. I tried my best to ignore it. Meanwhile Devon was LOVING it, playing the part of a soon-to-be divorced middle school student, and had girls lining up. Gina, even though she was with Charles. The Jansen Twins. Izzy and Misha. And of course Missy, who of course I could tell he was aiming for. If only she knew....."

Emmy and Mona stared, waiting for her to continue. "Knew WHAT, darling?", Mona pressed finally. 

Devin sighed, and continued. "Well, the day the divorce made the morning announcement and school paper, I heard Devon talking to Charles and the other basketball guys. About our divorce, and how he was having to fight off girls with a stick. At one point he mentioned Missy, and........ and he said she's cute but a total NERD. " She saw Mona's look of shock and anger. Devin nodded and scowled. "YES. I heard him tell them about their trip into the city, to see her cousins. Heard him making fun of them too. I mean, I know I said mean things to her, which I now regretted, and still do, but at least I didn't flirt with her only to make fun of her behind her back. Plus he was only fanning the flames of the handjob story. So, partly to play along with the divorce drama, but partly to make things harder for him, I made that video telling girls not to date boys while I was going through my divorce. I mean, as you probably know I got lots of messages from guys saying that I was the villain, people saying it's"just a handjob ", and stuff like that. I kinda enjoyed the attention, in some masochistic way. But, in hindsight, maybe I was hoping Missy would see the video and follow my advice, and not date Devon. Cause I mean, as I said, I felt bad about teasing her during the field trip, and also hated how Devon was making fun of her behind her back. I just wasn't brave enough to tell her directly what I had heard. Not like she'd have any reason to BELIEVE me anyway", she said with a rueful scoff. 

Mona shook her head again sadly. "Poor Missy. And the whole time she never knew what an asshole he was. But YOU did, I reckon?"

Devin nodded. "Yes. Of course. I mean, he always wanted to go further with our public displays of affection, just to keep up appearances. Like trying to touch my boobs or my ass. I always had to pull his hands away. Like not only was I not comfortable with that, but I was afraid people would get the wrong idea, think we were doing OTHER stuff, which of course we WEREN'T. As you know we seldom saw each other outside of school, only occasionally talked to each other on the phone, or ran into each other with our families at a store. I just hated how he tried to force more from me to keep up appearances. "

Emmy frowned. "Oh Devin", she cooed, and patted her shoulder sympathetically. 

Devin shook her head angrily. "I SHOULD have tried telling Missy. I really SHOULD have. Maybe some of that stuff that happened next might not have happened. You know about the Hateworm thing that year? Emmy even told me you know one? Rochelle?"

Mona nodded. "Yes. She was Missy's Hateworm. Now sometimes works as her Lovebug. She helped me and Missy patch things up not long ago. "

"She's my best friend ", Emmy added. "Well, USUALLY."

Devin nodded. "Well, I bet a big reason she showed up as a Hateworm was BECAUSE of Devon. Remember swim practice? When Missy was staring at Devon, and he went up to talk to her? Well, you obviously knew about her back acne. I heard him mention it to his basketball teammates before class one morning. I put two and two together and figured out THAT was why he stopped chasing her, because he never talked to her AFTER that. And that was around the time Missy started that club. Nick and Jessi and some others joined. Ali too. And I remember Jessi and Ali taking over the protest from Missy. And then they got arrested for breaking the statue, and Missy posted that story. And everybody started swarming it and commenting and smearing Jessi and Ali left and right. "Devin frowned and looked at the floor, and sighed. "Including Devon and ME. I mean, I should have set a better example and tried to comfort Jessi, especially because of her parent's divorce. My mom is friends with her mom, and I hear them on the phone a lot. But of course instead of helping Jessi I talked about her leg hair. Then she ended up hurting herself trying to shave, because of what I said. I mean, I shave because my mom never lets me get in the shower without reminding me every morning and night. But of course I didn't have to SAY it. And then I joined in on the harassment, after they got arrested. Imagine my surprise when I eventually heard it was MISSY who posted it!!!" She laughed. "People probably thought it was me. More than a few." She shook her head, still unable to face Mona or Emmy. Her throat was getting sore again, and she was feeling thirsty again. 

She reached over and grabbed the water. She twisted off the cap and took a few big sips. She replaced the cap and took a breath. She set the bottle back down. Almost gone. Should be just enough left after she finished. Just enough left to take a sleep aid and get to bed. A long rest, a clear conscience. She sighed and finally faced Mona again, who was still watching her patiently, waiting for her to continue. Emmy had moved to the chair by the window where Celeste had sat, giving her space. She took a breath, then continued. 

"I mean, I always kind of got the feeling Jessi was on a dark path. Running away from home. Shoplifting. Then that. I mean, truth is I ALWAYS felt bad for her. I mean, my parents work like crazy, but at least me and my sister got BOTH. Usually. I always felt like I should have been a better friend to Jessi. She needed one so many times. But I guess I was just too afraid, too aloof as part of my cover. That's exactly how it happened. The re-marriage. " She sighed and took a deep breath. "I was really thinking about doing it that year, you know? Just focus on MYSELF. I was watching everybody go crazy. Andrew and that teacher. Jay and Lola. Jessi and Ali and the statue. That rumor. That fight in the cafeteria. To be honest I was just so confused. And a bit frightened. I hate to admit it, but without Devon I was feeling lost. I had Celeste, and she kept pushing me to ask out other boys. But I wasn't ready. I mean I felt bad about Jessi and her leg, especially after commenting on Missy's post like a bitch. And Lola was always whining about Jay every time we talked. I just wanted to end the charade, just wanted to drop the popular girl facade and just be MYSELF, focus on school. I mean, I could have done it. Like the test. Remember when we had that big test, just before the Disclosure play?" Mona shook her head. "Oh right, you met Missy during rehearsal. Well, Jay was giving everybody pills. Almost the whole school took one. Not ME. I mean, I didn't NEED a pill. I had Petra. Who needs a concentration pill when you have an Ambition Gremlin screaming at you the entire time? Just like Celeste, I had had Petra since I was around 11. It's like my mom's warnings about middle school suddenly just came to life when I got there, and I was like a fish out of water. My mom telling me to study my ass off, but also look out for myself, rise to the top of the pack. "Show them you're a LeSeven", she said. Before long I had Petra in my ear all day every day. She and her kind knew my parents well indeed. My entire family." She shook her head sadly. 

"Anyway, that year, during the entire Hateworm debacle, I really thought about it. Just hanging it up, focus on schoolwork. Maybe kick Petra to the curb, find a study partner who wouldn't yell. Maybe Missy, who I felt bad for. I was ready. But then......" She took a long breath. "Then Devon came crawling back. Saying he wanted to get back together. Or rather bring back the act. Saying he was going through a difficult time too. I mean, I knew what had been going on. The night he called me, he told me it was getting worse at home, his mom having to work two jobs, his uncle getting sick, sharing the room with his cousins. It must have been hell. Plus him and his mom had visited his dad in prison, after he was sentenced for carjacking and gun possession. Plus I knew how bad his juvenile arthritis was getting. His dad has arthritis too, but it didn't stop him from committing crimes. "She shook her head. " I had to think. For a long time. I actually had to call him back as I sat and thought. I weighed my choices, and listened to the opinions of Celeste and Petra. I knew my mom would tell me to keep my clique close. Many of her friends in high school are now still close. All successful like mom. One works for the paper and some tabloids. All gossip of course. One is a hairstylist in Brooklyn I think. All still close to my mom. Like she credits her success to THEM. Petra agreed, to an extent, but also said I needed the school in MY pocket again. I could still focus on academic success in private. She'd continue to drill sergeant me, and have me hit the books, and internet when necessary, on a daily basis. But I NEEDED to keep those lives SEPARATE. If word ever got out that I, Devin LeSeven, was actually a mostly straight A student, and also a video game nerd and a lover of hard rock and even metal as compared to the pop bullshit of most early teenagers, my life would be over. Especially if I got the courage to be seen like THIS. " She gestured to her freckled face. "I was so brainwashed into following this elaborate disguise I learned to neglect, and hide, my NATURAL beauty. Because my mom did. 'Because SHE did it. ' Those were Petra's words. 'Because SHE did it, and SHE survived.'"

Devin sighed and took a deep breath. " Celeste of course just suggested I look for a new boy. Ask my dad if any of his work colleagues had sons my age. " She scoffed and shook her head. "Finally, after half an hour of Petra's endless screaming, I called him back and said yes. 'Yes, let's go with it. Let's get remarried.' She shook her head and sighed. " Just like that. Back undercover. Back to living a lie. "

"The day we announced it, I almost called it off, after he told me about his fight with Nick the night before. And when I saw Nick's nose, I just....." She paused, and again felt a sudden rage at the memory. "I just got so.......So ANGRY. I wanted to dump him, end it, call the ENTIRE thing off right then and there. But Tito and Petra showed up and put the kibosh on that, reminding me if I lost my crew, I'd just have THEM, Celeste and Lola, and nobody to catch me in high school, which wasn't long off. So I just let it go, but still made Devon apologize to Nick the night we renewed our vows, on New Year's night. "

She sighed and grabbed the water, looking at the time and gasped. 12: 50 AM. Yikes, she'd been talking THAT LONG?

Emmy seemed to read her mind. "Devin, you need to take a break. Finish that water, Mona will go get you another. Maybe actually get INTO bed so you're more comfortable. "

Devin nodded. "And I'll turn out my overhead light and just plug in the lights over my curtain. "

And so Devin stood up and, after downing the rest of the water and tossing it into the trash can with her makeup, lipstick, earrings and photos, went to the corner of her room and plugged in the old Christmas lights she had wrapped around her curtain to provide adequate light at night as she slept. Devin preferred to sleep with music and light. It quieted her mind, helped her fall asleep easier, faster. 

She turned around and saw Emmy propping up her pillow against the head of her bed, the sheets already pulled down. 

Devin smiled. "Oh Emmy, you didn't have to do that, I was gonna......"

Emmy smiled. " Oh it's ok. The least I can do. This must all be so hard, Devin. Remembering all this, reliving it as you tell it. Talking so much."

Devin smiled again. "No actually, I think it's really helping me a lot. Finally getting it all out there. I'm glad you're staying for all of it though. By the way, what was that you were fixing to tell me last time, before Mona walked in?"

Emmy appeared to think for a moment, as if struggling to decide something, then shook her head. "It was nothing. Just remember though, Devin, that as long as you love YOURSELF, always, I'll always be a part of you. You keep love alive in your heart, you live in ME. Because as a Lovebug I live by the love of all, and I can feel each person's love in me, and I know who's is whose, and I'll always know yours. "

She pulled Devin into a hug. Devin smiled, but felt her eyes start to water. " I don't want you to go, but I know you'll have to soon. "

Emmy smiled as they pulled apart, and saw the tears in Devin's eyes. She wiped one with her sleeve. "I will, my desk must be cluttered with clients from the Tube. But I'll stick around here for the rest of the story. And I PROMISE I will drop in when I can. " She smiled again just as Mona reentered with another bottle of water. 

Mona handed the bottle to Devin, who sat it on her dresser as she settled into bed. Slipping under the covers she settled her head and back on the pillow Emmy had adjusted. Grabbing the bottle and twisting off the cap, she took a quick sip and checked the time. 1: 05 AM. 'I bet I can finish by 2, and still be able to take a sleep aid and get to bed. Tomorrow is Saturday anyway, and even mom sleeps in on the weekend. Sometimes she doesn't get up until 11!!!'

She replaced the cap and set the water down. Sitting up as comfortably as she could, she took a deep breath as she remembered where she had been. "So, let's see, where were we? Right, New Year's Eve night, the re-marriage, then next year, last months of middle school, the permanent end of our so-called 'marriage', Devon leaving, then me in high school, and everything up to TONIGHT, I guess?"

Mona nodded. "Yes, pretty much. Then, after all that, I want to discuss other stuff. You know, home life, which we only seem to have scratched the surface of. Body image issues, the jealousy you mentioned, and didn't you mention Depression Kitties? You have depression?" 

Devin shrugged. "Sometimes. Yeah, I guess we can talk about it. " She sighed. She had a feeling this WOULD take more than another hour. 

"Ok, so, anyway, after New Year, and that party at Nick's and so on. Last months of middle school. Ok." 

She closed her eyes just for a second. Lots of times staying up late gave her a headache. She didn't feel one coming now, and the water helped calm her a bit, as well as Emmy's presence. After a moment she opened her eyes, and saw Emmy sitting on the chair by the window, glowing faintly to keep Devin calm, her glow mixing well with the lights on the curtain. Mona, meanwhile, sat on her now empty bureau desk. She nodded at her to continue. 

Devin nodded back and sighed. With a couple more deep breaths, she opened her tired mouth to continue.......

End of chapter 2