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Operation: Envy	By : pronker Category: +M through R > Penguins of Madagascar Views: 447 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I make no profit from this fanfiction set in Dreamworks' Penguins of Madagascar franchise. I do not own Dreamworks.

Chapter List
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"Before you start, Buck, look, the Museum of Natural History!" Marlene chirped. The amazing marble edifice that furnished many a penguin commando mission loomed on their left. Banners strung along its facade blared cheery news and for those who couldn't read, the gaudy images of butterflies and dinosaur skeletons told of adventures within. "It'll open in an hour for holiday crowds, so you wanna break in before the humans for a sneaky peek tour?"
Buck snorted. "That's a big fat nope, Arlene. I'd rather not be reminded that I'm a museum piece."
"Way to spread sunshine, Buck. And it's Marlene."
"Don't make me turn this car around, you two. Better things up ahead, I promise." Now Skipper had to fulfill that promise as a matter of duty. He drove silently as he ignored the chilly atmosphere in the car, traversed a successful right turn onto Central Park North and then another right onto Fifth Avenue heading south. He also ignored if New York streets were one way or not because he could; their little car followed as few rules of the road as did its main driver, Rico. Hugging the lane closest to Central Park, he found himself only half listening to Buck's story.
"Since Whitey showed the albino's intolerance to light, she always wore dark glasses even at night, not to mention inside whatever Spider Monkey Bar she favored for the evening. I used that in my strategy because she didn't see clearly that I wore a disguise. The spider monkey suit chafed me in uncomfortable places, but I toughed it out. She and I got to know each other at the bar and then we moved to a table where before I knew it, she put the moves on - "
"What? What did you say, Buck?" asked Marlene, but Buck's head had tipped back and small snores issued from him. "Gah, Skipper, you chauffeuring him is like taking a fussy baby for a drive to put them to sleep."
"Hush, I'm thinking." Visit the Conservatory Garden? Nah, too sedate.
"Hmmmph." Skipper drove on the sidewalk as a change of pace to spur his brain into options, since Kowalski wasn't along to provide any. A tree root buckled the sidewalk and before he knew it, their car flew airborne for a split second before shplumfingback down.
" - where was I? How can I tell my story with you two interrupting all the time? Hush up." Buck cleared his throat. "Albinos have pink eyes, you know."
"Duh, Buck."
"Well, the only time she took off her shades so I could see her pretty pink eyes was when we Ubered back to her hotel. I poured a scotch and soda for her and a mineral water for me, turned around to pass her drink over and out of the blue roared a KABLAMMzzzzzzzzzl - "
"What was it? What happened next, Buck?"
"He's out again, Marlene. Let him be."
Marlene sighed. "I'm not getting any younger, honey, waiting for the end of his story."
"Me neither." Skipper drove back onto the macadam and swerved to avoid an antiquated Yugo. He cudgeled his brain for an activity suitable for a nonagenarian in penguin years. The Yugo developed steering problems or its driver did, one or the other, so Skipper applied evasive combat driving maneuvers that made Marlene clutch the side of the car.
" - and the next morning, bad weather howled in from Lake Erie so I figured, hey, nothing else to do that morning but arrest her. Headquarters sent me a bonus after her arrest for duty above and beyond blah blah, but you know what?"
This part of his tale revealed all Buck intended to tell them, okay; Skipper would not pursue details. By her look, Marlene had reached the same conclusion. "What, Buck?" his love asked softly.
"I gave it to Newark North State Animal Prison for her kitty."
Marlene gasped. "Her kitty? Prison lets you keep pets?"
Skipper and Buck burst out laughing. Marlene always could take a joke and said in supreme good nature, "All right, I'm missing something. I'll wait." She placed a paw on the back of each of their seats to shake them into explaining.
"B-Babe - tee hee - stop the shaking, all right? - her kitty is her fun fund in prison. You know, for candy and cigarettes and stuff. Friends can pay into it to keep prisoners as content as they can be with no freedom."
"Oh."
Skipper felt an oblique pang in his gut when Buck added, "I envy you two. You've got each other and all I have are memories. What happens when they leave me?"
"Oh, Buck," Marlene began but Skipper intervened because if situations were reversed, he would have wanted Buck to.
"Thanks. She's the cream in my fish coffee."
"He's my man, the father of my kids," Marlene said with a bluntness Skipper did not associate with her.
It wasn't until his unfailing penguin sense of nearby water prickled him that he pulled into the park, rattling over the curb to squawks from Marlene and a huhwhazzat from snoozing Buck. A swim in Jackie Kennedy Onassis Reservoir was just what the day called for, he congratulated himself. After secreting the car under the waving seductive fronds of a weeping willow, he bailed out. "Follow me for a swim, troops."
"Yah, I don't think so. My arthritis hurts today." Buck crossed his flippers over his chest stubbornly.
Skipper wasn't having any. "You can hurt in the car or you can hurt in the water. I'm saying the water. Come on, soldier."
Just like a kid, Buck sulled up with a grumpy face, but Skipper had the greater experience with kids. "You get into the water in the next five minutes and we'll stop at Luigi's snowcone cart later." He gestured to Marlene, who looked like her own mouth watered at the mention of snowcones, and she followed him to the reedy bank of the reservoir after an uncertain look at Buck. The couple observed the surroundings without committing to a swim, which was surefire evidence of long time reconaissance practice.
In the middle of the reservoir spouted its fountain, just like the Jet d'Eau fountain in Lake Geneva. Its burbling reached their respective ears and earholes to soothe and calm their minds into holiday moods. They directed wispy smiles at each other, happy in their own little world of love. "Good idea, boy."
"I'm glad you think so, girl."
They kissed until Buck crept up on them. "Cut it out or get a room. Perimeter secured, Romeo?"
"Perimeter secured, sir," replied Skipper. "Permission given to swim. Cannonball!"
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Operation: Envy