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Chipmunk Development	By : EGBFan Category: +1 through F > Alvin & The Chipmunks Views: 2918 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Alvin and the Chipmunks, and I make no money from writing about it.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Chapter 2
Theodore and Eleanor were walking home from school arm in arm, ahead of their siblings. Alvin walked with Simon, and Brittany with Jeanette, who was staring at the sky with her mind elsewhere.
'I know that you're planning on working to the end of the semester,' Alvin was saying to Simon, 'but surely you can see that nobody else is. Or practically nobody, anyway.'
'It's going to be our senior year!' said Simon. 'It wouldn't be fair of them to just let us coast until summer vacation. They're trying to give us a good start, Alvin.'
'I'm not saying anything against anybody's intentions,' said Alvin. 'We all want to do our best, Simon, but it's just completely impractical. Everyone's too hot to really bother, and they're looking forward to summer vacation. If we do learn anything now, we'll have forgotten it by September, and that's why the teachers should play videos in our classes like they do for everybody else.'
'Maybe Mr Williams could show a video of Wuthering Heights,' said Brittany. 'That'd be a pretty good compromise, wouldn't it? I mean, most of the students would get some benefit,' and she turned a facetious look onto Alvin.
'Huh.' Alvin scowled and kicked out at the next pebble he saw. 'Videos of Wuthering Heights are useless. Why didn't any of you tell me it was only half the story?'
'We didn't know which video you watched, Alvin,' said Jeanette, tuning in suddenly. 'There are some adaptations that tell the whole story... mini-series, really, rather than movies. I'd have told you if I'd thought of it, but...'
'Thank you, Jeanette,' Alvin said sincerely.
'I didn't think of it either,' said Simon, 'but if I had, I wouldn't have said anything. It serves you right, Alvin.'
'I think Mr Williams should have had a quiet word,' said Jeanette, 'instead of calling Alvin out in front of the whole class.'
'Oh, I don't know,' said Brittany. 'If it was any other student, I'd agree – but it made a nice change to see you lost for words, Alvin.' She laughed. 'The look on your face when he asked you how you thought the themes continued into the next generation...'
Alvin turned a scowl onto her. 'It's not as though you read the book!'
'Not every word,' said Brittany, 'but I do know the story.'
'You really think that's gonna be enough?' said Alvin. 'I'll just bet that next week, when Mr Williams wants to know what you're going to write about in your essay...'
Sensing a long argument, Simon clicked his tongue in reproach and quickened his pace to get ahead of the group. As he did so, Brittany turned round and placed a hand on Alvin's chest to halt his movements; he was so surprised that he stopped talking as well as walking. He looked enquiringly at the side of Brittany's head – the only view he had of her, as she had turned away from him to watch while Jeanette wandered safely out of earshot.
When she judged the coast to be clear, Brittany turned to Alvin and whispered, 'It could be tonight.'
'What could?' said Alvin.
Brittany smiled at him. 'You know. The treehouse. We could sleep over.'
'Oh!' A light came on in Alvin's eyes; he grinned, and could not resist the urge to wrap his arms around Brittany's waist as she stood there with her hand against his heart. 'Then you're ready?'
Brittany nodded. 'Emotionally and practically. When I played hooky a few days ago, I went to the pharmacy. They were very helpful.'
'I see,' said Alvin. 'Was that when Jeanette said you had cramps? I did wonder about that.'
'About the cramps?' said Brittany. 'Yeah... we don't get that.'
'Did you explain at the pharmacy...?'
'Of course. It should be all right.'
'Should be?' said Alvin, still gazing at her with lust in his eyes.
'Well,' said Brittany, 'at the risk of spouting clichés, there are no guarantees in life. We should be able to wake up tomorrow morning and see each other every day for years to come, but what if we can't for some reason? I want to be with you, Alvin.'
'I want that too,' said Alvin, and he kissed her deeply. Both of them felt a shiver of lust at the action, and Brittany's cheeks were flushed when she pulled out of the kiss and asked breathlessly, 'Do you care if the others see?'
'I could live with that,' said Alvin, 'but I don't think they will. Your back is obscuring their view.'
'Well, in that case...' Brittany giggled, and kissed him again.
'Brittany!' Miss Miller's voice cut loudly and suddenly into the moment. Brittany whirled round in alarm, blushing furiously.
'Come on inside now, honey!' Miss Miller called, with a friendly wave. 'I want to talk to you girls!'
'I don't think she even noticed,' Alvin said quietly to Brittany, as she tugged nervously at her crumpled clothing and tidied her hair.
'I'll come talk to you when she's done with us,' said Brittany, as they carried on walking together. 'I wonder what the hell she wants.'
'She seems like she's in a good mood, at least,' said Alvin, as they approached his own front gate. Before walking down the path to the door, he reached behind Brittany and gave her a gentle squeeze on the butt; she squealed and giggled, then scurried off towards her own home.
As he went into the house, Alvin felt a mixture of nervousness and arousal as he imagined himself and Brittany naked together on her bed in the treehouse. He tried to stave off these images until he could get upstairs to the bedroom or bathroom, which he thought would take no time at all. He was wrong, however; when he entered the hallway, he found that the stairs were blocked by Simon and Theodore, both wreathed in smiles, with their arms around Vinny.
'Mom!' Alvin said joyously, rushing to hug her and feeling grateful that he had managed to stave off those images just enough to keep him flaccid.
It was Alvin who answered the door to Miss Miller and the Chipettes. In turn Miss Miller, Eleanor and then Jeanette greeted him as they entered the house, until finally he and Brittany were facing each other across the threshold.
His voice a mixture of apology, humour, happiness and desire, Alvin said, 'My mom's here.'
'I know,' said Brittany. 'Miss Miller told me.'
'She's staying the night.'
'I understand.'
He watched her walk past him through the entrance hall, and she smiled when he gave a little growl of frustration, disguised to everyone else by the sound of the door clicking shut.
During this exchange, Eleanor had gone to see whether she could help in the kitchen while Jeanette, hearing muffled sounds coming from below, was hovering around the basement door. She opened it a crack and called timidly, 'Hello? Simon?' Moments later, Simon shot suddenly up the stairs and closed the door behind him.
'Hello, Jeanette,' he said.
'Hi, Simon,' said Jeanette. 'I think it's almost time for dinner, if you're ready.'
'Well, hold on now,' said Miss Miller, appearing suddenly from the dining room. 'There's still some time if Simon wants to finish whatever he was doing and, Jeanette, if you wanted to talk to anybody else while you were waiting...' She looked vaguely around the hallway, then said, 'Simon, dear, where's your mother?'
'My mother?' said Simon, surprised at the question. 'She's in the basement.'
'Oh,' said Jeanette. 'So... she knows what you're doing down there?'
'Oh, well.' Simon blushed and avoided her eye. 'I'm not doing very much of anything, really.'
'You didn't lock the door, did you?' said Jeanette.
'No. Oh, but I closed it, didn't I?' Simon said guiltily, and he turned to open it again, revealing the sight of Vinny ascending the last couple of stairs. 'Um... sorry about that, Mom.'
'That's all right, sweetie,' Vinny said, as Simon reached around her and switched off the light. She then looked at Jeanette, smiled and said, 'Hello, dear.'
'Hi,' said Jeanette.
'Simon,' said Miss Miller, 'shall we see if we can help out in the kitchen? I'll just bet they need somebody to lay the table.'
'Don't trouble yourself, Miss Miller,' said Simon. 'I'll go; you stay here and have a chat with Mom.'
'No, no, I want to help,' said Miss Miller, shepherding Simon into the kitchen and leaving Jeanette standing awkwardly around with Vinny.
'You're Jeanette, aren't you?' said Vinny.
'Um... yes,' said Jeanette, after a moment's thought. 'You remembered.'
'Of course,' said Vinny, and then she couldn't think of anything else to say. 'Well... maybe we'd better go into the dining room.'
They did so, and found Alvin and Simon laying the table while Theodore, Eleanor and Dave carried in various plates of food. Jeanette spotted Brittany hovering in the corner of the room, so she went to hover with her.
'Brittany,' said Jeanette. 'Do you know what Miss Miller really meant when she said we might like to talk to Vinny?'
'Huh?' said Brittany. 'Didn't she just mean that we might like to, well... talk to Vinny?'
'I don't think so,' said Jeanette. 'The parents have gone to a lot of effort here, and Miss Miller was acting kind of strange when she told us about it, didn't you think?'
'Yeah, I guess,' said Brittany. 'So, what did she mean?'
Jeanette shook her head. 'I have no idea.'
Vinny had to leave the next morning, and was only waiting for Alvin, Simon and Theodore to finish in the bathroom so she could say goodbye. While she waited, she found Dave in the kitchen clearing away the breakfast things, and asked him, 'Do the boys always shower together?'
'Well,' said Dave, 'I don't think they all actually get in the shower at the same time, but they sometimes like to talk in there while they're getting washed up.'
'That's nice,' said Vinny, smiling. 'I'm glad they're still so close after all these years; in the wild, chipmunk litters always end up going their separate ways. Did the girls ever live in the wild?'
'I don't think so,' said Dave. 'They used to be pets, in Australia.'
'Oh, they've come a long way,' said Vinny. 'Maybe next time, somebody'll tell me the story. But Dave, you're probably wondering about this time, so I thought I'd better tell you that none of the girls asked me anything and I didn't tell them anything. That's why you invited them over, isn't it?'
'Well, yes,' said Dave. 'Just in case they had questions that Miss Miller couldn't answer, but if they didn't have any, then I guess that's okay.'
'Of course it's okay,' said Vinny, 'and you can tell that to Miss Miller, if she's worried. Animals don't ask each other questions about those sorts of things, at least in my experience. It's instinct, Dave; they'll figure it out, if they haven't already.'
'Really?' said Dave. 'Because human women sometimes have trouble... I mean...'
'Humans have lost a lot of their instinct,' said Vinny, seeing that Dave was struggling, and trying not to smile at his obvious embarrassment. 'That's clear enough.'
'I just don't know that those kids have that much instinct left either,' said Dave. 'And I'm glad about that, if it means they're going to be careful.'
'Oh yes,' said Vinny, smiling politely. 'Careful. Of course.'
'They're not wild animals, remember.'
'No, they're not. But they are animals.'
During this exchange, and then while Dave and the boys were waving Vinny off, Brittany was in the treehouse preparing for Alvin's arrival. She stocked up the kitchen, made her bed and then spent a long time making herself clean and fragrant in the bathroom. Once she had got out of the bath and dried herself thoroughly, she turned her attention to a set of printed instructions that she retrieved from the bathroom cabinet, along with a small cervical cap and a tube of spermicidal gel. Whilst continually referring to the instructions, she filled a third of the cap with the gel and then began to insert the whole concoction into her vagina. She was in the process of doing this, standing with one leg raised and the foot resting on the side of the bathtub, when she heard Alvin calling, 'Brittany?'
'On my way, Alvin!' Brittany called back.
She made sure the cap was correctly fitted, squeezed another bead of gel onto her forefinger and inserted it, checked over the instructions one more time and finally threw on a pink silken bathrobe. She then made her way to the bedroom, where she found Alvin waiting by the ladder. Brittany smiled at his back view and said, 'It feels different being in here this time, doesn't it?'
Alvin turned at the sound of her voice, and smiled when he saw her wearing the silky bathrobe with her hair newly washed and falling loose around her face. They walked towards each other, meeting a few paces from the ladder, and hugged like old friends.
'You smell good,' said Alvin, as they pulled out of the embrace.
'I washed my hair for you,' Brittany said shyly.
'You look really beautiful.'
'Thank you. I know.'
Alvin reached up and stroked her hair, saying, 'Are you going to tell me about the pharmacy?'
'Oh yes, that,' said Brittany. 'Well, the short version is, I got some spermicidal gel and a diaphragm.'
'Oh, a diaphragm?' said Alvin. 'Does it fit? Well, I guess that's a stupid question...'
'It's technically a cervical cap,' said Brittany, 'but for me it's a diaphragm because those are bigger and they cover a wider area. The pharmacist and I figured it ought to work. I mean, I'm sure it will – it feels like a good fit.'
'Did they ask about your age?' said Alvin.
'Actually, no,' said Brittany, 'and now it's never going to be an issue, because the cap's supposed to last two years so I'll have been eighteen for ages when I need another one. We'll still need plenty of gel, but that's easier to get hold of – I can just put it in Miss Miller's shopping cart.'
'I'll get my share of that too,' said Alvin. 'And... we're sure it's going to work for us?'
'Well,' said Brittany, 'rat poison works on humans, right? And human poison certainly works on rats. And chipmunks.'
'That's not a very nice way of looking at it, is it?' said Alvin. 'But practical, I guess.'
'Right,' said Brittany, 'and we do need to be practical. I've thought about this a lot, Alvin. At the pharmacy, I was ready to lie and say I was eighteen, but they just didn't ask. Maybe because I acted eighteen, like I was totally confident asking about birth control and stuff. I guess that pharmacist wasn't a Chipettes fan, or she'd have known my age,' and she looked suddenly put out.
'Or more likely,' Alvin said bracingly, 'she just knew it's better to make sure teenagers are safe than ask a bunch of questions, because if they want to have sex, they're gonna do it either way.'
'She did just tactfully remind me about STIs,' said Brittany, 'but I told her there was no need to worry about that. I mean, we aren't going to give each other a bunch of diseases, are we?'
'Of course not,' said Alvin, hastening to reassure her as though it were a serious question. He started stroking her hair again, and gazed into her eyes as he said, 'Brittany, do you know that I love you?'
'Now, how would I know that?' said Brittany, smiling.
'I thought it was obvious.'
'Not always. Anyway, I wouldn't just assume.'
'Well,' said Alvin, 'I do love you. I've always loved you.'
'Oh, Alvin,' Brittany gushed. 'I love you too!'
They threw their arms around each other and started kissing; with their lips locked together, Brittany pulled Alvin gently towards her bed in the far corner of the room. When they were almost there, she wriggled out of her bathrobe; Alvin felt the slippery material moving underneath his hands, and loosened his grip. He broke the kiss and pulled his head back to see Brittany standing completely naked in his arms. They smiled at each other, then she backed out of his loose hold and lay down invitingly on her pink bedspread. Alvin stood gazing at her for some moments.
'I've dreamed about this,' he said hoarsely.
'Me too,' said Brittany.
In a sudden flurry of activity, Alvin scrambled out of his clothes and lay down beside her. They resumed kissing, both taking deep sniffs of the other's scent and slowly exploring each other with their hands. Brittany felt Alvin's cock pressing fully erect against her abdomen as she reached round and squeezed his buttocks, while he stroked her neck and her shoulders and kissed every inch of her face. He wanted to see and touch the parts of her that were pressed tight up against his chest and abdomen, so he pulled out of their kiss and sat straddling her knees, gazing down at her. She put her hands behind her head and smiled up at him, her breasts rising with the movement of her arms, looking perky and inviting. Alvin put a hand on each and began rolling them in his palms, gently squeezing the stiff and sensitive nipples.
'Ooh, that feels good, Alvin,' Brittany purred.
Encouraged by this, Alvin stooped and kissed each breast in turn, first the fleshy undersides and then the pink, erect nipples. Brittany began to moan with pleasure, running her hands over his arms and shoulders and sniffing at the hair on top of his head. He then began to move his kiss down her chest and abdomen, pausing when he reached her pussy and feeling as though he would drown in the scent of it. He had a sudden feeling that he ought to get inside her and ejaculate as quickly as possible, but he overruled it and moved down still further, planting kisses on her inner thighs.
'Mmm, Alvin,' Brittany sighed. 'Maybe I should let you take a turn, huh?'
'You can do whatever you want with me, Brittany,' said Alvin, popping back up again to meet her eyes and kiss her on the lips.
As they went on kissing, Brittany manipulated her own body and Alvin's so that he was lying on his back and she was looming over him. Very like he had done to her, she began kissing her way down his neck and then his torso, stopping when she reached his cock. She then rose slowly onto her knees, dragging her fingertips along his shaft as she did so, and Alvin moaned and sighed with pleasure. She ran her hands up and down the shaft, teasing the head with her fingertips, sometimes running them over his balls, and when his cock twitched violently she gave a little, 'Ooh!'
Alvin couldn't help laughing. 'Not what you expected?'
'It didn't do that before,' said Brittany. 'At least, not like that.'
'I think it's getting a little ahead of itself,' Alvin panted. 'Let's switch places again, okay?'
'Okay,' said Brittany, giggling, as Alvin wriggled out from under her and she lowered herself face-first onto the bed. Feeling Alvin run his fingers down her back as he knelt beside her, she stayed on her front and reached to sweep the hair from across her shoulders. Alvin at once began kissing the newly exposed area, while Brittany folded her arms on the pillow and rested her head on them.
Alvin kissed his way down her back, lingering on her buttocks until once again he was overwhelmed by the scent of her pussy. At this point, he rose to his knees and took a deep breath, his cock twitching madly and a bead of pre-cum forming on the tip.
'Don't stop,' murmured Brittany, and Alvin saw that she was spreading her legs, revealing a pink-rimmed and oozing vagina. For a moment, Alvin just looked at it. Then he reached down and ran his hand over her buttocks, making her giggle and squirm with delight, and finally he trailed his fingers down to her pussy and lightly touched the fleshy pink ring.
Brittany lifted her head suddenly, throwing her hair back over her shoulders, and gasped. Surprised and delighted, Alvin went on fingering the warm, wet preputial tissue while Brittany squealed and moaned and bucked her hips. It certainly seemed that he was doing the right thing, but just in case, Alvin slipped his fingers underneath her body and probed around for any more parts of her genitalia that might be of interest. He found no clitoris or labia minora to speak of, nor any other such thing of which he had heard distant rumours; Brittany, meanwhile, was still grinding her hot, slippery prepuce against the heel of his hand.
'Alvin!' she gasped. 'I want you inside me, now!'
On hearing this, Alvin quickly removed his hand, positioned himself between her outspread thighs and slid his cock inside her. Both of them cried out in ecstasy at the first contact, then they both moaned and squealed as Alvin thrust in and out of Brittany's hot, seeping vagina and she rubbed her fiery ring of flesh against his balls. Through it all, Alvin continually caressed Brittany's shoulders and upper arms, and sometimes she turned her head to kiss him on the lips, or he would kiss her on the cheek.
When he felt his balls tightening, almost ready to shed their load, Alvin swept aside Brittany's hair, kissed the nape of her neck and said, gasping, 'Oh God, I love you, Brittany.'
'I love you too, Alvin,' Brittany squealed, screwing up the pillowcase in tight little fists as she felt her own orgasm approaching. 'Ooh, Alvin... I think I'm gonna...'
It happened before she could finish her sentence. All at once, waves of the most intense pleasure were coursing through her, and she was aware of a pleasant fluttering in her lower abdomen. She screamed as the ring of flesh around her vagina pulsed and squeezed violently while Alvin's rigid shaft slid against it, and within seconds he too was crying out in ecstasy as ream after ream of cum burst from his cock and splashed onto Brittany's cervical cap.
When he had quite finished, and Brittany was breathing deeply beneath him with her head once again resting on her arms, Alvin eased his softening cock out of her pussy and flopped onto his back beside her. A moment later, Brittany propped herself up on her left elbow and looked down at him, gently caressing his face and neck with her right hand.
'Darling, that was absolutely unbelievable,' she said.
'Yeah,' Alvin agreed, smiling languidly up at her.
'I think I just ovulated,' said Brittany.
'Wow, you did?'
'Yeah. It was good.'
'Well,' said Alvin, laughing, 'they didn't teach us that in human development.'
Brittany laughed too. 'Yeah... no. It felt like it happened on both sides. I guess I released quite a few eggs, huh?'
'I guess so.' Alvin reached up and stroked her arm. 'I hope all the surprises were good ones.'
'I loved every second of it,' said Brittany. 'And I love you.'
'I love you too,' said Alvin.
She leaned down towards him and they kissed, then Brittany took the weight off her elbow to snuggle down beside him. Alvin lay dozing contentedly with his arms around her, while she held her forehead against his chest and went back over their lovemaking in her mind. At first she had a beatific smile on her face, but as she started to think about her orgasm and the surprises that had come with it, her brow became puckered and she said, 'Do you suppose I'll make more?'
'Huh?' said Alvin, startled from his doze. 'More what?'
'Eggs,' said Brittany. 'I mean... if that's going to happen every time... will I make more? Or do I have a finite number, like human women do?'
'I don't know,' said Alvin, feeling sleepy and thinking that it probably didn't matter very much. 'But let's not worry about it now, okay?'
'I guess,' said Brittany, still sounding worried, and suddenly Alvin woke up and realised that it did matter very much to her. He also realised that it might matter to him as well some day, but he didn't want to think too much about that yet.
'It makes sense that you'd produce more eggs, babe,' he said. 'I mean, it sounds as if your ovaries work like balls and I can tell you, my balls make way more sperm than I am ever going to need.'
'If I'd known, I'd have asked your mom about it.'
'Well, I'll ask her the next time I see her, but I don't think she'd know the answer. It's not something wild animals really think about, is it?'
'I guess not,' Brittany said despondently.
'But she might know,' Alvin went on hastily. 'Just by instinct, I mean. Y'know, it's instinct telling me that you're going to make all the eggs you'll need. Nature wouldn't let you just use them all up.'
'Nature doesn't expect me to use a diaphragm and spermicide, though,' said Brittany.
'Okay, no,' said Alvin, 'but it still makes sense to me. Of course, I can't be sure. Would you like me to ask Simon?'
'Simon?' said Brittany. 'I don't think he'd know, Alvin. He only knows what he can find out, and I doubt he's ever done a study on rodent ovulation.'
'Probably not,' said Alvin, 'but he does know the principle of things. I just bet he'd say I'm right about how it works, and he'd be able to explain why. I wish I could,' he added apologetically.
'Alvin,' said Brittany, 'if you started spouting stupid sciencey brainbox-type stuff, you wouldn't be you. You wouldn't be the man I love. And you're happy with who you are, aren't you?'
'Oh yes, very,' said Alvin. 'Except right now, I wish I could reassure you.'
'There's no need,' said Brittany, and kissed him. 'You're right: I mustn't worry about it now. Are you hungry? It must be at least lunchtime.'
'Yeah, I am hungry, now that you mention it.'
'Stay right there, darling. I'll bring us something to eat.'
She left the room, and came back ten minutes later – still completely naked – with a plateful of sandwiches and a glass of milk for each of them.
'What do you want to do after this?' Alvin asked as they ate. 'I didn't return The Cable Guy yet in case you wanted to watch it with me.'
'That's sweet of you,' said Brittany. 'I thought you'd want to have sex again.'
'Oh, I do!' Alvin said eagerly. 'But, y'know... that's not all I want to do with you, Brittany.'
Brittany smiled at him. 'Me neither.'
'Do you still want to sleep over? I mean, we've got all day.'
'Well... the others'll wonder about us if we don't go home tonight. But we can come back tomorrow, and have all day here again.'
'Ooh, I like the sound of that,' said Alvin, and Brittany squealed with laughter as he leaned over and kissed her neck.
'Alvin, you made me laugh milk through my nose!' she giggled.
'Sorry,' said Alvin. 'So... shall we watch The Cable Guy while our sandwiches and milk settle, and then come back to bed?'
'That sounds absolutely perfect,' said Brittany.
'How's it going to work?' asked Alvin. 'With the diaphragm, I mean. Do you need to do anything?'
'I have to leave it in for at least six hours after we have sex,' said Brittany. 'I guess I'll take it out when I'm getting ready for bed tonight, if we finish by about four.'
'Yikes,' said Alvin. 'A deadline.'
Brittany giggled. 'Well, it can stay in overnight if necessary. But after the movie, I will just have to smear a little more gel around the outside.'
Suddenly, Alvin looked pensive and said, 'You really have done all the work, haven't you?'
'What do you mean?' asked Brittany.
'Well,' said Alvin, 'you organised the birth control and found out all about it, and then you got this place ready for us, and I even just lay there while you made me sandwiches! And now your bed is all full of crumbs and milk and bodily fluids. I think I'd better get here first tomorrow and clean up.'
'You mean leave the bed like this?' Brittany asked doubtfully.
'We could just strip the sheets and put them in the machine,' said Alvin. 'Then tomorrow I'll get here early, start the wash, put on fresh linen and just, y'know, make the place nice. And I'll make lunch.'
'I didn't make very much,' said Brittany. 'Just sandwiches and milk.'
'I love sandwiches and milk,' said Alvin. 'And tomorrow we'll have... well, I'll go shopping on the way home. I'll buy us something nice to eat, and I'll see if I can get some more spermicide.'
'All right,' said Brittany. 'That sounds wonderful, Alvin. I'll give you my key,' and she got off the bed to go to the bathroom, where she had left all of her stuff.
'Cool,' said Alvin, jumping up and starting to put on his clothes. 'I'll set up the video.'
Alvin went a little mad on his shopping trip, and the next day he let himself into the treehouse with several bags of expensive food, a selection of romantic CDs and two dozen red roses. He dumped these in the middle of the main living area and then, remembering his promise, went to the kitchen to turn on the washing machine with the soiled sheets in it. He then stuffed various luxury food items such as salmon mousse, organic strawberries and Belgian chocolate truffles into the fridge before going back down to the bedroom with a set of clean bedlinen and half his roses.
Ten minutes later, Brittany's freshly made bed and some other key areas of the house were festooned with the petals of a dozen red roses while the other dozen, intact and together with their stalks still wrapped in paper, waited upstairs on a side table to be presented to their delighted recipient. Alvin set up several candles in the bedroom, which he left unlit, and then several more in the living room, which he lit straight away. Finally, he put one of his romantic CDs into the CD player, and 'Everything I Do I Do It For You' started wafting through the treehouse.
When he heard someone ascending the ladder and then walking through the bedroom, Alvin smiled to himself, turned and scooped up the bunch of roses in one fluid motion, and found that he was presenting his bouquet to Simon.
Both of them screamed dramatically in their surprise. Alvin threw his roses into the air, scattering them all over the room, while Simon's fingers closed tightly around the object that he was holding: a large cuboid covered over with a square of satiny blue material.
'What are you doing here?' Simon asked irritably, depositing his item on the very same side table from with Alvin had just retrieved his roses.
'What does it look like I'm doing?' Alvin returned, even more irritably, as he scrabbled on the floor trying to reassemble his bouquet. This was not easy, as the roses were very thorny without their paper covering, which made Alvin all the more annoyed.
'I suppose it looks like you're trying to create a romantic atmosphere,' said Simon.
'Right.' As he crawled past the CD player, Alvin rose onto his knees and cut Brian Adams off with the push of a button. 'And I was doing just fine until you came along!'
'Really?' Simon looked dubiously around at the scattered rose petals, the burning candles and the recently silenced CD player. 'Are you going to do it like that?'
Alvin, getting slowly to his feet with a dishevelled bunch of roses in his arms, about half of them upside-down, scowled deeply at Simon.
'I'm sorry, Alvin,' said Simon. 'I'm sure Brittany will appreciate it.'
'You bet your ass she will, Simon,' said Alvin. 'Jesus, I thought you were her!'
'A most unfortunate set of circumstances,' said Simon. 'I thought you were Jeanette.'
'Jeanette?' All at once, Alvin forgot his bad temper in his surprise. 'You thought I was Jeanette?'
'Well, why else would I have come here?'
'You thought Jeanette covered the bedroom with candles and rose petals?'
'I... was a little surprised by that, but...'
'So this is, like, a date or something?'
'Yes, Alvin, that's exactly what it is,' said Simon, frowning when he realised the full extent of Alvin's amazement. 'Why? Does it really surprise you to learn that Jeanette and I are officially an item?'
'No, no, of course not,' Alvin said hastily. 'We all knew it would happen some time. It's just that... well, it's hard to imagine how you got there.'
'Oh, really?' said Simon. 'Well, fortunately that's between me and Jeanette; it isn't for you to imagine. Suffice it to say that the old clichés don't work for everyone.'
'Well, we all can't be as original as you, Simon,' said Alvin, his eye falling upon the covered cuboid on the table. 'I would've never thought of trying to impress a girl with a... a diorama.'
Simon looked at him sharply. 'Mom didn't tell you what I was making, did she?'
'Of course not,' said Alvin. 'We all smelled the balsa wood and Elmer's glue, Simon. Why did you show it to Mom, anyway?'
'Oh, I don't know,' said Simon. 'I just wanted someone else's opinion, I guess. Someone who can keep a secret.'
'What is it?'
'I'm not telling you.'
'Why?'
'I made it for Jeanette.'
'Fair enough,' said Alvin as, beneath them, the door clicked open again. 'Now, which one is that?'
'It should be Jeanette,' said Simon. 'She was supposed to get here first and unlock the door.'
'I guess she forgot,' said Alvin.
Simon scowled at him.
'I'm sorry, Simon, but you know she's forgetful,' said Alvin. A moment later, his ears caught the tread of the person walking through the bedroom below, and he went on, 'I think that's Brittany. I'd better go warn her you're here.'
He went down to the bedroom, scooping up the crumpled paper to re-wrap his roses on the way, and was just in time to intercept Brittany at the bottom of the stairs. She smiled at him, and he thrust the roses at her, saying, 'Here, flowers.'
'Oh... thank you, Alvin,' said Brittany, both touched and puzzled by the messy bouquet.
'I'm sorry,' said Alvin, as she took the flowers. 'They got kinda messed up. Simon's here.'
At once, Brittany's smile dissolved into a scowl. 'What?'
'He's meeting Jeanette,' said Alvin. 'And y'know, this is her place too, so...'
As he was speaking, the door beneath them opened and closed once again, then Jeanette could be heard calling as she climbed the ladder, 'Simon? I'm so sorry! My watch stopped! Oh!' she said, stopping abruptly as her head appeared through the hole in the floor. 'Um... hi!'
Brittany turned round and looked at her, still scowling, while Alvin said, 'Hi, Jeanette. Looks like this place got double-booked, huh?'
'Yeah...' said Jeanette, still staring at them in bewilderment.
'Simon's upstairs,' Alvin added.
'Oh!' said Jeanette, as though only just remembering why she was there. She climbed the rest of the way into the room, then made her way to the stairs, saying, 'Thanks, Alvin. Um... sorry, Brittany.'
At Jeanette's cowed and guilty tone, Brittany looked a tad guilty herself and said to Alvin, 'She didn't tell me!'
'And you didn't tell her either, right?' said Alvin.
Brittany sighed heavily. 'No, I didn't.'
'I know how you feel, babe,' Alvin said consolingly. 'I just went through the exact same thing when Simon showed up. But now they're up there and we're down here, so...'
'Alvin!' Brittany giggled, dropping the roses as he snaked his arms around her waist.
'Brittany,' he purred.
'Do you really want to do this with Simon and Jeanette upstairs?'
'Simon and I don't have any secrets.'
'But you and Jeanette do.'
'Yeah... and you and Simon do too, I guess. Don't you want to, then?'
'Actually, I do,' said Brittany, giggling and grabbing onto Alvin's arms as she felt their grip begin to loosen. 'I mean, if you don't mind, I don't mind.'
'Absolutely not!' said Alvin, his whole face lighting up.
'Okay, well,' said Brittany, 'I just need to go to the bathroom first. You know,' and she fished her cervical cap out of her skirt pocket.
'Oh, right,' said Alvin, loosening his grip on her once again. 'I did get some more gel, by the way, but I guess I left it with the groceries. Upstairs,' he added, with a slight scowl.
'That's okay,' said Brittany. 'There's still plenty of the first load to be getting on with. You go and get ready for me, baby – I'll be right back,' and she gave him a peck on the lips before slinking off to the bathroom.
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