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Foiled! Curses again?	By : I_write_badfic_not_tragedies Category: +S through Z > TaleSpin Views: 2508 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Talespin or any other Disney fandom. I make no money off of this fic. Please don't sue me.

Chapter List
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Well, that was an utter and complete waste of my valuable time, Karnage thought as he made the long flight home.
“Boss, you’re back!” the crew shouted eagerly when he finally landed back at the island.
“Did you doubt me?” Karnage asked, eyes narrowed.
“Er... uh... no... we just... um.... worried about you,” Dumptruck stammered.
“You’ve never been that worried about me before,” he returned in the tone of a low growl, looking them square in the eyes. The pirates all tried to avert their gazes.
“Of course, we worry about you! You’re our fearless captain. We would be lost without you, and-”
Karnage reached out with one hand and clamped MD’s muzzle shut before he could say anything further. “I am not in the mood right now.” That utterly chilled the rest of the crew. Karnage NOT being in the mood to hear about how great he was, was not a normal state of existence for the pirates.
“I am going down to the hot water place. ALONE. Anyone who follows will be strung up by their little toes, understood?”
They all stood at attention and saluted. “Aye, aye, captain!”
After he was out of sight, they turned to one another. “Did… did the boss look a little different to you?” Dumptruck finally asked.
Underneath the volcano, there was several pools that were heated by thermal vents to an acceptable temperature. Karnage wasn’t sure he would be able to stand being around his crew if they *didn’t* have access to a regular bathing opportunity. He left his clothes in an unorderly pile on top of a rock, dropping this sword next to the water’s edge just in case. Things sometimes managed to get inside the base.
Once in the water, he dug his fingers into it the necklace in anger and tried pulling at it as hard as they could. “Come... oooooff...” he grunted. The necklace did not budge. He sighed in defeat and slumped over. At least the hot water would relieve the aches in his muscles and the pounding in his head. For some time, Karnage just floated on his back, staring up at the mineral water dripping off the cave stalactites. At least his muscles and head had started to feel better. It was so relaxing that he started feeling tired. Unwisely for where he was at the moment, he started to drift off to sleep.
He was jolted back awake when he brain started screaming ‘Hey stupid, wake up before you drown’. He popped back up from under the water, coughing violently and spitting. There was some miscreant seaweed on his head, covering his eyes. He clawed at it in annoyance and just ended up getting more stinging saltwater into his eyes. Trying to get his balance to stand back up he slipped on a rock and dunked himself again.
He must have been shouting, as there were suddenly several loud knocks at the door. “Sir! Sir, are you okay?” he could now Mad Dog shouting.
“Everything is absolutely fine, okey-dokey!” he shouted back, continuing to cough up large amounts of disgusting, slimy water. “Just… just… one minute please…”
Outside the door, the other pirates looked at one another in concern. “The captain never says please. Something has definitely happened!” Driven by worry, Mad Dog and Dumptruck prepared themselves to use their shoulders to break down the door. They were not considering two things. First, the door itself to the pool area was a flimsy half-assembled job barely clinging to its hinges. Second, it… didn’t actually lock. So, when they both put their full weight onto ramming it, the door immediately snapped and sent them both rolling down the embankment towards the pool, where their soaked boss was trying to pull himself out of the water. The three collided with one another and went rolling back into the water with a massive splash.
After the flailing stopped, Mad Dog sat up while rubbing his head. “It’s okay, I landed on something soft!”
“You landed on the boss,” Dumptruck pointed out.
“Oh holy- I’m sorry boss!” he cried, pulling Karnage backwards out of the water. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. Please don’t-“
He stopped in mid-sentence, his jaw dropping to his chest. Dumptruck’s had dropped all the way to his knees. They both had gone as white as ghosts.
It took Karnage a moment to realize they were both staring directly at his chest, and he assumed they were looking at the emerald. When he looked down, he realized what he had initially thought was seaweed was long, wet ebony-black hair. It was hanging all the way down to just below the prominent soft, round breasts that were now present on his chest. Only the wet hair lying in exactly the right places kept any sense of decency. The next sound he made was a growling that sounded like someone had let the blackest hounds of hell out for a day.
“EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF, CURSED CAPTAIN ON THE RAMPAGE!” Dumptruck screamed as he tore past the other pirates, running so fast that his heels were literally smoking. If he had been even a second later, the sword that ended up buried in the wall would have ended up buried in his head. The others looked back and, when they realized that their boss had about ten daggers clenched between his… her… their? hands now, they also took off screaming.
“I WILL KILL YOU ALL!” Karnage roared, although it came out more like “I will keel you all” through his accent.
The pirates ran like hell, but a hastily redressed Karnage with eyes that were practically glowing with devil’s light was on their heels in a moment flat. “Why is he so fast? Was he always this fast?” Sadie panted as he tried to keep up with the other fleeing pirates.
“Terribly sorry, friend, but you know what they say,” Jock said in response. “You don’t have to be the fastest pirate. You just can’t be the slowest!” With that, he put on an extra burst of speed to get himself out of there.
“Jooooock, noooooo!” he cried, his arm outstretched in desperation as Jock’s short legs took him away surprisingly fast. He felt a heavy hand land on his shoulder. “Is it too late to decide to go to law school like mama wanted instead of being a pirate?!” he sobbed as he was dragged backwards and out of the frame.
Dumptruck and Mad Dog, meanwhile, had both tried to hide in the same locker in their panic. Each was holding their hand over the other one’s mouth, trying to muffle their breathless pants so their boss wouldn’t hear them.
“Oh, eeeeeveryone, come out, come out, olly olly the oxen are free,” Karnage sang in a sing-song voice. The fact that it was now a very feminine voice made it somehow ten times more terrifying. “You cannot run but you can hiiiiiiide.” Dumptruck gulped a little bit too hard, and their enraged captain’s ears perked up. “Let us see what is in here,” he announced loudly, throwing open the first locker in the row with a clang. By that time, the two pirates were sweating bullets.
“How about… HERE?!” was shouted as they heard the second locker being thrown open.
“No? How about here?” The third locker was flung open, then the fourth. Karnage paused directly in front of the locker they were hiding in. “I guess they are not here.”
Right as they were both to breath a sign of relief, when the locker door was ripped open. “DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD SAY THAT?!” They both screamed and grabbed onto each other in terror.
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Foiled! Curses again?