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What Happened Last Night?	By : TheHorneyScorpio Category: +S through Z > South Park > AU/AR - Alternate Universe/Alternate Reality Views: 3377 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to South Park and i make no profit in the making of this fanfiction

Chapter List
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After a few more minutes of enduring his hangover and digesting all of what he was experiencing right now, Stan made his best efforts to crawl off his bed in the center, making sure to keep Kyle and Wendy asleep, Stan needed something to drink, and maybe an aspirin, or a whole bottle of aspirin to deal with this new revelation. As he crawled out of bed, he looked around to find his clothes but it was hard to do so with Wendy and Kyles clothes on the floor as well.
After finding his clothes and putting them on, Stan made some….interesting things lying around his room. For one, Stan found a used condom with someone’s spunk still in it. Whether it was his or Kyles…….Stan decided not to touch it, that would be really gay to do if it was Kyles…..which would honestly be the least of Stans problems if it was Kyles.
Stan also found a few plastic cups around the room, along with a beer can. The plastic cups had different drops of different colored drinks in them and they smelled different from one another. Whatever happened last night, it wasn’t just a few drinks that caused this, it was practically a whole bars worth of different drinks of alcohol in Stans room, which would explain the hangover and the blackout.
Did….I drink all this? Why would I have so many cups here if I did?
Thinking this long was sort of letting Stan forget about his hangover, but the painful bursts of pain were getting annoying to deal with, so he stopped his thought process to head for the bathroom.
Stan crossed the hall and without staying in the hall for too long, Stan could definitely see a few more plastic cups on the ground. This really was a big party.
Moving into the bathroom he flicks on the light and adjust to the bright lighting as he fumbled like a blind animal to the cabinet for the aspirin. He grabbed a bottle of what he thought were pain killers and put them near the sink. He turns the faucet on and cups some water in his hands, the cold water felt really nice right now. He cups a handful and slurps it up, helping to bring instant relief to his dry throat. He reaches for the bottle and twists the cap but finds fish oil pills pour into his hand.

What the Fuck?

After looking more closely and getting use to the electric lighting, he notices the bottle with a label he couldn’t even pronounce right now.

Acettelcynazili…..nana…..ilzy oh fuck it

Giving up halfway, he shoves the pills back in the bottle and places em back in the cabinet reaching for the bottle right next to where he put the other bottle.
Stan made sure the bottle was aspirin this time and took two pills into his mouth and drank them with stale sink water.
After swallowing the pills he finally got to look at his reflection in the mirror and saw his worse possible “I just woke up” look he ever saw himself make in his life. His hair was all over the place with bed head and his eyes had noticeable red veins popping out in his eyeballs. He had bags under his eyes which only added to the ensemble and he couldn’t tell for sure, but was sure he reeked of booze if anyone were to come within 2 feet of him.
Gotta dunk my head in the shower to not smell bad
He reaches for the shower curtain and pulls them out and was almost close to turning on the water until he noticed something was off……..specifically…..someone was sleeping in the tub…….Kenny was sleeping in the tub…..
Looking at Kenny fast asleep with his clothes still on he noticed he was sleeping with a pillow. Stan fought the urge to turn the water on and blast Kenny with cold water but decided against it, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with a pissed off Kenny in this state.
“Kenny, hey, wake up”
He tried to nudged the blond awake by shaking his shoulder, Kenny eventually being woken up by his efforts.
“Ugh, Hey Stan, some party last night eh?”
“Uh yeah, I guess it was……..um….why are you sleeping in the tub?”
“Ah well you know, all the beds were taken except Shelly’s and the couch was in use last night so this was best place to escape the noise and all that”
“Why didn’t you take Shelly’s room?”
“Stan, I may not have the best grades in class, but im at least smart enough not to sleep in your sisters room”
“Smart move”
“Thanks, I think so too”
Stan reaches his hand out and Kenny accepts it being pulled up from the tub and leaving the pillow behind. Kenny leaves the hallway and tries to do some stretches no doubt from being cramped and stiffened in the tub all night.
As he stretched Kenny asked:
“ugh, man im hungry now, mind if I go down and make some breakfast?”
“Only if you make enough for me too”
“Its your house man, you make the rules, but you're getting scrambled eggs and toast only, im not a 5 star hotel chef at an all-you-can-eat-buffet”
“At this point ill accept anything”
“I guess you got pretty wasted last night then?”
“…..you don’t know the half of it……what about you, how wasted did you get?”
“Oh Stan, you know how much I like to drink on my off time, this was light weight training in comparison”
“You’re tougher then me then Kenny”
“Not as tough as our Captain of the football team who scored the winning touchdown!”
Kenny poked Stan with his elbow in a playful manner as Stan chuckled him off and pushed him away in a joking way.
After a few laughs Kenny pulled Stan back into the conversation.
“So did everyone else leave already or am I cooking for the whole team? Cuz were gonna need a lot more eggs if that’s the case”
Stan had completely forgotten that there might still be people in his house right now who might have gotten as shit faced as he did, maybe someone could help him figure out what happened where his memory is failing him right now. Anything to give him an excuse not the think about the worst case scenario of what happened with him, Kyle or Wendy.
“Ugh, no, I just woke up and I found you first”
“Oh, well I guess ill make more food then”
“Thanks Kenny, ill try to wake everyone up”
“Cool”
Kenny began to make his way out the hall until Stan had to ask him an important question
“Oh wait Kenny…..do you….remember anything that happened last night?”
“Wow, you really did get wasted huh?”
Stan shrugged and tried to shy away from looking at Kenny, the blond placed a finger on his head and thought for a brief moment before he snapped his finger
“Oh yeah! I remember making out with Red, I remember dancing with Token, I remember Bebe giving me some good head, I remember daring Craig to kiss Tweek I remember almost getting to feel up Wendy, I remember Butters letting me-“
“You felt up Wendy!?”
“Nooooooo, I said ALMOST getting to feel her up, she really wanted me to do it too until you stopped her and dragged her upstairs, you both were drinking pretty heavily at that point”
“Do you remember anything of what me or Wendy said?”
“…..I think she said something like ‘I want you to fuck me so hard right now’ and ‘I want you to do it rough to me’ and you were all like ‘I can fuck you like a man Wendy, don’t leave me’ so something like that, I don’t know specifically the music was pretty loud”
If what Kenny was saying was true, then this was starting to feel like a personal attack on him by Wendy, why would Wendy say that to Kenny and be so slutty, that wasn’t like her at all.
“And….what about Kyle?”
“Ugh, I think you guys had some sort of disagreement or something, you two looked a bit off for what you were talking about, I don’t know you guys were too far away to know”
Kyle and me fought last night? What!? Was Kenny making this up to just fuck around with me? I remember drinking with Kyle and Kenny’s saying we fought? And he’s in my bed after we fought?
What the fuck happened last night?
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What Happened Last Night?