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Grow, Adapt, Overcome.	By : DebbieCync Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 53045 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 5
Disclaimer: I do not own the Loud House or any associated intellectual properties nor am I making any money off of this.

Chapter List
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Lisa sighed as she saw the petri dish she’d been studying last night in the sterilizer. It’d been a risky study so the petri dish hadn’t contained just a sample of what she’d been working on, it had contained the whole thing.
“I guess my studies into alternate forms of evolution just aren’t to be,” she said. “Oh well, let’s see what progress we can make in the field of AIs.”
Lisa laughed maniacally and cracked her fingers before taking a seat at her desk and booting up her old outdated computer. If she’d had access to more resources, she’d be able to afford better tools, but she took a perverse pride in working with substandard tools and producing extraordinary results.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
“Hey Clyde,” Lincoln greeted his best friend as he skidded to a halt in front of his house.
“Hey Lincoln,” Clyde answered back as he hopped on his own bike. “We’ve got until lunch, then my Dads are taking me to Chicago for the weekend.”
“If you get a chance you should stop by and see Ronnie Anne,” Lincoln suggested.
“Are you sure?” Clyde asked a bit nervously.
“Yeah,” Lincoln reassured him. “Why? What’s wrong?”
Clyde winced. “Remember when you showed me that picture she sent you of when her older cousin made her wear that two piece at the pool?”
“The one she made me swear to show no one and I told her the only people I share the pics on my phone with are you and my sisters?” Lincoln replied, wondering why he was so nervous.
“Yeah… I kinda had a dream… and needed new sheets afterwards,” Clyde admitted.
“I’m jellin’,” Lincoln admitted after half a minute of silence.
“Sorry Bro,” Clyde said, “but even if it is a violation of the Bro-code, I have… a thing for Ronnie Anne.”
Lincoln waved a hand in the air. “No, that’s not what I’m Jellin’ about. I have no problem with you liking Ronnie Anne. Me and her were only kinda-sorta at best so the Bro-code is intact. No, I’m jealous you got a wet dream before I did.”
“That’s a relie- Wait!” Clyde said, looking surprised. “You haven’t had any wet dreams?”
“Not yet,” Lincoln said.
“You know, if you jack it too much you won’t have wet dreams,” Clyde said. “I read that in one of the ‘Your Body and You’ books Dr. Lopez gave me.”
“How much is too much?” Lincoln asked.
“Over three times a day,” Clyde said. “Well, according to the chart Dr. Lopez helped me come up with.”
“Definitely not that then,” Lincoln said with a sigh. “If puberty doesn’t get here soon I’m going to have to talk to Lisa.”
“Didn’t we already agree that would be a super bad idea and should be held off until you hit fourteen?” Clyde asked.
“Yes we did and yes it is,” Lincoln agreed, “I’m just feeling impatient and don’t want to get left behind.”
“Considering your parents… I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” Clyde assured him.
“But what if my white hair is a sign of a genetic abnormality that prevents me from developing normally!?” Lincoln threw up his hands.
“Then Lisa would have told you about it years ago,” Clyde replied.
Lincoln paused and tilted his head to the side, “Yeah, you’re right. I’m worrying for nothing.”
“Now… back to the Ronnie Anne matter…” Clyde said. “Are you sure?”
“Not only were we only kinda-sorta, I’d actually feel more jealous of you crushin’ on Lynn,” Lincoln said.
“That’s a relief,” Clyde said. “So, what have we got planned?”
“The dump, wrecking yard, or that medical place that closed down a year ago and that high school kids have been making a mess of,” Lincoln listed off.
“I’ll take places to get murdered at by serial killers for five hundred,” Clyde joked.
“I’m scavenging for supplies,” Lincoln explained.
“Stuff you can sell or do you want to build something?” Clyde asked eagerly as they started pedaling off.
“Depends on what we find,” Lincoln replied with a shrug. “It’s just general scavenging for the moment.”
“Cool!” Clyde said, deciding to save his breath to try and keep up with Lincoln who was slowly pulling ahead.
Five Minutes Later…
*PUFF*PUFF*PUFF*
“You ok?” Lincoln asked, not in the least winded.
“Dude,” Clyde said before slowing to a stop, sweat dripping down his face.
Lincoln quickly opened his canteen and passed it to Clyde who drank it like he was dying of thirst.
“Dude,” Clyde said with a nod, taking slow deep breaths for a minute until he got his breathing under control, “how are you not out of breath?”
“Why would I be?” Lincoln asked cluelessly.
“How about the fact that we just biked clear across town at top speed?” Clyde pointed out.
“Really?” Lincoln said, glancing at his watch. “Wow!”
“You get to pull me uphill,” Clyde said as he gestured to the steep hill they were going to have to bike up to reach the abandoned hospital.
“Ok,” Lincoln agreed. “Grab my handlebar.”
“Sure, but go slow,” Clyde said.
Lincoln nodded, and Clyde moved his bike next to Lincoln’s and grabbed Lincoln’s right handle grip, steering his own bike with his left hand. The long and winding road that encircled the hill was half overgrown with ivy, completely covering the pavement in parts, but Lincoln didn’t even seem to notice as they sped through some rough patches, forcing himself to slow down at times when Clyde made worried noises.
“And you’re still not out of breath,” Clyde said, as they reached the hospital parking lot, “Lynn has been working you like a dog, hasn’t she?”
“I’m pretty sure Lynn’s workouts would kill a dog,” Lincoln said. “But yeah, she’s been a lot more intense lately.”
“I’m jealous,” Clyde said, looking at Lincoln over the top of his glasses. “Looks like I’m going to have to work out just to keep from getting left in the dust every time we go somewhere.”
“Want to get Lynn to set you up a workout routine?” Lincoln asked.
“No, I want to live,” Clyde replied. “Ask Lisa, if she can spare a moment sometime to write me one.”
“I can do that,” Lincoln agreed, dismounting his bike.
The five story building’s first floor was covered in graffiti and serious attempts had been made to break out all the glass, but the glass acrylic polycarbonate had resisted so far, covered in spider webs of cracks but mainly intact.
“Why do high school kids do stuff like this?” Clyde asked, shaking his head at the senseless destruction.
“It’s not all of them,” Lincoln assured him, “just a quarter of them according to Lisa, but a quarter is enough.”
“More than enough,” Clyde agreed as they approached the building. “How you planning on getting in?”
“Well, I figure if we can’t get in through the ground floor, we try a little higher up,” Lincoln replied.
“Those windows are in better shape,” Clyde pointed out. “Though I am impressed that they managed to crack them all as well, I mean its five stories up!”
“Football team,” Lincoln said. “Luna and some friends were practicing here because it has the same acoustics as an open air stage, but they didn’t have to worry about noise complaints, when a bunch of jocks showed up and got drunk and challenged the quarterback and his understudy to break all the windows.”
“We should put a chain across the road and hang a no trespassing sign on it,” Clyde said. “It’ll keep them from driving up here and they’re all too lazy to walk.”
“Kinda late to do that now,” Lincoln said, gesturing towards the damaged building.
“It’s only external damage,” Clyde said, “the interior is probably mostly intact and would make an excellent clubhouse.”
“I think the police might dispute that fact,” Lincoln pointed out, “and while I don’t mind picking through the trash and abandoned equipment, I think trying to steal an entire building is a bit much.”
“Actually there are a couple of… semi-legal ways to handle it,” Clyde assured him.
“Semi-legal?” Lincoln asked.
“Yeah,” Clyde agreed. “See, if you occupy an empty or abandoned property long enough, you can gain property rights over it, it’s called squatting.”
“Then why do we have so many empty properties and homeless people?” Lincoln asked.
“The people with the money make the laws and they don’t want anyone to get to play with their cast off toys,” Clyde explained, “so they’ve made things a lot more complicated. That’s why I said quasi-legal. See, you have to not get caught breaking the law for a long period of time to squat a property now.”
“So what’s the plan?”Lincoln asked, as they slowly walked around the building.
“Simple, we post official looking No Trespassing signs to prevent people from coming up here and doing any more damage and we make it physically impossible for official vehicles to check on the place as well. A couple of years go by and we buy the place for back taxes, claiming we were squatting the property and they can’t prove otherwise.”
“How long have you been planning this?” Lincoln asked, surprised at the well thought out plan.
“I haven’t,” Clyde replied, “I’m just repeating a plan other people have used before.”
“Oh, well I like it,” Lincoln said. “Now let’s find a way inside and see if it’s worth it.”
“I’ve poked around before, but I never found a way in,” Clyde replied. “Some of the older teens even tried using sledge hammers to get through the glass doors, but nada.”
“Did anyone try shimmying up the drain pipe to the roof, off the smaller section over there?” Lincoln asked with a grin.
“Craig Johnson,” Clyde replied. “Luckily he was only ten feet up when the drainpipe broke and his friends caught him.”
“Isn’t he like six feet tall and weighs over two hundred pounds?” Lincoln asked.
“Yeah, why?” Clyde asked, before realizing what Lincoln was implying. “Oh, good point.”
“And there is an intact drain pipe,” Lincoln said, leaning his bike against an abandoned minivan that was parked in a handicapped space.
Clyde leaned his bike against Lincoln’s and followed him to the overgrown bushes that surrounded the building. “Well, at least the bushes can break your fall.”
“I’ve fallen out of my own bedroom window into the bushes enough to get skilled at it, I’ll be fine,” Lincoln said as he examined the drain pipe. “Galvanized steel, not strong enough to hold an adult, but enough to hold me, I hope.”
“Slow and steady,” Clyde ordered as Lincoln cautiously placed his weight on the drainpipe before smoothly moving upwards, much to his shock.
The drainpipe creaked a few times but held firm as Lincoln quickly scampered up it like a lizard, reaching the roof in under thirty seconds.
“I made it!” Lincoln yelled down to Clyde.
Clyde took out his cell phone and called Lincoln.
*ring*ring*
“Hello?” Lincoln said. “Oh, yeah. Forgot I had my phone on me.”
“You haven’t been bitten by any radioactive insects lately, have you?” Clyde asked, not quite joking.
“No, why?” Lincoln asked.
“I don’t know… Maybe cause you totally just Spiderman’ed that drain pipe!” Clyde exclaimed excitedly.
“I… I suppose I did,” Lincoln said. “Well, Dad warned me puberty hits like a race car.”
“I would argue… but eleven kids and still annoying everyone at night by getting loud,” Clyde said, shaking his head even though Lincoln couldn’t see it. “I’ll have to concede the possibility.”
“Lisa will check if I tell her I’m worried about it,” Lincoln replied as he looked around the roof and checked the door into the building, finding it locked.
“Might as well,” Clyde said. “See any way in?”
“No… Yeah, there’s a courtyard down there and someone left a door open,” Lincoln said excitedly.
“Any drain pipes?” Clyde asked.
“Yeah,” Lincoln agreed, “and not thin galvanized ones, these are solid pipes.”
“Be careful,” Clyde ordered nervously. “If you fall in there, I can’t help you!”
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
Lisa raised an eyebrow as she listened in on Lincoln’s call.
She triangulated his position for signal strength via several cell phone towers and compared it to his phones GPS before accessing its cameras.
Her heart almost stopped as Lincoln’s co-ordinates shifted at near freefall speeds from over thirty feet in the air to ground level, but Lincoln took his phone out not a second later and was talking to Clyde once more.
She resolved to give Lincoln a full physical later to insure he was alright.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
“The cafeteria is almost untouched… and the power’s on?” Lincoln questioned, finding the empty glass front food cases were still lit up and cold.
“We’ll come back to that later,” Clyde said. “Find me a way in that doesn’t require climbing a drain pipe.”
“Will do,” Lincoln promised as he entered the halls of the abandoned hospital, heading for one of the side doors since he knew the sliding glass entrance doors were warped shut by people’s attempts to break in.
“They broke all external lights, including all the ones in the parking lot, so I guess it’s no surprise we thought the power was off,” Clyde said thoughtfully. “I bet they left the utilities on because it was a hospital. I don’t know if they even charge hospitals for utilities but I guarantee they don’t shut them off if the bill is overdue, too many legal problems when you have people on life support.”
“Found a door,” Lincoln said.
Clyde winced at the high pitched screech before looking around and spotting the door Lincoln had forced open halfway down the building.
“I see it, be right there,” Clyde said before hanging up his phone and hurrying to the open door, eager to see what was inside.
An hour of exploration later…
“Ok, so what’s the pattern?” Lincoln asked. “I’d say it was that they took all the really expensive equipment, but there’s still some stuff here that is pretty valuable and why did they only take the furniture out of some of the waiting rooms and not others?”
“Unless we know what was taken, we can’t figure out why some of it was left behind,” Clyde replied, “but I can tell you why they cleared some rooms of furniture and not others.”
“Really?” Lincoln asked.
“Yeah,” Clyde said, “those rooms all had brand new paint jobs, so they probably had brand new furniture.”
“If it was new enough, they might have been able to return it,” Lincoln said.
“Or they were using everything to open a new clinic elsewhere and took what was needed for it,” Clyde said. “If I was opening a new place I’d only grab the newest furniture.”
“The newest equipment and the things needed for the new clinic,” Lincoln said thoughtfully as they entered the elevator and he hit the fifth floor. “It would explain a lot.”
“So what do you think about claiming it?” Clyde asked.
“Think we can get away with it?” Lincoln asked.
“It’s been a full year and most of the local high school kids have stopped coming up here,” Clyde said. “Mostly because the road is getting a little hard to get a car through without scraping up the paint. We’d be fools not to try it!”
“Alright,” Lincoln said as they stepped out onto the fifth floor, “let’s steal us a hospital.”
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
Lisa made sure she had everything ready for when Lincoln returned. She doubted she could get a full physical done without someone interfering, as was usual, but she could get basic stats, blood, and urine without too much trouble.
“Shall we play a game?” the computer in front of her asked.
“Play Civilization,” she ordered it, while waiting for Lincoln to return.
She lost herself in her work, designing a chemical compound to repair car windshields and a plant growth accelerator before Lincoln finally returned.
“Hey, Lis-“ he began.
“Here, prick your finger with this and fill this,” Lisa ordered, passing him a lancet and a small plastic cup, “I’ll have your results ready by breakfast.”
“Thanks Lisa,” he said, giving her a quick hug, which she squirmed a little in, but made no real effort to escape. “I’ll get it back to you as soon as possible.”
“Shouldn’t take that long, just drink plenty of fluids,” the littlest genius suggested, figuring Lincoln had used the bathroom recently.
“Worth a shot,” Lincoln agreed as he left.
Lisa wasn’t surprised that it took him a half hour to fill it and get back to her.
“Here ya go,” Lincoln said, looking wrung out. “See you in the morning.”
“But it’s only six,” Lisa noted as her white haired brother departed.
She stuck the lancet in the blood analyzer and checked the specimen cup Lincoln had given her to check his urine. “That’s strange,” she muttered as she examined it, “this doesn’t look like urine.”
Popping the top off the specimen container she briefly wondered if Clyde had been correct as it did look like what she imagined web fluid would look like though it smelled a little like vanilla, before she realized it was semen. She stared at the container in disbelief as she tried to calculate the average number of ejaculations it would take to fill the specimen container the way Lincoln had… and all in the space of a half hour!
“No wonder he was tired,” Lisa said, deciding she would have to observe the specimen extraction first hand to get accurate data on Lincoln’s average volume of ejaculate.
She quickly marked down a series of notes on its smell, viscosity, and taste while absently sipping the container, completely unaware of her actions.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
“Crashing already?” Lynn asked Lincoln, seeing he had changed into his pajamas and was heading for his room.
“Yeah, it’s been a tiring day,” Lincoln said drowsily.
“I’ll join you in a minute,” Lynn told him, “if you don’t mind.”
“Still arguing with Lucy?” he asked.
“Definitely,” Lynn said.
“No we’re not,” Lucy said, surprising them both.
“See?” Lynn said, shaking her head. “She even argues with me about arguing.” Lynn guided him into his room. “I’ll be right in.”
Lucy frowned as she realized what Lynn was doing, she was hogging Lincoln!
Lately it seemed like Lynn blocked her at every turn when she tried to spend time with Lincoln. “You slept with Lincoln the night before last,” she complained.
“Yeah,” Lynn agreed cheerfully, “so you totally could have crashed with him last night.”
Lucy found herself with no defense against Lynn’s rebuttal. She could have slept with Lincoln last night, but hadn’t because they hadn’t gotten into an argument. She tilted her head and found herself nodding along with Lynn’s logic for once. “As long as it’s not two nights in a row, I can’t complain that you’re hogging him.”
Lynn just nodded, ready to use any excuse she could think of to get Lucy off her back so she could snuggle with Lincoln. She quickly kicked off everything but her baseball shirt and panties, tossing them in their room before entering Lincoln’s tiny room and firmly closing the door behind her, clicking the lock shut and sliding into bed next to her already unconscious sibling.
Lincoln turned in his sleep, throwing an arm around Lynn and pulling her close. Lynn sighed in contentment, happy to be the little spoon for once and wondering what cologne Lincoln had started wearing.
TN: “Shall we play a game?” the computer in front of her asked.
“Play Civilization,” she ordered it while waiting for Lincoln to return.
Me: *laughs* Oh man, that is clever! Nice Wargames reference!
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Grow, Adapt, Overcome.