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A Woman After My Own Heart	By : AberrantScript Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 3876 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House and make no money off this work of fiction.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Author's Notes:
So, while this story will feature dark themes in it, I don't want anyone worrying needlessly. There won't be any suicide attempts in this story. Sadly, I can't promise about anything else... But, hey, I hope you stop by and read upcoming chapters either way! Trust me, it'll be worth it! ;)
Honestly, I'm a little surprised at how unpopular this ship is. When you follow a fandom that literally has only one canon pairing (not including adults, obviously), you'd think people would go for anything except loudcest... but, apparently not haha.
Disclaimer: The Loud House Copyright Nickelodeon (2017)
Chapter 2: First Impressions
"M-may I help you?"
Oh, gosh, why was Luan suddenly so nervous…? It's just a customer. She'd helped many customers before and never had this problem.
But none of them were quite like her.
"Yes, I want a-" The raven-haired mystery looked quickly at the overhead menu. "-caramel mocha, in whatever size you have that corresponds with 'large.' That's all."
"O-ok." Luan punched some buttons into a cash register. "That'll be $3.72."
Trying not to be obvious about it, but totally being obvious anyway, Luna's smirk grew wider.
The woman paid and settled down at a table far away from them.
And Luan just stared after her. Her chin fell onto her upraised palms, her elbows resting on the counter. "Wow~"
Luna, her grin never wavering, took a good look at the woman, and then Luan, and then the woman. Eh, honestly she didn't see the appeal, but who was she to stand in the way of love at first sight?
Luan turned toward Luna and smiled goofily.
Luna blinked, taken aback for a moment. She hadn't seen that smile in a long time.
"Do you think she'd enjoy puns?"
Luna was stacking cups behind the counter for easy access, but at that she stumbled and they all came crashing down around her.
"What?"
There's no way Luna heard right.
"I think she's the type of girl who has a great sense of humor~!"
Luna looked at her friend, worrying her lip; and then looked at the grumpy mistress staring out the window.
"Uh, Luan?" Are you insane!?
Luan was at the coffee machine, starting on the order.
"How does this sound, Luna? It's ice to meet you~" Luan looked at her friend, taking her eyes away from the machine; her finger still pressing the 'pour' button down. "Makes me sound pretty cool, right?" She chuckled.
The coffee was filling swiftly…
"Luan, she ordered a-"
"YOW!"
Luan jerked her burnt hand back, knocking the cup to the floor. Catching her hand in her other she danced in place, waving them in the air violently to cool off.
Luna sighed, reaching over for the mop and bucket. "Never mind."
Maggie looked outside the window; seeing all the life and energy moving in front of her. A dozen people strolled by. A group of cardinals sung their heart's content.
It was all so pointless.
Life was a fleeting vapor; here today, gone tomorrow; just as languid and pale as death itself.
These people's lives were chained down by responsibility.
Their destinies were chosen for them.
Their freedom was virtually crushed under the iron hand of reality.
Maggie's brows turned down as she crossed her arms over her chest.
Reality sucks.
Her breath caught when she thought she saw the town car turning down the street…
…but it was just a probably-drunk driver going in the wrong lane.
She watched as a string of flashing lights and sirens followed after.
The price of shirking your duties, of choosing your own destiny, of obtaining your own freedom was often too great…
And, even still, reality sucks.
"How about: I like you a latte, let's be friends~?"
"…she ordered a mocha, Luan."
"Oh… Then, how about: You and I were mint to meet, ha ha, get it?"
Sigh. "…she ordered a caramel mocha, Luan."
"Oh… Then, how about-"
Maggie pulled out her phone.
Immediately she was struck with the news for the day.
Seven deaths here.
Five accidents there.
Another attack.
Another plot.
More strings of lies and subterfuge. More covering and blackmail. More intolerant tolerance and biased unbiased opinions about inane matters.
Fortunately, her parents allowed her another app on her phone to escape to when the news of death and hate got too much…
Her itinerary.
Screw it.
She stuffed her phone away and set her arms on the table. She felt so stiff and tense. Like everything in her body was winding up for something wonderful… only to be denied, and forced to wind a little tighter.
That vein in her temple throbbed painfully and she mourned the fact that Alfred had the pain medicine on him.
Because God forbid a twenty-year-old become addicted to ibuprofen…
And now she was wonderfully conflicted, because on one hand seeing Alfred meant the end of her temporary isolation from her caged life… but on the other she could really use some freaking pain meds.
Or a massage…
Sadly, there isn't room for that in her busy schedule either. You can't exactly memorize business models and apply statistics to management theories while you're lying on a bed for half an hour getting the tension removed from your body.
At this point she wondered what anyone would in her situation…
She was twenty-freaking-years-old. Why don't she just tell them to let up!?
She sighed, feeling sorrow crowd inside her heart as she thought of her father until most of the anger had gone.
And a tear fell down her cheek before her head fell onto her arms on the table.
"There! It only took three tries, but this is perfect!"
Luna looked at the standard cup with a sticky note attached to the lid. She cringed at how awful the pun was and looked at her friend with a grimace.
"Are you sure this is the best way to… introduce yourself?"
Luan stuck her tongue out as she leaned down to add a quick doodle.
"I'm positive! Ha-ha-ha! This will knock her socks off!"
As Luan went around the counter and headed off toward her customer, Luna held her face in her hands and shook left and right.
"I can't watch…"
She heard the footsteps before she saw her face.
Maggie turned her eyes up and saw the awkwardly-staring barista from earlier. And the worker was smiling so brightly it hurt.
Just what my mood needs.
"Hi! Here's your coffee!"
The woman set it before her and stood back on the balls of her feet, clasping her hands behind her back and smiling even wider.
It was honestly a little unnerving.
How could anyone look so happy?
Maggie turned her eyes away; not because she was afraid the smile was contagious… but because she would rather focus on her drink than a mildly creepy girl.
Except her eyes stilled, and her hand froze mid-reach before she'd even grabbed the cup.
On the lid was a single sticky-note, bearing a horrible, gosh-awful pun…
In pretty cursive script, "Where have you bean all my life?"
Oh, it was awful and cringe-worthy, and Maggie would definitely have to evaluate the intentions of this girl later on…
But not right now.
Right at that moment, her eyes were stuck on a little doodle of two stick-figure women.
One had on an apron and her hair came down in a swirly ponytail (her barista, she assumed). And the other wore a blazer and her hair rolled up into a tight bun. There was a table in between them, and the pun resided within a speech bubble connected to ponytail girl. Above them, a sun was smiling. And below the two girls, an arrow pointed from ponytail girl to a single word: "Luan." And an arrow pointed from bun girl to a question mark.
Maggie's heart skipped as she tried to determine what it was exactly she was feeling.
Excitement at being so close to art after all that time of being denied it?
Affection at being given a gift for the first time since her itineraries became the norm?
Frustration at how terrifying the humor was?
Concern because she was likely just hit on by someone she'd never seen before?
She didn't know, and for the time being she'd just squash it down into that deep and dark secret place most people called a soul.
She ripped the note off and placed it on the table without a single outward shred of concern; her face never changing or twitching to reveal her inner turmoil.
The woman stopped her bouncing. "So, did you like it?"
Maggie turned and looked at the smiling girl. She didn't even know why she had said the following word… it had just came out.
"No."
And she knew the woman was trying to fight back a frown, keeping on her smile bravely in the face of rejection.
"O-ok. My name is Luan, by the way! What's yours?"
Maggie sighed and turned her head out the window. If she just ignored the woman, she'd go away. Like an annoying fly. Then, once she's gone she might forget about how terrible she felt at crushing the girl's attempts at friendship… just like her father crushed her own.
Her frown deepened.
Luan, however, would not be deterred.
"Hmm, you're the silent type, eh? That's ok! I'll tell you what."
Maggie was momentarily shocked when she sat down at her table, right across from herself. She pulled the coffee protectively toward her side of the table and stared at the woman cautiously.
Luan was smiling sideways and Maggie found it was a… mildly attractive look on her… even if she was awkward and smiled way too much and was a little unnerving.
Luan leaned onto her elbows and raised an eyebrow.
"I'll try to guess your name, then."
Maggie watched warily, bringing the coffee up and sipping it slowly. She barely held back her moan. So, she let out the plainest monotone praise she could manage through her conflicted feelings. "Oh." Her eyes fell upon that stray sticky-note on the table and something began to swell from that secret place in her soul… threatening to burst out into, into something disgusting… like happiness.
"Oh, I know! Are you a Geraldine?" Luan chuckled, finding Maggie's glaring displeasure hilarious.
And that one moment of distraction allowed Maggie the time necessary to crush that affection underneath the combined weights of despair and frustration.
Happiness would never help her. It wouldn't fix her father. It wouldn't console her mother.
And it wouldn't prevent the terrible destruction she knew would befall her home any day now.
There was no point in entertaining joy like some sort of prostitute because one day the night would fall, and she'd never see the sunlight again.
Maggie stared right into her server's eyes, unknowingly expressing her anger, her frustrations, and her sorrow when she spoke.
"No."
Behind the counter, Luna gasped.
"Luan… I'm so sorry…"
She tried to turn back toward the counter, wiping down the same spotless place she'd been rubbing for the last few minutes. But she couldn't help glancing repeatedly at the women… and biting her lip… and feeling so heartbroken for her friend.
Luan's smirk never faltered.
That was the most emotion she'd seen since the girl arrived…
And it only encouraged her to provoke the girl more.
"Well, I guess I used up my one guess for today, huh?"
Maggie's eyes cleared for a moment; her head tilted just a little in confusion.
"Excuse me?"
Luan chuckled before standing.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Mystery!"
She turned and started to walk away, but paused, letting her chin rest on her shoulder as her lidded eyes looked on the stunned girl.
"And don't worry… I'll keep the puns warm for you~"
Luan chuckled as she continued walking back to the counter.
Maggie, however, was left confused and shocked. Like, seriously, what just happened?
Her eyes turned down toward the table for answers… and she caught sight of that sticky-note once again.
And this time, she let her lips turn upward… just the tiniest fraction… at the very edges of her mouth.
Because that silly doodle was the dorkiest thing she'd ever seen.
But in a few short moments, it'd become the fourth most precious thing in her life; right after her parents and her butler.
At least it ranked higher than her itinerary. Heh.
Her smile temporarily widened for the tiniest of seconds.
And then she crushed it back down into her soul, never to be seen again.
But… maybe she let it peek out of her cavernous void of a heart for those few seconds it took to gently pry the paper off the table… and pull out her daily planner... and stick it on the first page.
From a distance, no one could see her smiling lips or hear the affection swarming her body.
As she stood and left that coffee shop, she looked and acted like an anti-social puddle of apathetic cynicism.
But on the inside, she felt a tiny crack forming inside her hardened shell.
Oh, she tried really hard not to look back… but it was futile.
And the last impression she got of her zany barista was of her doubled over, laughing, her ponytail bobbing with her chuckling body.
Maggie smiled as she walked down the sidewalk, her warm cup of heaven in one hand and her other hand in the pocket of her blazer, cradling the planner… reminding her of the treasure that lay inside.
Luna shook her head from side to side.
"Luan, what the earth was that?"
Luan paused her chuckles, wiping a tear from her eye.
She felt great, wonderful even! Better than she'd felt in a very long time!
"That, my friend, is how you get a girl to laugh."
Luna's jaw dropped.
"But- no, wait- I thought… seriously! Weren't you interested in her!?"
Luan turned toward the coffee machine, cleaning up what mess remained from her accident.
"Well, yeah, obviously. I'm totally interested in befriending this girl and making her laugh."
Luna was gobsmacked as Luan stuck her tongue out at her.
"Just… making her laugh? Nothing else…?"
Luan balled up the rag and dropped it onto the edge of a sink, turning back to her friend.
"What? You're making it sound like I have an ulterior motive."
Luna didn't know what to say, so she let it drop.
On one hand, it really looked like her friend had finally found a love interest.
On the other hand, her friend was apparently as oblivious as a sack of potatoes.
Luna sighed heavily before going to check out the back.
When she opened the door, she heard pitter-pattering and a smile lit up her face.
"Baroooo!" was the only warning she got before the little ball of fur collided with her leg and started licking at her pants.
Luna knelt down at the same time he started chewing on her shoelaces, and she grabbed him and picked him up.
His beautiful brown eyes stared back into her own as she bumped her nose into his wet, pink one. She wasn't quick enough and he shot his tongue out and licked her.
"Ewww, Bugle!" She chuckled at him.
He looked back at her with those wide, innocent eyes and she could swear he was laughing on the inside.
"That's a naughty puppy," she tsked. "I was going to give you a treat, but bad puppies don't get any." She set him back down and huffed.
Bugle looked up at her, his eyes growing wider, more innocent. He leaned up and put his forepaws on her shin. He was so small and adorable. He let out a tiny whine from the back of his throat.
And that done Luna in.
"Fine," she sighed. "Just stop with the cuteness, man!"
Her eyes darted left and right. Good, Bobby ain't around…
And then she got out a piece of bread normally reserved for customers and tore it up into tiny bits. She laid it down in front of him and watched as he promptly ate them all.
When he was done, he kept licking the ground to soak up the smell they left behind, and then sat back on his haunches and whined again.
Luna chuckled. "Oh, no. One's enough for now, boy." She leaned down and scratched behind his ears, and the poor dog was defenseless to the intense pleasure exploding inside his little brain.
He leaned into her hand until he accidentally lost his balance and fell onto his side. He squirmed around like a worm until he righted himself, and then he growled.
"What? It wasn't my fault you're sensitive behind the ears, Bugle."
Luna stepped toward a table to clean it up.
Last night, two newbies (and high school seniors, sigh) were tasked with cleaning things up before locking the building. Their boss, Bobby, was shorthanded at this place and it really couldn't be helped. The only problem was the googly eyes they likely gave each other when customers weren't around, and thus Luna was now stuck having to clean up their mess in the morning.
But Bugle wouldn't have none of it! He wouldn't be ignored!
As she drug a trash can over and started cleaning up the table, she was startled when a weight suddenly fell on her foot. She looked down, stunned, but relaxed once she saw the beagle violently mauling her shoestrings.
"Hey, Luan!"
A big smile was on both of their faces as Luan entered the backroom; Luna from the cuteness, and Luan from floating up on cloud nine.
"Yeah~?" she asked dreamily.
Clearly her mind was still on that woman… the woman she only wanted to make laugh. Yeah, right…
"Your dog's trying to murder my shoes."
Luan sighed as she stepped closer.
"I know, wasn't she just the neatest person ever?"
Oh, wow, she had it bad… well, whatever it was she had anyway.
Luna flicked her on the forehead and Luan yelped, reeling away in safety.
"Hey, what was that for?"
Luna didn't respond; just pointing down and smiling widely.
The girls looked down and all they saw was Bugle's butt sticking up in the air, his tail wagging like a propeller blade, as his tiny teeth tried to shred the strings up like confetti.
"Bugle! That's a bad, boy!" Luan gasped and picked him up.
He whined and turned his widest, most innocent eyes onto his new caretaker, as if to say, b-but I have to kill them, master!
Luan looked at him strictly. "No."
And he laid his head down against her hand in surrender, clearly upset with her or himself. When she set him down, he padded over to her jacket-nest and he didn't even have the heart to chew on the sleeves anymore. He laid down and whined pitifully and pathetically.
"Nope, I will not be swayed by fake puppy tears."
Luan turned and headed back to the counter, but paused when she saw the door open and a colorful set of clothing entered through the doorway, topped with a blonde head with a blue patch down the middle.
"Oh, Luna~"
Luna turned, curious at the tone. "What?"
"Your poppet is here~"
Luan was grinning cheekily, but Luna couldn't care less about the tease. She dropped everything with a clatter and ran to the counter. Once she was there, she turned to Luan.
"How do I look!?"
Luan looked her up and down. "A little dirty, but like a hard-working woman. Knock her dead!"
Luna was grinning widely. "Awesome!"
Luan rubbed her friend's back as she stepped to the other end of the counter and made herself busy.
Luna had the biggest crush on this girl for as long as Luan had worked here. The girl, Sam, was slightly older at twenty-two and often came in for coffee in the mornings before class.
And it never failed that Luna would be the one to take her order… and stumble through her attempts at being flirtatious.
Luan bit her lip though because she was beginning to develop a worry for her friend.
Sam might actually be as straight as a ruler… whereas Luna was as straight as, well, a rainbow.
Luan sighed as she headed toward the back to give them privacy.
Her friend had a crush on her for at least two years now and every embarrassing attempt at flirting and asking the girl out ended disastrously in some way or another. Luna was as friend-zoned as Ron Stoppable, and honestly that was just so sad.
She couldn't imagine what it'd feel like to learn that your crush of two years wouldn't return your affection because of her own romantic interests.
Life just sucks like that though.
Life isn't so bad… rarely.
Maggie was one block away from the parking lot and could see the town car. Her face still had on a very faint smile, and she let it reign as she stepped over to the driver's door and looked at her only friend, Alfred.
He was reading Sense and Sensibility, one of those ancient books from England that people fawned over (but really only ever watched the poorly done TV dramas). Alfred, though, adored it as well as the author. And he'd tried numerous times to get Maggie to read one, but it just never could fit into her busy schedule.
She tapped on the glass and he looked up at her, just as straight-faced as ever.
His mask broke for a fraction of a second when he saw the tiny smile on her lips, and he promptly opened the door and stepped outside.
"What's on your mind, Margaret?"
Her smile grew just a tiny bit more.
"I want to stop at the store after class today, Alfred."
She saw the faintest smile touching his own cheeks; a sight she hadn't seen for just as long as he hadn't seen it on her own.
"Oh, and what do you need?"
She turned to hide the faint pink dusting her cheeks.
"Some pencils and paper…"
He pretended not to notice her blush.
"Anything else?"
She was thankful he pretended not to notice her blush deepening; her mind had briefly turned toward a swirling ponytail and laughing smile.
"…and sticky-notes."
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A Woman After My Own Heart