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Anon E. Mus Private Eye	By : Magmos Category: -Misc Cartoons > Crossovers Views: 14208 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own any cartoon characters that may appear, nor do I claim any affiliation with their owners, nor do I own any characters associated with them. I make no money off of this fan fiction.

Chapter List
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You ever hear of Karma? Basically, you do good things and get rewarded by the universe, you do bad things, and you get punished. When I was younger I wouldn’t have put much stock in the idea. Even now I don’t, you only gotta pay attention to the political scene to put that doubt in ya. Every now and again though, something happens that makes me rethink my stance on the subject a bit. Such as this one case back in the 70’s…
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“OOH!” Jessica cooed excitedly as I pushed her against my desk, her soft ass mashing against the edge. “Mr. Mus,” she pleaded, “do I really have to pay like this?”
I looked the redhead up and down. Instead of that red cocktail dress she usually wore, she was garbed in what could only be described as a porn star version of a secretary outfit. Her top was a buttoned up white blouse that was straining to hold back her bountiful chest, her erect nipples poking through the thin cloth. Her lower half had a black mini-skirt all but wrapped around her hips and ass, her long smooth legs garbed in peach stockings, connected by a garter belt hidden by said skirt, and shining black high heels.
I smirked as I reached out and grabbed the center of her shirt before yanking it open, the sound of shredding cloth echoing out as she gasped, revealing her bare breasts with her pink nipples jutting out and hardening under the cool air. She then moaned as I began groping at her tits, both of my hands barely able to hold half of their chosen breasts.
“Oh come now Mrs. Rabbit,” I said as I leaned in closer to her face, “You and I both know that your husband hasn’t been getting work lately, and I don’t work cheaply. If you don’t have the cash to hire me, then you’ll have to pay with…” One of my hands let of the breast it was squeezing, and ducked under her skirt before rubbing the front of her already soaked panties, ”OTHER methods.”
She started squirming in my grasp, her fluids dripping down her legs and pooling on the floor. “Fine then you brute! Take me if you insist, just promise me you’ll help my husband!”
I chuckled as my hand rubbing her panty clad snatch stopped it’s ministrations. “That, my dear…” I then grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around, putting her back to me before I forced her down over my desk, her tits mashing into the smooth wood as her hands struggled vainly to try and lift herself up. With one hand keeping her pinned, I used my other to lift up her skirt, revealing a black thong just barely covering any of her ass before unbuckling my belt and forcing down my pants and underwear, allowing my member complete freedom, “depends entirely on you.”
I began rubbing my dick against her soft, warm, Toon flesh, causing Jessica to groan out of a mix of desire and frustration. Deciding to be a little more playful, I slapped her ass cheeks with my member, her ass jiggling with every impact. I then pulled her panties down, letting them fall to her feet before leaning over her, nudging myself against her entrance as I put my lips against her ear.
“Any preferences?” I whispered mockingly before gently licking at her ear, causing her one, visible mascara covered eye to shut tight as she moaned. Heh. Porn Toons. Everywhere is so sensitive when you get em going.
“Just get it over with you blackmailing bastard!” She tried to spit out. Too bad she couldn’t quite keep that eager smile off her face though.
With that, I pulled her torso up a bit, letting her melons have some room to dangle, and firmly grabbed her tits to give me a better handhold as I slammed my member into her tight depths in one smooth thrust. I could all but feel her sticky juices flowing down her leg as she shuddered and moaned.
“You little slut” I whispered in her ear,”did you just cum a little bit?”
“No!” she gasped out, the shaking of her legs revealing that to be oh so much bullshit. “I..I didn’t…I would never…” *SMACK!* “AH!”
I slapped her ass to make her stop lying to me. I then started thrusting into her, deep, hard, and fast, her velvet folds clinging to me as I plunged in and out of her, my desk rocking forward with every thrust.
“AH! OH! YES!” Jessica shrieked every time my hips hit her ass. Not wanting the neighbors to start griping (yes, even in Toon Town noise complaints are a thing) I grabbed her face and turned it towards mine. Oh, now that’s an ego booster. Her visible eye had rolled up into her head, her tongue was dangling a bit, she was completely blissed out.
I forced my mouth against her’s , her moans and screams became muffled. Jessica still had enough wits to return the kiss, her tongue rubbing against my own as she pressed her own hand against the back of my head and pushed us closer together.
We continued like this for a fair bit, but all too soon I could feel myself reaching my edge. I started thrusting more rapidly, making Jessica squirm and squeal as I desperately tried to make he come before me.
“MMMMPH!” Jessica screeched into my mouth as I felt her pussy clamp down on me, her walls jerking me off as her cum poured out of her and onto the floor. That was the last straw for me. My hips jerked forward as I felt my dick expand and fire round after round inside her, my cum mixing and pouring out with her own juices.
Eventually we collapsed onto my desk, both of us panting as we attempted to catch our breath. Well, I attempted to, Jessica just laid under me and nuzzled me in the afterglow.
“Jessica…” I panted out.
“Mmm?”
“You have some odd roleplay fantasies for a girl who claims to only be drawn bad.” Jessica’s only reaction was to giggle a bit before kissing me again, much less intense than before, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t getting me back to full mast.
“I agree.” A new voice chimed in, clearly struggling to not laugh.
Our eyes widened as I quickly leapt off of Jessica and turned around, out mixed fluids flying off my soft dick as Jessica pulled down her skirt and turned with me.
There at my doorway stood Jane Jetson, clad in her usual purple getup, and covering her mouth with one hand while the other was wrapped around her belly, the snickering coming from her clearly telling me who it was that was talking. I then noticed that there was someone next to her. She was about Jane’s height, and oddly was completely covered up by what looked to be a tattered cloak, cave for her face which, while pretty in a similar manner to Jane’s, was currently beet red and hidden behind her hands. The new girl quickly turned about face and ran off.
“I’ll go get her,” Jane snickered, “you two just make yourselves look more…presentable…” She then darted off after the other woman, laughing up a damn storm after leaving our eyesight.
I let out a sigh as Jessica, now fully dressed and looking fresh as a daisy (How? I have no idea. Freaking Toons sometimes) handed me a roll of paper towels. “So…” I began as I started wiping myself down with the cleaning utensils, “she didn’t have an appointment did she?”
“Anon, please.” Jessica began in a mildly insulted tone, “I know you didn’t hire me for my talents as a secretary, but I can at least keep your schedules up to date.”
I nodded at that, zipping up my pants. “Right, sorry. Wonder why Jane is here then?”
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“So, you may be wondering why I’m here then.” A now composed Jane said as she stood before my desk. She then gestured towards to new lady who was still standing in my doorway. “It’s because my friend here. Come on in and take your cloak off will you? You’re safe here, Mus won’t sell you out to the tabloids!”
With a little sigh, the cloaked woman took off the tattered cover, showing u all who she was. The first thing I noticed was that she was rather flat chested. I mean, I know Jessica was downright gratuitous, but even when compared to Jane this woman had nothing going on with her chest. I them paid a bit more attention to what she was dressed in, and honestly, it stood out. It was a dress in light shade of blue that seemed to be held up via a necklace/choker looking thing that was draped around her neck, but the base of it shared the same ragged look her cloak did, almost as if it was made of haphazard animal skins.
Continuing downward, I noticed that her legs and feet were completely bare. Not stocking, no socks, no shoes, nothing but peach Toon skin. Dainty little feet too, clearly one of her designers had a thing. My gaze continued upward a bit on her…okay, I think I see where the ink for her chest went because good lord those were hips. I mean, if childbirthing hips were in the dictionary, those suckers would be the picture right next to em.
Her face, as I stated before, was pretty enough. Again, more in the vein of Jane’s than Jessica’s with pleasant features and a dollop of red lipstick. Her hair was pure black with a large curl in both the front and back, the one in front going downward, and the one in back going up, all topped off with a cute little blue bow.
Oh holy crap, its Betty freaking Rubble. One of the biggest names in TV Cartoons is standing in my office.
Where my pants were down…where I was fucking my secretary like an animal…and she saw all that for god knows how long…
Crap. I could literally feel money flying away from me. No, seriously, there’s a nest of sentient flying dollars in my office somewhere.
I quickly stood up and extended a hand towards Betty, hoping she’d be willing to ignore the issue from before, attempting to talk in my most authoritative tone. “Good to meet you Miss…”
“Mrs.” Betty interrupted before shaking my hand with a warm smile, “Mrs. Rubble. You should already know that though.”
Boy, but with Jane here this conversation was certainly bringing back memories. “Sorry Ma’am, just didn’t know the state of your marriage.”
“Yes…” Betty began, clearly uncomfortable, “well…I’m afraid my marriage is why I’m here. You see…”
Seeing that Betty was clearly stalling, Jane opted to speak up. “Betty’s marriage isn’t like mine Anon. She and Barney are married on and off the set, but lately Barney has been growing more and more distant from her. They barely spend any time together, he’s been spending as little time on the set as possible, and recently we’ve been getting letters.” At this point Betty began squirming, her face contorted and clearly about to start crying. “Letters scented with another woman’s perfume.”
Well you don’t need to be Batman to see where this was going. “So you’re assuming that Barney has another lady on the side?”
“Not just any lady,” Jane continued, “we think she may be a human.”
Okay, that’s surprising on multiple levels. Granted, there ARE Toon fetishists like me who are women, but to call them rare is an understatement due to how Toon men take to sex. Yeah, you got guys like George who can handle it, but most can’t. Not to mention how Toons take to the whole Sex Vs Paddy Cake thing. My instincts were pointing me more towards the idea he was seeing a hooker more than anything.
Granted, I kept that to myself. I may be an ass, but even I’m not gonna tell a weeping lady that her husband is banging ladies of the night.
“Mind if I see the letter?” Jane nodded and pulled the letter out of a pocket in her dress and handed it to me.
Now, I’m not one for poetry, I’ll be the first to admit that fact, but this? This was something else. You could practically feel the emotion coming off the paper. Love, lust, joy, this thing was passionate. I’d transcribe it, but…eh…effort.
“Okay,” I began, “there is most likely another woman involved. So I take it you want me to find anything concrete?”
“Yes.” Betty croaked out. Out of sympathy I handed her the roll of paper towels to give the poor woman something to cry into. “I…I hope I’m wrong about this, I really do, but I can’t stand this! I love my husband Mr. Mus, and I WANT to trust him, but…”
“Can’t deny what’s in front of ya.” I interrupted. “Gotta applaud ya on that, seen WAY too many women stick with a dud of a relationship by ignoring the obvious.”
She nodded at that. “So, I need to know, and Jane recommended you. Mr. Mus, please, find out everything you can!”
I just nodded and smiled warmly. “Just go talk to Jessica,” I motioned to said redhead’s desk, “she’ll give you my going rates and I’ll get to work.”
Betty nodded and walked over to Jessica’s desk. Jane got up to go with her only to be stopped by me grabbing her by her skirt.
“Not that I mind the extra work Jane, but I’m assuming that there’s a reason you sent Betty to me beyond just being a good friend.”
Jane looked a little guilty. “Yeah, there is. I let go of her skirt and she turned back towards me. “I’m sorry Anon, but I recommended you because I know you can keep this quiet.”
“Okay, why do you need this quiet then?”
Jane sighed. “Because it’s not just Betty and Barney’s marriage on the line here, it’s her show, and possibly others. You know how badly George and Jessica could’ve screwed things up, but the Flintstones is a flagship title. A scandal there could have a nasty ripple effect.”
Made sense to me. Shit rolls downhill after all, and a good sex scandal in “good, wholesome” entertainment had the potential to be an outright monsoon.
“Jane?” Betty’s called out, her voice oddly muffled. We looked over to see Betty’s face was currently buried in between Jessica’s cloth covered melons as the tall, busty red head gently stroked the smaller woman’s back in an attempt to comfort her. “Everything’s set up, can we go?”
Jane let out a giggle at that. Sure Betty. Well Anon, we hope to hear from you soon. Preferably with news that we’re just being paranoid.” With that, she grabbed Betty, and Betty’s cloak and left my office.
Well, this was certainly something. A case of potential infidelity, celebrities, the future of television, all on my shoulders. I’d have to get to work on this ASAP.
I then heard what sounded like a desk rocking a bit coming from Jessica’s desk. Turning towards her, I saw that she had climbed atop her desk; her shirt unbuttoned a showing off her pink tipped tits again with her legs spread wide revealing her panties had gone missing.
“So then Anon,” she whispered huskily, “where were we?”
ASAP of course coming after another round with Jessica.
-----
For most P.I.s, spouse tracking is pretty much the lifeblood of the industry. Now, you’d think this is usually a pretty sweet gig. Just follow someone around, snag a few pictures, perhaps even get a good show for your trouble alongside a paycheck. But that’s because you’re not thinking about the reality of the situation. Normally the spouse you’re following is a fat greaseball of a husband, which already makes this a crap job to have to see THAT nude and thrusting, and often they’ll be indulging in a fetish they don’t want their wife to know about. Cross Dressing, scat, pegging, the list goes on. Added fun, if it’s the husband who hired you, chances are high he’s gonna lose his shit when he sees the pictures, and you’re gonna be flattened if you don’t lay him out which tends to eat your payday right up.
Think Toons are any different? Think again. For all the whimsy and crap, Toons tend to fall into the same vices the rest of us do. Do you have any idea how much my repair bills drain me when freaking Yogi Bear thinks Cindi is cheating on him and he goes nuts in my office?
That all said though, it’s relatively easy work, and there’s no shortage of clients. Even if there wasn’t a lot riding on this one I’d still be doing it.
Added fun, unless you were looking for a nameless extra, tracking Toons tended to be a relatively easy job. See, Toons have this funny little habit of standing out like nobody’s business. On human streets it’s particularly noticeable, but even in Toon Town they can stand out if you know what you’re looking for. Distinctive designs can be an absolute bitch if you’re trying to go unnoticed.
This job in particular started off well enough. My first stakeout position was Hanna Barbera Studios. Man, but that place was such a downgrade compared to the old studios back in the day. Much smaller, less people darting about, heck, even the actors were more restrained. Back in the days of Warner, MGM, and Disney it was a common occurrence to see Toons launched from buildings from stunts gone wrong (or right). Here though? The studios were noisy, but that was about it.
Anyway, all I really needed here was for Barney to leave so I could start following him, which he did soon enough. Shorter than most people, very stout, blonde hair, big nose, dotted eyes, and the same style of outfit as Betty, just in brown.
He left the front gate, whistling and humming a jaunty little tune to himself. Thankfully for me, he seemed averse to using any kind of cars, instead opting to just walk everywhere. At the very least it made things easier on me.
By and large, there wasn’t much to write home about with the whole thing. Barney just wandered about L.A without so much as a care. He’d hit up random stores such as bakeries, instrument shops, costume stores, sign autographs for anyone who asked, really, it was just dull work.
Things did pick up however. As night began to fall, the short caveman stopped by a couple of rather peculiar shops. One was a flower store where he picked up a dozen blue roses (Seriously, blue. Freaking botanists…) another stop at a candy store where he bought a large heart shaped box of something or another, and finally…huh. The same store where I buy my hats and trench coats. Small world.
Now garbed in what he most likely thought was inconspicuous clothing, he continued onward, still whistling and humming until he finally stopped outside of a restaurant.
Oh my. Amanti Affamati, the most expensive and romantic Italian restaurant in the area. Someone was hoping to get lucky tonight.
Barney walked inside, but I waited outside for a bit. Now, this seems counterproductive but think about it, if I go in right with him I run the risk of him noticing me right away. No, best to count to sixty and then go in.
---
Inside was pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a place like this. Serenading musicians, lit candles with hollow holders with heart shaped holes, a guy going around putting pepper on meals, the works.
Honestly made me think I should bring Cindy here if I ever saved that kind of scratch. She’d either be moved to tears, or we could have a good laugh at the cheesiness of this place.
I looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of the caveman I’d been stalking…THERE! And oh my, that’s not Betty now is she? Betty’s not blonde, Betty’s not busty, and above all else Betty’s not made of human skin, and just my luck! They were seated by a window with an alleyway!
Ducking out before the head waiter, or whatever you call those stiffs that lead you to a seat, could talk to me I dashed around the building till I found the alley and ducked into it, behind a convenient trash can. Looking around its corner, I had a clear view of the happy couple. Pulling out my camera I took a few establishing shots of the happy couple before ducking back. I then pulled out a small mirror so I could better observe what was going on with less risk of exposing myself.
Things carried on like this, with me popping out for a few shots on particularly good moments before ducking back. Nothing really good so far, just a few light pecks and that’s nothing more than circumstantial at best.
Eventually the happy couple left, forcing me to abandon my little hidey hole. Now is when things get hard. Trying to avoid being noticed by one person can be hard enough, but you only need to avoid being seen by that one person. Add another set of eyes and ears to the mix, and it becomes far more complex.
Thankfully, the two were too focused on each other to really notice me, and they ended up walking into a, (again) thankfully, one story house with plenty of shrubbery.
Right then, I quickly darted into some of the bushes and ended up with a clear enough look into a bedroom. Oh, here we go, the lady is in lingerie, and Barn is stripping down. I took another shot and continued to wait.
They then seemed to go through some standard foreplay. Kissing, sucking, you know the deal. I’d go into detail but…do you really wanna know what Barney Rubble looks like without clothes? Trust me, you don’t. All I knew was that this would work well enough.
Then they moved on to something I knew would break Betty’s heart. Paddy Cake. Lots, and lots of paddy cake. Barn was certainly into it if how much he…shot was any indication.
What I couldn’t help but wonder though was why Barney was cheating on Betty. Granted, he may have been a breast man, but beyond that I couldn’t see what he was getting out of…wait…what is she doing? Why is she squa…OH DEAR CHRIST IN HEAVEN NO! GOD NO!
Urg…fight it back Anon, fight it back….just keep taking photOH LORD IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE! HOW!? Now she’s…NO! DON’T PUT IT IN THERE! And now…blaugh…fuck it. I’ve got enough pictures. At least I know what this girl has that Betty doesn’t. I need to find someplace to hurl….
----
It was late in the morning when Jessica in her secretary outfit walked into my office to find me sitting at my desk, staring at what had once been a full bottle of scotch.
“Late night Anon?” Jessica asked as she removed my bottle.
“You have no idea Jess.” I groaned out as I put my camera on my desk. “Think you could take this someplace to get them developed? I’d go, but I don’t trust myself behind the wheel right now.” She reached out to the camera, but a sudden thought forced me to grab her hand as she took it. “Don’t look at the pictures Jess. Whatever you do, do NOT look at the pictures.”
“That bad?”
“You have no idea Jess. If you could warn the staff at the developing studio to not look at them more than they need to, I’d appreciate that. Afterwards, just take the rest of the day off. I’m gonna be useless for the day I think.”
Jessica nodded in sympathy before leaning over my desk, giving me an ample view of her cleavage. “Anything else I can do Anon?” She whispered huskily, her type of help being made readily apparent.
Never did I think that one day I would not be up for sex with Jessica, but after what I saw, my sex drive was all but nonexistent. “Not really I’m sorry to say. Sorry Jess, but the spirit is just not game for it today.”
Jessica just nodded with a small pout and walked out, considerately slowly closing the door behind her.
With a mild wince, I picked up the office phone and dialed up Betty’s number, arranging a meeting between us at the one place I knew we’d be able to get some privacy and some strong booze. After what I’d seen I did NOT want to be sober this week.
---
The Ink and Paint club. You know it, I know it, we all love it, the current venue was currently themed around cool jazz again, and it was my first pick for subtle drunkenness.
The band on stage wasn’t anything special. Pretty certain they were just extras from one Disney film or another looking to make a quick buck. I was seated at a booth in a corner, a large bottle of gin on the table in front of me alongside a bucket of ice, some sliced limes, two glasses, and a yellow folder containing those pictures.
I wanted nothing but to chug right from that bottle, but my own sense of manners kept me from doing so. I wasn’t the only one who was going to need a stiff drink. Good gravy, but I hate this part of the job something fierce. A sweet thing like Betty having to be told by a stranger that her husband is cheating on her and in such debauched ways? That’s the sort of thing that I’ve seen absolutely wreck people.
Betty’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. “Hello Mr. Mus. You said you had an update?”
Looking up I saw the Toon cave lady, clad in her usual blue outfit, staring at me with hopeful eyes. Yep. This was going to suck. I gestured to the seat in front of me. “Take a seat Mrs. Rubble. You aren’t gonna like what you see.”
And there were the tears already forming. Without another word she sat down as I poured us some gin. Good stuff here. Strong enough a Toon will feel it, but not so much they go berserk.
“Now then,” I began as I picked up my glass, “I’m gonna be blunt here. He IS cheating on you.” I gestured to the envelope. “You got enough evidence in there to take him to the cleaners in pretty much any divorce court in the world.” She started to move a hand to take the thing, but was stopped when I gently grasped it. Good lord by that is a tiny little hand. “Betty, this is something I tell everyone in these situations, but in your case it REALLY applies; you are NOT going to like what you see there. At all. You REALLY would be better off never looking at them.” I let go of her hand, and after a moment’s hesitation she took it, opened it, and started flipping through it.
Damned curiosity.
“I know this woman!” Betty exclaimed as she flipped through the photos. “She’s our manager! I knew she and Barney were close but…” If I had to guess, she just hit the foreplay. “Oh…oh no..they…they’re so…” Her face twisted up at this point. Tears were outright streaming down her face. “Paddy Cake…” she sobbed, “why…why did it have to be Paddy Cake!?”
That was it. The last shred of hope that she could salvage her marriage. Sex is one thing, but a Toon spouse playing Paddy Cake with another person? That’s not just the last nail in the coffin, that’s the last of the dirt being thrown on the grave.
Bracing myself for what was coming next, I chugged down my gin and got to pouring myself another glass as Betty’s eyes widened in shock and horror.
“What…what is…is this why he’s cheating on me!? Because I can’t do this!?”
Yeah, another fun Toon biology lesson kids; unless it’s for a gag and the Toon in question was designed for it, Toons don’t have a lot of the same biological functions humans have. For most of us, this is no big deal, but for degenerates like Barney? Complete deal breaker.
Betty flipped through the pictures for a bit longer, her face turning greener and greener as her tears started flowing before she shoved them back in the envelope, threw it back at me, and chugged down her gin. “I just can’t believe it.” She sobbed as I poured her another drink which she gratefully took. “Ten years. Ten years three shows, and a movie Mus! That’s how long we’ve been married, it’s how long we’ve been ALIVE, and he throws it all away for some sick FETISH!”
From depression to rage in seconds flat. Gotta love slight spouse mood swings.
“I mean, yeah, other’s warned us. You always hear about how the Disney Princesses broke up with their princes a week after filming, but Barney and me connected so well! I thought…I thought…” At this she broke down sobbing into the table. Crap. We’re starting to get looks here. Time to move this elsewhere. I grabbed the drink, photos, and glasses in one hand, and urged Betty to get up and follow me backstage and away from any remaining prying eyes.
Why backstage? Well, part of the advantages to being Jessica Rabbit’s fuckbuddy included a spare key to her dressing room. Why didn’t I just start there? Because I wanted witnesses around in case Betty lost her shit. No way am I putting up with THOSE repair bills!
We quickly found our way into Jessica’s room, where I then led Betty onto the couch after putting the glasses on a nearby table. Betty quickly latched onto my shoulder, sitting in my lap as she did so, and resumed sobbing hysterically, ensuring that I was going to need a trip to the dry cleaners soon.
No, I didn’t mention that, I just rubbed her back and let her let it out.
As it went on though, I noticed that she was starting to rub up on me, her large hips rocking back and forth on my leg as I felt a dampness forming.
“Um, Mrs. Rubble!” I said as my hands grabbed onto her hips to make her stop. “Look, I understand that you’re not thinking straight but…”
“Mr. Mus, please,” she interrupted, “I need this. After what I’ve seen, I need this. Please, just for tonight, make me feel wanted.”
I pulled her head off my shoulder to look her in the eye. I wanted to tell her she didn’t need to do this. That she was plenty beautiful, and how she just had the rotten luck of hooking up with a deviant. But when I looked into those eyes, something crumbled.
Goddamnit, my weakness for crying Toon women is gonna get me into no small amount of shit one of these days.
I leaned forward, only intending to kiss her lightly, only for Betty to lurch forward and mash her mouth into mine, forcing her tongue into my mouth. Not to be outdone, I pressed forward with equal vigor, my hands reaching down and grasping at her wide hips.
I pulled up the sides of her dress, exposing her bare ass to my roaming hands. Not so much as a scrap of panty cloth between me and the expanse of Toon flesh. I started by rubbing the skin on her sides, gently moving my hands up and down before moving towards her plump ass and grabbing a spilling handful in each hand.
I gently squeezed each cheek in a hand, massaging and groping at the pillowy flesh; all the while Betty squirmed and wiggled in my arms, groaning into my mouth. I slid one of my hands lower till I could feel her pussy lips, outright dripping with her lust.
She finally broke away from me, letting me pant for air for a bit. “Wow…” She muttered, looking dazed herself. It’s so…different with humans.” She them let out her trademark giggle as I gave her ass a firm smack. “Oh my, is my butt so fun to play with?”
I can’t lie, I may be a breast man but Betty’s ass was nothing short of amazing. This woman’s ass could double as a pillow! So soft and warm! I actually whined a bit as it slipped out of my hands due to Betty shimmying down till she was kneeling in front of me. Of course, my whining was cut short as she started rubbing my dick through my pants.
“Oh my Mr. Mus! Are you a little pent up?” She then quickly undid my belt and pants and began pulling them down. “Let’s let this little guy out for a bit.” As my pants hit the floor and Betty saw my erection, her eyes widened in shock. “Oh…oh wow.” She then slowly reached out a hand, the tiny limb not even managing to wrap halfway around my manhood. She then added her second hand, just under the first, and started gently stroking it up and down. “Did I do this?”
“Oh yes you did Betty.” I replied while reaching my own hand down to stroke her face, bringing her focus back to my face. “Let me put it bluntly, Barney is an idiot. Any man, Toon or otherwise, would be crazy to give you up for a fetish.”
Of course I kept the fact that Toons were MY fetish to myself. Gotta keep the mood going after all.
Betty smiled, I mean really smiled, for the first time since I met her. “Well then, I guess I better not disappoint.” She then lowered her head down to my ball sack and gently nuzzled them; leaving small kisses everywhere she could, slowly trailing upwards to the base of my dick where she began licking away at any bit of skin she could reach, eventually ending up at the tip.
Betty’s face then scrunched up like a confused puppy. “Um, what exactly do I do now?”
Okay. Not what I expected to hear. “You’re kidding.”
She shook her head in the negative. “No. Barney and I stuck to Paddycake. The other girls on the set would talk, but I never heard much.”
Crap. Okay, I know some guys go nuts over virginal girls, but frankly they’re more trouble than anything. Give me a girl who knows what the hell she’s doing any day. Still, too far in now.
“Okay Betty, let me lead you through this.” At her nod I continued on. “First, grab my shaft, gently, and start stroking me again.”
She nodded and wrapped her small hands around my dick as best as she could before slowly rubbing them up and down my length, their journey taking them from the base to just under the crown. Good lord, but her hands felt amazing! They were so soft and gentle; it was like she was stroking me off with warm silk!
“Oh god,” I groaned out, practically melting into the couch, “Betty, you’re a natural!”
She just giggled at that. “Well that’s nice to hear. So, what next?”
“Well,” I started as I ran my thumb around her lips, “next I’d say you should wrap those lips of yours around the tip of my dick and then wing it from there?”
With a nod, Betty rose up enough to press her lips against the tip of my cock, lightly pecking it at first but slowly becoming more passionate as she kissed it, wet smacking noises echoed out with every press. She then pressed her lips against the tip and slowly pushed down, sliding the head into her warm, wet, mouth.
“Okay, stop.” I groaned out, her eyes looking at mine. “Just…just get comfortable now. Play with what you’ve got, and then move down when you’re comfortable.” Hey, just because Toons have no gag reflex doesn’t mean trying to deepthroat a man can’t have issues. Thank god Toons are stretchy, that’s all I’ll say.
Taking my advice to heart, Betty began gently sucking on the head of my member, her cheeks lightly hollowing with every suck. She soon added her tongue to the mix, almost hesitantly as I felt the organ lightly rub the sides before slowly swilling around the head like a sucker.
“Good girl.” I groaned as I put a hand on the back of her head to encourage her. No pushing her down yet Mus, let her set the pace. “Try going deeper now.”
Betty mumbled something before slowly lowering herself down, swallowing more and more of my dick until she hit the base, her nose buried in my pubes. The feeling was nothing short of bliss, the tightness of her throat squeezing around my shaft mixed with the warm moisture of her saliva. I let out a loud groan that managed to get another giggle out of her, the vibrations from that making me shiver.
My self control broke at that point. My hands on her head grabbed a firm hold of her and I started lifting her up, a small squeek of surprise coming from her as she went. After I removed about half of my member from her throat, I pushed her back down, forcing myself back in and slamming her face back into my pelvis as she gurgled around me.
“Sorry Betty!” I grunted as I started fucking her face harder and faster. “I can’t take it anymore! Your mouth just feels too good!”
Betty’s response got rid of any guilt I may have been feeling. Her hands gripped my thighs as I felt her head become less difficult to move. I let go of my grip and watched as she rapidly deep throated me, her eyes meeting mine with a sly, lustful gaze as she slurped away.
My dam broke at that point. With a loud yell, I came, round after round of my jizz firing down her throat. Betty’s eyes went wide as she realized what was going on but she kept up her pace, drawing out my cum as long as she could. Finally, I came down and she pulled herself away, slurping all the while until the softening head of my shaft left her mouth with a small pop.
“Hmm.” Betty moaned inquisitively as she licked her lips. “Not bad.”
As I looked at the soon to be ex-housewife enjoying my flavor, something in me went wild. I reached down again, both of my hands grabbing the bottom of her dress and yanked it up on off her, leaving her completely exposed.
Just as I thought, Betty was flat as a board, but it honestly didn’t detract from her appeal. Her wide hips, her smooth skin, her plush ass, all of it more than made up for any shortcomings.
And I wanted her.
I quickly scooped her up bridal style, Betty letting out a squeal and a regular giggle as I did, and carried her to Jessica’s bed where I quickly tossed her on the mattress, her body bouncing a few times before she settled. I quickly disrobed myself and hopped on the bed, moving myself so that I was on top of her, my dick almost poking at her entrance.
“Um…” she stammered out with a degree of nervousness, “what are we gonna do now Anon?”
I smiled and leaned in clkoser, letting her face feel every breath I took. “Now Betty, I am going to fuck you.” One of my hands reached to her chest, grabbing one of her bright pink nipples and causing her to gasp. “I am going to fuck you long and hard until the images of those photos and your husband aren’t even a memory.” As I said that, I slid my hand down, enjoying the feel of her light and smooth Toon skin until I reached her pussy lips, finding them to be warm and soaking to the touch, and spread them open. “Do you have any objections?”
Betty’s only response was to smile and spread her legs wide. “Give it to me.” She said firmly.
With her permission, I thrust my hips forward, forcing my dick into her tight depths in one stroke. Betty, clearly not expecting that, arched her back as her mouth opened wide in a silent scream. Her arms and legs then latched around my back and waist, allowing her to cling to me.
Oh, she and Jane HAD to have the same artists! Just like Jane, Betty’s pussy was as tight as a freaking vice, hot as hell, and smooth as velvet! I’m pretty certain I would’ve exploded into her right when I thrust in!
I looked down at her face and saw that her eyes had gone wide and wild, her tongue was dangling out of her mouth. “OH YES!” she panted and screamed, “I’M SO FULL! “
“Not yet you aren’t.” I grunted out as I pulled back as much as she would let me and thrust back in, shaking the bed and causing Betty to shriek again. Every thrust into her cause the brunette under me to scream more and more, her hands and legs tightening their grip with every thrust I shoved into her. Not wanting to risk anyone barging in, I leaned down and forced my lips against hers, my tongue pushing against her own, both of which she quickly returned.
Even with Betty’s screams muffled the room was quite noisy. Every time I thrust into Betty we made loud slapping and squishing sounds as I slammed my hips into hers and I churned her juices, the bed was squeaking and rocking back and forth with every thrust, the headboard hitting the wall every time I slammed myself inside her depths, all the while Betty screamed into my mouth.
Soon though, I felt Betty stiffen up as her pussy lips clamped down even tighter around me, her juices splashing around our crotches. The increased pressure pushed me over the edge and forced me to come with her, my dick all but exploding with my cum into her.
I finally broke off the kiss, leaving me panting while Betty just limply clung to me, her face nuzzling into my shoulder.
“Oh wow.” She cooed. “I had no idea…human women are so lucky! That was almost better than Patty Cake!”
I smirked at hearing that as I slid my hands down to her hips and gently rubbed them for a bit. As I did that though, I realized that there was one thing that I REALLY wanted to do with Betty, and if I didn’t take that chance now I’d regret it for the rest of my life.
I pulled out of Betty’s pussy, our mixed fluids flowing out and pooling under her, and gave a few light slaps to her side. “We’re not done yet Miss. I need you on your hands and knees.”
Betty looked confused, but opted to follow my lead, releasing her grip on me and turning around on her belly before sitting up on all fours, and revealing that squishy, plump ass of her’s.
I reached out and squeezed the fleshy orbs in front of me, reveling in the soft Toon butt in my hands, before giving her right cheek a mall slap, causing Betty to gasp and said cheek to jiggle.
“You like that huh?” I asked before giving her a harder slap.
“AH! Well, it’s certainly not what I, OH! Not what I expected!”
I started slapping her ass a bit more rapidly, alternating between each cheek and watching them bounce like jello bowls. Honestly, it was kind of hypnotic. Eventually though, I had enough of my fun so I opted to move on, and lowered my face to her left cheek before pressing my lips to it and sucking in the skin.
“OOOH!” Betty squealed as I slowly started moving around, leaving a trail of light hickies as I went. “Anon, what are you doing back there!?”
“Worshiping your best feature.” I said simply before I started licking around and slowly moving to her right cheek and repeating what I did on the left there. “This ass of yours is the stuff of dreams Betty.” I then started nipping a little, leaving small marks over her expanse of ass flesh.
“EEP! My…my best?”
“Yeah,” I said as I started moving to the crevice between her asscheeks, “your best. This ass and these hips,” I gave both another slap to empathize my point, “men would kill just to hold them, let alone what I’m doing.” I then pulled her cheeks apart, exposing her white asshole.
“So what are you doing?” She asked in genuine confusion.
“Enjoying this ass to the best of my ability!” I then dove into her ass crack, my tongue licking rapidly at her asshole.
I could feel Betty squirm from what I was doing, clearly not expecting me to start doing that. “AAAH! Anon, what, OH! What are doooING!?”
I didn’t answer, instead focusing on devouring this little minx’s ass and plunged my tongue into her sphincter and rolling it around.
As I did this, Betty at some point collapsed into the mattress, her chest and face buried into one of Jessica’s pillows, but thanks to my grip her ass remained up in the air.
“Oh Anon,” she panted, “I don’t know why, but this feels AMAZING! I think I’m…I’m actually…AAAAAAGHH!” I felt her ass clamp down around my tongue as she came, her cum flooding out and splashing onto the bed.
Betty just laid there, her upper half still laying on the bed while I kept her ass up in the air, the Toon woman panting and drooling into the mattress. “Oh Anon…that was AMAZING!”
I moved myself up a bit and slid my fully erect and throbbing member in between her cheeks, sliding my rod like a hotdog in a bun. “Oh, we aren’t done yet Betty.” I then pressed the head of my dick gainst her asshole and started pressing against it.
Betty went stiff as a small squeak escaped her lips. “Anon? I don’t think that’s supposed to go there!”
“Shhh, just calm down. “ I whispered while stroking her back. “I think you’ll enjoy this.”
I started pressing forward, meeting no end of resistance from Betty’s sphincter as I slowly crammed in the head of my cock, centimeter by centimeter. Betty was taking it in stride, biting down on one of the bed’s pillows.
What? Just because Toon’s can’t get hurt doesn’t mean a good ass fucking isn’t uncomfortable.
As I pushed more of my erection into her Toon ass, I quickly became aware of just how bad an idea this may have been. Betty’s pussy was tight, but her ass was like forcing my dick into a vice! It almost hurt as her ass clung to more and more of my shaft!
Eventually though, I bottomed out in her bottom, my hips pressed against her pillowy ass while Betty whimpered under me. Out of sympathy, I reached out and gently stroked the side of her face. “There, there. I’m in now. Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” she whimpered, “just not used to something like this. By Walt this feels so weird.”
I gave her ass a firm slap, causing her to let out a gasp. I then started pulling back just as slowly as I entered, both for her sake and mine, until only the head was left before pushing back in. With every slow thrust I felt her asshole loosen up just a bit, allowing me to go slightly faster each time, eventually managing a decent pace as I fucked her.
My hips caused her ass to quake with every impact, a loud slapping noise coming each time. Honestly, it was rather hypnotic to watch. Like looking at water ripples when you throw in a stone. Betty meanwhile was completely out of it, drooling on the bed while babbling randomly.
“Oh yes Anon! More! It feels so good now! Give me your cum! Mark me! Make me your woman!”
I reached down and grabbed her by the chest, pulling her upward until my head was over her shoulder. Without any urging, she pressed her lips to mine, her hands rested on top of mine and encouraging me to rub on her flat, though apparently quite sensitive, chest.
I couldn’t take it anymore by that point. With one more strong thrust, I came into Betty’s ass, firing countless bursts of semen into what I assume was her colon. The sensation of me cuming in her was enough to trigger Betty’s own orgasm, the two of us screaming into each other’s mouths as we rode that high. As it passed, I slowly lowered us onto the cleanest area of the bed I could find, pulled out of Betty’s asshole, and collapsed next to her, trying to catch my breath.
Eventually I felt a bit of weight on top of me. Looking down, I saw Betty snuggled up on my chest, moaning slightly as she nuzzled me.
“Anon…” she muttered as I wrapped my arms around her, “thank you.”
I smiled as I hugged the smaller woman to me, starting to feel exhaustion pushing my eyes shut. “Anytime Betty.”
The last thing I heard before falling asleep was that giggle of her’s, and a light whisper. “I might just take you up on that.”
------
“Scandal hits Toon Town as one of Hana Barbera’s premier couples split,” I read from the paper.
A few days had passed since my case with Betty had concluded. For a long while I’d thought things would’ve just remained the same between the Rubbles. Staying together due to appearances certainly wasn’t the oddest thing in the world for celebrity couples, even among Toons. Donald and Daisy Duck are lucky to be seen in the same city block outside of filming but they’re still married.
Jessica, clad in her secretary outfit, yanked the paper out of my hands and sat on my desk, stretching herself out so that her long legs were on display. “The once happy couple and icons of Television Toons had what was apparently a rather amicable divorce, citing differences that could not be reconciled in any way. When asked if this would affect any new potential Flintstones cartons or movies, the two replied that they’d be more than happy to continue their roles and do not expect this to change their working relationship.”
“Man,” I muttered as I stroked Jessica’s smooth legs, “wish all of my adultery cases ended like that. Honestly feels kind of good.”
“Hmm.” Jessica muttered as she took my hands off her legs. “Too bad you still annoyed SOMEBODY I could mention.”
“Oh come on Jess! I’m sorry about the mess we made on your bed, but it was a heat of the moment kind of thing!”
Jessica flicked me on the nose for that before giving me a harsh look. “I’m not upset about the bed Anon. Fleischer knows I’ve made enough messes on my own from time to time. I’m upset because you fucked Betty’s brains out and didn’t invite me!”
“Well it’s not like I planned to do that either! You know darn well how I get when Toon women need comforting!”
Jessica just let out a small “hmph” before turning back to the newspaper. “It doesn’t say anything about Barney’s affair. Think Betty left that out?”
“Most likely. Something like that would probably have tainted the show pretty badly. They hired me to keep things low after all.”
Jessica just looked thoughtful as she pondered something. Eventually she turned to me with a smile. “So then, I think I know how to punish you for leaving me out.
“Fine, fine.” I muttered, just wanting this whole thing to be over with. “What is it?”
Jessica’s smile grew wider. “I want to have my own one on one time with someone, and just like you had with Betty, you can’t be involved outside of cleanup.”
“Alright, I think I could help arrange something. Who did you have in mind?”
Jessica then leaned over my desk, exposing a frankly wonderful mount of cleavage. “I’m rather partial to redheads…”
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I gotta admit, these stories are kinda fun to write. The crossover potential is nothing short of amazing!
Still, hope this was worth the wait. Not sure what’s next. Depemds on where inspiration takes me. I actually have an idea for a bit of a sidestory to this fic detailing Jessica’s life and story. Could have some potential.
Till then, remember to leave those reviews folks.
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Anon E. Mus Private Eye