Adult-FanFiction.org : Cartoons

Virgin on the Edge of Extinction	By : AnonyMPC Category: +G through L > Gravity Falls Views: 7644 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravity Falls, nor the characters from it, Disney does. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
*-*
DISPLAY: Club 33 logo

VOICE-OVER: Now, back to a Club 33 exclusive episode of "Gravity Falls!"
*-*
"Can you believe it, Dipper? A real live unicorn! It's like somebody's been reading my secret wishbook! I mean, the clean half." Mabel was so excited she was practically vibrating and her eyes got super-dilated that way they did when they saw something cute.
"It's not the weirdest thing we've seen. It is smaller than I would have expected, though." It looked a lot like a horse, with a horn of course, but not a full-sized one. It was more like the size of a really big dog. Dipper figured he and Mabel could probably ride it like a horse, but an adult would look silly on it. The animal bent down to nibble on another mushroom. "Hey, didn't Grunkle Stan say those mushrooms were for pest control?"
Mabel gasped. "Oh, no, you're right!" She shouted. "Hey, unicorn! Don't eat those! It'll make you puke!" It didn't respond... it didn't even look up at her. "I think it's deaf. It didn't look up when I called you, either." She boldly ran up towards it.
"Mabel, don't... it might hurt you!" Dipper raced to follow his sister and pull her back, but by the time he was close enough, she was already straining to drag the beast back from the mushrooms. It didn't fight so much as jostle a little, but that was enough to send her bag of cheese snacks (turned out it was the Cheesy Sluts), flying everywhere, and Dipper gave up on stopping Mabel and tried to help push the unicorn away from the poison. Between the two of them, they managed to maneuver it away from the patch of mushrooms, but it kept trying to walk around them to get at them again, so they had to keep darting in front of it.
This dance lasted until the unicorn's eyes fell on one of the fallen cheese cocks. It bent its head down and munched, and then perked up immediately, ears twisting as it looked for another. "I guess it likes them," Mabel said. "Here, boy, you want another one?" She retrieved the bag from the mushrooms and dangled it out of reach. "Dipper, gather them up and I'll keep him busy."
He gave her a thumbs up, and started pulling the fungi out of the ground. There was cheese dust all over them, but he didn't think Stan would mind, it would probably attract the pests even more. Once he had put them all into the zip-lock bags their Grunkle provided, he got a V-shaped cheese bit off the ground and went to inspect the unicorn. It really was a magnificent beast, white fur, a long mane, and of course, the horn, like a piece of polished stone jutting out from its head and gleaming. He held out the cheesy vagina in his hand and said, "You want it? You want the cheesy girlparts? Come and get it!"
The unicorn turned his way eagerly to snatch up the snack, and then licked his hand. "You sure are a friendly little guy..." Dipper said. "Are we sure it's a guy?" Mabel nodded firmly, like she had seen something that had removed all doubt. He decided he'd take her word on that.
At that moment, the unicorn bowed its head and, ever so gently, touched it's horn to Dipper's knee, the one that he skinned in the fall. Immediately, a warmth filled him and a light surrounded his body. When it passed, the wound was gone, as was the growing bruise on his elbow. In fact, Dipper felt no pain, anywhere. He patted himself all over just to be sure.
"What happened?" Mabel was now fending off the unicorn's tongue, searching for more cheese snacks.
"I think it fixed my bruises." There was a page in his book '3', which catalogued some mysterious person's experiences with the supernatural mysteries of Gravity Falls, that mentioned unicorns, but he hadn't read that part in detail yet. But he did remember one fact from even before he got the book. "There've always been legends saying unicorn horns had healing properties."
"Well," Mabel said, laughing softly as the tongue licked her fingers. "It's certainly curing my Orange Plague!" She pulled another cheese thing from the bag. "Dipper, we've got to take him back to the Shack!"
"I don't know if that's a good idea. And you already have a pig. Not to mention a cat back home. And do we still have that lobster?"
"But it's a unicorn! It's every girl's dream!"
Every girl... like Wendy, maybe? He did like the idea of using it to impress her. What other guy would show her a unicorn? But no, he still thought it was a bad idea. "It's still a wild animal, Mabel. It lives in the forest."
"But what if it follows us home?"
"If it follows us home, that's different."
***
Mabel was leaning over the back of the golf cart, dropping cheese snacks, but braced herself as Dipper pulled up against the cut log that marked off the little rut where they usually parked and they stopped suddenly. "This wasn't quite what I had in mind, you know," he said.
She could hear the exasperation in his voice, but she also knew that most of it was for show. Dipper always liked to pretend to be so grown up, and that he was above her silliness, but he could be just as bad at times. Sometimes she thought he liked her to be extra goofy so that he'd have an excuse to play along... whether it was true or not, she often tried just that. "He followed us, didn't he?" She grinned widely. "Okay, Randy!" That was what Mabel had named the unicorn on the way home, even though it didn't seem like he could hear it. But for all his pretend misgivings, Mabel figured Dipper was glad she got the beast to come along. He was always trying to prove to people about the magical stuff in the woods and about town, and this was a sure way to do it.
As they circled around to the front entrance, they saw Wendy... and Mabel practically felt her brother's attention completely flee her and focus on the tall, lanky teenager, wearing her usual green flannel shirt, jeans, and hat over her long red hair... hair that Mabel realized was wet only after Dipper deflated in disappointment. It was obvious what had brought him down... he'd missed the shower, and probably a chance to peek at Wendy in a towel. Boys were so predictable. "Oh, hey guys," Wendy said when she spotted them. "Where have you been all day?"
Before Dipper could answer, Mabel shouted out, "Look Wendy, come check out my unicorn!"
Wendy looked around, in all directions, and, in a surprisingly hopeful tone, asked, "What, where?"
"Here," Mabel said. Wendy looked at her, squinting in confusion, but her gaze didn't seem to fall on Randy himself.
"Can't you see it?" Dipper asked, concerned. He put his hand on Randy's head and stroked it. "It's right here."
Wendy let out an exaggerated, "Ohhhh," and then said, insincerity dripping from every word, "Sure, I totally see it now. It's really beautiful." She then winked conspiratorially in the direction of twins, but mostly Dipper... like Mabel was just being silly again and Wendy and Dipper were playing along.
A distant honk got Wendy's attention, and she jerked her head. There was Robbie's purple van, with the letter "V" spray-painted on the side. "Later dudes!" she said, and then called in towards the Mystery Shack. "Mr. Pines, I'm out!"
Without waiting for a reply from either front, she got into the side of the car. Her boyfriend Robbie, a pimply-faced teen with greasy black hair, leaned out his window and glared at Dipper, but then his face turned into a picture of confusion as he looked directly at the unicorn and kept looking even while he started to drive the van away.
Their Grunkle Stan came out of the Mystery Shack, then, wearing his business wear... a black suit and red-purple Fez, and an eye patch, although he currently wore it flipped up... he could see out of both of his eyes anyway, so it was all for show. Following Stan was Soos, the overweight handymanchild, with a friendly smile on his face. He was happier than usual, practically beaming, in fact. "Was that Wendy? I didn't say she could go yet," Stan grumbled.
"I think that ship has sailed," Soos said.
Grunkle Stan grunted. "Stupid cunt..." At that moment, he spotted Mabel and Dipper, and finished, with an exaggerated laugh, "Country Bumpkin. Stupid country bumpkin. Hey, there you kids are. Did you get my mushrooms?"
Neither of the two men seemed to be at all surprised by the unicorn cowering behind the twins. Or even to notice. The twins eyed each other for a moment, and then Dipper said, "Yeah, here." He handed the bag over, and then couldn't resist asking, "Do you... notice anything unusual?"
Stan squinted into the baggie, and then said, "Yeah, what's this orange stuff?"
Mabel piped up. "It's cheese dust!" Weird... they couldn't see the unicorn either for some reason. Or maybe they'd seen thousands of unicorns. Maybe unicorns were like cockroaches here.
Grunkle Stan stared at her for a moment, and then shrugged resignedly and put the mushrooms in his pocket. "I can work with that. Good job, kids. Now you can sweep the floors. Soos and I have to go out for a while, so you kids are on your own. Don't let any strangers in... at least not without paying." He and Soos made their way over to Soos' pickup truck, Stan riding in the passenger seat.
***
A little later, Dipper ran outside with the book "3" in his hands. Mabel was feeding Randy with more cheese snacks. She had put one of her pet pig Waddles' collars around his neck and tied the unicorn to a post, but he didn't seem like he was even trying to get away. "Here's the book," Dipper said, waving the book. "Let's see what it says about unicorns." He sat down beside her. "Maybe we can find out why only we can see him." Mabel peeked over his shoulder while Dipper flipped through the pages, searching back and forth a few times until he found it. "Here it is. 'I still have never seen a unicorn, but I've met and touched one. The reliable children that first told me they existed around Gravity Falls have finally introduced me to one, and it's clear that all my earlier hunting was for nothing. The Ancient legends say that unicorns were creatures of purity and grace, and they could only be captured by a virgin." He stumbled over the word... it felt vaguely dirty... but then continued, "Those legends are only partly true... I've now confirmed my earlier theory... only virgins catch unicorns because only virgins can see the creatures. Unicorns will often attach themselves to friendly maidens, becoming their companions as long as they keep their cherry. The creature didn't like me at first, they dislike even being around non-virgins, but with someone they trust around they can overcome those instincts. As much as I liked the animal, I decided it was best to convince the girl to let me help her scare him off, so that the vast magical power of the unicorns would continue to be kept out of the hands of the corrupt."
Mabel's mouth hung open. "So I guess that means Wendy's..."
Dipper's mouth made a curly frown as his heart sank. "Yeah, that's discouraging."
"I think Robbie saw it." Dipper nodded... he'd noticed that too. It was something. "He probably won't see it for, though."
"What, what do you mean?"
"She's gone out with him before right after work... but THIS time she wanted to be sure to take a shower right before she left. I bet they're going to do it tonight. Boom-chicka-wow-wow."
That got Dipper's thoughts racing. It didn't necessarily mean that... what did Mabel know, anyway? She was just guessing. Probably. Maybe Wendy just worked up quite a sweat... from sitting around at the cash register all day. But then maybe Mabel did know something, maybe Wendy said something. He was about to ask, but when he looked over at Mabel, she was smiling widely, so wide you could see her braces. It distracted him for a moment. "What?"
"I just realized... I guess that means you're a virgin."
He blushed and looked away. "What, you had some doubt?"
She shrugged. "I thought you might be, but I also know... you could have almost any girl you wanted if you didn't keep going after the impossible ones." The smile faded. "You're cuter for a boy than I am for a girl."
His heart broke a little as he sensed, more than saw, that Mabel was feeling bad about herself again. All thoughts of Wendy fled, temporarily. "Don't say that, Mabel," he said, putting an arm around her shoulder and hugging her close to him. "You're very beautiful." He wasn't lying, either... sure, her face still had a little baby fat on it, and her cheeks had a perpetual rosy glow, like she was constantly blushing, but he thought she looked good. And he wasn't the only one who'd been attracted to her. "Gideon thought so."
She made a face. "Ugh, don't mention that little creep."
"Then I guess I probably shouldn't mention the gnomes, either. They wanted to make you their queen."
"Great, so only weirdoes like me."
"And Mermando."
"Who can't even be with me." She'd told him a while back that, although they'd considered a long-distance relationship, they decided to just be friends and penpals. "I've only ever had one kiss." Mabel sighed a little, and kicked at the ground absently. "Because I'm such a dork. Sometimes I think everybody's had sex but me."
"You're just being paranoid, Mabel. You're not alone, either, there's me, and I bet there are plenty of others our age, too." He grinned, pointed at the unicorn, and added, "And look, now you've got an easy way to find out."
Her eyes widened, and the grin returned. "I do, don't I?"
***
Gideon Gleeful strolled confidently along the sidewalk like he was king of the town... which, he practically was. Everywhere he walked in his blue suit, people noticed him, and even if he wasn't a celebrity faith healer, they would have thought he was an adorable little boy. Every few feet he'd stop to say hello to somebody in his southern accent. Oh, he hated most of them, but he'd still turn on the charm, look cute, and smile. Who knew when he'd need something from them?
Right up ahead, stopping for a meal at a hot dog stand, was the rotund sheriff and his mentally-challenged deputy/boytoy, a perfect example. He loathed talking to them, but when his plans came to fruition he might need them, so he smiled widely and said, "Why, hello there, officers! And how are you this fine afternoon?"
"Just fine, Gideon," said Sherriff Blubs. "Justice never sleeps, but it sure does get hungry now and then!" he let loose a hearty chuckle.
"I can imagine," Gideon said, joining in with a laugh of his own. "Keeping the town safe from the criminal element must work up quite a powerful appetite!"

"Nothing satisfies my appetite like a thick, juicy sausage," Deputy Durland said, holding up his meal. "Gets me salivating just thinking of it."
"I prefer the little wieners, myself," Blubs said. "Leaves you more room to play around in the buns and add lots of goo." He squirted some more mustard into his already overloaded bun.
"You gentlemen are making me crave some hot meat," Gideon said. "I don't know whether I'm more interested in chowing down on a thick sausage or gobbling up a gooey wiener. I suppose either would do when you want it as bad as I do. Do you think either of you big strong men might be able to help me out?" He turned on the charm, buffing up his cheeks and making his eyes go wide. He could afford the food on his own, that wasn't the point, the point was getting people to do things.
"I don't know," Sherriff Blubs said. "I'm sure you'll be expected home for dinner any time now, and your father might be angry if we filled you up..."
"I'm sure my father wouldn't mind at all." Because Gideon's father knew what side his bread was buttered on, and did whatever he was told. "And nobody else has to know... I can keep a secret. Why, my lips form a tight seal when I put my mind to..." he trailed off mid-sentence as something quite remarkable caught his eye.
It was his ex-girlfriend, Mabel... lately he'd taken to ignoring her, like when she was at the pool flirting with that illegal immigrant boy... pretending he couldn't be bothered with her, that she meant less to him than a gnat, drove her crazy, he knew... that's why she acted like a brazen hussy with the other boy, to make Gideon jealous. He refused to play that game. But what he saw now, he couldn't ignore. Mabel wasn't walking down the street, she was floating, bobbing up and down, just a foot and a half at most in the air, but still, quite impossible... unless you had an amulet like Gideon himself had recently lost, at her hands.
"Would you look at that!" Blubs said, finally noticing it himself. "She must have one of those new invisible scooters."
"She has an amulet. It must be that..."
"Really? I need to get me one of those Am-u-let scooters for my nephew," Deputy Durland said.
Invisible scooters. The stupidity of the townspeople never ceased to amaze him. "Officers, could you do me the teensiest favor and arrest that girl and bring her to me?"
"On what charge?" Blubs asked.
Gideon put on his cute look again. "Why, stealing my heart, of course..."
"Awww," the two men said together, and then Blubs continued, "We'll go have a talk with her and see if she wants to go on a little date."
Gideon raised a hand to stop them. "No, on second thought... I should handle this myself." They would only alert Mabel that he was coming. He needed to be fast and snatch the amulet when she wasn't looking... and then, power would be his once again. But that didn't mean he couldn't use a little extra help. "But thank you so much for the stimulating conversation!" With that, he threw his arms around first the Sherriff. The man was taken a little aback, but nobody resists a hug from a kid, and when that kid is Lil' Gideon, it's positively a pleasure. "Let me just give you both a goodbye hug," he said, and then turned and embraced the deputy.
His own pleasure came from when, hugging the deputy, he reached around and felt for a lump in his pants. Yes, that would do nicely. And he managed to get it off without either of the officers noticing.
Gideon waved as he started backing away, and, when they finally turned, examined the tazer for a moment and pressed the button. A blue-white arc of electricity danced between the two prongs and he grinned, imagining the effect on another human being, as he put it in the inside pocket of his vest, and then started running down the street in the direction Mabel had flown.
***
"You wouldn't believe how worried I was that I wasn't going to win Employee of the Month this time. I mean, now that we've got the twins working there. They do a lot you know."
"Uh-huh," Stan said, staring out in the window and not really listening to his employee babbling on. He liked Soos, but man, could it be annoying listening to the kid for a long period of time.
"And they're your family! But still you decided to give Employee of the Month to me. I guess I just wanted to say that I'm really honored, Mr. Pines." He sniffled and seemed to wipe away a little tear.
The whole spectacle made Stan uncomfortable. He slid his eyes away. "Yeah, yeah, you earned it. Now we just need those fucking kids to show up and we can go celebrate."
Soos was blissfully quiet for a while, and then finally burst out. "Okay, I've just got to say. What we're doing? It's weird is all, okay? It doesn't compute. Listen, if you've gone crazy or something...I mean, if you've...if you've gone crazy or depressed, I'm just saying...that's something I need to know about. Okay? I mean, that affects me."
He raised an eyebrow, so high it rode up onto his Fez, and looked back at Soos. "What the hell are you talking about? Is this about the mushrooms? I told you, if cops don't know about it, it can't be an illegal drug. I've done it before, I just never brought you along."
"That's my point, you never bring me along for stuff like this. And to the club, later? It just blows my mind. I've been Employee of the Month plenty of times, and all I've ever gotten is my picture on the wall and an extra 10% off one item in the gift shop. You've never taken me out to celebrate, much less to your private place. So, I gotta know. Are you... dying, Mr. P? Is that why you're... breaking nice?"
"I'm not dying, Soos. No more than anybody else. I just... really appreciate your help, even if I don't always show it." Saying that made his tongue want to jump out of his mouth, and gave him the urge to insult him to make up for it. But, stanfully, he held back. He needed Soos, at least tonight.
"Thank you, Mr. Pines. I really appreciate you too."
Thank god, he didn't have to deal with answering that, or even an uncomfortable silence, because just then, a blue van pulled into the lot. He recognized it, and climbed out of Soos' truck, putting on his angry face and tapping his feet. The car came to a stop right in front of him. "You kids are fucking late."
The driver, the chubby white kid they called Thompson stayed in the car, but the other three got out. There was Lee, tall, blonde, with long limbs and face, Nate, with darker skin and tattoos, and the girl, Tambry, also with dark skin and purple hair, who rarely looked up from her phone. Lee spoke, "Why, you got somewhere to be, old man?"
"As a matter of fact, yes. I promised Soos here I'd take him to the Moe Bius Strip Club. I was going to get him a lap dance. But thanks to you, by the time we get there, all the best strippers will be taken."
"It's your own fault, dude, we could have just done this at your place."
He grabbed the little pipsqueak by the shirt and pulled him close to growl in his face. "I told you, not while the kids are visiting." They were family, and Stanford Pines might break every moral rule in the book, but he tried to look out for family. He didn't want them seeing him sell drugs. Gathering drugs for him, that was different, kids were stupid, they bought his story about pest control. He let go of the shirt and pushed the kid away. "Besides, last time you bought some at the shack, Wendy was trippin' balls for her whole shift."
Soos chortled. "Balls."
"Whatever, man... just hand over the 'shrooms."
"Money first." Lee handed over some cash, and Stan counted it. He always counted it before handing over anything. As he did, he spotted the brown-skinned girl, she'd turned away from him and was composing a text, bent over the hood of the car slightly. Her ass swayed pleasingly from side to side in her dark purple skirt which left her legs bare. "Not good enough."
Lee was outraged. "What?"
"That's total bullshit, man."
He put the money in his pocket and waved the baggie in the white kid's face. "This isn't just shitake this time."
"This time?"
"I mean it's not the usual shit... you... take. This is new premium product. These orange bits are high-grade gavina crystals. Much more expensive for a much smoother high. You gotta pay extra."
Lee rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "How much extra?"
"Double."
He put his hands up, palms towards Stan and frowned. "No way, dude."
"Then walk away, and I'll just take this for my time." He patted his pocket. No way was he giving that up, it would pay for drinks and bribes and, as a last resort, Soos' lap dance.
The girl finally spoke up. "But I already texted everybody and said we got it..."
Stan grinned. "Well, we could reach an... arrangement."
"What kind of arrangement?" Nate asked.
"I'll give it to you for what you paid. But, the girl's gotta satisfy me and my friend here. I've always had a weakness for brown meat."
"You don't have to do that Tambry," the fat kid driving said. "Come on, we can just go. We don't need drugs to have a good time."
"Yeah, right," Stan said and barked out a laugh. "Good one, kid." Maybe he was one of those rare genuinely good kids, who liked to read in their rooms and shut up and not annoy him, but he was hanging out with the rest of these kids who could have fun unless they were breaking the rules. And what was 'not selling yourself for drugs' besides just another rule.
Stan could see the girl considering it and he sidled up beside her so she could smell his musky old-man scent. She let loose a little sigh of disgust... pretend disgust, he assumed. Girls always pretended they didn't want it, but often he turned them around. "You're going to a strip club, can't you just get your rocks off there?" she asked.
"Why spend money when you don't have to? Besides, Moe Bius' Strip Club has one rule. There's no action on the backside." He grabbed her rear end and squeezed. Yes, she didn't look like it, but she had a nice fat ass. "And my philosophy is, the best brown meat is in the cans." He squeezed again.
"It's up to you Tambry," Lee said.
"But I really want to see what the gravina crystals are like," Nate pointed out.
"Don't do it Tambry," Thompson urged. "Have some self-respect."
"I had self-respect once, believe me, you'll never miss it. Besides, who needs dignity when you can escape reality?" He waggled his eyebrows and held up the baggie again. "Right?"
Tambry sighed again. "Well I've done worse for less," she admitted. "Just the ass though?"
"And Soos gets the mouth." He hit the hood of the truck. "Come on out here, Soos."
As Soos nervously slid out from the front seat, Stan walked the girl behind the truck. She was still typing something into her phone, like there was nothing unusual going on. It was almost like she was a living doll that he could place where-ever he wanted. But he didn't need her to be anything more than that. Most girls talked too much anyway.
"I don't know, Mr. Pines. Isn't she's kind of underage?"
Stan pulled up the girl's skirt. She wasn't wearing the tights or stockings she sometimes did, her legs were beautifully bare... for a second he thought she wasn't wearing any panties, either, but no, she just had a thong. He pulled it aside, spread her cheeks, and took a look at her pussy and asshole. "You know what they say, if there's grass on the field, play ball." Except, it turned out, she was completely shaved down there. Stan leaned forward, rubbing his huge, bumpy red nose in between her buttocks, and inhaled deeply. He couldn't smell much of anything, that's what being old does to you, but it felt good nonetheless. "And if not, you can always play in the mud." He rubbed a finger there at the asshole and watched it spread open, like a tiny little mouth hungry for him, so looked up at his employee. "Come on Soos, don't be such a baby, it'll be a team-building experience." Soos still stared, but didn't get any closer. He just shook his head rapidly. The guy was like a little kid in some ways. "Suit yourself, but I'm doing this with or without you." He undid his belt and dropped his pants , revealing the green striped boxers he had beneath. There was a little flap in them and he worked his dick out through it, rather than pulling them down.
He didn't have anything to be ashamed of in the cock department, at least with respect to size. He was well-above average. Hardness... well, that wasn't easy these days, but there were wonderful pills, and he'd taken one knowing he was going to the club today, so he didn't have to stuff it in loose like an old sock in a hole and hope it got hard and unwound on the inside. With the action of the pills, combined with the flap in his boxers, which worked a little like a cock ring, helping keep it inflated, he had about the firmness of a good polish sausage. But that was all he needed to get in, and once in, he hoped her tight tukhus would keep him rigid. The deep red bulbous head nudged up on Tambry's hole, and then went in.
***
Candy Chiu normally avoided certain parts of Gravity Falls, at least when she was alone. This was because she was bullied, a lot, by other kids. Whether it was because of her Korean accent, her glasses, or her height, many of the popular girls saw her as an easy target. With her deep-voiced friend Grenda around, she had no fear, but Grenda couldn't be there all the time.
This was one of those times. She didn't want anybody to know that she spied on the crazy old man who lived at the dump and created strange inventions. She started it after briefly inhabiting his body, but then saw him working on something and kept coming back to peek at it. Since then, she had learned so much, just watching. But she wasn't technically allowed to go to the junkyard, and Grenda had the unfortunate tendency of blabbing, so she made the visits all alone, imagining herself like a secret agent spying on an enemy project.
Today, she'd promised to meet Grenda at the library, but spent too much time watching the old man, and consequently she was late. Of course, Grenda would forgive her, but that wasn't the point... Candy hated to be late. An improved human being would have an internal clock and never be late. She had once tried taping a clock display to her glasses to approximate this improvement, but the stupid Sherriff's deputy thought it looked like a bomb, kept her detained for three hours, and then confiscated it. She was still angry at the memory of it... when she built her bomb, it would run on something far more powerful than a calculator battery, and it would not even look suspicious!
But a bomb would not help her current problem, needing to make up time. So, instead of taking detours through the woods or less populated streets, Candy decided to risk it and cut through Circle Park. There were a few kids there, but she managed to run through relatively unnoticed... until she got to the other end of the park, where, when circling a large slide, she didn't look where she was going, bumped into somebody and fell down on her butt. Her glasses flew off her face and onto the ground, but she could hear roughly where they landed, and she groped around in that direction.
Her fingers froze when she heard somebody the person she'd hit saying, "What the...?" She knew that voice, all too well. It was Pacifica Northwest, the rich bitch of her age group. "Oh, it's you. I guess you couldn't see me with your little Chinese eyes."
"I am Korean," Candy said. She'd said that dozens of times, and Pacifica never remembered, but that didn't stop her from making the point. She wasn't ashamed of her culture. She was a little ashamed of her accent... she could never quite manage to sound like other people did... she knew a lot of English words, and her grammar was pretty good, but her speaking pace was off and she kept putting stresses on the wrong places, always marking her out as an outsider. Candy's fingers finally closed on her glasses and she put them on, then looked up at Pacifica, who was still standing and now towering over her. The blonde was made up like a twelve-year-old version of a cheap American whore, puffy long blonde hair, purple eye shadow, huge lavender hoop earrings and a matching dress over black leggings with a purple jacket on top. Perhaps whore was unfair, but it was more stylish than the striped shirt Candy had chosen as her default outfit.
Behind Pacifica was her two friends, the black girl wearing red and the white girl with magenta hair in a blue dress. She realized instantly what they were doing at the park, the black girl had a cigarette in her hand. Smoking, what shame they must bring their families.
She was going to bring this up, but Pacifica spoke first. "Where's your lesbian friend? Did you two break up?"
"Grenda is not lesbian," Candy said, not that it would matter to her. A better human being would not care about gender, they would fall in love with the people. But kids could be cruel about such things, so she felt the need to defend Grenda from that. She was teased enough as it is for being large and having such a deep voice.
"Oh, then it's just you?"
"No it is not!" Candy said.
"So it's not just you it must be both of you."
"No!"
Pacifica sighed theatrically. "You're being contradictory. It's probably the language barrier. Let me ask you this simple question then... yes or no, have you stopped licking each other's cunts?"
Candy had to think a second to answer that. English was so tricky sometimes. "No never!" Because they had never started, but her tongue was tied trying to figure out how to phrase that. If they were having the argument in Korean she'd run rings around them.
"Right, so you guys are lesbians. Or you're bi, is that it? Are you bi? There's no shame in being bi, it's probably the closest you're going to come to being trendy."
Was she bi? She wasn't really sure. She knew she liked boys... sometimes she touched herself in bed while reading Cool Dudes magazine, and Mabel's brother Dipper made her stomach flutter. But then, sometimes she got strange feelings around Mabel herself. She didn't want to answer that question yet, and certainly not to Pacifica. "I will go now." She tried to push past them.
Pacifica put one hand on her shoulder and pushed her back a few steps, then snapped her fingers. Instantly, her two drones moved to Candy's side and held her by the arms. "Not so fast." She pointed down. "When you bumped into me, you got dirt on my boots. These are worth than your whole outfit. So get on your knees and clean them off."
She didn't have any choice about getting on her knees. Pacifica's friends pushed down hard on her shoulders and forced her there. She stared at the boots, brown with a furry rim. She didn't even see any dirt on them. Maybe if she just brushed them. "What's taking so long, girl?" said Pacifica's black friend. "Didn't you hear her?"
"I know what it is," said the other friend. "She's all excited being this close to Pacifica's pussy."
Pacifica's eyes practically lit up for a moment, and then she narrowed them at her with an evil grin. "Oh, is that it? Am I tempting you? Girls, does it make me bi if I let her lick me like a lesbian does?"
Both responded with a "No." The white one seemed a little to put a little more feeling in it.
Pacifica pulled her skirt up... she wasn't being indecent, the black tights she wore still covered everything. "My parents do always say I should do more charity work. But I don't know if I should. Maybe I'll just let you lick my tights, right here..." She pointed right where her legs met, and pulled the fabric back with two fingers... making it clear to Candy she wasn't wearing anything underneath. Pacifica then eyed her friends. "Make sure nobody sees, I don't want people thinking she's cool."
The black girl looked away, the other girl watched, and both kept holding her in place as Pacifica bowleggedly closed the gap between them. "No," Candy tried to say. "I don't want to," but before she got halfway through, the fabric was in her mouth, and beyond it, she could feel the soft, yielding flesh between her legs. The whole sensation reminded her strongly of sweat, like when Candy would sometimes pull off her own sock and smell it, only she was also smelling it on her tongue. That was more unpleasant than the shame and humiliation of the act itself, or the hand firmly on the back of her head forcing her there.
Yet, even with the smell, there was something powerful there, intoxicating. So Candy decided to follow the old saying, "떡 본 김에 제사 지낸다." Or, "If you see the rice cake, you might as well perform the ancestral rites." So, she started moving her tongue around, and rubbing her tiny upturned nose, which felt like it fit right in the little gap in the middle of the slit, up and down and side to side. She had never played lesbian before, but she understood the theory... why not take it as an opportunity to learn by practical example?
And she was learning. At first Pacifica was laughing cruelly at what she was forcing Candy to do, but when Candy starting licking, even through the fabric, she got quiet, except for her breathing, which got louder, more intense. She could feel Candy's tongue and nose, even through the fabric, and Candy, in turn, could feel the thighs quivering against her.
"I'm going to give you a treat," Pacifica finally said, her voice shaking almost as much as her legs. "Let you taste a real high class pussy. Not like Grenda's stank." And just like that, Pacifica pulled down the tights and revealed her most private of places, her boji. With no tights in the way, Candy could see the boji was red and puffy, no hair, but with dark specks that suggested she shaved, and that she was not a natural blonde. "Go on, lick." And her head was forced towards it again.
But Candy understood... they thought they were humiliating her, forcing her to lower herself before them, but Pacifica had not intended to do this... Candy has made her. She was the one with the real power, to make Pacifica forget herself and reveal her true nature. Next to that, what they did to her was nothing. Any thug could use force to control somebody. A genius used pleasure.
So, she dove right in, sending her tongue inside Pacifica's hole as far as she could, like it was a piece of food she wanted to extract all the flavor out of. And the flavor was much improved, better than the tights, the sweat flavor was less intense and instead there was something reminiscent of fish, but not unpleasantly so. She heard a whimper of pleasure from Pacifica and smiled inwardly to herself. One day she could use this, bring Pacifica to the brink, and then suddenly withdraw, deny her the ultimate pleasure, or force her to beg for it. "Get out your phone," Pacifica said. "We're going to throw this little lesbian a little coming out party, and I can think of the perfect picture for the invitations..." Uh-oh, that presented a problem. It could shift the power back in their favor. "Of course, maybe we'll keep he picture to ourselves, as long as she's willing to show her appreciation whenever we want..."
"I like how you think, Pacifica!" said her white friend.
That wasn't in Candy's plans... blackmail would mean being forever under their power. She stopped licking and tried to pull back, but her head was held fast. She couldn't see it, but she knew any second the picture would be there on the phone, showing her mouth glued to a boji and only her face in the shot.
"What the..."
"Go, Randy, go!" The excited voice was familiar, but it was only when the hands holding her loosened that she was able to scramble away and stand up and see what they were staring at it. It was Mabel, and she was riding a tiny horse... no, the horse had a single horn on the front of its head. Together, they were prancing around the park excitedly. Pacifica's friends had their cameras out, but now it was pointed towards Mabel.
"It must be some kind of loser magic trick," Pacifica said.
Candy took the opportunity to run out to the center of the park, where she couldn't be grabbed and forced to do unspeakable acts, but mostly, so she could see the fabulous beast. It had to be a unicorn... not quite as amazing as the Korean haetae, which had a lion's head, but still quite beautiful.
Mabel slowed by pulling the unicorn's mane back, then stopped, and climbed off the creature. "Hi, Candy... notice anything... unusual?"
"You have a... unicorn?"
"Oh, this old thing?" Mabel said, rolling her eyes like it was no big deal. "This is just Randy, my new friend." There was a small crowd of kids around, even a few teenagers. "Everybody who sees a unicorn, raise your hands!"
Candy couldn't help but look around, and most of the kids in the park had one hand up. Mabel also looked around, but she seemed to be taking special note of who did and who did not raise their hand, and seemed very satisfied with herself.
Pacifica and her friends pushed past a few kids. She was angry, so angry her eyebrows were like thick black lines. "What are you morons talking about! There's no unicorn." Her black friend also seemed to be looking around, as though expecting to find one. Her white friend had her eyes locked on Randy. She thought earlier that only some people were admitting to it, but now Candy wondered... did some people really not see it?
"Oh, Pacifica," Mabel said. "You are such a total slut."
Pacifica's eyes opened as far as they could possibly go. "What?"
"I'm sorry, have you been shoving penises up your ears, too? I guess they are probably the tightest part of you. Every other hole's probably like throwing a hot dog down a hallway, am I right? Wop!"
Candy saw then one of those things that might be almost as rare as a unicorn... Pacifica totally speechless. She was just standing there, shaking in rage. Of course she also knew that when she finally did lash out, it would be bad for anybody nearby. "We should go, now?" she asked Mabel hopefully, leaning in close.
"Sure." Mabel climbed back on Randy, and, to Candy's surprise and delight, offered her a hand to hop on too.
"Thank you."
Mabel giggled a little. "Your breath smells like fish. So, where's Grenda?"
Candy wrapped her arms around Mabel's waist, for support more than anything else, as she was unused to riding a horse, and then buried her face in her sweater to hide her blush at the comment about her breath. "I was going to meet her. She is at library."
Mabel pointed and shouted. "To the library, Randy!"
The beast didn't move. Mabel coughed, and dug her knees into its side, and it managed a slow trot, and then leaned forward and stretched out one arm to dangle some kind of bright orange snack in front of it, and that got the creature running.
Candy stuck her tongue out in Pacifica's direction as they passed.
After they were passed the crowd must have been mumbling about unicorns, because at the edge of the park, Pacifica's voice rang out, "THERE WAS NO FUCKING UNICORN!"
***
Stan had penetrated the brown girl slowly at first, and she didn't react except for a slight shift in position and a very faint grunt. It made a pretty tight fit, especially going in raw with no lube, but Tambry didn't seem to complain. He looked over at Soos who was still watching mutely, and then pushed down on Tambry's back. She started to lean on the truck, at least with one hand... the other and was still on her phone, typing out a message to somebody.
They'd been at it for a few minutes, and now she seemed absolutely bored. Bored! While he was fucking her ass. Kids today. "You better not be texting about me," he grumbled, and tried to pick up his pace to impress her.
After nearly a minute of intense thrusting that made his knees ache, he wiped his brow and had to slow down a bit. "Aren't you done yet?" She sighed and typed in something else.
Stan could just imagine the dispatcher, dressed in a tweed blazer, on the other end reading it, printed off a machine like one of those old paper stock tickers. "Internet Telegram from Tambry here," he'd shout, then clear his throat while waiting for everybody else to be quiet and listen as he relayed the message: "This old man fucking my ass is so slow. Stop. I wish he'd cum already. Stop. Doesn't he even know how to Tumblr my hashtag like all the kids today are doing? Stop." And then the entire room would retransmit the message to all her friends. And then they'd all be laughing at him.
"That's it. Time to pull out my special move." He pulled out of her entirely, and then, instead of fucking her through the hole in his boxer shorts, pushed his dick back through that gap and swung it back out over the top of the waistband. His ball sack dangled down like two oranges in a hairy, flesh-colored sock. He eased himself back into her asshole and began humping her again, much like he had when he'd started... a little slower, but at least he'd caught his breath again.
This time, though, there was a significant difference. Each inward thrust was accompanied, milliseconds later, the whiplash action of his ball sack. The scrotum rode up around the whole length of her crack, and his balls adding a little extra force right around her clit. Some girls complained it hurt, but then, the ones who did always came back for more, too.
"Uh, guys?" he heard, and looked up, thinking it was Soos, but it turned out it was just the fat kid in the driver's seat. "Guys, do you see that?"
But nobody else was looking, they were all watching Stan, except Tambry who had her eyes still glued on her phone... he was sure the bitch was playing a game with him now, that she was determined not to show any sign of pleasure, but he didn't need moans and groans or even a ecstatic expression, he knew the subtler signs, the change in breathing, the twitch in her fingers, and the reflexive clenching of her ass. She must have hit the wrong letter on her phone, or maybe she just used that as an excuse, because she grimaced and made some rapid corrections.
He laid one palm on her butt with force. "Come on, move that ass a little more, it'll get me off faster." But he only said it because he knew she needed the excuse, the way her legs were trembling, and the way his nut sack was getting progressively slicker from banging up against her wet pussy. She wanted to buck back against him, to surrender to the pleasure.
Now she did, but only after an exaggerated sigh, culminating in a puff of exhaled air that blew the pink-streaked lock out of her eyes. By the time it had resettled, she was bouncing back... and her butthole soon began to practically spasm. "Come on, girl, who's your daddy?" Her legs were getting weaker and she was leaning more and more on the truck, using both hands, including the one with the phone... she hadn't typed anything in it for a few seconds.
"Did anybody see that?" the fat kid asked again.
Yeah, Stan did, and he also saw the gasp as her composure broke, just for a second. That was enough to get his balls in gear, and the cum started its long journey up and out... it was always a slow build these days, not like when he was young, a gradually growing pressure followed by a sudden pop over the top as he began squirting into her ass. He didn't have the volume he used to have, and it was a lot waterier, like runny mayonnaise, but he knew he made an awful mess in there.
He pulled out and then grinned at Tambry expectantly, looking for some kind of validation, but she just stood up, rolled her eyes, and said, "Is that it?" Her eyes went back to the phone.
"Hey, I'd give you another ride right now, except... I'm not as young as I used to be..."
"Have you met anybody who was?" Soos interjected, breaking himself out of his funk. "I mean, think about it."
Stan shot a glare his way, and then finished, "But I still get the job done, right?" He slapped Tambry's ass, and she looked up from her phone for a moment and shrugged, and then pulled her skirt down and held her hand out. "Oh, right." He handed her the bag of mushrooms, and she walked away on unsteady legs. She might be pretending otherwise, but he was sure he got her off. "Stupid bitch," he muttered to himself, although it might as well have been to Soos who was nearby. "I'm glad she's not wearing those stockings, I hope my cum's running down her legs the rest of the day."
Soos looked a little embarrassed, like he didn't know exactly what he was supposed to say after watching his boss fuck a teenage girl in exchange for drugs. "So, are we going to the club now?"
"Sure thing." He pointed at the kids, who were piling back into the van, put on a big smile, and say, "Remember, if you've got money, your old pal Stan's door is always open." His smile faded in a flash. "Otherwise, stay the fuck out of the Mystery Shack."
They glared at him, except Thompson, who he could have sworn he heard saying, "I'm telling you guys, I totally saw two girls riding a tiny unicorn!" just before the door slammed shut, but he didn't care. He had a club to go to.
***
Pacifica was still quaking with rage. She was hurt, too, underneath that, but anger drove away hurt... or at least buried it beneath tons of a more empowering emotion. Hurt made you weak, but anger made you strong. So she nurtured her anger, complaining about the "sweater-wearing bitch" as she stalked out of the park and towards where her driver was waiting.
"Pacifica... an... unexpected... pleasure, to be... sure." Her anger faltered for a second as a shiver of disgust ran through her when she recognized the voice. It was Gideon Gleeful, the fat little white-haired boy who ran the Tent of Telepathy. Now, he was puffing, out of breath, and with sweat stains on his suit.
But she had to play nice... at least outwardly nice, although she was an expert at being subtly dismissive and insulting. "Oh, hello, Gideon," she said mildly. "I see you've taken up jogging. Good for you. The fight for childhood obesity begins at home."
His little pig nose twitched as he formed a snarl, but he kept his composure. "Charming, as always. You wouldn't happen to have seen Mabel Pines around, have you?"
Now it was Pacifica's turn to wrinkle her nose. "I thought you were over that girl... but then I never understood what you saw in her. The stupid bitch wears something different every day, when everybody knows the in-thing this summer is putting together one spectacular outfit that showcases your taste, and wearing it as often as possible." It was also a nice divider of class... rich girls like Pacifica's circle just bought duplicates, while the poorer girls had to wash the same outfit every day. Except Mabel had to be a special snowflake and wear a different home-made sweater every day, not realizing that it just made her look silly and insecure. She wanted to go on an even bigger rant on all of Mabel's flaws, but Pacifica realized she should probably be encouraging Gideon to pursue a relationship with her again... when the two were last dating, even though she didn't know Mabel at the time, at least he gave Pacifica a rest.
"Yes, once upon a time her maverick fashion sense was one of the things that attracted me to her," Gideon said, and it seemed he had a trace of wistfulness in his voice. That suited Pacifica. She still shuddered at the memory of having to babysit Gideon while their two sets of parents went to another of their "key parties". At least Gideon himself had finally got bored of that, and soon began insisting to his parents that he was now too old to need a babysitter. As long as the spoiled little kid didn't want her, their parents wouldn't push them together. "But today I have more material needs. She has something that I want..."
Pacifica's eyebrows drew together. "If you say the word 'unicorn', I swear to God I'm going to scream."
"No, it's something..." he paused, and tilted his head slightly to look at her. "Whyever would you say that?"
She inspected her fingernails, pretending to be far less bothered than she was. "She was playing some stupid let's pretend game and somehow got half the kids in the park thinking she really had a unicorn."
His eyes narrowed. "But you didn't see one?"
"Of course not. There was nothing there. She was just pretending to ride and the simpletons ate it up." She tossed her long blonde hair back and forth dismissively. "But nobody will be spreading those lies around now." Or the completely unfair accusation of being a "slut". Anybody who said that was in for a severe punishment.
"I see. And do you know where Mabel is now?"
"She and her loser friend were going to meet their other loser friend at the library." She finally reached her parents car, the driver waiting patiently for her.
"Thank you, Pacifica... you've been... most helpful."
She exhaled and got inside. "Whatever." She started to close the door, but then thought better of it and opened it again. "And Gideon... whatever you want from her... don't take 'no' for an answer."
He smiled. "I never do, Pacifica. I never do." He pulled out the tazer from his inner suit pocket and showed it to her.
Pacifica nodded, and then slammed the door shut and let the chauffer drive her home, a little more satisfied.
***
Dipper paced back and forth across the Mystery Shack gift shop's wooden floor. It was a good pacing floor, and he was in a pacing mood.
It was Wendy on his mind, of course. What Mabel had said shortly before riding off on her unicorn had stuck in his mind. He could deal with the girl of his dreams not being a virgin... he was mature for a twelve-year-old. But the notion of Robbie having sex with her that day, maybe even right that minute, gave him a sick feeling. It wasn't just the act, either... but if she had sex with him, then that meant they were 'serious'. Sure, Robbie called her his girlfriend now, but once they made love, it was official, and he had to abandon the hopes that she'd get bored with the eyeliner-wearing wannabe rock-star and dump him.
Now it was all he could think about. If there was somebody else around to distract him, it wouldn't be so bad, but he was alone, and became obsessed with the idea of somehow stopping it. "But how do I stop it," he asked himself aloud, for about the sixth time, "if I don't even know where they are?" He even thought about making copies of himself and sending them all over town, but for some reason whenever he found something magical that might be useful, he had a strong instinct never to use or mention it again. Besides, he didn't like the thought of all his clones reaching a Bad End, Dippers melting at the first contact with water was still a frequent nightmare. Sometimes in those nightmares, he was one of the clones. Even that grim thought didn't stick with him long before his mind was back on the Wendy train. "Come on Wendy, you can see through him, right?"
He turned, catching something out of the corner of his eye, through the door to the gift shop, a bunch of red hair. Dipper dashed to the door and threw it open, laughing nervously and shouting, far too cheerfully, "Wendy!"
Only it wasn't Wendy. It was the mailman, who had a bushy red beard and red arm-hair. He was digging around in his satchel, and eyed Dipper with disinterest. "Isn't it a little late for mail delivery?"
"Big town, boy," the mailman said with a grunt. "And I delivery to all of it. Be glad I get to you at all." He thrust a handful of envelopes in Dipper's hands and started to turn away.
That gave Dipper an idea. "Wait!" The man paused. "You probably know this town more than anybody, right?" He nodded. "Where would a teenage guy and a girl go to... you know."
"Roller rink," he said. "Makes any girl wet."
He didn't even know if there was a roller rink in town. "What if they were going to, you know..." He rolled his hands over each other as though that was somehow representative of the act that he was trying not to say. "Seal the deal." As an afterthought, he added, "And he's got a van. I've heard about a place called Lookout Point?"
"Lookout Point's just for fooling around. But every so often I see a love letter, guy telling a girl he's going to drive her up to Climax Point. Hard to get to, at least if you've got a girl along. You have to take a long drive through the Quivering Crevice, and it's easy to get lost and the girl loses interest and wants to go home."
Dipper squinted at the man. "You read the mail?"
"No," the mailman said defensively, his eyes shifting back and forth. "It's not like there's anything good in it anymore. Fucking e-mail replacing everything." He shrugged. "We done here?"
Dipper was still a little creeped out by the thought of this guy reading people's mail, but he said, "I guess."
"Yeah, don't say thank you or anything," he grunted. "Your parents were right, you needed to get out among real people more." Before Dipper could say another word, the mailman had already walked off, so he went back inside and grabbed a map.
"Climax Point..." he mumbled to himself, and looked around. There, he found it. Right between Quivering Crevice and the Silent Falls. He had a where. Now he just needed a plan to disrupt the act.
***
"Wow, Mabel, you have the coolest pets!" Grenda said in her deep, mannish voice, as the three sat around the ground petting Randy and feeding him cheese snacks. They were on the lawn outside the library, near the back.
"Your iguana's pretty cool too," Mabel said. "Where is it, by the way?"
Grenda's eyes slid away. "At the vet. I wasn't watching where I was sitting." She brightened and said, "You won't have that problem with Randy here."
"Yeah. I just don't know what I'm going to do when I run out of Cheesy Sluts for him to gobble." She put her fingers up to Randy's mouth and he dutifully licked the flavoring out there. "I might have to send him back to the forest. You think my Grunkle Stan's grouchy now, imagine if he starts stepping in invisible poop all the time."
"You can always send him to my place." Grenda seemed pretty excited about that possibility. "You know what Randy? At my place, I've got lots of cheese snacks, and corn bits, and pretzel knobs, and gummy worms, and caramel covered popcorn! You can eat as much as you want. What do you say, huh?"
"I think he's mostly deaf," Mabel pointed out.
"Well, maybe he knows sign language." Grenda began rapidly moving her hands in complicated patterns, showing a new talent Mabel never expected she had. Randy appeared to be paying attention, but it was hard to tell if he understood, or was just attracted to the motion. "Hey, do you think all unicorns are deaf, or just Randy?"
"I've never heard any stories about deaf unicorns. So I guess Randy's special." She put her arms around him and hugged him. "Don't worry, momma's going to take good care of her special little unicorn!"
Candy adjusted her glasses up and down again, which put them pretty much in the same place. "There must be very few unicorn, or we would see more of them, right? In dogs, deafness can become a problem from generations of inbreeding. Perhaps it is same thing here?"
"Inbreeding?" Grenda asked. "That's like when they have sex with their brothers and sisters, isn't it? Gross."
Mabel kept her face perfectly still and tried to ignore the little flutter in her stomach at the thought. She shouldn't be excited at the idea, everyone knew it was wrong.
"It is not gross," Candy insisted. "It is natural imperative. The species must survive. Besides, dog breeders use inbreeding to make new improvements of canine species, variety makes the world a better place. It is only when it goes on for many generations that it turns bad."
Mabel hid her head behind Randy's mane by pretending to stroke it, so that they wouldn't see the blush deepen on her already rosy cheeks. So, one generation might be okay? she wondered, but dared not ask it aloud. And what if you didn't want to have kids, but just the love, that should be even more okay, right?
"It still seems gross to me," Grenda said. "Can you imagine, Mabel, having sex with your brother?"
Eep. "Yeah. Me inbreeding with Dipper. Crazy." She laughed nervously, trying to sound like she thought the very idea was ridiculous, but she could feel her cheeks reddening.
"Inbreeding is when they have babies. If there is no baby, it is just incest," Candy corrected. "I do not care who has sex with who, if two people share a kinship then it is natural to take pleasure in each other. But I hope that you do not want to have sex with Dipper, Mabel."
"Trust me, that's not going to happen," Mabel said. The having sex part, at least, the wanting to... sometimes, sure.
"Good, because I do not want any more competition." She covered her mouth with one hand and giggled demurely as she blushed.
"You like my brother?" Mabel asked in voice rising in intensity. It really wasn't a surprise, she'd had a feeling for a while, but somehow Candy being serious enough about it to admit it made Mabel panic. The first step of a girl crush was acting silly around the guy. The second was admitting it to the friends. The third was actually asking the boy out, if he didn't do it first. Candy was at second, probably thinking about third, and Mabel would be stuck at first... forever.
"He is very smart, and cute, and brave. I liked wearing his body before."
"He's okay," Mabel said. "He's got an ugly birthmark on his head, you know." Not ugly to her, she was so used to it, the Dipper shape that gave him his nickname for as long as she could remember. "And he farts, like, all the time. Silent but deadly." Was there anything else she could use to turn her off him?
"So what are we going to do about Randy?" Grenda asked, either to change the subject or because her mind was still on the last one. "Will he have to have kids with his own family?"
Candy hmmmed and looked the beast over appraisingly. "If we really want to preserve the unicorn species, we should take bold action." She circled around and then knelt behind him and suddenly reached between his back legs to stroke his balls. Mabel and Grenda both gasped at once at what was indeed a bold action, but then Grenda got down on her stomach for a better look, and Mabel found herself joining in. There was a bump of something at what Mabel thought was the stomach, but now there was a long, flesh-colored rod coming out of it.
She hadn't automatically known what the bump was before, but now she could knew what this was. It looked pretty much like what penises in porn, or tiny cheese-based sculpture, looked like, very human-like in fact, which might surprise nitpickers if there were any around, but if any spoke up, Candy might remind them that unicorns are not actually horses and don't need to follow horse anatomy. Mabel didn't know enough about horse anatomy to question, so all she said was, "Wow, he's got a huge dong!"
"Yeah, he's bigger than the cucumbers my mom buys." Mabel and Candy stared at her for a moment... if she was saying what Mabel thought she was saying, it was the kind of thing that wasn't readily admitted to out loud. Finally, Grenda added, "We put them in the salads." Mabel nodded, satisfied, and pretended she didn't hear when Grenda rubbed the back of her neck and added, "Eventually."
"I can't believe you just did that," Mabel said to Candy, instead.
"You want to keep unicorns from going extinct, don't you? Then we should collect samples of semen and use it to impregnate horses, and diversify the gene pool. This is how horse breeders get semen."
"So you're going to... jack off the unicorn?" she asked, and then grinned widely. "That is so nasty." She hoped Candy wouldn't take offense, she tried to say the word like it was a good thing. And she did kind of like it, her friendship with these girls progressing to the talking perverted phase. Maybe Grenda could talk about her masturbatory habits now, and maybe Mabel could, too. It was a step she'd never reached back home.
"Nasty for science," Candy said proudly as she rubbed the large penis with her extremely tiny-looking hand, up and down, from the plum-like head to the sheath at the base of the shaft. "Come on Grenda, help out, you've done it before."
"Whaaat?"
"You said you helped your uncle do it with a horse."
"No, I said I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse," Grenda insisted, but then sighed, and reached out and she too began pumping.
"Oh, what the hell," Mabel said, and she reached out her own hand. Between the three of them, one hand each, they could just barely cover the whole shaft, and Grenda had big hands. She thought it would be slimy but it was just warm and twitched a bit.
Candy pulled away, and then ran to her backpack. She returned a moment later with a glass specimen jar and lid, and a sharpie, which she used to cross off the 'Manotaur' label that was already on there, and write in "Unicorn". "For collection," she said, and then bent down and placed it at the tip of Randy's penis. "Now stroke!" she ordered, and the other two girls did, until finally, the beast started squirting out a milky white liquid that half-filled the jar. Candy sealed the jar, and the other two girls let go of the unicorn penis and stood up. Throughout the whole thing, Randy took it stoically, only giving a few whinnies to indicate he even knew anything was happening at all.
While Candy put the jar back in her pack, Mabel stood up and put her hand on his horn. "I wonder if anything comes out if we rub this thing!" she joked, and then pumped her hand up and down. "Like maybe glitter!"
"Mabel! There you are," came a soft, feminine voice. Everyone, except Randy, turned their heads and saw Gideon standing about twenty feet away. His hands were behind his back. "I've been looking for you."
*-*

DISPLAY: Club 33 Logo

VOICE-OVER: You're watching The Club 33 Channel, Disney's exclusive members only channel! Your exclusive adult-rated "Gravity Falls" episode will be right back!

*-*
- 1
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Virgin on the Edge of Extinction