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Being Human	By : RotSeele Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > AU/AR-Alternate Universe-Alternate Reality Views: 2485 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim. I do not make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Being Human
- 2-Two
- 3-Three
- 4-Four
- 5-Five
- 6-Six
- 7-Seven
- 8-Eight
- 9-Nine
- 10-Ten
- 11-Eleven
- 12-Twelve
- 13-Thirteen
- 14-Fourteen
- 15-Fifteen
- 16-Sixteen
- 17-Seventeen
- 18-Eighteen
- 19-Nineteen
- 20-Twenty
- 21-Twenty One
- 22-Twenty-Two
- 23-Twenty-Three
- 24-Twenty-Four
- 25-Twenty-Five
- 26-Twenty-Six
- 27-Twenty-Seven
- 28-Twenty-Eight
- 29-Twenty-Nine (Epilogue)
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Two – Zim’s POV
He left me! That rotten, selfish, self-centered, filthy human bastard! I should’ve blasted him like I’d intended to instead of standing there like an inept monkey after he’d flipped me off. Instead I just watched him walk away, hand bleeding everywhere. I wanted to yell at him, but what good would it do? He was ignoring me, anyway. I went inside my house and went down to my lab. It was about the only place I could think of to vent my frustration since it was obvious to me that Dib was going to keep ignoring me even if I succeeded in blowing up the earth.
“Are you okay, master?” GIR asked me. I stared at him, not quite sure how to answer and not quite sure what white powdery substance was covering his mouth. I finally slumped in my chair and pulled off the wig I was wearing.
“I’m fine.” I growled. I wanted to destroy something, blow something up, but I just couldn’t make myself move. It was irritating. I’d been stuck on this dirtball of a planet for far too long. The Irken invasion wasn’t coming. I was never getting off this backwater shithole. And to top it all off, my enemy was leaving for the “real world”. “Maybe he’s right.” I sighed. “Maybe I can’t fit in out there.”
GIR made a whirring sound, then did a little jig until he had my full attention. He gave me a wide grin. “Master, you can do anything.”
“GIR, sometimes your lack of intelligence makes you seem pretty smart.” He grinned wider and danced away. I leaned back in my chair and propped my chin on my fist. I could fit in, couldn’t I? I’d been doing it for seven years now, after all. A few adjustments were all I would have to make to look more human. Then I could go to this college place and Dib would never know.
…Yeah. I’m not obsessive or anything.
I turned to my computer and began typing away at the keys, imputing commands and rewriting codes. Most of the genetic data that I’d used to make me… taller… was still in the computer’s database, so writing new codes for new modifications wasn’t too difficult. It would hurt like a wicked bitch in heat, though. I modeled my new skeletal structure on a human’s, making sure that everything would match. Five fingers, five toes, that sort of thing. All normal lengths, because I really didn’t feel like coming up with a story as to why I had two stunted fingers on each hand. I’m not saying I couldn’t. I could. It was just beneath my dignity. I made more adjustments and computations and it was after midnight when I was finally finished with every minute detail. For a while I just stared at my screen, pretending to study the numbers running along the images of what I was going to look like when this was over.
“Right,” I said to myself, “let’s get this over with.” I pushed myself out of the chair, removed my PAK, and stepped into the sterilized alteration chamber I’d built.
As the clear hurricane-proof glass door hissed closed behind me, the second thoughts started popping into my head. I was being obsessive. As much as I was loath to admit it, Dib was my friend. Him going away brought up a while slew of questions I didn’t want to answer. But if I went through with this and followed him to this school, then he’d have no choice but to admit that I was better. Alternatively, it could go horribly, irreversibly wrong. I already figured out that if I succeeded in following Dib and he didn’t recognize me, I couldn’t just blow my cover. I’d have to pretend I was who I was saying I was. Which, admittedly, could be fun, because it would prove that I was a genius and Dib was an idiot.
“GIR!” I yelled. He was there in an instant, saluting me. “GIR, press the button.”
“Yes, sir!” GIR shouted. I watched him toddle over to the keyboard and leap into my chair. He cracked his robot knuckles and I could swear a dark cloud of foreboding encircled his head. A shiver went down my spine. He raised his hands and brought them down as hard as he could on the button. I couldn’t hold back the scream that ripped out of my throat as my bones snapped.
It took more than two hours before the entire process was finished. I could barely stand when the door hissed open. Steam gushed out in front of me as I stepped out onto the cold metal of my lab floor. Shakily I raised myself to my full height and looked down. Ten human toes. I wiggled them and I could feel the bones moving under my skin. I looked at my hands. Ten human fingers, all the correct lengths. I touched my face. Lips, human nose, eyes. I took a few steps forward and looked at my reflection on the black screen of my monitor. I was completely naked. Well, I decided as my eyes traveled over my body. I guess I won’t be taking my clothes off. It was obvious what I was lacking. Irken physiology didn’t allow for an outside sex organ. We were clones, made in smeeteries beneath our planet’s surface. Besides that, if you considered how much of a screw-up I was, that option would have been taken away from me right after I fucked up the first time, if Irkens still reproduced sexually. Besides lacking a human male organ, and having my PAK attached quasi-permanently to my spine, I looked like a normal human being, save for the red eyes, unnaturally pale skin, the bald head, and, oh yeah, the antennae growing out of my skull.
It made me realize something I really didn’t want to admit.
I reached for the wig I’d left on my chair and put it on with my eyes closed. When I opened them, I gaped at my reflection. I didn’t even recognize myself.
“This is too awesome.” I whispered to myself. I heard GIR clunking around behind me and turned to face him. “GIR!” I shouted to get his attention. “Do you recognize me?”
He stared at me for a while, jaw slack. Then his eyes went red so I had my answer. I ripped the wig off my head the moment GIR’s weaponry came out. “GIR, it’s me! Zim!”
“Oh.” His eyes returned to normal and he blinked at me. “Master, you’d better be careful. There’s an intruder!” He spun around and pranced out of my view. I just stared after him for a while, then shook myself. There was still much more to my plan, and for that I needed help. There. I admitted it. God help me, I needed Gaz.
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Being Human