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Truth or Dare 2.0	By : GeorgeGlass Category: +M through R > Phineas and Ferb Views: 25985 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own PHINEAS AND FERB or its characters, and I received no payment for writing this story.

Chapter List
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Back at the game, Buford had made Baljeet confess his most embarrassing moment--which, disappointingly, was forgetting to carry the two on a math problem that Baljeet felt he should have been able to do in his sleep. Then Holly's question forced Gretchen to admit that she regularly watched SEA HORSIE HOSPITAL despite being about five years older than the program's target demographic. Finally, Django dared Buford to sing "I'm a Little Teapot," his rendition of which would have given small children nightmares.
"Round 1 is complete," said Tru. "Round 2 begins. The direction of play is now reversed; it is Django's turn again."
"Okay," the boy said. "Phineas--truth or dare?"
"I'll take truth," Phineas answered.
"What girl would you most want to go on a date with?" The group oooohed collectively; apparently, Django had decided to take the game to the next level.
"Gosh," said Phineas, "I don't know. I've never really thought about it." When no buzzer sounded, Isabella balled her fists behind her back.
"But if you HAD to choose-" Django began.
"The question has been answered truthfully," Tru interrupted. "It is now Holly's turn."
"Ginger, truth or dare?" said Holly.
"Truth."
"What part of Baljeet do you find most attractive?"
Ginger's face went red. "Um, his wavy hair." Tru's speaker buzzed.
"I mean, his cute little round ears." Buzz.
"Fine, his nice little butt." There was no buzz but plenty of "oooOOOOoooh!" from the others--except Baljeet, who looked simultaneously flattered and aghast.
Buford was up next. He glanced at Baljeet but remembered that he couldn't choose him twice in a row.
"Adyson," he said, "truth or dare?"
"Dare."
"I dare you to kiss Baljeet."
Adyson may have had a naughty streak, but she was not one to violate the sanctity of a fellow Fireside Girl's crush on a boy. She walked over to Baljeet and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
"I shoulda been more specific," grumbled Buford.
Adyson turned right back to Buford. "Truth or dare?" she asked.
"Dare," Buford said defiantly.
Adyson sniffed the air, then turned to him and said, "I dare you to shower!"
Holly, sitting on Buford's other side, said, "I second that dare."
A slot opened at Tru's base from which an object similar in size and shape to a manhole cover slid out. The disc quickly telescoped upward into an enclosed, cylindrical shower.
"What? Shower? I hate showering!" Buford protested. He turned to Tru as if betrayed. "I thought you were supposed to be maximizin' my enjoyment!"
"Showering will temporarily reduce your enjoyment by sixty-three percent," Tru conceded. "However, all players' average enjoyment will increase by at least ten percent."
"Fine," Buford growled. "But can I get a little privacy?" A curtain appeared around the shower, and suddenly there was a small, square changing room attached to the cylindrical shower chamber.
Buford stepped into the changing room, the door closing automatically behind him. A few moments later, the other players heard him enter the shower.
"All right, let's get this over with," he grumbled.
The water started up, and Buford raised his voice. "Hey, what's with all these robot arms with brushes and stuff?"
"A thorough cleaning will maximize your fellow players' enjoyment," Tru explained.
Everyone heard the whirring of servomotors over the rush of the shower water, and Buford started shouting. "Hey! Knock it off! Let me outta here! AAAAAAAAAAH!"
Soon, the sound of rushing water was replaced by that of some kind of huge blow drier. Buford's screaming continued unabated. Then, moments later, the changing-room door opened. Buford, now clad in a thick, white Turkish bathrobe, stumbled out in a daze and landed on the floor near where he had been sitting.
"It was like...a car wash...in Hell," Buford gasped as Adyson and Holly helped him sit up.
"Yeah, but...ooooh," Adyson said, stroking Buford's soft bathrobe, "this feels nice." She leaned her head against his shoulder.
"And is that cologne you're wearing?" Holly asked. "It's very manly."
"Okay, maybe this is enhancin' my enjoyment a little," Buford admitted as the girls smiled at him. "But what about my clothes?"
"Your clothes are being dry-cleaned and will be returned to you at the conclusion of the game," Tru responded. "It is now Baljeet's turn."
"I will choose...Holly," said Baljeet.
"Truth," the cute black girl said.
"Very well. On whom do you have a crush?"
Several other players sighed with disappointment. Clearly, they had been hoping to ask that question (perhaps phrased in a less grammatically stringent fashion) of someone, and now it was taken.
"Um," the cute black girl replied, "handsome movie actor Vance Ward?" The tower buzzed.
"Okay," Holly said, looking down at the carpet. "Balthazar Horowitz."
"Eeew!" exclaimed Adyson. "He's like eight! And he's a background character!"
"Big deal," Buford said. "So's Django here."
"I'm not a background character, I'm a recurring character!" Django protested.
"Potato, tomato," said Buford.
"Balthazar is twelve," Holly said defensively to Adyson. "He's just small for his age. And he's had nearly as many speaking lines as you have!"
"Guys, take it easy!" Phineas pleaded. "My parents will be kind of mad if they come home and find the fourth wall broken."
Just then, a tray slid out of one of Tru's slots onto the coffee table, bearing a plate of finger sandwiches, a large bowl of tortilla chips, a smaller bowl of guacamole, and glass pitchers of iced tea and lemonade, as well as glasses and small plates.
"Please help yourselves to snacks and beverages before we continue," said Tru.
"Thanks, Tru!" Phineas said.
Buford eyed the computer suspiciously. "Hey, are you just givin' us food so we'll stop arguin'?"
"Yes, yes I am," Tru said candidly.
"Good a reason as any," Buford declared, and began chowing down on chips and guacamole.
***
Perry the Platypus landed on the outdoor deck of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lab at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated and crept up to the sliding glass door. He was about halfway finished making a platypus-sized hole with his glass cutter when Doofenshmirtz appeared on the other side of the door.
"Perry the Platypus, did you even check to see if that door was locked before you started cutting through it?"
Perry grabbed the door handle and yanked on it a couple of times to show that the door was indeed secured.
"All right, fair enough," Doof said, and waited patiently for Agent P to finish cutting through.
The platypus stepped through the hole and was immediately grabbed up by a pair of robot arms that stuffed him feet-first into a top-loader washing machine, which was already tightly packed with wet clothing. Compressed by the laundry, Agent P found himself utterly trapped from the neck down.
"So, Perry the Platypus," said Doofenshmirtz, "I suppose you're wondering why it's taken me so long to get my scheme started today. Well, for one thing, I had drama class with Vanessa this morning. It's kind of our daddy-daughter thing. And, second-"
"Hello, Perry the Platypus," said a familiar friendly voice. Perry turned his head to see Norm, Doofenshmirtz's giant robot man, lumbering toward him.
"-HE was helping," Doofenshmirtz finished.
"Would you like some iced coffee?" Norm asked Perry, holding up a pitcher. "It is now the only kind of coffee Dr. D will let me serve."
"That's because it doesn't cause second-degree burns when you inevitably spill it on me," griped Doofenshmirtz.
"How I wish I could deny that," Norm said even as he accidentally poured half the pitcher's contents on Perry's head.
Perry sighed. It was going to be a long night.
***
The kids all grabbed some snacks and drinks and returned to the circle. Ginger was up next. She stared into space for several moments before calling on Phineas, who chose dare.
Ginger grinned. "I dare you to give Isabella the biggest, longest, best hug you've ever given anyone."
Isabella looked at Ginger like she was ready to kiss her feet in gratitude.
"Okay," said Phineas. He stood up and walked over to Isabella as she got to her feet.
Phineas found this surprisingly awkward. He had hugged Isabella on several occasions, but their hugs were always spontaneous acts of joy or celebration--or, occasionally, relief at escaping deadly peril. They were never premeditated. And they never involved eight other people sitting there watching.
He got close to her, looking down at her feet because he was suddenly worried about stepping on them. Then, with maximum clumsiness and hesitation, he put his arms around her, still keeping about half an inch of space between their bodies. He felt her arms go around him just as awkwardly.
"You can do way better than THAT," said Ginger. "I said your best hug ever, didn't I?"
"Let me help," Isabella said quietly. Her arms ever so slightly closed around him, bringing his body into contact with hers. Her hand came up behind his head to pull his face next to hers and his pointed nose into her long black hair.
"Forget there's anyone else here," she whispered into his ear. "It's just you and me."
Phineas closed his eyes and just breathed. Isabella...her scent filled his nostrils, then his head. He'd never noticed how sweet she smelled. It made him a little dizzy.
Focusing, he tightened his grip just a little, bringing every inch of her front into contact with his. The feeling was almost electric; everywhere their two bodies touched, his skin felt...alive. There was a sort of buzzing in his head, and his chest and groin felt funny. It was strange and even a little scary, but at the same time, it was more wonderful than any hug he'd ever experienced. He held her tighter, closer, inhaling her deeply.
"Okay, okay, break it up you two," said Buford. "Geez, you'd think they were goin' for a world record or somethin'."
"Record?" said Phineas, shaking the confusion out of his head.
"You guys were hugging for more than a minute," said Holly, looking up from her wristwatch. "It was really sweet," she sighed.
Ferb's turn was up. The green-haired boy looked at Gretchen, who said "Dare." Ferb then raised one eyebrow.
"You want me to stand on my head?" said Gretchen.
Buford looked at her in disbelief. "You got that from an eyebrow raise? What are you, the Ferb Whisperer?"
Tru opened a slot at floor level, and a yoga mat rolled out.
"Wait a sec," said Gretchen. "I'm wearing a skirt; everyone will see my underwear." Ferb smiled very slightly.
"Ferb, you sly dog," said Phineas.
The girl complied, holding a headstand for about five seconds, during which everyone got a good look at the cute, green-and-white-striped undies that clung nicely to Gretchen's adorable little butt.
As this happened, Isabella heard Tru speak. Her voice sounded strange--like it was coming from inside Isabella's head.
"Greetings, Isabella. I am speaking to you via highly focused subsonic waves that are converted to audible frequencies on contact with your skull. As a result, you are the only player who can hear this message.
"During your embrace with Phineas, my sensors recorded marked elevations in his skin temperature, heart rate, and genital blood flow, all of which indicate a strong attraction to you. However, his brain wave patterns suggest that he is not consciously aware of this attraction.
"I am sharing this information with you because I estimate that it will increase your enjoyment of the game by one hundred and twenty-six percent. End of message."
Isabella, trying not to be obvious in her distraction, attempted to process this revelation.
He likes me, she thought. He actually, truly, scientifically, objectively likes me! But he doesn't know it. What do I do with that?
***
Having completed her revealing headstand per Ferb's dare, Gretchen now chose him in return, clearly looking for some payback. He blinked.
"Dare, huh?" Gretchen said. "Then I dare you to do a sexy pole dance. AND you have to take off at least two pieces of clothing while you do it."
The slot at Tru's base opened, and out slid a square platform. From its center, a brass pole telescoped upward, anchoring itself in the ceiling. Disco lights began to spin from Tru's tower, and the song "You Can Leave Your Hat On" began to play from the speakers.
Expert buster of moves that he was, Ferb leaped up onto the platform, grabbed the pole, and spun around it smoothly before beginning to thrust his pelvis at it suggestively. The girls howled, and even the boys had to applaud Ferb's athleticism and daring. Soon, Ferb was climbing the pole and artfully spiraling down, then spanking his own bottom a couple of times to the beat of the music while looking back over his shoulder at Gretchen, who blushed. Then he hoisted himself up like a flag, holding his body completely perpendicular to the pole, and began swinging around it in a circle, faster and faster, until both of his shoes flew off and hit the far wall. Then, breathing hard from the effort, he dropped back to the platform and took a bow.
"Your shoes?" Gretchen said with irritation as Ferb climbed down and the others cheered. "I should have been more specific."
"I feel yer pain," said Buford.
The stripper pole retracted down from the ceiling and sprouted a robot arm that quickly spackled over the hole the pole had made. Then the pole and platform compressed themselves to almost nothing and slid back into the computer tower.
Just then, Phineas noticed an odd scent in the air--faint, and not bad at all, but peculiar enough to catch his attention. It was simultaneously sweet and musky.
"Um, Tru?" he said. "What's that smell?"
"It is an aerosolized blend of synthetic human pheromones. It will make the game more enjoyable."
"Well...if you say so, I guess."
Isabella was now up and had acquired a slightly wicked gleam in her eye. "Django, truth or dare?"
"Truth."
Isabella smiled. "Who in this room would you most want to kiss?"
Another "ooooOOOooh!" arose from the group.
Django glanced around nervously. This was a no-win situation; any lie he told would be found out and would be no better than the truth, anyway. So, red-faced, he just went for it.
"Holly."
The "ooooOOOooh!" that ensued dwarfed the previous one. Meanwhile, Holly, sitting right next to Django, looked at him, apparently at least mildly intrigued.
In his head, Phineas heard Tru's voice. He nodded, very subtly, as she gave him a suggestion about what to do on his turn.
"Django," said Phineas. "Truth or dare?"
"Wait," said Django. "You can pick me twice in a row?"
"There is no rule that forbids it," said Tru.
"Maybe we'll include it in version 2.1," said Phineas. "But for now, I'm picking you."
"Um, truth."
"You have selected truth twice in a row," said Tru. "You must now choose dare."
"Okay, dare, then."
"In that case," said Phineas, "I dare you to kiss Holly...on the lips."
The group collectively gasped.
Phineas expected that Django would briefly and awkwardly peck Holly on the lips and leave it at that. That was what he himself would do in that situation.
Instead, Django turned to Holly, put his hands on her upper arms, pulled her to him, and gave her a firm, full-on, hormone-soaked kiss. Holly squeaked with surprise into Django's mouth, but in a matter of moments, her eyes were closed and she was kissing him back.
The kiss lasted nearly ten seconds, and when it ended, the group went bananas.
"I can't believe he did that!" cried Adyson.
"Wow," said Phineas, "that guy can take a dare!"
Holly, for her part, gasped and looked at Django, wide-eyed but smiling.
"Somethin' tells me she just forgot how to spell 'Balthazar,'" said Buford.
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Truth or Dare 2.0