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Curse of the Devilspawn!	By : acsoundwave Category: Transformers > G1 > Crossovers Views: 1033 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, Gobots, Spider-Man, X-Men, GI Joe, Iron Man, The Black Panther, The Fantastic Four, nor The Avengers. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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TRANSFORMERS: CYBERTRON SAGA
CURSE OF THE DEVILSPAWN! Special #2: DARK CONCEPTION.
byline: Anubis C. Soundwave
Scene: 1
Seething, Pumper chips away at the last of the frozen Devilspawn blood. "Almost.... All...off! Damned filthy bastard."
"Not one of your better days, I take it," says Dr. Anya Turgenova from behind the forcefield.
"You got it, Doc. The return trip involves me freezing the damn things to death." Pumper picks up a frozen piece of chipped Devilspawn blood. "You and Rest-Q wanted to study this?"
"Da," says Anya. "Rest-Q needs it mostly to confirm Leader One's preliminary readings."
"Gotcha." Pumper winces in disgust. "I still feel unclean."
Scene: 2
Small Foot carefully filters her jug of Deathwater to remove impurities.
I guess I owe Moelgru an apology; that Deathwater really did the trick. The Guardian femme places the container of filtered Deathwater into her replicator.
Enough to bathe in, to make sure all of this Devilspawn crud is gone, Small Foot muses. I'm still not drinking it, though--blech!
Scene: 3
"The temps are gonna be pretty damn high, A. J.," warns Turbo, standing behind several layers of clear thermal shielding and two forcefields.
"I'm just adding a second set of eyes and ears to make sure Phoenix has no reason to sue Gobotron again," says A. J., grinning.
Turbo laughs. "I hear that. My salary won't cover the bill if this Devilspawn goop causes an epidemic."
"Leader One said that something was off about the wyrm's blood," A. J. notes.
"Yeah; that fits with what the natives and that Seer were grousing about," says Turbo, scowling as he begins superheating himself.
A. J. frowns, worried. "That bad?"
Turbo's optics narrow as he burns off the blood. "I just want to put this mission far behind me."
Scene: 4
AFTER ACTION REPORT.
Written by: Sludge.
Sludge am go with Optimus and Perceptor to do solo mission training stuff. Dinobots am need to learn to operate alone, too; to be "more versatile" as team, say him leader Grimlock.
Me Sludge go first because am work well with other Autobots, and have basic understanding of science stuff from Wheeljack and Ratchet. Him Swoop am smarter than me Sludge, but Swoop am get distracted and not always follow orders. No am good. Must follow orders.
Old crashed starskimmer Wheeljack found for mission no good. Fuel line broken. Have to hitch ride with Guardians. Leader One and Optimus no like each other; me Sludge no know why.
Guardians and Autobots land on unknown planet where radio signal come from.
Meet old human and alien natives. Natives call human "Seer". Seer sent radio transmission, but not able to explain to Leader One because Guardian no am listen to "garbled mystical hogwash". Leader One am dumb leader sometimes.
Me Sludge interact with native children for intelligence gathering. Children always am smarter than grownups; that am observation from visits to elementary school on Earth. Sludge let alien children talk, while Sludge listen.
Seer from Earth, or "shining water-rock Gaea"; Gaea am Greek name for Earth, after goddess. Him Seer am drift to planet from lunar orbit near Earth during Apollo mission twenty-five cycles ago, while Autobots in stasis lock in volcano. Him had to communicate complicated ideas to simple, primitive people--that am why him Seer talk like Charlton Heston in The Ten Commandments. Him Seer am build log cabin like Abraham Lincoln--am nicer than mud huts.
Children am sickly; village am dying. Women no am able to give birth. Lots of Devilspawn on planet, not just in Sinners' Cavern. Other villages likely am around.
Me Sludge hear two stories from village. Them am below.
Storytime: The Demons of Eel-seen and Nazoonta of the Golden Grasses.
Nazoonta was a peaceful village in a land of golden grass, where everyone was happy. However, there were wicked people who made a pact with the Devilspawn; these were the Demons of Eel-seen. They snatched away the women of Nazoonta--the Life-bringers; the Demons forced the women to bear their unholy seed. Beware the Demons of Eel-seen, for they ride atop the backs of tamed kae-phals and feign friendship.
The End.
Storytime: The Wrath and Mercy of N'vabu Rim, God of the Sky.
For many generations, N'vabu Rim ruled justly over the whole of the earth. (Me Sludge note: no am Sol's Earth, but am alien planet.) But a faithless people chose to turn away from N'vabu Rim's will and work wickedness, so N'vabu Rim removed his veil of protection.
This was the black day that the Devilspawn first scourged the peoples of the earth.
Yet N'vabu Rim saw fit to relent, rendering a small mercy unto the people. He gave unto each village and hamlet a pool of cleansing: the Deathwater. It would purify any man or woman covered in the Devilspawn's blood, and would purge a woman's body of the Devilspawn's seed.
Thus was the will of N'vabu Rim fulfilled.
The End.
Me Sludge hate N'vabu Rim.
Sludge am return to group after children go home. Guardians am angry and impatient; him Perceptor am stupid and brainy with sample stuff.
In conclusion: me Sludge recommend Aerialbots, Hound, Trailbreaker, Ratchet, and all five Dinobots for return mission--on functional ship.
Scene: 5
In the Control Room at Autobot Headquarters; Optimus, Ratchet, and Grimlock finish reading Sludge's report.
"Sludge's Storytime segments read like the ones on Mr. Clown." Ratchet chuckles.
"At least dumb show gives him Sludge template to follow," says Grimlock.
"Also, it's readable--allowing for the usual Dinobot syntax issues," adds Optimus. "We definitely need more information about that Seer."
"Why Optimus no am get more information from Seer?" asks Grimlock.
"Because the Guardians wanted to get the hell off the planet, and they were our ride home," says Optimus, irritated. "Leader One's unwarranted contempt for me was on full display that day."
"Us definitely need 'functional ship', then." Grimlock looks into Optimus' optics. "Why no am ask Omega Supreme?" he asks.
"We needed him here at the time," says Optimus. "If Sludge is correct, I'll definitely consider Omega for our return trip."
"Me Grimlock think him Sludge am right," asserts Grimlock. "Him got lots of intelligence."
"Grimlock." Ratchet gives Grimlock a warning look, then turns to Optimus. "It does seem that Sludge may be on to something regarding the Devilspawn," the medic says to Optimus.
Optimus and Grimlock nod, letting Ratchet continue.
"It matches with Perceptor's findings, Leader One's preliminary readouts--before Small Foot hacked the Devilspawn to pieces," Ratchet adds, "and Rest-Q's initial lab results."
"Perceptor...." Optimus touches his chin in thought. "He's locked himself in his lab for a solid week."
"And he's mainlining his stash of high grade," says Ratchet. "That ain't a good sign at all."
Scene: 6
These readings. They're horrendous. Perceptor stares at his console's monitor as he downs another cube of high grade.
Wheeljack pokes his head into Perceptor's lab. "Hey, Percy," he says, "Optimus needs--*"
"Please advise anyone continuing these disturbances that they can go straight to fragging hell," spits Perceptor.
"So, Optimus Prime can go to hell." Wheeljack snickers.
Perceptor glares at Wheeljack, datapad in hand to hurl at the inventor.
"You're past your already-low tolerance for high grade energon," continues Wheeljack, "and you're overenergized to the point of stasis. What's wrong?"
Perceptor calmly sets his brandished datapad down and faces Wheeljack. "Your query is 'What's wrong'?" the scientist states, giving Wheeljack a thin smile.
Wheeljack nods.
"What in the flying frag isn't wrong would be the most appropriate query string!" Perceptor answers.
"What?" Wheeljack's optics widen.
"Everything is wrong!" Perceptor continues. "Every damned thing!"
Ratchet enters Perceptor's lab.
"Get the hell out!" Perceptor demands.
"Perceptor, you look like Menasor gave you a forced frag," counters Ratchet.
Perceptor spits at the medic.
"Besides," Ratchet continues, unperturbed, "your lab is linked to my med bay, and I outrank you; I ain't going anywhere."
Perceptor sighs. "Did you start the moratorium on human visits to the Ark, per my request?" he asks.
"Yes," says Ratchet. "Red Alert implemented it, effective immediately. Even our regulars aren't getting in."
"Good." Perceptor gives Ratchet a crude grin. "Then please send Wheeljack away, sit your superior officer aft down, and listen to my sordid lab results."
Ratchet shoos a confused Wheeljack out of the lab and sits. "Let's hear it."
Scene: 7
Perceptor's inebriated voice carries through the door to his lab. "...and that's it, you insufferable aft port!" he spits. "Now do you comprehend why I'm not in a cordial temperament?"
"I 'comprehended' from the start." says Ratchet. "You've had more energon than you can handle, and you're drunk off your aft!"
Slingshot, sitting on his exam berth while awaiting an exam, scowls. I decide to follow Silverbolt's lead and actually arrive to one of these routine exams, he muses, only to listen to Prissy Percival curse at the medic. Slingshot fidgets, annoyed with waiting.
"If you had to analyze these fragging results," says Perceptor, "so would you!"
"Yeah," says Ratchet, "but I always share my misery with you and Jack, thus mainlining less--cut that out! You can't have any more! That's an order!"
"You may cram and affix your fragging order firmly up your exhaust valve, sir!" counters Perceptor.
Ratchet laughs. "The hell with you. Hope you like your hangover, Percy. I have a patient outside."
Slingshot hops off the exam berth. "No, he doesn't," he says aloud. "I'm fine; I'll just do some basic field repairs." He heads to the med bay door...
...only to meet Sludge, standing in the doorway.
"Hi, Slingshot," Sludge grins.
"Hey, Sludge. I need to get out," says Slingshot.
"Am exam done?" Sludge asks.
Slingshot stares at Sludge. "I...don't see how that's your business, chief."
"You no am leave until exam done," says Sludge, folding his arms.
"I've got places to be," says Slingshot.
"You Slingshot finish exam now," says Sludge, "then go to places sooner."
"Get out of my way, Sludge," spits Slingshot.
Sludge smiles at Slingshot. "Me Sludge could injure you Slingshot," he says as he cracks his knuckles. "Then you am need exam anyway."
Ratchet, out of Perceptor's lab, walks up to Slingshot and Sludge. "No need for that, Sludge," he says. "This character ain't getting away today."
"Okay," says Sludge. "Sludge go and research hanzi. Am important for mission." Sludge leaves the med bay.
"What mission?" asks Slingshot.
"Get your aft back on your berth," says Ratchet. "About time you got normal maintenance done."
"My berth?" Slingshot notes a name plate on the berth he had left; it has his name engraved. "Whose sick joke is this?" he asks as he sits down."Sparkplug's. Got it from a trophy shop. Glad to see you here without several fuel-leaking holes," continues Ratchet as he opens Slingshot's left chest panel for diagnostics.
"Yeah, whatever. What mission is Sludge going on?" asks Slingshot. "I know he went on a trip with Perceptor and Optimus a few days ago."
Ratchet spares the door to Perceptor's lab an annoyed glance. "He found some nasty scrap there," says the medic, "and will whine at me about a hangover when he wakes from his rest cycle."
"Do I have a clean bill of health, Doc?" asks Slingshot.
"I just started the exam. Nice try, though," says Ratchet, opening Slingshot's right chest panel. "You are looking good so far," he continues, "except for that bit of electrical tape. I told you: frayed wires near your fuel pump means a quick visit to me or First Aid."
"I barely qualify as injured," scoffs Slingshot.
"That's right, tough guy: because this time you followed protocol and took your checkup," says Ratchet, "so I caught any problems before they bite your aft in battle--and scare Silverbolt half to death."
"Ah, Bolt worries too much," says Slingshot, pouting.
Silverbolt stands in the doorway to med bay, unseen by Slingshot or Ratchet.
He actually did it, says Silverbolt to himself. It's too much to hope that the dumb-aft will stick to this, he continues silently, smiling, so I'll have to stay on him...
Silverbolt licks his lip components. ...though staying on him, he muses whimsically, does sound like fun.
After the exam ends, Slingshot exits med bay, bumping into Silverbolt.
"Take it easy, Slingshot," says Silverbolt, grabbing Slingshot's arms gently.
"Sorry, chief," says Slingshot. "I've got to get moving. Ratchet only found a couple of frayed wires anyway," he continues.
"Today," notes Silverbolt sternly. "And because our CMO fixed them today," he continues, "you won't have a short throwing your fuel pump out of sync; thus, it was not a waste of time."
"Gotcha. Now, sir," continues Slingshot, "I must be on my way."
"Where are you going?" asks Silverbolt.
"Red Alert needs to patch so-called security holes. You know how he is," Slingshot continues, "'this place is a damned sieve'. Bet he loves it, though."
"And you love doing all of this extra work," grins Silverbolt.
"It needs to be done," says Slingshot, "and I want to lend a hand. Win-win."
Silverbolt gazes at Slingshot, smiling softly.
"Can I...go now?" Slingshot asks.
This starts Silverbolt. "Yes. Take care of yourself." Silverbolt lets Slingshot's arms go.
"Sure," says Slingshot. "You do the same."
Slingshot leaves Silverbolt alone outside med bay. Silverbolt touches his chin, thinking.
Scene: 8
In the Aerialbots' common room, Air Raid pauses his game and puts down the controller, watching as Slingshot enters with several datapads and a portable console.
"What'cha doing, Slingshot?" asks Air Raid.
"Stuff," says Slingshot.
Air Raid pouts. "Elaborate."
"Boring stuff--hey!" Slingshot turns to find Air Raid perusing a datapad.
"I'll be the judge of...hey. This is info on me!" says Air Raid indignantly. "Planning an extortion hit?"
"You'd have to have something I want bad enough to resort to blackmail; besides which," continues Slingshot as he snatches away the datapad, "you're not easily humiliated."
"Then, since that's info about me," says Air Raid, "what are you doing with it?"
"I'm preparing intel briefs for an away mission that Optimus is going on," says Slingshot. "He'll need us for the mission later, so I want to keep the main players up to speed."
"Did Optimus order you to do this?" Air Raid asks.
"No, I volunteered," says Slingshot. "Happened to hear the brass talking it over, and I caught Optimus and asked him what he needed me to do."
"Are the briefs all he needs?" asks Air Raid.
"Hell, no! There's a lot to be done," continues Slingshot, "and some of it I won't get done until we hit the planet."
Air Raid studies Slingshot. "Such as?" he asks.
"The biggest thing is to get a topographical map of the planet. If we had solid long-range visual sensors," says Slingshot, "I could do it here and have the whole mission crew hitting the ground running."
Air Raid nods. "What else?" he asks.
Slingshot is animated. "We definitely need to fly more, especially Silverbolt. I don't expect a lot of air combat in the mission," he continues, "but just in case the Decepticons show up or something, we'll have to stay on our toes."
"Where are we headed?" asks Air Raid.
"The planet doesn't even have a name," says Slingshot, "and it's uncharted on most star maps. It's right near Sol system, but past the Kuiper Belt."
"If the big guy himself is going on the mission," says Air Raid, looking at a datapad with Optimus Prime's information, "then the problem's huge. What are we fighting?"
"The Devilspawn. May as well give you this to get you up to speed--since you're uncharacteristically interested," says Slingshot, handing Air Raid a datapad with information on the Devilspawn.
Air Raid stares at an image of the Devilspawn. "It...it looks like...."
"Spike called it a 'dickworm'," says Slingshot, "and Chip wants to use the concept as a monster in his next Dungeons & Dragons session."
"I'm going to meme the hell out of that: 'the Dickworm'." Air Raid laughs. "Just imagine that coming out of Prowl's vocalizer."
"I never thought Prowl would be such an RPG nerd," says Slingshot.
"We're all full of surprises," says Silverbolt, standing with Fireflight and Skydive; they had entered the common room while Slingshot was speaking to Air Raid.
"You're planning to do all of that work you're talking about by yourself, aren't you?" says Fireflight.
"If I need your help," says Slingshot, glaring at Air Raid, "then I'll ask you."
"Give me that!" Silverbolt snatches the console. "We are helping you," he continues, "because it will not occur to you ask for our help."
"It ain't that much," says Slingshot. "I've done a lot of this work on solo and Special Ops missions with Bumblebee and the Twin Frags."
"Missions you volunteer for," says Air Raid, scowling, "and never let us in on. Like that Rogue Star business last month."
"Rogue Star?" Silverbolt's optics widen.
"Yeah. He snuck off," says Air Raid, pouting, "like he always does."
"It was a secret mission--which you nearly blew following me," says Slingshot.
"You're not leaving us out of this one," says Silverbolt. "What do we need to do?"
"Aside from dry run flights, which we need to do anyway," adds Skydive, "and the intelligence briefs, which only Slingshot knows how to prepare."
"There's also top mapping the target planet," says Slingshot evenly, "which can't be done until we get there anyway."
"Okay. Slingshot, you'll handle the intel briefs," says Silverbolt. "Skydive, Air Raid, and I will fly dry sorties between here, UNECOM, JOE Headquarters, the Kennedy Space Center, and the Baxter Building."
"I can generate the top map," says Fireflight.
"We'll all brief ourselves on the planet, to get a basic idea of what to expect," says Skydive. "Who's the expert to touch base with?"
"Sludge." Slingshot grins. "Way to sneak up on me and take my work."
"What do you expect?" says Air Raid. "Us to just stand around and do nothing?"
"Yes; we are going to help you, my sweet," says Silverbolt, embracing Slingshot from behind, "and you will like it."
"Whatever. Will you let me go," says Slingshot, blushing, "so I can finish up the briefs?"
Scene: 9
"The key is our Seer," Ratchet reports to Optimus.
"Go on," says Optimus. He, Ratchet, Perceptor, and all five Dinobots stand in front of Teletraan One.
"Let's find out who he actually was here on Earth, for one," says Ratchet, entering search data into Teletraan.
"Him am from Apollo mission in 1962," adds Sludge.
Teletraan pulls up results from the search. "Results found: four. First result: Dr. Leroy Armbruster."
"Not him." Ratchet shakes his head. "Spoke with him and his nephew Brad the GI Joe pilot while you guys were on this trip.""Second result: Dr. Rick Albrecht," Teletraan continues.
Swoop looks at the record. "Him am dead," he notes. "Pneumonia complications, 1974."
"Third result: Dr. Jacob Edelstein," reports Teletraan. "Fourth result: Dr. Gordon Lear."
"Teletraan," asks Sludge. "You am please return to third entry, Dr. Edelstein?"
Teletraan parses Sludge's request. "Affirmative."
"Thank you." Sludge nods to Teletraan. "Am need more data on Edelstein."
"Request received. Retrieving requested data," states Teletraan.
Swoop preens. "Me Swoop taught him Sludge all him know."
"Uh-huh," Sludge drawls. "Then me am ignore Swoop and read operating manual," he says with a smirk.
Optimus, Ratchet, and the other Dinobots chuckle while Swoop fumes at Sludge's quip.
Perceptor sighs. "Please stay focused," he says.
"Okay," says Sludge, returning his attention to Teletraan's monitor. "Teletraan: am need image of Dr. Edelstein."
"Retrieving...done." Teletraan displays a 1960s-era color picture of Dr. Edelstein.
Sludge studies the photo. "Thinking...age progression," he mutters.
Optimus catches Sludge's thought process. "Teletraan," he orders, "I need an age progression of this image of Dr. Edelstein by approximately twenty-five Earth years."
Teletraan performs the image age progression.
"Me Sludge not sure," says Sludge.
"I also remember what he looks like," Optimus counters, placing a hand on Sludge's shoulder. "Don't second-guess yourself."
The age progression finishes, morphing the image of Dr. Edelstein into the Seer.
Sludge stares at the image. "Wow...that am him!" he says in awe.
"Exactly," says Optimus, turning to Ratchet.
"You want me to contact Dr. Armbruster again?" asks the medic.
"Yes; you and Perceptor. Sludge," continues Optimus, "I want you and the other Dinobots to search for any other colleagues, associates, or friends of Dr. Edelstein."
"Why?" asks Slag.
Optimus turns to Grimlock. "Please explain it to him for me," he asks the lead Dinobot. "I must contact NASA immediately."
Optimus leaves Teletraan.
Grimlock turns to Slag. "Am need people who know him Dr. Edelstein to talk with Dr. Edelstein," he explains. "Am me Grimlock right, Perceptor?" he continues to Perceptor.
"Precisely," says Perceptor. "Unfortunately, Dr. Edelstein's vocabulary has deteriorated over the past twenty-five years, to the point where he sounds like a passage from the Holy Bible--or, as Sludge previously noted, like Charlton Heston from The Ten Commandments."
"Him Dr. Edelstein am have problems talking to us or Guardians," adds Sludge. "Have bad syntax like us Dinobots."
Slag nods. "Oh...."
"Him Slag still no get it," says Swoop, smirking.
"Me Slag understand fine!" Slag glares at Swoop.
"No! No am argue or pick fights today," says Sludge, scowling.
Scene: 10
Optimus groans at the Dinobots' search results. "This will not end favorably," he mutters as he contacts GI Joe Headquarters.
Sergeant Hauser answers. "Hello, Optimus Prime," he says.
"Hello, Sergeant. How are you holding up?" asks Optimus.
"Far better than I expected, thanks to Logan," Hauser says, smiling. "I've heard from Dr. Armbruster through Major Armbruster about Dr. Edelstein."
"I see." Optimus sighs. "Is General Abernathy available? I need to speak with him immediately about Edelstein."
Hauser notes Optimus' pained, worried expression. "I'll patch you through--it must be important."
In a moment, General Abernathy graces Optimus' monitor with a scowl. "What do you want?" he demands.
Optimus glowers at the general. "To get right to the point: it's urgent that I reach Leader One regarding one of the Guardians' Elba captives: Dr. Renard Braxis."
General Abernathy balks at the request.
"I recognize the difficulty in securing this particular individual," continues Optimus. "Unfortunately, the Autobots require his expertise. Also, he was a junior associate of Dr. Jacob Edelstein, who is currently stranded on an uncharted planet in a solar system past the Kuiper Belt."
"Braxis was a student of Edelstein's during the 1950s," says Abernathy. "They had kept in touch up until 1962, the same year Edelstein's space module disappeared."
"Acknowledged. Dr. Braxis may still be able to understand Edelstein's fundamental thought processes," says Optimus. "Then we and the Guardians may be able to get through to him."
"May I ask why you didn't simply bring Edelstein back to Earth?" asks Abernathy.
"We knew he was human," answers Optimus, "but we didn't know his identity until we researched it two hours ago."
"What would compel Edelstein to remain on this planet?" Abernathy raises a skeptical eyebrow.
"In my personal observations," states Optimus, "Dr. Edelstein had bonded with the planet's native inhabitants, as a Seer of sorts."
"You're not going to give me the full story, are you?" says Abernathy.
"I don't have the full story to give you, General," says Optimus.
"Then I can't help you." Abernathy shrugs. "Without more information than that, even I can't twist UNECOM's collective arm and have Braxis released. He's too dangerous--and too valuable--to allow any degree of freedom."
"I understand the danger," says Optimus, "but not the value."
"Given your...reluctance...to render meaningful assistance to your own allies," says Abernathy, "we've had to be creative in securing our strongest assets."
Optimus is silent.
"The Japanese are understandably cautious about protecting Dr. Fujiyama," continues Abernathy, "and that bastard Arkeville's still hidden somewhere on Cybertron."
"Autobot forces on Cybertron are diligently searching for Dr. Arkeville," says Optimus.
"That's good. Unfortunately," says Abernathy, "we don't have Lord Chumley because you meekly handed the asshole over to the Soviets--despite the fact that his abduction of your troops happened on US soil."
"Chumley stole the Soviet Union's experimental jet," counters Optimus. "No matter how much I personally wanted to ream the frag-off," he continues hotly, "I wanted to avoid an unnecessary international incident."
"Neither we nor the Soviets want World War Three, Optimus; I understand your perspective." Abernathy sighs. "The reality, though, is that Braxis is the only robotics expert I have any control over."
Optimus tenses his fists.
"If you must have him released, and you don't feel comfortable telling me why," continues Abernathy, "then you'll have to go through Leader One yourself."
Optimus snarls. "Leader One has actively avoided me."
"I sympathize." Abernathy smiles. "I'm sick of these end-runs we have to do because of that damn treaty Gobotron signed with the Decepticons. See if Turbo will work with you."
"Thank you, General," says Optimus. "Please take care."
"You do the same." Abernathy nods and disconnects.
Scene: 11
"It's an honor, of course, Optimus," says Kup. "I'm not sure if an important dignitary like Nanatsuro would bother listening to this pile of scrap, but I'll try."
"Just keep me on the line," says Optimus. "I know that Senator Nanatsuro assisted you during the Second War, and he openly opposes Megatron--common ground that he and Turbo share."
"Naturally." Kup laughs. "Turbo is Nanatsuro's grandson."
"Apples and trees, as they say on Earth." Optimus nods as Kup contacts Senator Nanatsuro.
Nanatsuro answers. "Nanatsuro residence. Boku wa Mamoru desu."
"Oi. Boku wa Kup desu." Kup grins.
"You." Nanatsuro returns the grin. "Why are you on my line?" he teases.
Kup laughs. "This dumb-aft is asking for a favor from an old friend."
"I was under the impression that your memory was completely shot," Nanatsuro quips.
"I get a few details mixed up, but the neurocircuitry still fires from time to time," says Kup. "How's that damn grandkid of yours?"
"He's still who he is." Nanatsuro shrugs. "We do see optic to optic on Gobotron, so there's common ground there."
"Good. To the favor," says Kup. "The Autobots need someone released from Elba...."
Scene: 12
Turbo smiles whimsically at Nanatsuro over the video link. "No."
"It's true that I received no details," says Nanatsuro, "but I can vouch for Kup."
"I know you can, Senator," says Turbo. "Unfortunately, the Autobots are asking the impossible. Optimus Prime clearly put Kup--and you--up to this."
"Has Dr. Braxis been placed outside your jurisdiction as lieutenant senior?" asks Nanatsuro.
"No, sir. It is within my power to release him into temporary Autobot custody," states Turbo. "The issue, however, is security."
Nanatsuro raises an optic ridge.
"I cannot--will not--let that loon roam free without a damned good reason," Turbo continues. "One sob story from Braxis to the wrong Autobot will make any temporary release permanent."
"I see," says Nanatsuro.
Turbo chuckles. "If that bastard manages to escape again, I will find and kill him. I'm not in the mood to deal with the likes of Braxis."
"Understood. Good day, Turbo." Nanatsuro bows.
Turbo returns the bow. "Good day, Senator," he says, ending the video call.
Scene: 13
"How is that Yankee LaFitte treating you?" asks Anya.
"Actually," says A. J., "I'm not usually in contact with him. I'm ordinarily deployed with an all-female unit."
Anya sighs. "Marines are still looking for a few good men, I'll bet."
"I became a Marine to serve my country, Doc--not to score political points." A. J. shakes her head.
"True; but the fact remains that you're breaking another unnecessary barrier in your country," says Anya. "Even though I'm a loyal Soviet patriot, I am proud of you."
"Thanks." A. J. stretches. "I wonder why UNECOM's gynecologist called us here."
"The lab ordered tests on us and Mrs. Newcastle about three weeks ago," says Anya. "My issue is that they were...." The scientist trails off as another woman enters the infirmary.
"Is this Dr. Young's office?" asks the woman.
A. J. nods. "How are you, Mrs. Newcastle?" she asks.
"Confused," Mrs. Newcastle answers. "I know it's a pregnancy test this lab ordered, but Hughes--Major Newcastle, that is--has been overseas for over three months."
"Da," says Anya. "As for me, I've only had my adult toys for company in the past six months. No good fucking for Dr. Anya."
A. J. stares at Anya in shock.
"There's no use being bashful, Corporal," Anya continues. "We are modern, independent women. Now, as for you...."
"Me? I've been deployed between UNECOM and my unit for the past four months," A. J. says.
"That is not going to stop a certain flying cyborg boyfriend of yours," says Anya with a knowing smirk.
"You can wipe that damn smirk off your face right now!" scoffs A. J., rolling her eyes.
"Please! It's an open secret that you and Turbo are with each other," says Anya.
"Even presuming that's true," counters A. J., annoyed, "I haven't been in sexual contact with any male in four months."
"Not even Turbo?" Anya gives A. J. a "don't lie to me" look.
"My only contact with Turbo involved helping him burn off alien worm blood," says A. J., exasperated.
"So that's where that nasty red smoke was coming from," says Mrs. Newcastle.
"Were you in contact with that smoke, ma'am?" A. J. asks.
"Only a bit. I had brought the boys over to visit their grandfather," Mrs. Newcastle continues, "and Raleigh was messing with a flap. I pulled Raleigh away, shut the flap tight, and took him to the infirmary immediately."
"Come to think of it," says Anya, "I was having a bout of butterfingers with that frozen alien blood sample I got from Pumper, and got a cut. I did follow the proper hazmat procedures."
"I got a whiff of that blood smoke too," adds A. J., "but I was inside the quarantine chamber with Turbo, so that was unavoidable. I had on my biohazard suit, though, so I should be safe."
Dr. Young enters the infirmary with Rest-Q. "I'm glad that you three could make it here," says the gynecologist.
"It sounded like an emergency," says Mrs. Newcastle, "so I came here as fast as possible."
Rest-Q sighs. "It is an emergency, I assure you," he states. "The three of you are pregnant."
All three women gawk at the Guardian medic. "How?" they demand in unison.
"Where do I begin?" Rest-Q scowls at the monitor as he pulls up sonograms.
Several minutes pass as Rest-Q explains the sonograms to the three patients.
"Impossible. I am on the Pill! Where is this baby coming from?" asks Anya, shocked at the sonogram.
"What kind of baby is that thing?" shrieks Mrs. Newcastle, staring at her sonogram in disgust. "That's not even a human embryo!"
"Precisely the problem. The paternal DNA is obviously not Major Newcastle's, or any of Earth's inhabitants', for that matter," says Rest-Q.
A. J. scowls at the medic. "Your bedside manner is horrible, Rest-Q. Please, just explain: what impregnated us?" she asks.
"The Devilspawn," says Rest-Q.
"Again, how?" asks Anya.
"It's quite clearly a Devilspawn embryo in your body, Dr. Turgenova," states Rest-Q.
"You don't understand. One, the Devilspawn was chopped into chunks of worm meat when it got here. Two," continues Anya, "I am on the damned Pill, so no unwanted baby--human or alien--should implant itself in my uterus."
"Or mine," adds A. J., shaking her head in disbelief. "My embryo's blastocyst is still dividing."
"You may have more than one developing," says Rest-Q.
"The three of you were in contact with the alien worm's genetic material," adds Dr. Young as she pulls up video of A. J., Anya, and Mrs. Newcastle's vital signs.
"I...don't understand." Mrs. Newcastle sits on the edge of the bed. "You're saying that I'm pregnant because I breathed in dead alien blood?"
Rest-Q nods.
"It's like a really bad sci-fi movie, ma'am," says A. J., laughing nervously.
"The Devilspawn's cardiovascular system doubles as its reproductive system," Rest-Q continues.
"Then Mrs. Newcastle and I breathed in burnt alien spunk." A. J. hops onto another bed. "This is crazy bullshit!"
"And yet the 'crazy bullshit', as you call it," says Rest-Q, "is precisely what--damn it!" Rest-Q notes an incoming transmission.
"It's one of the Decepticons," says Dr. Young. "He looks like Starscream."
"Skywarp," announces the Decepticon. "My name is Skywarp, fleshbag, and I need to talk to Rest-Q: now."
"You will not insult UNECOM personnel in my presence!" spits Rest-Q.
"Listen to me, you zarkin' frag-off, this is important," says Skywarp, serious. "It's about Small Foot."
A. J. glares at Skywarp. "We don't have time to deal with your relationship issues!" she says, seething.
"Small Foot's in Repair Bay Two right now, glitch," counters Skywarp. "Her firewalls flared up; they're under attack."
"What did you do to her?" A. J. demands.
"Nothing! If any of us had fragged Small Foot, you think I'd bother telling any of you?" Skywarp glares at A. J., irritated. "It's some nasty organic scrap trying to make her crank out a chipset, for the record."
"Enough! Patch me through to the Constructicons, Skywarp," orders Rest-Q. "I need more accurate data than you can give me."
"If it'll help Small Foot, fine." Skywarp complies.
Scene: 14
In Repair Bay Two, Hook summarizes his lab results to Rest-Q and the horrified humans.
"In short, the alien spermatozoa tricks the host body into accepting the foreign data--or DNA for you humans--as compatible with the host's ova," the engineer says.
"But how, Hook?" asks Rest-Q.
"What do you want from me?" spits Hook. "I'm the engineer; Mixmaster's the best one to explain the fragging biochemistry involved."
"Your bedside manner's even worse than Rest-Q's," A. J. notes.
Scrapper shrugs. "That Gobot and Hook went to the same engineering school on Cybertron. I don't know why Rest-Q ever decided to be a medic."
"I wanted to save people, you aft," says Rest-Q.
"You have your work cut out for you, then," says Mixmaster. "This Devilspawn is quite devious."
"How so?" asks Anya.
"Its sperm will trigger endorphins, pheromones, subconscious alpha states," says Mixmaster, "and whatever else will convince the host organism--that would be you three and Small Foot--that the invading encode data stems from an acceptable source."
Hook rejoins the conversation. "In Small Foot's case," he adds, "the Devilspawn's trying every trick in the book to convince her firewalls that its data is coming from Skywarp--or possibly a Gobot lover."
Pumper and Road Ranger burst into the infirmary.
"Ah, speak of the putative devil," says Hook, grinning at Pumper.
Road Ranger glares at Hook a moment, then turns to Rest-Q. "Where is Small Foot?" he asks the medic.
"She's actually at Deceptibase at the moment," says Rest-Q.
"If you sorry frags did anything to her," snarls Pumper, "I swear that--*"
"Give it a rest!" spits Skywarp. "I already rehearsed this slag with the humans--it ain't us!"
Pumper and Road Ranger glance at each other.
"We're coming over," states Road Ranger. Pumper nods, angry.
"Feel free." Skywarp shakes his head, seething.
Rest-Q hands Pumper three datapads. "That should get you up to speed. Have you contacted Leader One?" he asks.
"He and Turbo are both on the way here," says Pumper as he leaves. Road Ranger follows him out of the infirmary.
Scene: 15
"Turbo. You okay, Turbo?" asks Leader One.
Turbo stares dully at Anya's sonogram. "Why'd you just let Pumper and Road Ranger waltz out of here?" he asks.
"Not even the Decepticons are stupid enough to trifle with us at this point," says Leader One. "Are you okay?"
"I will be," answers Turbo, "when we return to that planet and waste every last fragging Devilspawn."
Leader One sighs. "This is my failure. I noticed the issue with the blood," he continues, "but failed to take all precautions."
Turbo rolls his optics. "So," he asks, "when do we start choking down all those Autobot 'I told you so' rants?"
"The hell with them," Leader One scoffs. "If Optimus Prime were competent, I'd be more likely to listen to him."
"Be that as it may," says Turbo, "Prime has tried to contact us for weeks. He even sicced the Senator on me to let Braxis out."
"Why?" demands Leader One.
"Still no clue. Even Guardian Intelligence hasn't cracked the mystery," says Turbo. "Red Alert's on his A-game today."
"It must be related to the Devilspawn," says Leader One. "Perceptor does have a sample of it, after all."
"Yeah. No human or organic visitors went into Autobot HQ since the Autobots came back with us--not even regulars like the Witwickys, Chase, or Banas."
"The Autobots on lockdown? This is bad." Leader One snorts. "I'll have to deal with Prime's posturing."
Scene: 16
"What's going to happen?" asks Skywarp. "How long will her firewalls hold?"
Hook stares at his monitor as Small Foot convulses. "They will collapse. Everything I'm doing to keep her defenses up is only a stopgap measure at best. The Devilspawn is extremely aggressive."
"Is that so?" Skywarp downloads data off Mixmaster's terminal, into a data drive. He nods to Road Ranger and Pumper. "Let's step outside."
The two Guardians glance at each other, then follow Skywarp out of Repair Bay Two.
The three mechs walk through Deceptibase in silence.
Pumper observes Skywarp carefully. This guy.... It's like he's a whole other...no. This is Subcommander Skywarp of the Decepticon Battle Fleet, the Cybertron War Academy graduate we'll have to fight sooner or later.
The two Guardians and Skywarp pass through the main control room.
Small Foot was never under any illusions, notes Pumper silently. I won't make the mistake of underestimating this guy, either.
Skywarp stops, turning to face Pumper and Road Ranger. "You need our assistance?" he asks, breaking the silence.
"We could use all the help we can get," begins Road Ranger, "but--*"
Skywarp cuts Road Ranger off. "You got it."
"You're confident in Megatron's generosity," Pumper says with a wry grin. "The Decepticons, as an army, have no stake in this."
"And," adds Road Ranger, "the Autobots already suspect that Megatron will want to use the Devilspawn as a weapon."
"He won't." Skywarp scowls. "I won't let him."
"That sounds treasonous to my audios, and I'm not even a Decepticon," says Pumper.
"I don't give a flying frag what it sounds like to anyone," states Skywarp. "I'm about to inform Megatron and Soundwave myself." He teleports away from the two Guardians.
Scene: 17
"The Autobots were wise to attempt to keep this information from us," says Megatron, amused. "It is only because of Skywarp's affection for our lovely Guardian guest that we have learned the truth."
Soundwave nods.
"Indeed," Megatron continues, stroking his chin, "the Devilspawn would serve as a fine deterrent to organic resistance--and a powerful tool against the Guardians' continued intransigence."
"Negative. Internal opposition," states Soundwave.
"From whom?" asks Megatron.
"Skywarp," says Soundwave.
"I see." Megatron tenses a fist. "It would be disappointing if he allowed his affection for the Guardian femme to blind him to his duty to the Cause."
Skywarp teleports into Deceptibase's ready room. Megatron's optics widen slightly.
"I'd never fail the Cause, Megatron," Skywarp says. "You know that."
"Then you recognize the potential power that we have in our hands," says Megatron.
"Yes. However," says Skywarp, "assisting the Guardians in eradicating these Devilspawn would be more advantageous to us."
"Nonsense, Skywarp," counters Megatron. "We have nothing to gain from assisting the Guardians. Furthermore," he continues, "this Devilspawn is a potent weapon to destabilize the flesh creatures."
"I thought you'd say that." Scowling, Skywarp hands Soundwave the data drive. "Check that out for me, will you?"
Soundwave studies Skywarp a moment, then nods while accepting the data drive. "Affirmative."
Megatron glares at Skywarp. "You openly oppose my plan, I take it," he says.
"That's a fact, sir. Oddly enough," continues Skywarp with a crude smirk, "it has little to do with your recent job performance."
Megatron looks toward Soundwave, then returns his focus to Skywarp. "The Guardian Pumper is correct; your tone is treasonous, Skywarp," he says.
"And like I told him and Road Ranger: I don't care. If you intend to do this, Megatron," continues Skywarp, "you can frag me right now."
"Is that so...?" Megatron's optics burn red as he lifts his fusion cannon. "Don't let your femme cause you to forget your place."
"I'm not." Skywarp narrows his optics at his leader.
Megatron fires a warning shot, which grazes Skywarp's shoulder. "Name one reason why I should even consider your opinions as anything other than the meandering drivel of traitors," he demands.
Skywarp folds his arms. "I can sum it up in two words, Megatron."
Megatron powers his fusion cannon to full. "Then pray that those two words will save your life."
"Cosmic rust," Skywarp answers without hesitation.
Megatron grins, shoots Skywarp just below the jetwarrior's laser core, then cocks his head to one side. "Fool. You forget that we managed to secure a cure for cosmic rust."
Clutching his wound, Skywarp drops to his haunches, then looks up at Soundwave with a pained smile.
Soundwave faces Skywarp. "Data analysis completed."
"Okay, Soundwave, tell me: if the Devilspawn somehow became technoorganic," asks Skywarp, grimacing in pain, "what would happen to Cybertron's population?"
"Total population of Cybertron: decimated. All Cybertronians will become extinct," Soundwave reports.
Megatron lowers his still-smoking fusion cannon. "You're not serious."
"That's Mixmaster and Hook's analysis," says Skywarp, "based on what will happen...if Small Foot's Devilspawn got out and decided...to frag any of us. Since Cybertronian...mechs and femmes can all crank out chipsets, it'll get...real nasty...." Skywarp collapses, succumbing to his injury.
Megatron stares at Skywarp's prone, fuel-leaking body. "Soundwave: summon Hook and have this idiot repaired."
"As you command, Megatron." Soundwave relays a silent message to Hook to take Skywarp to Repair Bay One.
"As to these ridiculous concerns of his," Megatron continues, "we must address them with field tests."
"Tests conducted," states Soundwave, handing Megatron the data drive.
Megatron scans the drive, then tosses it back to Soundwave. "These were all tested on organic lifeforms and the Constructicons' own data packets," he says dismissively. "This is not enough to convince me that the Devilspawn is worthless as a tool."
"Recommendation: voluntary conception," says Soundwave. "Variable and control required."
"Then conduct the experiment immediately," orders Megatron as he rises from his throne.
Soundwave nods, then exits the ready room.
Megatron shakes his head. My warriors are becoming more suicidally defiant by the day, he muses. I must redirect their fury toward appropriate targets.
With these thoughts in mind, Megatron leaves the ready room.
Scene: 18
Jazz enters the Special Ops room at Autobot Headquarters.
"How'd the secret get out to the Decepticons?" he demands. "Red's riding my aft."
"It wasn't our fault, Jazz." Bumblebee displays his console monitor. "Red intercepted this message--and he's asking questions about it."
Jazz reads the message. "This love note ain't any of Red's business. It's for our buddy Sling," he says, grinning.
Bumblebee skims the message. "That lucky frag. That femme really liked him."
"Just send Sling his mail, man--be classy." Jazz chuckles. "We know how much he values his privacy," he adds.
Bumblebee laughs. "Like there are any secrets here." He sends the message to Sling.
Scene: 19
Slingshot finishes reading an odd message, blushing.
Air Raid notes Slingshot reading. "Can I see?" he asks.
"No!" Slingshot guards the datapad with his message. "It's...private."
"Private?" Air Raid rolls his optics. "Dude, don't make me hack your brain."
"I'll kill you if you try, frag-off," says Slingshot.
"You're so secretive," Air Raid groans, leaving the Aerialbots common room.
Slingshot shakes his head. "I need my own quarters," he mutters.
Scene: 20
"Capricorn has been terminated for two lunar phases," Hook reports to Megatron. "And..."
Megatron glares at Hook. "What?"
Hook gives the Decepticon leader a crude grin. "We told you so. Skywarp told you so. Capricorn is dead," the engineer continues, "but the Devilspawn inside her is quite alive."
"Astrotrain is enroute to Sol as we speak," adds Scrapper, "to dispose of the Devilspawn-infected biohazard."
Megatron scowls. "Surely there is some countermeasure," he hisses, "something to kill the Devilspawn if we lose control of it."
Hook tenses his fists. There's no way to control this damned thing, he says to himself. We killed a skilled veteran jetwarrior to massage Megatron's absurd ego.
"Is there nothing?" continues Megatron, looking toward Soundwave and the three Constructicons.
"Deathwater," states Soundwave. "Biochemical enzyme of unknown origin dissolved within water on the planet where Devilspawn is located. Only known source of the enzyme is on that planet."
The three Constructicons seethe at Soundwave, willing the communicator's head to explode.
"We can replicate the Deathwater," says Megatron.
"The Deathwater will fry our reproductive nanites," counters Mixmaster.
"No matter," continues Megatron. "Remember, we can build new mechs."
"Megatron." Scrapper glares at his leader. "We have served you and the Cause faithfully for well over nine M-cycles. Our own creators--who rebuilt you, saving your life long ago--died to bring Devastator to fruition through us. We couldn't betray you if we wanted to."
"Oh, really?" Megatron grins at Scrapper, annoyed. "I seem to recall a rather idiotic conspiracy involving the six of you, Astrotrain, Blitzwing, and Starscream."
"When we have to deal with fallout from deranged schemes designed--designed--to fail and ream us in the aft," spits Hook, "how can you be surprised if even the most dimwitted of our ranks opts to oppose you?"
"Would you rather have Starscream lead the Decepticons off a cliff?" counters Megatron.
"There's no hiding behind Starscream's failures," says Hook. "Even with that, at least he gave us Bruticus."
"That doesn't matter." Scrapper shakes his head. "Our point is not to defy you, Megatron; but to impress upon you that the Devilspawn is too great a threat to the Cause to be of any use to us."
"The whole point of the Cause is to secure resources for Cybertron," adds Mixmaster. "With the Devilspawn as a factor, our numbers will dwindle to nothing."
"In order to replenish our numbers to prevent this self-genocide," continues Hook, "we'd have to halt all of our operations across the universe--which defeats our purpose."
"The Autobots would secure victory by default," states Soundwave. "Their objective is simply to halt our efforts."
Megatron narrows his optics at Soundwave. "You three: leave. Now!" he demands, ordering Scrapper, Hook, and Mixmaster out of the ready room.
The three Constructicons leave. Soundwave stands, silent.
Megatron strikes Soundwave with a brutal backhand. "You. You agreed with Skywarp all along."
Soundwave chuckles. "Affirmative."
"You should have said something!" Megatron hits Soundwave again. "Why did you allow me to expose my cable like a crazed fool?"
"Unintentional," says Soundwave. "Focus on independent operation: enemy elimination."
"We actually need to use the Autobots at present," says Megatron.
"Acknowledged. Operation is long-term," continues Soundwave. "Connected to terminated Decepticon Capricorn and her unrequited 'crush', Sling."
Megatron sighs. "Is this one of your multi-tiered projects that takes several cycles to come to fruition?" he asks.
Soundwave nods. "Objective: remove Aerialbots as adverse variable in conflict."
"Call Skywarp and our Guardian guests here immediately," says Megatron.
"As you command." Bowing slightly, Soundwave complies.
Scene: 21
"Let me get this straight," says Turbo. "You guys need Braxis to talk to the Seer, who was actually his old college professor."
Optimus nods. "Not only that, but we also need his scientific expertise. Between Dr. Braxis and Dr. Edelstein," he continues, "we can get to the bottom of this Devilspawn mess--and save not only that troubled world, but Earth and Gobotron as well."
"That means I can't kill the bastard if he gets out of line," mutters Turbo.
"If I can't kill Lord Chumley, you can't kill Dr. Braxis," says Optimus.
Leader One laughs ruefully. "You thought you couldn't stand me before," he says, grinning. "You'll hate the both of us for complying with your request."
The two Guardians and Optimus enter Elba.
"He can't be as obnoxious as Berger," says Optimus.
"Berger was a piker!" scoffs Leader One.
The three mechs arrive in front of Braxis' solitary cell, where the scientist sits, fully-dressed, with a thin smile on his face.
Turbo chuckles. "You don't know what you're in for."
END SPECIAL TWO
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Curse of the Devilspawn!