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The Kitty Katswell Show	By : Homeydaclowndasecond Category: +S through Z > T.U.F.F. Puppy Views: 7008 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own TUFF Puppy. Butch Hartman does. I do not profit from this fic.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Catch the Rat, Dumbass!!!
Well, since nobody didn't suggest, what chapter 2 should be. I guess, I'll have to come up an idea. Anyway, here's chapter 2 of; 'The Kitty Katswell Show'. I don't own TUFF Puppy. Butch Hartman does. I do not profit from this fic.
The Kitty Katswell Show was 'taped' in front of a 'live studio audience'.
It was a gloomy day in Petropolis. It looked like it was about to storm like hell, but enough of that bullshit, let's see what the TUFF agents are up to.
It shows a cover of a magazine, which was called; 'Doghouse Magazine', a parody of Penthouse Magazine. The magazine lowers, to reveal Dudley drooling at the photos.
"Oh god!" he muttered, as he drooled at the photos. "I would like, to get some of that!!"
Just then, Kitty walked into the break room, where the perverted mutt was. The audience cheered & applauded, as she entered. Ala 'Married...with Children', 'Sanford and Son' & all those older sitcoms, when the star of the show, enters.
"Well. Well. Well. Lookit what we got here." she said in a teasing voice. "A horny, perverted dog."
Dudley jumps up & hides the magazine behind his back. The audience laughs.
"What?" he asks.
"Was you reading that 'Dogpound Magazine' again?" Kitty asks.
"It's not called Dogpound Magazine, Kitty. It's called; 'Doghouse Magazine'!!" Dudley exclaims, as he accidentally showed the magazine to Kitty. "Get it right!!"
Then he stops, when he realized what he just did. He blushed a deep red, as the audience laughs.
"I thought so!" Kitty said, as she walked over to him.
"So, I'm readin' 'Doghouse Magazine." Dudley started. "It's not I'm doin' anything wrong, like me jerking off to a photo of you in your bikini!"
Then he stops.
"Dammit!!! I did it again!!!" the stupid dog said as he slapped himself.
The audience laughs, as he did this action.
Kitty looks at him, with a sly smile.
"Dudley. You love me, don't you?" she said in a teasing voice.
"No I don't!" Dudley sniffed, as he was blushing.
"Yes, you do." Kitty said, still in a teasing voice. "You love me. You want me. You wanna marry me."
The audience laughs & Dudley continued blushing.
"No I don't!!" he repeated.
"Yes you do. You wanna feel my boobs. You wanna slap my sexy booty!!"
Then Kitty starts slapping her booty, as the audience hootered & hollered erotically.
Dudley faints onto the floor from Kitty slapping her sexy rear. The audience laughs.
Kitty laughs also.
"Ha!Ha! Now, I can enjoy my break in peace."
Then she took out her laptop & started watching old 1970's Catxploitation movies.
Meanwhile, across town at the Diabolical Order Of Mayhem hideout or D.O.O.M. for short. Snaptrap and his merry men of morons, was sitting around, looking bored.
"So, does anyone have any evil plans that we can do?" Snaptrap asked.
"Uh, we can rob that Tvshack store?" Francisco suggested.
"No." Snaptrap said. "Tv isn't the big thing no more."
"How about, we impersonate as police officers and we arrest people & rob the bank?" Ollie suggested.
"Yeah." the others, except Snaptrap praised.
"No." put down Snaptrap. "That's sounds like too much work."
"How 'bout, we all make the beautiful people, all funny lookin'? H'yuck!" laughed a funny looking guy from the South.
Snaptrap turns to him.
"Funny-looking Southern Guy. You always suggest that."
"I know!" the southern freak laughed. "H'yuck!"
"God! What a fuckin' idiot!" Snaptrap faceplamed, as audience laughs.
Then he starts thinking.
"I got it! I say, that we rob all of the supermarkets & stores of their cheese. And then we bring all the cheese back here and put it all in a missile & blow up TUFF headquarters with it." Snaptrap explained, as he took a sip of water. "Is that an evil plan or is that an evil plan?"
The others looked at him.
"Well?" asked Snaptrap.
"Uh, that sounds like a great idea, boss." Ollie lied.
"Y-eah. It's absolutely great!" lied Francisco.
"Hmmpth!" Larry sniffed. "I like Ollie's idea better. It sounds like, his might actually work. And it doesn't involve with you destroying cheese."
Snaptrap glares at him.
"If you like Ollie's idea so much, why don't you marry it then, Larry!!" he shouted, as his eyes rolled crazily.
"I can't. I'm already married to your daughter." Larry said matter of factly. "Dumb ass."
"Just for that remark, you get to spend time in the shark tank!" Snaptrap shouted, as he pressed a button.
Then the chair Larry was in, tipped over into an open shark tank.
"I hate it here." Larry said, as he went into the shark's mouth.
Snaptrap dusted off his hands.
"Well, with that done. Let's go & steal that cheese!"
The funny-looking Southern freak runs up to Snaptrap.
"H'yuck! H'yuck! Can I go into the shark tank too?"
Snaptrap rolled his eyes and kicked the freak into the shark tank. The audience laughs.
"Now, we can go." Snaptrap said.
Back at Tuff headquarters, Kitty was back at her desk, typing something on her computer, when dumbass Dudley rushes up to her.
"I'm bored, Kitty!!" he hollered, as he grabbed her and shook her. "It feels like, I've been in here for years!!!!"
"Stop shakin' me, dipshit!!!" Kitty sniffed, as she slapped the shit outta him.
The audience laughs, as she did that.
Dudley held his aching cheek.
"Sorry, Kitty. I'm just bored to death."
"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" asked Kitty.
"Can you tell me a story?" asked Dudley, as he gave Kitty that sad puppy look.
Kitty growled.
"Once upon a time, I knocked a dog out with a keyboard! The end!!!" hollered Kitty, as she picked up her keyboard & held it in the air.
The audience laughs.
"That story wasn't long enough." Dudley said.
The audience laughs at his retardedness.
Kitty was about to beat Dudley into submission with her keyboard, when the Chief's voice was heard.
"AGENTS KATSWELL & PUPPY, COME TO MY OFFICE!!!" he said.
"Gee, I wonder what the Chief wants?" asks Dudley.
"Let's go & see." Kitty said, as she stood up. "Idiot!"
At the Chief's office. The Chief was holding some papers. His head was on a big ass monitor, so the agents can see him. Standing next to him, was Tuff's genius, Keswick.
Kitty & Dudley stands by the Chief's desk.
"Agents Katswell & Puppy." the Chief shouted. "I just got this memo about Snaptrap!!!"
"The bastard!!!" Dudley hollered.
Kitty pokes Dudley in the nose with a claw. The audience laughs.
"My nose!" Dudley cried, as his nose was bleeding a little bit. "You bitch!"
"Shut up and let the Chief talk!" hissed Kitty, as she turned to the Chief. "Continue, Chief."
"Thank you, Kitty." the Chief said. "You'll be gettin' an extra check for that action. Anyway, this memo says; that Snaptrap is planning on stealing all of the cheese from all of the supermarkets & stores. Put it in a missile & launch the missile and blow up TUFF headquarters."
"What? Again?" Dudley asks.
"Shut up, Dudley!!" Kitty exclaims, as she stands up. "Keswick. How much time, we got left?"
"An hour a-a-and c-c-counting." stuttered Keswick.
"OH MY GOD!!!" exclaimed Dudley. "That's when the Al Bundy marathon starts!"
Everyone looks at him.
"What?" Dudley asks.
"We're on it, Chief!" Kitty said.
"Good." the Chief said. "We're counting on you."
Then the two agents go off to stop Snaptrap.
The Chief looks at Keswick.
"Wanna get hammered?"
"It's a b-b-bit too early, for me to get d-d-drunk." Keswick asked. "You g-g-go ahead."
"Okay, then." the Chief said, as he took out a tiny liquor bottle. "Bottoms up!!"
He starts chugging the beer & the audience laughs.
The scene is on Kitty's car now. She and Dudley was speeding towards one of Petropolis' many grocery stores. Dudley was talking.
"So, which store did the Chief said, that Snaptrap's robbing?" he asks.
"How the hell, should I know?" Kitty asked. "Any of them."
"How many is; 'Any'?" asked Dudley stupidly.
"Well, by my estimate of how big the city is?" Kitty started. "It's about 2 thousand stores."
"2 thousand stores!?" Dudley exclaims. "This sounds like, it's gonna be an all day thing."
"Yeah. So?" Kitty asked.
"So? That means, that I'll miss the Al Bundy marathon." Dudley said sadly, as the audience laughs.
"Whatever." Kitty said in a bored tone, as the audience laughs.
Then Dudley starts sniffing.
"I smell, foot long hot dogs!!!"
Kitty turns to him.
"Dudley! This isn't the time for food. We got to stop Snaptrap." she snapped.
"I know, this store that sells them fresh daily." Dudley said.
Kitty smiles.
"You know what, Dudley. You're a genius."
"I am?" Dudley asked with a stupid look on his face.
"Yeah." Kitty said. "Just tell me to go, by followin' that nose of yours."
"Alright!!" Dudley exclaims, as he takes a sniff. "Keep goin' straight!"
So Kitty does.
A couple of blocks ahead. Snaptrap and co. was putting all of the stolen cheese into their big-ass pimped out truck.
"Ah ha!" Snaptrap laughed. "Now, my plan is almost complete. Stealing all this cheese & these foot long hotdogs, was easy as stealing money from the blind."
The others stared at him.
"What?" he asks. "It's not like, we didn't do it before. Now, let's get outta here, before those Tuff agents show up!"
Just then, as if on cue. Kitty & Dudley pulls up. They jumped out of the car.
"I don't think so, Snaptrap!" Kitty said. "You're not going anyway. Not on my watch."
"But I'm not on your watch!" Snaptrap said stupidly, as the audience laughs. "God! It seems like, this city's full of assholes!"
Then Kitty smiles deviously at the rat.
"Let's get 'em, Dudley! Dudley?"
Kitty turns to see, that the stupid dog was at the free samples table. The audience laughs.
Kitty rushes up to him.
"Dudley! What the hell are you doing'!!!"
"I'm gettin' some of these tasty pizza tidbits, Kitty." Dudley said, as he threw a pizza tidbit into his mouth. "They're delicious!!!"
"For the love of god!" Kitty exclaimed loudly, as the audience laughs.
Snaptrap realizing the advantage he haves right now, with Kitty & Dudley arguing, turns to his gang.
"Let's get in the truck & get the hell out of here!!!" he exclaims.
So they all get into the Doom truck & sped off.
"Now, stop bein' stupid & let's capture...." Kitty said, as she turned to see that Snaptrap & his goons gone. "Snaptrap."
"Oh great, Kitty." Dudley said, as he continued eating his pizza tidbits. "You let Snaptrap get away. And there's only."
He looks at his watch.
"50 minutes left, before the Al Bundy marathon!!!"
"Are you gonna keep doin' this?" Kitty asked. "Because, you're startin' to annoy me with that crap."
"Probably." Dudley answered stupidly, as the audience laughed at his stupidity.
"Besides, it's your fault. You and your damn pizza tidbits." Kitty sniffed in a angry tone.
"These pizza tidbits are good!!" Dudley said, as he popped another one in his mouth.
The audience laughs.
"C'mon!!!" Kitty shouted, as she grabbed Dudley by the mouth.
Back at Doom headquarters, Snaptrap's stooges was stuffing all of the cheese into the missile.
"Within minutes, everyone at Tuff headquarters, will be smothered to death in cheese sauce." he laughed. "Ha! What an evil plan!!"
"Uh, sure." Ollie said, as he put on a fake smile.
"Greatest plan, ever." Francisco said, hoping that Snaptrap give him a pay raise.
Soon, the missile was filled with the cheese. And it was ready to launch.
"Larry. Start the countdown!!!" Snaptrap ordered.
"Larry's still in the shark tank, boss." Ollie said.
"Dammit! I always have to do everything!!!" Snaptrap sniffed, as he pressed a button.
A mirrored disco ball, disco lights, and disco music started playing. The audience laughs.
"Oh shit! This is the '70's Night Button'!!" Snaptrap exclaims, as he was wearing a big-ass afro.
He presses another button & the countdown started.
"T minus 30 minutes, until launch." a robotic voice said.
"Ha!Ha!Ha!" Snaptrap laughed evilly, still wearing his afro.
"Uh, boss." Francisco started. "You're still wearin' your afro."
"So?" Snaptrap sniffed. "I like it! It makes me look cool!"
Just then, a wall exploded. There standing there, was Kitty & Dudley. She was holding a smoking bazooka.
"Not so fast, Snaptrap!!" she started. "I'm going to get your ass, this time!!"
"Oh shit! You're not gonna get me, Jive Turkey!" Snaptrap said.
"Jive turkey?" Dudley asked, as he turned to Kitty. "You don't look like a turkey."
The audience laughs at his stupidity.
"Shut up, Dudley." Kitty sniffed.
Snaptrap turns to his goons.
"Don't just stand there. Get those jivin' chumps!!!"
Then his men, started to attack Kitty & Dudley in pure 70's fashion.
"Damn! There's a whole lot of 70's jokes in this chapter." Kitty muttered, as she took out a small bomb. "So, they wanna play that game huh. I'll play with them, alright!!!"
She throws the bomb onto the floor.
After the smoke cleared, Kitty is wearing big hoop earrings. A brown fur coat, red shirt, black pants, black boots, & a black afro. Ala Cleopatra Jones. And Dudley was wearing a pimp's hat & was holding a pimp cane.
Kitty was known as Catapatra Jones now. And Dudley was known as 'Big Dudley P'.
"Attack the suckas, Big Dudley P!!!" Catapatra Jones/Kitty shouted.
So 'Catapatra Jones'/Kitty & 'Big Dudley P' started fighting. Kitty threw several punches, thus knocking the weapons out of the henchmen hands.
Then she did several karate chops on some of the goons' heads. Knocking them out cold.
"Dudley, get Snaptrap!" Kitty called out. "Dudley? Dudley!!"
She turns to see, that Dudley was eating some of the footlongs that Snaptrap had stolen.
"Footlongs at last!!!!" Big Dudley P exclaims, as he took a bite from his hot dog.
The audience laughs.
Kitty stares at him.
"What?" Dudley asks.
"Catch the rat, Dumbass!!!" Kitty shouted.
"Yes, ma'am!!!" Dudley saluted.
"Ah, ha! You're too late, Tuff agents!!!" Snaptrap exclaims, as he pressed the launch button.
"Countdown cancelled!!!" said the robotic voice. "Launch missile to desired target!!!"
"Say goodbye to your fellow workers!!" Snaptrap laughed. "Ha!Ha!Ha!"
"Oh my god!" Big Dudley P exclaims. "He's gonna blow up Tuff headquarters! And I'll never gonna see that Al Bundy marathon!!!"
"Don't fret, Dudley." Kitty said. "I'll stop the missile and you stop Snaptrap!!"
"But how?" Dudley bitched. "Those hot dogs are so distracting with their delicious smell."
"There's a hidden laser on the top of your cane." Kitty said. "Just lift up the little diamond on top."
So Dudley lifts up the diamond, that was on top of his cane. A laser beam shoots out & breaks a window.
"Cool!!" Dudley said.
So Catapatra Jones went into her huge afro & took out a her own missile launcher.
"Gotta fight fire. With fire."
She launches her missile, to the cheese-filled missile.
It hits it, and knocked it off its course.
The cheese missile then goes down in a peaceful neighborhood.
"Ah ha! Bullseye!" Kitty said, as she put up her missile launcher back in her afro.
"Good job!" Dudley said.
Then he stops.
"Oh yeah."
He shoots Snaptrap in the leg.
"My leg!!!" he hollered, as he held onto his hurting leg. "I will plot my...."
"Shut up!!!!" Kitty sniffed, as she stuffed Snaptrap's afro wig into his mouth.
The audience laughs, as she done this.
"Good work, Catapatra Jones." Big Dudley P said. "Where did that missile land anyway?"
"Oh, it landed somewhere, where someone I hates, lives at." Kitty said, as she put the cuffs onto Snaptrap.
The cheese missile had landed and destroyed The Chameleon's stone house. He was all covered in cheese.
"I don't get this joke." he said.
Then a piece of the missile lands on him, knocking him unconscious. The audience laughs.
Back at Tuff headquarters. The Chief was congratulating Kitty, who was back in her normal attire, for stopping Snaptap again.
"Congratulations, for stopping Snaptrap from blowing up Tuff." The Chief said, a little tipsy from drinking earlier.
"Thank you, Chief." Kitty said.
"You & agent Puppy did a s-s-splendid job." stuttered Keswick. "By the w-w-way. Where is he?"
"Guess?" Kitty said, as she rolled her eyes.
It shows, Dudley sitting at his desk. Watching the Al Bundy marathon.
"Ha!Ha!Ha! That Al Bundy's funny!!!" he laughed, as he ate his hot dog.
"What a fuckin' idiot!!" Kitty said, as she turned to The Chief. "Sometimes, I wondered why you hired him."
"Sometimes, I think about that myself, Kitty." The Chief muttered.
"Sounds like, two c-c-certain people, been drinking the H-H-Haterade again." Keswick said.
The Chief & Kitty looks at him.
"W-W-What?" Keswick asks.
"I'm surprised, that you know what Haterade is." Kitty said.
"Hey!" Keswick sniffed. "Just because I'm a nerd, doesn't mean, that I don't use the h-h-h-hip lingo."
"Whatever." Kitty said. "Let's just end this chapter now. Good night,...."
"Shut the fuck up!!!" Dudley shouted. "I can't hear Bundy!!!"
Kitty then goes over to Dudley & beats him upside of the head with his tv.
The audience laughs & applauds.
"Anyway." Kitty started. "So long, folks!! Make sure, you review for what you want in chapter 3."
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The Kitty Katswell Show