Adult-FanFiction.org : Cartoons

Fairly FlawedParents	By : FairySlayer Category: +1 through F > Fairly OddParents Views: 28990 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own "The Fairly OddParents" and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
In Dimmsdale, Tang Gets You!
Timmy sat glumly in the passenger seat of his father's car as it pulled up to the Tang residence. “Now, Timmy, don't look so sad. Just try to make the best of it,” Dad cheerfully told him
From the back seat, Vicky piped in, “Yeah, I know I'm gonna enjoy myself tonight.”
All three looked out the windows at the Tangs' mansion, covered with a giant tarp and all sorts of flashing hazard signs around the perimeter, caution tape hanging between them. Two big tanker trucks had backed up onto the yard, with hoses streaming into giant fittings on the tarp. A solitary worker in protective gear came out from under a flap in front.
Dad lowered Timmy's windows as the worker, in full biohazard suit and mask, approached. “Are these the Guinea pigs, er, kids who'll be house-sitting?” a raspy muffled voice asked through the reflective face shield.
“Yesiree!” Dad answered.
Vicky got out of the car and then yanked Timmy out through the open window, barely giving him time to grab his bag. “Have fun, you two!” Dad called out before driving away.
Vicky marched straight up to the covered mansion with Timmy still in tow. The worker followed closely and, when Vicky got to the entrance flap, offered, “Let me take that for you.”
“Oh, thanks!” Vicky handed Timmy to the stranger before pulling up the flap. Suddenly, the worker grabbed Timmy tightly, covering his mouth and nose with one hand. As a thick fog billowed out and engulfed the three, Vicky turned around to cough and ask, “Hey, are you sure it's...? Huh!?” Vicky's head snapped back a little when she noticed Timmy's predicament, but then she smiled. “Oh, isn't that fun!? I can keep him like that for almost four minutes...”
Before she could finish bragging, the worker turned sideways and butt- bumped Vicky into the house. The attacker then zipped the tarp while still suffocating the little boy. The babysitter's coughing and complaining could be heard from the inside as the mysterious figure dragged the struggling boy away. “Hey, where *cough* are the lights? Where's the *hack* fridge? I'm hungry! And the satellite *cough* dish'd better be *hack* working under *cough* this tarp... Maybe I'll just *cough* take a little nap here *cough* on the floor....”
After getting away from the fumes, the worker let go of Timmy's face and let him breathe again. He gasped and coughed while being lowered to the ground into a sitting position. The worker got on one knee and cupped his face while stroking his hair through the thick rubber gloves. The frightened little boy came back to his senses quickly, looking back at his captor in terror. The buck-teethed boy pulled himself away and tried to back up, but he was too weak and disoriented to even stand up. He started yelling out, “Help! Help! I'm being kidnapped!”
The suited figure backed away a little at first, waving open-palmed hands back and forth in an effort to get Timmy to stop, but the little boy's eyes were closed tightly as he kept yelling anything which might get someone's attention. “Fire! My hot teenage babysitter's in trouble! Michael Jackson's got me! He took my purse! Italian shoes half off! You're not my daddy!”
The worker suddenly grabbed his shoulder and pulled him in close, scaring him badly enough to stop screaming. Timmy stared at his own reflection in the face mask, fogging it up with his own heavy breathing. Then he realized something truly horrible: he now had a raging hard-on, and he was literally scared stiff that someone would see it.
The figure breathed heavily and slowly, heightening Timmy's terror, and then began to speak slowly. “Timmy, I am not your father, I am your...” The figure quickly let go of Timmy and pulled the mask up, revealing Wanda's face. “Fairy godmother!” Her suit popped open and fell back, leaving her standing on the ground. She leaned forward and embraced him. “I'm sorry I scared you, sport, but I didn't want Vicky to see me.”
Tears streamed down Timmy's face as he hugged her back in relief. “But how? What about your night with Cosmo? And...”
“Well, you were trying so hard to be nice for me and Cosmo and I had to go and mess it all up. So this was the least I could do,” she explained. “Hmmm, that does seem kind-of backwards, doesn't it?”
“So, I just need to take back my wish and everything will be back to normal, right?”
She inhaled sharply and answered, “Well, there's a problem with that. You see, since you never actually made that wish, you can't un-wish it. So, the only way to un-do it is to file a special request form with Jorgen...”
“And then you'd be in trouble all over again,” Timmy cut in. “Can I at least wish to have all the dangerous fumes out of Trixie's house?”
“No need, really, 'cause it's mostly fake,” Wanda said cheerfully. “As you suggested, I'm going light on the magic tonight. So, the equipment was just an illusion...” With that, the signs, trucks, tarp, and suit faded away. “And the 'chemicals' are just concentrated air freshener....”
Thick fumes wafted out of the mansion's few open windows and doors, filling the night air with a sickly-sweet smell before dissipating into the starry, moonless sky. Wanda helped Timmy up and they walked towards the front door. Timmy's nose cringed as he caught a passing whiff of it. “Oh, and so there weren't really any brain- eating worms, either.”
“Oh, well, actually...”
“What!?” Timmy gasped.
“Don't worry, sport,” she reassured him. “There was only one, and it's unlikely it could have found Vicky in all that smog. She'll just have to sleep off the Fair'breeze and recover – that stuff's powerful!”
They entered the foyer, where Vicky was snoring loudly on the ground. Neither noticed that her face was redder than usual and her breathing was labored. Inside, the artificial sweetness from the fairies' air freshener were fighting the nastiness that she was made of, so her ickmune system was fighting back extra-hard.
“So she'll be okay when she wakes up?”
Wanda answered, “Come morning, she'll be back to her old self again.”
“Oh,” Timmy said while looking down in disappointment. He noticed that his little friend was still a bit hard, so he thought about finally finishing what he'd started that afternoon. “Anyway, I suppose you want to hurry back to Cosmo now. Thanks for helping me. Bye!”
“Well, it's weird, Timmy, but Cosmo still hadn't come back before I snuck out,” Wanda said while dropping a blanket over Vicky. She then started to put a pillow under the teenage girl's head when she noticed something in the vile girl's ear. “Uh oh.” She pulled out a lifeless pale worm with sharp little fangs. “Aww, the poor thing starved to death,” she lamented. It disappeared in a small poof as she returned to Timmy's side.
Behind them, the evil babysitter's blood boiled, quickly breaking down the pure and fresh essences that had permeated her foul body. Her light snores started to sound more like growling. Drool oozed out the side of her mouth, turning the fluffy pillow under her head hard and lumpy. Her perspiration coated the inside of the blanket, breaking down it's fibers into millions of scratchy tangles.
“Oh, I'm sure he'll be there soon. He could be there already, uh, so you'd better get back,” Timmy pressed while waving goodbye.
“Timmy, it's okay! I left him a note telling him what happened and to come here,” she reassured him while placing a hand on his shoulder. “It's not like I can leave you all by yourself now. You wouldn't have any fun.” She guided him towards the grand staircase.
“Yeah, no fun at all,” Timmy muttered as his pecker went completely limp. He reluctantly trudged upstairs with Wanda. “I don't know how we're gonna have any fun in Trixie's room. It's probably all girly 'n stuff.”
“Trixie's room? Can't you just use their guest room?” Wanda asked as they reached the top landing.
“That's a good idea,” Timmy answered. “But no. Maybe I can find out what she likes or some of her secrets.” He hurriedly pushed open the door to her room and flipped on the light switch. “Oh yuck!”
Trixie's bedroom was huge. It had pink walls covered with pop- idol posters, shelves full of stuffed animals, and a bookcase of junior romance books. In the center of the room was a huge fluffy four-poster bed, complete with a tied-up pink veil, a frilly pink and yellow bedspread, and at least six big fluffy pillows. Even her desk was light pink with cutesy animals sponge-painted on its sides. Noticing two more doors, Timmy looked inside one to find a closet. He searched for a few minutes but only found lots of dresses and blouses, a rack of headbands, at least two-dozen pairs of shoes, a plain baseball jacket, and a blonde ponytail wig hidden in the corner under a few baseball caps.
Wanda was nervous with his snooping. “Are you sure it's okay to be doing that?”
“Like my dad said, I should make the best of it,” he optimistically replied. Then he went to her dresser and tried a few drawers, finding only makeup, socks, etc. There were a bunch of blue jeans which were quite worn out and even torn in places, including a pair that looked very familiar. The middle drawer was locked, so he figured that's where she kept her underwear. “Nuts!”
He moved on to check out the other door, opening it and flicking on the light. “Ugh!” was his first reaction as the bright lights revealed Trixie's private bathroom. It had diagonally cut pink and light-blue tiles running halfway up the wall and covering the edge of the large tub; the rest had Beatrix Potter-themed wallpaper and a floral border. The white porcelain toilet had a thick, pink fuzzy cover on it, making him wince as he remembered how they made toilet seats fall on his most-tender part as a toddler. Next to that was something that looked similar to the toilet, but it had no seat or lid and the handle was mounted on the wall.
There was a huge vanity around the deep Corian sink, with most of the top covered by beauty products and implements. The mirror above was framed with at least thirty different lights of various kinds, with a control panel to select which kind of lighting to simulate. Next to that, there was a shower stall enclosed in glass, which was etched with cutesy animals and other storybook themes.
“Wow, this is gorgeous!” Wanda cried out as she flew over to the vanity and began checking out Trixie's beauty stash. “Let's see: Bonne-Belligerent anti-adolescence cream, Parfum de Fille Impertinente, Beginner's Botox, Forever Nine lip gloss... Oooh, tanna leaf extract!”
Even more disappointed, Timmy turned to leave when he realized something. “Hey, why is there a shower and a bathtub?”
Wanda shot a quick glance his way in the mirror and answered, “That's not a bathtub, Timmy, it's a hot tub. You should try it. It make all your worries disappear. Pretty neat, huh?”
“Oh, I guess,” he said unenthusiastically as he went back into her bedroom. He sat on her white wooden round-back chair, noticing that even it had a super-soft pink cushion tied to the seat.
Timmy suddenly had an epiphany: this same soft cushion probably held Trixie Tang's beautiful bottom hundreds of times, cradling it tenderly to keep it so soft and beautiful. The thought of touching it himself made him inhale deeply and sigh. That, in turn, made him notice her gentle fragrance lingering throughout her bedroom. Maybe things had turned out all right after all.
Feeling a bit better about everything now, he tapped the shift key on her computer and the screen lit up. A notice immediately appeared: “You have 42 messages waiting; 21 marked as urgent.” He clicked for the list and saw that most were from Veronica, so he scrolled through to see a lot of Are you there? and Why don't you answer me!? rants.
Another read, “I am Trixie Tang!... Oops -_-' wrong window!” There was even one that chilled him right to the bone: “Isn't Timmy Turner a total freak? I mean, I'd seriously make out with him, marry him, and have his babies just to keep him from bothering you all the time if he wasn't, like, so totally gross 'n stuff. You know what I mean?”
Timmy immediately closed that window and brought up her games folder. “H-Games – what's that? Must be about horses or hair or some other really girly thing. *click* Oh, Unreal Tournament. *click-click* Hey, I wonder what this Fashion War Accessory Module is... Choose team? Hmm, I'll be an Autumn today...”
- 1
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Fairly FlawedParents