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The Dethdealer	By : SamhainVoodoo Category: +M through R > Metalocalypse Views: 1206 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Metalocalypse or its characters. They belong to Brendon Small. I am not making any money off of this.

Chapter List
- 1-The Dethdealer
- 2-That Voodoo you do
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- 2
Her back still burned from the brand. She had requested her brand being in the middle of her back, between batwing tattoos, seeing how she had a tattoo of the eye of Horus on the back of her neck. When she made the initial request, it was to be denied until she said her Horus tattoo was for religious purposes. Ofdensen really didn’t want to deal with potential law backlash and agreed to amend the placement of the sacred brand.
She arranged her room with her pot plants, having them sent to her personally from her home, along with the rest of her effects. She had a very odd assortment of glass bottles filled with more than just different flavors of pot. She also had a large caldron in the center of the room.
Nathan Explosion was walking down the hallway when he stopped at her room in curiosity. The amount of shrunken heads, bones, skulls, and other oddities creeped him out, yet impressed him at the same time. Samhain turned towards him and he immediately jumped at her discolored eyes. She didn’t say anything, but continued to wrap cloth around what looked like a Voodoo doll in her hands.
“I do not like this.” Was all Nathan said before he backed away slowly and retreated down the hall.
As the days went by, the new gears kept out of the way for the most part, however there were certain times that the lady gears made their presence known. Toki flat out refused to go into the dungeons anymore for fear of hearing something about an emancipation proclamation being shrieked out by a female voice in Murderface’s room. The concept of a female being in his room was the part that freaked him out the most.
Ofdensen had his hands full with the new ladies. He supposed it was only inevitable that this sort of thing would happen with the surplus of the female recruits. However, he wasn’t used to being the one with a personal stalker.
A girl with wavy brown hair and glasses would stealthily stalk him every so often. She was very pretty, from what he could tell since she made herself as hidden as possible. She was benevolent and he never got the feeling that he should be afraid for his life or anything, but it was a weird thing for him to get used to none the less.
Samhain seemed to be the braver one of the new gear ladies. Many times he’d seen her walking through the halls without uniform, or in the main kitchen making her own meals rather than in the Gear Mess Hall with the rest of the Klokateers. He’d remind her about wearing her hood, but he never did see her follow orders, and he wasn’t quite sure how to go about reprimand.
The one good thing that he could say about her, however, was that she was a hard worker. Many times she worked other jobs for the benefit of Dethklok, since her official job didn’t require her undivided attention.
Like any other day, Dethklok was in the main living room. Skwisgaar was idly strumming his guitar while Toki played a round of Dance Dance Revolution on intermediate. Nathan read the morning newspaper while Pickles and Murderface sat on the couch and fought over what to watch on television. Pickles was in no mood for the History channel.
A crash outside the living room caught their attention and Nathan turned his head in time to see Samhain running down the hall. He blinked and wasn’t exactly sure if she was wearing pants while she was running by. He also had no idea why she was running.
“Guys, is anyone else creeped out by that chick?” He asked, unable to return to his paper. He also had to clarify to whom he was referring, since there were quite a few of the new girls that gave them the creeps. “The…uhh…skulls and bones and stuff in her room is cool and all… but seriously. That chick….fuckin scary.”
“Sche’sch probably got voodoo dollsch of usch and schit. Fucking schoul schtealer. Sche'sch schtealing our schoulsch for real! And then putting them in thosch dollsch!"
"She does have dolls. That's um kinda brutal and all... but guys. We can not have our souls stolen."
"Doods, she's like hef blaind, yanno. 'N she grows awesem pat." Pickles spoke in her defense, being the only one who had actually met her.
"Scho?"
Nathan winced as he heard another crash followed by a loud thud outside the living room. He growled in annoyance and screamed to know what was going on, adding obscenities to emphasize his annoyance.
Samhain peeked her head into the room and slowly approached, tugging her top down to try to cover her exposed bottom. Her lime green thong panties were visible through the mesh of the hockey jersey she was wearing. She grinned foolishly, blushing slightly and her nose was bleeding. Bruises were starting to form lightly on her face, which gave hint to what some of the crashes and thuds they heard were. Apparently, her depth perception really was bad after all.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Nathan demanded, snarling. Samhain opened her mouth to answer but before she could, the gear known to Dethklok as number 9055 but known to the gears as Toasty, ran screaming into the room and tackled Samhain to the ground, paddle in hand.
"Thought you could out run me, bitch!?" Toasty triumphantly cried. Dethklok could only stare at the scene in bewilderment. Skwisgaar stopped playing his guitar in mid-stroke.
"What the fuck is going on!?" Nathan screamed causing both Samhain and Toasty to jump to their feet and snap to attention.
"M'lords! I'm sorry, Toasty and I were playing a game while we were cleaning around Mordhaus." Samhain responded, embarrassed. "She was doing her job of Corpse detail and I was helping her dispose of the dead bodies, m'lord. Then the game started and kinda got out of control. It won't happen again!" She kept her eyes downcast as did Toasty, with the exception of the latter girl occasionally sneaking looks to Murderface and smiling. He, however, was not amused and was a little put-off by a small doll hanging from her jean's belt loop.
"Argh I knew it!" He exclaimed, pointing at the doll that was blatently a smaller version of himself. "Fucking Voodoo doll schoul schtealin sons of bitchesch!" He rose to his feet in anger, shaking his fist at Toasty who's eyes had widened in shock.
"Ja deys ams the soul stealers!" Skwisgaar exacerbated things by agreeing, yet still not paying much attention to what was going on.
"How are we soul stealers again?" Toasty asked, extremely confused. Her and Samhain stood by each other closely, nervous in the presence of the irate Dethklok members.
"Yous ams steals our souls wis yours voodoo ands puts what ams voodoo dolls!" Toki joined in the conversation, also not really paying attention but wanting to feel included nonetheless.
"You think we know Voodoo?" Samhain asked.
"Don't you?" Nathan asked. Samhain paused for a second then just smiled at him devilishly, not answering his question. "I um saw your room. It's pretty brutal. Where am I going with this?" He was suddenly very torn as to whether or not he thought she was cool or terrifying. "Wait, who are you again?"
"Gear Number 667 or Samhain, M'lord. Dethdealer to Dethklok and worker of odd jobs.
"Ooh likes 'Sowwens' what ams festival ofs the deads?" Toki asked on the origin of her name. She blinked at him and cocked her head to the side, impressed that he was the only person who pronounced her name correctly.
"Actually, Toki, yeah you're right. Wow, no one's ever known that before. It's another title for 'Halloween' back in the old days--"
"Isn't that a band too?" Nathan interrupted her history lesson. "Like back when Danzig was you know, someone."
"I suppose."
"You kinda remind me of punkins. Like Halloween punkins. I want a punkin pie now. Hey, one of you go tell Jean Pierre to make me one."
"Ja and brings back ans sandwich for me." Skwisgaar requested. Toki jumped at the sound of food and also requested the same type of sandwich as Skwisgaar, which angered the Swede to be copied.
Toasty and Samhain looked at each other for a moment, but agreed to bring them back food. Samhain tugged at her jersey again and said she'd look for her pants first and began to exit when she was stopped suddenly by Skiwsgaar.
"Sams-hain," he called mispronouncing her name. She didn't care either way. "No pants." He added with a smirk, knowing she had to obey him as part of her job description. She blushed furiously and walked very quickly from the room.
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The Dethdealer