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Memory Burns
By : sickindulgence
Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > AU/AR-Alternate Universe-Alternate Reality
Views: 3211 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. - Chapter List
A/N: Hope you guys like a wall of text :P I'll upload some more tonight.
Dib slept for two days.
That was another thing people always said about death. In their grief, they became insomniacs, but Dib found it to be just the opposite. All you have to do is drink a fifth of vodka. Then it becomes very difficult to stay awake. He chuckled to himself. People were so stupid.
Of course, his job had given him personal time. A week to settle things, process paperwork, balance the books and so on. Dib had called the family lawyer as soon as he heard and instructed him to do all that bullshit. No fucking way he was touching any of his father's papers.
Several cards had arrived, some heartfelt, many somber, all in the trash. He didn't know any of those people, raving fans of Membrane and his work. His coworkers had also sent cards. They were in the bin, unread. He was in no mood for false sympathy, and even if some of them were real, he didn't care.
He rolled over in his bed, grabbing at the bottle on the nightstand. He missed, and it rattled hollowly on the wood. Empty, nothing but fumes as a calling card. Dib sat up, feeling dizzy. He grabbed the bottle roughly, staring at it.
What is it like, to know you are dying? Not only that, but to die alone. Dib wondered if it had all been a mistake. What if he'd really wanted to tell them, but the infection was too quick? Dib imagined a pained, frail old man, lying on his hospital bed, pressing the call button frantically. Could it be? Dib’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t think the Professor had made a single mistake in his whole goddamn life. No, Membrane knew full well what he was doing. The nurses told him they hadn't noticed the infection until after he started coding, which meant he’d hidden the signs from them actively. He wanted to go.
In his life, his father and he had never been close. They wanted different things from each other. But…would that drive him to death? And as a man of logic and reason, he knew perfectly well there was nothing there on the other side. Dib believed this as well, knew it in his heart. So how can you just check out?
Pain…it was a good persuader. It pushed and pushed until you didn't know why you even bothered. Just let your heart stop, you say. Let your blood run, let your brains out, let yourself leave…
He often thought of it himself. He had a gun, just an old Walther P99 bought off the street. He knew how to tie most knots. Worst comes to worst, there was always glass…good heavy glass, like from a window or a bottle…
Setting the vodka down, he sighed and got up. There wasn't much open this time of night, but he knew a little place across town that was open 24 hours. Maybe they even had the brand he liked.
Grabbing his trench coat, he slipped outside and into his car. He was still feeling a bit dizzy, but no cop would be out this late. It was black as pitch outside and going on three in the morning.
Dib sank into his driver’s seat. He liked to drive. It was calming. The car slid along the road, quiet. No radio, no music, just him and asphalt. The buzz was thick inside his skull and he felt both too light and too heavy at the same time.
This was another way. Another way out. He always thought that if he really meant to do it, it would be in a car. Maybe a crash, as long as it was a good one. He liked driving fast, and if he was in a pretty good car, something to get through the guard rails, he could take it along one of those windy roads with a cliff on the side. Just whoosh…adios.
Dib was so lost in thought, he almost didn't notice the huge green fireball shoot up into the sky, destination space. Course, it would be hard to miss something like that and really he was in no danger of missing it, because it was huge. Dib looked up from the yellow line with heavy eyes and gasped. He stared. He gaped at the sight and for the first time in days his father and his death were not in his mind.
Of course, neither was the ancient oak but an inch from the side of the road, but he collided with it anyway.- You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
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