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Obsessed	By : Legacy Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > Het- Male/Female Views: 6240 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Title: Obsessed

Disclaimer: Invader Zim and all their characters don’t belong to me. They belong to a much more creative man and yada, yada, yada…

I’m lost…

I’m passing through the hallways shoving bodies in my wake, trying desperately to forget all of what occurred just moments ago. His scent, the lingering tingle of his hands and lips along my skin, it still rings echoes in my body, forcing me to move.

And I run.

I don’t stop at my locker, I don’t get my bag; I just go. “Hey Gaz!” I hear the delightful pleasant greeting from my dull-witted moronic brother, but I don’t stop to deal with his stupidity I have go I have to leave. I’m bursting through the school doors and still I go. Faster and faster I run, till everything I recognize gets lost and yet still I run.

As if I can outrun reason, I run. As if I can outrun reality, I run. As if I can outrun the feelings, the sensation, the heat, the want… As if I can outrun the memory of him, his touch, his words, and the overwhelming bliss I felt when I was calling his name when he made me…

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!” I shouted out at the top of my lungs unleashing all the frustration and anger that was brewing inside of me like a storm, driving me to insanity, driving me to madness. And after a few moments it was all over.

I fell to my knees. My breath came out in short pants as I braced against a tree. The violet tresses of my hair fell along side my face like a crown as I closed my eyes. For a few moments I simply breathed. I could hear the echoing of my breaths inside me as I tried to clear my thoughts. A faint kiss of wind caressed my face as I breathed in slowly. I noticed a faint hint of something. The flowery fragrance of dandelions and daffodils or something washed against my nose as I opened my eyes.

I stared around, finally taking notice of my new scenery. I was in the middle of a lush green park somewhere, surrounded by several different hues of flowers. “Beautiful…” I whispered to myself, as I noticed the colors and the different textures. I’m mildly surprised by my own admittance. I never cared about such things in the past but for some stupid reason I notice it now. And maybe it wasn’t so stupid after all.

I breathed in again allowing the serenity of the scene to fill me. It eased the racing pulse of my heart as I continued to breath. After a while I simply I brought my knees up to my chest and just watched all the beauty that was around me.

I didn’t leave that spot till after nightfall.

OoOoOo

It was well after dark when I returned home. As soon as I entered the door, Dib was there with a thousand questions, all of them stupid. “Where was I? Why did I run off like that? Where have I been?” All to which were promptly ignored. There was only one destination I was seeking: my room and more importantly my bed.

The door harshly slammed behind me, most likely on Dib’s face, as I crawled onto my bed. After an hour or so the shouts from Dib’s noise hole ceased leaving me in blissful silence. But awake I remained, left alone to the million and one thoughts that were buzzing within my head. All to which I had no answers to, which of course brew up even more questions.

With little warning the sequence of day, night and day, washed over me. My game console was not touched. A Bloaty’s Pizza was left unmolested. Before I even realized it, the weekend passed me by and I hardly even noticed. I didn’t really consider it’s meaning till I remembered the start of another day of school was slowly approaching.

There was never a day I dreaded more than that.

OoOoOo

I drifted behind Dib as we walked through the neighborhood. The irritating wailing of my brother’s voice was rattling on and on about something I didn’t care about as usual. Normally, I would have threatened him or simply stuffed his shoe into his mouth with him still wearing it. But today my mind was elsewhere, probably still locked in a dusty broom closet with a psychotic alien.

It wasn’t till he started to pull on my arm to ask if I was listening did I finally act. My foot came out striking his knee at the perfect angle that if I placed bit more effort into it, it would have shattered, I then yanked his collar down so he could look straight into my cold dark eyes. “Quiet…” I softly warned him, which was all it took to settle him down.

We walked the rest of the way to school in beautiful silence.

OoOoOo

To be honest that felt good. It felt really good. It almost felt like everything was going back till normal. I almost believed that too, that was till we entered school and I saw him again, Zim.

My heart then started racing, my legs felt weak, all of my body was going haywire and all of that was just from me happening to spot him. “Stop…” I whispered to myself, trying to will my body to control. I bottled everything down, all the insane thoughts, and troublesome notions. I stopped everything I was feeling so I could produce what I needed to deal with him. An emotion I could hold faith in, the only one I could trust; blind uninhibited rage.

Within an instant I left my brother’s side and was behind Zim just as he was turning away from his locker. His fake lens-ed eyes locked with mine just seconds before my fist collided with his jaw. “Zim!” I growled slamming him back up against his locker. I balled up his shirt in a tight fist, while bringing him down to my eye level, “If you touch, speak or even look at me ever again, I will destroy you. Do you understand me? I will spend every waking moment making your world a living nightmare!”

For several moments he didn’t say anything. Neither did anyone else to be honest. It was like they were spellbound by the violence I produced. But they could all go to hell, because nothing that they believed or did even mattered. Just this.

I watched as a myriad of emotions swam over Zim’s face. Shock initially, confusion, but most of all hurt, which I found surprising and yet didn‘t bring me any joy. But the one thing I was hoping for but yet I didn’t see from him was anger.

In a blink all of that passed and something else was displayed, something I couldn’t figure out. It was as if he came to a conclusion, like the world opened up to him and he finally understood everything. He then moved, deliberately slow, deliberately intentional, his hand tenderly caressing my face. He was so gentle, even gentler than the time when we spent together, and despite myself I felt my cheek getting hot. “I dare you,” he whispered into my ear challenging, and my whole body felt like it was on fire.

He then guided me to him. My eyes instantly locked onto his lips. He was going to kiss, me I realized and my God, why did I almost want him to, even here in the hallway in front of everyone. Just to give in one more time…

Instead I sharply slapped his hand away and turned from him while leaving, “I will kill you…” I warned while departing. I had to leave now or in another moment I wouldn’t have had the strength to.

I passed by my brother whose mouth was gapping open like a fish. “ZIM!” he finally responded. But Zim didn’t pay him any attention; his eyes were only of me. Which of course infuriated Dib even more “You stay away from sister, you-you-you…ALIEN!” he feebly returned, his fist waving threatening. I think initial shock from our exchanged temporarily placed his dial on: stupid. I returned a moment later to retrieve the embarrassment that I unfortunately had to be related to.

As I was leaving Zim spoke, “Challenge accepted, Gaz-human,” he returned to my fleeing form, “But Zim will wait. I will wait for you Gaz,” he said softly making sure only I would hear. And that was the last thing Zim said to me.

OoOoOo

True to his word, if that means anything, Zim did stay away.

He kept his distance at lunch. If we saw each other in the hallway, he would turn around and take a different route. He would even stop his fights with my brother if I were coming in range. He’d simply allow the subject to drop and politely leave. Which naturally eased Dib’s fears tremendously, if little else.

And now here I am. For three long weeks it was perfect, I was completely Zim free and yet for some reason I feel even more miserable.

OoOoOo

I’m lost…

Hours have passed since skool ended and I’m still lying on my bed. Another day has drifted by me and I took little notice. Ever since that day three weeks ago my life seems like everything has been on a standstill.

All my thoughts…I keep thinking about him. Ever since that day, ever since that stupid day that I did the most idiotic thing possible and now I can’t keep him out of my mind. I don’t know what possessed me that day. I should have ended him. I should have sent him to oblivion. I should have destroyed him where he stood.

What was I thinking? What am I, insane!

And why did it have to feel so fucking good!

That last thought was what was most agonizing of all.

It was supposed to be a joke. A stupid joke! I was supposed to tease him about wanting something he could never have, but instead somewhere along the lines he kissed me. No…Fuck! No, I kissed him. And that’s where everything went wrong because I didn’t stop and I didn’t want to stop. Because it of how it felt.

His hands, his lips, his…DAMMIT!

He made me feel! He made me feel, everything!

I’m not supposed to feel. I’m not supposed to care. Everything is supposed to be stupid and annoying and I only deal with it because I have no choice. I’m forced to. Dib’s annoying voice! The moronic kids at skool! My inattentive father, who doesn’t see young woman that’s growing right in front of him! I tolerate it all, because I have to. And what I can’t tolerate, I just break.

Destruction…Heh, I’m good at that.

But he took that away. Zim took that from me. And for a brief moment, he made me face myself. He made me feel like everything I didn’t want to feel like. For a brief moment, he shined a light into my cavern of infinite darkness and actually saw the fragile human woman that dwelled inside. In that moment he made me do something I didn’t think was possible, he made me let go.

He opened my eyes to the actual beauty and hideousness of everything in the world. Where my bubble of indifference and brutality couldn’t protect me, where was I left naked, defenseless, but then he pulled me into his arms and for some reason that was just enough. I felt safe and I just let go…

I HATE HIM!

I hate him for making me feel this way. I want to brush it off, I want to just forget about the whole damn thing, but I can’t! I hate him because it felt so good to let go. Just to forget about everything and to be within the moment. Now I’m lost. Nothing I do now has any meaning anymore, because all I want is that feeling again! I want that feeling with him.

He ruined everything, because I can’t go back. I notice now, how lifeless everything really is. I can’t go back and I don’t know if I even want to anymore. And now I’m here on my bed staring at my ceiling thinking about him again. Thinking about his scent, his touch, and how it felt when we were together. When we both were… And he was inside…

“AAAARRGGHHH!!” I yelled an instant later; the pillow I was rested on gets hurled across the room. The cushion gets reduced to a feathery massacre. I’m only grateful that Dib’s out with his girlfriend Zita right now, or I’d have him to deal with. And I don’t have the strength for it right now.

I go to the mirror in my room and a hideous person stares back at me in the reflection. My purple locks have split ends. My amber eyes have bags under them. My chest could be fuller; I could have a better figure. But he said I was beautiful. He’s crazy… Or I’m crazy…

“Stop…” I whisper to myself, trying once again to reign in all these warring feelings within me. I breathe slowly as I comb my hands through my hair. The few tangled knots break away, as my fingers rest along my neck. For a moment I stare at the white skin there. Absentmindedly, I feel along the side of it where he left his mark on me. The wound has finally healed but the memory would forever remain. For a short time the world would have been able to see I was his…and I liked it.

I’ve been on dates before. I know how my looks I affect regular guys my age, but for some reason from the start it was different with him. I was afraid. Honestly afraid. Not that he would hurt me, no. But that look in his eye, it said something, something other than the million boasts he’s claimed in the past or his mild fits of insanity. I saw desperation, I saw desire and I saw want. And the most terrifying thing of it all, I saw it was directed only towards me.

Now he casts his eyes away from me, whenever I get near him. He goes the other way if I’m walking down the hall. He’s given me exactly what I asked him and I can’t stand every second of it. A part of me wants to rip every limb from his body off, but another part of me wants him again. It wants him to touch me, to kiss me, to lay me down and make me feel the world all over again.

“Stop…” I whisper to myself. I’m losing it again. I stare at my reflection one more time and as if something inside me clicked I knew my answer. “He will pay…” I whisper to myself as if the haze that clouded my sights for the last few weeks finally parted. The answer was simple, with him gone, with his existence erased only then could everything that I’ve lost could be restored. Only then would the balance be restored and my life can resume.

Drops of rain fell from the sky as I reached my front door. A crackle of lightning flashed overhead adding to the darkness that was fueling my mood. Today it everything was going to end.
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Obsessed