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Losing Control	By : GabrielC Category: Transformers > G1 > AU/AR Views: 4231 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformer. I make no profit from writing this

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Home Comforts – Sequel to ‘Sore Loser’
Part 1 - Medbay

Ratchet leaned over his patient. Wires and energon in-feed cables were connected to the prone mech’s arm. The support machine bleeped occasionally, letting the medic know his patient was still functioning. He sighed as he made adjustments. He had been in the med bay for the entire day since Prowl’s return. The seekers really had worked him over. Ratchet had fixed most of the physical injuries some of which had even shocked him and were going to require discussion with Prowl himself. To be able to carry out complete repairs on some of his more delicate systems, he needed to know exactly what the seekers had done to him. He glanced down at the recharging SIC, he had seen similar injuries before and it didn’t take a medic to know what the stains were on his chassis. Sighing again Ratchet initiated the reboot sequence. He was not looking forward to this.

****

Optimus Prime sat in his office, it was late and he was still going through data pads of reports. Covering for his second in command had doubled, no tripled his work load. He’d had no idea that Prowl had taken on so much, yet nothing was ever delayed or left unfinished and the dutiful tactician never complained.

He dropped one of the data pads onto his desk with a clatter and rubbed his optics tiredly. Taking a moment he buzzed Ratchet’s comm.

//Optimus… why am I not surprised that you’re still up?//

Optimus allowed himself a thin smile. //Could say the same of you.//

Ratchet grunted though the comm. A moment’s silence.

//How is he?//

//Alive… he’s not out of the woods though…//

//Woods?//

//Human expression… he has a long way before he recovers from this.//

//How long?//

//I recommend he remain off duty for at least two weeks. I’ve repaired most of the physical injuries but…//

//…Ratchet?//

//I don’t know how he’s going to react mentally. Will need to keep an optic on him… I have no doubt he’ll try to repress it and he’s stubborn enough to work against orders…//

Optimus was grim.
//Can I speak to him?//

//I’ve started the reboot sequence. I will comm. you when I’ve had a chance to talk to him… You should get some rest.//

//I’m fine Ratchet really…//

//Don’t pull that slag with me Optimus. Get some recharge, you can’t help him by running your systems dry.//

//That an order?//

//If it needs to be.// He paused. //You’ll be the first to know when he’s online.//

//Thank you Ratchet.//

Optimus cut the comm. and suddenly felt the weight of fatigue engulf him.

****

Ratchet sat at his desk to write his medical reports. His optics felt heavy. With a tired groan he rested his helm onto his folded arms and slipped into recharge.

He awoke with a jolt some time later. Looking across at his patient he heard a faint choked groan. Getting his bearings he headed over.

Prowl let out a pained moan, his arm trying to lift from the berth. Ratchet took hold of his hand gently and felt Prowl tighten his grip. His optics flickered online.

“W…where…?”

“It’s alright… you’re in the med bay.”

“Ra… Ratchet?” He turned his head slightly to focus on him.

“Yeah it’s me… how do you feel?”

“Unngghh… felt better…”

“Do you remember what happened?”

Prowl grimaced as he tried to move, everything hurt. “Yes… everything.” He shuttered his optics and tensed, shifting slightly on the berth.

“Can you tell m…?”

“No!” He snapped. Looking at Ratchet, he sighed softly. “I… I don’t wish to speak of it…” He held Ratchet’s firm gaze, his tone definite. The medic’s face was grim, unreadable.

“Alright…” Ratchet rested a hand on his shoulder. “When you do…”

Prowl gave him a terse nod.

“I have to comm. Prime he wanted to know when you were awake.” Ratchet straightened as he contacted his leader. Looking back down at Prowl, he gave him a thin smile. “He’ll be here shortly.” Ratchet made to move back to his desk, he felt Prowl’s hand tighten around his, he turned back. Prowl’s optics were dark, he stared at the ceiling.

“Please… please stay…” His voice was barely a whisper. He glanced at the medic. Ratchet opened his mouth to speak but then decided against it. He smiled and nodded as he seated himself beside the berth, keeping hold of Prowl’s hand.

****

Optimus arrived some time later having been delayed by numerous incidents. Wheeljack’s explosive emergency almost taking out the lab, much to Perceptor’s ire. The twins playing a prank on Bumblebee which left the yellow scout stuck in quicksand in the desert and Ironhide threatening to blow the pit out of them when he got hold of them. Prime paused outside the med bay, taking a deep unnecessary breath. He rolled his optics, how Prowl dealt with such things every day was beyond him, he was definitely going to have to speak about his workload.

He entered the med bay briskly, greeted by Ratchet’s notable snark.
“You took your sweet time.” The clearly irritated medic glared at him accusingly.

“Sorry… hectic day…”

Ratchet grumbled and headed back into his office. “Five hours… I’ll be there soon he said… Five fraggin’ hours… who knew one mech could become so irritating in so short a time…” He slammed his door loudly, shaking the walls of his office.

Optimus was left frowning, his face mask hiding his gawping expression. He glanced over at the occupied berth. Prowl lay quietly his hands clasped over his torso, his optics offline.

Optimus didn’t want to disturb him while he was recharging and sat himself beside the berth, relishing the peace and quiet of the med bay. Leaning back in the chair he offlined his own optics and fell into recharge.

Ratchet watched from his office and shook his head with disapproval. “Never fraggin’ listen… it’s a wonder them two can command anything.”

****

Prowl stirred and found Optimus sat beside him his head dropped forward in recharge. He winced as he pushed himself up to sitting slowly. The movement awoke his leader. Optimus’s optics glinted as he smiled at his tactician.

“Good to see you’re awake.”

“Likewise Sir.” Prowl answered quietly, his deep voice still hoarse, his vocal processor still strained.

“How are you feeling?”

“I feel like I am ready to leave… Ratchet said that I could rest in my quarters.”

“Humph…” Ratchet approached them. “That is after you decided to tell me I wasn’t doing my job efficiently enough.” He growled.

“I didn’t mean it like that…” Prowl protested calmly. The medic held up his hand and turned to Prime.

“He can leave. He does not work for two weeks.”

“What?” Prowl started to argue as he pushed himself slowly from the berth but was cut off by the once again irritated medic.

“You are ordered to rest and recover. If I find you working I will drag you back here myself and strap you to a berth.”

“Ratchet is that really necessary?” Optimus tried to diffuse the situation. The medic turned his temper upon him.

“Barely an hour after he came back online… he was telling me how to do my job… if he disobeys my order I will show him just how efficient I can be. Now get him the slag out of my med bay before I put him in stasis!”

Prowl stood stony faced as Prime glanced at him. “It’s alright I was leaving anyway.” His door wings were held high as he stalked his way from the med bay. Optimus went to catch up to him, Ratchet grabbed his arm concern now written over his features.

“Optimus… he may seem like he’s back to his usual self but… keep an optic open… he’s going to need all the help he can get… whether the glitch admits it or not.”

Optimus smiled and nodded. “I’ll do what I can.” He followed his tactician into the base.
****

Prowl paused for a second upon leaving the med bay the sudden movement made him feel dizzy, nauseous. There were few mechs about of which he was glad of, he glanced down at the stains on his armour and felt a shudder wash through him. He needed to clean badly, he also needed energon. Clenching his fists he headed to his quarters.

He bumped into Jazz and Ironhide on the way, who were more than elated to see him. Their loud chattering and good natured pats on the back made Prowl tense. He had barely managed to form a few words before excusing himself rather rudely and practically sprinted back to his quarters. The shame of how he looked filled his cortex, the memories of how the stains got there assaulted his CPU. He rushed into his quarters and leant against the door his air intakes coming in short rasps. He shuttered his optics tightly but could not rid his mind of the flashback of images that replayed in his head. He moaned softly as he relived the attack on his body, bringing his hands up to his head he clutched his head tightly, willing the flashbacks to stop. He cried out in despair before dropping to his knees. Resting his forehead on the floor he waited for the episode to pass.

Picking himself up, he stumbled into his private wash area and turned on the water. The hot fluid soaked his frame, he couldn’t remove the stains as hard as he scrubbed, they were dried and he was weak from lack of energon. He cried out in frustration and punched the wall several times until a couple of tiles cracked. Letting out a faint sob he pressed himself against the cold tiles. His body trembling from the effort, he sank to his knees once more and wrapped his head in his arms as the images of Starscream and the other seekers threatened to overwhelm his cortex.

****

Prime knocked at Prowl’s door, his sudden disappearance worried him, especially after bumping into Jazz and Ironhide and hearing about his odd behaviour. He unlocked the door using his overrides and stepped inside.

“Prowl?” He called out, the room was dark. He heard water running in the back room. Not wanting to intrude but needing to satisfy his concern, he headed to the shower room.

He rapped on the door and peered in, the room was filled with steam. “Prowl are you in here?”

A faint whimper sounded in front of him, he stepped forward nearly tripping over the ‘bot still curled on his knees on the wet floor. He knelt beside him and took hold of his shoulders. “Prowl… speak to me…please…” He felt the tremor beneath his fingers and frowned. Prowl mumbled to the floor, his normally even voice cracking.

“Make them… stop…get them… off me…” He looked up at Prime his optics pleading. “Please…”

Optimus took hold of him gently and lifted him to his feet. Prowl was tense his head hung low, his paint was scratched where he’d tried to remove the stains. At that moment Prime was overwhelmed with sympathy. He grabbed hold of the rough cleanser and gently squeezed Prowl’s shoulders.

“I’ll help you… I’ll clean it off… ok?”

Prowl nodded weakly unable to resist the kindness despite his ingrained sense of embarrassment and shame of being washed by his commander.

He offlined his optics as Optimus positioned himself behind him and began with his back, hot water spilled down them both as he gently scrubbed the armour plating, making sure to get every stain. Prowl remained completely still, only occasionally flinching. Optimus’s warmth was comforting, Prowl felt safe. He tensed as he felt strong hands take hold of one of his door wings and begin wiping it down slowly. He let out a small gasp as the movement sent shivers through his sensor net.

Optimus smiled a little when he felt Prowl start to relax. His trembling faded as he moved round to the front of his chassis and cleaned the silvery dried stains from his chest, his arms before kneeling in front of the tactician to clean his legs.
Prowl opened his optics to glance down at his leader, whose optics were focused on his legs. He felt ashamed that it had come to this, but he couldn’t bring himself to move away from Optimus’s soothing touches. He sighed as the water washed over him. Optimus stood and faced him his optics narrowed in a smile. Prowl couldn’t speak, he tried and failed his CPU struggling to come to grips with the overwhelming emotions he was being assaulted with. How was he ever going to get through this? He felt despair and his head dropped to his hands as his knees gave way.

“Whoa… I got ya…” Prime caught him and held him close as he felt Prowl grip onto his armour for support.

“I… I’m sorry…” Prime’s optics widened in shock, he lifted Prowl’s face.

“You have nothing to be sorry for… you have done nothing wrong…”

“But… but… to be reduced… to this…” Prowl hissed quietly dropping his forehead onto Optimus’s chest. Optimus was unsure how to react, the hot water spilled over them both, he knew how inappropriate it was but he couldn’t not help his second in command, his friend. Optimus sighed and gently wrapped his arms around Prowl’s frame. “You are much… much stronger than you know…”

Prowl’s CPU glitched as the emotion won him over, he let out a whimpering sob, barely audible over the rushing water and held onto Optimus even tighter.

There they remained, Optimus gently stroking Prowl’s back his neck and occasionally drifting to his wings, helping him relax, keeping him close. Prowl moaned a few times, neither one of them felt the need to speak. Prowl glanced up at his leader just once and caught his optics, their faces close enough to feel the hot air passing through their air intakes, Optimus’s fingers were idly stroking the seams of Prowl’s door wings creating sparks of tingling energy ghosting through his sensor net.

A moment passed both mechs holding on to the comforting touch of the other, Prowl’s fingers subtly digging beneath Prime’s chest armour. It was Optimus’s turn to tense. Prowl could feel the heat coming from them both, mixing with the trickling heat of the water, he knew he wasn’t thinking straight but he wanted... wanted something right now... some comfort that he knew he would never, could never ask for.

His hands drifted up to Optimus’s face and with a faint click the face mask retracted. Prowl bit his still injured lip as he took Optimus’s face with both hands, he felt the larger mech tense and grip him a little tighter unsure whether to resist.

“Prowl... I...”

Prowl shook his head the ghost of a smile on his mouth he leaned forward and pressed his mouth against Optimus’s and simply held him there his glossa gently brushing over Optimus’s lips, who parted his mouth with a soft mewl in response, still somehow trying to resist Prowl’s advances. He didn’t want to reject him, but was it what Prowl really wanted, could he let this happen? A dozen thoughts ran through his cortex before he felt Prowl deepen the kiss. He growled softly and pulled him close returning the affection, his own glossa exploring Prowl’s slowly, gently tasting him as hot water trickled down their faces into their mouths.

Prowl moaned as he felt Prime relax and hold him tighter, he didn’t question why he’d acted, or what was happening for the first time in his life he just was... and his CPU hadn’t glitched in the process, he felt whole for that brief moment. He pulled away burying his face into Optimus’s neck, his fingers remaining locked beneath his leader’s armour, he sighed and felt recharge finally take hold of him.

Optimus felt Prowl going limp in his arms. He turned off the shower and dried him off carefully before lifting his officer up bridal style and carried him to his berth. Optimus gazed down at the recharging tactician and let two fingers idly brush his cheek. Taking a deep intake of air he poured a cube of energon and left it beside the berth before leaving Prowl alone to rest peacefully.

****
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Losing Control