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Two Of Us	By : endofoblivion Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > Slash - Male/Male Views: 5194 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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TWO OF US: Chapter 2 - Beginnings

***
The grass had faded. His eyes traveled to the left where Skool had been, then to the small hill where Zim's house once stood. Yes, these dreadful fields filled with nothing but memories and grass had once been the neighborhood of his childhood. Now the wheat that whispered in the wind was the only other witness to that fateful day, when Zim had arrived on a mock mission to invade earth.
Besides his arrival, the most important thing Dib remembered was the day he and Zim had become friends. It had been almost two decades ago when he had another hair-brained scheme to reveal the Invader's true purpose. He could almost hear the evening crickets and smell the summer day as the lights of a past he loved flashed in front of his eyes like an oncoming car.
***
A rabbit was crushed on the sidewalk its innards spilling out onto the road, a poor unfortunate victim of some yuppy's car. In the gathering twilight, the many crows that lurked in such suburban paradises haunted the power lines above it. Dib camera in hand, scurried across the lawns that separated his house from the Alien Invader's; hopping over the rabbit barely paying it heed while a very happy crow, after his steps had faded, swooped down to peck at the dead creature's flesh. There were no heavy thoughts in his head on this night. He was full of energy, excited and elated. After all the waiting and watching, tonight was the night his dreams would come true.
"This is going to be so rich!" Dib squealed.
The planning had taken months, the preparations seemed almost endless but somehow through incredible skill (or sheer dumb luck); Dib had managed to construct a device that would knock out everything that stood in his way from exposing to the world that real live aliens had come to earth. Oh it was just too sweet, what with his dad working on that sonic wave experiment and stuff just lying around that he needed. The sonic device itself he had implanted deftly after a brief dodging spree with the laser laced lawn ornaments, stabbing it into the grass and quickly leaping like a mad jumping bean to avoid the deadly light show; as it dug into the earth resting unseen just beneath the ground. With a flick of a switch it knocked out the gnomes, allowing Dib to escape unharmed and flick the defenses back on before Zim was the wiser. Irken defenses along with every thing else the Irken's had made, depended on sonic waves to balance out the electric pulses sent through the machines by whatever means their power source came from. He hardly understood the details only that disturbing these wave thingies actually worked. With this he could knock out anything Irken as long as he wanted, he had even fashioned himself a cute little handgun that could expel a quick burst in case of emergencies.
"You're the best handgun," he said in a cutesy voice rubbing it fondly.
So, with his newly implanted device, and a quick flick of its activation switch he managed to make it past the gnomes through the creepily decorated living room, beyond the smelly couch and into the bowels of the fake automated toilet chute. Chucking his handy rope down the tube he prayed to whatever powers that be no one in the house had noticed the mild power diversion from the security system. Grasping the gun in his teeth, Indiana Jones style, he slithered down the rope quickly as possible gleefully finding himself in the very heart of Zim's base. He crawled out of the chute far above the computer and nestled himself into the membrane like coils of the base shell. There he could tape unseen while Zim went about his world destructy business. He flipped the digital video camera out of his backpack, making sure to put in a nice empty memory card into the slot.
"Wouldn't want to run out of tape during the moment of glory," he cackled to himself.
Just then Zim strutted into the base straight legged and cocky as always humming some crazy tune.
"What's it gonna be master? Huh huh?!" shrieked the little robot.
"Today my dysfunctional robot friend," he sneered, "we regroup to start our newest plan. But FIRST we must contact our TALLEST!"
Zim flicked on the comp screen, unaware that while doing so Dib was shitting bricks in anticipation. He was going to see the Tallest! Those enigmatic Irken leaders he had only previously heard about.
The huge video screen came to life casting shadows all around the base.
"My TALLEST!" Zim began melodramatically, "the operation with the pig meat has failed," Dib shuddered remembering THAT stupid mess up, "but do not give up hope. I INVADER Zim have concocted a truly grand scheme worthy of your consideration."
"Uh..." Tallest Red looked up only just realizing Zim was even on the line.
Tallest Purple was still stuffing his face with nachos when he turned around almost dropping the plate at Zim's monstrous mug on the video screen, "hey Red? What's he doing up there? I thought we got rid of this guy ages ago!"
"Look... Zim…" Tallest Red began, "maybe this is hard for your tiny head to understand but..."
"I know I know," chortled Zim, "you want to reward me for my efforts on the frontlines of the earth invasion."
Dib smacked his forehead. How slow could an alien invader be?!
"Umm...no," tallest Purple said emphatically.
"Actually Zim we don't like you," Red pointed his claw at Zim, "we never have. And we'd really appreciate it if you'd go away!"
"Yeah!" whined Purple.
Zim just looked terribly confused.
"But my Tallest...is my progress not pleasing you?" he stammered.
"What progress?? There hasn't been any progress in the six years you've been here!" Red sighed exasperated, "Zim pay attention for once in your Irken life. We don't care about you, in fact we sent you to Darth or whatever your stupid planet's called so you wouldn't mess up our plans."
Once again Zim's eyes were awash in clueless-ness. Red's eye twitched and Purple slapped his hand to his forehead in frustration.
Very slowly he said, "So...you aren't going to reward me?"
For a moment Tallest Red looked like he was about to explode. Purple gave him a friendly pat on the back with a "there there" look.
"Zim you have been stripped of your Invader status! Your academy privileges have been revoked. DO you get this?" Red shrieked, "YOU ARE NOT AN INVADER ANYMORE!!"
"Geez Zim we didn't think it'd take you this long to figure out," Purple moaned.
"I'm not an...wait a minute you mean...I'm an exile?!" the notion finally caught up to him.
Dib was almost laughing. Wow that took a while, and when it finally did reach whatever brain Zim had in his little body it seemed to hit him like a ton of bricks.
"No Zim, no you're not. Ever since Operation Impending Doom 1," Red finished.
The little alien's eyes had grown huge and looked shinier then normal. Dib stopped his mental laughter and suddenly, inexplicable felt kind of bad. It looked like Zim was about to cry and even though the whole pretend purpose of his mission was to destroy Earth, Dib couldn't help but feel a little sorry when someone's dream, hell, their whole purpose in life was stripped away from them in an instant.
Red chuckled bitterly, "it was too much trouble to knock you off, so we just sent you to some stupid planet hoping to distract you long enough so the REAL invaders could get some work done."
"Yeah," Purple agreed, nodding his head emphatically as a new pile of snacks was placed in his hand by one of the com managers.
"But I thought," Zim whimpered.
"Forget what you thought," said Red, "You're not an invader anymore. So...go away! And don't call us anymore."
"Yeah! Geez. I stand by my initial statement! You're creepy Zim! Consider this your last call from the Irken Empire. Good bye and good riddance!" laughed Purple.
A round of cheers could be heard from the com operators.
"Buh-bye Zim!" Red cackled.
The com screen went static.

Zim stared, long hard and irrationally at the glowing whiteness. What could have been going through his head at that instant? Dib couldn't even imagine. So the whole time Zim's leaders didn't even care if he lived or died. As much as he was doing a little happy dance in his head, deep down to Dib that seemed really sad. And poor Zim, who appeared to not know what to do with himself after that hefty information, just kind of stood there looking dumbly at a blank screen. His eyes if it were possible had gotten larger while his little antennae had slunk down like a defeated puppy's ears.
"But...," he said in the most pathetic voice Dib had ever heard, "I'm an...Invader..."
Unbeknownst to Dib while he was enraptured taping the com panel, Zim's robot servant had somehow managed to crawl up to his hiding place to ask a very pressing question that had popped into its insane little brain.
"WHY IS YOUR HEEEAAD SOO BIIIG?" screeched Gir.
"EEP!" Dib squealed. He jumped in surprise promptly hitting his head on a pipe above him; dizzy from the sudden pain he then staggered over a very large wire protruding from the metal mass under his legs. With that, he came crashing down the base sides until eventually he rolled to the ground directly in front of Zim's feet.
Dib groaned rubbing his head.
"DIB-HUMAN!!!" screamed Zim wildly, pointing his finger at him.
Oh boy. This wasn't going to be good. His second foray into the enemy's laboratory and he had botched it big time. Some paranormal expert he was, he thought miserably.
Meanwhile Gir was dancing around the base pointing at Dib while wildly brandishing his broken video camera shrieking, "WOW YOUR HEAD IS REEAALLY HUGE!"
Dib shoved the camera out of his face and stood up stock straight. He had no idea how to weasel his way out of this situation but he figured looking brave was a good first start. Zim was glaring at him, one eye twitched almost shut the other quite wide; his antennae now perked up from the surprise of an intruder.
Dib blurted out, "I saw the Tallest transmission." It seemed his best line of defense, maybe he could somehow bribe Zim with that info giving him a chance to escape. The Invader seemed to have a terrible ego complex to begin with...
It quickly became apparent that was not one of his brightest ideas.
Zim turned furious," I suppose the EARTH MEAT thinks he's more superior to the mighty Zim?!" he punctuated each word with a jab on Dib's chest.
"Uh, not exactly.." but Zim wasn't about to stop.
"Come to gloat HAVE YOU?! To POKE FUN at poor pathetic ZIM!", he shrieked loud enough for his voice to echo around the entire base.
"JESUS CHRIST Zim!" Dib yelled back, his tempter sorely tested by Zim’s ranty nature, " I was here doing what I always do, trying to expose you! But obviously it was a waste of time since your robot demolished my camera!"
Gir was still running around pretending to video-tape with the useless piece of equipment.
"WEE!!!" the robot giggled happily absolutely oblivious to everything that had been going on.
"How about you just let me go and we call it even?! Your robot destroyed the tape and it's not like anyone is going to believe me anyway," he sighed hopelessly.
Zim seemed taken aback by the logical response Dib had uttered. He scowled but remained silent.
Then he spoke bitterly, "Fine. Leave. It's not as if there's any point in trying to destroy you anyway."
That took Dib by surprise, but he wasn't about to be the first earth boy to look an alien gift horse in the mouth. After a brief struggle with Gir he wrenched the poor beaten up camera out of hands. He took a few steps toward the shute but stopped and turned around. Zim was doing something on his computer panel, but it was slow and sullen unlike the usual zest that was present whenever he had been hatching a plan for world domination.
"So what are you going to do now?" Dib asked.
There was a long pause at the panel, "what do you care," was the barely audible hiss.
"Well it kinda matters if you are or aren't going to destroy the Earth," Dib said pointedly. He creeped closer to the com panel his eyes catching something suspicious looking blipping across the screen.
"Zim what are you doing?" Dib had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"What does it MATTER to a stupid STINK-BEAST what the mighty ZIM has in store for his wretched self?!" he screamed.
Mass amounts of computer hacking into Zim's systems in the past had given him a basic understanding of the Irken blips that flashed across the screen. With those honed skills he had some academic authority to confirm that it was some kind of self destruct activator.
"LEAVE!" Zim cried at the top of his lungs," Leave and be gone with your HIDEOUS human FILTH!"
"Look I'm not going until you calm down," he huffed realizing swiftly what Zim was about, "you're obviously not in your right mind."
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!!" the piercing howl filled the comm room, "You and your STUPID human SENSIBILITIES!" Zim pointed his finger accusingly in his direction, as if to say being human was all Dib's fault, "without an INVASION an INVADER is USELESS!! Woe is ZIM!" he wailed, "Invader without a mission!" Zim collapsed dramatically against the panel, his antennae wilting until they were flat against the crown of his head, "there's nothing for me anymore," was the final whimper.
"Zim that's not true," Dib said trying to comfort him in vain.
He didn’t know what made him try and right the poor alien's misconstrued wish for self destruction. Realistically he could sweep the base after it was demolished with no Zim or Gir to stop him, take whatever he wanted from the piles and be off on his way to a bright future in paranormal investigations. But, the moral side of his being as it always had, clung to his inner resolve forcing him to reconsider his own self interests.
“Stupid, Stupid human,” Zim spat, “as if a puny Earth being would understand an Invaders plight. Well here is my gift to YOU Earth-Dib!”
His finger now poised dramatically above a red glowing button, it quickly slammed down with enough force to drive it through the computer.
Zim’s screeching laugh echoed in the base, “if I cannot have my invasion YOU cannot enjoy your STINKING EARTH LIFE! Goodbye Dib I’ll expire happily knowing your WASTED self went up with me!” a round of cackling was heard after.
Dib barely twitched an eyebrow. He simply aimed his ray gun, knocked out the power to the self destruct which by proxy was disabled, then tackled Zim to the ground, who in his severe state of surprise by this movement fell easily to the floor.
“You are so predictable,” Dib said with a grin.
Zim hissed at him through clenched teeth. It was all he could do since at the moment he had been disabled by Dib’s much taller self crushing his body while his arms were held above his head.
“Are you done now?” Dib asked.
There was a long pause as Zim glared angrily at Dib, his pride evidently very hurt. He glared to the left and then the right fully aware of his predicament, then miraculously seemed to calm down a little.
“I’m thinkin’…yeah,” was his dulled response.
Dib got up slowly and carefully just to be sure Zim wasn’t going to make a mad leap for anything too deadly. In a comedic display of inhospitality, they both ended up brushing themselves off to rid whatever invisible ‘goo’ the other possessed from their person. Openly Zim glared at Dib who glared right back with as much zest as he could muster.
In an uncharacteristic display of maturity, Zim stuttered, “Thank-you Earth-meat.”
“No problem,” was Dib’s calm response.
“Not that I, ZIM could NOT handle a small let down,” the alien huffed in a mad attempt to maintain some dignity.
And there went his begrudging respect that he was beginning to admonish for Zim. Well, maybe not entirely…
“Zim how about we make truce for a while,” he extended his hand.
Zim looked at it as though it were going to bite.
“You know,” Dib went on unfettered, “since you need to blend in for a little while until you can get back to your planet or whatever it is you wanna do.”
Dib noted how Zim stared worriedly at the floor for a moment before snapping back to himself. It became apparent that Zim really had no idea what to do since the news had been given that he was pretty much a useless Irken sitting on a big dumb rock.
Zim huffed extending his hand, “I suppose I can lower myself this once earth-Dib, under the circumstances.”
Dib grinned shaking his hand. Maybe he was a little excited at the prospects of having Zim as a friend. It certainly meant he could play around with all kinds of neat alien stuff. Plus, this kind of meant he saved all mankind in a round about way. He kept Zim from destroying the base and himself which would have at least resulted in some dead or wounded in the adjacent houses, while also keeping very close tabs on the crazy alien in case he might change his mind about the invading anytime soon. It sure felt like he was doing something golden anyhow.
“BUT,” Zim demanded, snapping his hand back, “no ‘dissecting’ or Swollen Eyeballs or the deal is off. And OH such PAIN you will suffer!” he finished his threatening speech with a shake of his gloved fist.
“Sure thing Zim,” Dib said all smiles.
So a shaky friendship had begun. If only he had foreseen what was to come in the future. Would he have changed a thing? Perhaps not…but the beginning was the start of all fate’s ribbons that spun out from the past, and perhaps for that reason Dib felt a twinge of guilt. After all, he had started it; the friend ship that bloomed into something more. That had changed until it became the all consuming force in Dib’s life, until it created two new lives that spun their own threads into the future. But he still had time, hours even until sunset. He could dream some more, and he would until the stars came out in the hot summer night, forcing him to embrace his current reality that lacked the person he loved the most. Yes, there was still a little time left yet…
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Two Of Us