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What Is Your Center?	By : LuciferDragon Category: +M through R > Rise of the Guardians Views: 1676 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Rise of the Guardians world, and I make no profit at all from this fiction.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
There were a lot of changes that came over the following year. Not just from our end of the spectrum. Jack had finally accepted Toothiana’s, ah, subtle advances, and the two went on a few dates. To my knowledge it didn’t go particularly well, but they had at least tried. Sandy created a whole new batch of his Dreamsand, forming a more potent but lovely batch for kids who couldn’t sleep very well due to the growing troubles in the world. Pitch agreed to back off the children a bit due to the travesties of the world, but still managed to keep his name known.
Tooth’s fairies grew in numbers, and a few of the older ones began to take over her position at the palace, allowing her more time to go back into the field after over four hundred and forty years of directing traffic.
During Easter, Bunny enlisted the aid of everyone to put their individuality into the eggs. He even extended an invitation to Pitch and myself. Needless to say it was a bit nerve-wracking, but he behaved himself, and actually had a bit of fun painting morbid eggs. I allowed the others into the lair during Halloween, hosting a party for them all to thank them for their hospitality.
North finally let some of the elves distribute their toys that following Christmas. It didn’t end as badly as we thought it would have. Only a dozen houses caught on fire.
Even our horses had a change, which was where I found myself that New Year’s Eve night. Hessian pranced back and forth in his stall, looking towards Onyx with anxious glowing eyes. I smiled at the stallion, feeling his elation. I sat in a corner of Onyx’s stall, where she was using my legs as a pillow. The poor Nightmare was so tired after all her exertion that night. It had been all worth it. I stayed up for almost twenty-eight hours straight, making sure I could be there for her. It was worth every waking hour. I stroked her sand-mane as she snorted heavily, calming her heart down.
Around her legs a tiny filly wobbled, her green-marked black fur matted down still from birth. She lost her balance and fell with a weak grunt.
How Hessian had managed to knock up the Nightmare was beyond me, but the filly was such a miracle I didn’t care of the mechanics. Her green stains came from her father, though instead of forming a skeleton, it swirled around like her mother’s markings. When the filly opened her eyes, I was able to see she had received Onyx’s yellow and orange irises. The filly let out a weak cry as she wobbled to her legs, shaking as she propped herself up on all four hooves.
“Come on,” I cooed, holding out my hand. “That’s it, you’ve got it.”
The filly shook as she pulled one foot up to step forward. She stumbled forward a bit but managed to catch herself. Hessian gave a worried snort as he paced in his stall. He’d have to wait, the big baby. The filly nuzzled her mother in a few places before finding her way to the milk source. Again, how Onyx was able to produce such a thing astounded me, but who was I to argue? From my own condition, it was true that anything was possible.
I watched with tired eyes as the baby wiggled happily, drinking her fill. I continued to stroke Onyx’s neck as she finally calmed down, her breath coming out in short, soft bursts. “I may never figure out how you managed this one you two. But she is beautiful.” I looked to Hessian. “What do you think, Dad?”
His consciousness pressed to mine. “I made that.”
I let out a breath of a laugh. “Yes, you did. What will you two call her?”
“Bellini.”
I nodded, looking to the filly who had decided to try out her legs some more. “Bellini it is.”
“Is it? I suppose it is fitting.”
I looked up to see Pitch leaning over the wall of the stall, eyeing the filly. “You missed it all.”
“From what I know, I would rather not have been around for it.” He looked to Hessian. “How did he hold up?”
“Like a normal man would. He panicked and fainted.”
He chuckled. “I didn’t the first time. And I won’t this time.” Onyx shifted to her feet with a grunt, and the filly gave a sharp, startled cry. The Nightmare stepped forward and nuzzled her master in a tired manner. “How is my lovely Nightmare doing?” Onyx snorted, her eyes half open. “I see.”
I found it amusing how he could communicate with Onyx, and I could speak with Hessian, but we couldn’t hear the other’s steed at all. “What did she say?”
“She said she never wants to do something like this again.” He stroked her muzzle while Bellini pranced behind her legs, nipping at the sand tendrils. “I believe it will only be a temporary state of mind, though.” Onyx tossed her head with a heavy snort. “Yes it will,” he answered her.
I held on to the back wall, hefting myself up. My muscles were growing more and more sore as the days went on.
I leaned back into his grasp as he moved away from Onyx. “And how is my queen feeling tonight?”
“Tired and sore, but fine nonetheless.” I pulled from his grip to unlock Hessian’s pen, letting the antsy stallion free. “I take it not a lot of people were asleep when you passed through?”
“I should stop venturing out every New Year’s Eve. There isn’t much point anymore.”
I left the stalls to let the new family bond on their own, viewing them from afar, leaning against the gate. I felt his arms snake around my waist, settling around my belly. “You can stay here with me then.” I leaned my head back as he kissed my neck, around the collar.
“I will be around more in a few months. I have enough Nightmares remade to send them out on their own. However, I’d like to increase their numbers for more widespread terror. We’ll need a small stockpile of supplies at home soon.”
I leaned back against him. “And I’ve been working with the bats; they should also be fine on their own.”
“You’ve perfected the powders?”
“Wouldn’t send them out if they weren’t ready.” While it was a horrible experience, the Mark of Trial had given me an idea on how to help Pitch more, and keep him home more nights. I created my own fear toxins that would be dusted on the victims while they slept. It was a minor dose, nothing as horrible as the Mark. Just enough to create night terrors and bad dreams. In return, the bats would siphon the fear and bring it back to us in stones that Pitch had created. “So we both won’t have to work nearly as hard.”
“Very good.” We fell into a silence, watching the horses interact with Bellini. Hessian seemed so proud of his offspring and pranced around her, stopping to nuzzle Onyx, who was beginning to tire more. Bellini yawned and pushed against her mother, signaling she would like to sleep.
I yawned as well, my own exhaustion catching up to me. I allowed Pitch to lead me away from the equestrian family, bringing us back up to the main corridors of his lair. “Did you manage to get anyone?” I asked.
“Enough. I managed to make one child wet the bed in terror, so it was a good night.”
I wrapped my arms around his left one, leaning in to his body. “My big, strong, fearsome Boogeyman.”
“You forgot terrifying.”
I rolled my eyes, but smiled. “Yes, the most terrifying thing known to man.” My gaze dropped down. One of the most terrifying things, at least.
He caught my gaze. “It is a daunting thing. Trust me, I know. But it will be alright in the end.
It had been a shocking feeling at first, when my cycles began to start again. I had been so afraid I hadn’t said anything to Pitch for the first several months. Of course, it was hard to hide that sort of evidence. That and I had been in crippling pain when my organs began to function again. “While I am scared,” I said to break the silence, “I’m relaxed at the same time. It may just be my center talking, but I feel like it will be a beautiful process.”
He said nothing. Instead of taking us to our room, he led us into the catacombs. He usually brought me there to keep my skills honed, and because the spirits of the dead tended to be a nuisance if not kept in check. As soon as the walls started to become bones, I could hear the lost souls looking for their answers. He stopped at a particular skull and took it from the wall, inspecting it with genuine interest. “What did this one die of?”
“Let me see.” I touched my fingertips to the skull, resting my palms against his hands. I frowned, not finding traces of the bubonic plague like I usually could for most of the bones. We were so far down, the first victims made up a good portion of the corridors. “Strange… This one’s not like the others. The soul has moved on, but there’s still some residual traces of the person.” I tried finding the source, and paused immediately as I began digging up more memories than I thought I’d find. “It’s a man. His name was Martelli. The most powerful memories I can find are of someone named Felecia.” My heart fell as I found what had brought him down in the catacombs. “She was a victim of the plague, but he was not. He couldn’t carry on. He died a broken man.” I took my hands back. “It seems not everyone gets their happy ending.”
“Not everyone deserves one.” He placed the skull where it was meant to be. We spent the remainder of the night in the catacombs, with him provided skulls or bits of bone for me to identify. I’m not sure why, but he loved that talent, and would listen as I told him stories of the past, brought to life by the memories in the bones.
I lost track of time as I trailed my fingers over the bones gently, afraid I’d break some of the oldest ones. I enjoyed doing the readings. It gave me a sort of satisfied feeling. Everyone dies, yes, but how many have their life stories heard? My talents allowed them to have at least someone know who they were, what they did with their lives. Many were interesting. Doctors, police, victims of murder and disease, lawyers, soldiers. It didn’t really matter what their social class was when they were tossed down here to rot like the others. As sad as the thought was, I was still able to see the faces of the dead. I could see the lives they all touched.
I paused as my fingers brushed over a smaller set of bones, my throat constricting.
He didn’t fail to notice how I suddenly went still and quiet. “Hana?”
I gently touched the small skull, sucking in a sharp breath as I felt nothing but pain and confusion. I pulled away, my fingers shaking. I swallowed hard, but forced myself to stroke the skull, as if offering some sort of comfort. “This one was barely a year old. She fell victim to the plague. She had no idea what was happening. She wasn’t old enough to understand death yet.” I felt his hand on my shoulder, but I kept going. “She was born to a poor family. Her father passed of the plague before she was born. She fell sick three months after she came into the world. Her little body couldn’t fight it off.” I pulled away from the skull finally, unable to go further.
“Come. It’s time we slept. You need it.”
I nodded, finding myself wanting to be as far away from the catacombs as possible for a while. We were silent the whole time we traveled the catwalks. Upon entering the bedroom he tended to the fire while I changed into a dull orange nightgown that fell above my knees. I frowned at the length, knowing in a month’s time I wouldn’t be able to fit into it. I pulled back the dark sheets and slipped in for the day. I looked over to the fireplace, seeing his motions had died down. “Oogie?”
“I’ll join you in a bit.”
Which translated to he needed some time to himself. Everything was still a bit much for him as well. I don’t think he ever thought he’d be in this position again. Once we had actually tried, a long time ago, but found it was impossible. With that, we had written it off, never expecting the situation to arise. Now that it had… I think any man in his situation would need time to come to terms with what it meant. Especially him.
I settled down, finding a comfortable position, knowing it would be harder and harder to do as time passed. With the amount of time I had been awake worrying about Onyx, I fell asleep quickly, albeit restlessly.
When I woke again, three hours had gone by. I looked over my shoulder to see his portion still empty, unused. I frowned and quietly shifted out of bed, finding him still sitting before the fireplace in his chair. I put my weight to the balls of my feet and approached him as silently as I could. With how distant his gaze was, I doubt he would have heard me if I had fallen to the polished stone floors. I only knew how far gone he really was by how he reacted when I put a gentle hand to his shoulder.
He jumped slightly and cleared his throat. “What are you doing awake?” He didn’t look at me as he hid something in his coat.
“I should ask you the same thing.” I rested my arms around his neck, letting him lean back into me. “Come to bed, Oogie. Staring at that locket won’t help you.”
I felt him stiffen. “I can pretend it does.”
I let out a breath of a laugh. “Don’t tell me my King of Nightmares is scared of having a baby.”
“No. It’s the fact of…” He went silent for a moment, and I let him gather his thoughts. “I suppose I’m a bit out of practice with this father thing.” He glanced at me. “Look what happened the first time.”
I bit my lip. “Well, yes, but that’s entirely circumstantial. We’re not in an era of war. You did what you had to do.” I tilted his chin up so he could look at me. “You care for me, don’t you?”
“Of course.”
“Then you can do the same for whatever is growing in here.” I tried to take my hand back, but he held on to it, pressing it to his lips. “You weren’t a bad father, if that’s what you believe. If that is why you continue to gaze at your locket. To be willing to die to save her, that’s what a good father would do.”
He laughed again. “Hana, I haven’t been a good anything in centuries.”
I frowned. “Now that’s not entirely true. You’ve been a good friend, a good lover to me. It counts.”
“Only for so much.” He sighed and got up out of his chair. He stood stock-still as the locket fell from his coat and opened on the stone floor. Staring back at us was a beautiful little girl with hair as black as night, just like her father.
I had never seen what she looked like. I never asked to look at the picture in the locket, finding that it was something he cherished dearly. Everyone deserves to have something precious to hold close to them. “She looks like you.”
He gently picked the locket up, holding it in his palm. “She did. Now she doesn’t really take physical shape too often.”
I covered his hands with mine, closing his fingers over the image. “There are many things in everyone’s lives we wish we could change. Instead of looking to the past, thinking of all the other ways it could have gone, focus on where you’re going.” I smiled. “Look at all you’ve done in just the last two years. Your name is remembered by many. People can see you, hear you again. You helped put Lucifer back in his place. You found Tia and helped put her spirit to rest with the man she loves.” I reached up and ran a finger over his temple, feeling him press into it subconsciously. “You may not realize it but you are a good man. You just show it differently.”
“I used to… Why did you give me another chance after everything I did?”
It was a good question. I wasn’t sure why I did. Many people would have told me to get the hell away from that situation and never turn back. I had planned to do just that, and it had been successful for a hundred years. But was it the right thing to do? Was it right to leave him alone when he needed someone to believe in him? He had turned into a violent, borderline abusive man, yes, but was it really the right call to turn my back on him? “I couldn’t let you stay alone forever. Not when you had been broken so badly. I shouldn’t have left you alone.”
“You never fought back. Why?”
“I couldn’t. I didn’t… didn’t know how to.” I tried to take my hand back but he kept it in place. “This is what I mean. Don’t think of the past. It’s done, and there’s nothing that can be done to change it. You can change what’s to come.” My smile returned. “You don’t have to be there for everything, you don’t even have to be the best father in the world. You are the Boogeyman, don’t ever change that. You are terrifying, strong, fearsome, and you take shit from no one.” I put my other hand over his heart. “Your center is chaos. Embrace it, and your path with remain clear.”
He nodded. “You already have the instincts to be a good mother.”
I let out a short laugh. “I would hope so.” I leaned in to him and he instinctively wrapped his arms around me. “You obviously aren’t the same man you used to be before I met you.”
“Why say that?”
“Manny wouldn’t have given me this gift if he didn’t think you’ve changed, good or bad.” I pulled away, trying to lead him away from the fire. “Now come to bed. I see I’ve got to wear you out somehow.”
He chuckled but allowed me to lead him to the bed. “I am exhausted, you don’t have to do anything to help with that. Though I do appreciate your enthusiasm.”
I shoved his shoulders, tossing him down on the sheets. I gave him no chance to get up and straddled his hips, my nightgown exposing more of my thighs. “You say that, yet you’re still awake.”
“I see someone’s a bit feisty.”
I leaned over his frame, placing a quick kiss to his lips. “I blame the hormones. They’re all over the place.” I knew for once he wasn’t in the mood for anything sexual. I only wanted him to know that he was still cared for by someone. I got off his hips, letting him up again. “Now get your ass in bed before I make you.”
He laughed at my bravado but took his coat off all the same. “I’d like to see you try, Hana.” Regardless of his words he slipped in beside me while I resumed the comfortable position I had found earlier. “Do you want to come with me tomorrow? I could use a companion while I work.”
I felt his arm rest over my side and I shifted back to get closer. “Of course. You know I love helping with the Nightmares.”
“Obviously. You helped Onyx through her labor. If you didn’t care for her, you wouldn’t have done so.”
“That and I was afraid Hessian would do something extremely stupid during the process. He doesn’t think clearly when stressed.”
“What male could while watching the woman he loves go through that sort of pain?”
I looked at him over my shoulder. “Can I expect you to do something extremely stupid?”
“Possibly. I can’t say from experience.”
Meaning he hadn’t been there when his wife gave birth. I held on to his arm and settled back down. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure no one knows if you do something stupid.”
“I’d hope so. I’ve worked hard for my reputation. I can’t be fainting over the birth of my child.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the image it created. I could only see him pacing as Hessian had done, though in the most humorous of ways. He pinched my arm but I only laughed harder. “Come now,” I said between giggles, “surely the Nightmare King can take a joke.”
As an answer he leaned over my body as my giggles continued to break through. “Not when I’m the ass of the joke.” His grin said otherwise. “Now I thought you wanted me to come to bed to sleep? How am I to do so with you chattering nonsense all day?”
I stuck my tongue out at him and he bit it, making me laugh and put my hands to his chest as he refused to let go. “’ock I’ off!”
He let go only to take my hands and pin them over my head. “Or what? You’ll take away my candy?”
“Oh I’ll take away more than your candy, mister.” My heart raced as I watched his smile fade. His eyes were so intense, I couldn’t look away. “What is it?”
“I never asked if you were ready for this.”
“Honestly?” I waited for him to nod. “It’s the one thing I always wanted to give you, but couldn’t. I knew how much you missed your daughter, but I couldn’t do anything for you. At least now I can.”
“Well then, if that’s the case…” He let go of my wrists and ran his hands up my thighs under the sheets. “I think I do need something to wear me out more.”
“Oh no, no. I don’t think so. I offered and you didn’t want to.”
“I changed my mind.” He kissed my neck, finding a sensitive spot.
“Really, knock it off,” I said between laughs. He found a weak point and I hummed a soft moan. “Seriously Oogie, I’m exhausted.”
He sighed in mock disappointment, but stopped all the same. “As you wish.” We settled back down for the day. “However, once night falls that changes.”
“Of course.” We both grew quiet, and I listened to the crackling of the fireplace, using it to lull me to sleep. Everything had changed, but for the better.
None of us were alone or cast out anymore. Each of us had found our place in the world. We had all realized or remembered our centers, what drove us on. Some of us more than others. That day, as I drifted off to sleep, I prayed it would stay that way. We had both suffered enough. It was time for a change. It was time for our own happy ending.
We would never be forgotten again.
- 18
- 19
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What Is Your Center?