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Pedo or Xeno	By : Andyouthinkimcrazy Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > Slash - Male/Male Views: 7330 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or The Dog Whisperer. I don't make any money off of this.

Chapter List
- 18
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- 20
Note: Behold! My first chapter at the wonderful age of twenty-three! BE AMAZED! And now that you're done being awestruck by my mighty presence you can move on to enjoying this chapter. I'd only like to mention that I really hope no one is put off by the OC in this chapter, he's really only a device to use to move the chapter along smoothly... that and I couldn't decide if I wanted to write the story from Red's view or Purple's or if I wanted to switch constantly like I seem to do often anyhow... *whistles innocently and wanders off*
...
Conquering the entire universe was quite the task; its expanses reached to untold distances and the dangers were unfathomable. Navigation was a taxing job riddled with various debris and the occasional black hole or other anomaly; Kraz, who operated the flight controls for the Massive, faced this every day while his Tallests chatted lazily in the background: eating their snacks and issuing orders to sate their boredom.
The words "I'm bored." coming from the mouth of Tallest Purple usually meant trouble; and today was no exception. The pilot didn't dare turn from his station to regard his leaders, lest he be singled out for their amusement, but he could hear the crunch of the snacks that Red was consuming.
"So do something fun." Red suggested before slurping his Irken soda, "We can shoot someone out the airlock?" There was silence for a moment, in which Kraz imagined that Tallest Purple was shaking his head, "How about we go down to the prison hold-y thing and make them do stupid things for some food?"
"No..." Tallest Purple said with a sigh, "This is hopeless! I'm starting to think that being the Tallest isn't all that fun anymore, Red." At that, all restraint was lost; every pupil-less eye became trained on the purple-eyed Irken, "What are you looking at!" Purple snapped prompting all eyes but Red's to leave him, or so Kraz assumed; he was too afraid to chance another look, "I don't mean I don't want to be Tallest anymore, I just want to do something different."
Red sounded skeptical, "Different? Well I guess being in this stupid ship for months does get a little boring; would you like to take a trip to Foodcourtia?"
"We can't, it's the Foodening right now!" Purple pointed out, though he seemed down about this fact; for a moment he'd probably been excited to stuff his face in an entirely new setting, "Think of what the universe might be reduced to if we were trapped there for... however long it is."
"Twenty years." Red informed before trying another suggestion, "We can go to Vort? It might be nice to see the progress that's been made since we conquered it..."
"Oooh!" Purple exclaimed, delighted, "They have the couch there, don't they? The universe's most comfortable couch! Hey you, Navigation Drone, set a course for-"
"Excuse me, My Tallests!" another Irken cried, nearly startling Kraz right from his seat; cautiously he tilted his head to stare at the Irken who'd interrupted Purple so brazenly, he'd have to have a good excuse to avoid being a relief to Tallest Purple's boredom during the trip to Vort.
As expected Purple and Red weren't too thrilled; the endangered Irken continued cautiously, "There's an emergency transmission coming from Earth..."
Collectively, the bridge seemed to groan with annoyance, "Zim..." Purple supplied moodily, not that anyone needed the information; everyone knew who was 'stationed' on Earth.
"Well..." Red began, "It's an emergency, so maybe he's dying or dead or something."
That suggestion seemed to perk Purple right up, "Oh yeah maybe he is! Answer it, answer it! If he's dying I want to watch!"
"Shh!" Red hissed, "Calm down." The pair took a moment to compose themselves before motioning for the transmission to be received; Kraz tilted his head to look up at the giant image of 'Invader' Zim that appeared before them.
He looked so different from what Kraz remembered of the last call. He seemed so defeated with his lack of energy and surprisingly downcast look, "Greetings, My Tallest." he said as usual, though he hesitated to launch into his usual update.
After an unusually awkward silence Red finally snapped, "What, Zim? What's the emergency?"
Zim hung his head, somehow managing to look so incredibly small even with the giant projection of him, "Something horrible has happened to Zim, My Tallest." the defect began, still seeming so unnaturally hesitant; Kraz had grown used to the annoying Irken who prattled on and on stupidly and obliviously to their uninterested leaders. He exuded confidence or anger... not this weird sadness.
Kraz could sense the irritation coming from behind him; he was sure that one of his leaders was about to yell when Zim suddenly hollered out his own confession, "Zim is with smeet!"
Once again silence echoed through the bridge of the massive; Kraz stared with wide, fuchsia eyes directed at the screen before him, "Y-You-" Purple squeaked out at last, "With Skoodge!"
"That's disgusting." Red agreed, "But not an emergency."
"Yeah!" Purple chimed in, "We're busy, Zim! You can't just make up an emergency! Even if that is wretchedly disgusting you should have thought of that before... whatever happened."
"It isn't Skoodge!" Zim snapped, suddenly with all of the life back in him; he growled and slammed his fists on the console in front of him, "It was a human! A filthy disgusting human! He tricked Zim!" The tiny Irken seemed to be trembling all over from some emotion that Kraz wasn't sure he wanted to know, his head was down as he seemed to struggle with himself and his words, "I can't get rid of it..."
Someone retched, and if it weren't for the resulting cry of 'My Tallest!' Kraz might not have looked to see Purple rushing to expel his snacks all over an unfortunate servant; thankfully there were plenty of other servants who could take over to help get Tallest Purple cleaned up and seated comfortably so he could recover. Kraz turned back to the screen before he could be noticed staring.
Tallest Red spoke up after a long moment, perhaps taking his time as his own squeedlyspooch turned; or perhaps he was just thinking of what to say, "So what do you expect us to do about it, Zim?"
"Get rid of it!" The false Invader demanded as he leaned in closer to the screen; it seemed like he was trying to look like someone who shouldn't be turned down, "It's a filthy inferior beast that needs to be destroyed! My Tallest, please don't make Zim birth this foul inferior thing!"
"What do we do, Red?" Purple whispered loudly; he'd been helped back into his chair, it seemed, "We have to destroy it... but then Zim would be, you know, here."
"Yes, not working on his mission." Red covered for his partner's loud voice, "We really need to think about this, Zim; we'll call you ba-"
"But My Tallest!" Zim interrupted desperately, his claws actually digging into the metal of the station he was at, "Zim can't complete his mission with this hairy, meaty, thing growing inside of him!"
Purple retched again and when he spoke it was muffled by his clawed fingers, "Stop talking about it! We'll kill it if you just stop!"
Red hissed a protest at his partner that fell on deaf ears as Zim burst out in gratitude, "Thank you, My Tallest!" he cried with a salute, "I will prepare for your arrival!"
The transmission quickly went dead leaving silence to reign through the bridge of the Massive; Red was shaking his head in disbelief, "I can't believe we agreed to do this. Zim is going to be on The Massive."
Purple made a face of disgust that he was trying desperately to hide, "It won't be that bad..." he told Red with unsureness in his voice, "he won't get into trouble if he needs us to remove that thing, right?"
The other Tallest sighed in response but his head bobbed with a nod, "I guess you're right, but now we have to cancel that trip to Vort." There was a long silence in which Purple looked on the verge of crying out in frustration or sorrow; Red interrupted before he could begin, "We can still shoot someone out of the airlock."
It was at this point that Kraz-who hadn't even been aware that he was staring at the Tallest for some time-shrunk in his seat under a pair of evil purple and red eyes, "We've needed a new pilot for a while now, anyway." Purple supplied as they advanced on their defenseless underling.
"Noooooo!" Kraz cried loudly before the all-encompassing sound of being sucked into the vacuum of space drowned him out, leaving the Massive echoing with the giggles of the two Tallest.
...
Random fact: Kraz is the name I chose for my Irken self before this story was even born; a friend of mine just happened to remind me about it a few months ago so when I found the need for an OC I already had a name to give him.
- 18
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- 20
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Pedo or Xeno