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The Shadow of his Heart	By : Catspeaker Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 12692 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
A/N: You know, this story was originally going to be this tiny, short maybe 5 chapters only straight forward Lucycoln fic until a reviewer after the first chapter dropped got into it with me about “What's wrong with you writing Loudcest fiction! It's wrong, grr!” Well that reviewer lit a fire under me that made me go “FINE! I'm gonna try and write the most epic grounded Loudcest story I can! So there!” As those of you have been reading since the beginning have noticed, this story has kinda ballooned in scope. I just really hope it's at least entertaining and exciting to read. Unfortunately I think my writing style is more along the lines of Stephen King and J.K. Rowling (Not that I put myself in the same league as them at all) As in, I write too damn much, and put in too much detail, and feel like all these extraneous bits need to be expanded upon and explored. So my current projection is, if I can keep up about 1.5 chapters a week, I might have this finished by September. We'll see. Hopefully I can keep the story fresh, exciting and enthralling the whole time. Thanks so much for all your support! Oh yeah, for those who don't know, I wrote a Stand Alone bonus chapter expanding Lincoln and Lucy's Halloween Date called “Love is with your brother” check my profile if you need your fix of more Lucy and Lincoln fluff and Smut!

Lincoln hadn’t realized just how much he had missed Lynn until they were together again. She had barely spent any time home during the Summer, and he had always been busy with Melanie. Of course, he had seen her here and there when she was home, but mostly it had been a greeting or a goodnight before she was out the door, or he was at work or out with Clyde or Mel. It really had seemed as if a year had passed before they truly spent real quality time together.
And he missed it. He missed it so much. Despite their differing personalities and interests, Lynn was the closest in age to Lincoln, and the one who had guided him most in life. Lincoln had been a boy growing up in a home full of sisters. He had wanted to do little boy things, rough-house, wrestle, play tag, race, climb everything in sight and other things a little boy full of energy had wanted to do.
Out of all his sisters, Lynn had been the one most willing to do that. Not only willing but was excited to do it. Hell, she’d been the one to initiate their play most of the time. She was the one who taught him how to play catch, hot to climb a tree, and pretty much was the source of all his knowledge on sports and how they were played. She was the reason he hadn’t been a total couch potato growing up.
There was just that special connection they shared, with her being only a year older than him. All his older sisters had done their part to teach him things, be there for him, and guide him with the experiences they had before him. But Lynn was at times, almost more like a best friend than a sister. Sure, she annoyed the hell out of him often, but he always had fun with her too.
Seeing her again after so long had made him reflect as the two sat at Torino’s Italian sub and pizza shop. A little independent restaurant that was Lynn’s favorite place to eat. It was a place you could get a full 16-inch sub, none of that only a foot long stuff, toasted with anything you wanted. Lynn liked to save half for later most of the time, though she could eat the whole thing in one sitting. The fact she liked to cover most of her subs in siracha, hot-sauce, and spicy peppers and eat the damn thing with no issues always amazed him. Of course, that meant he’d have to put up with her farts later.
Lincoln was aware of the myth most guys had that girls were never gross, and never had bodily functions like they did. It was a myth that he had learned about when he was older, rather than being raised with it like other boys. But having so many sisters, he was well aware they did everything he did, along with the extra added issue of bleeding once a month when they reached a certain age.
Lori may have had the most sensitive stomach, and the most gas intestinal issues out of his sisters, but she was horribly embarrassed about it, and did her best to deny any and all aspects associated with it.
Not Lynn though.
Even Lana, the most tomboyish of all his sisters, was still embarrassed of her bodily functions, still had that girl part that wanted to keep that part of herself private.
But Lynn had never been, hell she almost seemed proud of it at times. She’d loudly announce to him when she was ‘on the rag’ as a teenager and had taken a perverse glee in even farting on him when they were younger. She was the closest thing he had to an older brother growing up with her playful bullying him like that. She’d stopped some of the gross behavior when she’d gotten a little older, around her mid-teens and Lincoln had been more than thankful even if she still liked to hit him, try and give him noogies, pants him, and other behaviors meant to assert her dominance.
Yet she could be decidingly feminine when she wanted too as well. It didn’t happen often, but every once in a while, Lynn would remind him she was a girl with her actions.
For some reason right now, he was more aware of her being a girl than ever.
Maybe it had started when he took her to Prom two years ago. When she had gone out of her way to look more girlish than she ever had before. She really had been beautiful, he recognized it even then. She had gotten her hair done, pulled it out of that ponytail she had always kept it in and actually let it down for a while. She’d put make up on, and the dress she wore had been very flattering. She had expected him to take the lead all night, which has surprised him at first, but he’d caught on and done so, and he knew she had a great time. The kiss she gave him at the end of that particular night had always sat strangely with him.
Knowing what he did now, he understood why.
But even looking at her in the present, in a t-shirt and track pants, she still looked, well girly. Maybe that wasn’t the right word, but he noticed her in ways he really hadn’t before. Like just how pretty and big her eyes were. The shape of her lips and the fullness to them. The volume and thickness of her hair, its luster, how soft it looked. Even her size. She was short, almost petite, there was just something cute about it. Yes, she was in great shape, amazing shape, but her smaller size, it just made him want to hug her and hold her tightly for some reason.
Maybe it was because he was realizing how much he had missed her.
He suddenly felt a playful kick to his shin.
He hadn’t even noticed he’d been zoning out staring at her while they were sitting together in a booth at the restaurant. The green Naugahyde seats squeaked every time they moved, but the Formica wood table was clean.
He had been listening to Lynn talk about her new exercise regiment and her suggestions on how to improve his own when he had begun to stare at her. With his elbow on the table and chin in his hand he had gotten caught up in those memories.
Looking back at him, he swore he saw a slight blush on Lynn’s freckled cheeks as she gave a playful smile, “You even listening to me here Stinkin’ or has your mind checked out? Come on, I know you’re not as into fitness as me, but at least humor me a little!”
Lincoln smiled back at her and said the first thing that was on his mind, “Sorry Lynn, I was just thinking how much I’ve missed you.”
He saw the look of surprise flash across his sister’s features. How big her eyes got, the small ‘o’ shape her lips made as her mouth parted ever so slightly. The even deeper shade of crimson her cheeks became. He saw the most awkward and beautiful smile he’d ever seen on her before coming up as she looked away, and huffed, clearly trying to be tough in the moment, “Well Linc, it wasn’t like I was on the moon or anything.” She scoffed then added quietly, “I missed you too.”
She was even cuter right now than she’d ever been. For a moment Lincoln considered if his attraction to Tomboys was her fault. Lucy of course was beautiful, sensual, emotional under the veneer of apathy she showed to the world. But there was just something about tough girls who were ready to take on the world, who could keep up with the boys and even surpass them. Something about the affection they could show when they decided they wanted to. How deep, loving and passionate they could really be when you scratched past their surface.
He had known that thanks to Ronnie Anne. He wondered if Lynn was the same way, he wondered if she was the master template of what girls he was initially drawn to. They said most guys wanted a woman that reminded them of their mother, Freud had put that into words and went crazy with it. But Lincoln had been around so many women all his life, he knew he was attracted to elements they all possessed.
But he had been closer to Lynn longer than the rest of them. He had been her roommate, up until their parents decided he was getting too old, and so many other sisters had come along after him they needed the space. He had chased after her the most when they were little. Always trying to keep up with her, always wanting to do whatever she was doing.
She saw him smirking at her, and she couldn’t help but look and smirk back, like they’d just shared a fun secret together. Her expression turned a little serious and he watched as she cast her eyes back down to the half-eaten sub in front of her, “You know… you could have visited me, if you wanted. Up at the dorm, I would have loved to see you, and shown you around.”
Lincoln felt guilt wrap around his heart. It was a feeling he was all to familiar with. It was in his nature, the sheer loyalty and devotion he felt for all his sisters. This overwhelming protective urge he had towards all of them that had grown larger as he’d gotten older, and bigger than all of them. But this was a new type of guilt, a feeling that he had abandoned her. Left her when she probably could of used his familiarity and affection the most.
Why hadn’t he visited her? She was only a half hour away. It wasn’t like he couldn’t have spared a day on the weekend to hang out with his older sister. For that matter he hadn’t visited Lori since the breakup with Ronnie Anne. It was a bit of a drive, but he still could of done it. Even worse, he’d never even see Leni and Luan’s place. He only ever saw them on holidays when they came home to visit.
God, he’d been a terrible younger brother to all of them.
Lynn seemed to notice the guilt on his face, and she did something that surprised him. She reached over with a look of concern and took hold of his hand, squeezing it with her slender digits. She rubbed her thumb over the top of his hand in a comforting manner, “Hey, Linc, it’s okay. I get it, I really do. It was your senior year, you were busy, you had a girlfriend and other things going on.” He saw a look of guilt cover her own features then, “I could have come home and visited you too, so it’s on me as well.”
Lincoln favored her with a soft smile, he still felt guilty about not seeing his other sisters, (At least in Luna’s case, she was always on tour and they hung out when her band swung back into town) something he knew he’d have to rectify, but he could start by spending more time with Lynn again.
Lynn huffed again, she was worse than Ronnie Anne when it came to expressing her softer side and it was clear she was getting embarrassed about this heart to heart they were having. She smirked as she brought up a topic change, “Enough with the guilt trips, we’ll fix it all together soon. Hey, you know the new Wicked John movie just dropped on Netmax? I was thinkin’ we should watch it together today!”
If there was another thing about Lynn that Lincoln could totally bond with her over, it was action movies. Lynn loved them even more than he did. She loved seeing things blow up, shoot outs, fist fights, car chases, and other adrenaline filled moments. He could always count on her to be his buddy watching action movies when he couldn’t find Clyde.
Lincoln laughed, “I forgot they even released a third one. What the hell did they do to piss him off this time?”
Lynn grinned as she excitedly explained, “This time John thought he was retiring for good and opened up a cat shelter! Then Irish terrorists accidently blow it up while they’re targeting a British diplomat!”
Lincoln raised his eyebrow, “You know, they keep finding more and more ridiculous ways to commit animal cruelty and send that man on a killing rampage, but I’m not even mad.”
Lynn laughed as she nodded her head, “I know right?! But the gunplay in those movies is just so damn cool!”
Lincoln could only shrug and smile, he was in complete agreement, “Sounds like a plan Lynn. We can set up when we get back.”
Lynn almost cheered raising her fist up and pumping it, “Yeah! Ha ha! That’s what I wanna hear Lincoln, I can’t get anyone else to watch those movies with me at the Uni!”
Lincoln just smirked and replied, “Guess you’ll have to come home more often so we can watch them together.”
Lynn only stared back at him dreamily, “Guess so Stinkin’.”
Section Break
Lincoln and Lynn entered through the front door of their family’s home still caught up in the middle of a conversation with one another. The atmosphere around them was happy and playful. Not only had Lincoln been reunited with a sister, but an old friend as well. She was telling him what to expect when he got to college, REAL college, not the kiddie stop-gap pretend college he was at now. It was as if she thought he needed to know this stuff soon for some reason.
Of course, Lynn was doing this out of her excitement of knowing what his Christmas present was. Lincoln wasn’t aware, but it was nice to hear what he might expect to see in another year or so.
“Yeah Linc, the lecture halls for the introduction classes are huge, since everyone’s gotta take em, but the classes get smaller as you advance up the ladder more. You gotta get yourself a meal card too, so you can eat at the café.”
Lincoln nodded after they stepped in and took their jackets and shoes off, tossing them in the closet when they turned and looked at the living room couch.
It was occupied.
Lola and Lily were sitting on it together, well, Lily was actually sitting right up against Lola, her eyes wide with interest at what ever show they were watching together. More was the smile on her lips from the attention she was getting from her older sister.
Lily was being pampered. At the moment Lola was behind her, gently and deliberately combing her hair, and braiding it carefully. It was an act of sisterly bonding and affection between the two, and Lily positively loved the attention from Lola.
It was surprising how much Lily looked up to Lola, considering who she was. For as much as she saw herself as her big brother’s sidekick, to Lily, Lola embodied everything it meant to be a ‘woman’.
While everyone loved baby Lily and doted on her, Lola’s particular interest lay in showing her youngest sister all the things’ girls were just ‘supposed’ to know. Lola would joke that Lincoln may have gotten his nerdy fingers into Lily’s soul and made her a dork just like him, but she would at least make sure Lily still knew how to be a girl.
Lily for her part actually loved this. For as much as she did adore so many of those dorky things her older brother did, Lily was a surprisingly very feminine little girl.
She cared about how she looked, she cared about what clothes she wore, she wanted to know how to put on make-up, she wanted to know how to do her hair, even how to host a proper tea party and so many other things that Lola was only too happy to impart the knowledge of.
It was apparently big sister and little sister quality time on the couch. Lily tilted her eyes up, a little smile on her lips as she basked in the presence of her older sister, “I think Cletus is gonna win it, he does the runway walk so good!”
Lola grinned, looking down to meet Lily’s eyes with her own, “I dunno Lils, Tyrone’s been giving back to the community by mentoring younger inmates. A proper pageant winner needs to be beautiful on the inside as well as the out. You can’t count him out.”
The two were obviously watching Prison Pageant together. Lincoln doubted they’d be able to claim the TV now, both Lola and Lily absolutely loved the damn show. Even their father Lynn Sr would watch it with them if he was around.
Lynn looked towards the two on the couch and threw her hands up, “Hey! Lincoln and I were gonna watch the new Wicked John movie there!”
Lola rolled her eyes so perfect and precisely it actually made Lynn flinch. Lincoln was almost tempted to punch her arm and yell ‘two for flinching’ but decided to hold back. It wasn’t fair how Lola was so good at making you feel awkward or buffoonish for disturbing whatever she was doing at the time.
Lola responded, “Uh first off, ew, no. I don’t want to watch a bunch of people get blown up and shot to death while a F bomb is dropped every other sentence. Next, Lily is way to young to watch something like that anyway.”
Lily of course didn’t take being told she was too young for anything well, and the baby of the family folded her arms tightly and pouted, scrunching her eyes up into a frown, “I am not!”
Lola cast her gaze back down to Lily once more and spoke in a matter-of-fact tone, “Yes, you are. Mom and Dad would ground me for life if I knowingly let you watch something like that. Besides you want to turn off Prison Pageant for some stupid movie about guns?”
Lily looked like she thought about it for a moment and responded, “No, I wanna watch this with you Lola! Prison Pageant is more fun than dumb Wicked John anyway!”
Lola smirked in victory as she looked from her little sister to her two older siblings, “Exactly. Sorry you two, Lily and I have the TV for now. You’ll just have to watch it on your laptop in your room or something. Lucy’s gone; you could even use your old room Lynn.”
That caught Lincoln’s attention. Lucy wasn’t there? Where had she gone to, and for how long? Lincoln spoke up tentively, “Lucy left? Where did she go?”
Lola had returned her attention back to Lily and the program they were watching, “Think she went to Haiku’s, said she was gonna spend the night. About time she left the house anyway. Without you.”
That sent a small dagger of fear and panic into Lincoln’s spine. He always worried about Lola the most when it came to his illicit relationship with Lucy. She was the most perceptive in the house, and the most critical as well. Just how much did she suspect?
But Lynn interrupted his thoughts by playfully elbowing him in the ribs, “Looks like we’re shackin’ up in your room to watch the movie then Stinkin’!”
Lincoln blinked in surprise, “My room? Why my room?”
Lynn countered, “Just in case the queen of darkness returns home. You know she doesn’t really care for those kinds of movies anyway. I don’t want us interrupted.”
Lincoln couldn’t argue with that logic. Though he was worried about Lucy being gone. Why had she left, and why hadn’t she told him she was going to spend the night with Haiku? They hadn’t spent a day apart from one another since the convention. It made him feel, scared. Almost as scared as the day they had their first fight. When she went over 12 hours without even acknowledging his presence. How horrible that had felt, how much it had torn his heart to pieces after everything they had shared.
Yet at the same time, that dark cloud was banished by the presence of Lynn. He couldn’t feel guilty about spending time with one of his sisters. Maybe she really did just want to see Haiku for a day, they had spent every day together, and Lincoln knew if Clyde visited, he’d want to go hang out with him alone for some guy time. It was just kinda weird she decided to do it when Lynn was visiting.
He couldn’t feel guilty hanging out with Lynn. He wouldn’t feel guilty. He loved Lynn and he had missed her so much.
He’d text Lucy later to check on her, but for now he was going to have fun with Lynn.
Lynn was already moving ahead of him, grabbing the banister of the staircase, “Go grab us some snacks Linc, I’m gonna put on some more comfortable clothes and I’ll meet you in your room!”
He still had some lingering worries about Lucy, but he’d worry about those later. Lynn deserved his time and attention right now. Lucy would have to understand that.
Popping into the kitchen, he heated up a couple bags of popcorn, salted and buttered them just right, then grabbed a couple of sodas stocked up in the fridge. As he was getting things ready, he was surprised to see his Father enter the kitchen shortly after him. As far as he knew his Dad should be at the restaurant of all things.
Lynn senior was tall, just like their mother, but favored brown eyes and brown hair as opposed to her blonde and blue. His sharp nose was his most distinct feature, and as he’d gotten older more and more of his dark brown hair had begun to recede and vanish from the top of his head. He typically had a smile on his lips, his jovial nature always apparent, and was known to get emotional with his family. It had typically fallen to Rita to be the disciplinarian in the home, meaning Lynn Sr was known as the ‘fun’ parent among their children.
Lincoln loved his Dad obviously, even if he was closer too his Mom. He’d found however, as he was getting older and becoming a proper ‘man’, he’d come to rely on his father’s advice and experiences more and more. Especially since he’d started working at the family restaurant.
Dad was wearing a pair of slacks and a Wolverine sweatshirt that Lynn jr had gotten him. He lit up as he saw his only son, “Hey! Lincoln, you’re spending time with LJ right?” LJ was Lynn Jr’s nickname among their parents, if only to differentiate her from her father when both were around.
Lincoln smiled back to his dad and nodded, “Yeah, we’re hanging out. It’s a been while for the two of us.”
Lynn Sr smiled back at his son as he put his hand to his chin, “Yaknow I was thinkin’, maybe the three of us should go out together tomorrow. There’s that Total Fighting Champions fight taking place in the women’s division. I was thinking we should head out to Corey’s Sports Bar in Windsor and check it out. We can all get some beers together.”
Going over to Canada to take advantage of the lower drinking Age was a time-honored tradition among 19- to 20-year-olds in South East Michigan. The border was usually only 20 to 30 minutes away depending on where you lived and was easy to get across for most Michiganders. You didn’t even need a full passport; you just needed an upgraded License, and the land of the overly polite, invasive Canadian geese and Hockey was open to you.
Lincoln’s Dad was actually inviting him and Lynn Jr to come drink with him. While Lynn Sr wasn’t as much of sport’s fanatic as Lynn Jr, he was the one most into athletic competition after his daughter and was thought where she got her passion for sports from. Lincoln felt touched, Dad wanted to spend time with him and Lynn alone together. His two oldest children currently at home, and treat them as fellow adults.
Lincoln gave a slight smirk as he replied, “That sounds like fun Dad, I think Lynn would love that. But, aren’t we working the Restaurant tomorrow night?”
Lynn Sr came over and clapped his hand on his son’s shoulder, pulling him in and giving him a squeeze against his own frame, “Never put your work before your family Lincoln, if I can impart some advice to you, it’s that. Half of your sisters are gone now, who knows when we’ll get an opportunity like this again.”
Lincoln felt such a warm sensation from his father then. His Dad really was all about their family, and always had been. It was something he counted himself lucky on. He knew there were so many one parent families out there, yet his Parents had always put their children first, and showed no signs of ever having lost their love for one another.
Lincoln nodded his head, “Then I’ll tell Lynn when I see her in a minute.”
His Dad squeezed his shoulder affectionately once more as he responded, “Linc, I just want you to know how proud of you your Mom and I are.”
Lincoln flushed slightly as he cast his eyes down, he didn’t think he had done anything for his parents to be proud of lately, “Thanks Dad, but I don’t really deserve that.”
But Lynn Sr was non-plussed, “No Lincoln, I really mean it. I know it hasn’t been easy staying home and taking care of your sisters when you were ready to get out on your own…But you did it, and I think your Mother and I, we really didn’t appreciate how much of a sacrifice that was for you.”
Lincoln frowned more to himself, he didn’t know how to feel hearing this, an acknowledgment of what he had done. He still didn’t believe he deserved it. Isn’t this what you were supposed to do for family? Put them first?
Lynn Sr went on, “After Lori left, and I mean really left. When she stopped coming home on the weekends and summer, you really stepped up. You became the man we needed around here, even for your older sisters still here.”
Lincoln smiled then. His Dad was breaking through his self-doubt. Maybe it was okay to feel a little bit of pride over what he’d done. Even with Lucy. Wasn’t he making her happy too? It was his job. No that made it sound like a punishment. It wasn’t a job to take care of his sisters. It was a privilege, and it was nice to be recognized for it. Even if he didn’t understand why.
So instead he replied softly, “Thanks Dad….thank you.” Feeling emotional from the praise, his cheeks burning red.
Lynn Sr was an emotional man and was already choking back his own feelings at the moment he was sharing with his Son. His relationship with Lincoln was always the one he worried about most. He always worried if he favored his daughters too much over his son. These moments meant so much to the Patriarch of the Loud family.
Lynn Sr gave another squeeze to his son’s shoulder and patted it a few times, “No son, thank you. Can’t wait to treat you to your first Beer with your old man! Alright, I need to get out there and watch Prison Pageant with Lola and Lily, the season finale is coming up and we’ve got bets going on who the winner will be!”
Lincoln smirked at his Dad and nodded, “Alright, Lynn and I are watching a movie, I’ll see you later Dad.”
Lynn Sr nodded as he headed out of the Kitchen with some snacks of his own to join his daughters on the couch, “Alright son, Love you!”
Lincoln nodded, “Love you too Dad.”
Section Break
When Lincoln returned to his room, he found Lynn Jr already inside waiting for him on his bed.
The pretty brunette was laying on her stomach, his laptop already open in front of her as she idly kicked one leg up behind her, while the other laid flat. She had stripped down to just her t-shirt and a pair of tight red boy shorts. Once more Lincoln was forced to confront just how firm and shapely his sister’s tight ass looked. The material of those shorts hugged it like a second skin. God you could bounce a quarter off that thing. He forced his eyes to leave the area of her derriere and instead travel down her toned thighs and calves, down to where her sock covered feet were. She had a sprinkling of freckles on the front of her legs that wrapped around to the side, but the back side was a creamy white.
She favored him with the biggest smile when he came in, her head propped up with both hands, her elbows up on the bed. He noticed she’d taken her ponytail out. Her long dark brown hair flowed over her shoulders, she looked practically nymphic. It almost made his heart stop.
Lynn scooted over and pat the open spot on the bed next to her, “Come on Linc, take off your pants and get over here.”
Lincoln almost dropped the popcorn bowl and Soda he was carrying, his eyes wide as he blinked back at Lynn.
She started laughing at his reaction, rolling onto her side, sending a cascade of pretty brown locks all over shoulder, “I mean put on a pair of shorts Stinkin! Get comfortable, I don’t want you rubbin up against me with your jeans on, it’ll feel weird.”
Lincoln’s face fell into an annoyed frown. He didn’t know if she was messing with him or not, but he did know he would be more comfortable laying on his bed right next to her like this in his shorts or a pair of pajamas, not his jeans.
He set the popcorn and sodas down next to her with a roll of his eyes, and then turned to face away from her as he undid his belt. Lynn watched him the whole time, smirking, “What are you afraid of Linc! You act like I’ve never seen it all before! We used to bathe together!”
Lincoln found himself turning slightly red as he looked over his shoulder and responded quickly, “Lynn! We only did that until I was like 4!”
Only to be met with Lynn’s smirking reply, “You were 5, I was 6. That was when Mom and Dad stopped letting us bathe together. Are you saying it’s changed a lot since then Linc? Besides we still changed in front of each other up until you got your own room.”
Lincoln rolled his eyes again, huffing and looking up at his ceiling, “That was when I was ten Lynn. We didn't exactly go commando in front of each other then either!”
Lynn was undeterred, “Right Linc, so you shared a room with me for ten years. You’re how old now, 19? Technically that means you were actually bunking with me longer than you’ve even had your own room. You used to read your comics in your underwear around me all the time, now suddenly you’re bashful?”
Lincoln knew she was messing with him. Lynn liked to tease him and he always ended up falling into it. That tomboy banter he could never admit to actually finding fun at times. He gave a soft grunt of frustration as he looked back at her, “Alright, alright, just, look at my Laptop, not my butt okay!”
Lynn giggled and then laughed as she turned her head quickly, sending another swish of long brown hair about her elfin features again, “Relax Stinkin, you’re getting worked up over nothing.”
Lincoln undid his belt and muttered to himself as he slipped out of his jeans.
As he was slipping them down his legs, past his knees and bending over slightly, he felt a sudden hard 'thwack!' to his rear end, causing him to jump and reach both of his hands back to cover it in reflex, letting out a yelp of surprise.
This was followed by an explosion of girlish laughter, as he looked over his shoulder, again, and saw Lynn holding her stomach from laughing so hard. She'd smacked his ass.
She looked up at him, mischief and laughter in her eyes, “Nice Butt Bro! You keep that thing firm and tight!”
Lincoln suddenly felt something boiling over in him. A sudden need and desire to assert his own dominance back over his sister. They would play fight like this all the time when they were younger, she used to win, until he got older and bigger than her. Then sometimes he let her win, and other times she would have to play dirty to get him to submit.
He was on her in moments, one arm wrapped around her waist as he grabbed hold and started to try and wrestle her over his legs. She knew immediately what he was doing and let out a high pitch squeal, kicking her feet and wrestling back against him. Yet she wasn't fighting with everything she had, it was still play, it was still a game they were both playing.
Downstairs, Lola, Lily, and Lynn Sr heard the high pitched squeal, but really didn't think much of it. Those noises were kind of common in a house that had seen so many kids in it. It was easy for the three to know what was going on, Lincoln and Lynn were obviously rough-housing with each other. But to the three on the couch, it was nothing but completely innocent. They had all spent years watching Lincoln and Lynn's interactions with one another. If anything, it made Lynn Sr Happy to know his children were getting along, Lily thought it was silly and knew Lincoln must be doing something funny to Lynn Jr, and as for Lola...she was honestly just glad Lincoln was spending some time with someone who wasn't Lucy at the moment.
But upstairs, in the privacy of the room, things were...well they were mostly innocent. Mostly, even as Lincoln wrestled Lynn Jr's flailing body over his legs, and then brought his own hand down hard over that shapely toned ass that had been teasing him since she'd gotten home.
His hand made such a satisfying sounding 'Smack!' as it made contact with her rear, and Lincoln enjoyed the way even with how taut it was, there was still a pleasant subtle jiggle to the action. More he liked how it felt, and of course he didn't stop at just one. He gave her another, and another.
Lynn continued to squeal, kick, and laugh, though her voice changed ever so slightly after the first spank. It became higher pitched, softer, more girlish and he swore he detected the faint hint of a gasp...or a moan with each slap.
He realized he was enjoying this far too much and decided to stop. The point had been made, he'd gotten her back, and the last thing he wanted was to get an erection while she was laying over his legs like this.
He playfully rolled her off of him, back onto the bed, only for Lynn to look back up to him with a look of...almost disappointment on her face. He swore she wanted to ask him why he had stopped, but that was probably just his imagination running away from him. Instead he favored her with a smile of his own, and reached forward running his fingers suddenly through her thick brown hair, giving a soft caress as he spoke, “Let that be a lesson to you. Your little brother isn't so easily beaten now. You have to expect retaliation!”
Lynn smiled back at him and pressed her head up into his hand like an affectionate puppy, that smile in particular was a different kind of smile. One with half lidded eyes, the corners of her lips upturned ever so slightly as she responded, “Pretty good Stinkin', but you'll have to do more than that to truly conquer me.”
Lincoln looked away after hearing those words, after seeing that smile. It was a familiar smile, one he didn't want to think about. He came back to what Lucy had told him again. Lynn and Leni both had loved him too. He didn't know if that was still the case with Lynn, he didn't know what to expect. He just wanted them to be close again, after she had been gone for a year. He just wanted to see her smile like this (well not specifically like this, or did he?) again.
His mind and emotions were a confused morass of feelings he didn't understand. He loved Lucy, truly romantically loved her, and desired her. She had broken pass his moral boundaries and taught him it was okay to lust after the flesh of his sister. Yet there was still that part of him that loved her as her older brother and wanted to protect her, wanted to keep her safe, and wanted her to always feel he was her safe harbor.
Just as he now looked at Lynn and couldn't help but find her so achingly beautiful. She was a combination of strength and vulnerability rolled into one, and again he recognized something about his growing attraction to her. It was the same attraction he held for Ronnie Anne. He realized he had learned that attraction to Ronnie Anne from Lynn. From the sister who had been the one who shaped so much of his identity growing up. He also wanted her love, he wanted her approval. There was the familial part of him that saw Lynn as his senior, and he craved her affection and attention, he craved knowing he was special to her, as all younger siblings do to their elder if they are close.
It took Lynn speaking again to break out of the self reflection he was going through, “You gonna put on some shorts Linc, or just chill in your underwear? Not that I care, but you've been pretty bashful, you should probably put something on.”
Lincoln felt self-conscious again, sat up and went to his dresser, opening it up and putting on a pair of black shorts. The same black shorts he wore the night He and Lucy consummated their love.
From there he turned back to the bed, leaned over knee first onto it, then scooted up next to Lynn before laying down near her.
They were directly near one another, their legs touching, bare skin against bare skin, his shoulder against hers. She leaned closer against him. Putting her head over on his shoulder.
He didn't say anything, it felt nice. He'd grown up so accustomed to her always being the most physical with him out of all of his sisters.
She surprised him then, by nuzzled his shoulder with her cheek, then leaning up and placing a kiss on his own. It was warm and soft and sweet, and then she was back to resting her head against his side once more, “Go on Linc, start the movie!” she commanded excitedly.
Lincoln reached forward with his free hand, and hit space bar on the keyboard, starting the movie up.
For the next two hours they were treated to a visceral ballet of bullets, blood, death, dismemberment, explosions and spectacle.
It was a truly awesome thrill-ride. The two siblings absolutely adored the action on screen. Both dropping their jaw at several moments together, both with eyes wide. Cries of, “Did you see that!?” Followed by, “I know! It was awesome!” and lots of “Whoa!”
Throughout it all they ate handfuls of popcorn, and sucked down cans of sugary soda together. Only pausing the movie once so both could take a quick bathroom break and then run back to the action.
There was no feeling of awkwardness between them in this time. It really was a reunion both had fallen into and enjoyed the longer the day went on together.
Idly, Lynn's sock covered foot began to lean back, and she would run her big toe up and down Lincoln's calf. It was a sweet, comforting, affectionate gesture, and Lincoln didn't feel any need to tell her to stop, complain, or draw attention to it.
Throughout the movie, they would occasionally lean their heads against one another, and enjoy the sensation of closeness.
When the credits finally rolled, of course they had to fast forward and check for any hidden scenes afterwards, and were happy to see one that showed Anti-Hero Wicked John finding a new lost kitten in an alley to take care of.
With it all being over, and two hours spent basking in one another's company they turned it off, taking the screen back to the menu selection of films and tv shows on the streaming service.
Lynn rolled onto her side facing Lincoln as she threw her head back, “That was awesome! I hope they make another one!”
Lincoln rolled onto his side as well, the better to face his older sister as he nodded along, “I know! That was so cool! Especially the scene in the meat locker, with the hooks, slabs of meat and guys slipping on the frozen blood!”
Lynn laughed as she nodded in return, “And the part with the Spetsnaz knife fighter! That was so intense!”
Lincoln grinned as he nodded in agreement, while the two geeked out over the movie together. They smiled and locked eyes, and then shared a gentle relaxed sigh. A silence slowly fell between them, and he saw a guilty look come up over Lynn's features.
Lincoln frowned as he noticed it, speaking up, “Lynn? What's wrong?”
Lynn flicked her big brown eyes at him, then looked away again as she swallowed, “Are you sure, you like spending all this time with me right now?”
It was as if his sister suddenly had doubts about the fun they'd had the last half day together. It surprised him, he didn't know what was bringing this on. Of course he had fun, the day so far had been pretty amazing. He nodded, “Of course Lynn! I missed you so much, this has been great!”
He saw that guilty look fade a little, but still one of worry and concern on her lips as she forced a smile at him, “Good, I want it to be. I know I can be a little, intense sometimes. I feel like I forced you into a lot of things over the years, and that I didn't always take your feelings into account.”
Lincoln didn't know where this was all coming from, but he could see it was eating his sister up, and he wanted nothing more than to stop those feelings in her. He leaned his hand forward and took hold of her own, wrapping his larger digits around her smaller as he spoke softly.
“Lynn, it's okay. I've always had fun with you. You've been there for me all my life. Lynn, who taught me how to ride a bike?”
Lynn gave a soft smile, her eyes looking to his own so vulnerable at the moment as she spoke softly, “I did.”
Lincoln nodded and continued, “Who taught me how to swim?”
Lynn nodded again and continued with that softer tone, “I did.”
Lincoln didn't stop, “Who protected me from bullies, and taught me how to fight so I could protect myself?”
Lynn was full on flushing now, she brought her gaze away, as if the intensity of looking at her brother was too much.
Lincoln responded for her, “You did Lynn. You did all of that. You did so many great things for me growing up. Yeah, you're rough around the edges, and sometimes that was hard to deal with, but you're my big sister. I never wanted you out of my life.”
As he said that, it suddenly hit Lincoln even harder than it had before, when he realized they had barely spent any time together the last year. In this moment he realized which older sister leaving had hurt him the most.
It had been Lynn, it had always been Lynn.
He deeply loved all of his older sisters, Lori, Leni, Luan and Luna... but out of them, Lynn was the one he had spent the most time with. It may have just been a fluke of their age. Maybe he would of felt the same way about Lori if she had been the one he grew up with.
But it hadn't been Lori, it had been Lynn, and he knew he wanted her in his life more.
Lincoln frowned. He was hurt now he realized. Lynn had hurt him when she had barely acknowledged his presence after she went off to University. Lori had come home and been involved in his life far more her first two years of college, then Lynn had been her first year...And Fairway University was Three hours away.
Lincoln surprised himself again as he released the gentle grip on Lynn's hand and brought his palm up to wipe at his eyes as they began tearing up...and he suddenly spoke in a quieter tone, “Lynn. Why did you leave me, when I needed you most?”
Lynn's eyes suddenly took on a slow horrified expression. As if she just realized she had committed a terrible crime. She had abandoned her little brother.
Lincoln continued, “This last year, it was so hard for me. My best friend is gone, I've been stuck here at home, and I had this horrible girlfriend.”
Before he knew it, Lynn had scooted the few inches between them, and suddenly wrapped her arms around her brother's frame again. She pulled him close and held him so tightly, as she responded in a pained tone, “I'm sorry Linc! I'm sorry! I thought, I thought I was doing the right thing!” She could feel her own heart beating harder, as the guilt came crashing down over her.
Hadn't she always prided herself on being his big Sister? Hadn't she always seen it as a duty and responsibility to watch out for him? And because she had committed the crime of loving him too much, she had left him to flounder on his own.
A horrible sick wave came over her, and she turned and started placing kisses on his cheek, and bringing her hand up to run through his white hair. She continued to comfort him as best she could, her eyes now filled with tears of her own, “Linc, I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to leave you like that Lincoln, I just, I just thought...”
Lincoln pulled back just enough so he could look back into her eyes again. He saw the pain on her face, he saw the regret in her eyes, and he knew he wasn't truly upset or angry with her. He knew he had just been sad when he realized how hollow the year without her in his life had felt.
He responded softly, “You thought what Lynn? It's okay, you can tell me.”
Lynn wasn't sure what she should say. Should she tell him the truth? I stayed away because I'm so in love with you I thought I would hurt you? That I thought I would stunt your independence if I stayed in your life too much? That you're the most sweet addicting drug in the world to me, and my life feels so much better with you in it?
Instead she could only tell a version of the truth. Not the full version, but a version none the less, “I've always made demands on you all my life Linc. I forced you to play all those games with me growing up. To go to games with me. To train with me. Heh, I even made you go to all my High School games just so you could write the articles on them. I made you take me to Prom. I just thought, I thought Lincoln...that you deserved some time away from your annoying big sister. That I needed to learn how to live without relying upon you so much for everything.”
He saw her smile sadly, as she looked down, away from his eyes again, “I didn't realize you needed me too.”
Lincoln wrapped his own arms up around his smaller, older sister, and he gave her a genuine smile in return, “It's okay Lynn. I forgive you, I really mean it. I don't think I knew just how much you really meant to me until all this. I think I might of taken our friendship for granted too. Maybe I thought you would always be there and so I didn't have to put any work in it on my end.”
Lynn sighed again, then leaned forward and kissed her brother's cheek once more, “Oh stinkin. We both made a mistake. But we can fix that now. We can make it a point to spend time together again.” He didn't know just how much time Lynn had in mind. But tonight had reminded her of how she could spend every single day with Lincoln and love every moment of it.
Lincoln returned her nod, “I'd like that Lynn. I really would.”
Lynn continued to hold that sweet and beautiful smile as she brought a hand up and wiped one of Lincoln's tears away. Suddenly, she felt very self conscious as an unbelievable urge, a desire welled up inside of her. She didn't want to spoil their mood, but she wanted this so badly, so desperately.
Lincoln suddenly saw the shy expression come over his sister's face and looked curious, but Lynn was looking back to him and speaking what was on her mind.
“H-hey Linc..” She asked.
“Yeah?” Came Lincoln's reply.
“Can I....can I sleep in here with you tonight?” She looked up to him again, so hopefully.
Lincoln felt his heart beat a little faster as he swallowed. Lucy and Lynn.
It had always been those two. He had shared his bed with them the most growing up. Starting with him wanting to share his big sister's bed when he had been so young, to Lucy being scared and wanting to cuddle with him after she came along...to the two of them taking turns bunking with him after they had a fight when they were roommates.
But, it really had been awhile since he had shared his bed with Lynn.
It would have been awhile since he had shared his bed with Lucy too, had she not pushed her way into his affections so easily.
But right now, what he cared about most was his re-connection with his older sister. He nodded his head and smiled again, “Of course you can. I missed you.”
Lynn practically beamed at him with such happiness it made his heart hurt. She pulled herself up against him, and laid her head against his chest, breathing in his scent. Her pretty lustrous brown hair all around him as he hugged her back.
She spoke up, “Thanks Linc. I don't want to lose this feeling I have right now. I really like it.”
Lincoln couldn't stop himself, he leaned down and kissed the top of Lynn's head affectionately and nodded, “I like it too.” Before he realized he had forgotten something, “Oh yeah! Lynn! I forgot to mention! Dad wants to take us to Windsor tomorrow, just you and me, to drink beer with him and watch the fight!”
Lynn looked up her mouth open in shock, her eyes bright as if she was suddenly given some of the best news in the world, “Really?! That's so cool! Oh my god Linc, that's going to be so much fun! I'm so happy I came back this weekend!”
Lincoln laughed as he nodded along, “Yeah I am too.” He reached over and closed his laptop, picking it up with one hand and setting it on the floor with his arm, scooting it under the bed. Lynn and him were plunged into the dark then, all except for the moon light streaming in through the window.
Lynn didn't let go of him. She nuzzled closer into her younger brother, and then with a surprise for Lincoln, turned in place against him, turned until she had her back against his strong chest, and had both of his arms around her. Turned and scooted so the two of them were spooning.
It took Lincoln a little aback, but he didn't move his arms. Instead Lynn seemed to shimmy and shift until she was more comfortable, until her body fit up against his just right. Her smaller form enveloped in the safety and warmth of her brother, and then she spoke again..
“Lincoln...” her voice was even softer now...scared.
And Lincoln could only respond in the most soothing tone he could manage, “Yeah Lynn?”
There was a pause, as if Lynn was afraid to ask him what she wanted. He waited patiently, until she finally spoke up, “Will you...will you please hold me tonight?”
Lincoln felt his heart beat a little faster. Felt his throat get a little dryer, but more than that was the overwhelming need to comfort Lynn. For some reason, he understood now...The last year had been just as hard for her.
As much as he had suffered without her, he could feel it now. She had suffered without him. He didn't know everything she went through, but he was certain of it in his bones, and he wanted nothing more than to soothe her as she did the same to him.
His response was to pull her tighter against him. He leaned in and kissed just beneath her ear as he responded in a whisper, “All night Lynn. I promise.”
He felt her reach up and take hold of his arms with her hands. Squeezing them as he felt her body give a soft shiver and heard her sniffle once. She leaned down and kissed the tops of his arms before settling back in.
“Thank you...” she responded.
It was quiet for a moment, before Lincoln spoke up again in his whisper, “Hey Lynn?”
He heard her respond as she yawned softly, “Yeah Linc?”
“I love you.” Came his response.
There was another pause, and he swore he could tell she was smiling just as brightly as he saw earlier.
“I love you too Stinkin'.”
The two fell asleep shortly after that.
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The Shadow of his Heart