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Subtext Is So Not The Pretext	By : tecate Category: Kim Possible > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Kim/Shego Views: 19901 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
Disclaimer:
I do not own Kim Possible. Dr. Sears is mine I suppose. Did I mention this story was KiGo? This is one of those character development chapters. Kimmie just goes on and on! Oh, and I like reviews so please send me some.

Chapter 17: The World Is Shrinking
Kim briefly saw Ron in the hall as she walked into the detention room for day two of her in school suspension. She missed him and wondered what he and Monique were up to. She didn’t think she could take three more days of this. Detention was so boring. She had already finished all of her term papers and studied for the last four finals she had. There was quite literally nothing for her to do.
“Possible. No sleeping!” Mr. Barkin yelled at her.
“I’ve nothing to do Mr. Barkin,” Kim whined sitting up at her desk and trying not to yawn.
“You’ve got all of your term papers written?”
“Yes. I just need to print them out but I can’t because I don’t have a computer,” the teen replied sounding a bit too sassy in Stevie’s opinion.
Barkin got up and went to the teacher’s closet. He pulled out an old word processor. “Here you go Possible,” he thundered setting the relic on her desk and plugging it in.
“What’s this, a typewriter?” she asked. “I’ve already written my papers. They’re on my computer. The only one I had printed out was for English just to proofread it.” She held up the completed paper and waved it in the teacher’s face for emphasis.
“Good then you can rewrite them on here,” Mr. Barkin growled.
“You can’t be serious,” Kim spat getting angry.
“Possible, I don’t care what you do, just as long as you’re busy!” he barked getting close to her. “And QUIET!” he yelled looking at the rest of the students in detention.
Kim Possible just stared at the blank paper in front of her. She didn’t know what to do. Then she started typing.
B A R K I N S U C K S!!! THIS SUCKS! EVERYTHING SUCKS!
She giggled. Okay this could be fun. She started typing everything she was feeling. Page after page, she typed all though lunch and the next thing she knew the day was over.
“Come on Possible, school’s over and today you don’t have to clean the bathrooms,” Barkin’s voice boomed snapping her out of her writing spell. “Your mother’s already waiting for you outside.”
“My mother?” Kim wondered out loud. Why would she come for me and not dad? She quickly gathered her things and ran to her locker. She tossed all of the papers she had typed inside and hurried out to her mother’s car.
“I hope you didn’t cancel any surgeries just to pick me up,” she stated to her mom as she got into the car.
“It’s okay,” Mrs. Dr. Possible dismissed the suggestion. “You have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon.”
“I do?” Kim replied, trying to think of which doctor it could be. She was current on everything and she had just been to the dentist three weeks ago. “Which doctor? I feel fine.”
“It’s Dr. Sears. She’s one of the best psychiatrists in town and an old college roommate of mine,” her mother answered.
“No… Aww Mom, not a shrink!” the teen groaned in disgust. “I’m fine!”
“Kimmie, you have a two hour session with her and I think you’ll find that she’s very friendly and easy to talk to.” her mother told her. “It won’t be so bad.”
The teen folded her arms and looked out the window. She was furious. She had spent all day putting her conflicting feelings on paper as a way to pass time and now she had to go talk about them!
”Ugh,” she grunted as her mom pulled up to the medical office building. She got out of the car slamming the door and grumbled all the way to the front desk.
“5:30 for Possible,” Kim’s mom announced to the secretary.
“Just sign here and fill out this form,” the clerk instructed her. “The doctor will see you as soon as you’re finished. You’re her last patient of the day,” she said looking up and smiling over to Kim who just kept growling.
“Thank you,” Mrs. Dr. Possible replied and the two Possibles went to sit in the empty waiting room. A few minutes later Dr. Sears came out. Kim’s mother immediately stood up and went to embrace her former roommate.
“Annie, it’s SO good to see you!” the doctor exclaimed hugging Dr. Possible tightly.
“It’s good to see you too Cat,” Anne Possible sang returning the doctor’s hug with equal enthusiasm. The two women pulled away from each other but kept their hands on each other’s waists.
Dr. Sears turned to look at Kim who was just staring at them. “Oh, she looks just like you!” Dr. Catherine Sears cooed looking at the young redhead and smiling.
“I think you’ll find she has my…” Dr. Possible began finally breaking the embrace and moving towards Kimmie.
“Wild streak,” Dr. Sears finished and the two women broke out in laughter. Kim wasn’t enjoying this one bit and she was determined to make the next two hours as painful on the doctor as it was going to be for her.
KPKPKPKP
Shego had been up most of the night and slept most of the day. Drew didn’t dare disturb her. He was actually afraid of what she might do to him if he dared try to wake her. Instead he decided to take the day off and was quietly reading in his library when Shego came into the room. She was dressed in a brown business suit and her hair was pulled back by a headband.
“I’m going out,” she said. Drew nodded to her but did not say anything. Wow she looks nice! Must be another date! Why doesn’t she tell me who she’s dating? I’ll understand. It’s not like there’s anything between us. “She’s just the hired help!” he attempted to convince himself. I don’t care who she’s dating.
Shego took one of the hovercrafts and flew off to Middleton. She had something she wanted to leave for Kim Possible.
The former heroine walked into Middleton High as Miss Go and broke into Kimmie’s locker. She saw all the random papers and the absence of Kim’s computer. If it wasn’t for the pictures of herself and Dr. Drakken on the inside of the door the villain would have thought she had the wrong locker. She looked at the top paper in Kim’s locker. ‘SHEGO’ was typed out on it several times.
Shego started reading the paper. She thumbed through the other pages and smiled. She took the papers out and left Kim a few things. She walked out of the school and back to the hovercraft. The evil woman wanted so badly to see her Kimmie but she decided it was better to wait. After all, the ball was now in the young hero’s court.
KPKPKPKP
Fifteen minutes had passed and Kim still had hardly uttered a word to Dr. Sears. “Kim I understand that since you don’t know me you feel that you cannot talk to me but nothing said here will get back to your mother… or anyone.”
“Fine!” Kim spat, “You wanna know why I destroyed the girl’s restroom.” Let’s see the shock on your face about this one, the teen smirked.
“Well we could start with that or maybe something that happened before that,” the woman suggested.
Kim took a deep breath and began to let it all out. “I think I’m in love,” she stated, “And I think that… NO, I know that this person loves me.”
Dr. Sears scribbled a note down.
“What are you writing? I haven’t said anything yet!” Kim blustered getting paranoid.
“I’m just making a note Kim.” Dr. Sears looked up at her. “I noticed you didn’t mention a gender when you said that the other person loved you.”
“Yeah, so?” the girl retorted trying to keep cool but starting to panic.
“Well usually that indicates that you’re intentionally hiding this person’s gender,” the doctor remarked to her.
Kim sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. “It’s a girl!” the teen shouted, “I’m in love with another woman.”
“Good! That’s a good start,” the doctor responded pleased. “And I take it you haven’t told anyone about your girlfriend.”
“No, and she’s not my girlfriend,” Kim spat slightly bewildered. “Look, I really do wanna talk to someone but this is all so… new to me.”
“It‘s okay, please continue,” the doctor urged.
“Well, I’ve been having these feelings for a while now. I mean at first I just thought it was my subconscious way of projecting my rage and hate for her and turning it into some twisted sexual desire.”
Dr. Sears scribbled again and Kim paused. “Then I got to really know her but it really wasn’t her because she wasn’t herself. See, she was hit with this mind ray thingy and it made her so sweet but then she turned back to being nasty and that’s when I sort of started flirting with her and she flirted with me… before I knew it we were doing it left and right!” Kim stopped and finally took a breath.
“And this is the girl you attacked at school?” Dr. Sears inquired.
“Oh God NO! Bonnie?” Kim shrieked. “As if! No, I really hate Bonnie Rockwaller,” the cheerleader snapped in disgust, “That’s just… ugh!” She shivered at the sick thought.
“It’s…” she hesitated, “I really shouldn’t tell you.”
“What’s there to lose by telling me Kim? You’d be surprised by how many women have flings with each other,” the doctor remarked smiling at her as if she knew something.
I don’t think this is a fling. “It’s Shego,” Kim softly disclosed looking down.
“Shego?” the doctor repeated looking in Kim’s chart at the page that her mother had filled out. “Oh I see,” the doctor stated, “Your mother suspected it might be her.”
“What!?!” Kim shrieked standing up, “My mom knows!” That’s impossible!
“Well your mother suspected you might be experiencing some confusion with your sexuality,” Dr. Sears explained, “I asked her if she knew who the other woman was and the list was remarkably short.”
“How short?” Kim growled narrowing her eyes suspiciously.
“Just three names,” the doctor answered, “But ‘Shego’ was the first name your mother wrote down.”
“How does she know?” Kim breathed in disbelief. How long has she known? Oh my God! Does dad know?
“You’ll have to ask her that. Now Kim, you know that it’s okay to be a lesbian. It’s nothing for you to be ashamed of.”
“I am not ashamed of being a lesbian,” she countered. If I even am a lesbian, maybe it’s just her. “I’m ashamed of falling in love with someone like Shego.”
Kim got up from the couch and started to pace in the office. “I mean really, she’s an evil villain. I’m a good guy. We can’t be together.”
“If she’s so bad, what is it you like about this Shego woman then?” the doctor prodded.
Kim stopped pacing and looked up in the air. “It’s…” Everything! The young hero sighed and sat back down on the couch. “She’s so beautiful… and smart and when she wants to be she can be so good and caring,” Kim admitted sighing again. “She’s an excellent fighter and…” Kim stopped and blushed.
“Yes, go on,” Cat insisted.
“She drives me crazy!” she admitted with her blush deepening and smiling finally. “When we’re together it’s like she knows what I’m thinking. It’s like we’re the only two people that understand each other.” The doctor smiled back at her. “If she wasn’t on the wrong side of the law I wouldn’t have broken up with her.”
“You ended it with her?” the doctor responded.
“Yes, the day I had my ‘meltdown’,” Kim clarified rolling her eyes and using air quotes.
“You didn’t want to end it with her?” the doctor guessed writing again.
“No, of course not, but I knew nothing good would come of our relationship. It seemed ridiculous to continue it because we were becoming too emotionally involved,” Kim continued standing up again. “On my last mission against Dr. Drakken (her boss) I even had sex with her during the mission! I’m such a horrible person!”
Slut is more like it, Kim chastised herself as she began pacing again. “But… I thought it was all just physical and something I could easily walk away from. But… oh damn it! I do love her! It’s more than just physical and I hurt so much without her.” Kim’s eyes started to water.
“Tell me some more about her. Where did you meet her, how did she become a villain and when did you start seeing her as something more than an adversary,” the doctor asked.
Kim’s expression changed as she thought about her history with Shego. There was so much she still didn’t know about Sheridan Go. “I don’t know how she became a villain exactly. She used to be a member of Team Go along with her superhero brothers. They all have super powers. Shego’s makes her skin slightly green and she can make this plasma like energy with her hands. They would protect Go City fighting crime and she was really good at it. She was even named Global Justice’s Hero Of The Year. Then something happened and she started to want to be a bad guy. She left her brothers and went to work as a sidekick for Dr. Drakken who’s an evil scientist,” Kim finished and sat down. “That’s when I met her, on one of my first missions.”
“So Shego was once a global crime fighter and good just like you,” the doctor implied.
“Yep,” Kim reaffirmed.
“Well then she could be good again,” the doctor stated.
“I don’t think so.” Kim walked over to the window and stared out at the nearly empty parking lot below. “Shego’s had MANY chances to return to the side of justice. She doesn’t want to.” The hero turned to face the doctor. “And… I’m not sure I want her to.”
“What do you mean by that?” Dr. Spears asked turning the paper she had over and writing again. “You would rather be adversaries than lovers?”
“NO, that isn’t what I mean at all…” Kim dispelled the suggestion returning to the couch. “I guess…” she paused. I like her bad. I want her to be bad! I NEED HER TO BE BAD! How can I be good if she’s not bad?
“It’s part of her attraction,” the doctor surmised trying to urge the teen on.
Kim nodded. “I know it’s sick and wrong for me to think this way but from the first time I saw her I felt a connection.” She leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes remembering the grainy black and white surveillance footage of Shego breaking into Professor Acari’s Amazon lab. “It was like, WOW, the way she moved… I had never seen anyone move like that.”
Kim smiled then laughed. “It was like looking at the opposite of me.” She sat up and clarified, “I mean, I guess technically Ron, my boyfr-… um ex-… um, my best friend would be the opposite of me. Shego’s more like…” Kim wasn’t sure how to word what she wanted to say. The other half of me?
“So you see yourself in Shego,” the doctor guessed half asking.
“Not exactly, I see myself with Shego,” Kim corrected and laid back down closing her eyes again, envisioning her thoughts.
“It is like we’re the Sun and the Moon. We are two totally different bodies. We each have our place in the universe and at times we even mimic the same functions just on two totally different planes. We both have our own domain where we rule. But sometimes…” She took a deep long breath. “Sometimes we enter into each other’s territory. And for a brief moment we share the same space knowing we can’t stay there together because the world needs us as night and day.” Kim opened her eyes and looked at the doctor.
“Nice use of metaphors Kim,” Dr. Sears complimented the teen smiling softly. She IS her mother’s daughter. “Now, do you ever see yourself joining Shego?”
“As in evil?” Kim asked sitting up bolt right. “NEVER!”
“Then why did you end it with her IF you weren’t afraid of succumbing to Shego’s lifestyle.”
“Because… one of us would have to change and I couldn’t live with that.” Kim responded finally sighing.
“Are you sure? Change isn’t a bad thing.”
“Look, I knew it wasn’t gonna work out, plain and simple. You jump to land somewhere else, you fall to hit the ground. I jumped!” Kim stated.
“You sure look like you hit the ground Kim,” Dr. Sears observed.
“So then, what am I supposed to do now?” the teen spat angrily knowing the doctor was right.
“Let’s forget for a while your professional roles and think of your personal life and what you want from that. You’re way too young to start making life changing sacrifices for your career.”
“Hobby.” Kim interjected.
The doctor nodded and continued, “If you love Shego and she loves you, don’t run from your feelings no matter how strong and scary they may be. You’d be surprised how accepting people are of love. Even when it’s not… let’s just say… ordinary.”
Kim thought long and hard about what the doctor had said. If her mom already suspected something and hadn’t kicked her out of the house maybe at the very least her family would accept her. Still, what’s the point if I’ve already lost Shego? And Ron, how do I tell Ron?
“What if she doesn’t want me anymore? Then all of this was for nothing,” Kim said finally. The doctor narrowed her eyes at the beautiful young redhead and sat down her notepad. “Do you really believe that?” “I don’t know. I guess not.” Kim took a deep breath and thought about Shego and the look in her eyes when they broke up. “Still, it’ll never work.”
“You’ll never know until you try. Life isn’t supposed to be simple and love isn’t supposed to be easy.” Cat replied. “Would you refuse to go on a mission just because you think that in the long run you’ll have to rescue the same person again?”
Kim smiled. “That actually happens a lot!” The young hero snorted shaking her head. “And of course I’d still help them but this isn’t the same thing. Shego’s…” the redhead stopped herself and a broad smile spread across her face. “I know what I want but how...? Everyone’s gonna hate me.”
“What’s more important?” Cat picked up the note pad again and jotted something else down. “Kim, ultimately the decision on how to live your life and with whom is yours and yours alone.”
“So I guess I need to... um, come out of the, you know… closet.” the young hero concluded stroking her chin and pondering the next steps in the process.
“Yes Kim, I think that would be a good start!” Dr. Sears agreed looking at her watch. “Time’s up. How do you feel?”
“Much better actually!” Kim Possible acknowledged smiling proudly; she was finally feeling like her old self once again.
- 16
- 17
- 18
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Subtext Is So Not The Pretext