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Of Hearts and Shells: 50 Shades of Green	By : prplraven Category: +S through Z > Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Views: 2973 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: TMNT and all associated characters are property of their original creators. This fic is for entertainment only, and I receive no monies from this publication.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
Donnie blended the Kraang blood into the retro-mutagen with utmost delicacy. There was no room for mistakes; no mismeasurements, no bubbles in the solution, no knocking anything to the floor. Every move he made was careful and deliberate. After coming this far, there was no way he would let her down now.
He droppered a sample of the infusion onto a slide, added a droplet of April’s blood, covered the slide, and peered at it under the microscope. Four faces at the doorway held their breath in anticipation. He turned to them, smiled, and nodded. The turtles by the door and their master let out whoops of triumph. Donatello exhaled in relief. Fear that he would have to start from scratch allayed, he drew a syringe full of the magenta mixture.
There it was at last: the key to April’s bonds, the key to her future. She would be human again, she would go home, see her father, date Casey, go to school, live in the world she was supposed to live in. And he… he would fall away into the background, where he was supposed to be. Maybe someday, he’d be able to forget about how much he loved her, though right now it was breaking his heart to let her—make her go.
He knew what he had to do. He braced himself, and sighed, then rose and strode out of his lab.
A cheer went up as he exited the lab. Donnie gave his brothers a wan smile, really wishing they wouldn’t… it felt farcical compared to what he was feeling. Splinter, however, seemed to know the feeling of the occasion better, and wore a more somber expression. He gave Donatello an understanding nod.
“Where is she?”
“In my quarters. Take as much time as you need.”
Mikey moaned like the evening entertainment had been cancelled. “We don’t get to watch her change back??”
“This is a private moment for the two of them. I believe you all have chores to attend to, do you not?” The guys groaned with disappointment, but moved off as ordered. Splinter, too, found something in the kitchen to busy himself with.
Donnie slid the rice-paper door to Splinter’s study shut. The scent of freshly-burned incense hung in the air. April was seated on her knees; Splinter had likely been leading her in meditation, despite her chained state.
He wanted to feel her love, to know her mind again, just one more time. He knew it was risky, but if this was the last chance they got to synergize… He gazed into her eyes and opened up to her.
He was instantly seized by a powerful lust he’d known no equal to. The power of her need overcame him, becoming his need as well. Oh god… help! he cried out as he was caught in the undertow of her fierce desire. His cock slid out from under his shell, swelling and pulsing insistently. He threw the chained turtle down on her plastron on the ornate rug, positioning himself behind her.
We want this… have to have this, they thought as one, but then Donnie struggled, forcing himself away from the unity.
Wait, what?! No!
It was as though the toxic lust itself was in control of them both. Far under the tidal wave of emotion, he heard and felt April: Please stop! Help me!
His body moved without his consent; she had control of it, in the same way they had spoken through one another. He fought to regain control as she lined his massive member up with her cloaca. No, stop! Stop! I don’t want this!
Yes, you do, part of himself, merged with her, insisted. We both do. He felt the head of his dick start to penetrate her.
No! He thrashed against the wall of desirous feelings, trying to reclaim control of his body. I won’t let you use us like this—either of us! He ripped his mind away from hers, grabbing his head at the temples as the pain blinded him. He threw himself backward away from her, scooting several feet backward in a crab-walk. He panted, noticing that he’d broken out in a cold sweat. April was groaning through her gag as the headache assaulted her as well.
Enough was enough. He jumped to his feet, grabbed up the syringe and plunged it into her shoulder, injecting the retro-mutagen as soon as he was sure the needle was in.
She started screaming with agony as every cell in her body was altered back to its original state. Her bulbous turtle beak shrank back into her human face, her fingers and toes split, her shell shrank and was absorbed into her body. The chains holding her, clinking, slipped off as her body became thinner. She brushed them aside, pulling Donnie’s mask from her mouth as she panted, the transformation complete. She stood, wobbling a little as she reaccustomed herself to her body, wincing from the headache.
“Oh! Um… er…” Donnie realized he’d forgotten something crucial, and turned his back to her to preserve her modesty.
Casey had been right in his assessment, which April vocalized with an embarrassed yelp: “I’m completely naked!” She did her best to cover herself with her arms, but a moment later, a red kimono dropped over her shoulders. Donnie hadn’t heard his master enter, but his mind had been on other things for the last few minutes, namely the searing fire that had been engulfing it. Thankfully, it was ebbing. He stepped out of Splinter’s study as April dressed.
She wrapped herself up in the silk garment gladly, though it was quite long on her. “Thank you, Sensei,” she said in relief, tying the obi behind her.
The rat master looked down at her kindly, standing in his white hamaka, and assisted her with the knot. “Bring it back to me when you can. I am rather fond of it.” He gave her a small bow, dismissing her. April rushed to Donatello immediately, impeding his progress as he tried to walk off without speaking to her.
“Donnie… I’m so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you… I didn’t have control over it, I couldn’t help it… I couldn’t stop!” she blurted out all at once. “I’m sorry, Donnie! I love you!”
He refused to look at her. His body felt like stone, cold and immobile.
“Say something!” she pleaded.
He turned his head further away from her, as much to keep from seeing her face as to hide his own. Then he said three words he thought he would never say to her:
“April… please go.”
She choked off a sob, two teardrops staining the concrete, then ran. The sound of her crying echoed back to him as she cleared the steps and disappeared into the tunnels. Two more tears spattered to the ground beside April’s, followed by another pair.
“Hey, Leo. Is Donnie around?”
Leo looked up from his spot on the floor before the TV. “Sorry, April… Haven’t seen him.”
She saddened, then put on a falsely bright expression. “Well… I was only bringing Sensei’s kimono back to him anyway. Maybe I’ll catch him later.”
“I’ll tell him you were looking for him,” Leo smiled back at her, but shook his head as she left.
Donnie pried apart the rivets on the Van de Graaff dome. He could use the metal for another project… or that was the excuse, anyway. Anything to make sure that whenever April was due to come by, he was elsewhere… preferably somewhere he couldn’t be found. Maybe if he was continually unavailable, she’d stop coming to try to see him. He resumed his normal amount of training and duties around the lair, but arranged it so that he was free in the afternoons to leave the lair before April came to train. Any patrol she cared to join he begged off from, and Leo, well aware of his brother’s feelings, thoughtfully let him stay behind. He made it a point to always have somewhere to be on Thursday nights, like tonight, when she came to cook, still dutifully keeping her promise to the guys.
His stomach notified him of how late it was getting—well past the time she would have gone home—so he packed it in and headed back to the lair to raid the fridge. As with the previous two weeks, there was a plate of food with “For Donnie” written on the foil. He felt that he should not be accepting of these tokens, as it would just encourage her, but he also didn’t want to let her cooking—which she didn’t even like doing that much—go to waste. He carefully scraped the beef stroganoff onto another plate, then replaced the foil and stuck it back in the fridge to make it look like he hadn’t touched it, next to a likewise empty plate that had been spaghetti and meatballs, also labeled for him.
Raph came into the kitchen and grabbed a soda from the fridge. He watched Donnie shoveling cold stroganoff down his gullet. “You know, she’s gonna catch up with you eventually. And Leo’s only gonna put up with covering for you so long…”
Don gave him a noncommittal “Mmmh,” and continued eating.
“Dude… Donnie, you’re gonna have to talk to her. You should quit being a coward about it and just face her down. Tell her to get lost.”
Donatello looked askance at him. He didn’t know if it was worth explaining to Raph why April kept coming around and why, exactly, he didn’t want to see her. Finishing his meal, he threw the dish in the sink and headed for the living area, joining Mikey, who was spread out along one bench playing a game on his T-phone. “Hey.”
He thought that Mikey ignored him, too enthralled in his game, but a moment later, out of nowhere, he said, “I miss Apritello.”
Donnie snorted. “Sorry to sink your ‘ship, man. I thought you were tired of us going off together anyway.”
“Kinda. At least then, you guys had a good vibe. Things aren’t the same with you avoiding her and all… Agh! Die! Die! Die!” he suddenly screamed at his game, mashing buttons. “I told you she wasn’t gonna give you up.”
“Well, she’s going to have to, ‘cause I don’t want to see her any more.”
“I think he’s scared of her,” Raphel teased from the entryway of the kitchen.
Mikey laughed this off. “Pfff, Donnie, afraid of April… good one, Raph…”’
“Heh,” Donnie conceded, becoming immediately introspective while his brothers laughed. Mikey caught his look and stopped laughing.
“Wait… Don, you’re not actually scared of her…?” he queried, abandoning his game. Raphael looked like Christmas had come early, doubling over with laugher.
Donnie set his jaw. No more denial. Denial had brought him nothing but trouble. “Actually… yes. What I saw in her the night she went home, it absolutely terrified me.”
“Why?” Raph asked, wheezing and clutching his sides. “Did she… did she ask you to marry her?”
Donnie shook his head. “What she almost did to us... to me…” He looked to Raph. “You would’ve shit your shell.”
Raph sobered at last. “You’re serious…”
Don squinted his eyes shut. “She took me over, my body, almost all of my mind, too. And when I tried to get her to stop, she just kept going, using my body to rape her…”
“Wait, wait… she was using your body to rape herself?” Raph stopped him, confused. “You’re making this shit up...”
“I know it sounds weird…” Donnie acceded. “In psychology terms, it makes more sense: this whole time, I think her superego, her restraint, was put out of commission by the mutation… Most of the time, her ego was still in control, but heavily influenced by her id, the part that demands she satisfy all her desires. But toward the end, her id-mind had nearly taken full control of her, overwhelming her ego… and then trying to use me to rape her ego and superego.”
Raph’s voice sounded hollow as he said, “So she was using you as…” he trailed off.
“Effectively, she was using me as a sex toy.”
Raph and Mikey both looked aghast. “Holy sewer shit on a stick, Don…” Raph exclaimed. Donnie nodded; that summed things up pretty well.
“But… she’s fixed now, right?” Mikey checked. “She’s not the thing that attacked you now, right?”
“She should be back to normal,” Donnie assured him. “She sounded like it when she left…”
“So there’s no reason to still be scared of her, right?”
Don eyed him. “I see what you’re trying to do, Mikey, and even if I could get over what her alter-ego did to me that fast, I’m still not letting her lead a dead-end life down here.”
“Heh, dead-end! There are no dead-ends, only new beginnings! Just take things as they come, and don’t worry so much about the future. Booyakasha, bro. Glory to the moment.”
“Is that what ‘booyakasha’ means?” Raph asked.
“I dunno. But if not, it’s sure what it should mean.”
Donnie cracked a smile at his little brother. “Ya know, Mikey, you’re smarter than people give you credit for. Sometimes, anyway.”
“I know, right? I keep trying to tell you guys that, but you never listen to me!”
“How’s she coping?”
“I dunno, man… She’s just not the same since she came back,” Casey informed Donnie as they sat on the steps before patrol. “Like… she’s trying to keep this pasted-on fake smile up for everyone, but she’s so obviously… lost. She won’t look me in the eye. And the other night, we were just hanging out, talking, and she busts out in tears. What to you say to that, man? I don’t know what to do when a girl cries!”
“I think you’re just supposed to be there to cry on at those moments,” Donnie guessed.
Casey shook his head, resting his elbows on his knees. “Girls are complicated.”
“You have no idea…”
“Good job, Jamal!” Donnie praised, accepting the flask of mutagen from the raccoon mutant. “Can you tell me where you found it on this map?”
Frito scanned the map on Donnie’s phone. “It was near the lake… so… about here.” He tapped the phone, adding a dot to the map.
Donnie saved and examined the place Frito had marked. “Huh, look at that.” He let the kid look at the phone with him. “That means there’s this whole area here that we didn’t know to search in. And now, thanks to you, we do! Good job!” he smiled.
Frito nodded, seeming proud of himself. “Where’s April?” he asked.
“She had to go home,” Donatello explained to the little raccoon. “I finished her retro-mutagen, so I’m starting work on yours now.”
Frito’s forehead scrunched together. “Didn’t she want to stay with you?”
There was that kid’s uncanny ability to shoot for the heart again… “Yeah, she did…”
“Didn’t you want her to stay?”
Donnie sighed. After thinking about the question for a moment, he answered, not untruthfully, “Yeah. I did.”
“So… why didn’t she?” the raccoon kid asked.
“She didn’t belong there. It’s complicated.” Donnie ruffled the fur on his head as he stood to leave. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Frito gave him a flat glare as he left. “I hate it when grown-ups say that…”
As he was on the way home from visiting Frito, Donnie’s phone started chirping its lovey-dovey tone that signaled a text from April. He rolled his eyes; he’d have to change that to something unromantic, and soon. He’d been ignoring most of her texts… well, he’d read them, just hadn’t replied. This one, though…
Urgent: NEED to talk to u. Pls see me.
He considered just deleting it, but didn’t. Raph was right… he couldn’t keep running forever. He needed to get over his fear of her. And if April was saying something was urgent… He almost passed it off as another attempt to manipulate him. But if he was right that she was back to normal now, what were the chances she’d still be trying to fool him somehow? And if by chance she wasn’t… well, he’d need to do something about it.
Fine, he typed. On way home from Cav’s. Meet @ lair 9pm?
9’s good, came the response, almost instantly. CU then.
He had all but changed his mind by the time he reached the lair, but April was waiting for him outside the platform. “You’re early,” he noted, trying to sound surprised rather than disappointed that he didn’t have a chance to skulk off before she arrived.
“I figured I’d be extra-punctual to make sure I didn’t ‘just miss’ you again,” she retorted. “You’re a busy turtle these days…”
He sat down by her side. “Well, somebody’s gotta do… pretty much everything, really.” Donnie cast about to find something else for small talk. He didn’t want to be too cordial with her. “So how’s… your father doing? He must be happy to have you home.”
April snorted. “Over the moon. You’d think he hadn’t seen me for two months.”
“Well, I guess that’s technically true… He didn’t really see you you, he saw turtle-you.”
“Yeah, but I was still the same person. …Some of the time.” She blushed and fell silent, looking away. “Thanks for saving me from… ‘myself.’” She buried her face in her hands. “Oh, Donnie, I’m so, so sorry! I couldn’t stop it! I tried, but it was too strong! And what it tried to do to you…” She let out a wail, collapsing into tears.
He hugged her to him without a second thought. Raph was right to laugh at him… This frail little thing was what he’d been scared of facing? “Shhh…” he murmured, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. “To us,” he reminded her. “It went after us both.”
She sniffled. “I must be the most horrible person ever, to have something so hideous inside me…”
“No,” he said warmly, bumping her forehead with his. “I know you’re not… You were just… unwell. You couldn’t control yourself.”
She shook her head. “It was like, the part of me that controlled my inhibitions was being blocked off. Even if I didn’t want to do something, I couldn’t stop myself from doing it…”’
“…And that little part of you that was blocked off was crying for help. God, I was so stupid… I should’ve paid more attention... I might have been able to do something if I’d only caught it early on… but no, I was having too much fun with you… and you were so irresistible! So I didn’t stop, and you couldn’t stop even if you’d wanted…” A horrified look came across his face as a gut-wrenching thought crossed his mind. “Jesus, April… Did I… Was I raping you every time we—?!”
April’s jaw dropped. “No!” she breathed, her voice nearly deserting her. “No! My poor, sweet Donnie!” She pulled him to her, cuddling his face, then pushed him back to look him in the eye. “Don’t you ever think that!” she told him, nearly in tears herself. “I wanted you! Every time… I wanted you to! Just… some of them would have been against my better judgment and humility, is all… ” She rolled her eyes. “And the constant drive to have sex all the time… I know teenagers are notoriously horny all the time, but, uff! It was exhausting! At the end, I couldn’t stop myself at all anymore… I didn’t have the strength.”
Donnie really didn’t want to bring it up, but thought that he had to. “So, Raph…”
She winced obviously also hoping the topic wouldn’t come up. “Raph was… convenient. I needed someone right there and then, and since you were being difficult…” she trailed off, then went off on another tack. “I tried to synergize with him. His mind was so closed off, it was like hitting a brick wall. With spikes on it.”
He laughed. “Typical Raph…”
“I guess,” she smiled, but it faded away quickly. She turned mournful eyes back to Donnie. “I didn’t do it to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you…” She stroked his face. “I really did want to stay with you as a turtle.”
Sighing, he turned his head away from her. “I wish I hadn’t had to break my promise to you. If things were normal, I’d’ve fought to let you stay… but things are never normal, are they?”
“Not around you guys, they’re not.”
Donnie grimaced. “…which is why I want you to go back to your life up top. I don’t want to be the millstone around your neck. I want you to be—“
“—free, you’ve said. You’ve got a very limited definition of freedom, you know.”
He blinked. “What? How?”
“Well, you want me to be free to make my own choices, live my own life, right?
“Right,” he agreed, suddenly feeling like he was being backed into a corner.
“I’ve made my choice, and you keep pushing me away like it’s wrong. Freedom doesn’t just mean freedom to go. It also means freedom to stay.”
Donnie’s heart soared at what she was implying. “But…”
“No buts! I’m not leaving my soul-mate. Period.”
Donnie sighed and rubbed his forehead. “This is going to make things really complicated… Our lives couldn’t possibly get crazier, could they?”
April didn’t answer, looking down and fidgeting. Maybe now wasn’t the time…
“You missed your cue,” he said, nudging her with an elbow. “This is the part where you say you’re pregnant.”
She looked back at him, words catching in her throat, but her eyes said enough. Surprise smacked Donnie upside the head; he’d only been teasing her. “You’re pregnant?”
She gave a slight nod. “I’ve decided to keep it.”
The sun itself couldn’t have outshone Donnie’s face at that moment. “You’re pregnant!” he repeated enthusiastically.
She giggled at him with a smirk. “We’ve already established that…”
He hauled her to her feet and grabbled her around the waist, spinning her around wildly on the platform. “I’m gonna be a father!!” he hollered. She shrieked with laughter as he gave her a toss in the air and caught her again, planting beaky turtle kisses across her face. “When? How far along are you?” he asked.
She shook her head. “ I was a week before my cycle when I got turned, and then things worked different… reptilian biology and all… Could be a few weeks, could be near three months… I haven’t gone to the doctor’s yet…” Her face grew somber for a moment. “There’s a chance… that… it’s Raph’s…”
Donnie gave a dismissing shake of his head. “Doesn’t matter. I’m claiming it as mine.”
She beamed at this, staring into his eyes. He gazed back into hers, unable to wipe the smile from his face. Love and relief and excitement filled him from her as their synergy snapped into place, familiar as ever, emotions singing back and forth between them. Huh, it still works, he noticed.
Sure it does, April thought, as though this was obvious. Our souls still know each other.
“Oh, April, I love you! I love you so much!” he said aloud.
“I love you too, my sweet Donnie!”
- 15
- 16
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Of Hearts and Shells: 50 Shades of Green