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My Life as a Teenaged Von Neumann Device	By : Toonspew Category: +M through R > My Life as a Teenage Robot Views: 21219 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own My Life as a Teenage Robot, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
Chapter 16

Hiding in the shadows cast by a large oak and crouching behind a row of hedges, Tiff Crust paused. A short distance ahead of her was her quarry, Brad Carbunkle, who was currently unaware that Tiff was stalking him. At least she thought so... she had made certain to leave at least twenty yards between them, and in Brad's emotional state he probably wasn't paying a lot of attention to his surroundings anyhow. Brad tried to hide it, bottle it up, but Tiff could tell he was heartbroken inside. She had gotten pretty good at reading his expressions lately. The past few weeks, she had virtually been studying him; how he moved his arms when he talked when excited, the sound of his laugh, the way his eyes narrowed when he was annoyed. As soon as she spotted him in a classroom or on the street, she had to fight to keep her attention on anything else.

Of course, Tiff hadn't actually gathered the courage to speak to him. In the past she had treated him with the same rudeness she gave everyone else... it's what everyone expected from her, after all. She was the school's tomboy punk chick. Even the jocks were afraid of Tiff, because everyone knew Tiff Crust fought dirty. That's what kept Tiff useful to Brit, and why Brit kept Tiff in the clique of the school's popular girls. Without that status, Tiff didn't have much... which is why she fought tooth and nail to protect her title as undisputed school bad-ass. And it was exactly that status that would be ruined if anyone knew Tiff had feelings for Brad. Romantic feelings. So Tiff couldn't openly flirt with her crush, or even be at all nice to him. But she could watch him, whether from across the cafeteria, in the middle of a school lesson, or from behind the cover of a bush, like now.

Brad was heading past the school, off to somewhere secluded. Tiff continued to trail him, and before long she was able to figure out where Brad was going: the drive-in movie theater. Late afternoon as it was, there was no one around, leaving the whole lot deserted for Brad to have some quiet introspection. Tiff guessed that Brad and Jenny may have had a date or two here as well, lending some personal significance to the spot.

Brad slumped down against a convenient speaker-post, looking languidly off into the distance. Tiff wasn't quite sure what to do next, and spent a few minutes silently observing Brad. Finally, just as Tiff was about to turn and skulk away unnoticed, she heard a choked sob come from Brad's direction. Some instinct deep within Tiff fought it's way to the surface in that instant, temporarily suppressing the voices of fear and anxiety that told her to she was making a huge mistake. “Hey,” Tiff breathed, placing a gentle hand on Brad's shoulder for a moment before taking a seat next to him. Brad's expression was mixed; there were signs he had been upset, clearly, though Tiff didn't see any tears. He wasn't angry either, more confused than anything else. Tiff decided it would be best to tell him why she was there outright, before he had a chance to draw his own conclusion.

“I saw your breakup at Mezmer's. So I followed ya to make sure you was ok.” she stated evenly, avoiding eye contact with Brad. Brad crossed his arms over his chest, sucking in a lungful of air, bravely declaring “Well I'm fine. Why do you care anyway? You're not exactly the most compassionate person I've ever known.”

There was her rep at work. “Well there are some people I care about. Like my cousin Brit, for an example.” answered Tiff, hoping Brad would pick up on what she had just implied. Unfortunately, he picked up on something else instead. “Yeah, come to think of it, how come Brit isn't with you? You two are closer then most twins I know.” Brad was quickly growing more and more suspicious. Tiff couldn't blame him, as she had never given him any reason expect anything different from her. Brad stood up and took a step away from Tiff, pointing an accusing finger at her. “Wait, Brit was right in the middle of things when I broke up with Jenny... I'll bet this is all one of your evil schemes, isn't it?!”

Tiff jumped to her feet, hurriedly making a placating gesture with her hands. “No it isn't! Well I mean, it kinda is, but you've gotta let me explain!”

Brad huffed, certainly in no mood for crap like this. Not today. Brad strode off at quick pace, frowning deeply, heading for home. “Hey, wait! You're just gonna leave?” Tiff called, chasing after Brad. “Yup.” was his curt reply, keeping his gaze locked straight ahead to acknowledge Tiff as little as possible. Tiff, for her part, was right on Brad's heels, repeatedly attempting to explain herself but unable to slow Brad enough to get a full sentence out. “Will you just stand still for a minute?” she growled, growing frustrated. Grimacing with distaste, Tiff even added “ ...Please?”, a true rarity for her.

“I'm not interested Tiff!” snapped Brad, casually flipping Tiff the middle finger. Tiff felt her blood boil... nobody flipped her off and got away with it! With a cry of anger, Tiff launched herself at Brad's midsection, expertly tackling him to the dusty ground. Brad rolled over onto his back, pushing Tiff to the side, though she still maintained her grip around his waist. Brad pushed against her chest as hard as he could, but relented when it suddenly dawned on him that he was probably copping a feel of her breasts without realizing it. “Get offa me you bitch!” yelled Brad, kicking her loose with a hard push from both legs that left her sprawled out on the ground. Brad turned over onto his hands and knees, but before rising his adversary had already leaped onto his back. Grabbing his wrists to pull his strength out from under him, Brad was flipped over his back by Tiff, but this time she secured him in place by holding his hands down at his groin, then seating herself heavily on top of them. Brad gnashed his teeth at her in raw frustration, but Tiff's angry scowl didn't flinch. “I said please, ya jerk. I was tryin' to be friendly!”

Brad was understandably unbelieving. “Yeah right!” he angrily spat, “why would the meanest girl in school suddenly want to be nice to me?”

“'Cause I like you, ok?!” Tiff practically screamed back at him, then suddenly pressed her lips forcefully against his, silence instantly replacing their escalating argument. A moment was lost in time, Brad's mind reeling while Tiff just enjoyed the kiss, and the sensation of having her body pressed so closely against his. Finally she pulled back, taking a breath, suddenly afraid of what would happen next. There was no taking back what had just happened... what would Brad's reaction be?

Brad looked up at her, his face still registering shock. All his previous perceptions of Tiff had just been shattered, so he took a moment to look at her completely fresh. Shining black hair curved down to frame her face, stopping halfway down a slender neck, and was held back to show off a trio of piercings in each ear. Nice bright eyes with exceptional lashes, highlighted with a touch of mascara were the first thing he noticed about her face, which was actually not bad to look at when she was smiling. Brad could see Tiff was watching him as well, so deigned not to look down at the size of her chest. Though, since Tiff's breasts were pressing against his torso at the moment, Brad felt they must certainly be big enough. Cautiously, Brad allowed himself to smile, aware that a blush was coming to his cheeks at the same time.

Sensing he wouldn't try to run away again, Tiff reluctantly pulled herself off of Brad. “Sorry...” she mumbled, embarrassed by her actions. Brad sat up, leaving less personal space between them then usual. “I... didn't mind... the kiss, I mean.” he offered. Tiff and he caught each other's gaze, and something unspoken seemed to pass between them. Tiff thought her heart was about to thump its way right through her ribs when Brad thankfully changed the topic, instantly defusing some of the building sexual tension. “So, what was it you were trying to tell me before? Something about Brit?”

Tiff frowned “Ya. You asked if Brit bein' at the breakup was planned, and it was.” Brad looked unamused, so Tiff quickly continued. “Brit had some big plan about how she was gonna get Jenny to drop out of school. It mostly revolved around getting you to break up with her, which I guess worked out like she wanted. I was there in case Silver Shell showed up at Mezmer's too. A while back I, ahh, got hold of his remote control whatsit.” Tiff purposely left that part vague, not eager to divulge the details of how she had stolen the remote after peeping on Brad and Jenny's lovemaking. Something told Tiff that any headway she had made with Brad just now would probably be ruined by that secret getting out. “But Shell didn't show, so I was just supposed to wait and hide while Brit handled everything else. When I saw you heading off I decided to follow, cause...”

“ ...Because you were worried about me.” Brad finished for her, remembering from earlier. Tiff's situation oddly reminded him of Jenny and himself, in some strange parallel. Jenny had often kept Brad in the back lines, ignoring the contribution he could make to her crime-fighting for the sake of his “safety”. Brad scoffed at the thought, sneering at the memory of Jenny, whom was far from his favorite person right now. Tiff's concern for his welfare was starting to see pretty refreshing to Brad.

“So why does Brit want Jenny to drop out of school so bad?” asked Brad, leaning back on his hands. “She's explain'd it to me before, but I'm not sure if I really get it. Sumthin' about how Jenny always manages to outperform her.” Tiff looked upwards as she searched her memory, and counted off the points on her fingers as she recounted Brit's explanation as best as she was able. “Brit says that if Jenny graduates and gets a job and stuff, then she might get a husband. An if that happens, then there might be more robot people like her made, then people start losing their jobs to robots, an their boyfriends to robot girls, and before you know it there ain't nobody havin kids the way they's supposed to cause their girlfriend is metal. And if they can't have a regular baby, then they might as well get themselves a robot baby, right? And the robot kids'd get better grades and be better behaved then regular kids, so soon everybody would get them. And the people wouldn't even realize, but they'll end up making the human race go eck-stinct jus' cause they didn't know any better.”

Brad thought about this, following Brit's logic to some extent. So her plan was to prevent Jenny from finishing high school, thus preventing her further development and halting this “takeover” before it could happen. “And what about you Tiff? If you're telling me this, you've got to know that I'll tell Jenny eventually, and Brit's plan won't work.”

Tiff sighed, evidently still feeling remorse for going behind Brit's back as she had. “I dunno. I mean, I liked teasing Jenny cause she was weird lookin, and I held a grudge after she got Brit and me arrested that one time, but I don't hate her like Brit does.”

“So I guess now you can go get back tahgether with Jenny.” said Tiff, after some time had passed in silence. Brad shook his head. “Nah... I meant what I said. Me and Jenny are through. Brit may have caused the fight, but she isn't the reason Jenny is pregnant.” Brad caught a hopeful look cross Tiff's features. “I suppose we can still be friends, of course. We'll see on that one. I don't much feel like talking to her right now, anyhow.” He turned his eyes down to his feet, feeling rather crummy. He was too much of a male to seek a shoulder to cry on, but he'd really love a distraction to take his mind off this right now.

“So what do ya feel like doin'?” asked Tiff. Her eyelashes fluttered shyly, and her legs were drawn up against her chest defensively. This was the first time Tiff had ever seemed the least bit vulnerable to Brad, and he found it made her seem much more feminine then she usually was. In fact, with the fading light of the sunset hitting her shy smile from one side, her eyes attentively watching every gesture he made, and just a brief glimpse of panties peeking out from under her skirt, Brad found Tiff quite fetching. “Tiff, you feel like catching a movie?”

*********************************************************************************************

Brad walked Tiff back to her house so she could change out of her dust covered clothes and into something date-worthy, the two discussing their movie preferences the whole way there. It turned out that they had a lot in common; they both liked comedies for the gross-out jokes, horror movies for the gore (the cheesier the better), and sci-fi for the special effects. But the favorite genre of both Brad and Tiff was action/adventure films, with Tiff's preference being for violent cop movies while Brad preferred a slightly more stylish super-spy movie. They settled on seeing the latest “Shaft” sequel, since it added an element of campiness, just before they arrived at the front door of the Crust manor. Tiff planted a quick peck on Brad's cheek before going inside, Brad then headed for his place to borrow his dad's car.

Tiff went up to her room, practically floating on air. Today could not possibly have turned out better. She hadn't planned it, but somehow she was about to go out on a date with Brad Carbunkle. Somehow she didn't give a crap about what anyone at school thought of her anymore. Tiff was just about ready to burst into song when she got to her bedroom and flipped on the light.

“Brit!” shrieked Tiff, startled to see her cousin standing in the middle of the room, who had apparently been waiting in the dark for Tiff to arrive for who knows how long. Brit was wearing her an expensive robe she owned, something like a housecoat but with a hood that was currently pulled up over Brit's head. “Where were you Tiffany?” growled Brit, advancing on Tiff. Tiff edged away from Brit, fearful of the vicious expression on Brit's face. “Brit, what happened to you? Are you alright?” she asked, her voice shaking. Brit flung open her robe, letting it fall to the ground. Underneath Brit wasn't wearing a single scrap of clothing, but more startling was the complete lack of hair. Brit had been expertly shaved, leaving her head smooth and round. “Do I look alright to you?!” Brit shrieked. “I had to walk home from Mezmer's like this!”

Tiff was at a loss for words. Obviously the plan had taken a sharp turn for the worse after she had left to chase after Brad. “Brit, what did Jenny do to you?” asked Tiff sympathetically, pulling the robe up over Brit's body and tying it shut. Brit fell into Tiff's arms and started sobbing out the story, editing out some of her meaner insults and embellishing XJ9's enjoyment of Brit's suffering. “And then,” sob “she pulled out a razor and shaved off all my hair,” sob “right in front of everyone!” sob “I've never been so humiliated before.” Tiff lead her crying cousin over to the bed and sat down with her, still rubbing Brit's back reassuringly. “I can kinda get why Jenny shaved your head, but why... why'd she shave your bush?” Tiff asked incredulously. Brit sniffled back her tears, shrugging “No, I did that... sense of symmetry, you know.”

After some time and a lot of soothing words Brit seemed to be calming down, though she was still clutching Tiff rather tightly. “Don't worry cuz, hair grows back... eventually.” she cooed softly, gently removing herself from Brit's arms “And we can think up some kinda revenge plan... later.” At last she pulled away and stood up, heading over to the closet to pick out an outfit. “Later?” Brit asked, curling herself up into the blankets on the bed. “Why later?”

“Well, I'm... going out tonight.” Tiff answered, “A boy asked me out on a date.” Tiff held a pair of shorts up to compare it with a possible top she was considering. Brit seemed to be muttering something the entire time, though Tiff couldn't make out what it was from across the room. By the time Tiff had picked out an outfit (black pants that rode low on her hips, magenta baby-T that showed off her midriff, and a matching kerchief in her hair) Brit was huddled inside the bedspread and intently watching Tiff as she dressed, babbling to herself. Although Tiff could only see Brit's nose and eyes peering out from under the covers, Brit's robe laying on the ground told her that Brit had stripped herself naked again. “What the hell happened to you cuz?” Tiff asked aloud, though Brit didn't seem to hear it.

A honk from the driveway announced Brad's arrival. As soon as Tiff's hand touched the doorknob Brit shrieked. “You're leaving me?!” she yelped, panic in her voice. “Yeah, I'm going on a date tonight. I told you that already, r'member?” Brit only stared desperately up at Tiff. “Look, I promise I'll come back before late ok? We'll stay up and watch one a' your girly-girl movies, an' braid each othe...euhh we'll paint each other's nails, ok? I promise.” This seemed to ease Brit down enough, and Tiff grabbed her purse and headed out to her date.

******************************************************************************************

A short time later Tiff and Brad were parked in the drive in theater, attending “Shaft 8: Shaft goes Hollywood”. The movie was exactly the sort of kitschy junk that both of them loved, but neither was paying it much attention. Twenty minutes into the movie the two had gone from holding hands to cuddling to playfully necking to full on making out. Originally Brad had intended this date merely as a distraction from his current dating woes, but somewhere between being on the rebound and being a hormone infused teenage male Brad had really gotten into this! At this point the film was half over, and Brad and Tiff had already fogged up the car's windows.

Now in the back seat, Brad had his arms around Tiff's body, gently stroking her back through her top, while Tiff meanwhile was almost hanging from around Brad's neck. Their eyes closed, both were focused entirely on the play of their tongues inside each other's mouth, and the erotic thrill they received from the simple tender contact. After dating Jenny for close to two months, the touch of real human flesh seemed almost overwhelming to Brad. The surreal contact of her tongue and saliva inside his mouth, the warmth of her body melding with his own, and more then anything the scent of a real red-blooded girl was driving Brad wild. He would make sure she was completely willing before trying any “moves” on her, but damn if he didn't want to just yank her pants off and fuck her silly. Tiff was similarly impressed; she could hardly even remember kissing a boy that didn't taste like beer or weed. And Brad was being such a gentleman about it... they must've been kissing for close to an hour, and he hadn't so much as groped her breasts yet. The waiting was making her crave it even more. Tiff's nipples were rock hard inside her bra, and they ached to be touched so much she was grinding her chest against Brad's, stroking the stiff nubbins back and forth across his pecs. When Brad's hand actually slid down her back and touched the bare skin just above her waist Tiff shivered.

“Tiff, I never realized we were so... compatible! It's like we have some sort of animal attraction between us, like I've never felt before.”

Tiff grinned, stroking her fingers along Brad's chin. “Well no wonder...” she purred “it'd be tough to feel the call of the wild over a tin-can like Jenny.” Almost as soon as she had said it, Tiff regretted insulting Jenny. It was just habit really. That wound was still really fresh though, and now Brad would get all defensive about her, and the date would be ruined... But surprisingly, Brad didn't react at all. “That makes a lot of sense actually.” he said, staring off into the distance for a moment. Tiff carefully chose her words. “You didn't feel the same heat with your old girlfriends?”

“Ahhh... I never really was all that lucky with girls before Jenny.” Brad said reluctantly. “Was Jenny your first?” asked Tiff, sympathetically stroking Brad's chest with her palm. Brad shook his head 'no', “I had lost my virginity the summer before. But that was a pretty damn strange situation too.” Tiff, curious, prodded him to continue. “It happened last summer, the weekend before I took off to my job at the summer camp. School had finished the previous week, and I had stayed out late at the summer carnival, determined to have as much vacation as possible before I had to start working. Jenny and Tuck had long since headed home, so it was close to midnight when I ran afoul of Leta and her space bikers...”

*********************************************************************************

Brad ran as fast as his legs would carry him, sweat building up from the exertion, and the summer heat wasn't helping any. Why did Jenny have to have such an early curfew? Didn't her mother realize that thugs like Leta and her gang could run amok in Tremorton as soon as Jenny powered down for the night?

Sparing a quick glance over his shoulder, Brad saw the fish-like alien girls closing in on him. Sludge, Olga, and Tammy if he remembered correctly. Their leader Leta, and her boyfriend/pet Lenny had thankfully decided not to participate in harassing him, though it probably didn't change matters much for him in the long run. Rounding a corner, Brad ducked into a dark alley. Normally not the smartest thing he could've done, but he had hoped that perhaps by hiding in the shadows the space bikers might pass him by. No such luck though, it seemed these girls had sharper senses then he gave them credit for.

Backing up defensively against the far wall, Brad gulped hard. Looks like he was out of options. The bikers knew it too; they blocked off the end of the alley and advanced slowly on Brad, laughing and taunting him, savoring the panicked look on his face.

“Hey, that's the robo-twit's cute friend!” said Tammy, the busty alien wearing a helmet that came too far down and obscured her eyes. “Let's have some fun with him first!” The other two grinned, baring their wickedly sharp teeth, obviously liking the idea. Brad grew increasingly nervous as they closed in, and started pawing and tearing at his clothing. He valiantly tried to push their grasping hands away, but as soon as he dealt with one of them another would sneak around and pinch his ass, or cup his groin, or steal away an article of clothing. And all the while they kept talking to each other, deliberately being as vulgar as possible to scare him even more.

“Nice butt! Like a couple a christmas hams clenched together.”
“Ha! Olga bet he taste like ham too!”
“Ohhh, check out the kielbasa this little piggy's got!”
“Mmm, I think I'm hungry for some sausage tonight, eh Tammy?”
“Definitely Sludge! He'd better hope I don't bite it off and swallow it whole! Hahaha!”
“Enough foreplay! My cunt's itchin' for a lickin', so let's get biz-ay!”
“No! Olga is first to have clitty sucked on!”
“Psshht! Yeah right Olga, your nasty pussy would probably suck his whole head in!
“You mean that not supposed to happen...?”
“Hahahahahahaha!”

The three girls all cackled together, laughing at the feeble way Brad tried to maintain his dignity by holding his pants up where their claws had torn apart the zipper and clasp, his other hand over a nipple that had been exposed when his t-shirt was torn. Suddenly, their laughter was silenced by a sharp female voice calling out from above. “Back away from him now, and I might not break any bones.” The intruder challenged. The three alien bikers staggered backwards as a trim teenage girl leaped down from a fire escape ledge two floors up, landing soundlessly between them and Brad. It took the bikers only a couple of seconds to overcome their surprise and turn it to anger instead. Showing no fear in the face of these three brutes, the newcomer assumed a defensive martial arts stance and defiantly whispered “Bring it!”

Now standing in the dim light filtering into the alley, Brad recognized his rescuer. It was Jenny's friend Misty, originally of the Teen Team, now operating independently in Tremorton. Brad hadn't seen her since she'd been expelled from high school for the brutal prank war she'd caused with the Crust cousins. As the bikers charged forward, Misty sprung into the air, catching Sludge under the chin with a swift kick. As soon as she landed Misty dropped low to avoid a wallop from Olga, while simultaneously sweeping out a leg to trip Tammy over onto her plump little ass.

With only Olga still standing, the fight didn't seem to be going well for Leta's gang. Still, Olga refused to run from a fight, and with a burst of speed managed to catch Misty in one of her huge fists. Misty croaked in pain, the wind knocked out of her and momentarily at the mercy of the overgrown fish woman. “Olga is not dyke, but is thinking Olga eat you anyway!” she announced, her toothy smile letting Misty know that she had not meant it in a sexual way. No longer able to stand by and do nothing, Brad sprinted forward and came to a stop just in front of Olga. With all the strength he could muster, Brad gave the she-beast a mighty kick to her box.

Dropping Misty to the ground, Olga double over in pain, both hands clutching her injured crotch. Misty quickly rose to her feet and seized Brad by the hand. “Come on, let's get out of here before they recover.” she said, lifting Brad into the air as her lower body transformed into mist. Brad caught a glimpse of the bikers limping back to the carnival (presumably to go find their leader) but soon lost sight of them as Misty and he rose higher and higher into the air.

A brief time later Misty descended onto a hilly clearing, placing Brad gently on the ground. Brad instantly recognized the place: this was part of the area known as “lover's lookout” where couples on dates would sometimes park for some uninterrupted alone time. Tonight it seemed everyone was attending the carnival for some fun though, the place was completely deserted. At the time Brad had assumed Misty just didn't know about the place. After all, she'd only been living on earth a couple of months at this point, there was a lot to learn. “I'll give you a lift home in a minute Brad, I just need to catch my breath a bit first.” Misty sighed. Brad looked over and saw her leaning against the trunk of a tree, the topmost button of her shirt undone to expose some of her chest to the night air, and giving Brad a good view of her cleavage at the same time. She fanned herself with one hand, joking “A fight like that just gets a gal a little worked up, you know?”

Misty looked Brad over, and now seemed to realize that his clothes had been all but ruined, torn apart by the biker girls' groping claws. “Hey, I almost forgot to ask; are you alright?” Misty said as she approached Brad, concern in her voice. “I thought I showed up before they got you, but did those girls actually ra...”

“No, I'm alright.” Brad interrupted, trying to preserve some measure of dignity. He had always thought Misty was a pretty attractive girl, during the brief time he had known her, and it was rather embarrassing
to be standing there in front of her with his underwear hanging out, ruining any measure of 'cool' he had managed to cultivate. Assured that he was unharmed, Misty tried to relax him a little with more humor. “What am I saying, an teen hottie like you, getting laid by a trio of girls is probably just like any other Saturday night, right?” Misty had obviously meant it in jest, to lift up Brad's spirits after the close call he just had. Misty's hand on his arm, her exposed cleavage, and her inherent sexiness had all left Brad fairly oblivious though, and he took the question at face value. “Actually,” he squeaked out “I haven't done 'it' with a girl yet.” “Oh!” was Misty's reply, slightly stunned from hearing such a personal secret shared so openly.

Maybe it was the spring air, maybe it was the excitement of the fight that had gotten her blood flowing, or maybe it was that Misty had always been a very direct girl who took what she wanted and didn't make excuses. All Brad knew was that after that moment, he detected a very noticeable change in her demeanor towards him. “You know Brad...” she purred, her fingers playing with the tattered remains of his shirt, eventually tracing a slow circle around his bare nipple when she located it “ ...I've always thought you were pretty cute. What if I were to offer to relieve you of your virginity?”

A fingertip was placed against his lips before he could respond. “Shhh. It's no big deal. Just one friend doing a favor for another. No strings attached.” Misty replaced her fingertip with a quick peck to Brad's lips, and pulled a step away to let him decide. There was little to debate really. By this point in Brad's life, he had been taught that sex was the most amazing experience in the universe and at the same time was utterly unattainable no matter what tactic he tried with the locals. Now this smoking hot girl was just going to give it up for him? Scratch that, to say Misty was hot was an understatement. Her hourglass figure, her punky purple hair, her enticing eyes that held the perfect hint of danger in the way they drank you in when she looked at you. Misty had perfect curves in all the right places and was delicately slender everywhere else. Plus, having sex with an alien babe was something of a prerequisite fantasy for anyone who had ever watched Star Trek. Would he allow her to make him a man? That question was answered before it was even asked.

“Yes!” Brad blurted, caught himself, then cleared his throat and answered “I mean... sure... whatever.” while affecting a casual posture.

Misty just rolled her eyes. “You can drop the suave act.” she said with a smirk “I'm already sufficiently impressed. Do me a favor and just be yourself, ok?” Brad looked a little nervous. “Then to tell the truth, I don't have much experience with girls...” he stated hesitantly. “No sweat, I'll teach you what to do.” she smiled, leaning into him and placing his hands around her waist. Next she angled her face up to his and gave Brad his first ever french kiss. She was clearly very practiced at this intimate art, and he felt himself grow instantly hard in what remained of his pants. Misty felt it too, when the bulge began poking against her hip. “Not wasting any time hunh? Well ok then, let's bring little Brad out to play...”

Misty ceased their kissing and crouched down in front of Brad, pulling apart what remained of his belt and zipper and lowering his pants to his ankles. Drawing it out, Misty grabbed the top of Brad's boxers and slowly lowered them, revealing inch after inch of erect young cock to her hungry eyes. Finally the head sprang free, causing Misty to gasp. “Wow, you Earth boys sure are hung, aren't you? Woah...” She gingerly held Brad's erection with both hands, giving it a few tentative strokes to get a feel for it. “I guess human anatomy is a little different then what I'm used to back home.” Misty explained, “Lemme see if I can even fit this in my mouth before I try to take it up my cootch...” With that Misty started kissing and licking every inch of Brad's dick, while he just stood back and watched, gripping the tree behind him for support. Brad had never thought he was all that big, rather average really, but he wasn't about to complain.

Misty took the head of his cock into her mouth, sucking it insistently. Brad even felt the tip of her tongue probe slightly into his urethra, seeking out more of his drooling precum. With one hand wrapped around the base of Brad's shaft and stroking him in time to the bobbing of her head, she used her free hand to pull Brad's boxers down to his ankles and eventually off altogether, leaving him naked from the waist down. She gently held his balls in her free hand, rolling them around on her palm and tickling the underside of his scrotum with her fingertips. “Cute!” she giggled, “I like this little male pouch thing you have here. Does this feel good?” Brad grunted an affirmative, his eyes closed with pleasure. Misty recognized the look on his face, and increased the pace of her handjob. “You feel like you're going to cum soon Brad?” she breathed, placing a wet kiss around his tip. “Yeah hunh... Sorry Misty, I tried to think about math and baseball and stuff, you know, the usual tricks that guys learn? But it just feels so...”

“No no,” Misty cut him off, “Don't be sorry. It's your first time remember? You just relax and let it come out...” She gave him one more good hard suck then backed away, locking eyes with him the entire time. Smiling seductively, Misty pulled open her top and flung it aside. Making sure he was watching, she then unhooked her lacy black bra and dropped that to the ground as well, but cupped her hands over her breasts before Brad saw much of them. “I hope you don't mind,” Misty said “but I get really hot from seeing a boy spray his cream, so do me a favor and cum on my tits instead of in my mouth, ok?” Misty started rubbing and stroking her breasts for Brad's viewing pleasure, and returned to sucking the end of Brad's throbbing cock. Barely five seconds had passed before Brad grunted out a warning that he was about to burst. “Alright!” grinned Misty eagerly, holding her chest up before Brad's crotch and rapidly beating him off. She encouraged him with some dirty talk, and yelped in surprise when the first spurt of sperm erupted from Brad's organ and splattered across her heaving chest. “Come on baby, give me a good hot squirt! I want to feel your cum all over my tits, come o—eek! Hahaha, ahh yesss, momma likes, momma likes!”

Brad huffed, momentarily out of breath. At his feet Misty was happily rubbing his fluids into the skin of her breasts, kneading them like they'd been doused in massage oil. Something seemed odd to him though... it took a minute before he realized it was because Misty's breasts had no nipples! A little further down, her stomach was completely smooth as well, without a trace of a belly button. Unable to decide if this should be considered 'kinky' or 'freaky', Brad eventually picked 'exotic', since it was impossible to see a girl as hot as Misty topless and call her freaky.

“You just gonna stare...” teased Misty, lifting her b-cup sized breasts towards Brad provocatively “or are you going to join me for round two?” Misty slid out of her baggy combat pants like a snake sloughing off a layer of skin, and arranged them on the ground with her other clothing into a little makeshift nest. When she was down to nothing more then a pair of bikini panties Misty playfully pulled Brad into a kneeling position beside her and quickly stripped his clothes off as well, adding them to the pile of clothes cushioning their nude bodies. “Now, how long will it be before you can get erect again?” Misty asked, gently toying with Brad's slick penis.

“Actually Misty, before we go any further, do you have a condom? I don't, but I know you're always supposed to use one or else you'll have a baby.” Brad twiddled his fingers together as he spoke, hoping that Misty came prepared. Instead, she laughed in his face. “Bradly, you're worried about making me pregnant? Hahaha! I'm from another planet doofus, do you realize how incompatible our genes would be? You'd have a better chance of knocking up a starfish!” Brad blushed, feeling foolish, and averted his eyes. A moment later Misty caught herself, ceasing her laughter. “Aww I'm sorry Brad, I forgot that you're new to this still... Here, why don't you take a minute to explore my body before we start? I know you've gotta be curious.” Tugging down her panties, Misty leaned backwards and slipped them off entirely before spreading her legs wide open, exposing herself utterly. She was right, Brad was very curious. He knelt forward, getting a closer look at the feminine secret between her thighs.

Much like a human girl, Misty had a patch of short purple hair immediately above her genitals, trimmed into a neat triangle. The slit below it was slightly different however, lacking the meaty “outer lips” human girls had, which left her thin inner lips directly exposed. Cautiously, Brad spread these open, finding glistening pink flesh inside. “Mmmmmrrrrr...” Misty purred affectionately, her cheeks growing flushed. Brad slowly traced the tip of his finger from the bottom of her crevice, up along the length of one moist lip, to the juncture at the top where his touch found a small nub of flesh. Misty shuddered when he touched it, and Brad backed off fearing that he had done something inappropriate. “Whoops, sorry, sorr-” he babbled as he retreated from her crotch, though Misty quickly set him straight. “Relax, I liked it. That little gal there is my clit, and it gets very sensitive when I'm turned on.”

“Ohhh.” Brad smiled. Misty grinned, spreading her pussy lips apart with one hand while beckoning Brad back to her with the other. “Why don't you come kiss and make up?” she teased, and Brad obediently followed her direction. The first timid kiss on Misty's erect clitoris produced another shiver up her spine. Encouraged, Brad repeated the action again and again, each time growing more confident. Soon enough he was licking and slurping the full length of Misty's slit, guided by her moans and sighs to the best way to stroke her now throbbing clitty and tongue-fuck her dripping opening.

A dozen or so minutes passed before Misty gently lifted his face from her soaked womanhood. “Huff huff... thank you Brad, but that'll be enough for now. (Moan) I haven't been eaten out like that in ages, but I don't want to cum until I've gotten a sample of what your pole can do in there.” Pushing Brad onto his back, Misty climbed onto him and straddled his hips. “Aren't I supposed to be the one on top?” asked Brad, confused. “Nahhh, not for you first time.” answered Misty, reaching between them and stroking Brad's cock to hardness with one hand. “You just lay back and let teacher do all the work tonight.” With that she placed the head of Brad's erection against her entrance and pushed her hips downward. Brad gasped, feeling his member suddenly engulfed inside Misty's warm, soft flesh. Misty pulled back a little, then pushed downward, taking more of his length into her sex with each stroke. Finally she worked the last inch of his maleness inside, and Brad let out a deep breath of air as Misty pressed her torso against his.

Misty captured his lips in a brief kiss, “There, your cherry is officially popped. Feel nice?” Brad didn't think 'nice' did justice to what she was making him feel. “Misty, I think I love you.” stated Brad plainly, which made Misty giggle at his naivety. “You don't mean that. It is sweet of you to say though.” Shifting her hips, Misty began a slow, steady rhythm of pumping up and down the length of Brad's shaft, producing a loud pleasured moan from him. Brad's eyes screwed shut, his hips thrusting up to meet hers at every opportunity. Misty was hard pressed to maintain control of her own body, to resist the urge to pump as fast and as hard as she could, and fuck the daylights out of this poor boy until she creamed her pussy all over him. But no, she didn't want to overwhelm him during his first time... especially if she ever wanted to come back for more someday. He's so eager to please, Misty thought to herself, he'll make great boyfriend for some local girl. Even now, his body wracked with pleasure, Brad's hands roamed over Misty's body stroking her skin, massaging her breasts, and squeezing her ass cheeks. All in an attempt to increase her pleasure in whatever way he could. And it was working too... her nether lips tingled with a familiar anticipation, and deep inside her Misty could feel a heat building. Yes, Misty decided, this boy deserved a little something special.

“Hey Brad...” Misty whispered into Brad's ear, “I'm going to give you a treat that I save for boys I really like.” Sitting up on him, Misty stopped her motions and closed her eyes in concentration. Fully embedded inside her, she could feel Brad's proud erection twitching with excitement, probably ready to spray again any minute. Brad remained silent, watching her with curiosity evident on his face. “In my years of martial art training, I learned to control all the muscles of my body.” Misty explained, “This trick is something I picked up from some of the other girls at the dojo I trained at. For when they wanted to give their boyfriends a really tight fuck.”

Misty stroked her hands against her abdomen in small circles, her breathing taking on a controlled rhythm. Brad watched, amazed as Misty concentrated intensely, her expression somewhere between meditation and passing gas. Then, deep inside her pussy Brad felt something nip at the head of his cock. “Hyuunnngggg...” Misty groaned. Brad gasped. “W-what the hell is that?” he yelped. Whatever it was nipped at his cock again, then actually clamped down onto his knob, gradually sucking it deeper in. The pressure was intense, but soon enough the muscular “mouth” inside Misty's vagina slipped down past the crown of Brad's cock, and Misty relaxed her concentration. “Ahhhh, much better.” she breathed, “You like it Brad?”

Without moving her body at all, Brad felt the ring of muscle slide down the length of his cockshaft until it had nearly reached the base where Misty's pussy lips stretched around his girth. Misty grinned proudly, as the inner mouth bobbed up and down Brad's length, as though he was getting the most amazingly intense blowjob imaginable. “Oh my God!” Brad yelled out. Misty folded her arms over her chest, smugly answering her own question “He likes it.”
“Congratulations Brad,” Misty purred, leaning down to kiss and lick at Brad's throat. “You are now officially fucking my uterus. Or being fucked by it, whatever.” The feeling for Brad was indescribable. Now, as Misty pumped herself up and down over Brad's length, the tightness of her cunt lips was joined by the pleasure provided by her even tighter cervix, each stroking his shaft with a slightly different tempo. His throbbing cockhead never left the silky heat of Misty's womb however, which seemed to alternately suck on his organ and caress it's surface with feather-lite touches of it's inner surface. Despite her experience and self control, even Misty was succumbing to the intense sensations of their coupling. “Unh, unnngggmmmm oh yes, YES, fuck yes! Push it all the way in stud! Goddddds your body was made for this, I swear!”

Sadly, the experience was all too brief. Brad had been close to the edge ever since he'd first slipped inside her, but all this was far to much for his inexperienced body to handle. “Ohh, Misty, I- I can't, I'm gonna, unhhhh yeaaahhh, yeaahhh!” he groaned, his pleasure echoing through the trees out into the night. Misty knew better then to try to forestall his orgasm any longer, and tried to intensify it instead. She stopped riding him momentarily, and focused her efforts on pumping his cock with her prehensile cervix, physically pulling the semen from him. “Do it baby, cum for me! Spray your hot sticky cum into my baby-maker!” she encouraged in a hoarse whisper. Brad tensed up under her, and she felt the first gush of his cum burst forth into her womb. She continued milking him throughout his orgasm, listening to Brad's every grunt and moan, all with a pleased smile.

Finally the last of his fluids had been drained from him. Brad had never experienced an orgasm like that in his life... he had cum harder, and longer, then he even thought was possible. Maybe it was just his imagination, but as he looked up at Misty still perched on his hips casually stroking her belly, it looked as though there was even a visible bulge where her uterus must be. “Have a good one?” Misty panted, her voice strained and out of breath. “Oh yeah.” Brad agreed, grinning contentedly. “Good, cause I'm next!” declared Misty, then proceeded to ride Brad with redoubled ferocity. Brad could tell from the flush in her face and across her chest that she was clearly on the brink. After the gift she had just given him, he was sure he could force his member to remain rigid for at least a little while longer, at least until she had her climax. “Uhhh, uhhh, ohhhhhhh! Oh yeah!” she squeeked, her voice climbing an octave higher. Her right hand found her swollen clitoris, and furiously masturbated the obscenely protruding bud. “Ghh! Ahhh, here is commmmessss!” Misty croaked out, then let out a fantastic scream of pure pleasure. Brad felt his wilting member gripped tight in Misty's vaginal muscles, followed by a tremor that flowed through her body. A warm rush of liquid gushed out around his trapped penis, through Misty's convulsing cervix and out from her vagina to flow onto Brad's entire pubic region. Watching in fascination, he could see Misty had soaked him in some strange bluish jelly that had the consistency of thick honey.

Misty's chest heaved for a full minute as she caught her breath. Brad nuzzled his face against hers, and the lovers shared a deep french kiss in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Sighing, Misty pulled herself off of Brad, his limp penis falling out of her as she did. “Ohhumm, thanks Brad. I think I'll end up owing you for that one.” Misty commented casually as she gathered up her clothing, using Brad's tattered T-shirt to mop up her dripping snatch. Brad, meanwhile, more more curious about the blob of blue slime Misty had left all over his cock and balls. He didn't remember anything like this being mentioned in health class, so presumably this was another feature of her alien biology. Brad scooped some up onto his fingers, and after sniffing it experimentally, popped them into his mouth. Interestingly, the goo had a sort of citrus tang to it, a little similar to key lime pie, if someone had decided to add human sweat to the recipe. Rather pleasant really, other then the little sand-like granules suspended in it that felt rough against his tongue and would get caught in his teeth. Not seeing any harm in it, Brad swallowed down what was in his mouth and gathered another blob onto his fingertip. “Hey Misty, what is this gunk?” he asked out loud before sucking in the second sample.

“Those are my eggs.” She calmly replied, not even pausing from putting her bra back on. Brad nearly choked. Seeing the horrified expression on his face, Misty laughed and explained, “Oh don't get all freaked out. It's not any different from a girl swallowing a guy's sperm, right?” She patted herself on the belly and smiled at Brad, “Which, by the way, you're probably eating too.”

*******************************************************************************************

“After that we got dressed, and she gave me a lift the rest of the way home. She came to my house the next night for another “date”, but she didn't do the trick with her cervix again, or her “ovipositor” as she called it. The next day I went off to summer camp for the next 3 months, which is where most people assumed I lost my virginity, like a lot of the other guys my age. Aside from those two times with Misty, the only other girl I've ever had sex with was Jenny.” Brad chuckled a little. “Come to think of it, I guess you're actually my first human date.”

Brad's story had physically affected Tiff quite strongly. Though her thighs were clamped tightly together, a faint musk was detectable in the air which clearly originated from her damp pussy. If Brad had asked her for sex right then, she was sure she would have said yes. She was just about to suggest as much, when the two teens were interrupted by a noise at the windshield. “Excuse me!” said a theater attendant, tapping the glass with his knuckle, “The movie has been over for half an hour! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!”

Brad of course gave her a lift home, pulling into the driveway with just enough time to get home before completely shattering his curfew. Tiff lead him up to the front stoop of her house for one last kiss goodnight, which ended up lasting a full three minutes. “You're pretty fun on a date, you know.” she said with a mild blush. Taking the bait as she had hoped, Brad responded with “We can go out again if you want...”

Tiff smiled. “How about Halloween? Don Prima's throwing his usual party, and I always have a “+1” on my invite. If you ain't doing nothing, we could go to that...”

Brad perked up, “Don Prima's party? Those are supposed to be the swankiest, most exclusive parties in Tremorton! I've only heard stories about the sort of stuff that goes down at his parties.” Tiff took this as a yes. “Just make sure you've got a costume ready, ok? The best costume gets a prize.”

Brad agreed wholeheartedly, and after another quick peck headed back to his car and home. Tiff crept into her house and up to her shared bedroom, relying on many months of practice to avoid waking her sleeping aunt and uncle. She assumed she was home free when she slipped into her darkened bedroom. Tiff had completely forgotten about the promise she had made earlier to her cousin Brit. That is, until she bumped directly into Brit, looming silently in the darkness for who knows how long.

“You broke your promise, Tiffany.” Brit declared coldly. Tiff feared she was about to be slapped, or worse. It wasn't unheard of... Brit was the only person who could ever get away with hitting Tiff, and she wasn't really capable of leaving any noticeable mark, so Tiff didn't try to stop her. When Brit collapsed at Tiff's feet instead, sobbing and clutching Tiff's legs, was when Tiff realized something was really wrong.
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My Life as a Teenaged Von Neumann Device