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Enter the Naked Mole Rat	By : kwh Category: Kim Possible > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 18153 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 14
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- 16
Ron heard the twang of the bow string, but also felt the approaching arrow at a visceral level. Thus it was that he found himself four feet off the ground, mid-way through a Wooden Monkey Spinning Heel of Teak kick that was so exquisitely timed that it cleaved the approaching arrow into two in flight, before something struck him... which was, amazingly, that the arrow hadn't struck him at all! As he landed on one toe in a perfect Tall Monkey Balances on Tip of Bamboo Cane stance, he yelled "Hey! I've still got it!!!".
Indeed he did still have it. For about 6 hours. And then the mystical monkey power started to gently fade away. At first, he noticed that still had it but that he had to pay a little attention or it started to wander off somewhere on it own. But gradually over the next few hours he had to concentrate harder and harder on what he was trying to do lest it let him down, and he felt that it was soaking away like water into the sands of time until sometime after 12 hours or so had passed, it was as elusive and frustratingly, maddeningly intermittent and diffuse as it had ever been. All the more maddening, in fact, because now he knew what Mystical Monkey Power should feel like!
But on the upside, Ron did get his hearty beakfast, and he did also find that the disturbing visions or hallucinations had stopped the moment he had taken off the Cuff of Sosumiha. And then he spent the rest of the day demonstrating his incredible mastery of Tai Sheng Pek Kwar to the students of the school, until the last flickering embers of his awesome power finally blinked out that evening, unfortunately in the middle of a high-speed, high-risk demonstration of Wooden Monkey Jo Staff forms...
Ron was very hopeful that the egg-shaped bump on his head would subside overnight.
He was just about to retire to his tatame mat for a well earned snooze when Sensei sent for him.
He found the rotund grand-master in his pagoda, where he was sitting with the Yamanouchi librarian and a couple of his assistant archivists, surrounded by huge piles of ancient and dusty silk scrolls. Ron wondered what they might reveal about the Cuff of Sosumiha. When he had shucked it off, Ron had been certain that he wanted nothing more to do with its accursed hallucinations, but after a few hours, and more significantly with the clear memory of the mainline thrill of full bodied mystical monkey power coursing through his own body fresh in his mind, Ron was hoping that he would be told that he could take another hit of that bong, to coin a phrase, without losing his mind or worse. He wasn't to be left waiting for an answer.
"Stoppable-san!", Sensei greeted him. "I have good news. You have nothing to fear from the cuff of Sosumiha. You are not the first to experience these visions, and we are relieved to tell you that no harm came to the previous mystical monkey master who had the same experience. Well.... not from the visions, at least..."!
Ron's initial joy was supplanted by suspicion, but Sensei, with occasional interjections and corrections from the librarian, explained that every single one of the original ancient mystical monkey masters had spent a full hour meditating in between the four magic monkey idols to absorb mystical monkey power, as part of the initiation ritual. By contrast, Ron had managed only a few seconds of exposure before the idols were destroyed. Rufus of course had spent a similar time absorbing the magic, but in much the same way as a 32lb Turkey takes longer to cook than an 8lb bird, what had lightly magically toasted Ron had burnt Rufus to a metaphorical mystical crisp.
Of course, this scant exposure explained the intermittent nature of Ron's own inner mystical monkey, and no Monkey Master had ever been as 'underdone' in the entire history of mystical monkey power, but there was once one of the ancient monkey masters, Master Kwon, who had made a regular practice of meditating and fasting almost to the point of death.
And then one day, Kwon had donned the cuff of Sosumiha after a particularly gruelling period of devotion. With his own inner mystical monkey severely weakened by his debilitated physical state, he was stricken by what he knew to be memories. He knew they were memories because Kwon had fought in some of the battles he was remembering as one of the guardians of Sosumiha, but he knew that they were not his memories, because he had been in a different part of the battlefield on each occasion and had seen the same events from a completely different point of view. At one point he even saw himself, as he fought alongside Master Wei, who had been wearing the Cuff of Sosumiha at the time. He realised that he was experiencing the memories of the Cuff itself. Seeking the guidance of the Shaman of Sosumiha, he learned that the Cuff of Sosumiha was imbued with the purest essence of the mystical energy of Sun Wukong himself. Effectively it had its own mystical inner monkey spirit, that melded seamlessly with the inner mystical monkey of the wearer to magically generate and maintain the physical form of Toshimiru. Normally the dominant mystical monkey by far was always the inner mystical monkey of the wearer, but in the case of a barely alive Master Kwon, and apparently now of the flickering mystical inner monkey of the Ronmeister, the inner monkey spirit of the cuff of Sosumiha had the upper hand, and its memories became the memories of the wearer.
Unfortunately, Master Kwon became obsessed with these new memories and began working with a scribe to transcribe them all to a detailed written history, a very novel idea for its time. This narrative was carefully crafted so as not to divulge the secret of the Cuff of Sosumiha to any reader who might not already know of it, while telling the story of the heroic battles of the Guardians. It had been passed down through the generations at Yamanouchi, and comprised one of the very oldest complete documents known to have existed, let alone still in existence, anywhere in Japan. It was written in 'Jo-dai Nihongo', a primitive form of old Japanese, on the finest silk, but the fact that the scrolls could still be read today, almost two millenia later, was almost miraculous.
Master Kwon starved himself to the point of death more and more often in his zeal to explore and to write the legend of the Guardians of Sosumiha, giving his body less and less time to properly recover between meditation sessions. Eventually it caught up with him. During his very last post-meditation session wearing the Cuff of Sosumiha, he had told the scribe that he had just realised that he could remember things that far pre-dated the forging of the Cuff of Sosumiha, disjointed episodes from the mists of pre-history. He told the scribe that he was convinced that they were memories of Sun Wu Kong, the Monkey King himself. The scribe was obviously pretty sceptical about this - he added a footnote on that particular scroll to the effect that Master Kwon was rambling and that he thought he was probably hallucinating at that point but Master Kwong was so excited by these new 'memories' that he began a new fast a scant two days after his final session. The suspicion that his final recorded 'memories' were actually the hallucinations of a dying man was hardly allayed when, a week into this new round of meditation, he was found to have died in his sleep. According to the then Shaman of Sosumiha, as faithfully recorded by the Scribe, Master Kwon had suffered what was best interpreted with the benefit of modern understanding of human physiology, as a massive heart attack in his sleep, brought on by acute starvation.
With the consensus view around the table that the 'visions' generated by Ron's use of the Cuff of Sosumiha were entirely harmless, Ron was quite looking forward to wearing it again. But, after first thanking the librarian and his staff for their assistance, Sensei bade Ron walk with him.
They headed back to the small, flagstone island in the centre of the calm oasis of Sensei's formal garden. Much of the evidence of his earlier meeting with Sensei had been cleared away, although Ron did notice a couple of tiny strips of blue denim and a few wooden splinters that had escaped the best efforts of the initiates tasked with maintaining the serene beauty of the formal garden.
Sensei once again guided Ron to the stone benches they had sat at that morning. Once they were seated comfortably, or as comfortably as it is possible to be seated on stone benches, Sensei spoke. "Stoppable-san, re-discovering the Cuff of Sosumiha is indeed most propitious! We have something... very significant... to ask of you.". With no fanfare, he produced an ornate gold-trimmed envelope from under his flowing robe and handed it to Ron, who took it hesitantly. He opened it slowly and read the contents with some little confusion...
"You want me... to enter a martial arts tournament, Sensei?", Ron asked, his voice betraying his surprise.
"Yes, Stoppable-san. Victory in this tournament will reflect great honour on Yamanouchi School. But that is not the only reason we wish to accept this invitation."
"No, Sensei?" asked Ron, sounding even more confused.
"Indeed, Stoppable-san. This tournament is organised by Master Lo Pin through the auspices of his Dragon Fist Academy. But Lo Pin has also a darker side. He has long been a leading underworld figure. Lo Pin, continuing the legacy of his father, has been responsible for almost unchecked piracy and extortion in the South China sea for many decades. His island fortress, where his academy is also based, is seemingly beyond the reach of any law. He has brought great shame to those of us who believe that the way of the warrior should be a force for good and not evil. For this reason, Yamanouchi school alumni association has sought to keep a very close eye on Master Lo Pin and Dragon Fist Academy. But.. we have not been as successful as we had hoped, Stoppable-San..."
Sensei went on to explain that through their network of contacts, Yamanouchi knew with reasonable certainty that Lo-Pin was to say the least no friend of any of the Chinese or Hong-Kong Triads, of the Japanese Yakuza or of any other underworld organisation. The Alumni Association had also reported that in very recent years Lo-Pin had diversified into legitimate businesses throughout the region, adding to his wealth and power. They had also learned, from alumni sources in the insurance industry and in law enforcement, that there has been an unexplained change in the pattern and frequency of Lo Pin's piracy in the last couple of years, the significance of which, if any, was still not understood.
"Stoppable San, we have already placed two students undercover with the Dragon Fist Academy in an attempt to find out more. The first disappeared without a trace. The second we sent to find her predecessor also disappeared. They were last seen heading for Lo Pin's island with other students, but they never returned to report as expected and all computerised records of their existence, or of them ever having existed was subsequently erased without trace. We greatly fear for them, but we have not been able to reach the island to try to find out what became of them. Until now." said Sensei.
"So... you would like me to be number three? Won't I just disappear as well?"
"No, Stoppable-san, we do not believe so. Firstly because you will only be on the island for the tournament and will then be returning here. Secondly because we now believe that our previous undercover students were somehow undone by the background checks carried out by Lo-Pin. Lo Pin has tentacles everywhere, it seems, and was able to scrutinise every aspect of our two brave volunteers exceptionally well crafted cover stories. Their false identities had been painstakingly constructed, each with a lifetime of falsified official records created to back them up. We believed they were unbreakable, because Yamanouchi has penetrated many underworld organisations over the last 50 years, and nobody has ever managed to unmask even one of our deep cover operatives before. Nevertheless, it seems that Lo Pin was somehow able to see through our elaborate subterfuge as easily as if there was no subterfuge at all, and to discover their true identities. Our best hope is that they might be still alive and imprisoned on Lo-Pin's island. And who better to find them than a man who has no 'real past' for Lo-Pin to discover and who Lo Pin has invited to come and visit?"
"But Sensei, I have a real past! I think I've appeared on the TV news somewhere in the world every few weeks for the last two years! Usually in the back of shot and sometimes in my boxer shorts, but..."
"You do, Stoppable-san. But Toshimiru does not! Or... should I say... 'Saru Chounouryoku' does not."
"Saru who?" asked Ron.
"Saru Chounoroku is your new alter-ego, Stoppable-san. He is a life long student of Yamanouchi who was left at the door of the school as a tiny baby, and he has grown up entirely within these walls. He is making his first ever trip outside the school to compete in this tournament. There is no cover story for Lo-Pin's spies to unpick, nor any false trail for them to uncover. As hard as they may look, you don't and won't ever exist, and cannot be shown to be anybody other than who you claim to be.
"This file...", said Sensei, as he reached under his robes once more and pulled out a manilla folder which he handed to Ron, "...contains everything you need to memorise about Saru Chounoroku! Learn it well, Stoppable-san!"
"Learn? Sensei? Have you seen my grades? I hate pop-quizes! I have a terrib... Oh!". Ron was bought up short when he opened the file and discovered a single sheet of sparsely typed A4 paper bearing his cover story. There was a name, a date when he was supposedly found, and a paragraph saying that basically he had spent 25 years intensively studying Tai Sheng Pek Kwar. Even Ron was confident he could memorise those two key facts. Behind the sheet of A4 were a couple of 8x10 glossy pictures of the missing Yamanouchi alumni, with their both their real names and cover names written on the back, and a sheaf of detailed background briefing notes on Lo Pin, his organisation, his island and previous Dragon Fist tournaments.
"Stoppable-san, it is very important that you destroy this file before you leave Yamanouchi!"
"That won't be a problem, Sensei! I have my own portable shredder. He's called Rufus!" said Ron. The little guy was currently enjoying being made a fuss of by the younger students elsewhere at Yamanouchi and Ron would have to bring him up to speed later. But he had one big concern. Actually, he had a number of big concerns, but one he was convinced was insurmountable. "Sensei, how can I pretend to be somebody who grew up at Yamanouchi when I don't speak a single word of Japanese?".
"But Stoppable-san, did you not realise that this morning that when you were wearing the Cuff of Sosumiha, when I spoke to you in English you replied in English, but when I spoke to you in Japanese you replied in fluent Japanese?" queried Sensei.
"I did?" said Ron, surprised.
"Yes, Stoppable-san. We believe it may be another fortuitous side-effect of the memories you experienced while wearing the Cuff of Sosumiha. You were using a very archaic form of speech that we would now call Old High Japanese, but that is nothing that cannot be explained away. Until this morning it was Hirotaka-san's honour to accept this dangerous mission, but we could not have known how incredibly successful our great experiment would be. You are a Mystical Monkey Kung-Fu Master, supreme exponent of the five martial forms of Tai Sheng Pek Kwar, and we are in need of your boundless courage and your immense skill, Master Stoppable! Will you help us in our hour of need?"
Ron felt his chest inflate as he basked in Sensei's first ever use of the honourific title 'Master Stoppable'. Part of him knew that Sensei was deliberately massaging his ego, but he couldn't help himself. "Sensei... it would be my great honour! Yamanouchi shall be victorious. And if our people are on the island, I shall find them and bring them home!".
Ron bowed formally. Even as he did so he realised that he had no idea whether he had bitten off more than he could chew. Mystical Monkey Power truly was feeling more like a curse than a gift!
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Enter the Naked Mole Rat