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Face Thy Fears	By : Scienceteacher Category: Transformers > G1 > Crossovers Views: 2674 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Do not own the Transformers, am not making anything from this story.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
Change from Within

Slowly, the sirens went silent inside her meta. Shifting slightly as she began to reboot her systems, Spot felt the warmth of the mech under her radiate through her systems. Another mech’s chassis lay against the side of her leg, a gentle hand caressing her carbide skin. As she reactivated her optics, the mech under her shifted, his rpms going up slightly as he rebooted. She felt Inferno’s bonding cable slide from her, retracting back within him, even as she did the same with hers. With a wistful smile, she rubbed her fingertips on his smooth chest plate, wishing it had been Red’s within her, but still glad that it had still been an Autobot’s beautiful spark which had joined briefly with hers.

Activating her optics, she found herself looking into the clear blue optics of her spark mate as she lay on top of his bond mate. Snuggled up against Inferno, Red Alert had lain his helm on the mech’s shoulder armor, his face plate a mere handspan from Spot’s. Smiling as her optics brightened, he reached over and caressed her helm. “I told you it would feel wonderful,” he whispered to her - a warm, yet sad, smile on his face. His expression telling her that he still desperately wished it could’ve been him. That he hadn’t been so torn inside that he couldn’t bond, couldn’t have been her first.

For some reason she didn’t blush at his statement. Her shyness seemed to be hidden. A strange feeling of confidence filled her now. She had changed inside. She sensed a change so deep and profound within her that her optics widened in disbelief. Had the fact that she’d allowed another spark into her very core programming – allowed that spark to change it? Modify it somehow? She knew that Guardians developed their programming through life experiences, whereas Cybertronians were programmed by Vector Sigma. Was Inferno’s programming so strong, that it had overpowered hers? Changing hers? Was this even possible? But one thing she knew with certainty was that her very chassis was somehow ‘wrong’. A deep sense of disconnection from her air frame seemed to pervade her consciousness.

“It’s wrong,” Inferno’s voice confirmed her thoughts as he fully rebooted.

Red Alert looked from one-to-the-other in confusion. “What’s wrong?” he asked. His voice full of concern – Was it wrong that he’d asked them to bond together?!? Had it been wrong for him to ask them to do that?!?

Spot turned her head and met Inferno’s optics. She felt him surround her with an arm, and it didn’t even bother her. “It is?” she asked, somehow knowing that he knew what she was feeling.

Inferno nodded. “Your spark is in the wrong alt mode. You’re not meant to be a Seeker. That’s what’s wrong. It’s not you,” he said with pity in his optics. “No one ever realized it, because you’ve never bonded. Never bonded with a ground mech,” he stated.

“Wrong alt mode? That doesn’t make sense,” Red Alert said as he narrowed his optics. In his experience no spark was ever in the wrong alt mode. They just adapted to whatever they were sparked in. But part of him relaxed, for they weren’t talking about the bonding. So they weren’t angry or disappointed in what he’d asked them to do.

“It does Red. She’s been honest; she was ‘born’ not built. The Earth mechs can’t control how the new sparks are formed within them. Each one is different, unique. Her mother built the chassis of a Seeker because both she and Starscream WERE Seekers. They just assumed that all of their sparklings would be born to be the same,” Inferno informed him.

Red Alert’s optics got huge when he heard the name of the Seeker who’d captured him, broke him.. He sat up suddenly, staring at Spot in disbelief as he pushed her roughly away. She was the spawn of THAT Seeker! “You’re… You’re Starscream’s daughter?!?” he shrieked.

Inferno sat up, encircling the young Guardian in his lap with his arms. He knew that look of his bond mate’s too well. “Calm down Red. The Starscream in the Armada dimension is much different than his counterpart here. And they lived in peace with the Autobots there. In fact, her mother is one of Optimus Prime’s daughters,” he told him, even as he stroked Spot’s side.

Red Alert looked at her in disbelief. “Your grandfather is that dimension’s Prime. And he let Starscream mate his daughter?!?”

She nodded, but she felt a sense of boldness come over her as she locked his optics with hers. “I was a failure there,” she admitted, “I couldn’t perform well in the frontline training because.. because..” Tears welled up in her optics as she remembered her crippling emotions of worthlessness.

“-Because you didn’t think you could,” Inferno finished for her. He looked into her optics as she turned them to him. “But it wasn’t your fault. No one realized that you have the spark of a ground mech,” he told her. “That’s why you did so well at information gathering. You stayed primarily on the ground,” he explained.

It was all so clear to her now! All those cycles of feeling worthless as a Seeker.. Of wishing that she hadn’t been born a Seeker.. It was actually her spark trying to tell her what was wrong. She had been created to be a ground mech – not a flyer. To be a support personnel – not frontal assault!

“So you lied to me,” Red Alert flatly stated as he stood up and glared at her. “You didn’t off-line before the war. You never even off-lined at all!”

Inferno slid the femme off his lap and stood up, his optics calm. All this information had been given to him during their bonding, shocking him to his core. But it had also come with her honest emotions concerning everything as well. And he knew without a doubt that she had mislead Red Alert and himself for their own sakes. She had truly wanted to help Red, truly wanted to merely stay as a silent ‘ghost Guardian’, and NEVER wanted to be thrust into any conflict. Especially the conflict between the mechs! Yet she had risked it all – for a stranger in need. THAT type of quiet heroism Inferno could not only respect – but trust as well.

Standing between his mate, who was now shaking in rage about the revelation of the total truth, Inferno shook his head. “Her family considers all ‘lost’ Guardians as dead to them. Once Primus takes them to a new dimension they are said to be dead. So in a sense she was telling the truth. To her family she is off-lined. Yes, she stretched the truth as we know it. But she had intended to function here as a ghost for many orbit cycles. To watch us, study us..” he explained.

Grabbing both of Red’s shoulders, he forced the mech to stop pacing and to look at him. “But Primus sent her to that quadrant, to that particular con ship. She watched what happened to you. Made her decision right-then-and-there that she’d never join the cons! Your prayer to him – my prayer to him – led her to help both of us,” he said in a lowered tone, his optics full of seriousness. “She fell in love with you, protected you when I couldn’t,” his voice broke slightly, his own guilt showing, “Regardless of who her sire was, she’s loyal – to us. You and me!”

Red Alert chewed on the knowledge. The knowledge that in a sense she’d lied to him – but also told the truth. He knew Inferno had delved into her deepest memories, just as she had him. Inferno wouldn’t lie, he wasn’t programmed too. Looking over at the femme, he noticed a change in her. Her optics now met his openly. Her wings no longer drooped or trembled in apprehension. “I guess I can learn to accept it. But what do you mean that you were a failure because you’ve got the spark of a ground mech?” he asked.

Spot looked up at Inferno, the mech who’d bonded with her out of love for another. And through the act had unwittedly found the reason for her incapacitating sense of worthlessness.. Somehow, she now felt more confident now that she understood it. “I never felt right. I always felt like everybody was staring at me, judging me against my siblings and cousins. I never could be as bold and fearless as them. And, um, now we know why,” she said with a sad smile directed at Inferno.

Inferno smiled as he moved to put an arm around her. “Maybe when you’ve completed the mission and the Autobots accept you – we’ll get them to change your alt mode?” he offered - his optics full of understanding for her dilemma.

She smiled up at him with relief in her optics. Yes, the more she thought about it, the more she was certain. She was meant to feel the cold pavement under her tires – not the wind under her wings. “Thanks Inferno. Thanks for everything!” she said as she buried herself in his strong arms. She felt other arms go around her, and a sense of acceptance washed over her. For the first time in her life she felt the warmth and acceptance of friends, of mates.

“There’s one more thing Spot,” the Fire Engine said in a low voice.

“Yes?” the smaller Seeker looked up, her very spark swirling through the clear lenses of her optics.

“The crystals.”

Those two words sounded so simple, yet their effect on the Seeker was immediate. Stumbling back, she stared up at him in disbelief. The deepest secret of the Guardians was now known by one of the warring sides! She had failed the most integral function of being a Guardian!

“Shhhh, it’s ok. Because it was your first bonding, you didn’t know to keep a portion of your firewalls up.” Inferno came over to her. An understanding smile on his face plate as he held his hand out. “Raptor would not fault you. And I understand why this cannot be known.”

“Who’s Raptor – and what can’t be known?!?” Red demanded as he glanced from one to the other.

“This goes no further Red. For the sake of all sentient life – this goes no further. Do you understand me?” the taller red mech studied his bond mate intensely, his optics telling him that it was indeed that important.

With a nod of agreement, Red sat down and gave him and Spot an expectant look.

“Show him,” Inferno softly ordered.

Biting her lower lip, Spot nodded. With a trembling hand she reached down and grabbed one of her tail fins. It flashed to life as it separated from her air frame. Sitting down next to Red, she leaned over and carefully sliced open the armor skin of one of her knees with the laser short sword. A strange multi-colored swirling glow filled the room as she pulled out two small gemstones. Gemstones which seemed alive with a strange energy… Gingerly, she handed them to Inferno.

The intense energy fields generated from the stones flew threw his networks with a wash of pure brilliance. They beckoned him, trying to draw him into their whispered promises of bliss. His entire frame shook for a moment as he sought to keep control of himself. His engine sputtering as he staggered backwards a step. His optics locked on them in disbelief over the sheer power contained within such tiny things.

“Inferno? Are you ok?” Spot said in a worried voice. Coming up to him, she put her hand over his, shielding his systems from some of the energy field. Red Alert was also gasping for air, his systems also having reacted to the removal of the gems from the protective shielding of her own armor.

“Y-Yes… Wow!” Inferno shook his head, trying to clear his meta. He’d known what they were from the data transfer from her – but he hadn’t expected his and Red’s system reactions to the Borealis Crystals. “I .. I hadn’t expected the energy fields. They are – unimaginable!”

“What are they?” Red asked, his face plate screwed up in a serious look as he optic-balled their closed hands with suspicion.

“Her grandmother, Raptor, was a femme animated with a human spark in a chassis built from a human-made vehicle. Those two things combined and gave them the unusual ability to produce these.” Inferno looked down at the hidden crystal in his hand, still not able to believe the true intensity of the power he held. The Guardians were so right in not telling their allies, even their bond mates, about this! If a power hungry mech ever found out the true value of a Seeker Guardian…. He shivered in horror at the mere thought..

“They are powered by the very energy of our homeworld – Earth.” Spot’s voice was soft, but steady. Inferno already knew, the secret was out… But they were both her mates now. Both were mechs that hated war. They would understand the importance of never telling this secret – unless she was off lined that is. She shuddered at the mere thought of that. But everything eventually died didn’t it? Grandmother said that she’d seen the mech afterlife once. Promised that there was indeed life after…

“This is what powers our matrix. This matriarch of theirs can fly through both dimensions and time at will. As Primus orders her – she has given each of our first Primes the first matrix.” Inferno was becoming more accustomed to the sensation of the Borealis Crystal energy washing over him. His firewalls adapted to the current. Systematic automatic shields fell into place around his frame, trapping the energy from escaping his control for now. Curling his digits around them further, he nodded for her to let him handle them now… He gave the smaller Seeker a wry smile. “Fortunately, the fact that THAT Starscream used a human spark – also made that first Seeker impossible to truly control. If he hadn’t made that mistake – we Autobots would never have gotten the matrix in the first place.”

“So that’s why you were in Optimus’s quarters? Why he almost caught you?” It was all becoming a little clearer to the Security chief now…

“Primus sent me here because the matrix has been depleted. It’s original crystal called to me…. I….”

“She made the mistake of touching him,” Inferno finished for her.

“We need to show this to them Inferno! They won’t let her go if we do!”

Spot shook her head. “We can’t tell anyone Red. If we do, the Decepticons will target me and any of my offspring. They will try and capture us – use us to grow these against our will.”

Inferno nodded his helm in agreement. “She’s trained to self-destruct herself if need be Red. To keep this secret safe. To keep her oath as a servant of Primus.”

Red sank back down onto the berth. “Then what do we do?!? We can’t let her go!”

Now that he’d fully adjusted his systems to mask the crystals’ energy fields, Inferno looked at Spot. “How’s this sound? After you leave on your mission, I’ll take these to First Aid. He’s good at keeping his trap shut about stuff like this. He can claim that he came across these at the dump he volunteers at or something. He’ll talk Perceptor into studying them, and then with First Aid taking all of the credit – the matrix will get a new power source!”

“And the Guardian secret is safe.” Spot rubbed her digits against the tears in her armor, they itched slightly as they were repaired from within.

“But we only need the one.” Inferno offered her the other as he set the first inside his cab.

Shaking her head, Spot refused it. “You keep it Inferno. If something h.. happens…” her voice broke as she dared to put voice to her deepest fears, “y.. you can contact Raptor with it. Just put it in direct contact with the depleted one. She will come..”

The fire engine nodded his optics full of understanding. It was a last option.. The very last option to avoid disaster… But he was going to try his damnedest to ensure it didn’t come to that! Pulling the Seeker into his arms, he gave her a hug.

With a sigh full of resignation, Inferno released her from his embrace. “Well, I’ve got to go,” he stated with sadness in his voice. “But Spot?” he asked.

“Yes?”

“Do you think it’d bother you to carry an Autobot in your cockpit? To follow his orders during your mission?” he asked, his optics telling her that he didn’t want her to go alone.

“Who?” Red Alert demanded to know.

“Eject or Rewind, they both owe me a favor. And I think we both would feel better if she was accompanied by an experienced soldier,” Inferno explained.

Red Alert nodded, “Yes, I’d feel a lot better.”

Spot looked up at Inferno and slowly nodded. “Do you think one of them would?” she asked hopefully. She thought that the sense of security from having one of them there to tell her what to do, would easily overcome her aversion to having an unfamiliar mech ride within her.

“I think so, I’ll just have to figure out how to talk one of them into it – without revealing what’s happened here,” Inferno said with a smile. And with a quick wink at his two mates, he slid out the door.

------

“You really think I should go along?” Eject asked as he eyed Inferno.

The fire engine shrugged, “While I think the femme is designed to do it – she’s young and untrained. So I’m afraid she’ll screw it up on her own.”

Eject leaned against the wall, mulling it over. “But you said that you believed her, that she’s a Guardian sent by Primus. Why would he send a mech that can’t fight?” he demanded to know.

“I just have this bad feeling in my core. But I know she’d be able to do it with an experienced mech in charge of the mission,” he stated as he locked optics with the small mech. “Or do you want to be the one to explain that she failed to rescue our friends – because we knowingly sent a youngster to try and do it alone?”

Eject rubbed his jaw, deep in thought. No, he wouldn’t want to see the Seeker fail and then have Inferno mention that he’d asked him to oversee her – and he’d refused. “But what if she’s actually a young con?” he asked. Then he’d possibly be handed over to the cons when she went back.

Inferno sighed; the Autobots were all so certain that she was just a young con! “Regardless of what she is – she’s in love with Red Alert. She’ll do anything to stay with him,” he replied.

“And that doesn’t bother you?” Eject asked, cocking his head in curiosity. It was well-known how Red had coldly spurned Inferno because of the femme, yet here was Inferno trying to make sure that the femme would make it back to his ex.

Narrowing his optics, Inferno knew what the small mech was thinking. “I’ve put my emotions aside because she’s the only hope we’ve got for our friends not to end up the same way as Red Alert did. Can you put your own suspicions aside for the same reason?!” he demanded to know.

He mulled it over. Yes, that sounded like something Inferno would do. He’d always put other’s needs in front of his own. And if he really thought this young con could find their friends, and with the right guidance – could actually rescue them.. Then Eject would do as he asked. “Ok Inferno, I’ll do it,” he said, “but I’m only doing it for you and our missing friends. Because I for one still think she’s nothing but a love-struck young con.”

Inferno shook his hand, “Thanks little buddy – you won’t be sorry.”

----

Story line now continues in: http://anime.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600047788

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Face Thy Fears