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Fairly FlawedParents	By : FairySlayer Category: +1 through F > Fairly OddParents Views: 28990 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own "The Fairly OddParents" and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Sock it to Me
Vicky dramatically wiped her hand on her ugly shirt and then walked up to Timmy. “Do you have any idea what will happen to you if anyone sees this tape?” she sneered while waving the camera at him, just far enough away so he would not dare try to grab it.
Timmy stared at her for several seconds but then his lips curled up in a smile. Soon, he started giggling and couldn't stop. The amused youngster put his hands over his face and started laughing hysterically. Wanda looked at him in utter confusion, but Vicky hunched her shoulders and scowled at him threateningly.
“What!? What's so funny!?” she demanded to know as her face turned bright red.
Between laughs he managed to eke out a few words. “I know... I know exactly what would happen!” He doubled over and slapped his knee several times.
Vicky grabbed his entire right ear in her hand and yanked violently. Timmy stood up, but his laughter only began to slow down as he reached to protect his throbbing ear.
Finally, he was able to speak coherently. “If you show people that tape...” He paused intentionally, just to be a jerk to her for a change.
“Yes!?” she said impatiently while twisting her hand around, hurting him some more.
“I'll be the coolest kid in the fourth grade! In the entire school even!”
Vicky's eyes suddenly went wide in shock.
Timmy jerked his head, freeing his ear from her frozen grip.
“Maybe the whole town! I'll be every boy's hero, including all the teenage boys, too. Heck, even the men teachers will secretly think I'm cool.”
Vicky's eye twitched as he continued to talk.
“Everyone will want to be my friend. I'll be a living legend and an inspiration to boys everywhere!” he declared.
“But... but...” Vicky stammered. “What about your girlfriend here? Her reputation will be ruined and she'll be labeled a slut for the rest of her life!”
“Pfft! Who cares?” he shot back while waving his hand dismissively. “I got what I wanted. And this way, she'll have no excuse not to give it up when I want some, if you know what I mean.” To make his point, he formed an imaginary gun with his fingers and did the click-click noise with his tongue.
Wanda was dumbfounded. Her jaw dropped and she stared incredulously at her godson, never imagining that he could say something so callous and cruel. Only after several seconds did she realize how absolutely brilliant it was. Slowly and cautiously, she stepped sideways, gradually making her way towards the dresser.
Vicky screamed and spat in his face, turning several shades of red and purple while flailing her arms frantically. “You goddamned fucking little cunt-sucking shit-bastard asshole fuckpuke...!”
Timmy stuck his chest out and stood right up to Vicky, hoping that his proximity would keep her from noticing Wanda's movements. He just smiled defiantly until she started to run out of steam.
“...perverted midget cock-sucking TWERP!” she finally concluded, taking a long-overdue breath. She growled and looked up in frustration, realizing that the little girl had moved across the room.
But before the vile teen could act, Timmy went in for the kill. “And do you know the best thing that will happen if you ever show anyone that tape, my dear, sweet babysitter Vicky?”
“What!?” she growled while still eyeing Wanda.
Timmy shouted right in her face, “You'll spend twenty years in prison for distributing child pornography!”
“Why, you!” she screeched while throwing the camera at him with all her might. He barely managed to jump aside before it whizzed by his head and smashed on the floor, sending plastic, glass and fragments of videotape everywhere. He rolled to the ground and looked up to see her already over him, drawing one leg back to kick him in his face. “I'll fucking kill you! I'll kill you both!”
Wanda immediately lunged to Timmy's side and pulled him away, just in the nick of time. After pulling him up quickly, they raced out the bedroom door. Timmy pulled it shut behind them, but the doorknob burst out into his hand as Vicky kicked it from the other side, smashing it right out of the door. He dropped it and ran after Wanda as the enraged babysitter chased them, foaming at the mouth and screeching incoherently. They ran down the stairs and started to open the front door, but Vicky slid down the banister, easily crushing the ornament between her thighs as she hit the bottom.
Timmy grabbed Wanda's hand and dragged her down the long hallway, towards the back of the mansion. Suddenly, Wanda stopped him and pulled him into the study, which had a large, heavy ornamental door. They slammed it close with a heavy thud and locked it.
SLAM! The door shook violently but held firm.
They heard Vicky raving and cursing as she crashed into the door again. SLAM!
They looked around the room in hopes of finding another exit, but that was the only door and it appeared that the large fancy windows didn't open.
SLAM!
The only other things in the room were large chairs, couches, a few small tables with humidors, built-in bookcases, some liquor, and several ancient vases, many cracked and missing pieces. In one corner there was a fancy workbench with some artifacts that was in the process of being pieced together and restored.
SLAM! Timmy wondered what good it was to have a bunch of large vases if they were already broken and couldn't be smashed over someone's head.
SLAM! It was clear that she wouldn't give up until both of them were dead, or at least in severe pain.
“Is there anything you can do?” Timmy asked desperately.
SLAM!
“Call 911?” she answered. “Smash the window?”
SLAM!
“Isn't there anything magic you can do without your wand?” he clarified.
SLAM!
Wanda thought hard for a moment. “Well, a lot of our magic power comes from within, but we need the wands to focus and intensify it. Also, they're linked in kind of a magical Internet so we don't have to fill in every little detail of a wish. Maybe I could figure out how to pop us somewhere else if I practiced, but these days I'm sort-of dependent on using my wand.”
“Man, that's... Hey, why isn't Vicky banging on the door anymore?” he wondered.
CRASH!
Suddenly, the thin wood paneling next to the door shattered. Vicky broke through and lunged at them, instantly grasping both their necks in her powerful hands. She was covered with white powder and had traces of blood on her shirt and face. Looking behind her, it was clear that she had simply ripped the drywall apart with her bare hands before busting through. “Time to die, twerp!” she snarled.
Wanda cried and begged, “Please don't hurt him! I'll give you anything you want, but please leave him alone!”
“Shut up, bitch!” Vicky spat. The murderous girl then squeezed Wanda's throat just enough so she couldn't breath, though not so tight that Timmy wouldn't be able to hear her struggling for air. When nothing happened, both she and Timmy looked at Wanda expectantly.
“Oh, right!” she mumbled before feigning gurgling noises and desperately clutching at Vicky's claw-like hand. Even though he knew Wanda would probably survive, Timmy wondered if this was the end for him. Besides, Vicky was really hurting him. Tears welled up in his eyes and started streaming down his cheeks.
While still holding the struggling fairy, Vicky picked Timmy up in the air by his neck, letting his feet dangle helplessly as she lifted him straight up. With wild eyes and gritted teeth, she just breathed heavily, her stinking breath choking him worse than her grip.
Just then, Cosmo popped in behind her. “There you a...!”
Wanda stared at him and shook her head violently to stop him from speaking. Vicky thought it was simply the pleasant writhing of a choking little girl who thought she was about to die. Besides, in her enraged state of tunnel vision, the teen terror couldn't notice anything besides her victims.
Vicky sneered gleefully, relishing the look of sheer terror in his eyes. “Any last words before you die, brat? Or just more wise ass comments?” Then she flung him to the ground before throwing Wanda back into a bookshelf. Timmy lied there wheezing for breath as Wanda tried to pick herself up off the floor.
Cosmo flew up behind Vicky and waved happily, mouthing, “Hi, Timmy!”
The frightened boy struggled for every ounce of coherent thought and every bit of air he could muster. Finally, he squeaked in a large breath and closed his eyes as tightly as he could.
“I wish my parents could see you right now and realize how sadistic and depraved you really are!”
“Fuck you!” Vicky screamed while lunging at him, murderous rage in her eyes.
“You're the boss,” Cosmo called out while raising his wand. The words About Fucking Time! flashed as Vicky poofed away.
Cosmo flew down to Wanda and tried to help her up, but she waved him off to help Timmy. The fairy man darted across to the panting boy and helped him up onto the couch, hugging him tightly. “Are you okay?” he asked his godson. The young boy nodded but then started crying miserably, turning away from his worried fairy godfather. Cosmo thought that Timmy had just been really scared before and, now that it was over, was too embarrassed to let another guy see him cry.
Wisely, the man fairy patted him on the shoulders briefly before returning to help his wife up off the floor. As she dusted herself off, Cosmo looked around the study and assessed the major damage that had been caused. He was impressed that so much destruction could have been wreaked without using magic. “Geez, what kind of game were you playing?” the green-eyed fairy wondered aloud.
Wanda and Timmy answered quickly and simultaneously, “We were just using the hot tub!”
He looked at Timmy in confusion as Wanda flew over to her husband's side.
“I mean,” the beaver-teethed boy corrected himself. “Uh, we were using the hot tub and Wanda couldn't get her wand before Vicky saw us, but she thought Wanda was Trixie and tried to kill me.”
“Well, I can certainly understand getting worked up over Trixie, uh, I guess,” Cosmo thought out loud. “Anyway, I had a heck of a time finding you two. This place is huge!” Then he faced his wife and held out her wand. “I homed in on this, but I guess you'd put it behind the dresser for safe keeping.”
Wanda took it and then grabbed his shoulders lovingly. “Where have you been?” the grateful fairy managed to ask while kissing his face up and down. “Did you get my note?”
“Well, I got a note... I could only read that Timmy was here because the note was all mushed up, so I thought...” he stopped short. “I thought that leaving a paper note in the fishbowl probably wasn't the greatest idea. Remind me to get an answering machine for us tomorrow.”
“How'd the note get wrecked?” Timmy wondered aloud as he lifted his aching body off the couch.
“I don't know. Maybe the naked girls in your bed had something to do with it, but I certainly couldn't ask them,” he explained. “They looked busy.”
Timmy's eyes lit up. “Trixie and another girl were naked in bed!? What were they doing?”
Cosmo shrugged his shoulders. “Oh, I think it was Veronica, so I didn't pay much attention. Besides, I just wanted to find my Wanda!”
Wanda leaned back and looked doe-eyed at the love of her life. Tears started running down her cheeks as she gave him her heartfelt apology, even if she didn't say what she was most sorry for. “It was completely my fault. Timmy had nothing to do with any of it. I was totally selfish and talked him into everything, but I was careless and screwed up big time.” She started sobbing and put her head against his shoulder. “Can you ever forgive me!?”
He hugged her tightly and spoke softly, “No matter what you do or what you say, or even what you feel in your heart, there's nothing in the universe that would ever make me love you any less, or even be mad at you for very long... unless it involves shopping or talking about my feelings.”
“That was the sweetest thing you could possibly say!” Wanda sobbed into his chest.
Then he slyly added, “Besides, I'm sure you feel the same way and would forgive me no matter what stupid, horrible, or sickening thing I did, especially if it was an accident. Right?”
Still holding his arms, she suddenly pulled her head back and looked him in the face curiously. “Like what?” she asked simply.
“Oh, nothing!” He nervously pulled her head back to his chest and kissed the top of her head. “Oh, your hair smells like...” He stopped short, but his other wand let Wanda know that something was up.
“I think I'm going to be sick,” Timmy said instinctively. Then, he tried to put on a brave face. “So, don't you two have a special evening planned?”
Wanda peeked down at her husband's expanding pants and smiled. “That's right, but isn't there something you want us to do first?”
The boy twisted his lips and got a funny look. “I still don't think taking the easy way out...”
“No...” Wanda interrupted while pointing at the damaged wall and debris.
“Oh, right!” Timmy thought for a moment and called out, “I wish everything in the Tang's house was fixed and cleaned up!”
With big smiles, Wanda and Cosmo raised their wands simultaneously, but they both suddenly paused for a several seconds, looking concerned.
Cosmo realized that his powers would be somewhat stronger after just having had fantastic sex, so he considered holding back to avoid raising his wife's suspicion; on the other hand, Wanda's sexual frustration, plus the stress of being attacked, might impede her powers and make the spell less effective, getting Timmy in trouble for any remaining damage. Finally, he decided to use full power. That way he would know that everything was fine before leaving his godson alone for the night.
However, Wanda was thinking exactly the same thing, though with their names reversed. Furthermore, when fairies are on the same wavelength, their combined powers are much stronger. Suddenly, the tips of their wands sparkled so brightly that Timmy had to cover his eyes as a thunderous roar seemed to tear through his body.
An enormous magical shockwave ripped through the mansion in all directions, fixing the walls, the damaged doors, and the ornaments. It also cleaned everything: all of the laundry was washed, pressed, and put away neatly; the hot tub was now full of perfectly-chlorinated spring water; the blender and everything else in the kitchen was now spotless; all of the air vents were dusted out and rust-free, and the pipes were polished; all traces of spyware and viruses were cleaned off the computers and their hard drives were even defragmented.
The blanket and pillow on the floor in the entryway glimmered and flashed, with bright sparks shooting all over them to remove the icky. Finally, they were in the hall closet, clean and fresh. Most amazingly of all, the vases and other artifacts in the study were all restored to their original condition, as if they had been preserved perfectly since being created centuries earlier. Every single item in the house was fresh, spotless and in perfect working order.
“Whoa!” Timmy gasped in awe as his eyes opened. He wasn't in pain anymore; every bruise and scratch on his tender young body had been healed and the alcohol was completely out of his system. He was completely clean, too, with his teeth feeling brushed and flossed and even his ear wax completely gone.
The two fairies just stared wide-eyed at each other for several moments, glowing softly and panting. Finally, they put on big smiles and cried out, “Magicgasm!” With another wave of their wands, they were back in Trixie's room. Cosmo immediately noticed Wanda's crown on the floor and went to retrieve it for her. Meanwhile, she flicked her wand and was once again wearing her special outfit.
Wanda went over and hugged Timmy closely, briefly kissing him on his forehead. “So, squirt, isn't there one more wish I need to grant you?” she whispered, but he didn't have time to answer.
Cosmo quickly joined them and lovingly put the crown back on his beautiful wife's head. “Okay, Timmy! You should be safe for the night, so if you don't have any more wishes, then...”
“We can't leave him now! What if Vicky comes back?” Wanda fretted, but Cosmo gently put a finger over her lips. It was so uncharacteristic that it took her completely by surprise.
“Don't worry, my sweet princess,” he quietly assured her. “I just checked, and the Turners are, heh heh heh, handling her quite nicely.” The handsome fairy put both hands on her cheeks and leaned in, kissing her square on the lips for several seconds. It was so intense that she actually had to breathe when it was over. “Now, I just thought of the perfect place to spend the rest of the night. But I just need to make sure it's available... and prepare another surprise I just thought of.”
“Where...?” she started to ask, but he stopped her again.
“Trust me. I'll be back in five minutes, promise!” With that, he raised his wand and vanished, briefly leaving the word Naughty! where Cosmo had been. Timmy just sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands.
Wanda floated around the room as if pacing nervously. “Timmy, tell you what: I promise that I won't make myself forget, and I'll never do anything like that again. But I'm begging you, please let me make it better for you!”
He responded glumly, “Don't worry, I won't tell him. I could never hurt him, but... when Cosmo picked me up off the floor and I looked into his eyes...” Timmy was too choked up to speak but too exhausted to cry again.
He stared into space a she floated past the dresser and picked up the bottles of nail polish. “You know, Timmy, I think you're absolutely right,” she told him, suddenly agreeable. She concentrated on re-painting her left hand while casually floating back over to the nightstand. “What you said about doing it again if we don't face the consequences made a lot of sense.”
She sighed while snatching up one of his brown socks from the table where she'd put them after conjuring his swimsuit. After quickly turning and floating away, she continued, “It's funny: ever since I got back yesterday, you've been the mature one and I've been the, I mean a, spoiled brat. But, heck, no matter how wise you are you're still just ten years old, and no match for my ten-thousand years of trickery. You shouldn't feel bad about that. Definitely not.” She stopped at the dresser and returned the bottles before turning around to face him again, keeping her hands behind her back.
She slowly glided back towards him, continuing to praise him, “Anyway, despite all that, I'd say that you're already are a man, and I don't just mean in the sex way, either. I mean that you take responsibility for your own actions. And that means you have every right to make your own decisions about how to handle your feelings of guilt and hurt, even if I don't like it.”
He looked up at her curiously. “So, you're not gonna keep trying to talk me into letting you erase my memory anymore?”
“Nope, I know nothing I say will make any difference,” she assured him, but she was suspiciously upbeat. “So, let me just make you three promises that might help: First, I'll never cheat on Cosmo again; to make sure, I'll never erase my memory about what happened. And believe me, I feel bad about it.”
“Second, I'll never tell him what I made you do, because that would hurt both of you too much, even more than I have already.” She stopped to take a breath, trying not to get choked up. Admitting that she could have devastated the two people she loved most was a lot harder than she thought.
Timmy thought her words made sense, but her tone was still too imposing. “And the third thing?”
She smiled at him, staring deeply into his eyes, and spoke slowly. “I'll never ever trick you into doing anything ever again... except for this.”
Before he could ask what she meant, his fairy godmother pulled her left hand out and held it up between them. It was covered by his sock, but there was a hole ripped in it where her two now-white fingernails stuck through. She had also painted two white eyes on it, plus a cap of pink nail polish.
He couldn't believe his eyes. This was something Cosmo might do, sure, but he never expected such silliness from her. What's more, he had no idea how this stupid sock puppet could fit in when they were talking so seriously.
She turned the puppet towards him and squeaked in a silly voice, “Hi! Do you know who I am?”
“What...!?” Timmy had no clue what she was doing, but he started to think that she had snapped. Or maybe an evil anti-fairy had replaced his fairy godmother and everything that night had been a trick. That would explain a lot.
The puppet and Wanda looked at each other briefly and then back at him. “No, silly! You say who not what,” it complained. “Anyway, my name is Timmy Turner...”
It suddenly made perfect sense to the real Timmy Turner. He shuddered with anger and started to yell, “Hey...!”
However, his fairy godmother didn't give him enough time to move. Wanda rattled off its words so quickly yet clearly that any auctioneer would be jealous. “... and I wish that I forget everything that happened between the time we got in the hot tub and when I fall asleep, which is right now!”
Pulling up her right hand, she raised her wand so fast that the tip nearly broke the sound barrier. Her godson had barely started to rise off the bed when she smiled wide, staring directly into his eyes. The star on the end of her wand sparkled before flashing a single word: PWNED!
Timmy's eyes closed and he collapsed back on the bed, already snoring.
Wanda went over to the bed and raised her wand again, causing the small boy to levitate while the covers pulled themselves down. After placing him gently in the bed again, the covers moved up to his shoulders and tucked him in. She sat down on the bed next to him and began stroking his hair while staring at his face.
Then his fairy godmother leaned over and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “I'm sorry, Timmy, for everything. But you need to concentrate on just being a kid, and I have to concentrate on the real reason we're protecting you. I can already see that, as long as we don't screw up, uh anymore, you're going to be a great man...”
“Hey, neat-o!” her husband called out, surprising her from behind. “He's asleep already? How cute! You know, he really missed you. Heck, he didn't give me a moment to myself while you were gone...”
Wanda jumped up and grabbed Cosmo, giving him the most-passionate kiss they'd shared in centuries. “So, what's the special gift you spent all afternoon getting?” she asked, though she was already holding onto what she prized most.
Cosmo suddenly panicked when he realized he had used both Chocodildos on Trixie. His second batch wouldn't be ready for at least a few hours, even if he could pop away yet again to get them. “Uh...” He fiddled around and searched his pockets, finally pulling out a package of eight little chocolate cylinders. “Tada! I invented chocolate batteries for you!”
His wife accepted the package suspiciously and looked it over for a minute. “So,” she began inquisitively, giving him opportunity to nod after each phrase. “On a special day... When you knew I'd be anxious to see you again... You disappeared for hours, not telling anyone where you were... Just to create something totally bizarre and completely senseless... just for me?”
“That about sums it up,” he said with a nervous laugh.
Wanda closed her eyes for a few seconds while squeezing her lips together tightly. Her eyes popped open again and she grabbed his face between her hands, making him flinch in fear. However, instead of the berating he expected, she kissed him long and hard with just her pink- accented lips. Finally, she whispered, “I love you, Cosmo! It's not just that you do such creative and unexpectedly weird things for me, but you always put so much effort into them. Even if it's totally useless and utterly stupid, it still means the world to me because it proves how much you care.”
Then she pulled out a battery and took a bite. “Oh! They're really tasty, and also a bit tingly. Wow, I like the way it feels in my mouth!”
Her green-eyed love put his arms around her and smiled mischievously. “If you think that's good, wait 'til you see what they're supposed to be served with. Now let's go have some fun!”
“Okay. Where are we going, anyway?”
“Oh, trust me. It's where we can be very naughty,” he assured his doting wife. He raised his wand and they disappeared in a flash, briefly leaving a puffy heart-shaped cloud behind.
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