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My Life as a Teenaged Von Neumann Device	By : Toonspew Category: +M through R > My Life as a Teenage Robot Views: 21219 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own My Life as a Teenage Robot, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Chapter 14

Tiff sighed, and threw back another swig of her drink. Once again, it was Friday night and she and her cousin Brit were hitting the town, hard. The first few hours was usually dance clubs and trendy bars, where guys would buy them drinks in exchange for a dance or the opportunity to try out a pick up line or two. And now this evening had reached the inevitable conclusion that so many had before it; Brit picked up a suitor that met the rigorous balance of physical attractiveness and wallet size, while Tiff was left with whatever friend the guy had been out clubbing with. The four of them headed to the guys' apartment, so Brit could indulge her tastes while Tiff was expected to “entertain” the leftovers. “If you want to keep clubbing with me, you have to maintain our reputation. I don't want to go home alone because people think the Crust girls don't put out, do you?” Brit had once explained to her. Tiff honestly wouldn't mind going home alone, or even skipping the night scene altogether once in awhile. But in all honesty, what else could she do? The other kids at school feared Tiff, not liked her, and Brit was the one keeping them both at the top of the social hierarchy.

“So, think your friend in there is enjoying herself?” asked Steve, or Stan, or something. Tiff forgot what his name was exactly. Tiff paused in silence, listening to the sounds drifting through the wall. “unn, fuck me hard, stud! Pound my tight snatch!” came Brit's muffled voice, and Tiff thought she could almost make out the wet smacking of flesh as Brit's date granted her request. “Sounds like she is.” grumbled Tiff, finishing her drink off with a gulp and slamming the glass down on the table. Turning her attention back to “Steve”, Tiff saw that he had slid across the couch, closing the distance between them and allowing his arm to half-encircle her shoulders. Tiff smelt the alcohol on his breath when he spoke, “So how about we enjoy ourselves out here, too?”

Before Tiff could respond, Steve leaned forward and kisses her lips. Ah well, it was gonna happen eventually, Tiff figured. Besides, she had managed to get about $45 dollars worth of drinks, food and cab fare from this one already, that's about as good as Tiff ever got. Unlike Brit, who often walked away with gifts of jewelry or expensive clothing. Tiff opened her mouth and began tongue wrestling, her mind not really concentrating on the task at hand. She was more concerned with listening to Brit's moans, hoping that her cousin would finish before she had to pleasure the guy currently pawing at her breasts.

“Why don't we lose these clothes and get busy...” growled Steve, his breath hot against Tiff's neck. “How about...” Tiff purred insincerely, using one hand to gently push against his chest to give her some room, “... you start by getting me ready for you?” Tiff unzipped the front of her shorts, indicating what she wanted. Steve was only too happy to oblige, lowering his face to Tiff's groin as he stripped her shorts and panties off her. Tiff leaned back against the arm of the couch and spread her legs open, giving him full access to her damp pussy. “Dig in babe, and maybe I'll return the favor.” Tiff whispered in a husky voice, spreading her labia open with two fingers. Seconds later Steve was eagerly lapping at Tiff's pussy, dragging his tongue over her lips and clit while his nose pushed through Tiff's black pubic hair.

There, that should keep him busy for awhile. Most men did want to please their lover, Tiff found, as long as they were sober enough to remember foreplay. Tiff held onto his head with both hands, pushing his mouth more firmly against her sex, which encouraged Steve to tongue-fuck her even more aggressively. Tiff shivered in pleasure, her clit buzzing with sensation each time it was licked. Ok, so maybe with wasn't all bad, even if Brit did get the cuter one. Closing her eyes, Tiff sank deeper into the couch cushions and relaxed, feeling the first faint tingles of an orgasm start to build deep in between her hips. Time melted away for Tiffany Crust, the building heat between her legs the only thing occupying her mind. Until, abruptly, Brit emerged from the bedroom.

“Tiff, knock that off for a minute, I need to talk to you.” stated Brit sharply, causing Tiff's eyes to snap open in surprise. Brit had intruded just as Tiff was about to climax, and now that Steve had paused in his work, Tiff's orgasm was quickly becoming farther and farther away. Steve was clearly distracted by Brit's state of undress... she was wearing only a shear pair of lace panties, and her lover's housecoat casually left wide open in front. “What do you make of this? It started beeping in my purse all of a sudden.” Brit held out the Silver Shell's remote control, which Tiff had stolen some time ago, a blinking red light flashing insistently.

“Dang cuz, can't it wait?!” growled Tiff, frustrated. Steve (or maybe it was Stan after all, now that she thought about it) had ceased licking her, sitting up possibly out of politeness, but more likely in order to catch an eyeful of Brit's almost naked body. Tiff caught the remote as Brit tossed it to her, giving it a cursory inspection.

“I've been waiting, Tiff. I've been watching you for a full ten minutes. But Kyle's fallen asleep, and there's only so long I can watch you being eaten out before I get bored.” Brit say down on the couch, wedging herself in between “Steve” and Tiff. “You were watching me...?” asked Tiff, suddenly uncomfortable, closing her legs and sitting up. Putting that disturbing thought aside for the moment, Tiff fiddled with the remote. The sooner she figured this out the sooner she could have some privacy and get off. “Does this mean we're not gonna have sex?” asked Steve, thoroughly confused by the situation. Brit slipped one leg over his and sensually stroked a hand across his cheek, purring “Oh, I think I can accommodate you while Tiff is occupied...” into his ear. Boldly, Brit reached into Steve's fly and fished out his hardened cock, stroking it's length a few times while she licked her lips and stared into his eyes. Brit rose up from her seat, stating “Let's go into the bedroom, you're friend Kyle is out cold so he won't notice. I want to get this dick inside of me right now.” before leading the lust-struck man in by his cock.

The door closed behind them, and Tiff let out a string of curses. Left out to dry (literally) once again. Just then, Brit poked her head out from the bedroom. “When you figure out what's up with the remote, come tell me right away. If there's something new I need to know about XJ9, I want to know as soon as possible. And, don't mind if you hear me screaming in here, I'm probably just faking it anyway. Probably.”

Tiff frowned, “How come I hafta do this? I was just about to cream my pussy when you interrupted. Besides, you already had Kyle, the cuter one!” Brit scoffed dismissively, replying “Well one of us must keep the boy entertained while we solve this mystery, right? And you know I'm no good with electronics.” Brit ducked back into the bedroom, the door slamming shut behind her. “What makes you think I am?!” shouted Tiff, not knowing if Brit even heard her. Frustrated, and not seeing any alternative, Tiff spread her thighs open and began stroking her clit with the fingers of her left hand. As she halfheartedly masturbated to relieve the pressure that the oral sex had built up, Tiff fiddled with the remote, in no hurry to find the answer.

Twenty minutes later, Brit was just finishing up with her second lay of the night. Stan (he had corrected Brit when she started screaming “Steve!” during sex) was stretched out on the bed fully relaxed, and nearby Kyle was passed out on the floor from alcohol and sexual exhaustion, sleeping soundly. Brit hunched over, flexing her vaginal muscles to push the deposit of sperm in her cunt out onto a wad of tissues in her hand. She was on the pill, of course, and Brit would be damned if she allowed a condom to get between her and the pleasure she craved. Brit finished dabbing up the last of it when Tiff opened the door, fully dressed and cautiously entering while trying to avert her eyes from Brit's naked body.

“It's ok to look cousin.” said Brit confidently, standing with a hand on her hip and her sizable chest pushed forward. “I know I have a much nicer body then you, some feelings of jealousy are only natural. You don't have to feel ashamed of them.” Tiff just glowered, shoving the remote at Brit. “The blinkin' was part o' the remote turning isself back on, it started up when Silver Shell came back into its range. And there's something else too...” Tiff reached forward and flipped a small switch on the side of the remote. Instantly, the remote tuned into some transmission, voices issuing from the back as if it were a radio. “It's transmitting everything he hears through the remote.” Brit grinned, “So we can spy on them! Excellent... ahh, Tiffany... why is the remote sticky?”

Brit thought she saw Tiff blushing a little as she answered, “I also found out... it has a vibrate function too.”

************************************************************************************************

Mrs. Wakeman hummed pleasantly to herself, smiling at the day's pleasant fall weather as she fixed her breakfast at the kitchen counter. The weather was remaining unseasonably warm for this far into October. Nora held out hope that maybe it would remain warm all the way into Halloween, which was coming up next week. Pouring a cup of coffee for herself and heading for the kitchen table, she broke from humming into full song instead. “Bad, bad, Leroy Brown. Baddest man in the whole daaamn town...”

Nora was halfway through her meal when it occurred to her to rouse her lazy daughter from her bed. Ever since she had returned from her latest adventure in space several days ago, Jenny had been sleeping in and generally moping around the house even when she was awake. Just as she was about to get up to walk to the intercom, Jenny's clanking footsteps coming down the staircase let her know that “ol' lazybolts” (a name Nora sometimes teased her with) had saved her the effort. When Jenny rounded the corner and slumped her way to the breakfast table however, her Nora's humor was instantly replaced with motherly concern.

“XJ9, are you quite alright? You look as though you haven't slept at all! Have you been having all-night parties again?” inquired Mrs. Wakeman with a stern eye. Nora was referring to the last time she had seen Jenny looking this bad, when Jenny had converted their backyard tool shed into a popular hangout. The reference was not lost on Jenny... she did look much as she had after several days of straight partying. Her eyelids drooped over off-colour eyes, her hair was hanging at odd angles, and her clothing wasn't %100 correctly put on, leaving her generally in a disheveled state. Jenny slumped forward onto the table, resting her head on her hands. “I'm fine mom... I just didn't recharge fully last night. I must have woken up a few times from bad dreams or something.” Jenny was lying, somewhat. She really had been kept up by unpleasant dreams and worried thoughts, but that wasn't telling the whole story. The truth was that her stress was a result of finding out where the missing 15% of her power supply had been going. Jenny tentatively placed a hand against her abdomen, momentarily lost in thought.

Mrs. Wakeman wasn't completely convinced, but trusted her daughter enough to let it be for now. “Well, a proper breakfast to start the day will fix that problem!” she beamed, rushing to the “fridge” where she kept the various fuel cells prepared for Jenny's consumption. Throwing together a healthy mixture of carbon-fuels and adding a small drizzle of liquefied radio-isotopes for flavor, Nora presented the complete breakfast for Jenny's approval. To her mother's disappointment, Jenny pushed the plate away hastily, wrinkling her nose with a frown. “Sorry mom, I don't have much of an appetite today.”

“How can you not XJ9? You've barely been touching any of your meals recently... you haven't picked up one of those ridiculous fad diets from the girls at school have you?” asked Mrs. Wakeman. Jenny didn't reply, merely shaking her head and looking at the plate with visible distaste. Never one to give up easily, Nora plumbed the depths of the freezer, pulling something small and glowing from the back. “Look what I've got hunny...” She held the beaker aloft, displaying the black liquid contained within and an “X” labelled on the side. Nora proceeded to pour the contents of the beaker over the fuel Jenny had previously turned down, coating it in the thick syrupy chemical. “I'd been saving this batch of Utonium's finest for your birthday, but I know a good cause when I see one.” Nora eagerly lifted the plate and held it inches from Jenny's face, hoping to entice her. As soon as the overly-sweet scent of the mixture flooded Jenny's senses, she cupped her hands over her mouth and fought the urge to retch. “Come on now XJ9, it's your favorite!” urged Nora. Her hopes were crushed as Jenny bolted from her chair, inadvertently knocking the plate onto the floor in the process, and dashed to the nearby kitchen sink.

“Warning! Emergency purge of undigested fuel in progress! Contents of stomach will be jettisoned in 3, 2, 1!” came an mechanical voice from Jenny's midsection, immediately followed by the sounds of last night's dinner being vomited up into the sink. Mrs. Wakeman attempted to comfort Jenny as she continued to be violently ill, then cleaned up the uneaten breakfast from off the floor as Jenny gathered her bearings.

Finally, Jenny wiped her mouth and left the sink, her mother leading her to the comfort of the living room couch. A few minutes of motherly fussing later, Jenny was bundled in soft blankets and had a thermometer protruding from her mouth. Nora stood at Jenny's side, having fetched a travel-bag filled with lab equipment. “Well, your temperature and pressure are normal. No tachyons to signify a temporal displacement or neutrinos caused by faster-then-light sickness... Jenny, what other symptoms have you noticed?”

Jenny shrugged. “I've mostly just been tired a lot. Nothing else to speak of really...” Nora linked her PDA to Jenny's CPU and ran a quick check for viruses, worms, or even (she shuddered to think) spyware, but detected none. Despite having a healthy immune system, Jenny was strictly forbidden from using the internet, for fear that she would contract some form of malicious programming that her system couldn't fight off. Perhaps she had picked up something from that alien ship... “XJ9, when you were with the Cluster, did you... interface with any of the robots there?”

Jenny averted her eyes, twiddling her fingers together nervously. “Well... a little...” she said meekly. The memory of her rape by Brutus' bodyguards was still fresh in Jenny's mind, and she had not figured out exactly how to deal with it yet. For the time being, she had chosen not to speak or even think about it until she could organize her thoughts. She knew the Cluster guards were not responsible for her... delicate condition, so ignoring them seemed like the most practical option at the moment.

“XJ9, I'm disappointed in you! I thought I programmed you to be aware of the dangers that strange boy robots represented.” Her mother lectured, “That's why I always told you to wait until the third date before you kiss, and wait until you've met his creator before you exchange data. Now open your mouth and say 'ahhh',” added Nora, raising an adapter cable to link to Jenny's oral drive to check for damage.

Jenny frowned, taking a moment to choose her words carefully. “That's... not the port we used mom...”

Jenny watched as the colour drained from her mother's face, then was replaced by a flush of red, then gradually calmed back to it's regular tone. “Well, let's see it then...” Nora said quietly. Jenny grimaced, recognizing the first stage of her mother being upset. First she would try to maintain a scientific detachment, then she'd scold Jenny in an increasingly parental manner, then it'd end in a shouting match when Jenny stormed off to her room and Nora retreated to her lab. As unpleasant as all that would be, at least when it was over Jenny would have someone she could talk to about all this, and what to do next. Jenny did as she was asked, removing the blanket and hiking her skirt up, then removing her thong and spreading her legs to allow her mother access. Saying nothing, Mrs. Wakeman located the small data port hidden between the lips of Jenny's sex, just slightly above the entrance to her vagina. Plugging in the cable, Nora performed a full diagnostic with her PDA, then packed up her equipment and pulled the blanket back over Jenny's legs.

“Well young lady, I have good news and bad news for you.”announced Mrs. Wakeman. Jenny sat still, afraid to say anything. “The good news is that you didn't pick up any viruses, or any other alien contamination I can detect. The symptoms you are experiencing are all perfectly natural for your body at this stage.” She took a breath, and looking at her feet, continued. “The bad news is that you are pregnant. Your body has been diverting power to the construction systems that are building the XJ1's superstructure and endoskeleton, and the nanites are hard at work forming it's rudimentary brain. Your tolerance levels for fuel contaminants has been temporarily lowered during this delicate stage of construction, so the radiation-rich breakfast I fixed for you is what set off the automatic system purge.”

None of this was really news to Jenny. She had discovered her pregnancy days ago while trying to track down an unexplained drain on her energy reserves. She hadn't expected the morning sickness though, so at least it was nice to have that explained to her. Jenny had known, but hadn't known quite how to tell anyone about it yet, even her mother. Now the secret was out before she was ready, and she would just have to deal with it as best she could. “Jenny, how could you let this happen?” Nora cried, hiding her face in her hands and slipping her finger under her eyeglasses to wipe away the tears that threatened to burst forth. “I knew I shouldn't have told you about your reproductive capabilities! You're only a teenager. You're not even ready to have a baby yet, you're just not properly equipped for it. But I trusted you, I thought you had matured enough to handle the responsibility.”

Jenny gently put an arm around her mother, trying to comfort her without entirely understanding the problem. She had expected to be yelled at, and grounded, or maybe even removed from school. That she could handle, but this... her mother was crying, and it was her fault! Jenny felt terrible, her insides wrenched with a profound sense of shame and guilt. “Come on mom, I didn't think it was that bad. I mean, you always told me that someday I would find the perfect boy to fall in love with and everything would happen naturally after that. So what could be bad about that?”

Nora honked her nose into a handkerchief, overcome with emotion. “Excuse me if I'm not thrilled about you falling for some Cluster flunky!” she sobbed, “I suppose this makes Vexus and I in-laws now?” Jenny wanted to laugh at the notion, remembering how close she had come to marrying Brutus. “Yeah right mom! You don't have to worry about that. I wouldn't have a Cluster baby if you paid me!” Or, she thought to herself, made her royalty. Mrs. Wakeman's crying slowed, reduced to sniffling. “Then who is the father? The only other robot from Earth that was in space with you... was...” Jenny cracked a smile as realization dawned on her mother's face.

“Mm-hmm” Jenny said, nodding. “The father is Sheldon, or the Silver Shell, depending on how you look at it.” Nora dried her eyes, then put the handkerchief aside. “Well that does make me feel a little better, but this is still a very serious issue XJ9. Does Sheldon know?” Jenny shook her head. “I wasn't sure how to tell him. Not to mention Brad! How am I going to tell him!? It was going to be hard enough breaking up with him before, but now he's going to know that it's because I cheated on him...”

“It will be very difficult for you both.” advised Mrs. Wakeman. “But it's something you'll just have to face. And soon too... you won't be able to keep the pregnancy a secret when your belly starts to expand.” Jenny thoughtfully patted her belly, thinking about the young robot being built within. “Do I though? If you think I'm too young to handle this responsibility... maybe I am. Couldn't you just fix it? Open me up and take the baby out before it can finish growing, and just turn it off?”

“Not on your life, XJ9!” Nora responded, folding her arms across her chest. “Interrupting the gestation would destroy the nanites and cause near instant brain death as the poor thing's brain collapses in on itself.” Jenny opened her mouth to speak, but her mother cut her off, anticipating her objection. “And before you suggest that it is just a mass of metal and circuitry and isn't truly alive until it's activated, let me just remind you that the same was said of you once upon a time. Aren't you glad I listened to my own sense instead of the tiny minds of the government bureaucracy? They were afraid of what you might become when you grew up.”

“But couldn't we just put the process on pause for a little while, at least long enough for me to figure out how to explain it to Brad?” pleaded Jenny “Or, maybe we could even leave it until my relationship with Brad ends in a more normal way, then I can date Sheldon and we'll start it up again as if I'd only gotten pregnant then.” Her mother however, shook her head with a firm 'no'. “I'm afraid there are other things to consider as well. For example...” Nora took a hand-held electric screwdriver from her bag of equipment and approached Jenny's midsection with it, attempting to unscrew Jenny's belly-bolt. As soon as the tool touched Jenny's synthetic skin, Jenny's hand lashed out, knocking the screwdriver from Nora's grasp. “Oh my!” gasped Jenny, surprised at her own actions. Nora fetched the screwdriver and put it back in her bag, saying “That's quite all right XJ9. It's just your maternal programming asserting itself. Try as you might, you cannot fight your hardwired directive to protect your offspring. Thank goodness I hadn't been holding a cutting tool, you'd probably have broken my arm!”

Jenny sighed and slumped back against the couch, resting her hands on her abdomen and peering at it, as if she might be able to see the ongoing construction of her child if she looked hard enough. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier mom, I'm just really scared about this. I keep wondering if I made a huge mistake, if Sheldon really is my true love, if... well there are a lot of ifs.” Nora smiled and hugged her daughter reassuringly. “There will be many times in your life when you find yourself at a crossroads like this. It's never easy, but it does help when you have family and friends there to support you. But don't worry yourself to death over the pregnancy... Motherhood is a richly rewarding experience, after all. And I'll be there every step of the way to handle any complications. This is the first time the reproduction procedure has been used, remember.” Nora patted Jenny's belly, her earlier sadness completely replaced by a sort of giddiness. “I must confess I'm somewhat jealous of your position, XJ9. I built you manually, so I never had quite the same mother/daughter experience that you will have with your XJ1. This is a very exciting time for you, with lots for us both to do. And you can start by informing Sheldon that he's going to be a father soon. I'll check on you to make sure you've told him before the end of the weekend.”

“Check up on me... you mean you won't be there?” asked Jenny, surprised. Nora picked herself up off the couch, answering “No, I'm much to busy! Thanks to this news, I've just had my entire schedule rearranged to help you prepare for the XJ1. I'll be up to my eyeballs in schematics for days now!” and with that she trotted off to her lab, filled with a newfound inspiration to create.

************************************************************************************************

Flipping from channel to channel, Tiff Crust was growing increasingly bored. Not much was on tonight... or at least, nothing she hadn't already watched before. Tiff tuned in to some professional wrestling and sat back to watch. She didn't normally follow the “sport”, but muscular sweaty men was muscular sweaty men, plus there was plenty of gratuitous violence involved. At least it would keep her entertained until she went to bed.

“Tiffany, turn that down! I'm trying to hear what Silver Shell is saying.” barked Brit, stretched out on her bed. Brit and Tiff shared a bedroom, and had ever since Tiff had come to live with Brit's family when she was little. Brit's family easily had the money to give them each their own room, but the two cousins had always been especially close, closer then most sisters. Neither had a problem with changing in front of the other, and they shared everything. When Brit had discovered masturbation when she was 11, she had taught Tiff how within a week.

Presently, both girls were dressed in nighties and prepared for bed, passing the time until they decided to get to sleep. Tiff squatted in a beanbag chair watching television, while Brit was intent on listening to the radio function of Silver Shell's remote control. “Are you still screwin' around with that thang? You know all he does is read books and watch Japanese cartoons. How is that interestin'?”

“Oh quiet Tiff, it's no different then when you were obsessed with that police scanner I got you for your birthday. Besides, right now he's over at Jenny's house... I heard her mom say Jenny had something important to tell him, and I plan to hear it. Now pipe down before I gag you!” Brit returned her attention to the remote, laying on her front with her legs kicking in the air above her. Tiff turned off the television and sat on the bed next to her cousin, now interested as well. From the remote, they could hear Sheldon speaking in an obviously distressed tone.

“You're what?!” Sheldon yelped, prompting Jenny to repeat “Pregnant.”

Tiff and Britt looked at each other, stunned. “She got knocked up? Bwahahahahaha!” cackled Tiff. Avoiding pregnancy was like, the cardinal rule of sleeping with guys. Perhaps Jenny really hadn't learned all that much since they'd teased her back in September.

“Oh man...” Sheldon weezed, catching his breath. The cousins could hear the creak of a bed as he sat down, presumably next to Jenny. “Are you mad?” asked Jenny, worried. “No, I'm not mad Jenny. I'm not really anything yet, just trying to process the information still. I guess, if anything, I'm happy. I mean, this was something I always dreamed about doing with you. It's just a lot sooner then I thought, you know?”

Brit snickered. “He dreamed of having a robot baby? I think that's even more pathetic then spending your whole life jerking off to comic books.”

“I do know what you mean.” said Jenny, sympathetically. She was in the perfect position to relate. “But I want you to know, that I really meant what I said when we slept together... I really do love you, and I think you'll make a great father.” Sheldon grunted a little and nodded, likely still deep in thought. After a pause, he spoke up again, “Well at least you'll be able to finish up the school year. 9 months later will be during the summer, right?”

“Actually, mom said it'd take closer to two months. I'm supposed to give birth a few days before Christmas, my uterus appears to be more efficient then a human's. but I'm not allowed to fight crime in the meantime, so Silver Shell is going to have to pick up the slack, ok? And after it's born, mom is pulling me out of school. She says I can come back when it grows to an XJ3, so I don't think I'll miss more then a semester.”

Tiff stood up on the bed, whooping and hollering her approval. “Oh yeah! Go Tiff, it's your birt-day! Now for real-real, jus fo' play-play!”

Brit wasn't nearly as loud about it, but she was quite pleased as well. Her lips curled into a smile, and inside her mind the wheels began turning as an idea occurred to her. There was no way she could resist an opportunity as big as this... It was time to call in every favor that was owed to her, use every ace she had held in reserve. When the moment was perfect, she would drive Jenny from the school forever. And that moment would be coming very, very soon.
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My Life as a Teenaged Von Neumann Device