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The Shadow of his Heart	By : Catspeaker Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 12692 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
The soft, sweet sensation of being kissed, along with the familiar feminine weight pressed against his chest was what brought Lincoln out of the deep sleep he had been in. Even in his tired, sleep-deprived state, he knew who was waking him up in such a wonderful manner.

His response was to gently, tiredly, stretch his arms upward and wrap them around the girl who was giving him such gentle, loving, and playful kisses. He returned each one given to him in turn, even nuzzling his nose against his kisser's own, before reaching up and sliding into the crook of her neck, placing more kisses on her soft white skin. Before parting his lips and giving a firm nip with his teeth.

He heard the soft playful gasp of his girlfriend's voice, followed by her titter and laughter and her sweet voice in his ears. “Lincoln, my love, we don't have time for that right now. I only came in to wake you up.”

Lincoln groaned softly as he opened his eyes and pulled back to gaze up at his sister from his bed. The blonde haired goth was still in her pajamas, the striped ones that fit her distinct personality so well, and she was idly tracing a finger over his chest.

Lincoln looked over at his clock radio taking in the time, 6:15 am. He'd only gone to sleep 5 hours ago.

He pulled Lucy fully down into the bed with him, she didn't protest at all, smiling happily as she slipped next to him, and settled her head into the crook of his neck. He leaned down and placed so many kisses down on her head, down on her nose, and down on to her waiting lips.

His sister didn't resist, she leaned up as she laid against him, returning each kiss with a happy sigh and smile.

“Come on now Luce, we have a little time... don't we?” He asked with a mischievous grin.

He could see her pale cheeks turning red, though her golden bangs hid her eyes, he could see she was melting under his touch, so happy to be so near to the boy she loved so much. “Maybe a few minutes my love.”

Lincoln grinned, leaned in close as his lips sought her own, and she turned her head slowly to meet his..”Good..” he whispered, “A few minutes is all we need for this..”

Their lips met, and their tongues slipped forward to meet one another again. He heard his little sister sigh happily into the kiss, and he brought his fingers up to run through her long hair, caressing her sweetly as she returned his affection so readily.

After a few more moments, they pulled back, both smiling so happily from the action. In this moment feeling so close, so connected to one another, everything was perfect.

He brought his gaze back to Lucy with a soft half smile and he yawned, “I wish we had another day off to sleep in. I can't believe it's already after six.”

Lucy tilted her head looking up at him smugly as she replied, “Well, I would think you should be well rested, considering you had to have fallen asleep before coming and visiting me last night.”

Lincoln felt a sudden twinge of regret. He suddenly remembered why he had stayed up all night, and why he hadn't visited Lucy's room after everyone had gone to bed. He looked back down at her with enough surprise she was able to surmise there was something he was getting caught up on.

She brought both of her hands down over his chest as she leaned in closer to him, fixing him with her sightless unnerving gaze, pulling out those creepy, almost supernatural qualities of intimidation and other-worldlyness she could bring to bare.

“That's why you didn't visit my room last night Lincoln. Isn't it? After I sent you those pictures and everything. There wouldn't be another reason why my beloved elder brother would leave me all alone last night, would there?”

Lincoln felt real, raw anxiety begin to fill him as he was put on the spot like that. He didn't want to get into this first thing in the morning. He planned on telling Lucy of course, but he didn't think it would be like this. He didn't want to upset her or give her the wrong idea. He loved her, and he was still committed to the idea of them being a couple. It was just, well, Ronnie Anne was a special case.

Lucy kept staring at him, almost unmoving, almost unbreathing waiting for a response. Lincoln had never felt this type of nervousness, a feeling like he'd done something wrong.

He swallowed and spoke up, “I...I got a phone call.”

Lucy slowly rose up, still sitting on the bed, still holding that emotionless gaze on him. Her arms folded under her chest as she responded in that flat tone. “A phone call.”

It was a statement, not a question from her. A statement clearly indicating she wasn't happy. They had gone from playful morning affection to sudden cold questioning in moments.

Lincoln could suddenly feel that seemingly unending affection and warmth she'd been directing towards him the last month and in particular the last few days, begin to slowly close up. Not completely, but the valves were being turned down, and it was beginning to flow less.

Lincoln put on a nervous smile as he continued, “Yeah... Lori called me first..”

Lucy responded before he could continue, clearly bothered. “Lori called you first. Implying that someone else called you second.”

Lincoln winced as she spoke, and he nodded, “Yeah, Lori called me, to talk to me about who was calling me next. It was kind of important and a big deal, so she wanted to prepare me.”

Lucy continued her emotionless stare, her lips pulled down in the subtle defensive frown she regarded the rest of the world with. The soft subtle smile she had always favored him with lately was gone.

It hurt seeing that.

“Lincoln, you're stalling. Why are you afraid of just telling me why you didn't come to my room last night and love me, like I expected you to.”

Ouch. That hurt more. He was supposed to love her. That was his duty, that felt like it was his calling and he had failed. That was another blow of agonizing emotional pain. He was trying to explain himself, Lincoln was typically good at explaining things, he could talk his way out of many situations, but Lucy wasn't having any of it. She was demanding answers from him.

Lincoln did the only thing he could think to do. Just get it all out, don't hide it.

“It was Ronnie Anne. Ronnie Anne called me. I spent all night talking to her.” He finally replied.

Lucy didn't even react. She just continued to look at him. Silently, as if judging him.

After a moment of awkward silence, she gave a slow nod in reply, “Ronnie Anne. Ronnie Anne called you.”

Lincoln nodded in reply, “Yeah... and the two of us got talking, and well, I guess I just lost track of time. We had so much to catch up on.” He gave a pained smile to her, clearly feeling guilty after the fact.

Lucy spoke up solemnly.“Very well Lincoln, I see talking to your old girlfriend was more important than spending time with your current.”

Lincoln winced once more, it hurt so much hearing her say that. Just like that, all of the affection she had, all of the warmth and soft sweet loving energy which came from Lucy was shut off. She was a living tomb. Nothing came from her now but cold indifference.

She stood up from his bed.

Lincoln quickly stammered out, “Lucy wait, it wasn't like that! It's for Lori, Lori wants us to be friends again for Lina and Marco!”

Lucy quietly made her way to his door, placing her hand up on the frame, before she cast her gaze back at him, “So you needed to spend all night talking to her, and couldn't even let me know? So caught up, you completely forgot about me. Alright Lincoln. If that's what you say it is.”

Lincoln continued to feel more and more horrible as Lucy's words struck him. He hadn't even messaged her, or let her know or said anything. He had just ignored her, after she had sent him fucking nudes of all things.

He was already sliding out of bed, trying to stop her, “Lucy, wait! Let me at least make it up to you, I can cook something for you and--”

Lucy cut him off, “I'm not hungry right now Lincoln. In fact, I think I'm just going directly to school. You can tell Lola and Lana I went ahead without them.”

Then she exited his room, leaving him standing there in his underwear. He watched her walk down the hall, and to her room. Not once did she turn and even look back at him.

Lincoln felt his heart sink into his stomach. This was a brand new sensation. He was worried, and he was anxious.

Anxious over his sister...not loving him anymore.

Not loving him as her boyfriend. Not seeing him as the male companion she wanted in her life. After everything she had done for him, all the ways she had been there for him, and he'd done something so just...insensitive.

He groaned to himself in frustration and sat back on his bed. He flopped back and stared up at the ceiling. She was pissed at him. Pissed and hurt.

This sucked.

She was being unreasonable he told himself.

They had spent the entire weekend together, they had slept together, cuddled together, made love. Spent every moment...why was she so upset? It was for Lori and their niece and nephew after all! Why couldn't she understand that! He hadn't ignored her on purpose!

He frowned as he thought more about it. No, he was just trying to justify his own shitty behavior. Of course she was upset. He had spent hours talking to Ronnie Anne, and had acted as if he'd completely forgotten her. Not even so much of a 'Sorry Luce, gotta talk to Ronnie Anne for Lori.' Just tossed her aside like she didn't matter.

And there was that stupid, small part of him that was giddy at hearing from Ronnie Anne. Giddy at laughing and joking and carrying on with his first real love. The one that wasn't his sister. That didn't come with all the baggage and difficulties loving someone you weren't supposed to did.

He slammed his hand up over his face and groaned even louder in frustration.

He was being an asshole. He was being an absolute dick. How could he even think that? Spend a weekend sleeping with Lucy and then just throw her away because a safer option came along?

What kind of man was he?

He sat up on his bed once more, looked down at the ground and frowned.

He didn't love Ronnie Anne.

Okay that wasn't entirely true. A small part of him did love Ronnie Anne, and probably would always love her. She had never done anything wrong to him. There was no great betrayal in their relationship, she had never taken him for granted. He just knew it was too difficult to keep going, and at the time there had been another guy, he had freed her up to go after him.

So it wasn't like Ronnie Anne was some evil ex in his life. She was the one that got away. The one that was an almost. So of course she was special to him.

But they hadn't been together for three years. She had lived her own life and he had lived his own. Maybe when they were friends again...no not maybe.. They would be friends again. He knew that.

But she was still 3 hours away in another state, going to a different university.

And in the meantime, he'd had a girl who was nothing but loving, sweet, affectionate, and thoughtful that had been with him. One he had spent every day with, and had shown him a level of devotion he'd never seen before.

One that loved him despite societal taboos. One who had been intimate with him in ways no other girl had ever compared to. One who shared so much with him, and until just now, had looked at him with nothing but affection and adoration.

Lucy loved him, Lucy was in love with him, and he was in love with her. He knew that.

And he'd almost thrown that all away.

He stood up and continued to frown. There was nothing he could do right now. She wanted to be alone and away from him.

He never thought that could hurt so much.

She didn't want to be near him right now. His beloved little sister, his beautiful and sweet, dark gothic little angel wanted to be away from him. His presence was upsetting to her right now.

Lincoln stopped for a moment and put his hand up over his chest idly rubbing it over his heart. It hurt, it hurt so much. It was double the pain. Not only because what was arguably the best girlfriend he'd ever had was upset with him, but it was the sister he was closest to as well.

He wanted to punch the wall hit something in his frustration but thankfully hadn't lost that much control of himself. He was so angry now, angry at himself, angry at the situation. What was he supposed to do? Just ignore Ronnie Anne? Ignore what Bobby and Lori had asked of him? Was that what she wanted?

No, he hoped not. He really hoped not. He didn't think Lucy was that petty. But maybe what she wanted was reassurance. Reassurance that Ronnie Anne would be just a friend and nothing more. That she was still the most important person in his heart.

And he'd completely blown that.

The only person he thought could make him more upset would be if Lily had said she hated him. That would be the only person who could eclipse the feeling of how low he felt right now.

God he just had to hope Lucy would calm down and let him explain himself some more. Forgive him for being a jack ass.

This hurt worse than anything Melanie had ever done to him.

He shambled out of his room like the walking dead and got ready for the day.

Section Break

Lucy made her way down the sidewalk in the chill of morning fall in Michigan. It was dark out, the street lights were still on. The sun wouldn't be completely up for another hour, but the sky was more of a dark blue than a straight black.

It was cold, she had shrugged on her dark fall coat and grabbed her backpack without thinking of to much else, not even getting anything to eat. She wasn't going to wait for the bus either, she wanted to be alone. She would walk to school, despite the distance.

She needed that time, that time to herself, that time away from everyone else to be alone with her thoughts and away from him.

Her stupid, insensitive, uncaring brother.

That stupid, cruel, immature asshole.

He didn't care about her. He had just thrown her away like she was nothing.

Like she was just some tissue he had jerked off inside of and then put in the garbage when he was done.

All it had taken was one phone call. One phone call from that girl in Illinois and he had already forgotten about her.

She had given him everything. She had dedicated herself to making him feel better, to helping him recover, to making him see himself in a better light again...and what did she get in return?

Used as nothing more than a body for him to get off with, and tossed aside when something 'better' came along. Forgotten about so easily, as if she wasn't important at all.

Just his dumb little sister with a hopeless crush.

She should of known better. She should of known he would never seriously look at her the way she looked at him. She was just a distraction until something 'better' came along. Something he could be realistic about.

Lucy hadn't even noticed she was crying.

The pretty young goth had only become aware of it when her vision had become blurry and she was sniffling. Warm tears cutting down her soft pale cheeks as she thought about how much she hurt inside.

She brought her hands up to her face as she sniffled more, wiping at her eyes.

All he had to do was send her a message back. All he had to do was let her know he had an important call. She got it. She really did, Lori wouldn't leave it alone until Ronnie Anne and Lincoln were friends again.

Even if Lucy would rather Lincoln never talk to her again. Never mention her name or even see her, she understood that wasn't a real possibility. Not with Lori's family in the picture.

But did he have to get so distracted by her he spent all night talking to her?

She had felt so pretty, and so confident when she had sent him those pictures last night. She had never done anything like that before, but she had been so excited after the weekend. She knew how much you weren't supposed to do something like that. Never send nudes, they can be used against you.

But she was just so giddy, and feeling so sexy, and missing him so much. She had wanted to get him excited, make him desire her all the more. She also trusted him. She knew he would never do anything wrong with the pictures she sent. It had made her feel so special doing that for him. Feeling like she was his desire, his only desire in all the world. She had really wanted him to be able to barely contain himself from sneaking into her bedroom that night.

But it was almost worse than him spreading those pictures online for others to see.

Her brother didn't send those pictures to his friends to gloat, or put them online to share to others. No, to Lucy what he had done was worse.

He ignored them. As if they had no effect on him at all.

As if she was a dumb little girl playing at an adult game she had no business even attempting.

He'd completely forgotten about her, ignored her, as if the pictures had meant nothing to him. What she had been so happy, so proud of, so confident in sharing with him...had amounted to nothing in the face of his old girlfriend.

No, the bitch in Great Lakes had a greater hold on her brother from an entire state away after three years of no contact than Lucy herself did.

She felt overwhelmed. She needed to sit down.

She took a seat on a green wooden bench under a street light next to the sidewalk of the leaf strewn suburban streets of Royal Woods.

Surrounded by the small light shining down on her, in an ocean of darkness she felt so very alone and lost.

She never stood a chance, did she?

She had planned for getting her brother, but had completely forgotten and left out the parts of keeping him. Love stories always ended with the Heroine and Hero coming together. They always seemed to glance over the parts that involved actually keeping the relationship going. Like everything would just magically fall into place once you were together.

But that wasn't reality. Relationships still took work, even after the fact, and already she had lost. She had stumbled across the finish line with her brother, only for another girl to come along and snatch him right out of her hands.

How was she going to compete with his first love? The girl who had taken her brother's innocence. The girl who had given him his first kiss, who he had spent years pining after. Who he had such history with.

The girl who wasn't his sister.

Her shoulders shivered and she sniffled and cried softly again. It wasn't fair. It really wasn't fair. If it wasn't for that one little detail she would win. She was confident of that. Even in the face of Ronnie Anne and Lincoln's history, she was confident, without that detail she could win. She was better for him in every single way.

That one little detail that controlled so very much.

Lincoln could be with the girl he could never legally marry, never legally have children with, the girl he could never share their relationship with when it came to their friends and family; or he could be with the girl he could have a completely normal life with no legal or moral ramifications.

Of course that choice was easy.

But it hurt, it hurt so very much. It hurt even more because he wasn't just some boy she had a dumb crush on. It was her big brother. The boy; now man, who had been a constant loving presence in her life.

Maybe she was over-reacting. She really, really hoped she was over-reacting. She just knew she was scared and she was emotionally devastated, and the one person she had always ran to when she felt that way...was the very reason she was feeling it in the first place.

She hated him, but that wasn't true at all. She could never hate him. She loved him so much, she loved him with every ounce of her heart, with every part of herself. She loved him so much and that was why she hurt so much right now.

But a small part of her did know she had ran away without letting him talk to her. Without letting him explain anything. But she knew Lincoln was just so damn good at explaining things, at talking his way out of problems, she didn't want to give him that luxury!

She didn't want him making excuses! He could talk himself out of or into anything if he went on long enough, that was why she always forced him to react with raw gut emotion. She didn't want him trying to convince himself or others of different things, she wanted his honest, deep emotional reaction.

She wiped her eyes again, and forced herself to take several deep breaths. She still needed to go to school, even if part of her wanted nothing more than to find him, cling to him and beg forgiveness, beg him to please not cast her aside. Please not let her go so easily.

A part of her hated herself for thinking that. For being so low as to want her brother's love that much, that part of her would beg for him to keep loving her. A world where her older brother didn't look at her with love in his eyes, with his gentle smile and soft laugh. It was a world she didn't want to live in.

But if he was upset, if he was suffering, than good. Sh e hoped he was. She had heard the distress in his voice, and part of her hoped so much he was feeling pain. She wanted him to be just as upset as she was. He needed to understand you didn't play with a maiden's emotions like that. You needed to understand them, and you needed to support them.

She promised herself regardless of what happened, no matter how much it hurt, she wouldn't talk to him the rest of the day. If he loved her, truly loved her, it would be just as hard on him, as it was for her. He would have to deal with a world where her sun stopped shining in his domain if that was the way he wanted to play things.

Feeling resolute, but still absolutely emotionally drained, Lucy stood up again. She still had her friends and club activities. Her world didn't revolve entirely around her brother. Much as his didn't revolve around her. They both had responsibilities and obligations.

Lucy would just, lose herself in those for the time being. She was an expert at concealing her emotions. Haiku would probably notice something was wrong, but her other friends probably wouldn't. She'd spend her time with them today.

Lucy made her way to school, throwing the love she had for Lincoln into the darker recesses of her heart. Locking it up, chaining it there where it wouldn't bother her for the time being.

Section Break

Lincoln tried his best to put aside his thoughts of Lucy for the rest of his day. It was enough to busy himself in his typical routine, helping out with his family to try and distract himself from the pressing issue on his mind.

Of course, that was impossible. Lucy had been the primary reason he'd gotten over Melanie so quickly. Lucy was now the primary aspect of his life that brought him joy. She wasn't there during breakfast with the rest of his sisters. She wasn't there when they all walked out to go to school.

There was no goodbye kiss from her, no good bye hug. No gentle touch to his hand, no feeling of her presence in his life. He noticed her absence, even as he dropped off Lily to head to classes on his own.

It wasn't like she was ever with him when he went to class, but it was different now. He'd always gone to class knowing she was in his life, knowing they had one another. Even before she was officially his 'girlfriend', she was still the sister closest to him. He could always feel her with him, even when he was elsewhere. Just knowing he would get to come home and spend time with her. Looking forward to hanging out with her had become one of the highlights of his day.

Only now, that wasn't the case. Now he didn't know what to expect. This was exactly what he had been afraid of when they crossed that last boundary together. When they took those steps out of being family, and into the realm of being lovers.

Would he lose both of those parts of her now? She had promised him, promised the night they consummated their relationship, she promised she would still be his little sister, even while being his girlfriend.

But what if she wasn't his girlfriend anymore? Did he lose his little sister too? The one that got him and understood him, better than anyone else?

It was all he could do to try and force her out of his mind and focus on his classes. Not that he really needed to focus on his classes, this was still shit that was basically a recap of everything he'd learned in High School. Ugh, he wondered if they did this same shit in actual universities as well, or if Clyde was actually learning new things. Maybe he'd message him later and ask.

The one thing he did notice finally, was the distinct lack of Melanie on the campus. They shared one class together, European History I, and she hadn't been to class in a few days now. With Lucy now being absent from his life, it was like he could take stock and notice he hadn't seen Melanie in almost a week. Huh. Wonder what that was all about.

In between classes he pulled out his phone to see if maybe Lucy had messaged him, but ended up finding nothing. Nothing except the erotic photos she had sent him last night.

God he was such an asshole. What other girl had ever loved him that much?

Oh sure, he knew there were plenty of slutty girls out there who'd send nudes to anyone who asked, but Lucy was different. Lucy wasn't the type of girl to do something like that. He understood just how much it meant she loved him, that she wanted to send actual digital images of her naked body, just for HIS enjoyment.

But nope, Ronnie Anne's voice had distracted him from that gesture. Just her damn voice.

Speaking of which, he noticed he had a friend request back on social media, and to his game messenger. The social media request was from Ronnie Anne Santiago, and the gamer tag request came from someone named '2Spicy4U'. Heh, he didn't need to be a genius to figure that one out.

He hit accept on both. No matter what happened between him and Lucy, Ronnie Anne was his best friend at one time, and their renewed friendship was important to the other members of their family. He had no allusions about 'getting back together' with Ronnie Anne. It wasn't something he was actively thinking about, even if a tiny part of him, a small very quiet part of him, was considering the possibility.

But he didn't want that in the face of what he had now. He wanted Lucy. He wanted his beautiful introverted sweet and soft spoken goth girl.

He just hoped he hadn't ruined things between them.

When classes were over he did his usual gig and swung by to pick up Lily from school. As usual his littlest sister was only too excited to talk about the things she had learned that day, and what had happened. He put on a smile for her. She was always the brightest spot in his life, even if his heart was currently being torn asunder. Lily was his litmus test for life. As long as he had her approval he knew he couldn't be doing anything too bad.

Lily was especially excited because a new season of her favorite Anime just dropped on their streaming service. She couldn't wait to get home and watch it, and she was already begging him to watch it with her. In the face of his baby sister, how could he ever say no?

Lily was a dork, definitely like him. But she was a much more feminine dork. It was kind of interesting, Lily had turned out to be one of his most surprisingly feminine sisters. Out of the ten of them, there was a sliding scale of femininity they all seemed to occupy, with twin Lola the former beauty pageant queen at the top end, and twin Lana the mechanic and pipe fitter on the bottom end.

The top end of that scale definitely went Lola, Leni and now it was a toss up between Lily and Lori. Before it would have been Lori at number 3 for most girly of the sisters, but despite her love of some dorky hobbies, Lily still loved girly things, and with her artistic side expressing itself more and more as she got older, she was almost ready to take that number 3 spot herself.

Point being, Lily's favorite Anime was nothing less than a Shojo series involving a group of young girls fighting back evil, despair, and negative emotions with the power of love, friendship, creativity and positivity. Of course the show featured romances between dashing handsome male figures and even among the young girls themselves.

It was....not something Lincoln would normally watch on his own. But Lily also liked Shonen battle anime too, and she was his buddy watching those, so the least he could do was watch her anime about magical girls winning love by daylight and saving the world by moonlight.

Lily and he spent a good two hours on that couch after class, her cuddled right up against him, her mouth agape in complete awe at every new plot twist, every new character development and every battle taking place. Lincoln idly wondered if he had looked the same at her age watching Ace Savy cartoons with Clyde.

Eventually it was his mom, Rita of all things emerging from her office who put a stop to their binge. Their mother had only turned 50 recently, but looking at her, it was clear where all the girls in the family got their looks.

Her natural long blonde hair had given way to some grey streaks here and there, she kept it dyed to maintain her youthfulness. While she wore her glasses rather than her contacts most of the time now, her blue eyes still shined with warmth underneath them. Her husband Lynn Sr. and her still tried to keep to a semi-regular exercise schedule, but a little extra weight had crept up on her all the same. She was tall, like most of the children she gave birth to were, and even at her age was a very curvy women.

Lincoln was old enough now to realize why his Dad had 11 children.

Rita was currently dressed in a red cardigan sweater and a pair of what could generously be described as Mom jeans, hugging her waist and large hips. Despite now working completely from home, Rita still dressed as if she were heading out into the world most of the time. Which granted, given the number of children she had still living at home, often meant she had to anyways. But now and then she dressed to relax.

Rita had come upon the two on the couch, and without warning had leaned down to wrap her arms around both Lincoln and Lily in a tight hug, turning and kissing both on the cheek, “Oh, my little man all grown up and my baby spending time together!”

Lincoln only laughed in response, as Lily did as well, though the baby did cry out, “Mom! You're blockin' the show!”

Rita smirked as she rose up, hands on her hips, seemingly unconcerned at the way she was 'blocking' the program Lily was so intent on watching right now.

“Oh come now Lily, you can always rewind it. Anyway I think that's enough cartoons for now. You have homework to do.” The mother addressed her child.

Lily scoffed and said something that made Lincoln so very proud in the annals of his geek heart. The little girl stood up indignantly, fixing her mother with an offended gaze, “It's not cartoons Mom! It's Anime! It's different!”

Rita rolled her eyes, reached forward and patted her youngest on the head, “You're right dear. Forgive me. It's Japanese cartoons. Go on now and go into the dining room, I'll help you in a minute.”

Lily stuck out her lower lip, narrowed her eyes and rose her head as she proceeded to march out of the room.

Lincoln watched her with a grin the whole way, Rita only shook her head playfully before turning back to look at her son, “Maybe I let her spend a little too much time with you and Clyde growing up.”

Lincoln laughed before he folded his arms almost smugly, looking back to his mother, “To late for that now Mom. She belongs to me now!” He gave a playful evil laugh before Rita grabbed him and hugged him, and then gave him a noogie, demonstrating where her daughters got some of their tomboy qualities from.

“Don't think just because you're taller than me now I can't beat you up still Mister!”

While Lincoln loved his Dad, and they had some activities they shared together, he was a Momma's boy through and through. His skill with the written word had come from her, and while all of his sister's had been 'Daddy's girls' to one extent or another, Rita had always made sure he never felt unloved growing up.

He managed to playfully struggle away from her grasp smiling back, “Oh come on now Mom, you know I'll never be able to take you, no matter how old I get..”

Rita nodded with a satisfied smile of her own, “That's right, and don't you ever forget that young man!” she playfully teased him.

He could see shadows of his sisters in every little action she took. Where each of them seemed to fall from her and grow into their own person.

But then his mother was fixing him with a rather secretive smile, as if she knew something he didn't yet.

He looked at her curiously wondering just why she was looking at him like that before his mother finally spoke up, “Soooo.....”

Lincoln rose his eyebrow and responded “Sooooo?”

Rita grinned, brought her hands up together in front of her, “Is there something you maybe want to tell me Lincoln?”

Lincoln was confused for a moment. With how happy and giddy she seemed right now, he was quite certain it had nothing to do with Lucy. He seriously doubted his Mom would have any kind of positive reaction to find out he had slept with his younger sister.

So just what was she waiting on confirmation from him about? What was she....oh, he had an idea.

He had an idea, but he didn't really want to have this conversation. Not now, not with everything that had just happened. God, how did she even know?!

He looked away, folded his arms, and played dumb, “I don't know what you're talking about Mom.”

His mother reached over, grabbed his shoulders and yanked him back to her embrace, speaking in an excited tone, “Oh Lincoln! Don't be like that! I know! You're talking to Ronnie Anne again!”

And there it was. Less than 24 hours later and his Mother was already talking to him about it, how did she even...

He already knew, he frowned as his mother and he spoke at the same time, “Lori.”

Ronnie Anne must have talked to Lori about the conversation already. They lived in the same building, and Lori was her brother's wife. He had known Lori and Ronnie Anne had actually gotten closer to one another. So of course, Lori called Mom....Gah, she had even said it herself... She kept Mom and Dad updated on everything!

Rita was giggling like a schoolgirl, “Lori told me you and Ronnie Anne stayed up until after midnight talking to one another!”

Lincoln found himself flushing, cheeks turning red. He knew what his mother was doing. Teasing him about his old girlfriend. He knew how it sounded too, yeah they had spent just over three hours on the phone talking and catching up...and he knew they still had so much to talk about..

He rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged, “Well, we do have three years of stuff to catch up on Mom, it's not like it means anything..” He said it, but even he knew that might be a lie. His heart was beating a little quicker.

Rita hugged her son again, “I know, I know sweetie, but if she wasn't at least a little interested, she wouldn't of spent all night talking to you. Trust your mother on this.”

Lincoln sighed and nodded his head. He couldn't exactly say, 'Sorry Mom, I have a girlfriend now. I'm with Lucy. At least I think I'm with her, we actually had a fight earlier because of this very topic and she's refusing to talk to me right now.'

So instead he said the next best thing, “I just, don't want to rush to any conclusions. It's been a long time, and I'd rather focus on the two of us just being friends again first, before anything else. Besides she still lives three hours away.”

Rita seeming to be satisfied with that response, stood up from the couch and kissed the top of her son's head, “That's a very mature response and way to look at things Lincoln. But don't be too surprised if she wants more of your attention and time. From what Lori said, she was pretty happy today.”

Lincoln continued to hold that deep flush on his cheeks, only nodding in reply as his mother turned and began to head to the dining room. Before she completely vanished around the corner, Lincoln spoke again..

“Hey Mom, uh, Lucy isn't back yet is she?” He was already certain of the answer, he knew the rest of his sisters were home, but maybe Lucy had slipped by him already.

Rita responded, “Oh she's out with her club. She already let me know she wouldn't be home until later and to eat without her. I'm thinking we'll just order pizza tonight anyway.”

Lincoln felt his heart sink once more. Lucy was so angry at him she didn't even want to come home. What more could he do?

He sighed, gathered himself up and climbed the stairs to head to his room. He had a meaningless two page paper he had to write for class on Wednesday. He didn't really have anything else to do, so figured he could get started on that after he read the sections he needed to.

Everything was somehow even more confusing than it had been with Melanie. Melanie had been a terrible girlfriend, one who took advantage of him, and he was pretty damn sure now had cheated on him a number of times... but he was more, certain of his place in things then.

Now, now he wasn't certain of anything.

Well, he was certain of one thing. Certain he needed to apologize to Lucy. As much as he had wanted to do it in person, he was getting worried enough he thought firing off a text right now was the least he could do.

After sitting down at his desk, he pulled his phone up and quickly messaged her.

Lucy
I am so so so Sorry for earlier today and last night. I was dumb, really dumb and I can't apologize enough. I love you. I love you so much Lucy. Nothing feels good right now, without you in my life. Please talk to me.

He fired it off, and then stared forward at his phone like a madman and waited.

And waited.

Five minutes later he saw the indication 'Read' pop up.

Five minutes later it still said 'Read'.

Ten minutes later he realized it still said 'Read'. He put the phone down and tried to distract himself, see if she would message him back.

Another ten minutes, he picked up his phone, looked...'Read'.

He realized she probably didn't intent on messaging him back.

He slumped his head down at his desk and ran his fingers up through his hair. He felt low. He felt lower than he had in a long time. It felt worse than when he had caught Melanie cheating on him, and yet he couldn't bring himself to cry or feel sorry for himself. Because he knew he was to blame for this in some regards.

But he also thought still maybe she was over reacting a little. They should talk dammit! They needed to talk! Why wouldn't she talk to him?! Why!?

He was so tempted to try and call her. Yeah call her when she was out with her friends, because that wouldn't cause any sort of awkward moment for her. Oh right, sorry guys my big brother won't stop calling me because he's become an obsessive boyfriend who can't function if I don't love him anymore. Yeah that's right Lincoln, call her and do that.

He was stuck in a limbo right now. A limbo of uncertainty and he hated it. Most people didn't do well with uncertainty, but for someone like Lincoln who already had anxiety issues, and who needed to have a plan on everything he was doing... being uncertain, completely not knowing what was coming or what he could even do... was it's own special little hell.

He finally just decided to try and make his time useful. He opened up his laptop and got to work on his paper.

He had an actual good flow going about 45 minutes later, when his door suddenly opened, causing him to jump and almost slam his laptop closed. The familiar sight of his younger sister Lola suddenly appearing through the door, a large smile on her face as she carried a handful of papers kept in a blue folder under one arm, had taken him completely by surprise.

“Liiiiiiinkkkeeeyyy!” Her sing song voice rang out as she favored him with one of her award winning smiles.

He held his hand over his chest, panting and breathing as he tried to recover from the near heart attack he'd just had. He really needed to remember to lock his door.

Lola, clad in a pink plaid skirt and white blouse with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, fixed him with a curious gaze, “Geez Lincoln, what are you so on edge about? Oh wait, don't tell me?”

Her grin suddenly became even more evil, “Did I interrupt you in the middle of fapping?” She threw her head back and gave an obnoxious laugh, letting it go for a moment before completely stopping halfway and fixing him with a stern gaze, “Though seriously, I know your a boy, but if you're going to do that, you need to lock your door. You do have five sisters living with you here.”

Lincoln let out an agonized, frustrated groan, balled his hands into fists and whirled in his chair looking at Lola, “I wasn't fapping! What do you want Lola?!”

Lola scoffed, rolled her eyes and gave a dismissive wave of her hand, “Calm down, calm down Linky, it's alright. Ugh...” She then put on her pleasant smile as if nothing embarrassing or annoying had just transpired and walked over to him with the folder full of papers, setting it down in front of him.

She reached up behind her right ear, where Lincoln noticed she had a pen currently stashed. Taking hold of it, she handed it down to him.

Lincoln took the pen and then looked back at her.

She spoke again, “I just need you to sign and date where I tell you to on these forms Linky.”

She reached over and opened the folder up.

Lincoln looked at her skeptically, this was...strange. Maybe not the strangest thing he'd ever done for any of his sisters, not by a long shot, but clearly this meant something was going on. He didn't move, just focused his gaze on the teenage girl in front of him.

“Lola, I'm not signing anything unless you tell me what I'm signing for.”

Lola gave an annoyed sigh of her own, rolled her eyes again and then looked back at him with a large smile and dropped into her syrupy sweet tone she could so easily manipulate others with, “Lincoln! You know I'd never steer you wrong! It's for your Christmas gift from me! If I tell you what it is, it'll ruin the surprise!”

Lincoln still looked skeptical, but honestly Lola, for how manipulative she could be, had never made him doubt he could trust her. He'd been her pageant coach for years, and helped her with her student council campaigns. Yes she used little sister guilt to get him to do it, but she was always grateful and even sweet to him in return. He doubted she had any sinister motivations.

He leaned his head back, stared at the ceiling, groaned and then brought the pen down. “Alright Lola, tell me where to sign. But seriously, what kind of gift has me signing legal documents?” He brought his gaze back to her.

Lola only smiled so pretty, in the way that won the hearts of judges and voters everywhere. “Oh Linky, don't worry about it! You'll thank me when you find out later. Trust me.” He knew the smile was for show, but even knowing that, Lola was just so damn good at it, it was hard to say no.

He nodded, still giving her a skeptical look, before he leaned over and started signing. She leaned over the desk, flipping the pages for him and pointing to every line, “Initial here. And here. And there, and uh huh, there. Yup, right there. There. And finally there.”

After what seemed like 30 seconds of signing forms, she slapped the folder close, scooped it up and smiled at him again.

“There we go Linky! All done!” She leaned over and gave him a sisterly kiss on his cheek, “Oh Lincoln, you've been the best staffer I could ever hope to have growing up. I only hope this gift will show you just how much I've valued everything you've done for me.”

Lincoln was a little taken aback by that. Lola in her own way was expressing just how important he was to her. He flushed a little, gave a slightly soft smile and nodded, “Uh, thanks Lola. You know I'd do anything for you and the other girls.”

Lola nodded, “I know Lincoln. I know you would, that's why you need this. Trust me.” She stepped back up to his door, and turned the lock on, “I'll let you get back to fapping now. Even locked the door for you!”

“I wasn't Fapping!” He yelled back, but it was too late. Lola had already closed the door, and he could hear her cackling all the way down the hall.

Lola had been pretty sure Lincoln wasn't fapping either. But it was still fun to tease him all the same. She genuinely loved her big brother, she loved him in a pure way a little sister was supposed to. But she also knew it was a little sister's duty to annoy the ever living hell out of their big brothers now and then.

It was a duty, and since none of his other younger sisters seemed intent on filling that sacred role in the brother-sister dynamic, Lola had taken it upon herself to do so. Not too much mind you, there was a fine line between being the bratty cute but annoying little sister, and just being a bitch he wouldn't want anything to do with..

But Lola knew how to ride that line... and she wanted him off balance for her plans involving him. No, everything Lola was doing now was a genuine act of sisterly love for her big brother. She was out to improve his life and give him the greatest gift none of his other sisters except for her partner in crime in this measure were willing to.... Freedom.

She and her partner were going to give Lincoln Freedom.

Speaking of which, she knocked on the door of said partner. A few moments later, Lisa Loud, resident genius middle-schooler answered, looking back at her. Lisa was clad in a large black Snoop T-shirt covered with ganja leaf images and a pair of jeans to match it. She adjusted her glasses before speaking up.

“I ashume you have the required shignatshures from our male sibling?”

Lola nodded and handed the folder over with a grin. Lisa took the folder in hand and flipped through it, checking it over before she nodded in reply and smiled, “Exshellent work. With the Algorythm I wrote, these are all the scholorships, grantsh, and endowments Lincoln more than qualifies for. I'll mail theshe, and with the Journalishtic shamples we have from him, he should be welcomed into the honored hallsh of Wolverine without difficulty, and with most of it paid for.”

Lola surprised her younger sister when she threw her arms around her and pulled her in for a tight hug, “Thank you Lisa! I couldn't of done all of this without you. I promise you when you and Darcy get to High School you'll be treated like royalty.”

Lisa rolled her eyes and gave a dismissive gesture with her free hand, “Please, I didn't need to be bribed to help our elder brother. This idea of yours was the perfect gift we could give him. But all the shame, Darcy will be overjoyed when we get invited to all the bestsh partiesh.”

Lola smiled, “Of course, even Queen Elizabeth the first had John Dee as her royal astronomer and alchemist, and valued his contributions to her reign.”

Lisa rose an eyebrow in response to that statement, the comparison not lost on her, and also, somewhat flattering, “How historically inshightful of you elder sister. Well, inform our third partner, I'll shee that these get where they need to go.”

Lola gave one of her perfectly practiced adorable giggles and nodded before she continued down the hall, while Lisa retreated to her room. Lola had meant that as a compliment too. Lola had her ideal 'staff' in her mind. Her siblings who were the very best when it came to helping her realize her own plans. Lisa, her twin Lana, and brother Lincoln. They were her three most reliable with the best skill set that complimented her own ability to rule and direct others.

When she was President, they would all have honored positions on her staff. Lincoln would make a perfect press secretary, Lisa would be an excellent scientific advisor and cabinet member and Lana...well she was sure the White House had plenty of mechanics and plumbers already, but she could put Lana in charge of them all!

She day dreamed of the day she would be the most powerful person in the world as she idly fired off a text to her elder sister Lynn.

Lynnie
It's done, the forms are being sent. We should hear back soon, Lincoln will be coming to Wolverine before you know it.

Section Break

It was after 10pm when Lucy finally got back. She had spent the entire day away from home, and away from Lincoln. It had been...difficult.

But the distraction of school and her friends as well as club activities were enough to keep her mind off of the pain that had been building in her heart. None of her friends noticed anything was wrong, none except Haiku, but it was something she hadn't wanted to talk about at the time and Haiku had accepted it.

And it had been fun, after school the club met up in the room they got to claim, and they discussed a few activities they had planned. They were going to actually get to spend a day at a funeral home in a few weeks and observe the embalming process. Something all of their parents had to sign wavers for, but they were ready to do.

After that, some of them had went over to club member Boris's place and just hung out. It had been awhile since she had dedicated some time to her friends, with how wrapped up she had been in her plan for Lincoln, and it felt good to be with them again.

Even if, it made her feel a little guilty. It was a reminder of what she had that Lincoln no longer did. His circle of friends had all broken up thanks to graduating and going to different colleges. With him stuck at a community college, he didn't even have friends to hang out with anymore.

His brother had a very tight knit circle of friends. They had all been part of the Journalism club together. The club he had founded with them. So while she was upset with him, she had plenty of others she could spend time with, and an entire extra life outside of the home he didn't have.

Good.

Served him right. He should suffer some for what he had done. Even if she felt a little bad about it. At a certain point, she had noticed she'd received a text from him. Looking it over, it said everything she actually wanted to hear. He was sorry for being inconsiderate, and he was sorry for ignoring and forgetting her so easily.

A part of her wanted to text him back, and tell him she forgave him. A part of her had even wanted to call him up and tell him. The part that was so in love with him, and hated to see him in pain, hated to know he was hurting. It wanted to rush home and hold him, stroke his soft white hair and whisper it was okay, she forgave him and she loved him and all that mattered was that he was sorry.

But she didn't. She wanted him to stew. She wanted him to hurt more. He needed to learn. He needed to understand that everything good in his life the last month, every joyful feeling he received because of her, every wonderful moment, could all be taken away if he didn't realize what he had. If he didn't appreciate her and cherish her.

She told herself this was for his good and her own. It was best to nip these problems in the bud early.

As she was dropped off at home by one of her friends, she made her way up to the door, fished out her key and opened the lock. Stepping inside she removed her coat and hung it up, then removed her shoes before looking around.

Nobody was up in the living room at the moment, but that made sense given the time and that it was a school night. She knew some of her sisters would still be awake, just winding down before sleep claimed them, and most likely Lincoln would be in bed now too.

She figured in the morning she could come see him. She really hated going to bed angry. It was something her mother had told her once, the key to a successful relationship was to never go to bed angry. Always resolve your problems, or at the very least remind one another you love each other, before going to sleep.

Maybe she should visit his room all the same. Just to check on him. But no, she decided not to. She felt too...embarrassed now. Too awkward. She was starting to think she had let the cold shoulder treatment go on for longer than she really should have. Now she wasn't entirely sure what she should say.

She made her way upstairs, quiet as a ghost, not even making the stairs creak under her weight as she went. Her heart was tightening up in her chest as the familiar surroundings started to pull back all the sweet memories she shared with her brother.

All the times she had gone to his room when she was scared. All the times they had cuddled together on the couch and watched tv together. All the times he had sat patiently in her room, helping her with her poems as she struggled with the right rhyming scheme.

None of those were acts of a lover, but it was those acts on top of the others that made her love him so much. And now...now she was being cruel to him. She was so mixed up. She was so hurt, worried and scared and that was what it amounted to.

She was scared he was going to replace her with someone else, so she had ran and left him like this. But then, what if he didn't care at all? What if he was perfectly fine without her? Yes he had sent her that text earlier, that made it seem like he was in pain.

But what if he was already talking to her again. The other girl who'd come back into his life. What if she had just made a horrible mistake and pushed him right into the arms of the girl she was so afraid was going to take him away in the first place?

Lucy struggled up those last few stairs, and made her way up to her room. She stood in front of the door, and then looked down the hall at her brother's room.

The lights were off. He must be asleep. She hung her head. She must have missed her chance. She shivered inside as fear began to eat at her. Fear she had been too harsh, had reacted to negatively to what was most likely just a misunderstanding on her part now. No, No it wasn't a misunderstanding, he had ignored her when she had made herself so vulnerable to him... but she hadn't even let him talk.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiggghhhh

What was wrong with her? Why was she so mixed up, why did she let herself get like this? It was supposed to be happy and good now. She had him, she had her big brother.

Placing her hand on the front of her bedroom door, she leaned her head against it for a moment, took a deep breath and decided to step in. She would wake him up first thing tomorrow and they would have a talk. They could talk about things and...and hopefully make everything good and wonderful again, like it had been over the weekend.

She entered into her dark abode, closed the door and flicked on the light.

Turning she almost gasped as she saw someone was sleeping in her bed.

It was Lincoln. Lincoln was in her room. His phone was at his side, and he was asleep in her bed. Or he was, he began to stir already.

She saw him move, he was waking up. He opened his eyes, looked at her, and slowly sat up. He looked at her like a whipped dog. His eyes held so much pain, and he seemed almost scared to say anything. He picked up his phone and looked at the time on it, before he was looking back to her.

Lucy could tell he must have been in here for a little while. How long she wondered, had he been waiting? It was so important he wanted to talk to her again, he had waited in her room just to catch her. She had driven him to this.

Lucy kept her calm and neutral expression as she regarded him. The boy she loved so much. Her favorite sibling in the whole world, the boy she was so in love with.

He finally spoke softly, looking as if he was terrified of saying the wrong thing, but forcing himself to find the words, “Luce-Lucy... I'm so sorry. Please talk to me. Please just, say something to me. Anything...please..”

She had wanted to be strong, she had wanted to hold her ground and make him explain himself. But seeing him like this, and hearing his voice, seeing the true genuine remorse on his face. Her resolve completely crumbled and she ran to him.

She ran to him and threw her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. She squeezed him so very tightly. Lincoln seemed shocked at first, but he didn't hesitate as he drew his arms around her and held her just as tightly in return.

He could feel her body shivering, and he could hear her sniffling. Lucy was crying. She was crying. Lucy looked up at him then, as tears ran down from her bangs, over her cheeks, and she whispered back to him, “Lincoln I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry my love. I didn't want to hurt you, I shouldn't of hurt you.”

Lincoln felt himself starting to tear up at the display, at the overwhelming emotional outpouring of what had clearly been their first fight. He smiled back as his eyes were misty, “No Luce, No, I'm the one whose sorry, I'm the one whose sorry. I hurt you and I'm so sorry.”

Lucy pressed her lips to his own, and they fell into a deep kiss with one another. They kissed, again and again, as if the physical gesture was an apology for the very real emotional pain they had caused one another.

They kissed like that over and over, until they found themselves pulling each other's clothes off, to make love in her bed. They would discuss more later, but for now it was most important to demonstrate their love for one another, after having been so cruel to each other.
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The Shadow of his Heart