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Already Broken	By : Breech_Loader Category: Transformers > G1 > AU/AR Views: 3421 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
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Already Broken

Co-Written by Harley Quinn hyenaholic and Red Alert

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Harley: Argh. I’m not sure I’ll be able to complete this fic but I really should put up the remainders of the chapters I’ve got. Why waste something this good, anyway?

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Chapter Twelve: Recovering. Slightly.

Ratchet looked down at Sunstreaker. The yellow Lamborghini was conscious, but he didn't look too happy. Since he put up so much fuss about eating, right now Ratchet was hooking up an energon feed to one of the input tubes in his neck, "You poor kid," he sighed, "I hate that it's come to this."

Sunstreaker was barely able to speak. When he managed it his voice came out all scratchy and raspy, "Don't we all?"

Ratchet patted him on the head, "You can see anybody you want to see," he told the mech, "Just ask for them. And I'm going to sort out those scratches on your chassis really soon."

Sunstreaker heaved a painful, shuddering sigh, seriously considering removing the feed when the CMO had his back turned, "No. To both. I'm fine."

"You can't go around with scratches like that on your chassis," Ratchet pointed out, "Especially shaped like that. Tracks told me that Starscream did it."

"So what if he did?" Sunstreaker asked morosely.

"It's a Decepticon symbol," Ratchet sighed, "And you're an Autobot. You can't keep it there."

"Do I look like I care?" Sunstreaker sat up, clamping his optics shut and gritting his dental plates as pain shot, white-hot, down his neck and stomach, "...ugh... urgh, fraggit, what have you DONE!?"

"If you won't take Energon willingly, I'll have to siphon it into you," Ratchet replied, "Unless you want to offline in a couple of days."

"I don't care," Sunstreaker crashed back down shoulders-first, "Really. I don't."

"Well, other people do," Ratchet answered, "Whether you believe me or not."

"Who cares?” Sunstreaker insisted, “I, as ME, don't!!"

"Sideswipe cares," Ratchet said, "Wheeljack cares. Tracks cares. I care. That's a start."

"Tracks!?" Sunstreaker sat bolt upright in a flash, managing to tear the feed from his neck in the sudden motion, "Don't! Don't even GO there!!"

Ratchet tutted, and completed his work hooking up Sunstreaker, "There are cameras in this room, Sunstreaker," he warned him, "I'm warning you right now, if you try anything stupid, Red Alert will know and he'll tell me."

"Oh, whoop de fucking do. I'm so scared," Sunstreaker hissed in discomfort as the feed went back in, "Urgh."

"You're clearly unhappy," Ratchet replied, "I think there's something wrong with your logic circuits. And as well as that-"

"Can we see him?" asked a voice from the door. When Ratchet and Sunstreaker looked, Sideswipe and Tracks were standing there.

Sunstreaker cursed to himself, refusing to make optic contact with either Tracks or his brother. Honest to Primus above, of all the people that could've visited; why them? Ugh, "Whatever."

Ratchet looked down at Sunstreaker, "You heard them," he said, "They want to see you," he looked up at Sideswipe and Tracks, "Come on in."

"Oh, hello," Sunstreaker growled, trying to keep his voice as even and not-sarcastic as he could. He glared at Tracks, "Come to gloat?"

Both Tracks and Sideswipe took up places on either side of Sunstreaker, and each of them took one of his hands.

"So, are you feeling any better?" Tracks asked.

"Like slag I'm feeling any better. I was feeling fine in the first place, at least until YOU showed up," Sunstreaker pulled his hand out of Tracks', but retained his hold on Sideswipe, "Give over."

Tracks looked hurt but didn't say anything. Sideswipe spoke, "Sunny, do you want a hug?" he asked gently, resting his hand on his brother's forehead.

To be honest, the yellow mech didn't care, "If you want to."

Sideswipe bent down and hugged his brother. Tracks looked disappointed, "I just wanted to help," he pointed out helplessly.

A sour, "You failed," was the only statement from Sunstreaker.

Tracks tried taking Sunstreaker's hand again, "Come on, lighten up. If there's anything that's not helping, it's you being miserable about everything."

Sunstreaker hated being surrounded and babied like this. It made him feel vulnerable, pathetic, and helpless, "I have every damn right to be miserable," he muttered, not bothering to pull his hand back, "But you aren't me. So you wouldn't get it!"

"Maybe it's not much use asking, but would you prefer it if we hated you and didn't want you to be okay?" Tracks asked, frowning.

"Not when you put it that way," Sunstreaker hissed, "So quit making my head hurt."

"Well, I'm sorry," Tracks said, as Sideswipe straightened up again.

"You want to be alone, maybe?" Sideswipe asked.

"If you don't MIND," Sunstreaker offlined his optics, releasing Tracks' hand - but not Sideswipe's, "Yeah."

Tracks sighed, "I'll leave you two together," he told Sideswipe, and left the room.

Sideswipe looked down at Sunny, squeezing his hand, "Tracks just wanted to help," he pointed out, "Are you happier now you're making him feel bad too?"

"Much,” Sunstreaker spat.

"You know he does like you," Sideswipe pointed out, sitting next to Sunstreaker, "He just sucks at showing it is all. Come on, Sunny?" he tried again, "Why don't you tell me what's wrong? I'm your brother!"

"Because I don't want to." Sunstreaker paused to scowl at Sideswipe, "If I'd wanted to I would have done it earlier. And clearly I haven't. What does that tell you?"

"I don't know," Sideswipe pointed out, "Just cause we're twins doesn't mean I can read your mind. I want to help you."

"And just because we're twins doesn't mean I have to tell you every little thing that's wrong with me. If you have nothing else to say," Sunstreaker muttered tiredly, "Then go away."

"Just that I care," Sideswipe pulled Sunny into a sitting position, "You ran out and nearly got wasted by Starscream who was doing some scouting. You haven't been eating right. You've been damaging yourself," Sideswipe sighed, "Please tell me what's wrong so I can help."

Sunstreaker stifled and somehow managed to swallow a loud choke of pain at the sudden movement, the Sparkpulse monitors beeping a little faster, "I just TOLD you, I don't want to! This is the whole fragging REASON I ran out in the first place! You, Tracks, everyone, bothering me!"

Sideswipe groaned, looking down at his brother, "I think a demonstration is needed," he said. Then he walked over to the wall and started beating his head against it.

Sunstreaker inclined his head slightly, cocking one optic ridge, "You look retarded."

Sideswipe looked over at him, "It was more an attempt to get you to pay some damn attention. Is this what it's about? Getting attention? That's like something a Sparkling would do."

"If I wanted attention, I'd do what you just did,” Sunstreaker snapped at him, “I’d act like a complete retarded idiot."

"Well you know what?" Sideswipe leant on the wall, "Whether you wanted it or not, you got attention. And you think people are just gonna quit watching as you cut pieces off yourself and starve?"

Sunstreaker looked away, not wishing to look at his brother acting all cocky like that, "You quit long enough for Starscream to re-enact Stone Age carvings on my chassis."

That shut Sideswipe up, "And I'm sorry," he said, "We'll get those fixed. I promise."

"You'd better." Sunstreaker mumbled half-heartedly. He looked as if he was going to burst into tears any moment, "Do I look like a Decepticon to you? Er, no. The purple clashes with my yellow."

“Sunny, just tell me,” Sideswipe asked, “You’re unhappy, I can tell. What’s wrong?” he asked, “Have you like, done something? Hurt somebody?” he took a wild guess, as Sunstreaker turned his face away, staring into a mirror, “You don’t like... think you’re ugly, do you?”

"I don't 'like' think anything." Sunstreaker muttered, then raised his voice, "The black thing thinks for me."

"You're not black, you're yellow!" Sideswipe replied, "Is that your problem? You've got a thing about your appearance? Is that what's depressing you?"

"The black thing," Sunstreaker continued regardless, "does my thinking. It's the thing that told me to do everything I've done," he didn't feel... right. Sideswipe mused that it was almost like he'd detached himself from reality or something odd like that, "and everything I ever will do. It speaks. It chats, commands, communicates, orders. Tells."

"You mean like, a voice in your head?" Sideswipe asked, starting to get really worried about the way Sunny was acting now, "Is there a voice in your head telling you what to do?"

"It says I can't tell you that," Sunstreaker answered.

"Why not?" Sideswipe asked, still holding Sunny's hand, "You're not scared that I'll hurt you, are you?" When Sunny didn't answer, he said, "Aw, Tracks was right! There is something wrong with you!"

"I'm fine! The voice says so, so I must be," Sunstreaker jerked his hand away, "I... no, WE, don't need help. We are fine. We are coping."

Sideswipe looked at him. That had to be a desperate cry for help. At least, he thought it was, "We? Who is this other black thing? Let me talk to it. Or him. Or whatever. Sunny!" he pleaded, taking Sunstreaker's hand again, "You can trust me! I'm your brother!"

"No. I can't!" Sunstreaker pleaded back; an oddity of sorts, "It says I can't. I say I can't. WE say WE can't! It doesn't work how you think it does-" he released Sideswipe's hand, a deft flick of one hand pushing it away, "It isn't allowed! You'll get in the way, like you and Tracks have done already! Being complete pests!!"

"Sunny!" Sideswipe protested, "I love you. You're my brother. And Tracks cares about you too, even if he is a prat! This thing just wants to hurt you! You have to ignore it! Please!" he rested his hand on Sunstreaker's cheek, "Slag it, I'll help! Sunny?" he tried again, "Sunny, are you even listening to me?"

Sunstreaker snapped out of his own little dream world, "Say what now?" The black thing had been talking to him, and he hadn't been paying the least bit of attention to Sideswipe, "Did you say you'd slag off already?"

"No, I said that I care about you, and this black thing just wants to hurt you!" Sideswipe snapped, "You have to ignore it!"

"How do you know?!" Sunstreaker bopped Sideswipe over the head, "You don't live inside my CPU!"

"Hey!" Sideswipe slapped Sunstreaker lightly, "I know because voices in your head aren't usually a good thing! They're a sign that you're infected with a virus or something!"

"If I had a virus," Sunstreaker growled, pushing his face up into his brother's, "I would be screaming in pain, at least if it was in my CPU. I would have come for help ages ago, because I can't fight and I can't paint when I get ill!"

"Not all viruses work that way!" Sideswipe snapped. He pulled Sunstreaker into a standing position, despite his brother's resistance, "Tell me what the slag is wrong with you!" he shouted, "Tell me what this voice is telling you to do!"

"The voice is telling me not to tell you what the voice tells me to do!" Sunstreaker panted; he was getting worked up, "It forbids it!"

Sideswipe's engine growled, and he wrapped his arms around Sunstreaker, embracing his twin, "Okay... okay..." he sighed, "If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. But you don't want this black thing pushing you around, do you? You hate it when anybody tells you what to do, you're not gonna put up with this jerk, are you?"

Sunstreaker snarled right back in response, joints tensing, "It has priority. That's all I can say!"

"Sunny!" Sideswipe let go of Sunstreaker again, "I want you to get a hold of yourself!"

"I HAVE!" Sunstreaker hollered into his twin's face, "You just- you don't SEE it!"

"Primus, you're impossible!" Sideswipe shouted back, losing his temper, "You know something? I give up! You don't want my help? You don't want anybody around? You just want to sulk and snivel like a pathetic Sparkling while a voice in your head tells you what to do? You're pathetic, Sunstreaker!"

"As I said earlier!" Sunstreaker bellowed, twitching, "I don't NEED your help! I don't need ANYONE'S help! I never asked for it, so frag off and don't bother next time!"

"Fine!" Sideswipe retorted, turning his back on Sunstreaker and leaving the room, "But don't come to me when you really need help!" he shouted back.

~~~

Harley: Now how about you read and Review?
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