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Becoming Mama Bear	By : Breech_Loader Category: Transformers > Transformers: Animated > Het - M/F Views: 8539 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
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Becoming Mama Bear

Co-Written by Harley Quinn hyenaholic and Froggy22651

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Harley: FINALLY! Finally I have StSE’s blessing!

Froggy: You were worried that StSE was going to be the kind of bitchy person who would still report you or something just because she thought your stuff was better than hers, weren’t you?

Harley: Well, a bit. Obviously she doesn’t think that. And is not a bitch. Sorry about flip-flopping with the pairing. It was undecided for a while, but this is absolutely confirmed. And to my readers...
Nobody’s quite sure who the female Starscream is going to be named after. Probably after the Seeker who most resembles a nagging harpy. But for now, Dirge is as good a name as any.
I’m so glad I changed those chapters. Maybe I should thank StSE for getting on my back about it, or at least apologise for being annoyed at her.
And to the readers who like Hotwire, my favourite feature about her past is that she didn’t need to be raped to be desperately unhappy. How’s that for a change? A gloomy, depressed original female character who HASN’T been raped! My god! I’m a pioneer of fanfiction!

~~~

Chapter Twelve: Discussion

Prowl was vaguely acquainted with the concept of music. It was a human thing, the enjoyment derived of an organized series of audible tones and rhythms, often mixed with poetic spoken language. Humans had a wide variety of musical types and tastes, and it was dizzying to attempt to understand it all. Still, the cyber ninja had a great deal of interest in humans and had been trying to understand it. Although he didn't quite get the trigger of enjoyment behind the music, like Bumblebee apparently had, he did appreciate the mathematical precision and craft behind it. What was particularly surprising, however, was that he was now hearing it in the base while everyone else was out looking for a recently located Allspark fragment. Everyone, that is, except for the Decepticon defector that he had stayed behind to keep an optic on.

Hotwire was currently in the recreation room, lying on the large couch and watching MTV. Well, not watching, exactly. That would imply she had her optics open. More like listening. For whatever reason, she found the human rhythms known as music much more enjoyable than those on Cybertron. Although unfortunately this channel seemed to accompany them with garish, unpleasant and out of place visuals.

She’d calmly pointed out to Prime that it would probably be better if she didn’t leave the base for a few days, owing to the price on her head. She had been able to convince him, but the real reason she was still here was to watch some music. Whenever Bumblebee was in, he was usually playing his computer racing games with Sari, which was odd, seeing as he had four wheels of his own.

Prowl silently watched the defector as she apparently enjoyed the music coming out of the human entertainment device. After listening himself for a few minutes, he still didn't understand the value of this kind of music. It was too chaotic for his tastes. Crossing his arms across his chassis, the ninja finally spoke, "Meditation would be easier to pull off with calmer music."

"Hmmm?" Hotwire turned to look at him, opening her optics, "Oh. Prowl. Haven't I seen you around the base? Oh, and I'm not trying to meditate. Still..." she switched channels. This time it was a symphony being played. Unfortunately, Hotwire had also turned the volume up at the same time, probably out of spite. Prowl could feel the floor vibrating slightly.

In response, Prowl lowered the sensitivity of his audio receptors. It helped somewhat, but he could still feel the music pulsing through the floor. In contrast to the prior form of music, he found this to be quite beautiful, an example of wonderful mathematic precision. "That's better,” he said loudly.

Hotwire just looked at him, turning down the volume a little when Prowl didn't complain, "And you're here to make sure I don't do something... evil, like go on a murderous rampage across Detroit or set any bombs. Because obviously fresh from the Decepticon's cell forward slash med-lab I couldn't help but betray everybody I see."

"Well, the Decepticons aren't a perfect example of rational thought and action,” Prowl calmly replied, returning his audio sensitivity to normal, "It would be foolish to leave you completely unattended."

"Now I wish I'd said something like 'I see you big strong Autobots are going all out to protect me from those wicked, nasty Decepticons'," Hotwire smirked, turning to lean on the back of the couch. It wasn't as if you needed to be looking at the screen when music was playing anyway.

Standing his ground, Prowl replied bluntly, "I'm not yet sure who needs defending from whom."

"I choose to take that as a compliment," Hotwire said, "So... I take it that..." she was attempting to strike up conversation - not exactly her forté, "I take it that you're fond of music?" she hazarded, "Or... meditating?" she tried again, "You like meditating or something?"

"You already know I’m a cyberninja. Learning to clear one's mind is just part of the training,” Prowl explained to her, "And I do like some music, but I find many of the more recent examples of human music to be rather... obnoxious."

Hotwire just shrugged, "Personally, I think that the music this planet produces is the only thing here," or anywhere, she added in her head, "That makes any sense."

Prowl found this to be an amusing statement, if not one he entirely agreed with. Still, this Hotwire seemed like she might actually listen to his own assessment of this planet, "Perhaps you've spent too much time around human civilization,” he suggested, "You would be surprised by the natural beauty of this planet, if you would simply still yourself to watch it."

Hotwire vaulted neatly over the couch, considering her next words, "Like raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens?" she asked him, mostly to see how he'd react.

Prowl took the question as sarcasm, and the ninja Autobot sighed and grumbled quietly, "Great, another Bumblebee,” he muttered, "I know it's a different kind of world from our own, but it’s worth learning about."

"You mean like... scouting the terrain before the battle?" Hotwire asked him, confused.

"That's one use, I suppose,” Prowl admitted, "But there's more to it than that. Nature is a beautiful and chaotic and comforting and dangerous thing, all at once. You can lose yourself in it; glimpse the greater truth of the universe."

Hotwire tried to think of a sarcastic response to this one, and failed. So she went for the truth instead, "Prowl, I can tell you all about the truth of the universe right now," she said, "And it is that life has sucked, does suck, and will always suck."

"If you choose to see it that way,” Prowl retorted, "Life is what it is, and it does not need your approval to be that."

"Slagging right it doesn't," Hotwire agreed, "It sure never asked me if I wanted to be a slag receptacle for all the dirty jobs nobody else wants."

"If you dislike your job, then the answer to your problem seems simple enough to me,” Prowl told the medic, "Find another job."

Hotwire just rolled her optics, "Let's see... suppose for a moment you're an Autobot," she said dryly, "And you've been ordered to charge a vast and considerable number of Decepticons. You sure don't like your job, so you've got yourself two options. One. Punch your commanding officer in the face and get your aft out of there, or two, do what he says and hope Primus has your back."

"It was actually my choice to become a cyberninja,” Prowl said, "In which case I already have made my decision and know the risks involved."

"Exactly," Hotwire replied, "Sometimes you have to do your job whether you like it or not."

"Except that you really do have a choice in the matter, whether you realise it or not,” was Prowl’s reply.

"I am perfectly aware that I have a choice," Hotwire snapped at him, "The point is that it's the choices you make that define you, not what you have to do!"

"I couldn't have said it better myself,” Prowl agreed, "Which is why I am concerned about what your next choice will be."

"Whatever it is, it will be what I choose to do, not what some dumb Autobot or crazed Decepticon tells me to do!" Hotwire answered, "You think I wear black and white for the sheer joy of it?"

"I think you are losing your temper for no good reason. I think that energy could best be used for something rather more productive,” the ninja spoke calmly against the medic's outburst.

"Nnngh..." Hotwire pulled a hasty reboot, "Like what?" she asked, trying not to snap again, "You giving me a few Ninja lessons? Or some tips on self calm? Or for the time when I need to pound the dents out of you with a good toffee mallet?"

Prowl shifted out of his relaxed position to something more resembling a fighting stance, "I do believe you could benefit from some lessons on the virtues of controlling your temper."

"Yeah, and you're the perfect mech to give them," Hotwire said sarcastically, then paused, "That's the kind of sarcasm that doesn't work because it's true, isn't it?" she said, "I should have tried to compare you to Starscream in some way, except I don’t..." she stopped mid-sentence, and punched the wall in frustration, "DAMMIT!" she snapped, "Fine. Got any tips?"

"Yes. First you must find what is making you angry and understand why,” Prowl advised her, enjoying that for once, someone was asking him for advice. That rarely happened, and when it did, it didn't always turn out so well.

"You," Hotwire lied. The lie was transparent.

"If that were true, I doubt you would be asking me for advice.” Prowl accurately pointed out, "You don't have to tell me what it is; you just have to figure it out for yourself."

"I figured out what it is less than a nanoclick after it happened," Hotwire snapped.

"Now imagine that anger is a stream,” Prow said calmly, “Direct it, let it flow through you and past you like a river, until it has flowed far away where it cannot touch you, and watch the source of your anger."

Hotwire tried to visualise what Prowl advised, "I... I can't," she said, "It's... I can't... because..." she gripped her head tightly, "It's... the only reason... I can keep going..." she whispered, hating that she was admitting even that to Prowl.

Prowl frowned deeply, a little surprised by this answer, but not by much, "A life lived for anger is a life of suffering. If it's peace you want, you must learn to let go of that. You don't need that kind of fire to live... simply be and let all other things fall where they may."

"Don't you get it, Prowl?" Hotwire looked up again, more confidently, "I deserve to suffer. If I wasn’t angry I'd despair..." she growled, “But an Autobot couldn’t possibly understand...”

Prowl crossed his arms over his chest, watching Hotwire with disapproval, "Are you not listening to me?" he asked, a hint of irritation in his voice, "You don't have to feel anger or despair. Empty your mind of thought. Simply be what you are meant to be, and you will find a way." The ninja sighed and rubbed his forehead, doubting that she understood a word of it.

Hotwire tried to calm herself again, "I'm meant to be a medic," she said, "But that's why I'm so angry. I suppose you're going to tell me that... that if it's making me angry it's not what I'm meant to be. Got any more clever suggestions?"

"Being a medic is a profession,” the cyberninja replied, annoyed with her bad attitude, "That is not all of what a person is. I do not think you know what exactly you are meant to be."

"I expect you can give me some advice on it, then?" Hotwire asked him cuttingly. The backs of her arms were starting to itch, despite being metal.

"I can't tell you who you are,” Prowl said patiently, "But I can tell you that if you are at peace and satisfied with what you do, then you are what you are meant to be. Follow your bliss." With that, Prowl turned away from her and faced the television. The tall robot sat down cross-legged on the floor and closed his optics.

Hotwire growled between her teeth, then picked up the remote, turned the MTV station to a Heavy Metal channel, and turned the volume right up. Then she flung the remote against the wall, shattering it, and walked out of the room.

Prowl cringed, covering his audio receptors with his hands as he crawled over to the television, manually shutting it off. Throwing a dirty look in the direction Hotwire had taken, he sighed and sat back down on the floor, trying to meditate.

Hotwire returned to her room, her engine still growling, and slammed the door hard enough to be heard in the recreation room. How dare Prowl tell her what to do, stupid arrogant Autobot... telling her to give up anger when it was all that kept her going... telling her that being a medic wasn't what she was meant to be because she wasn't happy... Of course, Hotwire's divided mind knew damn well that she had asked him for advice, and that she was twisting his words. Shuddering, she wished for the millionth time that she was somebody else.

Prowl tried to sink into meditation, but he couldn't clear his mind of the rough encounter he just had with the Decepticon defector. Besides, he was supposed to be watching her, and he couldn't do that from the floor. Purposefully, the Autobot made his way to her assigned chambers and opened the door.

Hotwire was sitting in the middle of the room, her back to the door, but she heard it open, "Go. Away," she said firmly. From behind her, it looked to Prowl as if she was picking at her scars again.

"You are still under observation,” Prowl reminded her, "and... what are you doing?"

"None of your business," Hotwire replied, hunching over slightly, "But if you must know, it's a much better way of dealing with anger than letting it flow away until there's nothing inside but a great empty void," she spat. The scraping continued.

"If you're going to misinterpret my words, at least quote me correctly,” Prowl snapped back. The cyberninja stepped forward and frowned as he noticed the screwdriver she was using to scratch her armour. Disgusted, he reached down swiftly and wrenched it from her hand, "If you're so intent on hurting yourself, then step into the sparring ring with me and stop acting like some petulant little youngling," he told her.

"Give that back!" Hotwire snapped, jumping to her feet. She had been just about to tear it through her armour before Prowl had snatched it away from her, "Give it back and get out of my room!"

Prowl had other plans, however. One hand held the screwdriver behind his back while the other was stretched out in front of her, giving her a taunting 'bring it on' gesture. The cyberninja had shifted into a fighting stance, ready for an attack. His calm voice contrasted against this as he said, "If you want it, come and get it."

Hotwire growled again, "Without offlining you, I suppose?" she asked him, taking a step forward. She didn’t like making the first move. If she did have to attack first, she much preferred the element of surprise, being so much smaller than most of her opponents.

Prowl stepped back in response, maintaining his distance from her and moving slightly towards the doorway, "That would be much appreciated,” he smiled dryly.

Hotwire could tell just by looking, that if she attacked Prowl she'd probably lose. But she'd be damned if he was just going to walk all over her like that, "Fine," she said, stepping back slightly to get the distance right. Then she flipped forward, ending up directly in front of him, aiming a left-handed punch at his face and a right-kick at his crotch. One of those strikes was sure to hit him.

Deciding that he would rather be struck in the face, Prowl leant forward and rolled his head with the blow, minimizing the impact as best as he could. Slapping her arm down, the ninja quickly retreated out of her room into the more spacious warehouse beyond.

Hotwire grinned, "You're not going to run away, are you?" she asked him, before jumping forward. He could try and stop her. She was banking on it. And if he didn't, well, she could work with that too.

Instead, the cyberninja proved that he wasn't a fool when it came to fighting in this environment. Rather than stand his ground or back up, he rolled under her as she leapt and came up kicking towards where he suspected she would land.

Hotwire landed on cement lightly, and realising how Prowl had dodged, jumped straight up, grabbing a metal rafter before swinging back down at Prowl again.

Prowl barely twisted away before she landed. Her speed and agility proved impressive. The cyberninja smirked; he hadn't had a good sparring match since Jazz was last here. His team-mates were either not interested or provided little challenge. Leaping back towards her, Prowl thrust an elbow towards her face.

Hotwire dodged with a cartwheel to the right, and aimed a spinning kick to Prowl's torso. Speed and agility were what her fighting skills revolved around.

The kick struck Prowl, knocking him back, the cyberninja grunting in pain. Using the momentum, he turned it into a backwards flip, launching another kick at Hotwire's face as he did so.

Hotwire knew that move. It was her favourite way to escape. She leant back, her knees bending until she was parallel with the floor, and the kick passed over her. She straightened up again. Prowl was very good. He could very well win. But if she lost, she was going to lose with style, "You know, for a blow to hurt, it needs to connect," she taunted him arrogantly, before flipping onto her hands and launching herself at him, feet first.

Prowl mirrored her own dodge, bending far backwards as Hotwire passed over him, but as she passed, he grabbed hold of her ankles and let her momentum send her into an controlled fall on her face, "Not necesserily," he retorted.

Hotwire growled, pushing herself up again, "You're pretty good," she hissed, "But you don't think you can keep me away from every sharp object, do you?" A knife flashed from her forearm into her hand.

Staring dispassionately at his opponent, Prowl swiftly drew a pair of shurikens, holding them at the ready before him. "I would rather this not get lethal if it can be avoided,” be told her.

"That... is my screwdriver you're holding," Hotwire returned to her feet, "Why do you even care?" she spat.

It was a good question, and it was one that deserved answering. Relaxing somewhat, keeping his guard up, the cyberninja replied, "Because you should have more respect for yourself, and it’s hard to watch you hurt yourself senselessly without intervening."

"No 'con ever cared," Hotwire returned, "No 'bot ever cared," she hissed, turning to face him, her hands shaking, "Nobody, anywhere, gives without taking," she growled, "Why would you be any different?"

"You assume I want something from you. Perhaps stopping you from being so immature is reward enough for me,” Prowl suggested.

Hotwire nearly exploded when Prowl called her immature. But no, that would just prove his point, and it wasn’t like she could beat him in a fight, "You say that now," she replied, her arms itching, "You Autobots... always playing the 'noble' game. Always so much more noble and good than anybody else... And 'cons... they never stop to say thank-you. Ever. They just go back to their killing..." She pressed the blade to her right arm, ready to force it through.

"I'm the last person who could claim nobility,” Prowl told her, watching her hold the blade distastefully, "But do not mistake concern for self-righteousness. I simply find what you are doing to yourself to be demeaning and below you."

Hotwire glared for a long moment, "Keep the damn screwdriver," she hissed, the blade returning to its place, "But let me tell you this, Prowl," she wagged a finger under his nose, "Nobody gives without taking. I'm on to you... whatever you may demand," she snapped.

Prowl tilted his head up slightly, avoiding her wagging finger, "I doubt I’ll demand anything of you,” he told her, "Not all things that mechs seek are physical materials. In fact, the most important things are far beyond them."

"Like peace?" Hotwire mocked him, "Hope? A sense of humour?"

"Maybe a little of all three,” Prowl explained, "In any case, surely you see the irony in a medic intentionally damaging herself?"

"I get angry with myself," Hotwire admitted, stepping back, "Happy now? Now you know what all this anger and hatred is directed at?"

"Happy? No,” the Autobot cyberninja told her carefully, "Not really surprised, though. Mostly, I want to know why you are so angry with yourself."

Hotwire turned her back on him, "What makes you think you're finding out?" She headed out of the room, still seething.

Prowl slapped his hand to his face with a grimace. By Primus, Hotwire was abrasive. Not like Bumblebee though. Bumblebee did it naturally. Hotwire did it on purpose. He settled back into the lotus position, and had soon cleansed the argument from his mind with meditation.

~~~

Froggy: Harley promises right now that if Hotwire’s past ever turns out to involve rape, any of her readers are fully authorised to shoot off her kneecaps.

Harley: Now that the pairing is confirmed, next chapter... the stars!
- 11
- 12
- 13
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Becoming Mama Bear