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Aventure Amoureuse	By : Baron Category: +M through R > Miraculous LadyBug Views: 5012 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction for adults. Miraculous Ladybug and its characters are not mine, and are the property of ZAG-inc. I make no profit from this and all characters are 18+.

Chapter List
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You lay in Adrien's bed as he squeezes you tightly before you pry his arm off of you and sit up. "What's wrong? Is everything ok?" he asks you looking slightly worried about you getting up so abruptly. "Look, babe. I gotta go hack a butt and make a phone call. I'll be right back." you say as you get up and grab your jacket and your cigarettes. "You're going outside bottomless?" Adrien asks you. "Dude, I'm only going out onto the balcony. If someone wants to look at my ass, then they can kiss it while they stare." you shrug as you put a cigarette in your mouth and neglect to give a fuck about the neighbors. "Ok, please hurry back. You're the only thing that I remember clearly at the moment, and I'd like to spend some more time with you." he explains as you walk towards the balcony. "Relax. I'm not going far. Talk to Plagg for a little bit. Maybe he can help you remember what that silver ring of yours is for." you smile at him as you blow him a kiss making him swoon before walking outside. You light up a cigarette and dial Master Fu. "I told you people to stop calling me! I'm a 186 year old Buddhist monk! I'm not interested in sexy singles in my area!" Master Fu answers as he blows a whistle into the phone that nearly deafens you. "OW! Master Fu! Chill! It's me!" you shout into the phone as you hold it away from your ear. "Who's me? Make it fast, I don't give my number out to very many people." Fu grumbles impatiently. "It's me, your favorite wolf!" you say with a grin as you pick your sore ear with your pinky finger. "I only know one wolf, and they're rather violent and promiscuous." Fu explains. "It's nice to hear from you too." you say as you pop your jaw to relieve the pain in your eardrum. "Something happened, didn't it? I'm pretty sure that you're not calling me for my famous egg roll recipe." Master Fu says sounding slightly annoyed. "As much as I do enjoy a good egg roll, you're correct in your assumption. I kinda made a slight mistake." you say nervously hoping that he won't blast you with that whistle again. "What did you do?" Fu sighs. "I might have... um... broken... one of your students." you explain as you take a drag of your cigarette and grit your teeth. "What do you mean by broken? If you stuck something up Adrien's rectum and ripped him, call 112. I certainly don't want to hear about your bizarre fetishes and bedroom habits." Master Fu says impatiently. "I didn't rip him, and that's not what I'm calling about." you say as you smoke your cigarette and wonder how far Adrien's ass can stretch. "Ok, then. Broken how? Broken bones? Or broken dead? I'm going to be upset with you if you caused on of my pupils to perish." Fu says sternly. "His body is fine (quite), and he's not dead. He's just uh... kinda dead." you explain as you smoke your cigarette and ash it over the balcony. "What do you mean kinda dead? What have you done to my Chat Noir?" Master Fu grumbles sounding angry. "Heh. I um... might have... fried his brain a little bit." you explain as you grit your teeth nervously and exhale smoke through your nostrils. "You overdosed him on drugs, haven't you? Give him some B12 and some citrus and let him rest for a while. He should be fine when the LSD wears off." Fu sighs in disappointment. "No, no! It's not that kind of fried! I may have accidentally let him borrow the wolf miraculous. It was totally Plagg's idea." you say as you smoke. "I heard that, human! Don't try to pin your crimes on me!" Plagg shouts from inside the house. "Plagg knows better than to tell anyone to put on the wolf miraculous. Why would you think that it would be a good idea to put it on Adrien?" Fu asks you. "I needed Viperion! The only ones who know his identity are me, and Chat Noir. Luka would have discovered our identities if I didn't swap miraculous with Adrien. He doesn't know that I'm Lycaon or that Adrien is Chat Noir. I could have had Adrien ask Luka himself if Plagg hadn't gone missing!" you explain defensively as you finish your cigarette and flick it over the balcony. "How is Adrien? Is he catatonic or insane?" Master Fu asks. "He WAS catatonic earlier, now he just has a very severe case of CRS and doesn't remember being Chat Noir." you explain to the guardian. "Wait, CRS? How did he get Rubella?" Fu asks you. "I don't know what Rubella is, but CRS means that he Can't Remember Shit. It's slang, I think." you explain to him. "Ok, let me make sure that I understand you. You're saying that Adrien is alive but he has amnesia?" Master Fu asks. "Dude, I'm telling you that he can't remember anything! I don't know what video games he has! He's rich, and he has a lot of them. I'm pretty sure that Amnesia is in his library too, but I don't see what that has to do with the problem at hand!" you shout at him. "You're so dumb that you make my head hurt. Just come over here, and I'll make you a potion that can cure amnes- his memory loss." Fu sighs sounding frustrated. "Thanks, Master Fu! I'll take that egg roll recipe that you mentioned earlier too, if you don't mind." you say to him. "Fine, whatever! Just get over here before Hawk Moth attacks Paris again!" Master Fu explains as he hangs up the phone.
You walk back into Adrien's room to see Plagg trying to explain things to him. "So then I go into your ring, and we fuse together. You become a cat superhero named Chat Noir." the kwami explains as Aru watches Silver Bullet and sobs. "Aru, what's wrong?" you ask your kwami. "I can't believe that beautiful wolf was defeated by a handicapped child and his alcoholic uncle! This story is tragic!" Aru bawls loudly. "Don't worry, Aru. I'll find you a copy of a comic book called Ferals that should cheer you right up. It's got a happy ending that you'd probably enjoy." you snicker as you pet the sad kwami. "Did you make your phone call, baby? Are you going to spend some time with me now?" Adrien asks you happily. "Uh... I kinda have to go do something real quick. Could you give me an hour?" you ask him feeling terrible that you have to leave him alone like this. "Oh. I see. I guess I'll see you later then." he says sadly as his shoulders slump in disappointment. "Baby, listen to me. I have to go and take care of something important. I'll come home as soon as I can and I'll have a nice dinner with you, ok? Do you like egg rolls?" you say as you sit next to him and put your arm around him. "I like YOU. Why can't you stay here, and do the important thing later?" Adrien asks. "Because it's important. Do you love me? If you love me, then please trust me. I can fix your brain." you explain as you tap his forehead with your index finger. "I do love you (I think), I trust you. Please hurry back, I really don't want to be alone right now." he tells you. "I'll be back in an hour. You chill here with Plagg, and stay sweet. Smoke some of my weed or something. Doctor's orders." you smile at him as you give him a deep and loving kiss and head to the bathroom to put your jeans back on. "Do you think it's wise to leave Adrien alone in his current condition?" Aru asks you as he follows you into the bathroom. "I don't exactly have much of a choice, do I? I won't be gone for long." you explain to your kwami. "We need to find meat while we're out. I'm too weak to transform into Lycaon again. That means NO healing powers, master. The odds are stacked against you." Aru growls. "Good. It's what I'm used to. I'll make sure to bring my bag of thundersticks this time." you smirk at him as you put your pants on and return to Adrien's room to grab your boots and your guns. "Your eyes looked strange when you said that, master." your kwami points out to you. "Yeah, I get that a lot. Let's go hunting!" you say as you lace up your steel-toe boots and grab your duffel bag from underneath of Adrien's bed. "What's in the bag, baby?" Adrien asks as you sling your duffel bag over your shoulder. "Trouble." you say with a grin as you kiss him goodbye. "Should I be worried?" Adrien asks Plagg who just looks at the ceiling and whistles innocently.
"I hope you're not planning on doing something stupid, master." Aru growls as he flies into your jacket pocket. "Me? Do something stupid? Don't be ridiculous! We're just going to do a little bit of shopping, kill a few assholes, and go see Master Fu. Piece of cake." you smirk as you climb out of Adrien's window and down the trellis. "I don't know why that just made me shudder, but it did." you kwami explains as you hop over Adrien's security wall and put your hand into your duffel bag while you walk past an H spray painted on the wall. "You ain't seen nothin' yet, Aru. We're entering enemy turf." you say as you rip one of your wanted posters off of a wall and keep it for a souvenir. You continue walking as a group of angry men shout at you in French and open fire on you with submachine guns much to your delight as you quickly mow them all down with your FN MAG and casually pick up their guns and put them into your duffel bag with the others. "Good lord! What did you do to them?" Aru asks you in shock. "Heh. I toasted their asses." you chuckle as you reload and hear a police siren in the distance. "I'm afraid to ask you what that shrieking sound is." Aru says as you run down an alley and the siren gets louder. "That shrieking sound means trouble. We should always travel in the opposite direction of that sound." you explain to your kwami as you hide in the alley. "Why are we stopping?" Aru asks. "You wanted meat, right? Go eat those motherfuckers!" you say as you point to the group of dead Hornec gang members bleeding on the sidewalk. "Gladly." Aru grins as he messily tears apart their corpses and eats his fill as the police arrive. "Aru! Return to me!" you shout as you put your thumb and index finger in your mouth and handwhistle loudly. "Coming, master!" Aru says as he quickly returns to you. "Let's beat feet, my dog!" you say as you run down the alley and Aru lets out a satisfied belch. "I really love French food." Aru chuckles as he spits out a gold chain. "Wow! You're just the kwami that keeps on giving, aren't you?" you laugh as you pocket the gold chain as a gift for Adrien and run through the alley. "Arrêt!" a police officer says as he chases you down the alley. "I don't know if you understand French, but he wants you to stop. Are you going to kill him too?" Aru says as you run out into the street on the other side of the alley. "No. I might kick their ass, but I don't kill cops or Innocents on purpose. I made a vow to Adrien. Gang bangers are an entirely different story though. So is Hawk Moth. They're all on my hit list." you explain as you kneecap the cop with your Striker and hop a fence to get to Master Fu's street. "I smell another dog!" Aru growls as a doberman chases you through the yard and you shoot it in the face. "Good dog. Stay." you say as the dog slumps over dead and you hop the other fence.
You run down Master Fu's street as a carload of Hornecs drive toward you and lean out of the windows of their car and shoot at you grazing your arm with a stray bullet. "Tue cet enculé!" the driver shouts as they get closer and continue firing at you. "Ugh! Such foul language! What are you going to do, master?" Aru asks as bullets zing past you. "Fuck them up of course. Cover your ears, Aru." you say as you pull out your M79 grenade launcher and point it at the carload of gang members and blast the car into flaming shrapnel and charred bones as you run to Master Fu's house. "Was that a cannon? How do you have a cannon?" Aru asks in awe. "Because technology is my friend." you smirk as you drop another grenade into your weapon and bang on Master Fu's door. "Get in here, you maniac! Did anyone see you?!" Fu says as he grabs your arm and yanks you inside before slamming the door behind you. "Nobody that lived or can run very far." you grin as you blow the smoke off of your M79. "What kind of a psycho would trust someone like you with military weaponry?" Master Fu asks as he looks through his peephole and watches several patrol cars speed past his house. "A French military veteran hooked me up. Nice guy. I kinda regret that we had to set him on fire." you explain wondering how Jean is doing these days. "You set someone else on fire?!" Aru asks. "Nah, Adrien did. By the way, thanks for the rum you gave me last time. It REALLY came in handy, Master Fu." you chuckle as you set down your duffel bag and rummage through it to check out your new guns. "Wait, Adrien murdered someone?" Fu asks. "No, Jean's not dead. Just a little crispy." you snicker as Master Fu sighs and beckons you over to sit at his Kang table. "Aru, what happened to my pupil?" Fu asks as he puts on a pot of tea. "He couldn't handle my power. He's too sane. Not like THIS one over here. I certainly chose a good master this time. He just fed me a small pack of ruffians several blocks over." Aru belches as he points at you with his paw. "I should have warned you not to trade your Miraculous with anyone. I kind of thought that would have been obvious. How is Adrien anyway?" Master Fu asks you. "He's alright. He's not the longest dude that I've ever been with, but he knows how to use what he's got." you tell Master Fu with a loving sigh. "Uh... yuck. That's NOT what I meant! I mean how is he FEELING?" Fu sighs in frustration. "Meh. He's a bit awkward, but he's learning. I keep telling him that my nipples aren't radio knobs. Common mistake among guys his age, you know?" you chuckle as Master Fu slaps his forehead. "Is Adrien well? He's not braindead or catatonic, is he?" Fu asks as he pours you a cup of tea before pouring himself one and joining you at his Kang table. "He was, but for some reason when I kissed him his memory improved." you shrug as you politely nod and sip your tea. "I take it that you're unfamiliar with Virgil's writings." Master Fu says as he sips his tea. "I didn't know that he was a writer. I thought he just followed Ted DiBiase around." you shrug as you sip your tea and Master Fu and Aru look at each other in confusion. "Different Virgil. The Virgil I'm referring to was a Roman poet who said that love conquers all." Fu sighs as he sips his tea. "Virgil said that? I thought it was Deep Purple. I'd have to ask Luka, he'd probably know." you say as you sip your tea. "Did you injure your head as well? You seem a bit... um... dimmer than usual." Master Fu says as you sips his tea and looks at you strangely. "Sorry about that. I didn't smoke any weed today, and I get kinda dumb sometimes. The weed keeps me relaxed and sharp." you explain as you sip your tea. "Marijuana sustains your intelligence? I thought it had the opposite effect on people." Fu says as he finishes his tea. "Depends on the person. It's like acid, some people go insane and some people write books. Everybody's different, man." you shrug as you finish your tea. "You're a very unusual person, aren't you?" Master Fu chuckles with a friendly smile. "I guess it's part of my charm." you smile politely. "Here, take these." Fu says as he hands you two blue bottles "Thanks, Master Fu. What are they?" you ask him as you examine the liquid inside of the bottles. "The green one is a potion that will cure Adrien's memory loss, and the blue one is an aphrodisiac. You'll probably have fun with that one." Fu explains unaware that you're colorblind. "Uh... remind me which one is which, again?" you grin at him nervously. "I just told you. GREEN is for memory, and BLUE is aphrodisiac. Do you need me to write it down?" Master Fu says as he looks at you curiously. "Nah, it'll be fine. Thanks a lot, Master Fu." you say as you put the two blue bottles into your duffel bag and give him a polite bow. "Here, take this too." Fu says as he puts a small piece of paper into your jacket pocket. "What's this?" you ask him. "The egg roll recipe that you wanted." he smiles at you. "You're a cool dude, Master Fu. You kinda remind me of Mr. Miyagi." you chuckle. "Miyagi was Japanese, I am Chinese. I guess all elderly Asian men in Hawaiian shirts look alike to you? Racist!" Master Fu says sternly. "No! That's not what I meant at all!" you say defensively. "Ha! I'm only joking with you. Give my regards to Adrien." Fu says with a hearty laugh as you leave through the back door to avoid cops and wave him goodbye.
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Aventure Amoureuse