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My Life as a Teenaged Von Neumann Device	By : Toonspew Category: +M through R > My Life as a Teenage Robot Views: 21219 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own My Life as a Teenage Robot, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Chapter 11

Sheldon paced the interior of Nexus' ship, his heavy footsteps clanging loudly. As he shuffled back and forth, the Cluster drones that made up Nexus' resistance movement scurried out of the way, narrowly avoiding being crushed underfoot each time. His face bore a worried look, he was clearly uncomfortable with Jenny being in any kind of danger. His imagination taunted him with dozens of possibilities that could be menacing Jenny at that very moment. Brad watched him, annoyed, as he practiced spinning his pistols around his trigger fingers, just as he had watched his old west heroes do in the movies. “Sheldon! Would you knock that off?!” Brad complained, folding his arms over his chest. Sheldon stopped, turning to face Brad. “Sorry brad. I'm just worried about Jenny. I know she's used to danger, but I've got a bad feeling about this one. The stakes seem higher somehow.” Brad rolled his eyes, laughing it off. “Well that just makes it all the more exciting buddy! If you worry all the time, you'll suck all the fun out of this!”

“Fun?” blurted Sheldon, shocked. “You think this is all some kind of game?”

“Sure.” answered Brad. “The game of life. Think about it... we're about to storm an alien fortress, on the front lines of a rebellion against a robot dictator, in order to rescue a fair maiden from the clutches of an evil prince. How many people in the world get to experience adventure like that? I feel like some kinda Luke-Skywalker-cowboy-Robin-Hood or something.” Brad whipped out both pistols and leveled them at some imaginary foe, displaying his practiced quick-draw. “And you've got it even better, Shell-head! You're a bona fide superhero now. You know how much I've wished to be super strong, or fly, like you can? I'd love to be in your shoes right now.”

Sheldon grumbled, frowning at Brad. “You wanna get run over by a truck? I could arrange that...” he muttered under his breath. Perhaps Brad was right... but Sheldon felt nothing but apprehension at the idea of the oncoming combat. Perhaps Silver Shell had been built to be a super hero, but Sheldon was still a timid geek at heart. He preferred his action second hand, read through a comic book, unlike the thrill-seeking Brad. Perhaps Brad really was better suited to be Jenny's boyfriend...

Nexus walked into the passenger compartment, closing the door to the cockpit behind her. “The pilot tells me we're due to arrive within the next 15 minutes.” she stated, a forced calm in her voice. Sheldon was surprised. “Wow, that was fast. Earth technology takes days or weeks to get anywhere in our solar system. We got here in only 6 hours?” Nexus sat down with them, a few resistance bugs making room for her on the bench seating. “We're fortunate that the Cluster 1 doesn't move very fast. It's intended to be a mobile staging ground for invasions, like a planetary siege weapon.” Sheldon exchanged a wide eyed look with Brad. “Just how big is this thing, exactly?” asked Brad. Nexus smirked, showing a small flash of pointed teeth, an attribute she shared with her mother. “Don't worry, I don't plan on fighting it. Before I defected from the royal family and started the rebellion, I thought ahead and made sure to steal a handful of protocol codes. They should allow us to dock without raising suspicion, and fool the mothership's computer into believing that my ship is just another one of it's shuttlepods.”

The gathered resistance Cluster drones began forming up into ranks, each holding their firearm or blade at their side, as the Cluster 1 came into view on the port side of the ship. “Prepare yourself...” warned Nexus, “The wedding will undoubtedly be held in the throne room... we'll have quite a distance from our point of entry to get there. This will be a lightning strike, then a running battle back to the ship. It won't be easy.”

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Jenny awoke the next morning when a contingent of courtesans and groomers arrived, ready to prepare Jenny for her wedding. The were clearly shocked at her state, though they said nothing about it... politeness, Jenny supposed. They acted more as though she had been a child caught in the rain, fussing over her and cleaning her up. In short order they had prepared a new dress for her, and had dressed her pigtails into a complicated sort of beehive hairdo, surrounded by a headdress that reminded Jenny of some kind of Egyptian pharaoh. The robots applied makeup to her face, taking their time with intricate eyeshadow designs that flowed out from the corner of Jenny's eyes into swirls and spirals on Jenny's cheeks.

Jenny just sat there passively and let them go about their business. After last night's ordeal, she just felt so... defeated. She might as well just along with the funny little beetles wishes, it'd make this all a lot easier. Once Jenny was properly attired, Vexus arrived to pick her up. Jenny was surprised to find herself actually welcoming the meeting. Vexus may be a supervillian, but it was preferable company to the chittering little drones, even if they were friendly. Vexus' humanoid form lent her a degree of humanity that Jenny felt more at ease with, even if Vexus would never hear of such a thing. And it was certainly better then being escorted by guards...

“You look lovely, XJ9.” complimented Vexus, tentatively poking at the delicate arrangement on Jenny's head, fixing some minor detail she felt was out of place. Jenny walked alongside Vexus through a large promenade of the ship, where Cluster citizens hustled through on and off- duty activities. Jenny turned her head slightly to regard Vexus... she wasn't sure at all how to respond to this, so she remained silent. “It reminds me of my own wedding day...” Vexus continued “I was nervous too, of course, but nowadays it seems like it all went by in a flash. And my parents had done an excellent job in picking out my suitor... everything that was to be expected from a prince.” Jenny had never seen this side of Vexus before, she was being nice, even... motherly. Unable to hold back her curiosity, Jenny asked “You're married? To who?” Vexus tilted her head, her smile fading. “oh, my husband has been dead for the past ten years or so... Brutus is barely old enough to remember him.” Vexus sighed, and sensing Jenny's next question, she added “He was killed during the last great war against the Irkens, 'Impending Doom II', or something like that. Thankfully his death was not in vain... he managed to hold out against them long enough that their supply lines ran out, and they were forced to negotiate a peace settlement.”

Jenny felt sympathy for the Cluster Queen, once again being surprised by her own emotions. “Bah, ancient history!” said Vexus, changing the subject. “I wanted to talk to you about the ceremony today, and what will happen after. Being married to Brutus will grant you the title of Cluster Princess, and you'll weild a great deal of power. Brutus will remain a prince for the time being, until the day I eventually retire from the throne, and the two of you reign as King and Queen. During this time I will be instructing you in the finer points of being a successful monarch, as Brutus has been from birth. It will also be your duty to ensure the continuity of the royal line, which means you'll be expected to birth at least two heirs...” Jenny held up her hands to protest, stopping in her tracks. “Wait a second! I know I've been going along with this so far, but let's not forget that you forced me into this. What makes you think I'm going to stick around once I regain full access to my weapons systems? Do you plan to zap me with that EM gun every third day?”

Vexus placed a gentle hand on Jenny's shoulder. “XJ9... you are programmed to help those in need, are you not? Well frankly, the Cluster needs you. The Cluster is a mighty empire, but we're at the flashpoint of a crisis... one only you can avert. It's not quite the same as the superheroing that you're used to, but believe me, by joining the Cluster you'll be helping a hundred times the people you've been helping back on Earth. Your efforts are being wasted there, amidst it's brutish inhabitants, who don't even recognize the importance of your efforts!” Jenny regarded Vexus with skepticism. “And what makes you so confident the Cluster's citizens are just so much more civilized?” began Jenny, who then related the events of the previous night to Vexus. By the end of the story Jenny was threatening to ruin her makeup in a fit of tears, until Vexus held her in her spindly arms and hushed her quiet, which Jenny felt was downright bizarre. This was exactly the sort of thing Jenny's own mother used to do when she was little... a memory of being rocked to sleep in her mother's arms on a cool summer night came unbidden to Jenny's mind. That didn't make much sense, Jenny thought, until she remembered what her mother had said about her switching bodies over time. Judging by her mother's ability to lift her up, she guess she had been XJ2 or XJ3 when the memory had been created.

“Come, my dear, I know just the solution for you.” said Vexus, in her usual authoritative tone. Vexus quickly lead Jenny to the nearest security station, where Vexus demanded that the guards escorting Jenny the previous night be brought to her. The security station's manager, obviously petrified of his Queen, hurried to perform her orders. Minutes later, the two guards that had molested Jenny were brought forward, and were shaking with fear. “Are these the ones?” asked Vexus, and Jenny nodded without taking her eyes off them. She couldn't believe how angry she was at them... she wanted to melt them down with the white-hot hatred she felt. “Officers, turn over your side arms to me.” commanded Vexus, with which the guards immediately complied. Vexus powered up one of the pistols, and handed it to Jenny. “Do whatever you will, XJ9. You are acting in your position as a Cluster princess, meeting out the appropriate justice. There will be no recrimination for your actions.” Jenny balked, looking at the gun in her hands. Vexus wanted her to kill them? She knew what she had just thought a minute ago, but now that the opportunity was in front of her...

Jenny leveled the pistol at the guard standing before her, who gulped but remained in place, arms at his sides. “Your first lesson on being a ruler;” stated Vexus “is that sometimes a leader must bear the burden of responsibility for something that appears wrong, but is so very, very necessary.” Jenny looked down the scope of the gun, picturing the laser firing from the muzzle, spearing out to obliterate the head of the guard in front of her, the one who had caused her so much pain the night before. She imagined he felt as helpless as she had, right then. And suddenly, the memory of her mother returned to Jenny's mind. What would her mother think, if she could see Jenny now? Jenny threw the gun to the ground in disgust, noticing that it broke into several pieces on impact. Good... that meant her strength was returning, even if slower then she would've liked. Jenny walked away from the scene, saying “You'd better be careful Vexus... if you make me Queen, there are going to be some changes around here.”

Vexus watches Jenny storm off, and smiled. She hadn't done as Vexus told her, but she displayed anger, and that was something Vexus could work with. In time, she would mold XJ9 into what she wanted, twist her ideals until they suited the needs of the Cluster. Vexus turned around, looking back at the two guards who were visibly sighing in relief. Vexus snarled. In a flash, she closed the distance between them, driving her right fist through the skull of the closest guard, killing him instantly. The second gaped in shock as Vexus pulled her hand from the ruined head of his companion, then seized him by the shoulder with it. Vexus' left hand flicked out into a splayed position, deadly talons extending from the tips of her curled fingers. In a single fluid motion, Vexus' left hand cleaved up through the guards' torso, easily shredding his armor and sending bits of his inner machinery flying out onto the floor. Vexus dropped the collapsing guard, who died with a weak mechanical squawk as his vital fluids and components spilled out in a pool all around him.

Vexus flicked her hands, retracting her claws and trying to clean the majority of the guards' entrails from her hands. Leaving the cleaning to the janitorial staff, Vexus turned and strode off after XJ9. She would have to keep a closer watch of the subjects she allowed to watch over her captives in the future.

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A short while later, Jenny had taken her place in the throne room as the ceremony begun. Luckily, thought Jenny, Cluster weddings were at least as ornate as human ones. Her anxiety slowly mounted as it looked more and more like she was actually going to have the marry this twerp, Brutus. What a situation to be in... married while still in high school! Although, it's wouldn't really be considered legal back on Earth, but then that was starting to beg the question of whether or not Jenny was ever actually going to get back there at all.

At the front of the room some kind of clergyman was reciting something in a computer language that Jenny couldn't understand... “0, 11, 0100011, -101110-10-1-1110, 00-10100-1....” Vexus and the other Cluster citizens listened attentively, but it was all gibberish to her. Jenny subtly elbowed a nearby attendant to find out what was happening, and was told that the cleric was leading a prayer in trinary code, considered sacred by the majority of the Cluster. Jenny just shrugged, tuning it out. She flexed her grip on the ornamental chime she was holding, testing her strength. Disappointingly, she found herself unable to bend or break the metal, producing an annoying creaking instead.

Afterwords, Jenny and Brutus approached the throne where Vexus sat, adorned in her full royal vestments. As Vexus directed, the two of them placed their hands together and recited their full lineages, as far back as was appropriate. Brutus began, declaring himself “Brutus, son of Vexus, daughter of Clorus, son of Grantius and descendant of the mighty Frederator, founder of the line.” Vexus, and the crowd, then turned their attentions on Jenny, expecting her to follow suit. Jenny stammered, unsure what would be appropriate for a girl like her, who had been crafted by her mother's hand alone. “Ahhummm... XJ9, daughter of Wakeman... err, based on the work of Neutron, extrapolated from Devol, influenced by Walter...” Jenny shut up when she caught the blank stares of the audience, offering a sheepish smile instead “...that's all.”

Vexus then rose from her seat, and declared in a loud commanding voice “Let it be known to all that I have judged this robot, and I find her worthy. From this day forth the house of Vexus welcomes XJ9 as it's newest daughter.” Vexus extended her hands to Jenny, placing a tiara on Jenny's forehead that looked a lot more like a tuning fork then jewelery. Cutting it pretty close guys, thought Jenny, worried that she would have to resort to sprinting towards the nearest exit if help didn't arrive very soon. Jenny glanced nervously at every visible door, hoping for any kind of delay in the ceremony. Vexus concluded her lines, “This is the decision of the matriarch of the Cluster. If any should dare oppose it, let them feel the full weight of the empire upon them!”

A loud crash sounded from the far back of the room, causing the wedding ceremony to come to a sudden halt. Jenny and Brutus spun around, looking towards the large double-doors that served as the main entrance to the throne room, closed for the day's events. The ornately carved metal of the doors had been caved inward, a gigantic dent projecting in towards the throne room, as though the opposite side had been on the receiving end of a collision with a truck. For a split second no one moved or spoke, stunned by the oddity they were witnessing. Never in the last century had anyone or anything opposed the will of the Cluster in the royal throne room. Then, a second crash sounded, and the double-doors shattered, thrown from their hinges and hurtling towards the assembled crowd.

In the doorway stood a very angry and very determined looking Silver Shell.

A moment later, the room exploded into movement. Around Silver Shell's legs swarmed in armed rebel Cluster drones, pouring into the room and firing almost randomly towards the Queen's royal guards. The Royal guards were instantly springing to the defense of Vexus, throwing themselves into the line of fire if need be, and returning some shots at the rebels when they could. Nexus streaked into the crowd, dashing ahead of Shell, and issuing out large gouts of bright green flame from her wrists. The chemical fires she started served to block off the screaming wedding guests and slow the oncoming guards, ensuring a direct route to Jenny remained open. Silver Shell strode confidently forward, his pace increasing with each step.

Jenny came to her senses, yanking her hands away from the would-be-groom's. Jenny gave Brutus a hard smack across the face that sent the puny prince spinning, then rushed towards Silver Shell as fast as her dress would allow. Sheldon was duking it out with a few of the Queen's bodyguards that had attempted to halt his advance, but even armed with futuristic lances they were no match for the hulking body of the Silver Shell. Sheldon reached out and grabbed the nearest guard by the head, easily hoisting him off the ground and swinging the hapless goon as a blunt weapon. As the remaining two attempted to penetrate Shell's armor with their weapons, they were in turn knocked aside by Silver Shell's improvised club. Discarding the guard by tossing him over his shoulder and into the crowd, Sheldon spotted Jenny running towards him and locked eyes with her. Amidst the fire, gunfire and combat occurring all around them, Sheldon took Jenny into his arms and swept her up in an enormous hug. “You came for me! I knew you would!” exclaimed Jenny happily, immense relief showing on her face. “I mean... I knew you guys would come rescue me.” corrected Jenny, akwardly.

“Centurion, go fetch the EM gun that brought XJ9 down in the first place!” snapped Vexus, “the rest of you, lay down a suppressing fire for me.” The guards did as they were commanded, firing at the strike team of rebels and forcing them to take cover behind the abandoned seating arrangements. The rebels were valiant, butcouldn't compare to the superior skill and training of the Queen's elite guard. The rebel drones were dropping like flies. Vexus hissed maliciously as she flew forward like a hurled javelin, her membranous wings extending from her back and propelling her towards her target. Her sights set on Silver Shell's throat, her arms reached out in front of her, extending impossibly sharp talons ready to go in for the kill...

Nexus leaped out to intercept her mother, colliding with her in midair. Vexus and Nexus tumbled to the ground, their hands locked in a death grip with each other. For a few perilous second the two rolled together, neither gaining an advantage, until they eventually came to a stop... with Vexus on top. She pinned her daughter down against the floor, easily outmatching Nexus' strength. “So this is what you've been doing since you ran away? You organized the rebellion that's been inconveniencing me? What a waste.” Hissed Vexus, baring her gleaming teeth. Nexus said nothing... but released a fresh burst of chemical-flame from her wrists, engulfing both their hands in orbs of deadly fire. Vexus noticed this tactic with a tinge of respect; against any other opponent, it would send them screeching off of Nexus, clutching their hands in pain. But Vexus was made of sterner stuff then that. She grinned, clenching harder on the inferno that was her daughter's hands, and forced their locked fists slowly towards Nexus' face...

“Ahem, excuse me Queenie.” came a voice from behind her. Vexus turned, distracted, to see a young human boy standing behind her. He smiled pleasantly, holding up something in his hand for her to see. “No, not this...” he corrected, indicating the black cylinder in his hand with a bright red button projecting from one end, “This!” Vexus' eyes followed to where he was pointing, spotting some kind of device affixed to her back! Underneath her, Nexus folded up her legs into a spring kick, planting her slender feet against her mother's chest and pushing off hard, sending the matriarch hurtling off of her and towards the opposite wall. Just before she impacted, Vexus caught sight of the human boy depress the red trigger, and instantly everything around her exploded into flame.

Brad helped Nexus up off the ground, sheilding his eyes from the explosion of the plastic explosive he had strapped to Vexus' back. “That was quite resourceful,” complimented Nexus, “The rebellion could use a few more like you.” Brad was about to reply with something witty when Nexus was struck from behind, suddenly engulfed in a halo of bright blue energy. Brad looked to where the blast had originated, and saw the EM cannon the Cluster had used at the robotics expo, being operated by a pair of Cluster warriors. Nexus spasmed violently, gripped in a seizure of some kind, and fell to the ground at Brad's feet. “Nexus!” he cried out, crouching by her side. Sheldon and Jenny noticed as well, turning their attention to the Cluster warriors brandishing the gun. Brad watched helplessly as the cannon fired again, this time straight for Jenny and Sheldon. The beam struck out for them, barely giving Sheldon enough time to put his arms protectively around Jenny, before the EM cannon impacted on target.

Brad watched Jenny and Silver Shell vanish. One moment they were there, then with a flash of light as the EM pulse hit, they were gone. With Nexus incapacitated next to him, that left Brad alone, with a dozen or so remaining rebel Cluster drones, scattered by the now reinforced royal guardsmen. Suddenly the odds had swung sharply against him. Brad didn't even have time to ponder what may have become of his two closest friends... he felt a tug at his pants leg, and saw Nexus gasp “Go! Get reinforcements! A ship! Press the attack!” Brad didn't know if she was even coherent... Nexus' eyes were wide and unfocused, her facial expressions wild and feverish. Making an important tactical decision, Brad turned and fled, heading back for the ship with a few of the rebels following close behind.

Vexus, pieces of her armor still smoking, pulled herself from the debris that had fallen atop her. The explosive attached to her back had taken out a chunk of the wall when it had detonated, temporarily trapping her under a pile of rubble until she had recovered enough of her strength to shove it aside. Now Vexus was fuming both literally and figuratively. The wedding was in ruins, XJ9 was nowhere to be seen... and both of her children were passed out on the floor. Wonderful. “Guards! Get these two to their quarters, and post a few sentries at my daughter's door. Where is the bride?” The guards were perplexed, as clueless to their disappearance as Brad had been. Vexus ordered an immediate search party, assuming that by “disappeared” the guards had meant “gotten away”. In short order search parties were organized and sent out, and Vexus retreated to her private chambers. After all this, she was going to need a nice relaxing bath.

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Jenny let go of Sheldon as the two reappeared in the now empty throne room, Sheldon slumping over with his hands on his knees, obviously drained from the experience. At the last second before being shot, Sheldon had protected them both with some kind of force field that he had activated, and everything had gone pitch black and perfectly silent. Now that sensation had returned Jenny peeked around, noticing that the fires had been extinguished and that the fallen guards had been removed from the room. In the aftermath of the fight, the room was as still as a grave. “Sheldon, what just happened?”

Silver Shell struggled to find his voice, trying to catch his “breath”. “I can only guess that... (huff) ...my force field didn't just block the EM attack... (huff puff) ...but it also deflected all incoming light rays as well... (wheeze) ...so we were effectively blind, but... (huff) ... the light bending around us rendered us invisible.” Sheldon collapsed onto his back, laying down. “I think the field also pushed away all the air within it's area of effect, which is why we couldn't hear anything. It's a good thing neither of us breathes.” Jenny walked back over to Sheldon, concern on her face. “Shell? You don't look so good... what's wrong?” she asked, worried. Silver Shell smiled weakly at her, “oh, I think I just used that invention a bit too long... it really drained my power core. I think... you might have to carry me for a bit.”

Jenny grunted with effort as she hoisted Silver Shell onto her shoulder. Her strength had improved above that of a typical human, at least, though she could tell she was still far from being the truck-juggling-titan she normally was. Between Sheldon's condition and her own, Jenny really didn't like her chances of breaking out and making it back to Earth by themselves. “Sheldon, we're going to have to find a place to hide for the time being.” announced Jenny. But where, she wondered, on a ship full of enemies, could they possibly go?
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My Life as a Teenaged Von Neumann Device