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Swallow The Moon	By : GhostHelwig Category: +1 through F > Ed, Edd, and Eddy Views: 9539 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Ed Edd and Eddy, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Disclaimer – I don’t own or profit from Ed, Edd N Eddy or “How You Remind Me.” The Eds belong to the Cartoon Network, the song to Nickelback. Rated R for all kinds of adult situations. Very, very slash.
Thanks, as ever, to darthelwig for the inspiration. Also, thanks to all my friends and reviewers for their continual support of this and my other stories. Without you, I wouldn’t – well, I probably would still write, but I wouldn’t feel so good about it. <’lol’>
The memory in this one is mine, by the way. But anyway, enjoy. Peace, all.
Worth Breaking
by Ghost Helwig
Eddy stomped through the junkyard, eyes blinded by unshed tears, heart pounding out an erratic, staccato rhythm in his chest. He should’ve seen this coming. No matter that this was like being blindsided by a tornado – he still should’ve seen this coming.
“Never made it as a wise man...”
Who else would Double D want but Ed? The one person in the world who’d never hurt him...
Eddy’s fingers dug deep into his palms, nearly drawing blood.
Ed had never hurt Double D...
Not like he had.
“I couldn’t cut it as a poor man stealing.”
For all that he’d once been the one who scammed the whole cul-de-sac, it seemed he was the one who’d been scammed.
“Tired of living like a blind man...”
How could he not have known how Double D truly felt? To see him there in the dim dawn, sitting in Ed’s lap, wrapped around him, shirtless and hatless and being gently kissed-
How could he not have seen that coming?
“I’m sick of sight without a sense of feeling.”
He could hear their approach, hear Ed’s feet pounding the ground, hear Double D’s labored breathing. He could’ve fled, or hid, or any number of things.
Instead he stood, his back to them, and waited.
“And this is how you remind me.”
They stopped a scant few feet from him. Eddy could feel their eyes on his back like pinpricks. He fervently wished that he’d fled instead of staying, and confronting.
“This is how you remind me of what I really am.”
He turned, and stared. Ed was still in his underwear, his undershirt a little wet and rumpled, but otherwise he looked much as he always had. But though Double D had put his red shirt back on he was still without his hat, and the effect was jarring. Eddy was only used to seeing his hair down when they were in bed and he was twining it around his fingers; the fact that he’d had it flowing free when in Ed’s arms just brought his betrayal crashing home.
Eddy wanted to glare, but he was afraid that if he looked at Double D too long the impact of his glare would be ruined by his tears.
“This is how you remind me of what I really am.”
Standing there as dawn slowly brightened around him and his two best friends, Double D felt horribly, inescapably alone.
And then Eddy spoke, saying words he never thought he’d ever hear.
“It’s not like you to say ‘sorry’...”
“I guess I should’ve known, huh? You and Ed – you were always close, you always got each other better than I got either of you.”
“I was waiting on a different story.”
“I just... I thought maybe you’d come around, come back.” Eddy laughed, bitterly, mirthlessly, not noticing how both Ed and Double D flinched at the sound.
“This time I’m mistaken...”
“But what do I know, right?” Eddy chuckled again, and the sound was like dry leaves. “I guess you found a way to move on, after all.”
“For handing you a heart worth breaking.”
Very softly, tenderly, Eddy whispered.
“He’ll be good for you, Eddward.”
“And I’ve been wrong...”
Shock had stilled his tongue up ‘til then, but a pained scream, almost a spasm, was welling inside Double D’s chest. It had to be released.
“No!”
“I’ve been down...”
Now it was Eddy and Ed who flinched. Double D, more sensitive and observant than Eddy, noticed, and had the grace to look abashed before he went rushing on in a half-terrified voice.
“It isn’t what you think, Eddy-“ A snort of disbelief from Eddy cut him off. Blushing furiously with the memory of how those words had made Eddy hit him all those weeks ago (and yet still he’d said them again – what was wrong with him?), Double D mentally shook himself. He had to continue, no matter how all this was hurting his raw, frazzled, overly sensitive nerves, no matter how much he just wanted to be curled in a ball somewhere soft, wrapped around his physical and emotional wounds – Eddy deserved an explanation.
“Been to the bottom of every bottle.”
“It was an accident,” Double D whispered, carefully ignoring the sudden tightening of Eddy’s lips. “I was distraught, and Ed was merely comforting me-“
Double D broke off when he caught a glimpse of Ed’s face. His friend did not look happy. Not at all.
“These five words in my head...”
Eddy caught the interplay, and even noticed something Double D had not – the look on Ed’s face during Double D’s hurried explanation. In Eddy’s head, that look condemned them all more than just about anything else could have.
“Scream ‘are we havin’ fun yet?’”
For the look on Ed’s open, honest face had been, for him, strangely complicated. It was almost as though he’d understood just enough for his feelings to be hurt...
“Yet... yet... yet... no, no...”
And for some odd, unfathomable reason, that disturbed Eddy most of all.
“Yet... yet... yet... no, no...”
Double D’s admission had satisfied no one, least of all him. But the pain and betrayal on both Eddy and Ed’s faces rendered him heartbroken, breathless and mute.
“It’s not like you didn’t know that...”
But he wanted to speak, to fix, to cure what he knew he had somehow caused. He wanted.
“I said I love you...”
Double D glanced from Ed to Eddy, lost in his pain and not comprehending why the man he loved was now doubting him.
“...and I swear...”
Ed stared at Double D, consumed by the new, unnamable feeling of guilt within him because, although he’d wished for Eddy’s help, part of him now wanted him and Double D to be alone again – though he couldn’t say why that was so.
“...I still do.”
Eddy stared at Double D as well, wanting so much to be touching his beautiful, pale skin instead of just admiring it from afar.
“And it must’ve been so bad...”
Agonizingly slowly Ed realized that the unfamiliar feeling of sadness coating his insides was no longer just him feeling bad for Double D.
“’Cause living with me...”
Despite himself, Eddy moved closer to Double D; he’d missed his lover so much, so often, but he knew he was no better for Double D now than he’d ever been...
“...must have damn near killed you.”
Unable to bear the intense, searching scrutiny of the two most important people in his life, Double D’s sad eyes filled with fresh tears.
“And this is how you remind me...”
At the look in those sensitive eyes Eddy was suddenly lost in the memory of being eight years old, standing on the porch of the new family in the cul-de-sac with Ed by his side. He’d knocked, and the door had swung open-
Revealing the brightest, most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen.
“...of what I really am.”
He’d fallen into those eyes that day, and he was still falling even now.
“This is how you remind me of what I really am.”
Ed reached out to give Double D’s trembling shoulder a friendly pat just as Eddy brushed a single strand of hair from Double D’s bruised, wet eyes. At the touch of both of their hands Double D felt suddenly caught.
“It’s not like you to say ‘sorry’...”
“I – I can’t do this,” he stuttered, not even sure himself what he meant. “I can’t.”
“I was waiting on a different story.”
Neither Ed nor Eddy seemed to really comprehend his meaning, but Eddy at least obviously took it personally – he recoiled in a worse way than he would have if Double D had struck him.
Immediately Double D reached out for him, but Eddy swatted his hand away – their flesh connected with a sharp smack that managed to make all three boys flinch violently.
“This time I’m mistaken...”
Double D drew his hand back to his chest, unhappy color flooding his cheeks. Annoyed at himself for causing such a reaction, Eddy ran a hand through his usually stiffly slicked back hair, not caring that he could feel it separating between his fingers. Double D had used to enjoy doing that to his hair using his fingers, working out the various hair products Eddy used so diligently to keep his ‘signature style’...
He dropped his hand to his side, suddenly uncomfortable.
“For handing you a heart worth breaking.”
Ed fidgeted as he stared at Double D, his stomach churning. It felt like he’d swallowed a barrel of snakes, and for a moment he wondered if maybe he had.
But no, he’d been with Double D all morning, and Double D would never have let him swallow snakes.
Though oddly enough, it was looking at Double D that made him feel he had.
“And I’ve been wrong...”
Ed’s eyes wandered over to Eddy. He, too, looked as though his stomach was bothering him – maybe he felt like snakes were in his belly, too? Only one way to find out.
“Are there snakes in your belly, too, Eddy?” he asked innocently.
“I’ve been down...”
Eddy’s gaze landed on Ed – and seeing him, standing so close by Double D’s side, shifted Eddy’s mood and demeanor entirely. All the anger that he’d tamped down during his walk to the junkyard came rushing back, flooding him with jealous rage and the closest thing to hate he could feel for his oldest friend.
He glared at Ed, and the enraged look in his eyes was so blatant that even Ed couldn’t miss its meaning. He cowered.
”Been to the bottom of every bottle.”
As always when Eddy was furious with Ed Double D’s heart demanded he step in. But as his instincts kicked in and he felt his mouth opening, he knew he could only make things worse. He knew.
“These five words in my head...”
“Please, Eddy, don’t be angry-“
“Scream ‘are we havin’ fun yet?’”
“Angry?” Eddy scowled at Double D, but then spoke in a disturbingly cheerful voice. “You’re right, Double D. Why should I be angry? After all, Ed was just comforting you-“ He turned to Ed and barked, “right?”
Ed, caught off guard, simply looked blank.
“Yet... yet... yet... no, no...”
“You and your comfort,” Eddy spat. “I’m startin’ to think it’s a fetish of yours, Sockhead. I mean, that’s how we started, right? You comforted me, now Ed’s comforting you – it must really get you off.”
Double D paled at his words, and Eddy, disgusted, couldn’t look at him any longer. He wrenched his furious gaze back to Ed.
“Yet... yet... yet... no, no...”
It was plain that Ed hadn’t understood a word of that little exchange. His warm, worried eyes were traveling between Eddy and Double D, focused for once but still utterly, hopelessly, openly confused. Eddy’s fury increased exponentially at the sight.
What was Double D thinking, kissing Ed? Ed couldn’t possibly understand sex, couldn’t possibly give Double D what he needed-
Eddy was gritting his teeth so hard he developed a vicious headache. The very idea of Ed – big, dumb, sweet, eminently lovable Ed – taking his place in Double D’s arms and bed was enough to make him see red.
“Yet... yet... yet...”
Without stopping to think, Eddy stomped forward and roughly grabbed Double D’s slender arm in an unbreakable grip. Ignoring his feeble, hoarse cry of “Eddy, wha...” Eddy dragged Double D deeper into the junkyard. Not knowing what else to do, after a moment Ed followed blindly.
“...no, no...”
Finally they reached their destination. Eddy yanked the back doors of their van sanctuary wide open, and without so much as glancing at Double D hauled him up and pushed him inside. Already off-balance from being so thoroughly and violently mishandled, Double D stumbled, falling backwards onto the waterbed with a small but nevertheless panicked scream.
Ignoring that with a will, Eddy called over his shoulder in a deceptively calm voice that belied the rage dancing in his eyes, “c’mere, Ed.” Trained to obey Eddy’s commands without question, Ed stepped up beside him, his face still alight with childlike confusion.
“Yet... yet... yet...”
There was a horrified ache in Eddy’s chest now, not caused by but certainly exacerbated by the look of fear and dread Double D was trying so valiantly, so desperately to hide. But Eddy’s own pain and his wounded pride demanded he go on, that he finish what he’d begun.
“So go on, then, Eddward,” he growled, making the name sound like the filthiest swear word imaginable.
“You wanted him – fuck him.”
“No... no.”
Double D’s cheeks burned almost painfully from the coarse language - and the sentiment behind it. Eddy meant so much with those two words, and Double D knew it. He met Eddy’s inconsolable, irate gaze with hot, disbelieving tears clouding his eyes.
“Never made it as a wise man...”
Very slowly and with excruciating deliberateness, Double D shook his head, a mute and pained refusal.
It did nothing to improve Eddy’s foul temper.
“What,” he said snidely, “shy all of a sudden?” Eddy glanced at the prone Ed, who was still standing beside him in abject, mounting, worried confusion, and smirked mirthlessly. “Or maybe you’re starting to rethink seducing my best friend.”
His loud voice made even the mystified statue that was Ed flinch a little, and at the edge of his hearing Eddy heard Double D give a pitiful whimper.
Deep in his heart, in that moment, Eddy hated himself.
“I couldn’t cut it as a poor man stealing.”
“Go on, Monobrow,” Eddy forced himself to prod, still glaring heatedly at the boy standing so uncharacteristically still and silent beside him and ignoring the frantic pain he could feel emanating in shuddering, icy waves from his former lover. “You’ve gotta be curious by now, eh, Lumpy? So go on. Fuck him.”
Turning his furious, wet eyes to Double D, he muttered just loud enough for both of them to hear.
“He’ll let you.”
“And this is how you remind me.”
“Fuck him,” Eddy repeated when Ed still didn’t move, but Double D could easily read the real message in those eyes he knew so well.
Fuck you.
“This is how you remind me.”
Ed could not, simply could not, understand what Eddy was asking of him. But the continual surprises of the morning had left him in a dull haze of shock, and even if he’d wanted to he could not have thought of the words to ask Eddy to explain.
He was almost pathetically grateful when he saw Eddy gesture for him to get in the van. This, at last, he understood.
With a small, relieved, goofy grin he climbed in.
“This is how you remind me...”
A picture flashed in Double D’s mind-
A different face crawled towards him on hands and knees.
Blind, unstoppable fear turned his blood to ice, freezing him in place.
“Of what I really am.”
Startled by Ed’s instant obedience, Eddy’s anger rose even higher, spurred on by what he saw as Ed’s docile eagerness and Double D’s quiet acceptance – which only proved to him that they really did want each other.
“This is how...”
Ed didn’t know what Eddy wanted him to do now that he was in the van. But even he could tell that Double D was really upset, possibly even more upset than he’d been when huddling on Ed’s bed earlier. And it pulled at Ed, just as it always had.
“You remind me...”
Unbeknownst to Ed and Eddy, who couldn’t see that well into the shadowy recesses of the van, Double D’s usually emotion-filled eyes had gone blind.
“Of what I really am.”
Wanting nothing more than to help, Ed reached for Double D, while behind him Eddy’s heart continued to break.
“It’s not like you...”
A hand was coming towards him, fingers splayed, arm outstretched and advancing. Double D let out a high, shrill, keening wail.
“...to say ‘sorry’...”
Upon hearing that desperate scream Eddy’s anger became instantly lost in his guilt-ridden worry – and fear.
“I was waiting on a different story.”
Ed paused, staring at Double D with wide, befuddled eyes. Even he knew that that was not a natural sound flowing from Double D’s throat. He fervently wished Double D would stop shrieking just so he could think clearly enough to figure out a way to get Double D to stop.
But his hand was stuck in the air, extended towards Double D, and it was all Double D’s blind eyes could see.
“This time I’m mistaken...”
Tears were streaming unchecked down Double D’s cheeks, but he didn’t even blink – all he could do was stare. Every second that passed terrified Ed and Eddy a little more, sent shivers all the way into their bones.
The first to break out of his paralyzing shock was Eddy. Cautiously he moved closer to the van, leaning inside to stare at the cowering, quivering form of the boy he adored above all others.
He tried to keep his voice soft and gentle, as befitted the circumstances, but he also had to make sure his voice carried through Double D’s pain. “Double D,” he began-
And was startled into silence when Double D’s panic-stricken howl petered off into frail, strangled begging.
“For handing you a heart worth breaking.”
“Please, leave me alone,” he whispered, a lump forming in Eddy’s throat at his words. Double D was sending him away? After all that unexplained screaming, that was all he wanted to say?
But then Double D went on.
“And I’ve been wrong...”
“I don’t want this,” Double D whimpered. “I swear I don’t, don’t touch me, cease, desist, please stop-“
He choked off.
“I’ve been down...”
Ed recoiled, his hand drawing back to his chest and tears welling in his eyes. Was Double D mad at him now – had he done something wrong? Maybe he could make it better if he held him again.
Without warning Ed reached out to hug Double D, just as Eddy crawled into the van beside them.
“Been to the bottom...”
At the touch of hands on his sensitive flesh Double D screamed again, a shriek of pure, unadulterated terror, and Ed immediately let him go.
“...of every bottle.”
Quick as lightning Double D was scrambling past Ed and Eddy, falling out of the van and onto the ground in his haste to get away.
“These five words in my head...”
And all they could do was watch him flee.
“...scream ‘are we havin’ fun yet?’”
Though his own home was the scene and seat of his pain, it was the only haven Double D’s fractured mind could come up with, so that was where he ran. By the time he got there he was completely out of breath, winded from physical, mental, and emotional exertion. He slammed and locked the door, then fell against it and slid down, a breathless, sobbing heap.
“Yet...”
Eddy sat back on his heels, staring at the last place he had seen Double D as he ran from them. He hadn’t meant to frighten Double D, had not even been aware that such a deep, overwhelming fear could be felt. Even for one as neurotic and high-strung as Double D, that reaction had been over-the-top. And why...?
Feeling the need to have someone to commiserate with, Eddy turned to Ed-
“Yet...”
Then he remembered Ed’s lips on Double D’s.
“Are we havin’ fun yet?”
With a disgusted growl Eddy clambered out of the van. Confused but still strangely silent and passive, Ed followed him like an unhappy puppy begging for his master to lower the rolled-up newspaper held above his head.
“Yet...”
That hangdog look used to bring hot tears instantly flooding into Eddy’s eyes.
Now he just felt cold.
“Yet...”
Ed tried to focus, tried to bring his mind around. There was something he wanted to say, something important, but the ice emanating from Eddy was distracting – it was so unlike his usual angry heat and passion.
But everything this day had been different.
Everything this day had been wrong.
“Are we havin’ fun yet?”
Double D... Something Double D had told him needed to be told to Eddy, so Eddy could help...
But Eddy was already turning away, and Ed just couldn’t remember.
“Five words in my head...”
So Ed blurted out the single thing he could remember, the most important thing he knew to be true.
“We must help Double D, Eddy.”
“Are we havin’ fun yet?”
Eddy looked back over his shoulder at him, studying him, saying nothing for the longest time. When he finally spoke, he didn’t sound angry, or resentful – just hollow, sad... Grieved.
“Five words in my head...”
“Just don’t follow me, Lumpy.”
“No...”
He walked away, leaving Ed standing in the middle of the junkyard, a lone figure amid piles of forgotten, useless things.
“No.”
- 10
- 11
- 12
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Swallow The Moon